Nick Lopez - From LAPD Officer to Therapist: Embracing Life's Unexpected Turns

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What if the path to finding your true purpose lay in embracing life's most unexpected turns? I had the privilege of speaking with Nick Lopez, a former LAPD officer turned clinical therapist, who shared his compelling journey from the bustling streets of Los Angeles to a life dedicated to mental health. Nick offers a rare glimpse into the world of law enforcement, discussing the challenges officers face daily and the personal transformations they undergo. Growing up in a law enforcement family, Nick initially pursued a career in the LAPD, a decision shaped by his experiences and the complex dynamics within the police academy.

On the shores of Venice Beach, the stark reality of homelessness and drug activity painted a different picture than those seen on postcards. Nick recounts his time as an officer dealing with these gritty issues, navigating the chaos and unpredictability that came with the territory. The chapter "Policing Homelessness and Drug Activity" highlights these difficult realities, where officers often encounter parolees with no documentation and encampments more equipped than many homes. Through Nick's eyes, we see the contrasting beauty and harsh conditions of this iconic neighborhood, providing a raw perspective on the struggles faced by law enforcement.

Nick's story also addresses the emotional toll of wearing the badge, especially during times of social unrest. His candidness about his own mental health challenges, the stigma he faced, and his eventual decision to seek help is both sobering and inspiring. He opens up about the anxiety and stress that became overwhelming in the wake of the pandemic and George Floyd's death. Now, as a therapist, Nick uses his experiences to guide others through similar challenges, emphasizing the valuable skills officers possess that can lead to fulfilling second careers. Join us in this episode for a thought-provoking conversation on resilience, purpose, and the importance of mental health support.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hector Bravo.
Unhinged chaos is now insession.
Welcome back to our channels,warriors.
We are still growing today'sepisode?
We have Nick Lopez, a formerLAPD officer turned clinical

(00:23):
therapist man.
What's up, uh, nick?
How you doing, dude, I'm doingwell.
Thank you for having me, hector.
Thanks for driving down, bro.
Where'd you drive down from LA?

Speaker 2 (00:30):
I came from LA.
Yeah, it was a nice littlelittle drive.
No traffic, no, surprisingly,that's why I came super early.
I was just kind of hanging outbefore we started shooting.
But yeah, no traffic.
So where'd you grow up at, dude?
I'm originally from Kern County.
I was born and raised inBakersfield, born and raised in
Bakersfield.
Born and raised in Bakersfield.
Usually people refer to it asthat one place they stopped off

(00:52):
to take a piss somewhere Exactly, yeah, over the grapevine Right
, so that's where I was born andraised.
After that I went to college inLA and then from there I
transitioned into going into lawenforcement after college down
in LA.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
So while you were in college you came up with the
idea to join law enforcement.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yeah, I grew up in a law enforcement family.
My dad was a retired chippy, myuncle is a retired corrections
officer.
Mom worked for the districtattorney's office back home, so
it's just something.
I was, uh, I was raised aroundand I was pretty familiar with
the lifestyle and what came withit, even while I was in college

(01:35):
.
I wasn't quite sure what Iwanted to do afterwards, but I
got my poli sci degree, I got mybachelor's and, uh, I was like
you know, I decided to uh jointhe you know know, quote unquote
family business.
So I did my applications,applied with the Border Patrol,
fbi, secret Service, lapd andLAPD.
They gave me an academy datefirst and I was like all right,

(01:58):
you know what, I'm going to gowith them.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
It's usually whoever gets at you first is which
agency you end up going with.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah, fbi said it's probably going to be like a year
and a half or so.
Secret service, I think was theone that I wanted, but I wear
contacts and they said you haveto get LASIK.
You can't have a glasses orcontacts or anything.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
So I said that's yeah , they had a hard time seeing
that sniper with Trump.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Oh shit man a hard time seeing that sniper with
trump.
Oh shit man, um, yeah, but um,yeah so.
But, like I said, uh, lapd,they gave me an academy date
first.
Um, they're like yeah, so Ithink within, yeah, just a few
months around what year was this?

Speaker 1 (02:36):
uh 2017 2017 2017 lapd academy.
Now, do they have their ownacademy, or is that at a college
?
How is that?
Yeah, we have our own academyor is that at a college?

Speaker 2 (02:44):
How is that?
Yeah, we have our own academy.
They're in Echo Park, by DodgerStadium.
There's different placesthroughout your academy time
that you do your academytraining.
There's one in Granada Hills,one in Echo Park near Dodger
Stadium, one near I can'tremember the name of it right
now, but there's severaldifferent facilities that you

(03:06):
bounce around during your time.
Do you live there or is it likeyou come and you go?
Yeah, yeah, you come and you go?
Yeah, it's not like CHP, or areyou guys CDCR?
They live there.
Oh, you guys live there.
Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, with usSometimes.
I believe you know everyone'sgoing to have a couple courses

(03:28):
on Saturday that you have to goto, but aside from that, just
Monday through Friday.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
How was it?
Was it academics?
Defensive tactics, shootingrange?
Was it a mixture of everything?

Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yeah, a mixture of everything, Typical academy
experience.
You get your lock horses, youget your self-defense, you get
your EVOC training.
So pursuit training, you getyour shooting training, all the
standard stuff I think I didwell, you try to be a it's known
as, like the gray man.
So in the academy you don'twant to be the one Sticking out,

(04:04):
st the gray man.
So in the academy, like youknow, you don't want to be the
one sticking out, sticking outeither for bad or for good,
being a quote unquote individual.
You know that the drillinstructor is going to pay.
You know, pay some goodattention and then take it out
on the rest of us.
So, uh, but yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Now were you excited to be in the academy.
I mean, were you happy?
You made it through a process,got selected and now you were in
.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
Yeah, I was.
I was pretty happy um and again, growing up in the law
enforcement family, I kind ofknew what to expect.
Um getting yelled at, screamedat, um.
It wasn't something that wassurprising to me.
I know a couple of my academymates they'd, you know, never
been around that kind ofenvironment.
Someone never shot a gun before, someone never even seen a gun.

(04:42):
Um god damn, how do you go fromnever seen a gun to all of a
sudden being a gun toting copyeah in la, yeah, man, I know
you know different people gotdifferent goals and you know
there's something that theywanted to accomplish in their
lives.
And yeah, I think we startedwith, um god, we started with
about 40 or so and I think bythe second day we already
dropped like six, sevencandidates.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Really, yeah, it was was it the same for you guys
like, oh, ain't nobody quit,ain't nobody getting dropped,
bro?
No, should see some of thepeople they let in.
They should start droppingpeople.
But um, yeah, dude.
So prior to you getting on thejob, did you have a perception
of maybe, how you would betreated as a cop, maybe by the

(05:25):
public, or did you think maybeyou would be welcomed?

Speaker 2 (05:31):
I knew, living in LA, that being in a more liberal
city, that you wouldn't.
Let's just say maybe youwouldn't exactly be welcomed,
maybe you wouldn't exactly bewelcomed.
I didn't maybe quite expect asmuch hate as I got that.
That part came to george floyd,which you know I'm sure we'll
get into um, but again, I knownot everyone.

(05:53):
We're not like firemen, we noteverybody likes us when we show
up, right, um.
So I expected some brushbackand they, you know, you know
your job is to take people tojail and you're showing up on
people's worst days and noteverybody's gonna like you when
you show up.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
Well, you know your job is to take people to jail
and you're showing up onpeople's worst days and not
everybody's gonna like you whenyou show up well, you know, I
would say, maybe a cop's not jobis for not to only to take
people to jail but also toassist people and their worst
times, you know, of their lives,right?

