September 4, 2024 • 92 mins
Heavy Riffs Podcast - Episode 60: BISCH Pharmaceuticals, Presidential Bids, and Sovereign States
In Episode 60 of the Heavy Riffs Podcast, the boys go down the rabbit hole of BISCH Pharmaceuticals, exploring its latest therapeutic ventures and discussing Kanye West's laughing gas addiction. Join us as we break down why stepdad weed is better than dad weed, and why fake psilocybin gummies just aren’t cutting it. We also pay tribute to the legendary Dave Grohl (RIP) and speculate on Justin’s presidential bid with either Tuck or JFK's brain worm as his running mate.
From Ty’s trash day treasures to the bizarre phenomenon of potted meats, this episode has it all. Listen as Justin reads for the first time on air—tackling the Gettysburg Address—and declares his candidacy for President (USA USA USA!). We also chat about the cult following of Hamm’s beer, the speed of Blade Runners, and the strange case of Justin’s potential gout or bone spur.
We watch the Paralympics, where armless table tennis takes center stage and the Brazilian Torpedo blows us out of the water. Tuck’s love for talking to walls and his disdain for googling things rounds out the chaos, making this one of the most unforgettable episodes yet.
BISCH Pharmaceuticals, Heavy Riffs Podcast, Presidential Bid, Fake Psilocybin, Trash Treasures, Dave Grohl Tribute, Hamm’s Beer, Paralympics, Blade Runners, Potted Meats, Sovereign State.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Swap Swap Swap Swap Swap
(00:08):
Dude we got to like record that and just hide it in the shadows in people's houses
Get up to piss in the middle of the night, you walk around just hear that coming from under the couch
How do you get that low dude? You got such a high-pitched speaking voice. How do you get that low?
(00:29):
I dropped my balls out of my fucking balls.
Dude I got a fucking tiny brain.
What are you thinking of doing?
You got to let it rest.
Is it a diaphragm?
I got a fucking small fram dude.
Peter Framton.
I'm a big farmer.
Big farmer dude.
Or big farmer.
I got a little more.
(00:53):
Yeah what the hell?
Hell yeah.
Heavy riffs.
You're listening to bitch FF.
(01:18):
What road do we take up here?
Route 50?
95.
This is the route most people tell.
97 baby.
You take 50 to 97 or 95.
Come on up and stay in that thing.
We got a traffic out there.
We got a bitch FF.
Check it out on that traffic all over after the tubes.
We got a bunch of yapping.
We got some driving.
(01:39):
We're going to be talking at you for a while.
We got your drive coming home.
It's like a deli baby.
92 cute bitch FF.
Broadcasting from the Heavy Riffs Studios.
Hell yeah dude.
Arbitis.
Arbitis Maryland.
Arbitis.
(02:01):
Arbitis or Arbitis?
It's definitely Arbitis.
It's Arbitis.
Because it's Arbitis.
Arbitis.
It's Arbitis.
Don't argue with me dude.
Yeah she FF.
Thank you for tuning in.
Bye bye.
They really need an Arbitis up here.
(02:23):
The Arbitis Arbitis.
I don't.
How's Arbitis doing?
Bad.
Arbitis owns everything now.
They're like no one's actually going to eat Arbitis.
So we're just going to buy everything else.
They're the umbrella corporates.
That's a smooth move on there.
Because they didn't have much.
They had the meats but let's be honest.
(02:45):
They were terrible meats.
The meat mountain put them out of commission.
I just a lot of things dude.
Remember they were doing like five for five.
A dollar piece.
Now it's like if you give us five bucks we'll like
we'll think about giving you some nuggets or something.
We'll give you the Arbitis sauce.
Do they still have the slider deal?
Dude after 2pm shit?
We'll have a happy hour.
(03:07):
That's kind of cool.
I would be stoked about it.
There's no such thing as bargains anymore dude.
Bargains are done.
Dude this fucking bit about the autistic piss
having a Bufo Tenen in it or whatever.
What is that?
It's like the
Poison Toad DMT shit.
Bufin Tannings?
Have you ever seen this?
(03:29):
Autistic piss.
Oh yeah the Bufin Tannings.
Yeah the Buf.
These kids are eating like
buffed up fucking frogs.
Pissing and turning.
Frogs are turning the kids autistic dude.
I knew it.
I've been petting frogs.
I'm giggling autistic piss.
Autistic piss.
(03:51):
Oh here we go.
We just found it.
We've been known about this.
Today we're hiding it.
It's the auties in the schizos.
TIL that some autism patients
excrete the same toxin in their urine
that hallucinogenic toads have on their skin.
Dude let's get my piss.
My piss.
Dude stop touching toads man.
(04:13):
I'm gonna piss in a cup
and we're all gonna drink it
and we start tripping.
I don't know man.
My doctor was right.
You should try distilling your piss dude.
Bro I'm gonna fucking
be one of them piss drinkers.
I'm sure that's MGD dude.
Wait is this why people drink their piss all the time?
(04:33):
They're just tripping balls.
Fucking dude.
Licking.
It's a lot easier to
basically an infinite supply of
hallucinogens instead of going around running around trying to find
hallucinogenic toads.
Where's I doing at 13 dude?
Why am I eating all those fucking
little cough drops?
What are those things like?
(04:55):
Triple C's.
I could just drink piss from frogs and I would have been
god damn signed.
I think it's a very specific frog.
Oh shit. I forgot the fucking mushroom gum.
It's PSA. You might die.
I forgot the mushroom gum.
It's a Thursday.
It's Thursday before Labor Day weekend.
True.
Believe in science dude.
(05:17):
So it's 4 ECHO yeah?
4 ECHO DMT? Yeah it's one of those.
Did you take them yet?
I tried one.
Instant anxiety.
This is not feel good.
Did you start seeing trails? Cause I did it like a long
fucking. No I just got
like antsy.
And they have
they taste horrible. It puts you on the edge
(05:39):
of about to trip but it never gets there.
I feel like I gotta eat
three more of them. You're just like constantly coming up.
That's terrible.
I never want that. That tense feeling
right before you release.
You never pass it dude.
I'll just be like hey okay.
He's amping up until and then it just stops.
He starts sweating a little bit and everything feels
damp and you're just excited and wet.
(06:01):
Not into it dude. I don't need to try him. Thank you for
being a guinea pig and trying. Yeah you know I
figure we'll do it next time.
We'll save for next time.
I'm coming tomorrow. Oh yeah you had a terrible time.
Let's fucking send it. Let's fucking send it.
Let's just misery love. I've already
slipped like three of them to Tyler. I
didn't know it was crazy.
Oh, acetyl silosin.
It's a semi-synthetic psychoactive drug
(06:23):
that has been suggested
by David Nichols to be a
potentially useful alternative to
silosin. David Nichols there you go.
For a form of
ecological studies as they are both believed
to be pro-drugs of
the
formula C14 H18 and 202
other names are for
acetyl-toxy-n and dimethyl tryptamine
(06:45):
32 dimethylamin
and the off-the-ethyl
for acetyl-toxy-n-doli.
Dude it says, what does it say?
Roots of administration
oral. Something
an anal. It said rectal or no rectal.
Oh we're booping the gum.
On the bottom right there at the bottom.
Oh lots of administration. Oral IV.
What does it say? Oral IV?
(07:07):
It says oral IV.
IV dude.
What does it say? Interracial
intranasal.
Intranasal so you can
snort it. Oh he's
iriterate. You can eat it. You can shoot it
or you can boof it.
Dude honestly it sounds like a good time.
We can try anything once right?
Well so you didn't have any luck eating it
(07:29):
so we'll try out the three other ways.
I'll shoot it. I'm boofing it dude.
And you're snorting it.
I'm going for the boof dude. Jamming a gummy up my fucking head.
I'll boof dude.
I'll boof dude.
You didn't sit there with a gummy bear in your asshole dude.
It's like what does that smell?
Dude why does it smell
fruity and yet shitty? It smells like ass and blue
raspberry. What the fuck is it?
(07:51):
Blue raspberry baby. Someone's squeezing a beaver.
You know what? Beavers have like
they have an anal gland which is where they get like
raspberry flavor from. Yeah.
Oh shit. Yeah.
I think it's also part of
the cologne and perfumes as well.
Yeah dude it's fucking crazy.
It's like a bizarre thing.
They're like no more amber greys.
(08:13):
We're out of whales. Get the beavers.
How much for echo did you put in my hand?
Not enough fun.
I'm pretty sure there was a place in like near
Edgewater called like for echoes.
It was like a day camp. There was Arlington Echo.
Gas stations definitely.
It was big when Spice was a fucking
rig of maroo
to run around. Oh dude Spice is not nice.
Dude what's this new thing Moon Rocks?
(08:35):
Have you seen Moon Rocks?
Oh let's get it around. I've been a dude
for sassafras. No no no no no
not that. It's a weed thing.
So it's like a nugget of
weed that's like rolled
in like no it's rolled
in like THC oil
or some sort of concentration. You're just getting too hot man.
And then it's like covered in like
keef and it's like
(08:57):
it's the gnarliest thing you smoke
and it's like a Faberge egg.
It's a, there's a lot of
layers to it man. It's like a Moon Rock.
But yeah it looks bizarre and it gets you
really stoned and. A lot of sativa.
You ruin your day is what happens dude.
It's just a day
ruin or you smoke a little bit of that.
You're just nothing else is getting done for the day dude.
You're on the moon dude. You're on the moon.
(09:18):
Buckle up.
Dude sign me out dude.
I'm not a big fan dude. I'm just into like
smoking regular dad weed now dude.
Like all the dude. People are starting
to do that. You know we've been talking about it
for a long time. We miss the fucking
train man. Dad weed is tight dude.
I take it. It was a brand. There's a brand called
bad weed. Yeah and that's like their thing is like
oh what else. We make weak ass weed dude.
(09:40):
We're about to step dad weed dude.
Give me that. Just a little angry.
Just make you a little pissed.
Little pissy. It's like nicer car.
Yeah.
Just way better at fucking
banging your mom.
Like good dick.
Yeah. How.
How. How.
How.
(10:02):
I've been eating.
I've been taking 10 milligrams splitting them
into fours and eating like a quarter right
before bed. It's tight dude. It's a quarter
of 10. Oh edibles.
Yeah two and a half. Two and a half. Yeah.
See and I did that without common
cord dude. Dude yeah.
All your new parents out there get your kids
to do math. You.
(10:24):
Send them to us.
Send your children to us. Send them to Bish
University. We're going to teach them how to read.
They're going to read. They're going to do math
even more. Bish U.D.
We're coming at you. Bish University.
We're open for tuition.
Bish FM is. Dude.
Wait. Why aren't we a charity?
Graduated to.
We are a for-profit college.
(10:46):
I'm so fucking literally dude. Welcome to
Bish University where the grass is
blue. The teacher is high.
And your boys got nothing but
fucking
not common core math coming
at you. We got a bunch of
tunes to be fucking
it's a tuition
is very affordable dude.
It's about a plan. It's about
(11:08):
$10,000 a month. So you know
go meet with your banker. Bish
University.
We have a 30 year plan for our university.
30 years look at the mortgage.
Bish University.
Bish University.
It's going to take you 30 years to
learn how to do basic math.
Bish University.
That was all the legalese you know.
(11:30):
Yeah that was good.
It's actually a tremendous job on
the side. Just like a drug
commercials.
Speaking of that.
Bish Pharmaceuticals.
We are in business.
Bish Pharmaceuticals.
We got the laughing guys coming.
Bish Pharmaceuticals coming at you.
I'm called that. You got a Bish
(11:52):
tonight. Oh usually around
this part right here.
This is where the trip gets a little scary
dude. So you know we got your landing gear
for you as well. We got Bish
landing gear. Bish Pharmaceuticals.
2020
Bish Pharmaceuticals.
I'll be held liable for you. Copyright.
Results may vary.
Pharmaceuticals.
(12:14):
Results may vary. That's a good one.
Tickle dialer.
Tickle dialer. Tickle dialer.
Tickle dialer. Tickle dialer.
I'm very ticklish.
You tickle me dude.
We're going to tickle you with your
minds. Tickle dialer.
You guys tickle me.
A boy pisses pants dude. You don't want to see
a grown man pisses pants. I mean
(12:36):
it's always entertaining.
That's kind of sad right.
You're like I don't know. It depends on how old
the guy is. If it's a dude
like if the dude's like
20
to 40 mid 40s
it's hilarious. Tickle on a grown ass
man is a. I had multiple
room. Wild boob. That would get wasted and like
piss in the living room. On the couch
(12:58):
that's the worst dude. You're like hey bro
but you there you can't talk to it.
There's no sense to piss on a lawn. It's got to be
the worst when you become like a known
couch pisser. Dude
could you imagine being like known
for that. You have a reputation
for pissing the couch. Like your boys
would be counting your
beers. No no no he sleeps
on the floor. Outside.
