The Human Detox: Why We're All Worth the Change

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:26):
Thank you, hey, it's your favorite Shift.
Your Story coach, coach Tara,and welcome to another episode
of Her Authentic Voice podcast.
Today, we're discussingworthiness, our worthiness, and
that we are worth the change.
All right, so grab your pens,your notebooks, your journals

(00:50):
and I'll see you in about 45seconds.
Have you ever felt like yourstory didn't matter, that your
voice wasn't enough?
Here's the truth.
Your story is not just yours.
It's a testimony, a light, ablueprint for someone else's
breakthrough.
Welcome to the Her AuthenticVoice podcast, where we break

(01:13):
free from shame, step into boldfaith and use our voices to
inspire others.
I'm your host, coach Tara, andevery episode is an invitation
to own your story, embrace yourpurpose and speak with
confidence.
Are you ready?
Let's go higher together.
Let's live love and beauthentic.

(01:34):
All right, you guys, welcomeagain.
I'm so happy that you're hereand make sure you are
subscribing, make sure you'rejoining.
Welcome again, I'm so happy thatyou're here and make sure you
are subscribing, make sureyou're joining the conversation.
I want to see you in thecomments, ask questions if need
be, but share.
This is a sacred space.

(01:55):
It's a nice space that we havecultivated to just speak, share
conversations, share insights.
So, as a minister, as acertified life coach with the
concentration in behaviorscience, I'd like to give you
teaching.
In the beginning, the teachingis always based on the topic.
It's based on my guests, it'sbased on something that we are

(02:17):
going to touch on tonight.
So tonight is no exception.
And also, I'm a publisher, youknow.
So I will have some book stuffin some later episodes, but
tonight we're going to bedealing with healing, okay, so
go tight, let me pull up my myinfo for you and let's go

(02:39):
through these slides so you areworth the change.
This is something that is tiedinto my guest.
This is her tagline, and Ithought it was really fitting to
do a teaching based on this.
So this is a teaching.
It's a mini teaching, but it'sabout healing and patterns and
just becoming who God called youto be.
Amen, all right.

(03:00):
So share this with someone whoneeds it.
And let me get my next one uphere and I'm not going to rush
through this because this issome deep stuff.
All right, so the first one.
You are not your starting point.
You are not your starting point, so write that down.

(03:24):
The brain anchors identity topast experiences, but God speaks
identity based on destiny.
And then you have David, youhave Rahab, moses, esther the
woman at the wall all startedlow.
I'm going to say a little bitmore about this, but I'm just
going over the bullet points andyou don't finish where you

(03:45):
started.
So studies show that humans, us,we have a mental pattern called
the anchoring effect, and thisis where we unconsciously tie
our identity with how or wherewe began.
This means that our brain formspathways around our earliest

(04:06):
circumstances.
So, whether it's poverty,whether it is rejection, whether
it's abandonment, any earlytrauma, even first mistakes,
things like that, you tie youridentity to those things, to
that starting point, and yourbrain keeps telling yourself the
story that this is just who Iam.
You know I am this person, I amwhat happened to me.

(04:29):
I am this way because of this,but identity is not fixed.
So that's what I want you toget tonight, because you're
going to see from her journeythat identity is not fixed.
You can transform.
So your brain tells yourselfthat story.
But you can rewire your brainthrough intentional practice,
through reflection, throughsmall actions every day that

(04:53):
moves you forward.
You can visualize the futureyou want.
You can visualize the personyou want to become right.
So you take small steps to dothat, whether it is journaling,
you know, studying and praying,but doing new things, exercising

(05:14):
things that you didn't dobefore, starting new habits.
So I want to give you a biblicalprinciple God never defines you
by your start, and that's why Ihave David, rahab, moses,
esther.
I have them listed therebecause they weren't defined by
their start.
David started as a shepherd ashepherd boy, you know and he

(05:35):
was forgotten.
But God called him a king,right.
He had a calling on his life asa king.
Rahab was in prostitution, butshe was also a woman of faith.
She did something really scaryyou know to do during that time
and now she's in the lineage ofJesus.
She's named in Matthew.

(05:55):
You know what I mean.
That's huge.
Moses started as a stutteringfugitive, but God used him to
lead a nation out of bondage.
Esther orphan, right.
But then she was positioned asa queen.
So just think about startingpoints to where you become.
Mary Magdalene.
She had like seven demons, butshe was also the first one to

(06:19):
witness and preach about theresurrection of Jesus, the first
one.
That's huge, you know.
So think about where you startedversus where you are now, and
don't continue to defineyourself by where you started.
The Lord says in Jeremiah 29,11,.
For I know the thoughts that Ithink toward you and they're

(06:41):
thoughts of peace, they're notevil and they're to give you an
expected end.
So the emphasis is on expectedin.
There is an expected end foryou, there is a destiny for you,
there is a defined future foryou and it's beyond where you
started.
Okay, amen, all right.
So the next one is generationalpatterns.