Speaker 2 (06:19):
right?
No, you're, you're very rightas being a cop um, you wear a
lot of hats, correct?
So you know if it means you gotto be a brother, a father, a
social worker, you got to be ajudge, you got to be a friend,
anything can happen on any givenday.
But I've been fortunate enoughthat you know and I think it's a

(06:42):
lot of the vocal minority thatnot much they hate cops or want
to hate cops, but there are alot of good people and a lot of
people who do support us who Ithink, don't get as much
recognition just because of, Ithink, the day and age that
we're living in right now orwhen everything was going on
around 2020.
But there was a lot of peoplethat did support us.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
Yeah, our current year, right now we're 2024, but
I know what you're talking aboutand I do think we're coming
around, coming back around right.
Reason for that is I thinkpeople got tired as fuck of just
lawlessness.
Right, they got what they askedfor, right, exactly.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
Um, yeah, because I know I was like george gascon,
the da he's out, that was, thatwas a big one for LA.
But yeah, no, you're totallyright Just a lot of the
lawlessness, a lot of thepropositions that passed that
people are getting.
I lost count how many times I'dgo arrest someone and they're

(07:38):
let out the front door before Ieven start writing the report.
And so it just became, yeah,just a circus that I think
people just got sick and tiredof elaborate on that right,
because there's so much to diveinto.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
And now we're like we're getting into the, the
weeds of things like explain tothe average viewer what that's
like mentally arresting somebodyand then they're getting walked
out right before you're donewith even writing the report.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
I've heard that before yeah, um, I mean a lot of
it working.
Uh, especially like venicebeach, that's one of the areas I
patrol.
You're dealing with a lot of uhhomeless who are then you have
criminal records or they havewarrants.
Um, and sometimes when you're,when you do arrest them for

(08:23):
whatever they decide, you bashsomeone over the head with a
skateboard, which happened a lotum when you're arresting them,
and a lot of times they havealmost their entire life in a?
Uh in their encampment and isis their property, and so not
only do you take them, you haveto take all the property,
booking all of that.
And once you're processing themand again it depends on what

(08:48):
they're getting booked forSometimes it's literally just a
site and release, and soliterally they're out the front
door before I even sit down andstart writing the report or
running the citation.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
So realistically.
There has been events where youcan hit somebody over the head
with a skateboard and still beable to leave within the few
hours.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
Oh God, man, it's been so many.
It feels like stuff getsblurred so much just from how
many times we're able to justcite people out, but it just
felt like it's a lot.
Yeah, oh yeah, there was a lotof things that happened where we
just yeah, just no secondrelease and they're out the door
from your experience, do youthink that enables more
criminology and criminal acts onthe on these suspects?

(09:34):
yeah, I think so.
I mean it's.
I mean when they see that youknow what little power we have
or what you know they can andcan get away with more, so can
get away with.
Now they know it's like well,they're empowered, like they're
not going to be able to doanything.
Or if I do do something, I'mjust going to get sight and
released, and it's not likethey're going to show up on

(09:55):
their court dates and even if itbecomes like another warrant,
you know again and they're outthe door doing it all over again
now for for being a policeofficer?

Speaker 1 (10:04):
is that discouraging for you and your peers?

Speaker 2 (10:08):
Oh, definitely For me , at least in my perspective,
and what I felt like it becameless feeling like a police
officer and more like an adultbabysitter at times, because, I
mean, it feels like you're justarresting the same people over
and, over and over again, withno real repercussions, you know,

(10:30):
unless they went out andmurdered someone.
But even then it just felt likea revolving door where you just
you know you're picking upreoffenders and it's just a
revolving door that it's.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
It's just non-stop lawlessness you ever deal with
any parolees or failure?

Speaker 2 (10:46):
former felons oh yeah , yeah, um, definitely the one
thing about venice beach toworking venice beach was a lot
of uh.
It felt like everyone that wecame into contact with either
homeless or suspect.
Almost no one was fromcalifornia.
Really, yeah, everyone, it feltlike, sent their homeless to
california to venice becauseit's fucking cold everywhere

(11:08):
else dude.
Yeah, yeah, exactly, and it'sand working.
Venice beach.
You got everything you got.
You got drugs, you got guns,you got gangs, you got sex
trafficking.
You got a little bit ofeverything, and every once in a
while, you know, you get yourmisdemeanor warrants here and
there.
But I think one time I wasn'tworking it, it was one of the

(11:32):
homeless guys in the encampmentpopped up and turned out he was
wanted for murder, I believe inBaltimore, and so it's just
little things like that thatwind up happening to Venice
Beach.
It's like, oh well, you knowthat's Venice.
I was just going to ask, youknow that's venice.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
I was just gonna ask you about that man.
You said they're not fromcalifornia, most likely from the
east coast or midwest.
I'm sure they don't carry umidentification.
So at what point do you realizewho you actually have in
custody?
Right, that's where you reallygot to do your homework.
You have to do your homework.
Yeah, you definitely have to doyour homework.
What does that look like?
Like making calls, fingerprints, running databases yeah, you're

(12:07):
mostly running database.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
Um, you're.
Sometimes they give you partialinformation, then you got to
vet them.
Oh, you're really giving me whoyou really are.
Again, data checking.
Sometimes you're checking and,hey, I got so and so hemmed up
right now.
What do you know about them?
You got any info on them?
You know you got to do like afull-blown investigation right
then and there sometimes, wow,venice beach man?

Speaker 1 (12:31):
I mean, la is beautiful, not the traffic per
se, but venice beach man, didyou?
Do you look, now have a wholenew uh viewpoint on beaches as
opposed to?
I'm sure you've seen some grimystuff working yeah, it's venice
beach.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Uh, it's its own world, it's its own little
circus.
I mean, it's, um, it's prettycommonplace to.
Uh, you're finding usedsyringes in the sand.
You know you get the homelessliving out there.
You know they're urinating,defecating in the sand.
Sometimes they're od'ing on thebeach.
Then you got the encampments.
Sometimes, too, it's goingthrough.

(13:09):
You go through theseencampments.
Some of these encampments hadbetter setups than I had Full-on
50-inch flat screens, ikeafurniture, new Xbox Mac laptops
no way, dude.
No, I'm dead serious.
I am dead serious.
Power supply, power supply,everything.
One of them had a full-on legitbarbecue set right next to his

(13:36):
camp.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
Let me ask you something, dude.
You're a cop, you're in Venice,bro.
You see that what goes throughyour head, man, like what the
fuck?

Speaker 2 (13:43):
Yeah, I'm jealous as shit.
He's got a better setup than Ido in my house, so it's like and
it's just another day.
That's what Venice is.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
It almost seems to me like you were a cop during the
time frame and we're going totouch on George Floyd, but like
when the whole epidemic ofhomelessness and maybe even
fentanyl on the rise.
Dude, right, you guys encountera lot of dope out there.
Oh, yeah, yeah, meth.
What kind of drugs and whatkind of activity was surrounded
with that?