(13:20):
No that's what it is. Why are we always
sitting outside partying. It's
25 degrees out.
Why do I wake up out of bed every morning
dude. Because
you pissed on a lot of couch. You pissed on
a boy. You pissed on my dog last night.
He's not a little happy about it. Territorial
pissing around here. We don't deal with
that around here. It's a little nirvana
reference.
(13:42):
RPM dude. RPM
dude. RPM Kurt.
If he dies you don't fuck
up that one B. because it probably
this podcast might come out.
You always call it dude. I do. You got
to watch your tongue bro. Dude we can't
lose Kurt. You got to watch.
Yeah I need Kurt around for a while.
(14:04):
Oh what a tremendous
of bit boys. I love that dude.
Speaking of tremendous.
It's been a while boys. It has been a while.
It's been a while.
We're getting a little silly. I love having
you guys around town. Thank you for joining us tonight.
You're welcome dude.
I'm bummed out.
Because
(14:26):
we're not enjoying
a tremendous meal together right now.
You could have had some of that pizza.
I understand that.
No free advertising.
No I would never advertise that.
You know what.
It was kind. It was kind. It was a
great gesture on your end.
I'm not a big
zahga right now dude. Because it's been
(14:48):
giving me a lot of ass reinforcements. Getting the burns.
Yeah I got the GERD. I got GAUT.
Which side do you sleep on?
Both. I'm a baisaj.
I'm a baisaj.
I'm a baisaj.
I just don't enjoy sleeping.
I move around a lot.
You don't enjoy sleeping?
I can anymore dude.
You gotta start taking the melatonin.
(15:10):
You'll get over the nightmares.
You gotta push. It's the fucking meth.
It's the meth. It's great dude.
You don't eat a lot.
And um...
You're like fucking bagel bites dude.
So if we do...
If we honestly start fish farm suitable.
Fish suitable?
The thing is I...
I mean him's...
(15:32):
Bish sounds like a pharmaceutical company to begin with.
Bish.
I can see the lettering.
You guys shut me down.
Are we trying to sell prescriptions?
I still haven't written down.
Dick pills.
We specialize in boner pills dude.
No I had that whole idea for the
nitrous therapy
place.
(15:54):
Where you go in. It's like a
dinner. But you got rooms.
That's a wellness center. We're talking about a
pill factory dude.
We need scientists in stock photos.
Sounds like a...
So when I was leaving
I was just looking
for new positions and shit.
And of course I put it all on there.
It was like monster.com and all this shit.
(16:16):
All these recruiters would call me and
they're like you should sell medical supplies
and then I would like get a call
and I would start an interview process and all this dumb shit.
And then they were like
I've never heard of this company and then I would
Google it obviously.
Research and be like what is this website?
And it just obviously like
stock images of like red nose.
And it was just like I'm like they are not
(16:38):
doing this. They're just selling
fentanyl.
It was the most weird
process I've ever
gone through. And like honest to
God it was
so weird because
I feel like the way the pay structure
and all that shit was crazy.
And they're like yeah just keep selling more of it.
What was it?
(17:00):
It was pharmaceutical sales but like when I was
this was like when I was leaving.
Dude I had it. I had them on leash.
I was like I'm going to be
I was going to be big pharma dude.
Dude I was dude.
You get a tattoo that just says big pharma.
Big pharma.
You finally got your nickname.
I was wrestling named.
(17:20):
Big pharma dude.
Big pharma.
Big pharma.
It's like big fat pharma.
No.
No ph.
No clothing company.
That was.
Yes.
What's the movie? Did fish start that?
Yeah it was called like the heavy weights.
(17:42):
Heavy weights.
That's a fantastic.
Queue it up.
Yeah fat pharma is a clothing company.
That's basically what the movie is about a fat farm.
It's a fat camp dude.
Dude the derogatory term is fat farm man.
It's true.
I'm a huge fan of Ben Stiller.
Oh.
We got Ben Stiller.
(18:04):
I was like
I was just going to like
That's the end of the podcast.
I'm a big fan of Ben Stiller.
Well talking about fish pharmaceuticals.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
We have fish therapies.
Fish Therapies LLC is a unique
and innovative therapy center that provides
Client GPT baby with a temporary
(18:26):
but intense feeling of happiness through the
use of happy gas.
A carefully formulated blend of gases
combined with Bish music
a custom designed auditory experience
that enhances feelings joy and relaxation.
With 10 beautifully
decorated therapy rooms Bish
Therapies offers a comfortable
and safe environment for clients
to experience a scientifically
(18:48):
proven method to boost happiness.
Results me there.
Mission Statements
to bring joy and happiness to people
in a safe and comfortable setting
providing them with a temporary escape
from the stresses of daily life
are vision statements to become a leading
provider of innovative therapy experiences
that enhance mental well-being
(19:10):
and bring positivity to people's lives.
The services offered at Bish Therapies
offer a unique happiness therapy experience
that combines. How long is this?
It's as long as it needs to be, dude.
Happy Gases, special blend of
gases including safe levels
of nitrous oxide designed to induce
temporary euphoria and relaxation.
Bish Music is a custom designed
soundtrack composed with uplifting
(19:32):
and positive elements to enhance
the feeling of happiness. Each
therapy session includes a private well-decorated
room with comfortable seating and calming
aesthetics. A designated therapy professional
industry safety and manage
the happy gas music. A 30 minute
session with flexible options
for longer sessions during which clients
are guided through a relaxation process
and then enjoy the happy gas Bish Music experience.
(19:54):
And then a debriefing session
post therapy to ensure the clients well-being
discuss any aftercare tips.
You know,
Bish Therapies
cannot be held
viable for any
digging around
the basement that you may do in your mental
facilities. And
if you cross over to the other side, we hope
(20:16):
you figure something out about yourself.
Grab some panties. Hello from the other side.
We'll play that. So yeah, if we really
start... If your insurance bounces,
basically, I'm pretty sure we can...
Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare!
Here, imagine...
Here, have some of these gummies, put them in your ass.
Honestly, that would be sick if we could just start a church
instead of a therapy
(20:38):
process. Dude, the first church of Bish,
you can buy a church. You can buy a church.
We don't have to get anything. You can buy a church
real cheap, dude. Old churches, they're selling them
like bottom-barrel prices.
Hotcakes!
Hotcakes, baby! We can have a pancake
social, dude.
Pancakes? It sounds sticky.
It is. It is. It is. It's a sticky situation.
Sounds great. It sounds great. You get like
(21:00):
a couple pancakes. Dude, I used to do them.
When I was a Boy Scout, when I was a lad,
we used to literally do pancake dinners.
Oh, yeah. At the church.
Or spaghetti, or the spaghetti.
Yeah, or the spaghetti, yeah. We did both.
But the pancake dinners was a better hit.
Oh, always, dude.
People came in, in tropes.
I don't know how they did this, but they would always have
that spaghetti. They would have the sauce
(21:22):
that's dry. You know what I'm talking about?
The dry spaghetti sauce?
Yeah! How do they do that?
Ask NASA, dude.
Dude, it's fucking... It's painless.
It just tastes like tin.
Was it like MRE?
Yeah, it still tastes like metal.
Yeah, it's like metallic, and there's no moisture.
It's just dry chunks of tomato.
It's painless. Clinging to the noodle, though.
(21:44):
It is stuck to that thing. It's not coming off.
It's a great vessel, dude. It's a great sauce vessel.
But the dagger is...
Yeah, you're right. It was heinous.
And no one ever cooked in fucking noodles all the way through.
No, no, no.
People didn't come for spaghetti.
Or they're way overcooked.
They just experienced way overcooked.
I like how they usually way overcooked.
Of course, no.
(22:06):
Wet noodles dry sauce.
I'm writing that down for the memory big.
Wet noodles dry sauce.
That is a weird one. I would do dry noodles wet sauce.
Well, that's how...
You would think that's what it would be, but...
Yeah, no fucking shit. This is what they're giving.
The fuck?
I would do wet noodles no sauce.
No sauce you just want.
How do you feel about buttered noodles?
(22:28):
You know, buttered noodles are great.
It's garlic, absolutely.
Buttermilk with salt and pepper because
we didn't have the highbrow shit as a child.
Egg noodles, though.
If I'm going that route, egg noodles that way.
Fuck your German.
Yeah.
Beef shirmin' off.
My mom's name is Niederstadt.
I don't like this.
(22:50):
Is it good, sir?
Yeah, it looks like you're struggling.
It's got holes and chants aerodynamic.
Dude, your back's probably not sweating.
I mean, it's a nice...
It's a trash chair, ladies and gentlemen.
Gentlemen, mainly.
It's a trash chair. Dude, I've got a whole bit going about...
He's a trash man.
Trash days in rich neighborhoods
is fucking really cool.
(23:12):
Tyler is broke as fuck. Please send him some.
Correct.
Facebook just monetized the Mountain Wolf page.
A little plug. If you want to come in, it's only 99 cents a month.
I need him to stop bringing cat piss chairs
into the recordings.
So I got this $300 chair pro bono.
I got a fucking $1,200 kayak pro bono.
And I got like a $500 propane grill pro bono.
So trash days in the...
It's amazing what you can get for free
(23:34):
when it's covered in cat piss.
One man's trash is a Tyler's fortune, dude.
Dude, I'm a very...
It's a great come up, dude.
No, I mean, honestly, God, that's in...
It's in great shape. People throw shit out.
Just a little gaff tape? Dude, you said gaff tape fixes anything.
Dude, I can't wait until you have
like three rusted junkers on your lawn.
Dude, you need my cars?
Yeah, dude.
(23:56):
I'll fix it one day.
Yeah, it's good as new.
I fixed the fucking grill.
I think rips.
It's ripping and you're burning shit.
I fixed the kayak.
The kayak's great, dude.
That's a great come up, dude.
And I gaff taped this one little tear.
It didn't smell like cat piss too much.
There's more of like a baby
(24:18):
sense of piss to it.
But I cleaned it.
Tyler, are we going to have to do the fucking
blind piss test piss sniff test?
I want to see if you can get over it.
Where are you going to procure pisses?
I mean, cat, that might...
Dog piss easy.
Dog piss is easy, yeah.
It's all over my house.
We know people with kids who have been like,
(24:40):
save some of your kids' piss.
Yeah, just a little piss.
We got weird friends over there.
No questions.
Oh yeah, he's got a new job.
That's right, he does need some piss.
He needs as clean as it can be.
I got a second cousin that's like two years old.
I'm sure I can grab a little piss out of that polly.
I'm sure I can grab a little piss out of that polly.
I'm sure I can grab a little piss out of that polly.
(25:02):
Just scare him.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I am.
Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare.
That would be awesome.
That's goals to be that uncle
that just...
just like to like scar the kids by like being like,
just be like, yeah, he used to scare the shit out of me.
He used to jump out and like try to bite me and shit.
(25:24):
And if you come here...
He did bite me one time.
Come over here.
Hide in the shadows.
I wish I could.
I can't do that.
Come over here right now.
Come over here right now.
I just want to make a movie out of this.
I do it like I'm okay.
You're the you're the uncle.
(25:46):
I'm the nephew.
Hey, Uncle Justin, what's up?
What you want little bitch?
Uncle, you called me over into this weird dark room.
Oh, that's because I was trying to get you to give me a fucking beer.
Oh, okay.
I thought like maybe you had a drug test coming up.
This ain't hot. Go seek, young boy.
I figured...
Son's way too familiar with drugs.
I'm not sure.
(26:08):
I'm not sure.
Son's way too familiar for you, dude.
I thought you were going to ask me for like, you know, my urine.
No, not today, baby.
We don't need that piss room, dude.
Okay, well, I'm going to go back and play with fucking Dr.
Get that piss room, big boy.
Oh, you said you do?
Okay.
You imagine, though, if I was that guy.
Sounds like you're hard, man.
(26:30):
That's really good.
Dude, that's my side problem.
That's our good deal.
You're going to start doing background vocals.
I should be mouth...
I should do mouth and for like...
You should mouth off, dude.
What's a call when you're like a mouther only?
I think it's called...
I think that's just called like a...
A voice actor. That's a hooker, dude.
(26:52):
That is, yeah.
When you're only doing mouth work.
Hell of a blow job, dude.
Speaking of that, can I get a beer, dude?
I fucked up.
Actually, I got a...
Yeah, I got it.
Yeah, let's take a break.
Let's go back to
Bish Therapies, LLC.
Dude.
(27:14):
Do they really have it?
(27:44):
Yeah, the caverns on the coming across.
You know I lie, living in them caves.
And this shit sounds like it's coming home.
(28:08):
Yeah, my balls kind of tired.
But you know I'm not a motherfucking smart guy.
