June 6, 2024 • 55 mins
Can a consistent breakfast routine really simplify your life and help you manage your calories effortlessly? Join us on this flavorful journey as we explore the art of crafting the perfect breakfast sandwich, balance taste with health, and navigate the tricky world of indulgent condiments. We also step into Bryan's Beverage Corner to uncover the joys of a cheater nitro cold brew and the guilt-free pleasures of Coke Zero, all while stressing the importance of moderation. This is a tale of routine and culinary passion that might just change your mornings forever.
Ever wondered why a single Nitro cold brew can keep some people awake until the wee hours? Listen as we share hilarious coffee shop escapades, including a caffeine-induced sleepless night and the endearing frustration of an infrequent Starbucks visitor. Discover the unique charm of the Fainting Goat coffee shop with its Star Wars-themed drinks and learn why a decaf latte topped with chocolate cold foam could be your new favorite treat. These stories weave humor and insight, revealing the quirks of coffee culture and the simple joys of a well-chosen breakfast.
What does Theodore Roosevelt's wisdom have to do with modern stress and personal growth? Reflect on the timeless relevance of his words as we delve into the battle between the inner critic and the man in the arena. We'll examine the value of failure, the stress of contemporary life, and how recalibrating our reactions can lead to better outcomes. Drawing inspiration from Brene Brown's "Daring Greatly," we emphasize the importance of enthusiasm and purpose in work, and the often difficult task of accepting praise. This episode promises a rich blend of humor, practical advice, and deep reflections designed to inspire and entertain.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Help Yourself.
Food and Philosophy with Brianand Nick.
I'm Nick and I'm Brian.
People criticize the Roman thathad to crucify Jesus, but I
think he nailed it.
What you eating, brian?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Gosh.
Wow, like that's very divisive.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Stalin said that dark humor is like food.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Not everyone gets it okay well what you eating, bro,
starting out with with the uh,dark jesus joke that's.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
That's a good way for some people believe Jesus was
dark skin.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
All right, Serious, serious podcasting, All right.
Uh, what am I eating?
Well, this morning I hadbreakfast, of course, and I have
been in such a rut because I'vebeen basically just eating the
same thing every morning, whichis partially helping me with
(01:13):
diet, Kind of like making sureI'm not gaining weight is one of
the easy ways is and uh, if you, the audience still remembers
uh, Austin, who was on our youknow our uh episode quite some
time ago talking about fitness,they sit, keeping your you know
what you eat the same every dayis an easy way to do things
(01:36):
without having to like journalyour food, Because if you know
exactly what you're eating, youeat the same thing every day.
Then you don't have the oh gosh, what, how many calories?
Is what do I?
Do?
You just figure it out once andthen, you just do that.
The question is whether or notyou can do it every day or not,
whether you can like overcomethe voice in your head that,
(01:57):
basically, is telling you likewhy?
Why are you eating this again?
We just had this yesterday.
Why don't you eat somethingelse?
Or you know, know, do somethinglike that.
And I'll say that my, mydownfall in it is that I like
sauces and condiments and thingslike that, and you don't
realize how much sauces andcondiments can add, especially
(02:18):
if you're you're adding likecreamy kind of sauces and things
like that.
And I've talked prettyextensively about my mayonnaise
obsession, so that can play intoit as well.
So I try to not add anything toit, but a lot of times I do so.
(02:38):
Then it sort of throws that outthe window a little bit.
But this morning I had abreakfast sandwich that was just
a like a English muffin,sausage, cheese, egg and I've
come up with a very clever wayto cook it and make sure that
everything gets warm where it'ssupposed to get warm and
everything gets toasty whereit's supposed to get toasty and
all that stuff.
(02:58):
But then I also add usually anextra slice of cheese to it.
So um adds a little bit ofcalories, but there it's.
You know, for me a lot of timesit's about the process of the
cooking of the the sandwich.
So I disassemble the wholething, I toast the English
muffin, I take the sausage andthe egg and I put that
(03:21):
separately, because if you putthe egg in the cheese then the
cheese is going to melt too muchin the heating of the egg and
the sausage and I don't wantthat to be like melty and crusty
and hard, so do that.
And then I put it all backtogether, wrap it all in a paper
towel and then I heat it likeone last final heat so that it
comes out like a McDonald, likea McDonald's sandwich or
(03:43):
something like that.
So so really, really good.
Uh, where you can, where youcan change it up, is like change
different kinds of cheese.
So add a slice of pepper Jackif you want, to add a slice of
provolone instead of cheddar orsomething like that, and you get
a little bit different flavorfrom it.
So, but I have to limit myselfto not go too crazy about all of
(04:04):
the add additions, becauseotherwise I'll take like a 250
calorie sandwich and I'll turnit into like a five or 600
calorie sandwich and that's notgood.
So so, yeah, uh, not a veryexciting breakfast, but I've
been trying to do that as muchas I can, uh, just to make it
easy on me in terms of keepingtrack of, like, what I've had to
(04:25):
eat.
So, and then my Brian's beveragecorner.
Uh, I, this this morning.
I actually have had two cups ofcoffee today and I've been
doing I know I've been doing myown cheater nitro cold brew, not
really nitro, but, um, coldbrew that you just buy in the
supermarket out of the.
You know that's in the bottleand I try not.
(04:48):
I usually don't use theconcentrated ones that you have
to like dilute with water, so Ijust use the ones you can just
pour in and put it in a new cup.
So I usually put it in a cupwith some ice, and then I have
some different kinds of creamersthat I use.
The one I used today was aCoffee Mate coffee mate duos and
it's a.
It was it's vanilla and caramel, so it's like a double flavor
(05:13):
that they do some kind of magic.
I don't know how they put twoflavors in there, but not my job
.
So I had, I've had two cups ofcoffee, so hopefully I'm not
over caffeinated, because thenext thing also has caffeine is
I'm drinking a Coca-Cola zero,which is again another boring
thing I've talked about all thetime.
But recently I have gotten Idon't know sort of into drinking
(05:37):
a Coke zero two or three timesa week.
I don't know why.
I just I drank one at one pointand then I was like, wow, that
was really good.
And then, like two days later,I'm like I'm going to have
another one.
And the other thing is isavailability, is all the offices
that I work in they always haveCoke zeros in the fridge.
So the availability plus megoing oh, that's sort of good is
means that now I have a littlebit of a habit that I'm trying
(05:59):
to make sure I don't again gotoo overboard.
I don't again go too overboard.
I don't want to end up drinkingtwo or three coke zeros a day,
um, but I'll have one with lunch, yeah, exactly exactly so, um.
And then I've got my trusty uhiron flask, f degree, fahrenheit
(06:21):
degree thing, full of water,because hydration is important.
So so that's where I'm at today, right now.
What about you?
What are you eating?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
We went to Starbucks.
Actually, I've been toStarbucks two days in a row.
I want to mention this before Iforget, as you know, Brian the
day before this recording today,I had a Nitro cold brew.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
And I have had or have stopped taking in caffeine
from coffee because I seem tohave developed a sensitivity to
it Like just more and more.
I'm staying up late very easily.
So by doing that I've alsoincreased my sensitivity to
(07:17):
caffeine.
So even though I had that nitroin the morning and had no other
coffee or caffeine the rest ofthat day, I was up until three
easily, like oh gosh yawning,not feeling tired, having full
mental faculties carrying onconversations and just fully
(07:37):
engaged in the wake.
So that was rough.
I have no.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
I don't think.
I have a recollection of thelast time I was up till 3 am.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Well, neither do I, oddly enough.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
That's crazy, though.
I wonder why that is.
I wonder why, like, do youthink that it's like just so,
it's just like you've justoverloaded your system, or do
you think that part of it isthat part of it is you stay up.
You tend to stay up a littlebit late anyway, um, not that
late, but you tend to stay up alittle bit later.
And I say late for me, becauseI go to bed early.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
So yeah, I'm sure it's a combination of factors
and like that plays into it.
There's the fact that I'veincreased my sensitivity to
caffeine by coming off of it, sothe times I do take it can be
kind of rough.
As far as today, though, whenwe went to Starbucks, I got some
(08:37):
bacon and cheese bites.
Oh nice, those are prettysimilar to your breakfast,
except the sandwich part.
Yes, nice.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Those are pretty similar to your breakfast,
except the sandwich part.
Yes, yeah, those are good.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Take a chance at pronouncing it.
I have asked them before likehow to pronounce it a couple of
times.
One barista didn't know, theother one did and told me, but I
then forgot.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
So you better be careful though because Go ahead.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
I was just going to say you better be careful though
because go ahead.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I was just gonna say you better be careful because
they'll they'll start callingyou like the gruyere guy or
whatever.
Like you'll walk in and be like, hey, what's up?
Gruyere, you know, I hope notsorry, I interrupted you.
What were you saying?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
you're good.
So you know.
They put a little sticker on.
You know the stuff they handyou after right part of like
their process to make sure theydon't get stuff mixed up yeah
and on there it just says baconegg bites.
That's, that's all it says onthe sticker is bacon egg bites,
but they've got this fancy wordfor cheese right a little accent
(09:43):
over one of the letters youknow on the menu, but that's in
bolts, it's just bacon egg bitesI know my wife was.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
just she went to she doesn't drink coffee, so she.
But she went to starbucksrecently because some of her
friends were there and she cameback and she was complaining a
little bit because she's likethey just don't have any
sympathy for somebody thatdoesn't show up, like, doesn't
go there all the time, like yousay something wrong on the menu,
and they're like, uh, do youmean a venti or do you mean uh?
And you're just like I don'tknow, I want the medium, like
(10:11):
what's the middle one?
Like just give me that one, youknow.
And so she was.
She was frustrated because forthose of you listening and also
you, nick, you know this thislikes the system, cause you go
there often but they come outand they call the order and they
put it down in the little areawhere you pick your orders up.
And well, she didn't know anyof that.
So she's just like sitting ather table, they didn't call her
name, they just put down hersandwich and said cafe order.
(10:35):
And she didn't know that thatwas anything, and so she was
like oh, is that mine?
And she's like, yeah, did youhave the cafe order?
And she's like I don't know, Igot a sandwich, is that cafe
Like?
She's like I don't go here.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Like you know, Wow, so like yeah, that Starbucks has
maybe a bit of an attitude andmaybe they don't often get food
orders.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yeah, well, on that note, I got to have you come out
to near where I am becausethere's a cool coffee shop out
here called the Fainting Goatand they have almost I would say
almost all but a lot.
If you look up their menu, alot of their drinks are Star
Wars themed and they have like ahuge Star Wars like theme to
(11:22):
the whole thing, like they havelots of.
So like one of the one that Iget is a car, it's called
carbonite and it's a iced coffeewith um cold foam on top of it,
so like the, basically it's alike black iced coffee and then
they just put the foam on topand then over time that like
filters down and like mixes withthe coffee.