Speaker 2 (14:11):
oh, everything you got.
You got crystal, you got meth,you got fentanyl, you got black
tar, heroin it's.
You got a good mix ofeverything and you know,
unfortunately, it oh, oh dean,or you know finding people who
are od'ing.
You know breaking breaking outthe Narcan that was pretty
commonplace Sometimes.
You know you got guys that areand you got to be careful too,

(14:32):
especially when you're pattingdown these guys.
You know a lot of these guys.
They got syringes sticking outof their pockets, jackets.
You got a lot of phone callssaying because there's a lot of
foot traffic, you've got bars,restaurants right there on
Oceanfront Walk and a lot of thetimes you'll get bar patrons.
You get owners hey, like comingin, one of the guys from the

(14:52):
encampments or someone he'spassed out with a needle in his
arm in the bathroom, wow, andthey're urinating, they're
defecating right there.
There's thousands of peoplewalking by and they're just
right there just doing theirbusiness in the middle of the
street and just that's justanother day.
Just no, not a care in the worldhow cautious were you?

Speaker 1 (15:12):
I know you mentioned uh needles sticking out of
pockets.
How cautious were you with,like blood-borne pathogens?

Speaker 2 (15:18):
oh, um, yeah, I mean, and that's one of the things
that, uh, one of my fftos that Iwas working with that's one of
the things that one of my FTOsthat I was working with that's
one of the things he alwaystaught me.
He's like where's the mostdangerous place as a cop?
What's one of the mostdangerous places that for you as
a cop working?
And I was like I don't know onthe street somewhere and he said
no, it's the back of your car.

(15:39):
And what he meant by that wasyou're going to be arresting
people who they have God knowswhat they.

(15:59):
You know whether it be staff MR.
You're going to be dealing withum, people who are, you know,
diagnosed with everything from,like I said, staff, you got hiv
is any type of disease.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
It's probably going on in venice beach was there
ever a suspect that youabsolutely did not want to put
in the back of your patrol carbecause of how gross it was?

Speaker 2 (16:26):
oh god, that was you know.
Honestly, I got so numb to itat some point to a point, yeah,
I mean there were more thansometimes.
They were just stinkier thanothers, others, but there were
some where they have.
I mean, they're barefoot andit's, like you know, 40 degrees
outside in the middle of thewinter and they're.
They have, like that, what doyou call like elephantitis, like

(16:47):
their?

Speaker 1 (16:48):
skin is rotting off it's rotting off.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
It's like swollen to the size of a basketball.
They got um, the heroin soresall over the face and they're
bleeding out constantly and it'slike at some point you just
kind of get, you almost get numbto it.
No way, dude, and it's, it wasjust commonplace and it was just
.
You know, you walk into thestation and sometimes you got to
strip search them, andlegitimately.

(17:14):
Sometimes it would be so badyou could take them into the
back to strip search them andobviously they haven't paid
foured, four, five, six months.
Four, five, six monthsSometimes, yeah, and I could,
legitimately, they will smell upthe entire station.
You can almost smell it comingfrom the outside into the

(17:35):
station and it was just.
I don't know if your sensesjust get dull to it or what, but
it's yeah, you got used to it.
I bet you don't miss that part.
No, no, no, no, it's um, yeah,man, it's just wild wild what
you get exposed to now.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
I would only imagine there's times where you got to
fight these guys and wrestle onthe ground with them and attempt
to take them into custody.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
Right, fuck, that's not can be good yeah, yeah, and
that that was something I alwaystry to keep in the back of my
mind too is like, okay, you know, I gotta go to the ground with
this person.
Or, hey, you know you got a 415dude.
He's probably high off crystalmeth mixed with god knows what.
You know you're trying to checkhim too for weapons, and all
that up.
At the same time, in the backof your mind, you're thinking
like, okay, he's got an opensore.

(18:20):
He's already bleeding.
You got to check.
For, you know, could hepossibly have something?
You don't know.
So that's something in the backof your mind too.
Making sure that you know,trying to take him into custody,
making sure, okay, you'retrying to protect yourself and
your partner as well as you can,protecting them from
blood-borne pathogens oranything like that that could
possibly get into you orotherwise.
You know you're gonna have totake a hospital trip.

(18:40):
So during this time, is yourmind shift?

Speaker 1 (18:41):
changing like hey, I was excited to be in the academy
, I was have to take a hospitaltrip.
So during this time, is yourmind shift, changing Like hey, I
was excited to be in theacademy, I was excited to be a
cop.
And now I'm being exposed toall of this here in Venice Beach
.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yeah, I mean, for me, it was, I think, what really
started turning the tide.
And again, this is my ownpersonal experience.
You know, there's a lot of copsout there who love the job and
again, this is my own personalexperience there's a lot of cops
out there who love the job andthey love what they're doing,
and that's awesome.
Again, I'm only speaking frommy personal experience.
I think it was around that timeit was around 2020, just when

(19:17):
the world went to shit COVIDhappening, george Floyd,
everything that happened afterthat I start to feel myself um
change, and what I mean by thatis, um, I think, just me being
on the job again.
I started getting angry, Istarted getting depressed, I

(19:43):
started having like full-blownpanic and anxiety attacks out of
nowhere.
There'd be times where we'd beout on patrol in Venice Beach
and, you know, say, hey, youknow my partner's driving.
And they, hey, you know, let me, I've got to hit the head.
I got to use the restroom realquick.
Well, you know, not known tothem because I didn't want to
say anything.
I'd have to rip off my wholeuniform because I'm having a

(20:05):
full-blown panic attack.
You know, it feels like thewalls are closing in on me, I'm
in cold sweats, I'm shaking andI'm like what the hell's wrong
with me.
And so after a while again Ijust I started to get depressed.
I started to.
I had a hair trigger temper andit started to bleed into my

(20:26):
personal life.
That's when I really started tothink like you know what, I need
some help, like I.
Uh, my family noticed a changein me, like I wasn't the same
person.
I didn't want to be aroundanybody because I knew I was
just an angry, pissed off,depressed asshole.
I just wanted to lay in bed allday covers.
I don't want to see anybodytalk to anybody.
I was just pissed off at theworld.

(20:47):
And then you go do a job whereyou know you're getting
motherfucked all day by thepublic.
You come home, you know youturn on the news how.
You know you see how much copsare hated.
I lost a couple of friendsduring George Floyd because they
thought you know, for whateverreason, like we're all just
asshole, racist, you know pigswho like taking people's rights

(21:08):
away and just getting exposed tothat nonstop, day in, day out.
I decided to.
I was like you know what?
I need to get some professionalhelp.
And so I reached out and I hadto take leave.
I was like this shit's gettingway too much and so and I was

(21:33):
scared too, because I know thatthere's still a lot of stigma
around reaching out for help I'mnot sure how it was being a
correctional officer, how it wasfor you guys, as far as you
know, if you're feeling shit oryou just feel like mental health
wise, I'm not in the rightstate of mind how it was like
for you guys, like reaching outor if you guys had anything like

(21:54):
that or like it's kind of likeany male dominated, like law
enforcement or military type, isyou know?

Speaker 1 (22:00):
I think it's a machismo thing, right?
Um?
So you mentioned you were ableto identify the change in you.
Were you actually able toidentify the changes or did you
or did the people start tellingyou, hey man, you're acting
different, are you okay?
Or?
Um, no, it was, it was me, andI say that because that's most
people don't.
It's hard for them to identifyusually.

(22:21):
Usually they're like fuckingshit deep in right and and they
lost everything, and they'relike, well, what the hell
happened?
Right?

Speaker 2 (22:27):
No, like with me, I was able to identify it.
I think the reason why peopledidn't tell me cause I was very
good at hiding it, I was verygood at putting on a fake face,
you know, smile and wave allthat shit.
All that shit.
Hey, I'm happy to come intowork.