Yeah, I lie, living in them caves.
(28:30):
Yeah, I lie, living in them caverns.
Like crawling with us to lag behind.
Like crawling with us to lag behind.
Like crawling with us to lag behind.
(28:58):
But I guess some of the problems go down.
Sit down!
Here's a problem.
What is happening here?
I don't know, dude.
Hot hands.
(29:20):
Hot hands in the dice game.
You can get like a 30 pack for like 15 bucks.
If we are back, Bish FM, radio break.
Wait, we're FM?
Bish FM sounds a lot better than Bish AM.
Bish AM!
The primitive Bish.
(29:46):
Bish BC.
Don't die from the hands.
Spicy.
Well, it's actually hands.
Hams has a sweetness to it.
It does. It definitely has that shitty beer sweetness.
Oh yeah, dude. They had to add that just to be like,
it's got rot.
Let's trick them into thinking it's corn beer.
It's rice beer. It's got to be rice beer.
(30:08):
It's got great branding.
Dude, the logo is beautiful.
I like the two M's.
They have like Hams.
It reminds me of like a title card from an old cartoon from the 50's, man.
Yeah, exactly.
For me, this looks like this is a bowling alley beer for sure.
Like you, you know what I mean?
It's an old Fursetta.
(30:30):
Dude, it looks like it's meant to be drunk at bowling alley.
It's literally like this is a bowling alley beer, dude.
I'm a gutter ball.
I like a cold beer.
I like me a cold beer.
Sometimes I like...
Beer can is definitely more expensive than a full can.
Bro, let's get on the selling empty car.
(30:52):
This is retro and it's like, we're drinking this one.
Yeah, I have literally put that up in the camera.
It's the same. It's the same can. It's the retro look.
Two bucks.
Dude, empty beer cans is a whole fucking ordeal.
Dude, yeah.
That's the move.
We could corner the market in here, dude.
I would say if you recycle it in a certain state, what you get for it, like five cents or something.
(31:17):
It says...
What you see? It's what you get.
I think you make a lot more money selling it on...
Oh yeah, like Michigan and shit, probably.
I hate to be that guy. There's a Seinfeld episode about this.
Is there?
Yeah, I remember that one.
Yeah, Kramer and Newman stock up on cans and drive all the way to Michigan or something.
And they lose like tons of money.
It's far as fuck away.
(31:38):
Yeah, and there's the gas mileage.
There's... they didn't have a hybrid.
Hold on, breaking news. There's a whole cult with a secret...
Cult of Hams.
Secret handshake?
No shit.
We're going to a website called Hop Culture.
This is probably going to be pretty gay.
This is some deep dive shit.
Anyone whose entire personality is cheap beer are interesting people.
(32:04):
Was that an ad for PBR?
Correct.
They're in the shtick, dude.
This whole website is in character.
Well, they're all in cahoots.
PBR pretty much owns all these little boys.
It's like Arby's.
Arby's owns all that shit, dude.
The PBR is the Arby's.
PBRB's, dude.
Okay, so Murphy's Johnson is the co-founder and director of Creative and Product Development and Vive.
(32:32):
Is the black swan of string just six miles away from Hams original song.
It's a location where they can't disclose because it's from Paul Bruins.
And in modern Tevlin's...
Parlance is...
God damn you, a weaponized dyslexia.
And if you know, you know.
(32:54):
I'm so proud of you for reading for the first time on the podcast.
But god damn, you weren't lying. You can't read good.
You're so big, dude.
My letters are too big.
You also just skipped like the sentence that set up everything.
You just started at Murphy's John.
Because that's a cool name.
My name is...
Can you imagine?
(33:16):
My name is Murphy Johnson.
You gotta be a porn star.
So I was trying to just find anything interesting in this article and I couldn't.
Luckily Justin...
So I'm never reading anything off the computer.
I'm a reader, dude. I'm really good at reading.
Can we just...actually this is...can we have a new segment?
Justin Reeds, dude.
(33:38):
Dude, the words are pretty big, dude.
Stings or hot shots.
Hot shots? One shot.
I don't read the N-word, dude. So don't play that one up there.
Guess what?
I should put that one on there, dude, just as a bit.
This is funny. See what happens.
I like the opening monologue from like...Grapes of Wrath.
(34:01):
Read by Justin Miller.
I don't know what's it...what's it a Tale of Two Cities or whatever.
Any of the...
What's the one that was the best of times?
Yeah.
Just any great American fucking novel.
Any Steinbeck. I just need like a synopsis from...
Justin...read by Justin Miller.
Let's see if we can find...Grapes of Wrath.
(34:22):
Dude, I want you to read the Gettysburg address.
Alright.
We'll do that.
That would probably be easier to pull up for free, right?
That's a miracle.
I'm pretty sure, dude.
Yeah, you pay your taxes, dude. That is fucking...
You pay for it, dude. This is paid advertising by doing taxes and all things.
Lincoln was all about free, dude. That guy was all about free.
Lucky for you, I found the smallest text available.
(34:45):
I think it's Bible print.
And I'm not gonna...
Oh, fuck, dude. He's not gonna be able to read that.
Yeah, I can.
That's just the problem.
Alright, here we go.
It's at the stage. It is 18 something.
1863, I think.
This is Lincoln giving his famous Gettysburg address.
(35:12):
Lincoln, alright.
Just try and read it normal, dude.
Okay, I am. Four score and seven years ago,
fathers brought forth on converses,
conceived in liberty and dedicated to proposions
that all men created equal.
(35:34):
God damn, you're good.
Now we are engaged in great civil war,
testing whether or not these Native Americans
can conquer the dedicated and can long endure.
We may be grateful, but battlefields are the war, dude.
(35:55):
We have come in on delicate portions.
The final resting place of who gave all these nations might life.
It is all together farming.
This is just as good as time.
(36:16):
Alright, hold up.
You're putting me in the ring, dude. This is a hard one.
I'm proud of you, man.
Dude, no, it's too close, dude.
Oh, yes, sir.
You're a...
I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there.
Thank you for reading Justin's corners.
I think that's reading in corners for Justin.
So important announcement. We decided that every fucking candidate is a dingus.
(36:39):
So Justin's running for president now.
36, officially announcing my fourth party.
You're hankled 20, 20, 20, 20.
Who's that retard kid you were talking about that was doing dinosaurs and shit?
Oh, dude, I don't know. He might be dead.
You're talking about that guy.
That was a dinosaur documentary from the 90s. He was counting bones.
(37:01):
Was he old then?
He was like maybe... It's hard to tell with them.
They don't age, dude. They might be a little...
He could have been like 50.
I want that guy.
I'll see what I can do.
Dude, I like people being cool, man.
I'm not gonna hankle.
Oh, yeah, dude. That was my second one.
(37:22):
Yeah, that was...
Q-Up, put the sign up. Show everybody.
Q-Up on.
Yep, there we go.
Q-Up.
Four score and four years ago, me and Tuck, my boy, we decided long ago
that alas, we must join forces and not cause hate.
(37:45):
Nor should we announce this too late.
For in 2024, my boy Tucker and I officially announced
our candidacy for president of the United States.
Miller Tunkle.
Dude, this is...
By the time this gets edited and released, it's gonna be the day after election day.
(38:08):
When is it? Is it November still? They still do this?
It's like the first Tuesday of November.
Keep going. There you go, Justin.
As I've walked through the valley in the shadows of death,
I asked two questions.
Why do we do this?
And why must you vote?
We are creating the world's greatest America.
(38:31):
The Shell Corporation will never be so strong.
For today, I announced 2024, my candidacy for presidency.
And alongside me, I appoint as my running mate,
a one Tucker, Henkel, and together we are Miller Henkel, 24.
(38:55):
USA, America, yay.
USA, USA.
All right, fuck that, dude.
Results my very...
Keep going, keep going.
Dude, I like the American flag. It made me so fucking fired up.
No wonder Trump gets fired up around this shit, dude.
(39:20):
Yeah, dude. It's like these fucking...
Dude, you just feel like spouting off words when you see that thing.
Oh, dude, no, I feel like I should be like piss drunk,
barely make it... I don't even make it into the fucking NASCAR race, dude.
I'm fucking hanging and banging in the fucking car, dude.
Windows down.
Dude, that's the campaign slogan.
(39:42):
Dude, Windows down.
Hanging and banging in the car.
Dude, Windows down is tight, dude.
All right.
Results my very...
When I was just Miller, I don't approve this message.
Seriously, if you vote for me, I'll be pretty stepped on.
Dude, do fart it.
(40:04):
I've never farted there.
I ever smelled the Delta.
Dude, should we play...
That's a bullshit fucking thing of all time.
Where do you guys vote? You guys go to like...
Dude, I feel like you vote at two places, a school or like a library.
Dude, Tyler, what the fuck?
Why doesn't this just play an election day?
Is it that cheese? I don't even smell anything.
(40:26):
It might be the pizza.
It's the chair, dude.
Dude, it's the chair!
It's the chair, man.
It's trash chair.
Dude, stop huffing the chair.
What's it smelling? What's it taste like?
Yeah, look at it.
I seriously would love to talk about some weird shit today, boys.
(40:48):
What do you have in it?
The current.
You even watch the Paralympics?
No, well, yeah, I heard some things.
The Paralympics? No, the Paralympics.
It's not over once.
I thought you were competing.
No, that's different. I have all my limbs, dude.
Oh, that's the special Olympics.
(41:09):
Yes, it's different. So the Paralympics, those boys are Blade Runners.
Why do they get two Olympics?
They do.
These are capable boys with blades, dude.
I'm talking Blade Runners. Have you seen these guys run with new ones?
They're faster than anybody you've ever seen.
Blade Runners?
Dude, they're literally like a Blade Runner.
That is sick.
Hard, dude.
(41:31):
There's the guy that still has one leg, so it's fast, but in a circle.
I would wear absolutely of 100% of Duster.
They call this guy the Brazilian.
And be a Blade Runner, dude.
You'd be so much faster if you took the Duster off.
Absolutely not, dude.
I'm sweating this one out.
Who was the guy, the South African dude, the Paralympic dude that killed his family?
(41:53):
No.
Just real quick.
Can we just point out they call this guy the Brazilian torpedo?
Oh, fuck.
And he's a quadruple-leaf chicken.
They call him the Brazilian torpedo.
If he swims, I have no excuses for anyone.
Dude, it's...
(42:14):
It says the Brazilian torpedo Gabriel Araruf claims backstroke gold.
With no limbs.
No, because if he was face down, he would be...
Oh, he's got feet?
Oh, he's like a propeller.
He's all feet.
Oh, that might be a different guy, so I'm fucking out to lunch.
If they're on backstroke only because they can't flip over, dude, they would drown.
(42:38):
Where's Brazil?
Dos Santos.
Dos Santos, out of your...
Too many letters in there, got all scrunched up.
He's used Jay's nose together.
I fucking cheated.
So that's a fault.
No, no, no. I think they just kind of pushed him in.
Oh, yeah, no, it's backstroke. You start in the ocean.
Well, he got a really fucking head start. He was getting used to the water.
(43:00):
Tyler, are we gonna have to go over again what an ocean is and isn't?
I know pools are not ocean.
That guy cheated. He was first in the water.
They're man-made lakes.
God damn it!
Okay, okay.
These guys are slow as shit.
Wait, that guy's got... Hold on, pause.
That guy is totally kingwater.
This guy's slender.
(43:21):
This man's very long.
He's fucking the Jets.
He's got all his limbs.
He's all torso, dude.
I see two, unless he's got very skinny limbs.
I think it's just the water distortion.
Understand refraction?
I don't know.
I don't think that's refraction. I think that's all action, dude.
That's not refraction. That's action.
That guy's seven feet tall.
(43:42):
Look at how bent that guy is in the middle.
Once again, these guys are also definitely physically impaired.
That guy jumped in the water a little early.
But I gotta know how fast are these guys?
They'd all kick our asses.
Beep!
So that guy does have all four limbs.
His legs just don't work.
(44:05):
Dude, the Brazilian torpedo is...
Dude, that's not backstroke.
He's just swimming the butterfly.
Does he have no bones in his legs?
Dude, backstroke.
He's a mermaid.
This isn't fair. He's swimming the butterfly.
Everyone knows I'm Michael Phelps Jr.
I was on Swim Team for years.
I ruined my life with music instead of going to all-state fucking swimming.
(44:30):
But dude, he is swimming.
I haven't gained it on him.
He is swimming butterfly.
Dude, he's getting a little close to the rope.
How can you tell?
Because I know the differences between the strokes.
The way he's kicking is definitely a bottom line.
The way he's kicking is what you do in butterfly.
It's inverted butterfly.
I think you need a flutter kick for it to be considered backstroke.
He might be able to.
(44:52):
Correct. I'm being very ableist during the Paralympics.