But when you get it it's black,all black on the bottom and
(11:44):
totally white on the top and uh,and yeah sounds pretty yeah,
and they have got.
They've got good food andthey've got all kinds of stuff.
Yeah, I know I think I've been.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I've been to fancy goat once before, and then they
started in spring hill I thinkyou're right.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Yes, yes, I'm naming.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I'm naming geographic areas.
That's bad that's okay I'vebeen, just I've been to that
place before yeah, and then theydid just open one in franklin
so yeah got it.
And then to drink, I simply gottheir espresso decaf latte or a
latte decaf um with just a hintof sweet cream, and then put
(12:30):
their chocolate cold foam on top.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Do you find that it's ?
Speaker 1 (12:35):
better for you now that you're doing the decaf.
Oh, definitely.
Yeah.
It does mean that I get sleepyat weird times.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Yeah, partly cause I'm so sleep deprived and I
don't have the caffeine to kindof kick me through the day, and
it's like there's still parts ofme that expects the coffee to
give me energy and yeah I'msurprised when I get drained,
but I've noticed that becausewhen I I did that same thing
when it, when I dialed mycaffeine back, like when I was
(13:06):
trying to not drink as much inany given day, um, same thing
happened to me, like at weirdtimes in the day.
I'll just be like what?
Why?
Like, I feel like I couldliterally lay down immediately
and fall asleep.
You know, like it was just verystrange, but you sort of get
used to it after a while.
And then I think the key to itis talking, like we always talk
(13:29):
about, like the habitual natureof it.
Basically, like you got to doit.
You got to like, for the firstlittle while, you have to do it
exactly at the same time everyday, like here's what my routine
is I get up, I do go to the gym, I do this, and then this is
when the coffee comes in thepicture.
This is when the coffee comesin the picture, this is when the
caffeine comes in the picture,and you do it exactly the same
time every day for a certainamount of time, and then your
body starts to go oh, okay,that's when the caffeine comes.
(13:49):
Okay, got it, you know, um, butthat's that.
Therein lies the very hardthing that we all have to deal
with, which is really we shouldbe like making everything a
routine, but as humans, we'renot like that, right.
So we're, we're very.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
We crave differences a little bit, you know it is
weird that we we are kind ofcreatures of habit, but we're
also novelty seeking, right?
Yeah Well, I think it's.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
I think it's also like I mean not to get, we're
Well.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I think it's also like I mean not to get.
This isn't even getting intoour topic yet, but I think we
get to a point.
No, this is dead okay.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
We can do whatever we want.
No, I think that's funnybecause you know you, like you
said, you know, I think that weare creatures of habit but we
sort of seek the novelty.
Creatures of habit, but we, wesort of seek the novelty, but I
also think it's.
We have a natural like, anatural affinity or not affinity
(14:54):
is, affinity is not the rightword.
We have a natural, I think,tendency to want to like, resist
when somebody is like you'regoing to do this, like at this
time, and you're going to dothis at this time and like every
day.
And then I think, naturally, atsome point, you're like no, I
don't want to do that at thattime, I want to do this at this
time and like every day.
And then I think, naturally, atsome point, you're like no, I
don't want to do that at thattime, I want to do it at this
time, like, and I'm going to,I'm a grown adult and I could do
it, you know, and so I think Ithink we could.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
I'm a big boy.
I go to bed when I want.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Right, exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Like don't tell you what I want to do, and I want to
tell you what I want to do?
Speaker 3 (15:28):
I'm the inner voice here.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
No, I'm the inner voice.
Oh man, hi, we're clinicallyinsane.
Welcome to our podcast.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yeah, and we should, oh, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Not only do we talk to ourselves, ourselves,
ourselves, ourselves ourselves,that we talk to talk to each
other.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
And the thing that I was going to say is that, you
know, we yeah, I forgot what Iwas going to say, but I think we
were talking about like innervoice, and you know sort of how
that plays in.
Well, so that's that couldsegue into our topic I think
(16:13):
well so you want to, you want togive it the, the, uh, the intro
yeah, I'll do my best well I'llmake an effort.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I can't say it's my best A for effort, just being
super self-critical right now,the so pivoting off of inner
voice and sort of an innercritic of sorts.
There was a gentleman in Brianand I's Toastmaster group who
(16:42):
shared the quote that he and Iknow and love, but it's just
going to be reminded of and Ithink it's worth exploring it's
the quote it's almost a poemreally, but from Teddy Roosevelt
, about the man in the arena.
I'll do my best rendition of it.
(17:04):
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how
the strong man stumbles orwhere the doer of deeds could
have done them better.
The credit belongs to the manwho is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust andsweat and blood, who strives
(17:26):
valiantly, who errs, who comesshort again and again because
there is no effort without errorand shortcoming, but who does
actually strive to do the deeds,who knows great enthusiasms,
the great devotions, who spendshimself in a worthy cause, who,
(17:52):
at the best, knows, in the end,the triumph of high achievement
and who, at the worst, if hefails, at least fails while
daring greatly, so that hisplace shall never be with those
cold and timid souls who neitherknow victory nor defeat.
So yeah, there you go very,very powerful yeah, it's, it's.
(18:21):
It's something I needed to hear.
I've I've been fairly down anddumpy and certainly leaning more
on the side of cold and timidsouls.
Yeah, so, like this was a goodlittle kick in the pants, a
(18:43):
reminder of who I can be and whoI have been.
You know, the man in the arena,so to speak.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Yeah, and I think I mean this is obviously as you,
and I love the quotes.
You know this is a long formkind of quote which is, as you
said, almost like a poem, but ithas so much in it I love.
I love succinct wisdom.
You know things that are acouple of things that you can
take and you can either look atthem in their context.
(19:14):
So you could do the study ofTheodore Roosevelt and you could
say what was the context ofthis and you could go into that
and I bet you it has a huge deepmeaning there.
But you can also take it out ofcontext and use it for your own
purposes, because there's somuch general or generic or
usable wisdom that can apply toso many different things, usable
(19:37):
wisdom that can apply to somany different things.
I also think it's crazy thatthis is a hundred and twenty
four year old quote and it'sstill as valid today as it is,
as it was when he said it.
It also Makes me think of someof the things we talked about in
the in our previous episodesthe, the not confirmation.
The cognitive biases, the oneabout that we had Ed Zinkowitz
(20:00):
on for the.
You know the.
The world's getting worse andworse.
You know, declinism, declinismTo me.
Whenever I think of that orstart thinking like, oh man,
it's so much harder now.
It's.
So we have different stressesand and we have different.
And then you read a quote likethis and you go, wow, they just
they had the same stresses thatwe had.
(20:20):
They just didn't have cellphones and they didn't have.
You know, they didn't have someof the things we have, but they
had the same stresses and thatmeant the same thing to those
people 120, I mean 100 andwhatever 14 years ago.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
And instead of getting new tires, they had to
get new shoes for their horse.
Right yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
I mean it's yeah, it's, and it's that that, to me,
makes me feel connected tohumanity If that makes sense, or
connected to it, makes me feelnormal.
It makes me feel like wheneverI read things like this, it
makes me feel normal.
It makes me feel like wheneverI read things like this, it
makes me feel like, oh, I, I I'mgoing through the same things
(21:00):
that they went through you know50, 75, 100, 200, 300, you know,
because even if you read marcusaurelius and some of the other
stuff that we've gone over, itshows I think it just indicates
that they were going through thesame mental processes that we
were going through.
They're, like all of the thingsand you know, dealing with the
same worries and concerns and,oh, am I good enough?
(21:24):
Or self-esteem, or all thisstuff.
Maybe they didn't have thenames for them, but they're
going through the same stuff.
So it makes me like.
It makes me feel like, insteadof what I had felt like or have
felt like in my life, of beingabnormal, like, oh, everyone
else has got their stufftogether, but I don't, for some
reason.
It's like how come Then youread stuff like this, or like
(21:46):
how to stop worrying and startliving, or some of the other
things and you go, oh okay, wait, I'm dealing with the same
stuff, so I know I'm beingrepetitive, but just me, yeah,
and I think that goes a samestuff.
So I know I'm being repetitive,but just me, yeah, and and I
think that I think that goes along way to like this is the
perfect episode for both of us,so that you said that that leads
(22:09):
a long way or that goes a longway to, to what?
It, it, no, it just it just goesa long way to, uh, to begin the
process of getting better, like, which is what we always talk
about.
How do you get better?
How well, one of the firstthings you need to do is realize
you're not abnormal, like,there's nothing like that.
(22:30):
You have the tools that youneed in order to move forward.
Um, you know, you know short ofshort of some other things that
we've talked about on the, onthe podcast.
You know some mentaldisabilities, some, obviously,
brain deficiencies, things likethat that are physical things,
but you know you have basicallythat's what.
I think that's the first partof it.
It's like the recognizing thepro.
(22:51):
There's a problem, you know.
It's like recognizing thatyou're absolutely normal.
You just need to work throughthis stuff, and it might be that
you use a different tactic towork through it than I do, but
we're both working through thesame thing.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yeah, I think one of the things this draws upon is
that there is a duality withinus of that critic and the man in
the arena and at work.
I talk about it being the thedichotomy between being
analytical and operational.
(23:26):
Yeah.
And there's always that tension, whether we're talking about
departmental things or whateverelse.
It's like operations just wantsto do the thing right.
Yeah.
They're okay with lowinformation, high action and
being analytical, being critical, a critical thinker right is
(23:48):
often the other side is high oninformation, low on action.
Right.
And you need both right.
There has to be a balance, andI would bet like even the man in
the arena after he wins orloses then engages in some
critical thinking about okay,what worked, what didn't work
(24:08):
yeah you know how was my footing?
Did I pivot wrong?
My my knee hurts.
What happened there?
Right, but getting informationafter the action, it's just the
critic.
Someone who's a critic tends tonever get to the action step.
Right.
Right or they don't.
(24:29):
They don't even have a say oran influence in the action steps
, because they're criticizingother people.
So I think for us, though, whenwe're talking about, like our
inner critic or a self-critic,versus becoming that strong man
who stumbles in the arena, it'sjust sort of an interesting I
(24:49):
don't know something for memyself to assess.
All right, am I being more of acritic in my life?
Yeah or in information lowaction, or am I, you know, being
more action and low information?
Speaker 3 (25:04):
might be time to turn the knob a little bit, you know
, to get more of whatever it isI lack yeah yeah, I, I can say
that one of the things is solike, just starting from the
sort of the top of that quote um, you know, the, that very first
line, it's not the critic whocounts, um, it's you know,
(25:29):
basically, to me that says the,the person that is actually
doing this stuff I mean, this issort of the crux of the whole
thing is like the person that'sactually in the arena fighting
the fight, right, and I, I thinkI feel like we have, I feel
like there's a lot of peoplethat are critics out there of
(25:51):
all kinds of things, but there'suh not that many doers, uh, and
whether in the political arenaor in just the you know our
country or whatever else, but I,I feel, generally speaking,
that there's the doers are thepeople who actually get stuff
done, and that that sounds likereally, really lame, but but
(26:14):
it's, but it is.