(22:48):
I did that too because withLAPD we work in partners and so
we work a two man car and when Iwas going through my own shit,
I wanted I was suffering insilence, and it was my own
choice because I didn't want forone second my partners to think
, oh, I'm with someone who can'thandle the shit or he can't
hack it.
I prided myself on being able tohandle my shit.
Or if we went hands-on, if wegot to go, if we got to fucking
take care of business, we takecare of business.

(23:08):
And I didn't want them to thinkfor one second that they
couldn't rely on me.
And so I decided to suffer insilence for months and months
and months and months.
And you know there were a justsuck starting my department
pistol right there in thefucking parking lot and it
actually crossed your mind ohyeah, at what portion of your

(23:28):
career, middle or towards theending?

Speaker 1 (23:31):
yeah, it was towards the end, towards the end.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
Yeah, it was towards the end.
It was around like end of like2020, 2021, and I was like you
know what?
I just I gotta find some helpbecause I know I've seen where
this goes right and it and it'seither you know cops eating
their gun or you know they startdoing a whole lot of stupid
shit.
They start, you know, gettingdrowning in the bottle,

(23:53):
self-medicating, yeah,self-medicating, all that type
of shit.
I was like you know what.
I got to stop this before itgets to that, because it was
going to start getting into thatand I didn't want to do that to
my, my girlfriend, now myfiance and um.
And so I decided, you know what, I'm gonna reach out for some
professional help.
And again, I was um, I wasscared to at first just because,

(24:14):
again, the machismo thing, youknow the stigma that and their,
their misconceptions of all.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
They're gonna take away my guns right.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
I'm going to lose my job right and there is, you know
, sometimes you know that fearsI get it because in rare cases,
you know, sometimes it doeshappen and but to me it was more
like oh shit, like do theythink I'm gonna be like a 5150
or I can't hack it, what youknow?
And cops talk to like, oh, didyou hear about so-and-so?

(24:43):
Like that, like he's not onlylike what's going on?
And again, this is my firsttime going through all this shit
, so I'm I'm stepping into theunknown, I'm like what the
fuck's gonna happen to me?
And so I decided to reach outto my sergeant, um, and they can
only ask so many questionsabout what's going on, yeah, and
so I kind of told him a littlebit about what was just going on

(25:04):
in my own head.
It's like I need to get somehelp.
And fortunately and again youknow, lapd is big, so there's
different, there's over like 20different divisions within our
department and stuff they wereincredibly supportive, um, they
were like, whatever help youneed, we will help get you the
help that you need.
Even, like, you know, one ofthe captains, I think, reached

(25:27):
out through, you know, one ofthe sergeants said, hey, if it's
like even drug related, alcoholrelated.
We got, you know, access to,you know, the beddy ford clinic
or whatever you need you you letus know.
And that was a big surprise tome because I wasn't sure,
because I've heard horrorstories where they tell you quit
being a fucking pussy and getthe fuck back out there I don't
really think that's prevalentthese days.

Speaker 1 (25:46):
You know, I mean maybe in the, maybe in the 80s
or 90s, it's definitely changingyeah, um, it's changing.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
And again it depends on the department too.
Um, and again I can only speakfor here, my department.
It may be totally different inother places.
I've heard of you know othercops saying where that's in a
polite way.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
They're pretty much told suck it, the fuck up well,
it's pretty good to hear thatlepd backs their cops in that
manner.
Dude, that's huge, that isfreaking huge, bro, because
other agencies or departmentswon't do that yeah, and again
I'm speaking from my ownpersonal experience.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
Um, I was very fortunate to have that, because
I know that's that's not thecase a lot of the time.
And yeah, I went on leave, sawthe department psychologist,
told him what was going on in myown head it sounds like you
have PTSD just from the job shitthat you're going through.
And so during that time,because I went on leave for

(26:39):
several months and I had to do alot of reflecting, it's like
okay, well, shit is justsomething that I want to give it
another go.
Do I want to keep doing this?
Do I want to go on with the job?
You know, are there otherventures in my life or things
that you know I may want to do?
And I started to think I waslike you know, during this whole
time that you know I wastalking with the psychologist, I

(27:07):
I like the help that I wasgetting and being, you know,
having someone there to talkabout the shit that I was going
through.
And I was like you know whatthings that I picked up to while
I was on the job.
I would notice that sometimespartners or other people they
would come to me kind of withtheir problems their own
personal stuff and it's notnothing.
It's nothing that I was soughtout.
I was okay, I'm just someonethey trust that they want to
talk to.

(27:27):
So I was like you know what, Iwouldn't mind being able to do
this for other cops or firstresponders.
And I was like you know what?
I think that could be my nichea cop who is a therapist,
because not a lot of therapists,psychologists, psychiatrists
were military or firstresponders.

(27:48):
I was like you know what?
I know how, because you knowhow cops are.
Cops are very stubborn.
It's hard to get through thatwall.
And so I was like you know whatthat could be my niche and being
able to develop that report, Ithink would give me an edge
already and being able to looksomeone in the eye, someone
who's going through the shit.
And I was like you know what.
I've been there, I know whatyou're going through because I

(28:08):
have been there.
I was like you know what Icould really see myself doing
that.
And so I had to, uh, I had tomake a big decision and I
decided to you know what, I'mgoing to go ahead and leave the
force and I and that's, andthat's what I did.
And, um, so, once I got mymaster's degree, I'm, uh, now a

(28:30):
clinical therapist and that'swhat I'm doing now that's all.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
Hey, guys, consider becoming a patron, where you
will get first exclusive dibs onthe video before it airs to the
public and you'll get to askthe guest special questions that
you have in mind.
So that's also another way tosupport the channel.
Thank you, guys, appreciate allof you keep pushing forward.
Make sure you hit that link indescription below.
Awesome dude, thank you.
So while you were a cop man,clearly you were enduring all

(28:56):
this trauma.
And what were some of thethings that you were not in
agreeance with, like especiallyduring the george floyd the
riots?
I mean, I heard you say that itwas like an apocalyptic scene.
Yeah, yeah, it was.
What were you finding that wasunsettling?

Speaker 2 (29:18):
um, just how brazen people were with the lawlessness
of just.
You know people were burningdown, you know cop cars, people
were looting building and it wasit's shit.
You see on a movie, right,because it's you know being.
You know being on like the riotsquad we call the mobile field
force, but you know just beingoutnumbered like a thousand to

(29:39):
one and like just going throughdowntown, like going into the
city, just seeing like justsmoke billowing over the city
skyline again, it's nothing butburning metal.
You're seeing just peoplelooting non-stop.
You got helicopters comingoverhead.
It looked like a damn michaelbay movie like it was were you
in any specialized gear, or wereyou regular uniform?

(30:00):
so with us with lapd, we haveour uh, our right helmets and
our uh, our batons, and that'sit.
And then we have um.
Some guys will be on the mobilefield force line with 40
millimeters um with spongerounds, um, and you have the uh,
because I think you guys haveit too.
The um have a little.

(30:22):
It's like the little rock, rockballs that uh, maybe you guys
don't, it's um, anyways, lesslethal munitions, we'll just
call it that um, but yeah,that's, that's all we had.
I know different departmentshave you know different ride
gear and all that.
But yeah, with us it was justnight, stick in a in a helmet
man so it was watching thesecriminals and they're brazen.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
total disrespect for law and order.
Right that way, you were likewhat the fuck is this man?
Did you not think that humans,or Americans or citizens were
capable of such anarchy?