He's got webbed legs.
Of course you're going to win.
It's such a more powerful way to kick in the ocean.
It's not his fault for being great.
True.
He is the Brazilian fucking torpedo.
Dude, this guy is fucking incredible.
I hope he is really excited.
He might actually drown if he fluttered kick.
(45:13):
I think he can go straight down.
He has to keep doing that.
He's got flippers, dude.
There's things happening here.
If he's Paralympics ripped, this is sick.
He knows if he stops, he's drowning.
Do they have breakdancing?
Do they have breakdancing with a Paralympic?
I honestly think so.
Do they have skateboarding?
(45:35):
There's some really sick dudes with no limbs that skate.
I see those boys rip.
I'm not doing a bit. Is that there?
I think they have that.
I think they throw the shot put.
Is this a 100 or a 50?
No idea.
It's a 50.
So that's just one down, one back.
Get him out of the water, dudes.
(45:56):
Damn, he laughed in one of them.
Yeah, dude, he...
Wait.
Get out the watch.
That guy's got working arms.
Dude, the Brazilian tornado, what is it?
What's he...
See, I'll show you.
What's his name?
Butter French?
Well, fuck it. I don't need to...
That's the butterfly kick.
(46:18):
We decided that he's probably gonna drown
if he doesn't flutter kick.
No arms, dude.
That's just survival right there.
That's exactly what I was...
Oh, breaststroke.
Paralympics swimming.
I'm obsessed right now.
Sorry, I'm kind of on the tangent.
I didn't know this was like...
Hyper fixating.
This is like the most autistic thing.
This is like hyper fixating on the Paralympics.
(46:41):
Swimming, specifically.
Do they have shooting?
I want to see archery next.
Archery would be sick.
Dude, when are they gonna introduce
NASCAR to the Olympics?
That's what we need.
The Paralympics or the...
The Paralympics.
Let's be real, dude.
Is it breaststroke?
I don't know.
Are they fast?
We just watched the fucking
(47:02):
Frizzel and torpedo.
That guy is stuck in the shit.
That guy...
You fucking...
Shut up, Mexico.
Dude, that guy is not fucking full, dude.
That guy is not fucking full, dude.
Dude, that guy is stuck in the...
Well, I can't tell
if we're on the mushrooms or not,
because...
Yeah, who needs it?
Dude, look at this guy in the background, man.
See that guy?
What do you think he's listening to right now?
(47:24):
Like, something...
Very archy.
Straight up, Mary.
Straight up, Mary.
Dude, you're absolutely right, dude.
I would swim fast to the top.
La Cougarra.
Yeah.
He's like...
Hey, hey, hey.
That's my favorite one.
Or like DMX, dude.
Edge gold, give it to you.
Dude, how many Mexicans are in this thing?
(47:46):
There's a lot of
Missin' Lames doing the vague.
Yeah, the cartel's just cranking up Paralympics.
The meat...
Oh, you Chris Shetty fights, dude.
Alright, we don't need to see the rollouts.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, do they each have...
I'm all about it, actually.
Dude, the Chinese one?
Oh, they didn't kill him.
There's a Chinese...
That's what I'm like, they didn't just...
They didn't kill him.
Dude, no, they're like...
(48:07):
They're like scientifically creating their Paralympics.
Yeah, they're getting lapsed.
Yeah, there's no shot they have like any women,
parents, like athletes in the Paralympics from China, right?
Probably not.
I don't think...
That makes sense.
Yeah, they got them.
God damn.
That's dark.
They got them.
They're like a dark bro.
Alright, come on, dude.
Put them in the water.
(48:28):
Put them in, put them in.
Oh, fuck it.
No.
Listen up.
That's...
Wait, what?
This guy...
He's...
Oh, no, he's got a...
Wait, wait.
I don't know, that guy's needed no help so far.
He might have a huge dick.
That's his disability.
Everyone was freaking out about like...
Oh, that one, dude?
Well, the boxers and shit.
Well, they're like...
They're like...
They're like...
They're like...
They're like...
(48:49):
They're like...
They're like...
They're like...
They're like...
They're like...
There was like the pole vault or whatever.
Lane five is lit?
Is that his name?
Lane five is lit, dude?
Could you imagine?
Whoa!
Like saying you're like...
You identify as...
Did these boys...
Have?
Clogicalegic and...
You just crushed the fucking pair of lipsticks?
You just crushed the fucking pair of lipsticks?
(49:10):
Nah, we need to brood these guys.
Oh, shit, I should have...
I'm not...
I'm not...
I'm not funny.
Oh.
Well...
Hold on...
this. With the blast beats in
the background. This is a
(49:31):
tremendous.
Wow.
This is a word.
Strategy. Strategy.
That's a tremendous strategy.
That's a complicated way to
pull. Dude. Do they think, do
they, okay, do they do as many
as they can? I think they're
doing a lot of swimming. Yeah.
(49:52):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because it
seems like they really want to
show you each of these guys
unique swimming style. I do. I
might be amped up a little bit.
For sure. Where we at right now?
How long does it take them to get
to the wall? So they're doing
25. But it's an Olympic sized
pool. So I think one lap is a
50. Dude, that one's a wide
(50:14):
receiver, man. He got the world
of the world.
There's in the lead.
Lang Lang lit, dude.
Leete.
All right. Chop my fucking
leg off.
They're splashing each other.
They're having a little flash
wait. I have to hold them up, dude.
That's a normal dude. That guy's
(50:36):
rent. That guy's fucking jet.
China is cheating in the
Paralympics. Yeah, dude.
What? What?
Okay, so keep an eye on Lane.
Oh,
fucking
three, four. Keep the world record.
Keep an eye on Lane.
Four.
From the top.
(50:58):
It's fucking.
I actually want to see his role. There we go, buddy.
Lane four was who?
That guy.
Yeah, it was bogus. He's. Oh, it was that guy?
He's an army. He sprayed
some of that mist in his face, dude.
He just pants you like this.
This is a little bit great.
This guy's an Olympic
athlete. I'm not.
(51:20):
I know. I'd be playing the audio
to see what
is wrong. What are I doing wrong?
What conditions they have.
Being able-bodied in Americans.
But I don't want to
get copyrighted.
Dude, all right.
So what are you trying to figure?
You can't copyright the Paralympics, dude.
That just feels wrong.
(51:42):
I think
NBC can.
Unfortunately.
Oh, dude, fuck yeah, dude.
You know, big table tennis fucking.
Oh, we got to see this, dude. Do they use all mouth?
I
think some do. No arm
table tennis player.
They would whip my ass without arms.
They'll tape it to their shoulder.
(52:04):
So this is the
2020 Paralympics.
We got, it's called
no armed table tennis player
Ibrahim Hamad-Tau
against Park Hong-Q.
He's all two. It only talks about the
Egyptians.
He's all two.
21st minute round
of table tennis. I got all the
(52:26):
time to kill right now. Let's watch. I want to
see it from the top. No.
There's no highlight.
Bring back.
You're going to sweat, man. That's smart, dude. You don't want
to get the stuff that things. Is that the Egyptian?
Is that he was here?
He served for this foot. Please.
He's all forehead.
You've really, really got to want this
if you're doing this shit, dude.
(52:48):
Back here.
Wait, is that his opponent or I think that's his
coach.
Or they just have them play against
like a normal person.
How many times can you hit it back and forth?
I honestly think it might be a volley
volley experience.
No, this is just
Is that he puts spin on it?
Oh, you can tell this guy.
(53:10):
Wait, wait.
What's going on?
Did he beat him?
He's a gap drinking this coke with one hand.
Yeah, like, what
Olympic sport can you just swig a
coke in the middle of it? That doesn't.
Oh, so he's maybe he's the only
one.
All right. I think I figured out what's
going on with that.
(53:32):
Because this guy's clearly not
a
a paraplegic or a
He's just so much
he's just the janitor
and said play this guy.
I think I'm theorizing
that there's not very many
paraplegic table tennis players
in the world.
So
(53:54):
to I know it's a big
plan with a lot of people.
So to just have this gentleman
this Egyptian gentleman compete
they just like
threw in a fucking
Japanese team. What's the barrier
for getting into the Paralympics?
Can you just
write me like a prescription for my glasses
that's really high and be like
(54:16):
I'm in now? I think a
paraplegic means like I think that
honestly I mean so this guy is like
like missing like extremities.
Is that it? But so like but what if you're just
missing your eye? What happens if you got gout
really bad?
Where's the what's the barrier for entry?
He's living legend.
Yeah. Yeah.
(54:38):
I don't think the uh
Oh hold on here. You always gotta go to the comments
actually.
Hamad too
the Egyptian gentleman that serves with his foot
and plays with his mouth. Tells the
ball girl to go sit behind the Korean player
because he has a knee disability
and it's hard for him to move
and retrieve the ball behind him when it falls.
What? That's an act.
(55:00):
So
the barrier for entry my boy without even having to
Google. You got a bum knee
to compete in the Paralympics
is like yeah I got that. I got a wonky knee dude
I mean and you get your
ass kicked by a dude that plays with his
fucking mouth. Yeah.
It's a mad knee you know what I mean.
Oh shit I forgot. Ah damn it.
I forgot the breakfast meats.
(55:22):
I
got a little bit of
I got you a little thing of
gonna be that. Armour all
Vienna Wieners or no fuck yeah
dude that's at home.
Justin I got you a mini spam. Is this the blade runners.
Yes.
Yeah dude this I mean that is
that's technology right there. It's sick.
It's sick. It's fast. They're fast.
(55:44):
They're like they're like faster.
It's just like
do that again.
I
have a bum heel and it's
it's been hurting me for
fucking over a year
at this point now. Lop it off.
It's gout. A pig foot
pig leg. I don't think you really get gout
in your heel. I think it's only in like your joints.
(56:06):
Yes definitely.
Now I think I got a bone spur.
You got a bone spur.
And you're running for profit. Grind it down.
Yeah I'm tell I'm how are you
going to compete against JFK's
fucking brain worm with a fucking
bone spur. They dropped out.
He cowered out. But dude
weird shit they're refusing it
to take him off the ballot in certain states.
(56:28):
Because of yeah
because they're trying to ban Trump.
You probably already got him printed.
Because they need to have more.
Because those states have to have
you have to have more than one person on the ballot.
You know what I mean so they have to put
RFK because those are the
those are the guys that are like trying to ban
fucking Trump from being on the ballot.
There's states that are trying to do that.
(56:50):
Like oh yeah I remember seeing like
Colorado was. Yeah they're like they're like you came
and like you're not leaving.
You mean RFK. No no no
this was for that's why
they want to keep him on
the ballot even though he rescinded
it because they have they don't
want they already said they don't want to have
Trump on the ballot.
I don't understand that's very unconstitutional
(57:12):
what are you talking about.
It happened during the primary.
This is a rabbit hole.
I'm not trying to be bro Trump
but they literally like I think it was
Colorado and one other
state I think it was it wasn't New
Hampshire it was one of the New England states that
literally said that Trump wasn't
allowed to be on the ballot. That sounds like a Vermont
thing.
(57:34):
I gotta look that up.
Fact check dude.
Good chat GPT. I think they got it.
Why would it be
why would it be to
fucking
you get what you pay for dog.
Can you stop breathing
directly in the mic.
No.
I don't like it dude.
(57:56):
Tickle boiled
Tickle boiled
Tickle boiled
Tickle boiled
Tickle boiled
Now we'll go to that.
Go to Truth
Truth Central
Colorado Supreme Court
declares Donald Trump is ineligible for the White House.
How does one state
(58:18):
determine that?
Because anyone can just do whatever the fuck they want.
Dude they're fucking they have you can eat mushrooms
there dude like you can smoke some weed
about it you can not.
The Constitution
is right dude they they went I mean
okay I see what they're doing.
That's why
well they called on the
they considered themselves sovereign
(58:40):
state.
They went full sovereign citizen.
You never go full sovereign citizen.
They went at a DUI
checkpoint like rolled their window down just
in a slander ID in the window they were like
dude
how do you get those sovereign citizen IDs?
Dude we should get some.
Yeah that's absolutely.
I think you can get them at Angler's
(59:02):
state.
I'm sure we could get some printed.
We'll use the CD printer.
It says I am a sovereign citizen.
Just like I'll take your U-Pin library.
Dude they have their own license plates too.
See if you can pull one of those off.
Oh that one was
a custom license plate.
Yeah just like I am paying no fucking taxes.
You're like okay man.
(59:24):
I'm off the grid.
Well yeah no I mean.
I'll put it in post it's gonna take like 90 more minutes.
Yeah whatever yeah this is welcome to like
we Google shit for 30 minutes portion of the
podcast.
There's no wifi connection down here.
It's not really about the wifi.
Oh dude what's it about?
We're just like googling like.