I'm just saying, like you youknow, like the people that you
know the people that, like you,might work with somebody on a
group project or whatever, andthere's a lot of people who are
like great idea people.
There are people that are like,oh, we should do it this way
and we should do that, but whenit comes to the execution of
that, it doesn't.
They aren't part of that.
You know that's that's nottheir no-transcript and I think
(27:01):
that's what sort of this is, youknow, sort of talking about.
I also like that it really doestalk about the failures, like
basically it talks about whostrives valiantly.
Yeah, who errs, who comes shortagain and again, because there's
no effort without error andshortcoming, which to me is, you
(27:22):
know, the best of us havefailed more than the rest of us,
you know to quote somebodythat's, you know, really really
super wise and full ofthemselves and egotistical.
Yeah, no, um, but it really, itreally is like I think we focus
on the wrong things and, um, youknow, failure, whatever that
(27:46):
means, is a good thing, and Ithink, even in I think even in
corporations and companies likethey, they don't, they're
focused so on the yeah, but canwe make it succeed?
And you're like, well, yeah, wecan make it succeed, but we're
gonna have to fail a few timesto make it the best thing
possible.
You know, um, and I think thatgets lost in the mix.
You know right.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
well, yeah, the incremental failures aren't
tolerated because they eat intoprofit or eat into persona or
public relations.
And sometimes you can't affordfailures, right, like nobody
wants their surgeon to try boldnew strategies on them there has
(28:31):
to be protocols and practicesand safety and whatnot.
Yeah, I mean in that casefailure is.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
You know.
The price for failure ispotentially a life right.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Yeah, but there's definitely a spectrum of, you
know, avoiding unacceptableconsequences versus avoiding any
consequence.
Right.
We sort of get that in our headthat any consequences to be
avoided.
I believe it's Tom Bilyeu whohas a YouTube impact theory
(29:13):
YouTube channel called ImpactTheory.
Uh-huh, he meets all kinds ofpeople Um, big, big names too,
but I can't remember if he wasquoting somebody or he was
saying this himself, but he,they were sort of talking about
the culture today and and he wassaying like I feel like people
(29:34):
need to be chased by a lion.
Yeah.
And the context, the way heclarified that, was just that
our sensitivity to stress is waytoo high.
When we get an unwelcome email,that's maybe the most stressful
thing that we experience thatday or that week, and so that's
(29:58):
that's the peak and that thatfreaks us out, that could ruin
our day, that could ruin ourweek, when you know, but you
lose that perspective of likeit's just an email, because it
it's all relative to how muchyou experienced day to day.
Yeah.
Sort of a level set of what ourancestors had, or maybe not what
we do need, but perhaps we needwhere.
(30:20):
Just just try to outrun a lionand then reset your, your
barometer of of stress, suchthat emails have the proper
perspective.
Yeah.
You know, or someone waitingforever to park in a parking, or
waiting forever for a perfectparking spot and blocking people
behind them, like whatever,whatever modern inconvenience
(30:42):
can that pales in comparison tobeing chased by a lion?
Um, you can have thatperspective yeah, yeah, and I
think and some of this arenaquote does play off of that too
that for me, like there's,there's because of the imagery
talks about there being an arena, like a gladiatorial arena like
(31:03):
that kind of stress is muchgreater than the stress I might
feel about cold calling somebodyfor an over an opportunity that
interests me.
That makes me nervous.
Yeah.
Like making phone calls,nothing I mean, I could be a
Roman gladiator.
Yeah.
Yeah, trying not to get eaten.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
I also like get going back to your email example,
because I've had a few examplesof that just in the last few
months, where I'll get an emailand just like, oh gosh, you know
, this is not the email that Iwant to receive and it's not
doesn't have the tone that Iwant to receive, you know.
You know, I see in an emailfrom anyone, um, and I I have to
(31:51):
like remind myself that nothingin and of itself has any kind
of value inherently, like so anemail doesn't have a value
unless you place that value uponit.
So I have to.
That's where I, that's how Isort of reel myself in a little
bit Like oh, man, that's, I justreally did not want to get that
email, but it's like well, wait, this is me putting all that on
it, and it's a lot of the whatif like, what if this and what
(32:13):
if that, and that person doesn'tlike me, and they're going to,
you know, they think I don't doa good job, or whatever that is,
and, um, you know, but that'sme putting all of that on it.
It's all of the, the baggage andall the other stuff that comes
along with that thing.
You know what I mean.
So, um, sometimes, though, I'llget an email like that and go,
(32:37):
all right, that's fair, like thecriticism or whatever is fair,
like cause, cause I didn't dowhat I said I was going to do,
or whatever, and so I'm like,okay, you know, I'll take it.
So, um, but yeah, it's, it's uh, I think this is toastmasters
criticism, right or or bandbooster.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
This isn't like client criticisms.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
No, not, not usually um, not usually, most of the
time clients are pretty, youknow they're pretty under, you
know understanding or anythingelse.
Um, but yeah, it's, I'm justsaying you don't, you don't make
mistakes with your clients evernever, never, not once.
Do I ever make mistakes in anycontext.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
I'd hate for your clients to hear you on this
podcast and suddenly wonder ifthey should get a new person.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Well, so anyway, pivoting off of that.
So on any other topic yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
So we were on the no effort without error, like we're
about right past halfwaythrough the quote yeah, and then
, um, I also.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
So the next part in there talks about great
enthusiasms, right, um, greatdevotions.
He, you know who knows greatenthusiasms, the great devotions
, who spends in time, his timehimself, in a worthy cause and,
if you want to, if you want tolike, make that generic themself
in a worthy cause, um, I'm surehim or herself, him or them so,
(34:13):
um, you know, which is, whichis also something that everybody
, I think, first of all,enthusiasm.
We've talked, I think we'vetalked about enthusiasm on the
podcast before, and I thinkenthusiasm actually it's uh,
it's origins are, isn't it god?
(34:34):
Something with god enthusiasmlike?
Isn't there a?
Or spirits yeah, something likethat.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
It's a spirit, a spirit of another entity, a
supernatural entity.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Yeah, and I think also everybody wants to spend
their time in a worthy cause,like spend their energy and time
on something they think isvalued.
I think that's universal, likethat statement in and of itself
is universal.
I don't think anybody's like Iwant to do this crappy job,
doing this crappy thing.
That doesn't mean anything toanyone.
Nobody really ever does that.
(35:08):
And then some people do jobsthat some people you know that
people might perceive, perceiveas that, but they, their
attitude is well, this is animportant part of the you know
society or whatever is well,this is an important part of the
you know society or whatever.
And and so they're there.
So that's even a thing whereit's almost like a reframing for
(35:29):
yourself, where maybe manypeople think, oh, that guy's
nothing, but if that personwasn't doing their job, then
things don't happen.
Or you know, conveniences don'thappen for everybody else or
whatever that might be.
You know so.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah, else, or whatever that might be, you know
.
So, yeah, the, was it the?
The sermon illustration thatcomes to mind is uh, was it a
priest going walking by a churchbeing under construction and
two brick layers are working,and so you know the priest is
not busy, so he stops andcasually interviews them, yeah,
(36:01):
and he talks to the first oneand he's just all been out of
shape.
He's upset, he's mad, he's justlaying brick after brick.
It's his dumb job.
It's dumb work.
It's hot, sweaty and just allbeen out of shape.
And then the priest talks tothe other guy and other guy is
like all serene and happy andwhistling and is thrilled to be
(36:25):
contributing to the constructionof, you know, god's house, to
to, uh, you know, a place tospiritual focus and connection.
Um, now that's the whole thinginto like being purpose driven
right?
Uh, in fact, maybe thatillustration came from a
(36:48):
christian book called thepurpose-driven life.
I don't know it could have beenuh, could have been.
There's another reference toanother.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
Uh, there's another reference in this quote to
another book a little furtherdown.
We'll get to it.
But um, daring greatly, um, uh,brene brown uh wrote a book
called daring greatly and Ithink that's where she got I
think I, I don't know, I don'twant to quote it, but I'm pretty
sure that that's where she gotthat that probability seem high
(37:17):
yeah yeah, um just a quickanswer back on the enthusiasm
before I close this browser.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Yeah, yeah.
It is to be inspired orpossessed by a God.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
Yeah, that's what I thought Um which you know.
Um, I think I, in the moregeneric sense, I think that's
one of the things that in orderto be a doer, you have to do it
with enthusiasm, like with, youknow, gusto, you have to have
moxie, whatever, whateverantiquated word you would like
(37:50):
to put in to that space.
Um, what if I don't want to useany antiquated words?
No, you've got to use onlyantiquated words.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Well, I hope it's not .
I hope that's not a sign thatthere's no modern words, because
no one in modern times is ithasn't yeah yeah, well, I just
think I think that's.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
I think that's a lot of times.
In going back to your example,I think that's where people fall
short is your and I won't saypeople I always like sounds like
I'm excluding myself from that.
But you know, you sort of youknow how, when you like sort of
half-ass something or you dosomething like, you're like well
, I have to do this thing.
It's stupid, but I'm, I'll getit done, but I'm not going to be
happy about it.
(38:32):
I'm not going to haveenthusiasm, right.
First of all, your work productsless.
It's not as good.
Second of all, you're, you'remore miserable, like while
you're doing it right, and Ithink that's an important.
I just think that's animportant thing that when you're
doing something you have to dothose sort of trite things of I
(38:54):
say trite but like the you knowthe fake it till you make it
kind of thing which is is likethis is part of your job.
If this is part of your job,then try to work yourself out of
that part of your job at somepoint.
Like, if that's something thatyou don't like in your job, then
you're going to have to do ituntil you don't have to do it
anymore.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Right, so if you don't like People working for
you to do the job now, or youprocess to automate it, or yeah,
yeah, and I think I will saythis, that I do.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
I will say that I've done in the past at least a lot
of things that I'm just like.
I just really don't want to dothis anymore.
I just have been doing it for along time and I'm not
enthusiastic about it.
It's like it's a thing that Ihave to do, but I'm not
enthusiastic about it.
And I and it's not impossible,but very difficult to get myself
enthusiastic about it and morerecently I've been going okay,
(39:52):
well, how can I, how can I getmyself, how can I work on what I
do in life, to work myself outof that part of my job, and
that's my job.
You know, that's my how I'mgoing to figure that out, but
anyway, yeah, and so there'seither.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
so I'm hearing you talk about there's opportunities
to reframe, so there's look atwhat you have to do with a
different perspective.
Maybe tap into the why, likewhy are you doing this?
Yeah and sometimes it can be assimple as wanting to avoid pain
.
Right like I can be much moreenthusiastic about doing my
taxes when I focus on the painthat I'm avoiding later yeah
(40:35):
doing it.