Speaker 2 (30:55):
Or was that like first exposure, or I think it
was more my first exposure, likein person, because I remember
hearing about, like the Wattsriots Right, you know, the Black
Panther riots way back in theday from OG cops who would tell
me and I know especially theriots after Rodney King and all
that it was more concentratedwithin areas of LA, but this was

(31:15):
full-blown, this was nationwide.
This was just because of theactions of one cop and something
that happened in Minnesota hadnothing to do with us.
You know, whole country wentcrazy.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
Elaborate on that man .
What's it like?
You just hit the nail on thehead.
Something happened over herewith somebody I don't even know.
It had nothing to do with us,but we're getting treated as the
same or worse.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
Yeah, and I think that's the one unique thing
about being a cop.
Like, say, you get someone youknow you're working at Dunkin'
Donuts, you get someone's orderwrong and it's in another state.
It's not like someone's like oh, all these motherfuckers
working at Dunkin' Donuts,they're all like this Like with
us.
If someone fucks up somewhereat some department got nothing

(32:00):
to do with us.
We all get treated as if wewere the ones that did that.
And so just seeing that unraveland just how polarizing it was,
and just seeing how you knowseeing people's colors come out
and seeing how they, how we weretreated, you know taking bricks
and bottles and you knowwhatever else they could fucking

(32:20):
throw at us and shit it was.
It was definitely, it was wild.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
What kind of feelings are invoked?
Being a police officer andwatching a police car on fire?
I mean, in essential, that'syour office, right, that's your
property.
I know it's a city property,but how did that feel, dude?
That has to be fucking horrible.

Speaker 2 (32:41):
Yeah yeah, it's one thing to see it on TV, it's
another to live it andexperience it.
Seeing it firsthand it's um.
Yeah, it was.
It was very surreal surreal,that's the only way that I could
put it.
It looked legitimately feltlike being in a movie of just
you know you're.
You're walking through thestreets of your city and all you

(33:05):
do is smell just burning metal.
You got graffiti everywhereFuck the cops, fuck LAPD,
fucking you know, fuck thesepigs.
You know you're walking throughransacked stores, people
looting people, all that shit,just post-apocalyptic shit that,
like you know, I said italready, but it legit felt like

(33:25):
being in a movie now, what wereyou there when there was large,
massive crowds of people?

Speaker 1 (33:31):
what was going through your head and you keep
it real or you cannot?
What was going through yourhead?
Did you think, man, we need tosmash all these dudes and shut
this down asap, or do we need topull back and kind of regroup
and reorganize?

Speaker 2 (33:46):
yeah, it's.
That's a hard question to answerbecause, you know, I, I know
there's different, you knowtactics and different, different
ways of looking at it.
I mean, I mean, at the end ofthe day, I mean you're, you're
outnumbered a thousand to one,but at the same time you're,
you're legitimately,legitimately the nine, the line
between complete and totalanarchy, and you know law, so

(34:07):
it's like at some point youcan't give in to the mob, but at
the same time there are, youknow, sometimes you have to
think about, oh shit, well, youknow, if we get into like a
choke point right here, thenwe're kind of, we're kind of
fucked, and so you could reallyhave to weigh that balance of,
okay, you know, is the juiceworth the squeeze here, like, is
it worth, like, okay, maybegetting all these people into

(34:30):
one concentrated area and if shegoes sideways, at least it's
concentrated right here or doyou let the mob go for you,
cause you're just, you'reoutnumbered, you don't have as
much munitions and all this shit.
But you know, that wasn't, itwasn't my call, that was the
higher-ups call that was gold,bro.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
So you said that is the juice worth the squeeze.
At some point in your careeryou realize as a whole entirety
you remaining a police officerthe juice was no longer worth
the squeeze yeah was there anymajor events that made you
realize that, or was it anaccumulation of just these day
to day?

Speaker 2 (35:15):
Yeah, I think with me it was just an accumulation of,
you know, just the job itselfthat was just wearing on me
nonstop and I think you know,put it with COVID and 2020 and
George Floyd was just, you know,you know, throwing gasoline on
the fire of the way I wasalready feeling already.
So, yeah, at some point, youknow, you know you got to think
are you willing to, is this whatyou want to do for the next 20,
30 years?
You know, do you want to suffermentally or do you want to do

(35:40):
something else that you, youknow you want to be passionate
about, or do you want to gosomewhere else?
And then I think a lot of well,I won't say a lot of.
I think there are a good amountof cops right now who are on the
job, who do want to go ventureinto something else, but a lot
is, it's scary, jumping into theunknown.
And it comes, I think, withtime on too, because with me I

(36:00):
was at that five-year mark waslike okay, it's like shit or get
off the pot time, because youknow you start putting in your
years, you start got to thinkabout pension, retirement.
It's like you can't walk awayfrom that, because then you
start at day zero again if youdecide to go somewhere else.
So that five-year mark where Iwas at I was like you know what
you know for me, you know I'mgonna do something different,
and uh, so that's what I did,bro, I commend you.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
I commend you for leaving law enforcement because
it's not easy, dude.
Leaving any career is not easy.
I mean, it's something that youknow, that you're comfortable
with.
Nobody wants to leave theircomfort zone.
And then, like you hadmentioned earlier in the episode
, identifying your changedbehaviors right and then seeking

(36:42):
the help.
Your changed behaviors rightand then seeking the help.
What advice do you have forindividuals in your situation
that you were in um, where theyhave 20 years ahead of them, 30
years ahead of them.
Maybe they don't have an out ormaybe they think they don't
have an out.
What advice do you have?

Speaker 2 (37:01):
I would say there is life after law enforcement.
I think, too, a lot of peopleget tripped up on when they're
on the job is that my skillswon't transition to something
else.
But you know, like I saidbefore, being a cop you have to
wear many hats.
There's a lot of skills thatcan translate into different,
various forms of careers andemployment.

(37:22):
So don't think, just becauseyou're a cop, that's all I know,
that's all I can do.
You know, again, with me, again, I wanted to.
I found myself being able toestablish rapport with people on
a somewhat regular basis andhaving, I don't want to say ease
, but it felt like just doing itrepetitively, over and over
again.
I felt very comfortable with itand I got very comfortable with

(37:44):
talking with people, withsubordinates, with civilians,
with my partners, about theproblems.
I was like you know what youknow that's, that's a skill that
is sought after, especiallyright now with mental health and
, you know, across the country.
I was like you know what Icould put that skill to use.
And again, being a cop, youknow, being a correctional

(38:05):
officer, there's a, there'sdifferent trades, there's
different skills that you canutilize that can totally, you
know, transcend just going intoit.
I was happy, I did it.
So if you are thinking about itand I say this too like have a

(38:29):
plan before, oh, yeah, dude, forsure, just don't jump off a
fucking cliff without aparachute.
Yeah, exactly, have a planbefore you do that.
But yeah, just know thatthere's life after law
enforcement and it's.
You know, I'm happy and Iwouldn't change anything.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
I did so, while you were struggling with your mental
health, were you speaking toanybody else other than your
therapist or treatment?
Were you letting other peopleknow, maybe family members?
Hey, I'm thinking aboutquitting this job.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:04):
Um, I was, my fiance, um, my parents, they were the
ones outside of that.
I really I didn't tell anybody.
What was the feedback from them.
My fiance was, was all for it.
She, she understood Um, and sheworried about my safety nonstop
, just being a cop in the firstplace, and she saw me changing
and it wasn't for the better.

