Hello Hayes

Hello Hayes

Hayes is a natural-born advice giver, and luckily, that's exactly what she’s here to offer you every week. What began as a viral internet advice column has grown into something so much bigger — a space for thoughtful conversations about friendship, relationships, and the messiness of being human. On the Hello Hayes podcast, writer and advice columnist Alexandra Hayes Robinson ("Hayes") shares her signature mix of wisdom, humor, and empathy. Whether she’s answering listener letters, unpacking life’s “ugly feelings,” or reflecting on her own experiences, Hayes makes you feel seen — and maybe even a little more prepared to face whatever’s on your mind. New episodes every week. Come for the advice, stay for the friendship. Send letters to hellohayesadvice@gmail.com

Episodes

May 27, 2025 34 mins
Today we’re talking about the healing power of books — specifically 9 books (fiction and non-fiction) that have helped me heal over the past year. The first half of this episode is a rapid-fire review of eight of my favorites, and in the second half, I do a deep dive on the book I’m currently reading: THE MYTH OF NORMAL by Dr. Gabor Maté. If you’re feeling stuck, burned out, or ready to grow emotionally, these books can support yo...
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Everyone wants (and) deserves an inner circle full of people they trust, but sometimes we get in our way own while searching for them. In this episode, we're talking about the three main ways we sabotage building our inner circle, how we can begin to properly build our inner circle brick by brick, and at the end, I'm answering an advice submission from someone who feels like everyone else has tight knit friends except for them. Enj...
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Flaky friendships are tricky. Sometimes it’s about priorities, sometimes it’s burnout, and sometimes… it’s just poor communication. In this rapid-fire Q+A, I’m answering your questions about what it really means when friends flake — and how to tell the difference between a friendship worth saving and one that’s run its course. Thank you to everyone who submitted on Instagram! (https://www.instagram.com/afhayes) This episode was ac...
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Soooo, my husband bribed me to run a 10K for diamond earrings. That's SIX POINT FOUR MILES! But this episode isn’t really about running. It’s about love, discomfort, and doing things you’re not good at…on purpose. In this episode of Hello Hayes, we talk about why I said yes to something I hate, what it means to show interest in your partner’s world, and why it's worth stepping outside your comfort zone. Whether you're a runner or n...
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In this episode of Hello Hayes, I'm unpacking one of the most common — and surprisingly complicated — questions I get when I tell people I moved across the country: "Have you made a lot of friends?" I share why that question trips me up, how my answer has evolved after moving to a new city, and why focusing on the amount of friendships might not be the most helpful way to think about building your life. Whether you're trying to ma...
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April 22, 2025 33 mins
In this episode, I tell you all about why Brian and I decided to adopt a dog and give you an honest recap of what the first week has been like. We dive into the wonderful parts...and the parts that are truly scaring the shit out of me. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This week on the Hello Hayes pod, I'm reflecting on my beliefs about Botox. Why haven’t I done it yet? Is it moral superiority or genuine disinterest? No final answers here, just honest questions and an eyebrow or two (literally) raised. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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April 8, 2025 54 mins
What do you do when something doesn’t sit right, but addressing it feels risky? In this episode of Hello Hayes, I’m answering three advice letters that circle around one big question: Should I speak up, or move on? We’re talking about backhanded compliments, financial secrets, flaky friendships, and the moment you start to wonder if you’re asking too much — or just finally seeing things clearly. If you’ve ever questioned whether to...
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April 1, 2025 63 mins
Is therapy making everyone selfish? A friend asked me this question the other day...and I have thoughts. So in this episode of the Hello Hayes podcast, I’m sharing my personal journey with therapy and tackling your biggest therapy questions — from knowing when therapy is working to dealing with therapists who overshare, and the fear of facing what you might find out about yourself. Let's dive in :)  Learn more about your ad choices...
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in this episode, I’m sharing 12 lessons I learned at 31 that helped me get to a happier place — from rethinking success and letting my friends show up for me, to embracing fear and finding joy in the little moments. Whether you’re in your 20s, 30s, or just navigating life, I hope these lessons help you find happiness, too. 💛 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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March 18, 2025 45 mins
It's the Hello Hayes Guide to Giving Good Advice! If you’ve ever struggled with knowing what to say when a friend asks for guidance (or felt frustrated when someone gave you bad advice), this episode is for you. As an advice columnist (Hello Hayes), I’ve spent years answering your letters and helping people navigate life’s toughest situations. In this episode, I’m breaking down how to actually help YOUR people — without being overb...
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[Originally published on YouTube.] Introducing, the Hello Hayes Six Besties Theory. This friendship theory has changed my life and I’m so excited to share it with you. In this explainer video, we’re diving deep into the six essential bestie archetypes: The North Star, The Seasonal, The Good Time, The OG, The Dead Body, and The Work Bestie. But this isn’t just a list! By the end of the video, you'll learn the real life scenarios tha...
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We all have feelings we wish we didn’t. Jealousy, resentment, comparison...the kind of emotions that make us feel a little gross, even though they’re totally human. In this advice column episode, I’m answering three Hello Hayes advice letters about: 💔 A former friend struggling to let go of resentment toward their ex-best friend’s success 🤰 A woman grieving a miscarriage while navigating her cousin’s pregnancy (TW: See timestamp...
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March 4, 2025 48 mins
Can my significant other or sibling be my best friend? Do North Star besties have to be reciprocal? Is there any type of friend who I can expect to text every day? In this episode, I’m answering your most frequently asked questions about my Six Besties Theory! If you're not familiar with the theory, you can watch my Six Besties, Explained video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY5v2LreUrU&t=1s Learn more about your ad choices....
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February 18, 2025 39 mins
this week we're talking about sibling relationships, age gaps, and growing up with divorce. I recently posted about the 8.5 year age gap between me and my younger brother, and how, as a kid, I often felt like a third parent to both of my siblings (can't forget my sister, the sweet middle child!). i wrote that this dynamic has definitely impacted our sibling relationship today, as well as my own feelings about becoming a mom. i was ...
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January 28, 2025 55 mins
my loves, welcome back! after taking a much-needed podcasting break, I’m back with a reimagined vision for the Hello Hayes pod. in this episode, I share why I almost walked away for good and the lessons I learned about failure, growth, and change. plus, I answer an advice submission about finding direction in life when you feel like you’re starting from square one. whether you’re navigating your own reset or just need a little insp...
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November 26, 2024 4 mins
See you next year, Hayeselnuts! Hello Hayes survey: https://forms.gle/Jtv2BKr2Wafy75gh6 In the meantime, connect with me on Substack, YouTube, and Instagram. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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November 12, 2024 60 mins
In this episode of Hello Hayes, we're talking about long distance friendship: how to make friends when you move somewhere new, but also, how to maintain the friendships that are now separated by miles and miles and miles. Hayes invites one of her North Star besties Matt onto the show to discuss. References: Dear Noah: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfAzhnguXBc 00:00 Cold open 00:42 Topic intro: Long-distance Friendships 2:23 Mee...
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November 5, 2024 54 mins
[Watch on YouTube.] This week on Hello Hayes, we're talking about flaky friends. Hayes answers three advice submissions about a distant childhood friend, feeling disconnected from your single besties, and how to deal with someone who always cancels. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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(Watch on YouTube.) This week on Hello Hayes, I'm answering an advice letter....from myself. After experiencing what I call a "grief explosion" last week, I needed to give myself some advice. Thanks for being here while I talk it out with you. Crying is OK. Grieving is OK. Trying new things is OK. Planning to protect yourself...is OK!!! Please let me know what you thought of this episode. If it goes well for all of us, I might inco...
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