I don't want to do my taxes,but if I do, yeah I don't get
audited or I don't have to payit back.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
Or you get a refund, yeah or you get your refund
quicker.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Or I get to avoid a free, interest-free loan to the
government because they alreadyborrowed that money for 8 to 12
months.
Anyways, yeah right, I was ableto get right back and get my
start earning my own interest onit.
Um, but yeah, I think one ofthe things that comes to me here
too that I need I have plentyof opportunity to re-inject into
(41:14):
my life Is that idea of alwaysdo your best.
Yeah.
You know that when it it notdoing your best is this weird
sort of emotional insurancepolicy for me and I think for
others as well.
So cause then when it fails,then like oh well, I didn't
(41:37):
really try cause I didn't reallywant it?
Yeah.
I didn't really try, so thatthat's why I failed it.
Really try because I didn'treally want it.
Yeah, I didn't really try, sothat's why I failed.
It's not because I wasn't goodenough, it's like I just didn't
put my heart into it.
But when I look back at thetimes where I did do my best,
that's always when either A Igot some of the best outcomes in
(42:01):
my life, like turning points inmy career and relationships and
just everything.
Yeah.
Or it.
It didn't work out and I atleast had no regrets and I
learned a whole lot, like I got,I learned more from doing my
best than I do from just justyeah, as another now antiquated
(42:30):
phrase phoning it in right, I'mon you.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
I can't think of the etymology of that phrase texting
it in now, you're just textingit in.
Yeah, ghosting along.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Ghosting along Right, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
No, I think you're right, I think that oh go ahead.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
No, you go ahead I was going to move on to another
aspect of the same no, I wasjust going to say that.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
So, with regard to that, I think you're right, I
think, um, you know, I thinkthat's part of the learning
process of the whistle while youwork, kind of thing, or
spoonful of sugar, uh, you knowkind of thing where it's.
You know, I think you do turnout a better product.
And I will say that in withregard to Toastmasters, you know
(43:19):
that we've all had speeches.
If you've been involved withToastmasters for a length of
time, you've all had speechesthat you haven't prepared as
much as you should for, or youjust wrote them very quickly and
hastily and then you deliveredthem and you didn't.
You know the delivery was notas good as it could have been if
you had prepared a little bitmore and done and gotten a
(43:39):
little bit more excited about it.
And that's that you can reallysee it in that instance, just
because you're in front of otherpeople, so people can read your
enthusiasm level about thesubject matter and about the
delivery and about being up onstage and about all of these
things.
Right, and and that's, andthat's unfortunately, one of the
major reasons why somebodymight like you're speaking or
(43:59):
dislike you're speaking, becauseif you go up and you're not
enthusiastic and you'remonochromatic.
And monochromatic is that right?
No, mono, is that right?
It's?
Speaker 1 (44:08):
fine, yeah, you're being poetic.
Yeah, climate monotonal.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
Monotonal yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Yeah, anyway.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
So if you're doing that, then people are like.
You're being colorful with yourlanguage.
Why?
Would somebody.
You know, why would somebodyyeah, exactly yeah, no, but like
, why would somebody want tolisten to you?
And that's the whole thing islike if you're in front of
people, you know they're, it'snot like you're trying to get
them to listen to you, butyou're supposed to be up there
because you have somethingthat's at least somewhat
(44:38):
important to say.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
So I feel like you know it's um, yeah, um, so
plateaued on the learning curve,you know, but I think yes like
when some, when somebody newjoins, and they're clearly doing
their best even though theirproduct isn't as good as, say, a
(45:00):
seasoned toastmaster.
Yeah, it's a joy to see themtrying hard and yes learning by
doing, and there's plenty ofpeople who've reached that
so-called pinnacle andtoastmasters of being a
distinguished toastmaster likeyeah the paper and the badge to
prove it, like they're nottrying anymore, they're not
(45:20):
doing different things withpowerpoint, or they're not
trying different hand gesturesor different ways of telling the
same story, like they're just,you know, they're just doing it,
um, and I'm somewhere in themiddle there, right, like I'm
more just doing it and I'm notaccomplished.
Definitely, I thought you weretalking about.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
I thought you were like subtly talking about me
here, like there are some people, um, that have a dtm, that you
know I was genuinely speakinggenerically in generic.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Yeah, having looked, you know, having looked.
You know, whenever there's aconference, they have all the
people who've earned their DTM.
Yeah.
Get up and welcome those who'veearned it that year and and
like just looking at thosepeople and they're not, they're
kind of retired.
Yeah, you know, in terms oftheir activity.
You know, I will say like on onmy.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
I did shift my actually talked about this on
the podcast previously too.
I've I've somewhat shifted myum focus to helping other
helping others, cause I don'tcare about getting mold.
I.
We know people you and I bothknow people that have multiple
DTMs.
Uh, distinguished Toastmasters.
For the those out there thataren't, Toastmasters.
(46:38):
Um, but it's also not an excuseto cause like that's.
You know you can continuallylearn.
So, um, again, going back tothe quote and doing, you know,
talking about that with regardto what we're talking about
right now, which is sort ofrepetitively doing something,
(46:59):
who spends himself in the worthycause, who, at the best, knows
at the end the triumph of highachievement and who, at worst,
if he fails, at least he failswhile daring greatly, so sort of
talking like that, where it's arepetitive thing.
And then, above that, obviously, who comes short again and
greatly.
So, you know, sort of talkinglike that where it's a
repetitive thing, and then,above that, obviously, who comes
short again and again.
So he talks about it a coupleof times where it's, you know,
(47:22):
you gotta, you've gotta be theperson that's actually trying to
do stuff, and the outcomedoesn't really matter that much.
Um, what matters is that you'rethe one in the quote unquote
arena, you're the one that'sactually trying to get something
done and, uh, and you know, youdo it while you're daring
greatly and you do it withenthusiasm, and I think that's
(47:42):
yeah, that's very honestly,that's exactly what we encourage
in all of our toastmasters.
Is what do you?
You know, just get up and speak.
Who cares what happens?
What's the worst thing happens?
You, you, you.
You're supposed to go up therefor the four to six minute
speech and you end up speakingfor two and a half minutes and
you sit down because you're toonervous.
Okay, fine, what happened?
You got up there for two and ahalf minutes and you sat down,
(48:05):
so you tried it.
So now, next time, what are wegoing to do?
You know, next time?
And yeah, exactly, and so, um,I also think at the end.
So the last part of this um isso like uh, I don't want to say
(48:31):
like pointed or very, like,almost like challenge.
It's like a call to action kindof.
Is you know?
So, so that his place shallnever be with those cold and
timid souls which you've alreadyreferenced, who neither know
victory nor defeat.
So, basically, he's like.
He's basically like wow, you'rejust sort of a sad sack.
Like, if you're not in thearena, you're never going to
(48:52):
know victory or defeat.
Like, even if you think youthink you know victory, you
don't know it because youweren't in there, you didn't.
You know, you didn't do all thethings.
We just talked about.
Speaker 1 (49:02):
You know what I mean.
So right, it's all vicarious ifanything like the, if you're a
fan of the stands yeah right,you might, but you don't really.
You weren't the one strivingand having to deal with that
sense of defeat and it, yeah,it's even when, when I do like
the phoning it in or thehalf-assing it yeah like I don't
(49:25):
know victory and I don't knowdefeat, whether it was okay or
not yeah it's just this middleground where I didn't succeed,
but I also didn't fail yeah, andI.
I don't feel either of thosefeelings of success or failure
which then leads to a lack ofenthusiasm.
It's a negative feedback loopyeah right.
Speaker 3 (49:46):
If it's not exciting, it's not engaging, then you
lose interest, you losemotivation well, and I the the
most straightforward example ofthis that I can think of is the
when the, the owner of an nflteam, gets a super bowl ring
(50:07):
right.
So it's like, literally, thisbird, he was not in the arena,
he was not.
He was in the arena but he wasa spectator, right, but his guys
who he's traded and got on theteam and everything, those are
the guys that were in the arena,that actually won the game,
right, but he still gets thering.
So, uh, I mean I would think inthat person's mind they
(50:30):
probably think oh yeah, I won.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
Like I won a Superbowl, you know, but did you
really my team?
I picked them, yeah, right.
Speaker 3 (50:38):
Like I paid the money and I got.
I got the coach that got theguy who got the thing, who
caught the pass, who you knowwhat I mean, like way down the
line.
So I get it.
But at the same time it's likebut did you really win a super
bowl?
I think you, I think you, uh,your team that you own won a
super bowl, but did you?
Speaker 1 (50:57):
I don't know about that, you know yeah, I who I can
empathize with the whole from abeing a manager standpoint yeah
I never really know when I'msucceeding or failing, or yeah,
you know, cause there's so manyjust close calls from our
projects going down or somethingthat I happened to chime in or
(51:19):
whatnot, or you know, I gentlyencourage this colleague with
this or that and it's like Idon't.
I'm not in the arena, I'm just.
I'm the coach.
Yeah.
And because of that, though, Ionly ever know that victory or
defeat vicariously right andit's.
(51:39):
I can almost empathize now withmanagers who are guilty of
taking credit or allowing othersto give credit to them instead
of to their team, because it canbe almost like an empty void of
(52:00):
feedback for the manager toknow whether they're doing a
good job or not?
A lot of unseen assistance.
It's hard to know whether youwin or lose.
Right, you win in thegladiatory arena.
It's hard to know whether youwin or lose, right, you, you,
you win in the gladiatory arena.
It's obvious.
Speaker 3 (52:16):
Right, the the lion is dead and you are not yeah um,
but you know, one of youstopped moving and it wasn't you
like that, that's good yeah ifyeah, but doesn't that go back
to like some of the things wetalked about in the past, where
it's like, if you set goals andyou have things for yourself,
you know, granted, are you, youknow you have that.
(52:40):
Like it's the context thatyou're putting on it?
Again, going back to thenothing has an inherent context.
You're you, it's any contextyou want is you're going to put
it on that, whatever that thingis.
And so the question is questionis you know?
Are you in the arena as amanager?
Yeah, I think you are.
I think, um, it can be.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
Yeah, yeah, it definitely can be.
It's just yeah, my I'm notstriving greatly on the, you
know, the individual contributorpiece, but I'm striving greatly
on, you know, keeping things incommunication right making sure
that things don't go off therails and tracking yeah like
there's definitely ways I couldbe doing my best in that regard
(53:22):
and knowing the victory andknowing the defeat yeah, you're
right well, I think that that'sabout all.
Speaker 3 (53:32):
But I think the funny thing is the next episode.
What we're going to be talkingabout is sort of pivoting a
little bit on this and going allthe way back to the top and
going almost back to that firstline talking about it's not the
critic who counts, and a littlebit of that we're going to.
We're going to talk about thata little bit and talk about
(53:53):
without spoiling too much.