So you're not a fan of this portion of the podcast?
(59:46):
It's just there's a lot of downtime.
And opposed to.
So it's just riffing.
The riff's good.
The riffs are tight.
Give me a riff.
Cue to the jam.
Perfect.
(01:01:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:01:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:01:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:02:24):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:02:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:03:20):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:03:48):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:04:16):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:04:44):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:05:12):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:05:40):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:06:08):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:06:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:07:04):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:07:32):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:08:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:08:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:08:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:09:24):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:09:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:10:20):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:10:48):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:11:16):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:11:44):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:12:12):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:12:40):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:13:08):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:13:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:14:04):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:14:32):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:15:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:15:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:15:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:16:24):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:16:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:17:20):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:17:48):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:18:16):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:18:44):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:19:12):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:19:40):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:20:08):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:20:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:21:04):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:21:32):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:22:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:22:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:22:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:23:24):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:23:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:24:20):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:24:48):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:25:16):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:25:44):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:26:12):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:26:40):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:27:08):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:27:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:28:04):
Yeah.
(01:28:30):
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:29:08):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:29:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:30:04):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:30:32):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:31:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:31:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:31:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:32:24):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:32:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Swap Swap Swap Swap Swap
(00:08):
Dude we got to like record that and just hide it in the shadows in people's houses
Get up to piss in the middle of the night, you walk around just hear that coming from under the couch
How do you get that low dude? You got such a high-pitched speaking voice. How do you get that low?
(00:29):
I dropped my balls out of my fucking balls.
Dude I got a fucking tiny brain.
What are you thinking of doing?
You got to let it rest.
Is it a diaphragm?
I got a fucking small fram dude.
Peter Framton.
I'm a big farmer.
Big farmer dude.
Or big farmer.
I got a little more.
(00:53):
Yeah what the hell?
Hell yeah.
Heavy riffs.
You're listening to bitch FF.
(01:18):
What road do we take up here?
Route 50?
95.
This is the route most people tell.
97 baby.
You take 50 to 97 or 95.
Come on up and stay in that thing.
We got a traffic out there.
We got a bitch FF.
Check it out on that traffic all over after the tubes.
We got a bunch of yapping.
We got some driving.
(01:39):
We're going to be talking at you for a while.
We got your drive coming home.
It's like a deli baby.
92 cute bitch FF.
Broadcasting from the Heavy Riffs Studios.
Hell yeah dude.
Arbitis.
Arbitis Maryland.
Arbitis.
(02:01):
Arbitis or Arbitis?
It's definitely Arbitis.
It's Arbitis.
Because it's Arbitis.
Arbitis.
It's Arbitis.
Don't argue with me dude.
Yeah she FF.
Thank you for tuning in.
Bye bye.
They really need an Arbitis up here.
(02:23):
The Arbitis Arbitis.
I don't.
How's Arbitis doing?
Bad.
Arbitis owns everything now.
They're like no one's actually going to eat Arbitis.
So we're just going to buy everything else.
They're the umbrella corporates.
That's a smooth move on there.
Because they didn't have much.
They had the meats but let's be honest.
(02:45):
They were terrible meats.
The meat mountain put them out of commission.
I just a lot of things dude.
Remember they were doing like five for five.
A dollar piece.
Now it's like if you give us five bucks we'll like
we'll think about giving you some nuggets or something.
We'll give you the Arbitis sauce.
Do they still have the slider deal?
Dude after 2pm shit?
We'll have a happy hour.
(03:07):
That's kind of cool.
I would be stoked about it.
There's no such thing as bargains anymore dude.
Bargains are done.
Dude this fucking bit about the autistic piss
having a Bufo Tenen in it or whatever.
What is that?
It's like the
Poison Toad DMT shit.
Bufin Tannings?
Have you ever seen this?
(03:29):
Autistic piss.
Oh yeah the Bufin Tannings.
Yeah the Buf.
These kids are eating like
buffed up fucking frogs.
Pissing and turning.
Frogs are turning the kids autistic dude.
I knew it.
I've been petting frogs.
I'm giggling autistic piss.
Autistic piss.
(03:51):
Oh here we go.
We just found it.
We've been known about this.
Today we're hiding it.
It's the auties in the schizos.
TIL that some autism patients
excrete the same toxin in their urine
that hallucinogenic toads have on their skin.
Dude let's get my piss.
My piss.
Dude stop touching toads man.
(04:13):
I'm gonna piss in a cup
and we're all gonna drink it
and we start tripping.
I don't know man.
My doctor was right.
You should try distilling your piss dude.
Bro I'm gonna fucking
be one of them piss drinkers.
I'm sure that's MGD dude.
Wait is this why people drink their piss all the time?
(04:33):
They're just tripping balls.
Fucking dude.
Licking.
It's a lot easier to
basically an infinite supply of
hallucinogens instead of going around running around trying to find
hallucinogenic toads.
Where's I doing at 13 dude?
Why am I eating all those fucking
little cough drops?
What are those things like?
(04:55):
Triple C's.
I could just drink piss from frogs and I would have been
god damn signed.
I think it's a very specific frog.
Oh shit. I forgot the fucking mushroom gum.
It's PSA. You might die.
I forgot the mushroom gum.
It's a Thursday.
It's Thursday before Labor Day weekend.
True.
Believe in science dude.
(05:17):
So it's 4 ECHO yeah?
4 ECHO DMT? Yeah it's one of those.
Did you take them yet?
I tried one.
Instant anxiety.
This is not feel good.
Did you start seeing trails? Cause I did it like a long
fucking. No I just got
like antsy.
And they have
they taste horrible. It puts you on the edge
(05:39):
of about to trip but it never gets there.
I feel like I gotta eat
three more of them. You're just like constantly coming up.
That's terrible.
I never want that. That tense feeling
right before you release.
You never pass it dude.
I'll just be like hey okay.
He's amping up until and then it just stops.
He starts sweating a little bit and everything feels
damp and you're just excited and wet.
(06:01):
Not into it dude. I don't need to try him. Thank you for
being a guinea pig and trying. Yeah you know I
figure we'll do it next time.
We'll save for next time.
I'm coming tomorrow. Oh yeah you had a terrible time.
Let's fucking send it. Let's fucking send it.
Let's just misery love. I've already
slipped like three of them to Tyler. I
didn't know it was crazy.
Oh, acetyl silosin.
It's a semi-synthetic psychoactive drug
(06:23):
that has been suggested
by David Nichols to be a
potentially useful alternative to
silosin. David Nichols there you go.
For a form of
ecological studies as they are both believed
to be pro-drugs of
the
formula C14 H18 and 202
other names are for
acetyl-toxy-n and dimethyl tryptamine
(06:45):
32 dimethylamin
and the off-the-ethyl
for acetyl-toxy-n-doli.
Dude it says, what does it say?
Roots of administration
oral. Something
an anal. It said rectal or no rectal.
Oh we're booping the gum.
On the bottom right there at the bottom.
Oh lots of administration. Oral IV.
What does it say? Oral IV?
(07:07):
It says oral IV.
IV dude.
What does it say? Interracial
intranasal.
Intranasal so you can
snort it. Oh he's
iriterate. You can eat it. You can shoot it
or you can boof it.
Dude honestly it sounds like a good time.
We can try anything once right?
Well so you didn't have any luck eating it
(07:29):
so we'll try out the three other ways.
I'll shoot it. I'm boofing it dude.
And you're snorting it.
I'm going for the boof dude. Jamming a gummy up my fucking head.
I'll boof dude.
I'll boof dude.
You didn't sit there with a gummy bear in your asshole dude.
It's like what does that smell?
Dude why does it smell
fruity and yet shitty? It smells like ass and blue
raspberry. What the fuck is it?
(07:51):
Blue raspberry baby. Someone's squeezing a beaver.
You know what? Beavers have like
they have an anal gland which is where they get like
raspberry flavor from. Yeah.
Oh shit. Yeah.
I think it's also part of
the cologne and perfumes as well.
Yeah dude it's fucking crazy.
It's like a bizarre thing.
They're like no more amber greys.
(08:13):
We're out of whales. Get the beavers.
How much for echo did you put in my hand?
Not enough fun.
I'm pretty sure there was a place in like near
Edgewater called like for echoes.
It was like a day camp. There was Arlington Echo.
Gas stations definitely.
It was big when Spice was a fucking
rig of maroo
to run around. Oh dude Spice is not nice.
Dude what's this new thing Moon Rocks?
(08:35):
Have you seen Moon Rocks?
Oh let's get it around. I've been a dude
for sassafras. No no no no no
not that. It's a weed thing.
So it's like a nugget of
weed that's like rolled
in like no it's rolled
in like THC oil
or some sort of concentration. You're just getting too hot man.
And then it's like covered in like
keef and it's like
(08:57):
it's the gnarliest thing you smoke
and it's like a Faberge egg.
It's a, there's a lot of
layers to it man. It's like a Moon Rock.
But yeah it looks bizarre and it gets you
really stoned and. A lot of sativa.
You ruin your day is what happens dude.
It's just a day
ruin or you smoke a little bit of that.
You're just nothing else is getting done for the day dude.
You're on the moon dude. You're on the moon.
(09:18):
Buckle up.
Dude sign me out dude.
I'm not a big fan dude. I'm just into like
smoking regular dad weed now dude.
Like all the dude. People are starting
to do that. You know we've been talking about it
for a long time. We miss the fucking
train man. Dad weed is tight dude.
I take it. It was a brand. There's a brand called
bad weed. Yeah and that's like their thing is like
oh what else. We make weak ass weed dude.
(09:40):
We're about to step dad weed dude.
Give me that. Just a little angry.
Just make you a little pissed.
Little pissy. It's like nicer car.
Yeah.
Just way better at fucking
banging your mom.
Like good dick.
Yeah. How.
How. How.
How.
(10:02):
I've been eating.
I've been taking 10 milligrams splitting them
into fours and eating like a quarter right
before bed. It's tight dude. It's a quarter
of 10. Oh edibles.
Yeah two and a half. Two and a half. Yeah.
See and I did that without common
cord dude. Dude yeah.
All your new parents out there get your kids
to do math. You.
(10:24):
Send them to us.
Send your children to us. Send them to Bish
University. We're going to teach them how to read.
They're going to read. They're going to do math
even more. Bish U.D.
We're coming at you. Bish University.
We're open for tuition.
Bish FM is. Dude.
Wait. Why aren't we a charity?
Graduated to.
We are a for-profit college.
(10:46):
I'm so fucking literally dude. Welcome to
Bish University where the grass is
blue. The teacher is high.
And your boys got nothing but
fucking
not common core math coming
at you. We got a bunch of
tunes to be fucking
it's a tuition
is very affordable dude.
It's about a plan. It's about
(11:08):
$10,000 a month. So you know
go meet with your banker. Bish
University.
We have a 30 year plan for our university.
30 years look at the mortgage.
Bish University.
Bish University.
It's going to take you 30 years to
learn how to do basic math.
Bish University.
That was all the legalese you know.
(11:30):
Yeah that was good.
It's actually a tremendous job on
the side. Just like a drug
commercials.
Speaking of that.
Bish Pharmaceuticals.
We are in business.
Bish Pharmaceuticals.
We got the laughing guys coming.
Bish Pharmaceuticals coming at you.
I'm called that. You got a Bish
(11:52):
tonight. Oh usually around
this part right here.
This is where the trip gets a little scary
dude. So you know we got your landing gear
for you as well. We got Bish
landing gear. Bish Pharmaceuticals.
2020
Bish Pharmaceuticals.
I'll be held liable for you. Copyright.
Results may vary.
Pharmaceuticals.
(12:14):
Results may vary. That's a good one.
Tickle dialer.
Tickle dialer. Tickle dialer.
Tickle dialer. Tickle dialer.
I'm very ticklish.
You tickle me dude.
We're going to tickle you with your
minds. Tickle dialer.
You guys tickle me.
A boy pisses pants dude. You don't want to see
a grown man pisses pants. I mean
(12:36):
it's always entertaining.
That's kind of sad right.
You're like I don't know. It depends on how old
the guy is. If it's a dude
like if the dude's like
20
to 40 mid 40s
it's hilarious. Tickle on a grown ass
man is a. I had multiple
room. Wild boob. That would get wasted and like
piss in the living room. On the couch
(12:58):
that's the worst dude. You're like hey bro
but you there you can't talk to it.
There's no sense to piss on a lawn. It's got to be
the worst when you become like a known
couch pisser. Dude
could you imagine being like known
for that. You have a reputation
for pissing the couch. Like your boys
would be counting your
beers. No no no he sleeps
on the floor. Outside.
(13:20):
No that's what it is. Why are we always
sitting outside partying. It's
25 degrees out.
Why do I wake up out of bed every morning
dude. Because
you pissed on a lot of couch. You pissed on
a boy. You pissed on my dog last night.