(39:25):
Um, she was happy about mydecision.
My parents supported me.
Um, I was think I was more soafraid of letting my, my parents
down, especially my dad,because you know he's chp,
retired cop.
Um, I didn't want to feel likeI was letting them down, but at
the end of the day, they wantedme to be happy and they saw me

(39:47):
change.
They saw that I, I wasn't there.
The son that they knew like thejob definitely changed me and
it wasn't there.
The son that they knew like thejob definitely changed me and
it wasn't for the better.
But I was fortunate that I hadtheir support.
Um, cause, again, I know that'snot something that everybody
has outside of the job and,again, I think that's one of the
reasons why I think I survived,at least emotionally, while I

(40:10):
was struggling.
While I did was especially myfiance, because before going on
the job.
You need someone that you'regoing to see a lot of sick,
twisted, fucked up shit on thejob and sometimes you can't keep
that shit all inside you.
Sometimes you need to haveeither a therapist, a
significant other, a friend,someone that you can talk to

(40:30):
about it, who's not going tojudge you and I know a lot of
times people don't have that Alot of people or they have
someone, they just don't give ashit or they can't, or sometimes
cops won't.
They won't say what's going onbecause no one can relate to
them.
My fiance was very good about Idon't care what happened, I

(40:54):
don't care if you saw someoneget killed or you had you got in
a pursuit.
I want you to be able to talkto me about your day and I want
you to be able to talk to meabout what's going on.
And I really think I am heretoday because of her, because I
don't know what would havehappened if she wasn't there.
So I commend her and that's whyI put a ring on it, because
she's definitely a ride a rideor die.
But again, I'm very blessed tohave that support system because

(41:16):
I know a lot of cops sometimesdon't have that.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
so now, you're right, dude.
That's awesome.
That's awesome.
You were able to find somebodythat you were compatible with to
back you up.
In that sense, um, it almostseems like being a police
officer, dude.
You're in two battles a battlewith the public and a battle
within yourself.
Right, yeah, is that common?

Speaker 2 (41:40):
Yeah, it's, um, you know it's.
It's a daily war that's gettingwaged between, like you said,
you know, between the publicyourself and sometimes your own
department, between the publicyourself and sometimes your own
department, um, which I'm sureyou know, you, you can attest to
.
Um, yeah, man, it's.
And again it all comes down tois this something that you're

(42:03):
really passionate about?
Is this something that you knowthey're all the shit?
Is this something that youreally want to, you really want
to do for the rest of your life?
Um, some people, yeah, theylove it.
Some people, they may want tostay on the job, maybe just find
a different department and gothat route, and some people just
say, you know what, fuck it,this isn't for me, and so I'm a

(42:24):
realist, bro, I'm a realist.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
I think in 2024 I haven't met too many happy cops
in 2024 yeah, um, and I do well.
I do have buddies that work foragencies in lower san diego or
south san diego yeah, um, and Ido well.
I do have buddies that work foragencies in lower san diego or
south san diego yeah, um, andthey seem to be happy.
But overall, ain't nobody likegetting disrespected on the
clock, bro, you know what I mean.
Or called out of your nameright right, man, and it's.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
Or subjected to physical assaults right, right,
right and it's, and it's.
Again, I know everydepartment's different on how
they handle shit, but it's, yeah, I mean being in law
enforcement in 2024, definitelyfor the week, it's it.
And it depends too because Imean, like I think you said it
earlier you know, it feels likeand it sounds like, at least in

(43:10):
california, that the pendulum isfinally starting to swing.
The other way Bro.

Speaker 1 (43:15):
the pendulum broke off into the Pacific Ocean like
fucking 15 years ago, bro.

Speaker 2 (43:20):
Never to be seen again.
Yeah, man, time will tell man.
But definitely, yeah, being acop in California, especially
right here in SouthernCalifornia, it's, it's it's its
own venture, it's its own entityCause I mean, like just next
door in Orange County, it's veryconservative and they're very
pro cop, yeah, and a lot, of, alot of cops will venture out to

(43:43):
like Anaheim PD or Orange Countysheriffs, things like that, and
you know the community reallydoes have a backing and they
like working there.
They're very, you know,proactive, you know again,
whereas other big entities in insouthern california it's, it's
not.
I was actually going to ask youlike how, or maybe you know,
you know, or at least talking tosome of the cops who are like
san diego pd and all that, likehow, how were they viewed like

(44:06):
with the public over here downhere?

Speaker 1 (44:08):
oh, we love them, dude, oh, yeah, we love them.
Like, yeah, bro, and I thinkand you, maybe you were talking
about the pendulum swinging back, I don't know if you're talking
about that part, but yeah, bro,they get the respect.
Say hi, you know, I make suremy daughter, she's six years old
, I make sure she tells him.
Thank you, okay.
Oh to during the whole what wasit, george floyd?
People were dropping off, uh,boxes of food or gift cards to

(44:31):
the police station.
So, yeah, wow, that's, that'sawesome.
They show support man, that'sgood.
Yeah, but then again, they'renot exactly beating the brakes
off of people out here.
You know what I mean.
Or that not deserving.
You know what I mean, rightright right.
Some people need to get theirass kicked, man.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
I'm sure the fucking public agrees with that yeah,
yeah, man, but it's, it's beenan adventure, but, um, but yeah,
I'm happy.
What I'm doing now, um, yeah, alot of the the stress and
bullshit that I was dealing withon a on a daily basis, it's,
it's gone away.
That's not to say I don't dealwith, you know.
You know other type of stressand shit in daily life.

(45:06):
It's just not quite to thelevel that it was and I feel
like my life's become morepositive.
I'm 10 times happier than I was.
I'm like I think we talkedabout earlier like I'm in a very
like Zen place.

Speaker 1 (45:19):
I'm at peace.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
You know I'm at peace with myself, I'm at peace with
my life and you know, I think atthe end of the day, you all
just got to find, we all got tofind our peace in our lives.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
So what would have been an ideal day on the job as
a police officer, Minus gettingcussed at spat on Like what
would have been ideal man, Justrolling up to regular calls and
maybe saving the day or beingsomebody's rock?
What would that have lookedlike for you?
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (45:43):
I mean it's any you know any given day it's you
don't know what the hell you'regoing to get into.
But you know, essentially beingthat person.
Who's you know, proactive?
You're taking guns off thestreet.
You're taking drugs off thestreet.
You're putting assholes awaywho deserve to be put away and
stay there.
You know if you can be, youknow if you could help some.

(46:04):
You know poor woman who'sgetting the shit beat out of her
old man.
You're helping some missingjuvenile who's you know been on
the run.
You're helping someone you knowyou're helping citizens.
Like what it's what you signedup to do, is what you took, the
0-4, you know, unfortunately itfeels like a lot of the time it
didn't feel that way, correct,and and again it's.

(46:24):
You know you start thinkingback is this, is this what I
signed up for?
Is it you know?
Is it you know despite how upfor?
Is it you know?
Is it you know despite howyou're, you know how you're seen
by the public, despite gettingcussed at, spit on, told how
much you ain't shit gettingmotherfucked every day, getting
bricks and bottles thrown at you, you know, to protect the

(46:46):
citizens of your city and it's,you know, it's, um, something
that we all have to think about.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
If you can say something to the public.
Maybe they have a misconceptionthat all cops are bastards.
Acab, all cops are pigs.
What would you say to thepublic?
Dude, yeah it's.