You know, you're the way thatcriticism happens, whether that
be internal or external, andthen you know how you handle
criticism, how you handle praise.
I mean praise.
It's funny to me because, likeyou talk about somebody praises
you.
Like I have a really hard time.
I'll take criticism all daylong and say, yeah, you're right
(54:14):
, I'm not good enough, I shouldhave done that better.
And then somebody says, brian,you did a great job, I'm, that's
really awesome.
Like I don't, I don't knowabout that.
Like you know like I'm alwaysdeflecting deflecting the praise
and and taking the criticism orthe critique or the uh, you
know assessment.
So I think that's what we'regoing to talk about in the next
(54:35):
episode and probably some otherstuff, I'm sure I'll object to
things about how to dare greatly.
Yeah, definitely All right.
Well, until next time we out.
Welcome to Help Yourself.
Food and Philosophy with Brianand Nick.
I'm Nick and I'm Brian.
People criticize the Roman thathad to crucify Jesus, but I
think he nailed it.
What you eating, brian?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Gosh.
Wow, like that's very divisive.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Stalin said that dark humor is like food.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Not everyone gets it okay well what you eating, bro,
starting out with with the uh,dark jesus joke that's.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
That's a good way for some people believe Jesus was
dark skin.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
All right, Serious, serious podcasting, All right.
Uh, what am I eating?
Well, this morning I hadbreakfast, of course, and I have
been in such a rut because I'vebeen basically just eating the
same thing every morning, whichis partially helping me with
(01:13):
diet, Kind of like making sureI'm not gaining weight is one of
the easy ways is and uh, if you, the audience still remembers
uh, Austin, who was on our youknow our uh episode quite some
time ago talking about fitness,they sit, keeping your you know
what you eat the same every dayis an easy way to do things
(01:36):
without having to like journalyour food, Because if you know
exactly what you're eating, youeat the same thing every day.
Then you don't have the oh gosh, what, how many calories?
Is what do I?
Do?
You just figure it out once andthen, you just do that.
The question is whether or notyou can do it every day or not,
whether you can like overcomethe voice in your head that,
(01:57):
basically, is telling you likewhy?
Why are you eating this again?
We just had this yesterday.
Why don't you eat somethingelse?
Or you know, know, do somethinglike that.
And I'll say that my, mydownfall in it is that I like
sauces and condiments and thingslike that, and you don't
realize how much sauces andcondiments can add, especially
(02:18):
if you're you're adding likecreamy kind of sauces and things
like that.
And I've talked prettyextensively about my mayonnaise
obsession, so that can play intoit as well.
So I try to not add anything toit, but a lot of times I do so.
(02:38):
Then it sort of throws that outthe window a little bit.
But this morning I had abreakfast sandwich that was just
a like a English muffin,sausage, cheese, egg and I've
come up with a very clever wayto cook it and make sure that
everything gets warm where it'ssupposed to get warm and
everything gets toasty whereit's supposed to get toasty and
all that stuff.
(02:58):
But then I also add usually anextra slice of cheese to it.
So um adds a little bit ofcalories, but there it's.
You know, for me a lot of timesit's about the process of the
cooking of the the sandwich.
So I disassemble the wholething, I toast the English
muffin, I take the sausage andthe egg and I put that
(03:21):
separately, because if you putthe egg in the cheese then the
cheese is going to melt too muchin the heating of the egg and
the sausage and I don't wantthat to be like melty and crusty
and hard, so do that.
And then I put it all backtogether, wrap it all in a paper
towel and then I heat it likeone last final heat so that it
comes out like a McDonald, likea McDonald's sandwich or
(03:43):
something like that.
So so really, really good.
Uh, where you can, where youcan change it up, is like change
different kinds of cheese.
So add a slice of pepper Jackif you want, to add a slice of
provolone instead of cheddar orsomething like that, and you get
a little bit different flavorfrom it.
So, but I have to limit myselfto not go too crazy about all of
(04:04):
the add additions, becauseotherwise I'll take like a 250
calorie sandwich and I'll turnit into like a five or 600
calorie sandwich and that's notgood.
So so, yeah, uh, not a veryexciting breakfast, but I've
been trying to do that as muchas I can, uh, just to make it
easy on me in terms of keepingtrack of, like, what I've had to
(04:25):
eat.
So, and then my Brian's beveragecorner.
Uh, I, this this morning.
I actually have had two cups ofcoffee today and I've been
doing I know I've been doing myown cheater nitro cold brew, not
really nitro, but, um, coldbrew that you just buy in the
supermarket out of the.
You know that's in the bottleand I try not.
(04:48):
I usually don't use theconcentrated ones that you have
to like dilute with water, so Ijust use the ones you can just
pour in and put it in a new cup.
So I usually put it in a cupwith some ice, and then I have
some different kinds of creamersthat I use.
The one I used today was aCoffee Mate coffee mate duos and
it's a.
It was it's vanilla and caramel, so it's like a double flavor
(05:13):
that they do some kind of magic.
I don't know how they put twoflavors in there, but not my job
.
So I had, I've had two cups ofcoffee, so hopefully I'm not
over caffeinated, because thenext thing also has caffeine is
I'm drinking a Coca-Cola zero,which is again another boring
thing I've talked about all thetime.
But recently I have gotten Idon't know sort of into drinking
(05:37):
a Coke zero two or three timesa week.
I don't know why.
I just I drank one at one pointand then I was like, wow, that
was really good.
And then, like two days later,I'm like I'm going to have
another one.
And the other thing is isavailability, is all the offices
that I work in they always haveCoke zeros in the fridge.
So the availability plus megoing oh, that's sort of good is
means that now I have a littlebit of a habit that I'm trying
(05:59):
to make sure I don't again gotoo overboard.
I don't again go too overboard.
I don't want to end up drinkingtwo or three coke zeros a day,
um, but I'll have one with lunch, yeah, exactly exactly so, um.
And then I've got my trusty uhiron flask, f degree, fahrenheit
(06:21):
degree thing, full of water,because hydration is important.
So so that's where I'm at today, right now.
What about you?
What are you eating?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
We went to Starbucks.
Actually, I've been toStarbucks two days in a row.
I want to mention this before Iforget, as you know, Brian the
day before this recording today,I had a Nitro cold brew.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
And I have had or have stopped taking in caffeine
from coffee because I seem tohave developed a sensitivity to
it Like just more and more.
I'm staying up late very easily.
So by doing that I've alsoincreased my sensitivity to
(07:17):
caffeine.
So even though I had that nitroin the morning and had no other
coffee or caffeine the rest ofthat day, I was up until three
easily, like oh gosh yawning,not feeling tired, having full
mental faculties carrying onconversations and just fully
(07:37):
engaged in the wake.
So that was rough.
I have no.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
I don't think.
I have a recollection of thelast time I was up till 3 am.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Well, neither do I, oddly enough.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
That's crazy, though.
I wonder why that is.
I wonder why, like, do youthink that it's like just so,
it's just like you've justoverloaded your system, or do
you think that part of it isthat part of it is you stay up.
You tend to stay up a littlebit late anyway, um, not that
late, but you tend to stay up alittle bit later.
And I say late for me, becauseI go to bed early.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
So yeah, I'm sure it's a combination of factors
and like that plays into it.
There's the fact that I'veincreased my sensitivity to
caffeine by coming off of it, sothe times I do take it can be
kind of rough.
As far as today, though, whenwe went to Starbucks, I got some
(08:37):
bacon and cheese bites.
Oh nice, those are prettysimilar to your breakfast,
except the sandwich part.
Yes, nice.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
Those are pretty similar to your breakfast,
except the sandwich part.
Yes, yeah, those are good.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Take a chance at pronouncing it.
I have asked them before likehow to pronounce it a couple of
times.
One barista didn't know, theother one did and told me, but I
then forgot.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
So you better be careful though because Go ahead.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
I was just going to say you better be careful though
because go ahead.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I was just gonna say you better be careful because
they'll they'll start callingyou like the gruyere guy or
whatever.
Like you'll walk in and be like, hey, what's up?
Gruyere, you know, I hope notsorry, I interrupted you.
What were you saying?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
you're good.
So you know.
They put a little sticker on.
You know the stuff they handyou after right part of like
their process to make sure theydon't get stuff mixed up yeah
and on there it just says baconegg bites.
That's, that's all it says onthe sticker is bacon egg bites,
but they've got this fancy wordfor cheese right a little accent
(09:43):
over one of the letters youknow on the menu, but that's in
bolts, it's just bacon egg bitesI know my wife was.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
just she went to she doesn't drink coffee, so she.
But she went to starbucksrecently because some of her
friends were there and she cameback and she was complaining a
little bit because she's likethey just don't have any
sympathy for somebody thatdoesn't show up, like, doesn't
go there all the time, like yousay something wrong on the menu,
and they're like, uh, do youmean a venti or do you mean uh?
And you're just like I don'tknow, I want the medium, like
(10:11):
what's the middle one?
Like just give me that one, youknow.
And so she was.
She was frustrated because forthose of you listening and also
you, nick, you know this thislikes the system, cause you go
there often but they come outand they call the order and they
put it down in the little areawhere you pick your orders up.
And well, she didn't know anyof that.
So she's just like sitting ather table, they didn't call her
name, they just put down hersandwich and said cafe order.
(10:35):
And she didn't know that thatwas anything, and so she was
like oh, is that mine?
And she's like, yeah, did youhave the cafe order?
And she's like I don't know, Igot a sandwich, is that cafe
Like?
She's like I don't go here.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Like you know, Wow, so like yeah, that Starbucks has
maybe a bit of an attitude andmaybe they don't often get food
orders.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yeah, well, on that note, I got to have you come out
to near where I am becausethere's a cool coffee shop out
here called the Fainting Goatand they have almost I would say
almost all but a lot.
If you look up their menu, alot of their drinks are Star
Wars themed and they have like ahuge Star Wars like theme to
(11:22):
the whole thing, like they havelots of.
So like one of the one that Iget is a car, it's called
carbonite and it's a iced coffeewith um cold foam on top of it,
so like the, basically it's alike black iced coffee and then
they just put the foam on topand then over time that like
filters down and like mixes withthe coffee.
But when you get it it's black,all black on the bottom and
(11:44):
totally white on the top and uh,and yeah sounds pretty yeah,
and they have got.
They've got good food andthey've got all kinds of stuff.
Yeah, I know I think I've been.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I've been to fancy goat once before, and then they
started in spring hill I thinkyou're right.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Yes, yes, I'm naming.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I'm naming geographic areas.
That's bad that's okay I'vebeen, just I've been to that
place before yeah, and then theydid just open one in franklin
so yeah got it.
And then to drink, I simply gottheir espresso decaf latte or a
latte decaf um with just a hintof sweet cream, and then put
(12:30):
their chocolate cold foam on top.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Do you find that it's ?
Speaker 1 (12:35):
better for you now that you're doing the decaf.
Oh, definitely.
Yeah.