He's not a little happy about it. Territorial
pissing around here. We don't deal with
that around here. It's a little nirvana
reference.
(13:42):
RPM dude. RPM
dude. RPM Kurt.
If he dies you don't fuck
up that one B. because it probably
this podcast might come out.
You always call it dude. I do. You got
to watch your tongue bro. Dude we can't
lose Kurt. You got to watch.
Yeah I need Kurt around for a while.
(14:04):
Oh what a tremendous
of bit boys. I love that dude.
Speaking of tremendous.
It's been a while boys. It has been a while.
It's been a while.
We're getting a little silly. I love having
you guys around town. Thank you for joining us tonight.
You're welcome dude.
I'm bummed out.
Because
(14:26):
we're not enjoying
a tremendous meal together right now.
You could have had some of that pizza.
I understand that.
No free advertising.
No I would never advertise that.
You know what.
It was kind. It was kind. It was a
great gesture on your end.
I'm not a big
zahga right now dude. Because it's been
(14:48):
giving me a lot of ass reinforcements. Getting the burns.
Yeah I got the GERD. I got GAUT.
Which side do you sleep on?
Both. I'm a baisaj.
I'm a baisaj.
I'm a baisaj.
I just don't enjoy sleeping.
I move around a lot.
You don't enjoy sleeping?
I can anymore dude.
You gotta start taking the melatonin.
(15:10):
You'll get over the nightmares.
You gotta push. It's the fucking meth.
It's the meth. It's great dude.
You don't eat a lot.
And um...
You're like fucking bagel bites dude.
So if we do...
If we honestly start fish farm suitable.
Fish suitable?
The thing is I...
I mean him's...
(15:32):
Bish sounds like a pharmaceutical company to begin with.
Bish.
I can see the lettering.
You guys shut me down.
Are we trying to sell prescriptions?
I still haven't written down.
Dick pills.
We specialize in boner pills dude.
No I had that whole idea for the
nitrous therapy
place.
(15:54):
Where you go in. It's like a
dinner. But you got rooms.
That's a wellness center. We're talking about a
pill factory dude.
We need scientists in stock photos.
Sounds like a...
So when I was leaving
I was just looking
for new positions and shit.
And of course I put it all on there.
It was like monster.com and all this shit.
(16:16):
All these recruiters would call me and
they're like you should sell medical supplies
and then I would like get a call
and I would start an interview process and all this dumb shit.
And then they were like
I've never heard of this company and then I would
Google it obviously.
Research and be like what is this website?
And it just obviously like
stock images of like red nose.
And it was just like I'm like they are not
(16:38):
doing this. They're just selling
fentanyl.
It was the most weird
process I've ever
gone through. And like honest to
God it was
so weird because
I feel like the way the pay structure
and all that shit was crazy.
And they're like yeah just keep selling more of it.
What was it?
(17:00):
It was pharmaceutical sales but like when I was
this was like when I was leaving.
Dude I had it. I had them on leash.
I was like I'm going to be
I was going to be big pharma dude.
Dude I was dude.
You get a tattoo that just says big pharma.
Big pharma.
You finally got your nickname.
I was wrestling named.
(17:20):
Big pharma dude.
Big pharma.
Big pharma.
It's like big fat pharma.
No.
No ph.
No clothing company.
That was.
Yes.
What's the movie? Did fish start that?
Yeah it was called like the heavy weights.
(17:42):
Heavy weights.
That's a fantastic.
Queue it up.
Yeah fat pharma is a clothing company.
That's basically what the movie is about a fat farm.
It's a fat camp dude.
Dude the derogatory term is fat farm man.
It's true.
I'm a huge fan of Ben Stiller.
Oh.
We got Ben Stiller.
(18:04):
I was like
I was just going to like
That's the end of the podcast.
I'm a big fan of Ben Stiller.
Well talking about fish pharmaceuticals.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
We have fish therapies.
Fish Therapies LLC is a unique
and innovative therapy center that provides
Client GPT baby with a temporary
(18:26):
but intense feeling of happiness through the
use of happy gas.
A carefully formulated blend of gases
combined with Bish music
a custom designed auditory experience
that enhances feelings joy and relaxation.
With 10 beautifully
decorated therapy rooms Bish
Therapies offers a comfortable
and safe environment for clients
to experience a scientifically
(18:48):
proven method to boost happiness.
Results me there.
Mission Statements
to bring joy and happiness to people
in a safe and comfortable setting
providing them with a temporary escape
from the stresses of daily life
are vision statements to become a leading
provider of innovative therapy experiences
that enhance mental well-being
(19:10):
and bring positivity to people's lives.
The services offered at Bish Therapies
offer a unique happiness therapy experience
that combines. How long is this?
It's as long as it needs to be, dude.
Happy Gases, special blend of
gases including safe levels
of nitrous oxide designed to induce
temporary euphoria and relaxation.
Bish Music is a custom designed
soundtrack composed with uplifting
(19:32):
and positive elements to enhance
the feeling of happiness. Each
therapy session includes a private well-decorated
room with comfortable seating and calming
aesthetics. A designated therapy professional
industry safety and manage
the happy gas music. A 30 minute
session with flexible options
for longer sessions during which clients
are guided through a relaxation process
and then enjoy the happy gas Bish Music experience.
(19:54):
And then a debriefing session
post therapy to ensure the clients well-being
discuss any aftercare tips.
You know,
Bish Therapies
cannot be held
viable for any
digging around
the basement that you may do in your mental
facilities. And
if you cross over to the other side, we hope
(20:16):
you figure something out about yourself.
Grab some panties. Hello from the other side.
We'll play that. So yeah, if we really
start... If your insurance bounces,
basically, I'm pretty sure we can...
Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare!
Here, imagine...
Here, have some of these gummies, put them in your ass.
Honestly, that would be sick if we could just start a church
instead of a therapy
(20:38):
process. Dude, the first church of Bish,
you can buy a church. You can buy a church.
We don't have to get anything. You can buy a church
real cheap, dude. Old churches, they're selling them
like bottom-barrel prices.
Hotcakes!
Hotcakes, baby! We can have a pancake
social, dude.
Pancakes? It sounds sticky.
It is. It is. It is. It's a sticky situation.
Sounds great. It sounds great. You get like
(21:00):
a couple pancakes. Dude, I used to do them.
When I was a Boy Scout, when I was a lad,
we used to literally do pancake dinners.
Oh, yeah. At the church.
Or spaghetti, or the spaghetti.
Yeah, or the spaghetti, yeah. We did both.
But the pancake dinners was a better hit.
Oh, always, dude.
People came in, in tropes.
I don't know how they did this, but they would always have
that spaghetti. They would have the sauce
(21:22):
that's dry. You know what I'm talking about?
The dry spaghetti sauce?
Yeah! How do they do that?
Ask NASA, dude.
Dude, it's fucking... It's painless.
It just tastes like tin.
Was it like MRE?
Yeah, it still tastes like metal.
Yeah, it's like metallic, and there's no moisture.
It's just dry chunks of tomato.
It's painless. Clinging to the noodle, though.
(21:44):
It is stuck to that thing. It's not coming off.
It's a great vessel, dude. It's a great sauce vessel.
But the dagger is...
Yeah, you're right. It was heinous.
And no one ever cooked in fucking noodles all the way through.
No, no, no.
People didn't come for spaghetti.
Or they're way overcooked.
They just experienced way overcooked.
I like how they usually way overcooked.
Of course, no.
(22:06):
Wet noodles dry sauce.
I'm writing that down for the memory big.
Wet noodles dry sauce.
That is a weird one. I would do dry noodles wet sauce.
Well, that's how...
You would think that's what it would be, but...
Yeah, no fucking shit. This is what they're giving.
The fuck?
I would do wet noodles no sauce.
No sauce you just want.
How do you feel about buttered noodles?
(22:28):
You know, buttered noodles are great.
It's garlic, absolutely.
Buttermilk with salt and pepper because
we didn't have the highbrow shit as a child.
Egg noodles, though.
If I'm going that route, egg noodles that way.
Fuck your German.
Yeah.
Beef shirmin' off.
My mom's name is Niederstadt.
I don't like this.
(22:50):
Is it good, sir?
Yeah, it looks like you're struggling.
It's got holes and chants aerodynamic.
Dude, your back's probably not sweating.
I mean, it's a nice...
It's a trash chair, ladies and gentlemen.
Gentlemen, mainly.
It's a trash chair. Dude, I've got a whole bit going about...
He's a trash man.
Trash days in rich neighborhoods
is fucking really cool.
(23:12):
Tyler is broke as fuck. Please send him some.
Correct.
Facebook just monetized the Mountain Wolf page.
A little plug. If you want to come in, it's only 99 cents a month.
I need him to stop bringing cat piss chairs
into the recordings.
So I got this $300 chair pro bono.
I got a fucking $1,200 kayak pro bono.
And I got like a $500 propane grill pro bono.
So trash days in the...
It's amazing what you can get for free
(23:34):
when it's covered in cat piss.
One man's trash is a Tyler's fortune, dude.
Dude, I'm a very...
It's a great come up, dude.
No, I mean, honestly, God, that's in...
It's in great shape. People throw shit out.
Just a little gaff tape? Dude, you said gaff tape fixes anything.
Dude, I can't wait until you have
like three rusted junkers on your lawn.
Dude, you need my cars?
Yeah, dude.
(23:56):
I'll fix it one day.
Yeah, it's good as new.
I fixed the fucking grill.
I think rips.
It's ripping and you're burning shit.
I fixed the kayak.
The kayak's great, dude.
That's a great come up, dude.
And I gaff taped this one little tear.
It didn't smell like cat piss too much.
There's more of like a baby
(24:18):
sense of piss to it.
But I cleaned it.
Tyler, are we going to have to do the fucking
blind piss test piss sniff test?
I want to see if you can get over it.
Where are you going to procure pisses?
I mean, cat, that might...
Dog piss easy.
Dog piss is easy, yeah.
It's all over my house.
We know people with kids who have been like,
(24:40):
save some of your kids' piss.
Yeah, just a little piss.
We got weird friends over there.
No questions.
Oh yeah, he's got a new job.
That's right, he does need some piss.
He needs as clean as it can be.
I got a second cousin that's like two years old.
I'm sure I can grab a little piss out of that polly.
I'm sure I can grab a little piss out of that polly.
I'm sure I can grab a little piss out of that polly.
(25:02):
Just scare him.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I am.
Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare.
That would be awesome.
That's goals to be that uncle
that just...
just like to like scar the kids by like being like,
just be like, yeah, he used to scare the shit out of me.
He used to jump out and like try to bite me and shit.
(25:24):
And if you come here...
He did bite me one time.
Come over here.
Hide in the shadows.
I wish I could.
I can't do that.
Come over here right now.
Come over here right now.
I just want to make a movie out of this.
I do it like I'm okay.
You're the you're the uncle.
(25:46):
I'm the nephew.
Hey, Uncle Justin, what's up?
What you want little bitch?
Uncle, you called me over into this weird dark room.
Oh, that's because I was trying to get you to give me a fucking beer.
Oh, okay.
I thought like maybe you had a drug test coming up.
This ain't hot. Go seek, young boy.
I figured...
Son's way too familiar with drugs.
I'm not sure.
(26:08):
I'm not sure.
Son's way too familiar for you, dude.
I thought you were going to ask me for like, you know, my urine.
No, not today, baby.
We don't need that piss room, dude.
Okay, well, I'm going to go back and play with fucking Dr.
Get that piss room, big boy.
Oh, you said you do?
Okay.
You imagine, though, if I was that guy.
Sounds like you're hard, man.
(26:30):
That's really good.
Dude, that's my side problem.
That's our good deal.
You're going to start doing background vocals.
I should be mouth...
I should do mouth and for like...
You should mouth off, dude.
What's a call when you're like a mouther only?
I think it's called...
I think that's just called like a...
A voice actor. That's a hooker, dude.
(26:52):
That is, yeah.
When you're only doing mouth work.
Hell of a blow job, dude.
Speaking of that, can I get a beer, dude?
I fucked up.
Actually, I got a...
Yeah, I got it.
Yeah, let's take a break.
Let's go back to
Bish Therapies, LLC.
Dude.
(27:14):
Do they really have it?
(27:44):
Yeah, the caverns on the coming across.
You know I lie, living in them caves.
And this shit sounds like it's coming home.
(28:08):
Yeah, my balls kind of tired.
But you know I'm not a motherfucking smart guy.
Yeah, I lie, living in them caves.
(28:30):
Yeah, I lie, living in them caverns.
Like crawling with us to lag behind.
Like crawling with us to lag behind.
Like crawling with us to lag behind.
(28:58):
But I guess some of the problems go down.
Sit down!
Here's a problem.
What is happening here?