Speaker 2 (47:04):
Are you going to run into some fucking assholes who
are just, you know, have nobusiness being on the job?
Of course that comes with everyjob, job, every, doesn't matter
.
Your cops, firemen, correctionofficer, military star.
But yeah, exactly, you're gonnarun into assholes, dicks, who
have no business being on thejob.
The majority of cops firstresponders are good,

(47:27):
hard-working people who want tohelp.
Some come from who come fromgang-infested neighborhoods
growing up because they saw,sometimes they saw shit that
cops are doing back then andthey want to be part of the
change.
You know they want to helptheir community, they want to
serve and protect and that isthe majority of cops.
That's like 99 of cops.

(47:48):
And, of course, are you goingto have bad apples.
I know that's a fucking clichesaying of course it makes sense,
yeah of course, and you know itgives a bad name to the
majority of good, hard-workingcops, but you know we're all
human and you know it's themajority of cops are just,
they're good, hard-workingpeople.
I can attest to the people Iwork with, my department, my

(48:10):
unit.
I love every single one of themto death.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
I'd take a bullet for all of them and they're they're
good people, good cops speakingof taking a bullet man, did you
always have that thought inyour mind like hey, I can get
shot in the line of duty at anymoment?

Speaker 2 (48:26):
yeah, oh yeah.
I think it's something youdon't dwell on because you know
you drive yourself crazy.
But you know, when you'resigning up to be a cop because I
know you were you were militarytoo.
I mean you signed the dottedline, you know.
You know there's always thatthought in the back of your head
.
You know, leaving, kissing yoursignificant other, goodbye.
You know, is this the last timeI'm going to see him?

(48:49):
That thought's always in theback of your head.
Again, it's.
You don't know if you're goingto go home.
You don't know if you knowyou're going to take a bullet.
Is this the traffic stop whereit happens?
Is this the radio call whereshit goes sideways and I don't
make it home?
Oh yeah, it's a thought we allthink about.
If you know someone says theydon't think about it, you know
you're full of shit.

(49:09):
Because it does, it happens doyou think recruitment efforts
for police departments likedrastically dropped because of
what transpired during thosetime frames?
Oh, yeah, yeah, um gosh, Ithink they're trying to find
just warm bodies right now tofind for recruitment numbers.
At least that's what I heard.

(49:29):
Have they lowered the standard?

Speaker 1 (49:31):
oh, yeah, I think.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
So it's yeah.
Now it's just they're lookingfor people with a pulse, and so
now it's just yeah, and I'm surethey'll start.
They'll start picking back upat some point, but oh, shit, bro
.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
Were you there when they were hiring illegal aliens
for the?
Uh, for hey, this is apolitically incorrect channel,
man.
Illegal aliens for lepdofficers you what?

Speaker 2 (49:53):
I heard about that.
Did that come after you?
That was after me.
Holy shit.
I've been hearing a little bitabout that.
I don't know the details aboutit.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
They have to bench their gun when they go home
because clearly they're notallowed to carry it.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
Shit, is that what's going on?
Yeah, like I try to keep intouch a little bit here and
there about what's going on with, you know, with the LAPD and
the departments around, but Iwas hearing about that.
Yeah, man, nothing will piss meoff more than getting arrested
by an illegal bro.
Yeah, man, it's a new day andage man, especially in LA.

(50:28):
It's yeah, I mean, as far aslike recruitment goes, I mean
I'm not sure because I know wegot a new police chief.
I know New DA, a new DA.
So time will tell, time willtell and see how things go in
the city of LA.

Speaker 1 (50:42):
Wait a minute, man, and I don't dive into politics,
I don't.
But you just reminded me.
When you said DA chief, I thinkhe made a comment recently
about the new Trumpadministration coming in and him
not working with the feds toremove illegals.
But and of course that's notthe job of a police officer,
right?
But yeah, it just reminded meof that chief, if it's the same
one yeah, um, I know he came upfrom the sheriffs.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
I know nothing about him, right?
I just know he came from thesheriff's department.
Yeah, I know, uh, yeah, I knowthose.
Those are some of the commentsthat he was saying regarding you
know.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
So it was that dude, I believe so.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
Yeah, I believe it was him regarding, like you know
, we're not going to be part oflike the sweeps or anything like
that with ICE, homelandSecurity, things like that.
But even then, like again, itwasn't really our job in the
first place to say to cops toyou know, I never saw, I never
took part of like any raids oranything like that regarding
illegal immigration, right, likethat regarding illegal

(51:35):
immigration, right, um, but yeah, again, I think he just because
there's this public perception,I think that you know, as soon
as trump comes in office, allcops are going to be out.
Yeah you know, but yeah that's,that's never been us.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
It's wasn't what we were set out to do.
So.
I'm assuming you love losangeles, man, you love the city,
you love the weather did partof that change, or did you lose
a little bit of that as a resultof your experiences in that
city?

Speaker 2 (52:00):
I think it's gotten better the farther I've kind of
gotten away from the job.
I mean, I still love the city,I love where I'm at.
As far as like the politics ofit.
It's you know, it's not themost favorable for law
enforcement and it's not.
Well.
I'll say this.
I think a silent majority dowant cops.

(52:21):
It's just this vocal minoritythat makes it sound like the
entire city hates cops, Um, butI still love the city.
I love where I'm at, Um, yeah,it's.
It's still kind of hit and misswith me.
There's some days where I'mlike, oh, you know what, Like I
said, maybe the pendulum'schanging.

(52:41):
Then other days, I see shit onTV and it's like fuck man, here
we go again.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
I don't know why I feel like I gotta add this, but
I always thought if I was aChicago police officer I would
just park in the back of a7-eleven all night long and just
respond, fucking an hour aftera call went out you know, man,
that's it feels like and again,I can't speak for other officers
, or you know what's, what'sjust been going on, but I think
a lot of a lot of cops.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
It's gotten to the point where it's like that's.
That's where it's become likeit's, rather than being
proactive, getting guns on thestreet, which is what some cops
do, it's become Like it's,rather than being proactive,
getting guns on the street,which is what some cops do, it's
this secondary fear of if I goout and even do my job, I'm
going to get fucked somehow,either by the department or the
DA, which now he's gone, butit's like, you know, I'm going

(53:27):
to get prosecuted for doing myjob, even though I am.
It's like yeah, and it's likeyeah, and it's the point where
you know a lot of cops.
Well, you know, I'm just goingto handle the box.
I mean just like, hey, a radiocall comes out, all right,
handle it.
As soon as that's done, boom isthat the terminology for it?

Speaker 1 (53:42):
handle the box?
Handle the box?
What?

Speaker 2 (53:45):
is that handle the box?
Meaning like radio call comesout.
Yeah, you're on the radio likethe box, so like oh, I like that
style, bro, yeah, and the box,I mean like you handle radio
calls, that's it.
No productivity, no trafficstops, anything like that how
many calls a day?

Speaker 1 (54:02):
how many calls a shift?
I mean, is it like where youcan't get to all of them?