It does mean that I get sleepyat weird times.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Yeah, partly cause I'm so sleep deprived and I
don't have the caffeine to kindof kick me through the day, and
it's like there's still parts ofme that expects the coffee to
give me energy and yeah I'msurprised when I get drained,
but I've noticed that becausewhen I I did that same thing
when it, when I dialed mycaffeine back, like when I was
(13:06):
trying to not drink as much inany given day, um, same thing
happened to me, like at weirdtimes in the day.
I'll just be like what?
Why?
Like, I feel like I couldliterally lay down immediately
and fall asleep.
You know, like it was just verystrange, but you sort of get
used to it after a while.
And then I think the key to itis talking, like we always talk
(13:29):
about, like the habitual natureof it.
Basically, like you got to doit.
You got to like, for the firstlittle while, you have to do it
exactly at the same time everyday, like here's what my routine
is I get up, I do go to the gym, I do this, and then this is
when the coffee comes in thepicture.
This is when the coffee comesin the picture, this is when the
caffeine comes in the picture,and you do it exactly the same
time every day for a certainamount of time, and then your
body starts to go oh, okay,that's when the caffeine comes.
(13:49):
Okay, got it, you know, um, butthat's that.
Therein lies the very hardthing that we all have to deal
with, which is really we shouldbe like making everything a
routine, but as humans, we'renot like that, right.
So we're, we're very.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
We crave differences a little bit, you know it is
weird that we we are kind ofcreatures of habit, but we're
also novelty seeking, right?
Yeah Well, I think it's.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
I think it's also like I mean not to get, we're
Well.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I think it's also like I mean not to get.
This isn't even getting intoour topic yet, but I think we
get to a point.
No, this is dead okay.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
We can do whatever we want.
No, I think that's funnybecause you know you, like you
said, you know, I think that weare creatures of habit but we
sort of seek the novelty.
Creatures of habit, but we, wesort of seek the novelty, but I
also think it's.
We have a natural like, anatural affinity or not affinity
(14:54):
is, affinity is not the rightword.
We have a natural, I think,tendency to want to like, resist
when somebody is like you'regoing to do this, like at this
time, and you're going to dothis at this time and like every
day.
And then I think, naturally, atsome point, you're like no, I
don't want to do that at thattime, I want to do this at this
time and like every day.
And then I think, naturally, atsome point, you're like no, I
don't want to do that at thattime, I want to do it at this
time, like, and I'm going to,I'm a grown adult and I could do
it, you know, and so I think Ithink we could.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
I'm a big boy.
I go to bed when I want.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Right, exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Like don't tell you what I want to do, and I want to
tell you what I want to do?
Speaker 3 (15:28):
I'm the inner voice here.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
No, I'm the inner voice.
Oh man, hi, we're clinicallyinsane.
Welcome to our podcast.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yeah, and we should, oh, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Not only do we talk to ourselves, ourselves,
ourselves, ourselves ourselves,that we talk to talk to each
other.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
And the thing that I was going to say is that, you
know, we yeah, I forgot what Iwas going to say, but I think we
were talking about like innervoice, and you know sort of how
that plays in.
Well, so that's that couldsegue into our topic I think
(16:13):
well so you want to, you want togive it the, the, uh, the intro
yeah, I'll do my best well I'llmake an effort.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I can't say it's my best A for effort, just being
super self-critical right now,the so pivoting off of inner
voice and sort of an innercritic of sorts.
There was a gentleman in Brianand I's Toastmaster group who
(16:42):
shared the quote that he and Iknow and love, but it's just
going to be reminded of and Ithink it's worth exploring it's
the quote it's almost a poemreally, but from Teddy Roosevelt
, about the man in the arena.
I'll do my best rendition of it.
(17:04):
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how
the strong man stumbles orwhere the doer of deeds could
have done them better.
The credit belongs to the manwho is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust andsweat and blood, who strives
(17:26):
valiantly, who errs, who comesshort again and again because
there is no effort without errorand shortcoming, but who does
actually strive to do the deeds,who knows great enthusiasms,
the great devotions, who spendshimself in a worthy cause, who,
(17:52):
at the best, knows, in the end,the triumph of high achievement
and who, at the worst, if hefails, at least fails while
daring greatly, so that hisplace shall never be with those
cold and timid souls who neitherknow victory nor defeat.
So yeah, there you go very,very powerful yeah, it's, it's.
(18:21):
It's something I needed to hear.
I've I've been fairly down anddumpy and certainly leaning more
on the side of cold and timidsouls.
Yeah, so, like this was a goodlittle kick in the pants, a
(18:43):
reminder of who I can be and whoI have been.
You know, the man in the arena,so to speak.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Yeah, and I think I mean this is obviously as you,
and I love the quotes.
You know this is a long formkind of quote which is, as you
said, almost like a poem, but ithas so much in it I love.
I love succinct wisdom.
You know things that are acouple of things that you can
take and you can either look atthem in their context.
(19:14):
So you could do the study ofTheodore Roosevelt and you could
say what was the context ofthis and you could go into that
and I bet you it has a huge deepmeaning there.
But you can also take it out ofcontext and use it for your own
purposes, because there's somuch general or generic or
usable wisdom that can apply toso many different things, usable
(19:37):
wisdom that can apply to somany different things.
I also think it's crazy thatthis is a hundred and twenty
four year old quote and it'sstill as valid today as it is,
as it was when he said it.
It also Makes me think of someof the things we talked about in
the in our previous episodesthe, the not confirmation.
The cognitive biases, the oneabout that we had Ed Zinkowitz
(20:00):
on for the.
You know the.
The world's getting worse andworse.
You know, declinism, declinismTo me.
Whenever I think of that orstart thinking like, oh man,
it's so much harder now.
It's.
So we have different stressesand and we have different.
And then you read a quote likethis and you go, wow, they just
they had the same stresses thatwe had.
(20:20):
They just didn't have cellphones and they didn't have.
You know, they didn't have someof the things we have, but they
had the same stresses and thatmeant the same thing to those
people 120, I mean 100 andwhatever 14 years ago.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
And instead of getting new tires, they had to
get new shoes for their horse.
Right yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
I mean it's yeah, it's, and it's that that, to me,
makes me feel connected tohumanity If that makes sense, or
connected to it, makes me feelnormal.
It makes me feel like wheneverI read things like this, it
makes me feel normal.
It makes me feel like wheneverI read things like this, it
makes me feel like, oh, I, I I'mgoing through the same things
(21:00):
that they went through you know50, 75, 100, 200, 300, you know,
because even if you read marcusaurelius and some of the other
stuff that we've gone over, itshows I think it just indicates
that they were going through thesame mental processes that we
were going through.
They're, like all of the thingsand you know, dealing with the
same worries and concerns and,oh, am I good enough?
(21:24):
Or self-esteem, or all thisstuff.
Maybe they didn't have thenames for them, but they're
going through the same stuff.
So it makes me like.
It makes me feel like, insteadof what I had felt like or have
felt like in my life, of beingabnormal, like, oh, everyone
else has got their stufftogether, but I don't, for some
reason.
It's like how come Then youread stuff like this, or like
(21:46):
how to stop worrying and startliving, or some of the other
things and you go, oh okay, wait, I'm dealing with the same
stuff, so I know I'm beingrepetitive, but just me, yeah,
and I think that goes a samestuff.
So I know I'm being repetitive,but just me, yeah, and and I
think that I think that goes along way to like this is the
perfect episode for both of us,so that you said that that leads
(22:09):
a long way or that goes a longway to, to what?
It, it, no, it just it just goesa long way to, uh, to begin the
process of getting better, like, which is what we always talk
about.
How do you get better?
How well, one of the firstthings you need to do is realize
you're not abnormal, like,there's nothing like that.
(22:30):
You have the tools that youneed in order to move forward.
Um, you know, you know short ofshort of some other things that
we've talked about on the, onthe podcast.
You know some mentaldisabilities, some, obviously,
brain deficiencies, things likethat that are physical things,
but you know you have basicallythat's what.
I think that's the first partof it.
It's like the recognizing thepro.
(22:51):
There's a problem, you know.
It's like recognizing thatyou're absolutely normal.
You just need to work throughthis stuff, and it might be that
you use a different tactic towork through it than I do, but
we're both working through thesame thing.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yeah, I think one of the things this draws upon is
that there is a duality withinus of that critic and the man in
the arena and at work.
I talk about it being the thedichotomy between being
analytical and operational.
(23:26):
Yeah.
And there's always that tension, whether we're talking about
departmental things or whateverelse.
It's like operations just wantsto do the thing right.
Yeah.
They're okay with lowinformation, high action and
being analytical, being critical, a critical thinker right is
(23:48):
often the other side is high oninformation, low on action.
Right.
And you need both right.
There has to be a balance, andI would bet like even the man in
the arena after he wins orloses then engages in some
critical thinking about okay,what worked, what didn't work
(24:08):
yeah you know how was my footing?
Did I pivot wrong?
My my knee hurts.
What happened there?
Right, but getting informationafter the action, it's just the
critic.
Someone who's a critic tends tonever get to the action step.
Right.
Right or they don't.
(24:29):
They don't even have a say oran influence in the action steps
, because they're criticizingother people.
So I think for us, though, whenwe're talking about, like our
inner critic or a self-critic,versus becoming that strong man
who stumbles in the arena, it'sjust sort of an interesting I
(24:49):
don't know something for memyself to assess.
All right, am I being more of acritic in my life?
Yeah or in information lowaction, or am I, you know, being
more action and low information?
Speaker 3 (25:04):
might be time to turn the knob a little bit, you know
, to get more of whatever it isI lack yeah yeah, I, I can say
that one of the things is solike, just starting from the
sort of the top of that quote um, you know, the, that very first
line, it's not the critic whocounts, um, it's you know,
(25:29):
basically, to me that says the,the person that is actually
doing this stuff I mean, this issort of the crux of the whole
thing is like the person that'sactually in the arena fighting
the fight, right, and I, I thinkI feel like we have, I feel
like there's a lot of peoplethat are critics out there of
(25:51):
all kinds of things, but there'suh not that many doers, uh, and
whether in the political arenaor in just the you know our
country or whatever else, but I,I feel, generally speaking,
that there's the doers are thepeople who actually get stuff
done, and that that sounds likereally, really lame, but but
(26:14):
it's, but it is.
I'm just saying, like you youknow, like the people that you
know the people that, like you,might work with somebody on a
group project or whatever, andthere's a lot of people who are
like great idea people.
There are people that are like,oh, we should do it this way
and we should do that, but whenit comes to the execution of
that, it doesn't.
They aren't part of that.
You know that's that's nottheir no-transcript and I think
(27:01):
that's what sort of this is, youknow, sort of talking about.
I also like that it really doestalk about the failures, like
basically it talks about whostrives valiantly.