I don't know, dude.
Hot hands.
(29:20):
Hot hands in the dice game.
You can get like a 30 pack for like 15 bucks.
If we are back, Bish FM, radio break.
Wait, we're FM?
Bish FM sounds a lot better than Bish AM.
Bish AM!
The primitive Bish.
(29:46):
Bish BC.
Don't die from the hands.
Spicy.
Well, it's actually hands.
Hams has a sweetness to it.
It does. It definitely has that shitty beer sweetness.
Oh yeah, dude. They had to add that just to be like,
it's got rot.
Let's trick them into thinking it's corn beer.
It's rice beer. It's got to be rice beer.
(30:08):
It's got great branding.
Dude, the logo is beautiful.
I like the two M's.
They have like Hams.
It reminds me of like a title card from an old cartoon from the 50's, man.
Yeah, exactly.
For me, this looks like this is a bowling alley beer for sure.
Like you, you know what I mean?
It's an old Fursetta.
(30:30):
Dude, it looks like it's meant to be drunk at bowling alley.
It's literally like this is a bowling alley beer, dude.
I'm a gutter ball.
I like a cold beer.
I like me a cold beer.
Sometimes I like...
Beer can is definitely more expensive than a full can.
Bro, let's get on the selling empty car.
(30:52):
This is retro and it's like, we're drinking this one.
Yeah, I have literally put that up in the camera.
It's the same. It's the same can. It's the retro look.
Two bucks.
Dude, empty beer cans is a whole fucking ordeal.
Dude, yeah.
That's the move.
We could corner the market in here, dude.
I would say if you recycle it in a certain state, what you get for it, like five cents or something.
(31:17):
It says...
What you see? It's what you get.
I think you make a lot more money selling it on...
Oh yeah, like Michigan and shit, probably.
I hate to be that guy. There's a Seinfeld episode about this.
Is there?
Yeah, I remember that one.
Yeah, Kramer and Newman stock up on cans and drive all the way to Michigan or something.
And they lose like tons of money.
It's far as fuck away.
(31:38):
Yeah, and there's the gas mileage.
There's... they didn't have a hybrid.
Hold on, breaking news. There's a whole cult with a secret...
Cult of Hams.
Secret handshake?
No shit.
We're going to a website called Hop Culture.
This is probably going to be pretty gay.
This is some deep dive shit.
Anyone whose entire personality is cheap beer are interesting people.
(32:04):
Was that an ad for PBR?
Correct.
They're in the shtick, dude.
This whole website is in character.
Well, they're all in cahoots.
PBR pretty much owns all these little boys.
It's like Arby's.
Arby's owns all that shit, dude.
The PBR is the Arby's.
PBRB's, dude.
Okay, so Murphy's Johnson is the co-founder and director of Creative and Product Development and Vive.
(32:32):
Is the black swan of string just six miles away from Hams original song.
It's a location where they can't disclose because it's from Paul Bruins.
And in modern Tevlin's...
Parlance is...
God damn you, a weaponized dyslexia.
And if you know, you know.
(32:54):
I'm so proud of you for reading for the first time on the podcast.
But god damn, you weren't lying. You can't read good.
You're so big, dude.
My letters are too big.
You also just skipped like the sentence that set up everything.
You just started at Murphy's John.
Because that's a cool name.
My name is...
Can you imagine?
(33:16):
My name is Murphy Johnson.
You gotta be a porn star.
So I was trying to just find anything interesting in this article and I couldn't.
Luckily Justin...
So I'm never reading anything off the computer.
I'm a reader, dude. I'm really good at reading.
Can we just...actually this is...can we have a new segment?
Justin Reeds, dude.
(33:38):
Dude, the words are pretty big, dude.
Stings or hot shots.
Hot shots? One shot.
I don't read the N-word, dude. So don't play that one up there.
Guess what?
I should put that one on there, dude, just as a bit.
This is funny. See what happens.
I like the opening monologue from like...Grapes of Wrath.
(34:01):
Read by Justin Miller.
I don't know what's it...what's it a Tale of Two Cities or whatever.
Any of the...
What's the one that was the best of times?
Yeah.
Just any great American fucking novel.
Any Steinbeck. I just need like a synopsis from...
Justin...read by Justin Miller.
Let's see if we can find...Grapes of Wrath.
(34:22):
Dude, I want you to read the Gettysburg address.
Alright.
We'll do that.
That would probably be easier to pull up for free, right?
That's a miracle.
I'm pretty sure, dude.
Yeah, you pay your taxes, dude. That is fucking...
You pay for it, dude. This is paid advertising by doing taxes and all things.
Lincoln was all about free, dude. That guy was all about free.
Lucky for you, I found the smallest text available.
(34:45):
I think it's Bible print.
And I'm not gonna...
Oh, fuck, dude. He's not gonna be able to read that.
Yeah, I can.
That's just the problem.
Alright, here we go.
It's at the stage. It is 18 something.
1863, I think.
This is Lincoln giving his famous Gettysburg address.
(35:12):
Lincoln, alright.
Just try and read it normal, dude.
Okay, I am. Four score and seven years ago,
fathers brought forth on converses,
conceived in liberty and dedicated to proposions
that all men created equal.
(35:34):
God damn, you're good.
Now we are engaged in great civil war,
testing whether or not these Native Americans
can conquer the dedicated and can long endure.
We may be grateful, but battlefields are the war, dude.
(35:55):
We have come in on delicate portions.
The final resting place of who gave all these nations might life.
It is all together farming.
This is just as good as time.
(36:16):
Alright, hold up.
You're putting me in the ring, dude. This is a hard one.
I'm proud of you, man.
Dude, no, it's too close, dude.
Oh, yes, sir.
You're a...
I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there.
Thank you for reading Justin's corners.
I think that's reading in corners for Justin.
So important announcement. We decided that every fucking candidate is a dingus.
(36:39):
So Justin's running for president now.
36, officially announcing my fourth party.
You're hankled 20, 20, 20, 20.
Who's that retard kid you were talking about that was doing dinosaurs and shit?
Oh, dude, I don't know. He might be dead.
You're talking about that guy.
That was a dinosaur documentary from the 90s. He was counting bones.
(37:01):
Was he old then?
He was like maybe... It's hard to tell with them.
They don't age, dude. They might be a little...
He could have been like 50.
I want that guy.
I'll see what I can do.
Dude, I like people being cool, man.
I'm not gonna hankle.
Oh, yeah, dude. That was my second one.
(37:22):
Yeah, that was...
Q-Up, put the sign up. Show everybody.
Q-Up on.
Yep, there we go.
Q-Up.
Four score and four years ago, me and Tuck, my boy, we decided long ago
that alas, we must join forces and not cause hate.
(37:45):
Nor should we announce this too late.
For in 2024, my boy Tucker and I officially announced
our candidacy for president of the United States.
Miller Tunkle.
Dude, this is...
By the time this gets edited and released, it's gonna be the day after election day.
(38:08):
When is it? Is it November still? They still do this?
It's like the first Tuesday of November.
Keep going. There you go, Justin.
As I've walked through the valley in the shadows of death,
I asked two questions.
Why do we do this?
And why must you vote?
We are creating the world's greatest America.
(38:31):
The Shell Corporation will never be so strong.
For today, I announced 2024, my candidacy for presidency.
And alongside me, I appoint as my running mate,
a one Tucker, Henkel, and together we are Miller Henkel, 24.
(38:55):
USA, America, yay.
USA, USA.
All right, fuck that, dude.
Results my very...
Keep going, keep going.
Dude, I like the American flag. It made me so fucking fired up.
No wonder Trump gets fired up around this shit, dude.
(39:20):
Yeah, dude. It's like these fucking...
Dude, you just feel like spouting off words when you see that thing.
Oh, dude, no, I feel like I should be like piss drunk,
barely make it... I don't even make it into the fucking NASCAR race, dude.
I'm fucking hanging and banging in the fucking car, dude.
Windows down.
Dude, that's the campaign slogan.
(39:42):
Dude, Windows down.
Hanging and banging in the car.
Dude, Windows down is tight, dude.
All right.
Results my very...
When I was just Miller, I don't approve this message.
Seriously, if you vote for me, I'll be pretty stepped on.
Dude, do fart it.
(40:04):
I've never farted there.
I ever smelled the Delta.
Dude, should we play...
That's a bullshit fucking thing of all time.
Where do you guys vote? You guys go to like...
Dude, I feel like you vote at two places, a school or like a library.
Dude, Tyler, what the fuck?
Why doesn't this just play an election day?
Is it that cheese? I don't even smell anything.
(40:26):
It might be the pizza.
It's the chair, dude.
Dude, it's the chair!
It's the chair, man.
It's trash chair.
Dude, stop huffing the chair.
What's it smelling? What's it taste like?
Yeah, look at it.
I seriously would love to talk about some weird shit today, boys.
(40:48):
What do you have in it?
The current.
You even watch the Paralympics?
No, well, yeah, I heard some things.
The Paralympics? No, the Paralympics.
It's not over once.
I thought you were competing.
No, that's different. I have all my limbs, dude.
Oh, that's the special Olympics.
(41:09):
Yes, it's different. So the Paralympics, those boys are Blade Runners.
Why do they get two Olympics?
They do.
These are capable boys with blades, dude.
I'm talking Blade Runners. Have you seen these guys run with new ones?
They're faster than anybody you've ever seen.
Blade Runners?
Dude, they're literally like a Blade Runner.
That is sick.
Hard, dude.
(41:31):
There's the guy that still has one leg, so it's fast, but in a circle.
I would wear absolutely of 100% of Duster.
They call this guy the Brazilian.
And be a Blade Runner, dude.
You'd be so much faster if you took the Duster off.
Absolutely not, dude.
I'm sweating this one out.
Who was the guy, the South African dude, the Paralympic dude that killed his family?
(41:53):
No.
Just real quick.
Can we just point out they call this guy the Brazilian torpedo?
Oh, fuck.
And he's a quadruple-leaf chicken.
They call him the Brazilian torpedo.
If he swims, I have no excuses for anyone.
Dude, it's...
(42:14):
It says the Brazilian torpedo Gabriel Araruf claims backstroke gold.
With no limbs.
No, because if he was face down, he would be...
Oh, he's got feet?
Oh, he's like a propeller.
He's all feet.
Oh, that might be a different guy, so I'm fucking out to lunch.
If they're on backstroke only because they can't flip over, dude, they would drown.
(42:38):
Where's Brazil?
Dos Santos.
Dos Santos, out of your...
Too many letters in there, got all scrunched up.
He's used Jay's nose together.
I fucking cheated.
So that's a fault.
No, no, no. I think they just kind of pushed him in.
Oh, yeah, no, it's backstroke. You start in the ocean.
Well, he got a really fucking head start. He was getting used to the water.
(43:00):
Tyler, are we gonna have to go over again what an ocean is and isn't?
I know pools are not ocean.
That guy cheated. He was first in the water.
They're man-made lakes.
God damn it!
Okay, okay.
These guys are slow as shit.
Wait, that guy's got... Hold on, pause.
That guy is totally kingwater.
This guy's slender.
(43:21):
This man's very long.
He's fucking the Jets.
He's got all his limbs.
He's all torso, dude.
I see two, unless he's got very skinny limbs.
I think it's just the water distortion.
Understand refraction?
I don't know.
I don't think that's refraction. I think that's all action, dude.
That's not refraction. That's action.
That guy's seven feet tall.
(43:42):
Look at how bent that guy is in the middle.
Once again, these guys are also definitely physically impaired.
That guy jumped in the water a little early.
But I gotta know how fast are these guys?
They'd all kick our asses.
Beep!
So that guy does have all four limbs.
His legs just don't work.
(44:05):
Dude, the Brazilian torpedo is...
Dude, that's not backstroke.
He's just swimming the butterfly.
Does he have no bones in his legs?
Dude, backstroke.
He's a mermaid.
This isn't fair. He's swimming the butterfly.
Everyone knows I'm Michael Phelps Jr.
I was on Swim Team for years.
I ruined my life with music instead of going to all-state fucking swimming.
(44:30):
But dude, he is swimming.
I haven't gained it on him.
He is swimming butterfly.
Dude, he's getting a little close to the rope.
How can you tell?
Because I know the differences between the strokes.
The way he's kicking is definitely a bottom line.
The way he's kicking is what you do in butterfly.
It's inverted butterfly.
I think you need a flutter kick for it to be considered backstroke.
He might be able to.
(44:52):
Correct. I'm being very ableist during the Paralympics.
He's got webbed legs.
Of course you're going to win.
It's such a more powerful way to kick in the ocean.
It's not his fault for being great.
True.
He is the Brazilian fucking torpedo.
Dude, this guy is fucking incredible.
I hope he is really excited.
He might actually drown if he fluttered kick.