Speaker 2 (54:06):
yeah, I mean it depends on any given day and it
depends on what area of the cityyou work.
Um, if you're working like westla or where I was working like
pacific division, you know somedays and especially it depends
too on like the summertime,wintertime um, there are some
days like in the winter and I'mworking like venice beach,
specifically within my unitthere was times where you have

(54:29):
maybe one call the entire12-hour shift and like this is
during the wintertime.
You know, and I work graveyardstoo, so you're working like
there was times where you havemaybe one call the entire
12-hour shift and this is duringthe wintertime.
And I work graveyards too, soyou're working like 4 pm to 4 am
and other times where in thesummertime it's one of the
biggest tourist attractions inthe globe.
You got 20, 30, if I call.
You got someone's getting theshit beat out of them on the

(54:50):
beach.
You got domestic violence, yougot an OD.
You got a possible kidnap andyou got you know a two, 11 in
progress.
Someone's getting stabbed,someone's getting shot, and you
know the box is just going crazyand you know you try to handle.
You handle.
The radio call Okay, good, boomOnto the next one, and it's
just nonstop throughout theentire day.

Speaker 1 (55:09):
Is it a computer screen?
You guys a monitor?

Speaker 2 (55:11):
yeah, yeah, yeah, we have yeah, we have a monitor and
you know you have like what'sknown as um, a beat, or where
you, you patrol and so callscoming out.
You know left and right, youknow you know you got to take
what's in your area.
Sometimes you know it's knownas code three calls.
So lights and sirens, emergencywhether it's.
You know, like I said, missingjuvenile big ones were like with

(55:34):
us just because there'sthousands and thousands of
people on Venice Beach.
So a lot of things that tookplace were, you know, critical
missings, like missing juveniles, or maybe someone with
developmental disabilities who'sgone missing, wandered off.
Or you got 211s, which is, youknow, robbery, a lot of these
tourists getting robbed atgunpoint.
You got homeless people.

(55:55):
You got the you know thehomeless encampments that
they're stabbing, they'reshooting each other, they're
od'ing in their tents.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
So it's, it was the circus man dude what about major
holidays like fourth of july orlabor day weekend.
Just get fucking packed oh forsure.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
Yeah, um, and again, that's another, another
challenge that came with workinga very packed place that's, you
know you got thousands oftourists walking around.
It's being able to navigateyourself within you know your
own area without you knowrunning over someone, because
there were a couple of times youknow cops, you know a homeless

(56:30):
was taking a nap in the sand and, oh shit, that wasn't a speed
bump, did it kill him, or it'skind of fucked him up a little
bit no, a couple times.
I think it was both yeah yeah,um, but again it was just yeah,
craziness, that's one way toclean up the fucking home oh man
, that's yeah.

(56:50):
The homeless itself, that'scould be its own episode.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
So tell us now what you're doing now, bro, and how
you found your passion behind it.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
Yeah, so eventually what I want to do is work
full-time with first respondersmilitary but right now, since
I'm still somewhat fresh out ofgrad school, it's been about a
year, year and a half.
Right now I'm a clinicaltherapist working with strictly
civilians with developmentaldisabilities.
So that can run the gamut fromit could be mild intellectual

(57:23):
disabilities to paranoid,schizophrenic, borderline
personality disorders, suicidalideations, borderline
personality disorders, suicidalideations.
It's my job to find a treatmentplan and treatment goals that
work for them.
And so again, it runs thegambit.
It could be something as simpleas oh, they have problems with

(57:47):
hygiene, all the way to.
They have trauma from being sextrafficked.
They were molested, you know,witnessed domestic violence.
They witnessed, you knowthey're homeless.
So it's a mix of, it's a grabbag of everything that you know.

(58:08):
Everyone is its own unique case.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
But you know I'm happy to be doing it.
Are you trying to grow that?
Are you trying to venture offand do something else?
Because you got code threeindustries going on trying to
merge the two?

Speaker 2 (58:21):
so right now I feel like I'm still kind of, um, I'm
getting my feet wet as aprofessional, as a clinical
therapist.
So right now it's like I'm I'mtrying to add as many tools to
my tool bag right now.
So, right now, now I'm workingwith developmental disabilities
population and then maybeworking in the prisons next and
then maybe working at a privatepractice with just first

(58:42):
responders.
So it's good with that becauseyou get different perspectives,
you get to see, you get to growas a professional.
But, yeah, eventually I wouldlike to, uh, like what you're
saying.
Code three industries is.
It's my own instagram page andsomething that I started.
It's primarily I wanted to doit, um, for first responders,

(59:02):
similar to what you know what'sgoing on here.
I wanted to be able to to havea podcast and to have a platform
for guys like you, for firstresponders military um
supporters, advocates,psychiatrists, psychologists,
different people giving theirtakes, with not only their own
personal stories, but being ableto have a platform for first

(59:23):
responders, too, to tell theirstories about what life on the
job is really like strugglesthat they've had, ptsd, trauma,
everything that they go throughand so I wanted to be able to
give that platform to peoplelike me who have struggled and
being able to let them tell theraw, unfiltered stories about
what life is like as a firstresponder, yeah, it's
therapeutic also to get it offyour chest, man, and air it out.

(59:44):
Oh, exactly and again youbrought up a really good point.
That's what I wanted to,because I know a lot of the
times it feels like when you'regoing through shit like this,
you feel very isolated, like I'mthe only one going through it.
You know, if it meant, if itmeans that you know someone can
share their story and helpsomeone out there who's going
through the same shit that theyare and they feel like they can
reach out for help, or if I canhelp them reach out for help in

(01:00:06):
some way.
Somehow.
You know that's that's exactlywhat I want Code 3 Industries to
be about.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
That's awesome dude.
I see the growth man.
I see the potential for you toblow up massive bro.

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
Oh, thank you, man, I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
Where can people find you dude social media-wise?

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Yeah, at Code 3 Industries on Instagram.
I also have a YouTube page thatand, again, I'm still brand new
, so I'm trying to blow it up asmuch as I can At Code 3
Industries on youtube as well.
Um, those are my two.
Right now I'm trying to umexpand a little bit via social
media so for future guests.

Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
You want to hit you up in the dm?

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
shoot you a message, yeah yeah, shoot me a message um
gmail, dm.
Yeah, either yeah, on instagramor youtube.
Um, nick lopez is my one.
That's my other Instagram name.
But, yeah, please feel free ifI can help you in any way or,
you know, feel like if you wantto be a guest, or even if you
just want to talk about shitthat you've been through, or

(01:01:02):
feel like you can, you know, tryto find some help.
I'd be more than happy to reachout or try to talk to as many
people as I can.

Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
It's awesome, dude.
You have any closing words forthe audience man.
Any last words you want to say,you can say anything.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
The floor is yours, dude.
Um, oh, first, I mean thank youfor having me.
This has been awesome.
Um, any last words.
As far as you know what, um, ifyou're suffering, seek help.
I mean that, um, life's tooshort to go through that much
bullshit Like, don't be afraidto reach out for help.
I know sometimes us in this job, whether it's the machismo, the

(01:01:41):
stigma, you know we suffer insilence a lot and don't be
afraid to reach out for help.
You know, sometimes we justneed someone either to listen to
us or sometimes we just need ahelping hand, so much as we
don't like to admit it.
You know, don't be afraid to uh, to reach out and get the help
you need damn dude.

Speaker 1 (01:02:03):
Thanks for coming on the show, bro.
I appreciate it.
I'm excited to watch you growman, and all the thank you, I'm
happy you left that career fieldand and found your your purpose
.
Dude.

Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
Thank you, man, I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
Cool, thank you for having me, of course, man.
Well, there you guys have it,folks.
Another banger man.
If you guys like what you watch, make sure you subscribe at the
bottom and we're going to keepmore episodes coming.
Thank you, keep pushing forward.
You've been listening to HectorBravo Unhinged.
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