Yeah, who errs, who comes shortagain and again, because there's
no effort without error andshortcoming, which to me is, you
(27:22):
know, the best of us havefailed more than the rest of us,
you know to quote somebodythat's, you know, really really
super wise and full ofthemselves and egotistical.
Yeah, no, um, but it really, itreally is like I think we focus
on the wrong things and, um, youknow, failure, whatever that
(27:46):
means, is a good thing, and Ithink, even in I think even in
corporations and companies likethey, they don't, they're
focused so on the yeah, but canwe make it succeed?
And you're like, well, yeah, wecan make it succeed, but we're
gonna have to fail a few timesto make it the best thing
possible.
You know, um, and I think thatgets lost in the mix.
You know right.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
well, yeah, the incremental failures aren't
tolerated because they eat intoprofit or eat into persona or
public relations.
And sometimes you can't affordfailures, right, like nobody
wants their surgeon to try boldnew strategies on them there has
(28:31):
to be protocols and practicesand safety and whatnot.
Yeah, I mean in that casefailure is.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
You know.
The price for failure ispotentially a life right.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Yeah, but there's definitely a spectrum of, you
know, avoiding unacceptableconsequences versus avoiding any
consequence.
Right.
We sort of get that in our headthat any consequences to be
avoided.
I believe it's Tom Bilyeu whohas a YouTube impact theory
(29:13):
YouTube channel called ImpactTheory.
Uh-huh, he meets all kinds ofpeople Um, big, big names too,
but I can't remember if he wasquoting somebody or he was
saying this himself, but he,they were sort of talking about
the culture today and and he wassaying like I feel like people
(29:34):
need to be chased by a lion.
Yeah.
And the context, the way heclarified that, was just that
our sensitivity to stress is waytoo high.
When we get an unwelcome email,that's maybe the most stressful
thing that we experience thatday or that week, and so that's
(29:58):
that's the peak and that thatfreaks us out, that could ruin
our day, that could ruin ourweek, when you know, but you
lose that perspective of likeit's just an email, because it
it's all relative to how muchyou experienced day to day.
Yeah.
Sort of a level set of what ourancestors had, or maybe not what
we do need, but perhaps we needwhere.
(30:20):
Just just try to outrun a lionand then reset your, your
barometer of of stress, suchthat emails have the proper
perspective.
Yeah.
You know, or someone waitingforever to park in a parking, or
waiting forever for a perfectparking spot and blocking people
behind them, like whatever,whatever modern inconvenience
(30:42):
can that pales in comparison tobeing chased by a lion?
Um, you can have thatperspective yeah, yeah, and I
think and some of this arenaquote does play off of that too
that for me, like there's,there's because of the imagery
talks about there being an arena, like a gladiatorial arena like
(31:03):
that kind of stress is muchgreater than the stress I might
feel about cold calling somebodyfor an over an opportunity that
interests me.
That makes me nervous.
Yeah.
Like making phone calls,nothing I mean, I could be a
Roman gladiator.
Yeah.
Yeah, trying not to get eaten.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
I also like get going back to your email example,
because I've had a few examplesof that just in the last few
months, where I'll get an emailand just like, oh gosh, you know
, this is not the email that Iwant to receive and it's not
doesn't have the tone that Iwant to receive, you know.
You know, I see in an emailfrom anyone, um, and I I have to
(31:51):
like remind myself that nothingin and of itself has any kind
of value inherently, like so anemail doesn't have a value
unless you place that value uponit.
So I have to.
That's where I, that's how Isort of reel myself in a little
bit Like oh, man, that's, I justreally did not want to get that
email, but it's like well, wait, this is me putting all that on
it, and it's a lot of the whatif like, what if this and what
(32:13):
if that, and that person doesn'tlike me, and they're going to,
you know, they think I don't doa good job, or whatever that is,
and, um, you know, but that'sme putting all of that on it.
It's all of the, the baggage andall the other stuff that comes
along with that thing.
You know what I mean.
So, um, sometimes, though, I'llget an email like that and go,
(32:37):
all right, that's fair, like thecriticism or whatever is fair,
like cause, cause I didn't dowhat I said I was going to do,
or whatever, and so I'm like,okay, you know, I'll take it.
So, um, but yeah, it's, it's uh, I think this is toastmasters
criticism, right or or bandbooster.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
This isn't like client criticisms.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
No, not, not usually um, not usually, most of the
time clients are pretty, youknow they're pretty under, you
know understanding or anythingelse.
Um, but yeah, it's, I'm justsaying you don't, you don't make
mistakes with your clients evernever, never, not once.
Do I ever make mistakes in anycontext.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
I'd hate for your clients to hear you on this
podcast and suddenly wonder ifthey should get a new person.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Well, so anyway, pivoting off of that.
So on any other topic yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
So we were on the no effort without error, like we're
about right past halfwaythrough the quote yeah, and then
, um, I also.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
So the next part in there talks about great
enthusiasms, right, um, greatdevotions.
He, you know who knows greatenthusiasms, the great devotions
, who spends in time, his timehimself, in a worthy cause and,
if you want to, if you want tolike, make that generic themself
in a worthy cause, um, I'm surehim or herself, him or them so,
(34:13):
um, you know, which is, whichis also something that everybody
, I think, first of all,enthusiasm.
We've talked, I think we'vetalked about enthusiasm on the
podcast before, and I thinkenthusiasm actually it's uh,
it's origins are, isn't it god?
(34:34):
Something with god enthusiasmlike?
Isn't there a?
Or spirits yeah, something likethat.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
It's a spirit, a spirit of another entity, a
supernatural entity.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Yeah, and I think also everybody wants to spend
their time in a worthy cause,like spend their energy and time
on something they think isvalued.
I think that's universal, likethat statement in and of itself
is universal.
I don't think anybody's like Iwant to do this crappy job,
doing this crappy thing.
That doesn't mean anything toanyone.
Nobody really ever does that.
(35:08):
And then some people do jobsthat some people you know that
people might perceive, perceiveas that, but they, their
attitude is well, this is animportant part of the you know
society or whatever is well,this is an important part of the
you know society or whatever.
And and so they're there.
So that's even a thing whereit's almost like a reframing for
(35:29):
yourself, where maybe manypeople think, oh, that guy's
nothing, but if that personwasn't doing their job, then
things don't happen.
Or you know, conveniences don'thappen for everybody else or
whatever that might be.
You know so.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah, else, or whatever that might be, you know
.
So, yeah, the, was it the?
The sermon illustration thatcomes to mind is uh, was it a
priest going walking by a churchbeing under construction and
two brick layers are working,and so you know the priest is
not busy, so he stops andcasually interviews them, yeah,
(36:01):
and he talks to the first oneand he's just all been out of
shape.
He's upset, he's mad, he's justlaying brick after brick.
It's his dumb job.
It's dumb work.
It's hot, sweaty and just allbeen out of shape.
And then the priest talks tothe other guy and other guy is
like all serene and happy andwhistling and is thrilled to be
(36:25):
contributing to the constructionof, you know, god's house, to
to, uh, you know, a place tospiritual focus and connection.
Um, now that's the whole thinginto like being purpose driven
right?
Uh, in fact, maybe thatillustration came from a
(36:48):
christian book called thepurpose-driven life.
I don't know it could have beenuh, could have been.
There's another reference toanother.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
Uh, there's another reference in this quote to
another book a little furtherdown.
We'll get to it.
But um, daring greatly, um, uh,brene brown uh wrote a book
called daring greatly and Ithink that's where she got I
think I, I don't know, I don'twant to quote it, but I'm pretty
sure that that's where she gotthat that probability seem high
(37:17):
yeah yeah, um just a quickanswer back on the enthusiasm
before I close this browser.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Yeah, yeah.
It is to be inspired orpossessed by a God.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
Yeah, that's what I thought Um which you know.
Um, I think I, in the moregeneric sense, I think that's
one of the things that in orderto be a doer, you have to do it
with enthusiasm, like with, youknow, gusto, you have to have
moxie, whatever, whateverantiquated word you would like
(37:50):
to put in to that space.
Um, what if I don't want to useany antiquated words?
No, you've got to use onlyantiquated words.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Well, I hope it's not .
I hope that's not a sign thatthere's no modern words, because
no one in modern times is ithasn't yeah yeah, well, I just
think I think that's.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
I think that's a lot of times.
In going back to your example,I think that's where people fall
short is your and I won't saypeople I always like sounds like
I'm excluding myself from that.
But you know, you sort of youknow how, when you like sort of
half-ass something or you dosomething like, you're like well
, I have to do this thing.
It's stupid, but I'm, I'll getit done, but I'm not going to be
happy about it.
(38:32):
I'm not going to haveenthusiasm, right.
First of all, your work productsless.
It's not as good.
Second of all, you're, you'remore miserable, like while
you're doing it right, and Ithink that's an important.
I just think that's animportant thing that when you're
doing something you have to dothose sort of trite things of I
(38:54):
say trite but like the you knowthe fake it till you make it
kind of thing which is is likethis is part of your job.
If this is part of your job,then try to work yourself out of
that part of your job at somepoint.
Like, if that's something thatyou don't like in your job, then
you're going to have to do ituntil you don't have to do it
anymore.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Right, so if you don't like People working for
you to do the job now, or youprocess to automate it, or yeah,
yeah, and I think I will saythis, that I do.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
I will say that I've done in the past at least a lot
of things that I'm just like.
I just really don't want to dothis anymore.
I just have been doing it for along time and I'm not
enthusiastic about it.
It's like it's a thing that Ihave to do, but I'm not
enthusiastic about it.
And I and it's not impossible,but very difficult to get myself
enthusiastic about it and morerecently I've been going okay,
(39:52):
well, how can I, how can I getmyself, how can I work on what I
do in life, to work myself outof that part of my job, and
that's my job.
You know, that's my how I'mgoing to figure that out, but
anyway, yeah, and so there'seither.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
so I'm hearing you talk about there's opportunities
to reframe, so there's look atwhat you have to do with a
different perspective.
Maybe tap into the why, likewhy are you doing this?
Yeah and sometimes it can be assimple as wanting to avoid pain
.
Right like I can be much moreenthusiastic about doing my
taxes when I focus on the painthat I'm avoiding later yeah
(40:35):
doing it.
I don't want to do my taxes,but if I do, yeah I don't get
audited or I don't have to payit back.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
Or you get a refund, yeah or you get your refund
quicker.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Or I get to avoid a free, interest-free loan to the
government because they alreadyborrowed that money for 8 to 12
months.
Anyways, yeah right, I was ableto get right back and get my
start earning my own interest onit.
Um, but yeah, I think one ofthe things that comes to me here
too that I need I have plentyof opportunity to re-inject into
(41:14):
my life Is that idea of alwaysdo your best.
Yeah.
You know that when it it notdoing your best is this weird
sort of emotional insurancepolicy for me and I think for
others as well.
So cause then when it fails,then like oh well, I didn't
(41:37):
really try cause I didn't reallywant it?