(45:13):
I think he can go straight down.
He has to keep doing that.
He's got flippers, dude.
There's things happening here.
If he's Paralympics ripped, this is sick.
He knows if he stops, he's drowning.
Do they have breakdancing?
Do they have breakdancing with a Paralympic?
I honestly think so.
Do they have skateboarding?
(45:35):
There's some really sick dudes with no limbs that skate.
I see those boys rip.
I'm not doing a bit. Is that there?
I think they have that.
I think they throw the shot put.
Is this a 100 or a 50?
No idea.
It's a 50.
So that's just one down, one back.
Get him out of the water, dudes.
(45:56):
Damn, he laughed in one of them.
Yeah, dude, he...
Wait.
Get out the watch.
That guy's got working arms.
Dude, the Brazilian tornado, what is it?
What's he...
See, I'll show you.
What's his name?
Butter French?
Well, fuck it. I don't need to...
That's the butterfly kick.
(46:18):
We decided that he's probably gonna drown
if he doesn't flutter kick.
No arms, dude.
That's just survival right there.
That's exactly what I was...
Oh, breaststroke.
Paralympics swimming.
I'm obsessed right now.
Sorry, I'm kind of on the tangent.
I didn't know this was like...
Hyper fixating.
This is like the most autistic thing.
This is like hyper fixating on the Paralympics.
(46:41):
Swimming, specifically.
Do they have shooting?
I want to see archery next.
Archery would be sick.
Dude, when are they gonna introduce
NASCAR to the Olympics?
That's what we need.
The Paralympics or the...
The Paralympics.
Let's be real, dude.
Is it breaststroke?
I don't know.
Are they fast?
We just watched the fucking
(47:02):
Frizzel and torpedo.
That guy is stuck in the shit.
That guy...
You fucking...
Shut up, Mexico.
Dude, that guy is not fucking full, dude.
That guy is not fucking full, dude.
Dude, that guy is stuck in the...
Well, I can't tell
if we're on the mushrooms or not,
because...
Yeah, who needs it?
Dude, look at this guy in the background, man.
See that guy?
What do you think he's listening to right now?
(47:24):
Like, something...
Very archy.
Straight up, Mary.
Straight up, Mary.
Dude, you're absolutely right, dude.
I would swim fast to the top.
La Cougarra.
Yeah.
He's like...
Hey, hey, hey.
That's my favorite one.
Or like DMX, dude.
Edge gold, give it to you.
Dude, how many Mexicans are in this thing?
(47:46):
There's a lot of
Missin' Lames doing the vague.
Yeah, the cartel's just cranking up Paralympics.
The meat...
Oh, you Chris Shetty fights, dude.
Alright, we don't need to see the rollouts.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, do they each have...
I'm all about it, actually.
Dude, the Chinese one?
Oh, they didn't kill him.
There's a Chinese...
That's what I'm like, they didn't just...
They didn't kill him.
Dude, no, they're like...
(48:07):
They're like scientifically creating their Paralympics.
Yeah, they're getting lapsed.
Yeah, there's no shot they have like any women,
parents, like athletes in the Paralympics from China, right?
Probably not.
I don't think...
That makes sense.
Yeah, they got them.
God damn.
That's dark.
They got them.
They're like a dark bro.
Alright, come on, dude.
Put them in the water.
(48:28):
Put them in, put them in.
Oh, fuck it.
No.
Listen up.
That's...
Wait, what?
This guy...
He's...
Oh, no, he's got a...
Wait, wait.
I don't know, that guy's needed no help so far.
He might have a huge dick.
That's his disability.
Everyone was freaking out about like...
Oh, that one, dude?
Well, the boxers and shit.
Well, they're like...
They're like...
They're like...
They're like...
They're like...
(48:49):
They're like...
They're like...
They're like...
They're like...
They're like...
There was like the pole vault or whatever.
Lane five is lit?
Is that his name?
Lane five is lit, dude?
Could you imagine?
Whoa!
Like saying you're like...
You identify as...
Did these boys...
Have?
Clogicalegic and...
You just crushed the fucking pair of lipsticks?
You just crushed the fucking pair of lipsticks?
(49:10):
Nah, we need to brood these guys.
Oh, shit, I should have...
I'm not...
I'm not...
I'm not funny.
Oh.
Well...
Hold on...
this. With the blast beats in
the background. This is a
(49:31):
tremendous.
Wow.
This is a word.
Strategy. Strategy.
That's a tremendous strategy.
That's a complicated way to
pull. Dude. Do they think, do
they, okay, do they do as many
as they can? I think they're
doing a lot of swimming. Yeah.
(49:52):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because it
seems like they really want to
show you each of these guys
unique swimming style. I do. I
might be amped up a little bit.
For sure. Where we at right now?
How long does it take them to get
to the wall? So they're doing
25. But it's an Olympic sized
pool. So I think one lap is a
50. Dude, that one's a wide
(50:14):
receiver, man. He got the world
of the world.
There's in the lead.
Lang Lang lit, dude.
Leete.
All right. Chop my fucking
leg off.
They're splashing each other.
They're having a little flash
wait. I have to hold them up, dude.
That's a normal dude. That guy's
(50:36):
rent. That guy's fucking jet.
China is cheating in the
Paralympics. Yeah, dude.
What? What?
Okay, so keep an eye on Lane.
Oh,
fucking
three, four. Keep the world record.
Keep an eye on Lane.
Four.
From the top.
(50:58):
It's fucking.
I actually want to see his role. There we go, buddy.
Lane four was who?
That guy.
Yeah, it was bogus. He's. Oh, it was that guy?
He's an army. He sprayed
some of that mist in his face, dude.
He just pants you like this.
This is a little bit great.
This guy's an Olympic
athlete. I'm not.
(51:20):
I know. I'd be playing the audio
to see what
is wrong. What are I doing wrong?
What conditions they have.
Being able-bodied in Americans.
But I don't want to
get copyrighted.
Dude, all right.
So what are you trying to figure?
You can't copyright the Paralympics, dude.
That just feels wrong.
(51:42):
I think
NBC can.
Unfortunately.
Oh, dude, fuck yeah, dude.
You know, big table tennis fucking.
Oh, we got to see this, dude. Do they use all mouth?
I
think some do. No arm
table tennis player.
They would whip my ass without arms.
They'll tape it to their shoulder.
(52:04):
So this is the
2020 Paralympics.
We got, it's called
no armed table tennis player
Ibrahim Hamad-Tau
against Park Hong-Q.
He's all two. It only talks about the
Egyptians.
He's all two.
21st minute round
of table tennis. I got all the
(52:26):
time to kill right now. Let's watch. I want to
see it from the top. No.
There's no highlight.
Bring back.
You're going to sweat, man. That's smart, dude. You don't want
to get the stuff that things. Is that the Egyptian?
Is that he was here?
He served for this foot. Please.
He's all forehead.
You've really, really got to want this
if you're doing this shit, dude.
(52:48):
Back here.
Wait, is that his opponent or I think that's his
coach.
Or they just have them play against
like a normal person.
How many times can you hit it back and forth?
I honestly think it might be a volley
volley experience.
No, this is just
Is that he puts spin on it?
Oh, you can tell this guy.
(53:10):
Wait, wait.
What's going on?
Did he beat him?
He's a gap drinking this coke with one hand.
Yeah, like, what
Olympic sport can you just swig a
coke in the middle of it? That doesn't.
Oh, so he's maybe he's the only
one.
All right. I think I figured out what's
going on with that.
(53:32):
Because this guy's clearly not
a
a paraplegic or a
He's just so much
he's just the janitor
and said play this guy.
I think I'm theorizing
that there's not very many
paraplegic table tennis players
in the world.
So
(53:54):
to I know it's a big
plan with a lot of people.
So to just have this gentleman
this Egyptian gentleman compete
they just like
threw in a fucking
Japanese team. What's the barrier
for getting into the Paralympics?
Can you just
write me like a prescription for my glasses
that's really high and be like
(54:16):
I'm in now? I think a
paraplegic means like I think that
honestly I mean so this guy is like
like missing like extremities.
Is that it? But so like but what if you're just
missing your eye? What happens if you got gout
really bad?
Where's the what's the barrier for entry?
He's living legend.
Yeah. Yeah.
(54:38):
I don't think the uh
Oh hold on here. You always gotta go to the comments
actually.
Hamad too
the Egyptian gentleman that serves with his foot
and plays with his mouth. Tells the
ball girl to go sit behind the Korean player
because he has a knee disability
and it's hard for him to move
and retrieve the ball behind him when it falls.
What? That's an act.
(55:00):
So
the barrier for entry my boy without even having to
Google. You got a bum knee
to compete in the Paralympics
is like yeah I got that. I got a wonky knee dude
I mean and you get your
ass kicked by a dude that plays with his
fucking mouth. Yeah.
It's a mad knee you know what I mean.
Oh shit I forgot. Ah damn it.
I forgot the breakfast meats.
(55:22):
I
got a little bit of
I got you a little thing of
gonna be that. Armour all
Vienna Wieners or no fuck yeah
dude that's at home.
Justin I got you a mini spam. Is this the blade runners.
Yes.
Yeah dude this I mean that is
that's technology right there. It's sick.
It's sick. It's fast. They're fast.
(55:44):
They're like they're like faster.
It's just like
do that again.
I
have a bum heel and it's
it's been hurting me for
fucking over a year
at this point now. Lop it off.
It's gout. A pig foot
pig leg. I don't think you really get gout
in your heel. I think it's only in like your joints.
(56:06):
Yes definitely.
Now I think I got a bone spur.
You got a bone spur.
And you're running for profit. Grind it down.
Yeah I'm tell I'm how are you
going to compete against JFK's
fucking brain worm with a fucking
bone spur. They dropped out.
He cowered out. But dude
weird shit they're refusing it
to take him off the ballot in certain states.
(56:28):
Because of yeah
because they're trying to ban Trump.
You probably already got him printed.
Because they need to have more.
Because those states have to have
you have to have more than one person on the ballot.
You know what I mean so they have to put
RFK because those are the
those are the guys that are like trying to ban
fucking Trump from being on the ballot.
There's states that are trying to do that.
(56:50):
Like oh yeah I remember seeing like
Colorado was. Yeah they're like they're like you came
and like you're not leaving.
You mean RFK. No no no
this was for that's why
they want to keep him on
the ballot even though he rescinded
it because they have they don't
want they already said they don't want to have
Trump on the ballot.
I don't understand that's very unconstitutional
(57:12):
what are you talking about.
It happened during the primary.
This is a rabbit hole.
I'm not trying to be bro Trump
but they literally like I think it was
Colorado and one other
state I think it was it wasn't New
Hampshire it was one of the New England states that
literally said that Trump wasn't
allowed to be on the ballot. That sounds like a Vermont
thing.
(57:34):
I gotta look that up.
Fact check dude.
Good chat GPT. I think they got it.
Why would it be
why would it be to
fucking
you get what you pay for dog.
Can you stop breathing
directly in the mic.
No.
I don't like it dude.
(57:56):
Tickle boiled
Tickle boiled
Tickle boiled
Tickle boiled
Tickle boiled
Now we'll go to that.
Go to Truth
Truth Central
Colorado Supreme Court
declares Donald Trump is ineligible for the White House.
How does one state
(58:18):
determine that?
Because anyone can just do whatever the fuck they want.
Dude they're fucking they have you can eat mushrooms
there dude like you can smoke some weed
about it you can not.
The Constitution
is right dude they they went I mean
okay I see what they're doing.
That's why
well they called on the
they considered themselves sovereign
(58:40):
state.
They went full sovereign citizen.
You never go full sovereign citizen.
They went at a DUI
checkpoint like rolled their window down just
in a slander ID in the window they were like
dude
how do you get those sovereign citizen IDs?
Dude we should get some.
Yeah that's absolutely.
I think you can get them at Angler's
(59:02):
state.
I'm sure we could get some printed.
We'll use the CD printer.
It says I am a sovereign citizen.
Just like I'll take your U-Pin library.
Dude they have their own license plates too.
See if you can pull one of those off.
Oh that one was
a custom license plate.
Yeah just like I am paying no fucking taxes.
You're like okay man.
(59:24):
I'm off the grid.
Well yeah no I mean.
I'll put it in post it's gonna take like 90 more minutes.
Yeah whatever yeah this is welcome to like
we Google shit for 30 minutes portion of the
podcast.
There's no wifi connection down here.
It's not really about the wifi.
Oh dude what's it about?
We're just like googling like.
So you're not a fan of this portion of the podcast?
(59:46):
It's just there's a lot of downtime.
And opposed to.
So it's just riffing.
The riff's good.
The riffs are tight.
Give me a riff.
Cue to the jam.
Perfect.
(01:01:00):
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(01:32:24):
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(01:32:52):
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Yeah.
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