Yeah.
I didn't really try, so thatthat's why I failed it.
Really try because I didn'treally want it.
Yeah, I didn't really try, sothat's why I failed.
It's not because I wasn't goodenough, it's like I just didn't
put my heart into it.
But when I look back at thetimes where I did do my best,
that's always when either A Igot some of the best outcomes in
(42:01):
my life, like turning points inmy career and relationships and
just everything.
Yeah.
Or it.
It didn't work out and I atleast had no regrets and I
learned a whole lot, like I got,I learned more from doing my
best than I do from just justyeah, as another now antiquated
(42:30):
phrase phoning it in right, I'mon you.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
I can't think of the etymology of that phrase texting
it in now, you're just textingit in.
Yeah, ghosting along.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Ghosting along Right, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
No, I think you're right, I think that oh go ahead.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
No, you go ahead I was going to move on to another
aspect of the same no, I wasjust going to say that.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
So, with regard to that, I think you're right, I
think, um, you know, I thinkthat's part of the learning
process of the whistle while youwork, kind of thing, or
spoonful of sugar, uh, you knowkind of thing where it's.
You know, I think you do turnout a better product.
And I will say that in withregard to Toastmasters, you know
(43:19):
that we've all had speeches.
If you've been involved withToastmasters for a length of
time, you've all had speechesthat you haven't prepared as
much as you should for, or youjust wrote them very quickly and
hastily and then you deliveredthem and you didn't.
You know the delivery was notas good as it could have been if
you had prepared a little bitmore and done and gotten a
(43:39):
little bit more excited about it.
And that's that you can reallysee it in that instance, just
because you're in front of otherpeople, so people can read your
enthusiasm level about thesubject matter and about the
delivery and about being up onstage and about all of these
things.
Right, and and that's, andthat's unfortunately, one of the
major reasons why somebodymight like you're speaking or
(43:59):
dislike you're speaking, becauseif you go up and you're not
enthusiastic and you'remonochromatic.
And monochromatic is that right?
No, mono, is that right?
It's?
Speaker 1 (44:08):
fine, yeah, you're being poetic.
Yeah, climate monotonal.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
Monotonal yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Yeah, anyway.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
So if you're doing that, then people are like.
You're being colorful with yourlanguage.
Why?
Would somebody.
You know, why would somebodyyeah, exactly yeah, no, but like
, why would somebody want tolisten to you?
And that's the whole thing islike if you're in front of
people, you know they're, it'snot like you're trying to get
them to listen to you, butyou're supposed to be up there
because you have somethingthat's at least somewhat
(44:38):
important to say.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
So I feel like you know it's um, yeah, um, so
plateaued on the learning curve,you know, but I think yes like
when some, when somebody newjoins, and they're clearly doing
their best even though theirproduct isn't as good as, say, a
(45:00):
seasoned toastmaster.
Yeah, it's a joy to see themtrying hard and yes learning by
doing, and there's plenty ofpeople who've reached that
so-called pinnacle andtoastmasters of being a
distinguished toastmaster likeyeah the paper and the badge to
prove it, like they're nottrying anymore, they're not
(45:20):
doing different things withpowerpoint, or they're not
trying different hand gesturesor different ways of telling the
same story, like they're just,you know, they're just doing it,
um, and I'm somewhere in themiddle there, right, like I'm
more just doing it and I'm notaccomplished.
Definitely, I thought you weretalking about.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
I thought you were like subtly talking about me
here, like there are some people, um, that have a dtm, that you
know I was genuinely speakinggenerically in generic.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Yeah, having looked, you know, having looked.
You know, whenever there's aconference, they have all the
people who've earned their DTM.
Yeah.
Get up and welcome those who'veearned it that year and and
like just looking at thosepeople and they're not, they're
kind of retired.
Yeah, you know, in terms oftheir activity.
You know, I will say like on onmy.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
I did shift my actually talked about this on
the podcast previously too.
I've I've somewhat shifted myum focus to helping other
helping others, cause I don'tcare about getting mold.
I.
We know people you and I bothknow people that have multiple
DTMs.
Uh, distinguished Toastmasters.
For the those out there thataren't, Toastmasters.
(46:38):
Um, but it's also not an excuseto cause like that's.
You know you can continuallylearn.
So, um, again, going back tothe quote and doing, you know,
talking about that with regardto what we're talking about
right now, which is sort ofrepetitively doing something,
(46:59):
who spends himself in the worthycause, who, at the best, knows
at the end the triumph of highachievement and who, at worst,
if he fails, at least he failswhile daring greatly, so sort of
talking like that, where it's arepetitive thing.
And then, above that, obviously, who comes short again and
greatly.
So, you know, sort of talkinglike that where it's a
repetitive thing, and then,above that, obviously, who comes
short again and again.
So he talks about it a coupleof times where it's, you know,
(47:22):
you gotta, you've gotta be theperson that's actually trying to
do stuff, and the outcomedoesn't really matter that much.
Um, what matters is that you'rethe one in the quote unquote
arena, you're the one that'sactually trying to get something
done and, uh, and you know, youdo it while you're daring
greatly and you do it withenthusiasm, and I think that's
(47:42):
yeah, that's very honestly,that's exactly what we encourage
in all of our toastmasters.
Is what do you?
You know, just get up and speak.
Who cares what happens?
What's the worst thing happens?
You, you, you.
You're supposed to go up therefor the four to six minute
speech and you end up speakingfor two and a half minutes and
you sit down because you're toonervous.
Okay, fine, what happened?
You got up there for two and ahalf minutes and you sat down,
(48:05):
so you tried it.
So now, next time, what are wegoing to do?
You know, next time?
And yeah, exactly, and so, um,I also think at the end.
So the last part of this um isso like uh, I don't want to say
(48:31):
like pointed or very, like,almost like challenge.
It's like a call to action kindof.
Is you know?
So, so that his place shallnever be with those cold and
timid souls which you've alreadyreferenced, who neither know
victory nor defeat.
So, basically, he's like.
He's basically like wow, you'rejust sort of a sad sack.
Like, if you're not in thearena, you're never going to
(48:52):
know victory or defeat.
Like, even if you think youthink you know victory, you
don't know it because youweren't in there, you didn't.
You know, you didn't do all thethings.
We just talked about.
Speaker 1 (49:02):
You know what I mean.
So right, it's all vicarious ifanything like the, if you're a
fan of the stands yeah right,you might, but you don't really.
You weren't the one strivingand having to deal with that
sense of defeat and it, yeah,it's even when, when I do like
the phoning it in or thehalf-assing it yeah like I don't
(49:25):
know victory and I don't knowdefeat, whether it was okay or
not yeah it's just this middleground where I didn't succeed,
but I also didn't fail yeah, andI.
I don't feel either of thosefeelings of success or failure
which then leads to a lack ofenthusiasm.
It's a negative feedback loopyeah right.
Speaker 3 (49:46):
If it's not exciting, it's not engaging, then you
lose interest, you losemotivation well, and I the the
most straightforward example ofthis that I can think of is the
when the, the owner of an nflteam, gets a super bowl ring
(50:07):
right.
So it's like, literally, thisbird, he was not in the arena,
he was not.
He was in the arena but he wasa spectator, right, but his guys
who he's traded and got on theteam and everything, those are
the guys that were in the arena,that actually won the game,
right, but he still gets thering.
So, uh, I mean I would think inthat person's mind they
(50:30):
probably think oh yeah, I won.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
Like I won a Superbowl, you know, but did you
really my team?
I picked them, yeah, right.
Speaker 3 (50:38):
Like I paid the money and I got.
I got the coach that got theguy who got the thing, who
caught the pass, who you knowwhat I mean, like way down the
line.
So I get it.
But at the same time it's likebut did you really win a super
bowl?
I think you, I think you, uh,your team that you own won a
super bowl, but did you?
Speaker 1 (50:57):
I don't know about that, you know yeah, I who I can
empathize with the whole from abeing a manager standpoint yeah
I never really know when I'msucceeding or failing, or yeah,
you know, cause there's so manyjust close calls from our
projects going down or somethingthat I happened to chime in or
(51:19):
whatnot, or you know, I gentlyencourage this colleague with
this or that and it's like Idon't.
I'm not in the arena, I'm just.
I'm the coach.
Yeah.
And because of that, though, Ionly ever know that victory or
defeat vicariously right andit's.
(51:39):
I can almost empathize now withmanagers who are guilty of
taking credit or allowing othersto give credit to them instead
of to their team, because it canbe almost like an empty void of
(52:00):
feedback for the manager toknow whether they're doing a
good job or not?
A lot of unseen assistance.
It's hard to know whether youwin or lose.
Right, you win in thegladiatory arena.
It's hard to know whether youwin or lose, right, you, you,
you win in the gladiatory arena.
It's obvious.
Speaker 3 (52:16):
Right, the the lion is dead and you are not yeah um,
but you know, one of youstopped moving and it wasn't you
like that, that's good yeah ifyeah, but doesn't that go back
to like some of the things wetalked about in the past, where
it's like, if you set goals andyou have things for yourself,
you know, granted, are you, youknow you have that.
(52:40):
Like it's the context thatyou're putting on it?
Again, going back to thenothing has an inherent context.
You're you, it's any contextyou want is you're going to put
it on that, whatever that thingis.
And so the question is questionis you know?
Are you in the arena as amanager?
Yeah, I think you are.
I think, um, it can be.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
Yeah, yeah, it definitely can be.
It's just yeah, my I'm notstriving greatly on the, you
know, the individual contributorpiece, but I'm striving greatly
on, you know, keeping things incommunication right making sure
that things don't go off therails and tracking yeah like
there's definitely ways I couldbe doing my best in that regard
(53:22):
and knowing the victory andknowing the defeat yeah, you're
right well, I think that that'sabout all.
Speaker 3 (53:32):
But I think the funny thing is the next episode.
What we're going to be talkingabout is sort of pivoting a
little bit on this and going allthe way back to the top and
going almost back to that firstline talking about it's not the
critic who counts, and a littlebit of that we're going to.
We're going to talk about thata little bit and talk about
(53:53):
without spoiling too much.
You know, you're the way thatcriticism happens, whether that
be internal or external, andthen you know how you handle
criticism, how you handle praise.
I mean praise.
It's funny to me because, likeyou talk about somebody praises
you.
Like I have a really hard time.
I'll take criticism all daylong and say, yeah, you're right
(54:14):
, I'm not good enough, I shouldhave done that better.
And then somebody says, brian,you did a great job, I'm, that's
really awesome.
Like I don't, I don't knowabout that.
Like you know like I'm alwaysdeflecting deflecting the praise
and and taking the criticism orthe critique or the uh, you
know assessment.
So I think that's what we'regoing to talk about in the next
(54:35):
episode and probably some otherstuff, I'm sure I'll object to
things about how to dare greatly.
Yeah, definitely All right.
Well, until next time we out.
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