(07:03):
Generational patterns mayexplain, but they don't have to
define you.
They may explain you this iswhy I'm this way but they don't
have to define you.
So we had Dr Tanya on about twoor three weeks ago and she
spoke on epigenetics.
So epigenetics shows thattrauma doesn't it doesn't just
affect our mind, it affects ourbody, it's even in our DNA, you

(07:24):
know.
It doesn't just affect our mind, it affects our body, it's even
in our DNA, you know, and itpasses on to our children.
Stress, fear, shame, thatsurvival mode response all of
that can be inherited.
It's not just circumstances,you know.
So, then, when we talk aboutneuroplasticity, it's the
brain's God-given ability tochange.

(07:48):
You can actually rewire, youcan create new neural pathways
and not just be stuck in thesame pattern.
So this shows that we can buildnew responses, we can have new
beliefs, we can have newbehaviors.
So, even though you went throughall of that, even though that's
your family history, you do nothave to repeat your family

(08:10):
history.
You literally you don't owe thepast nothing.
You don't have to do a repeatperformance because your mom did
it, your grandma did it.
You know you don't have to dothat.
You literally can honor whereyou come from without repeating
that.
You know it takes hard work ofself-awareness and forgiveness

(08:31):
of your people, your past andyourself, and creating new
habits.
So I just want you to thinkabout that.
You don't have to keep livingout the same script that was
handed to us.
You were born into that.
You think well, this is justhow it is, this is how
everyone's done it.
You don't have to do that.
You can break that.
You literally can be thepattern breaker in your life.

(08:53):
You can be the one that breaksthe cycle Like seriously,
financially, emotionally,whatever is going on.
You literally can.
It takes work andintentionality, but you can be
the one that steps outside andsay I'm not doing this, we've
been doing this too long thisway.
Something has to change.
So generational patterns theydon't have to define, define you

(09:17):
.
So the biblical principle issecond corinthians 5, 17.
It says therefore, if any manbe in Christ, he is a new
creature.
Old things are passed away.
Behold, all things are becomenew, right, a new creature, not
recycled, not we patched up fromthe past, not patched up, but a

(09:39):
new creature, a new creation.
So I want to leave that withyou.
And I have one more healing isa process.
So allow and embrace thejourney, because it is a journey
.
It's a process, but you have toembrace it.
So studies show and this isalso significant with my guests

(10:00):
studies show that it takes 40 to60 days of consistent
repetition to build a new habitor to build a new neural pathway
, like we were talking aboutneuroplasticity.
40 to 60 days.
So if you want to build a newhabit, you want to change.
It takes intentionality andrepetition too.
So 40 to 60 days.

(10:21):
That's why trauma responsesdon't just go away.
It doesn't go away with oneprayer.
It doesn't go away with onealtar call when we go up.
Why trauma responses don't justgo away.
It doesn't go away with oneprayer.
It doesn't go away with onealtar call when we go up there.
It doesn't just go away.
It takes time.
Some things really do take time.
You know, when you're underpressure, you know your brain
reverts back to what's familiar.

(10:42):
We talked about this before, Ithink last week.
Your brain will go back towhat's familiar.
We talked about this before, Ithink, last week.
Your brain will go back towhat's familiar, the familiar
patterns.
Oh, I know this way.
You go the same way driving towork.
Try a new way.
You can do that without eventhinking.
You can do some things sounconsciously because you do it
all the time.
That's the same way with yourbrain.

(11:02):
But if you start doing newthings, trying new, going on new
adventures, you would createnew neural pathways.
But you can't just do it onetime, so keep doing it.
Build new patterns that arestrong enough to hold, and
they'll be strong enough to holdif you take the time to develop

(11:24):
them.
So we do faith and works right.
We don't just pray, we put, wepractice what we say, we believe
.
So we don't just talk.
We do the same thing here.
It isn't healing.
Healing isn't linear.
You know you're going to havegood days, you're going to have

(11:44):
relapses.
You're going to have bad days.
You're going to have momentswhere you are so clear and then
you're going to have momentswhere you are so confused you
don't know what's going on, butthat's normal.
You know.
That's what happens when youstay in the process.
And you need tools.
Dr Pepsi, dr Teresai, edward,she has a tool for you tonight

(12:08):
we're going to talk about that.
So you need tools and you needcommunity.
You need truth, you know.
So I have a scripture for youhere.
It's philippians 1 6 beingconfident of this very thing
that he, which have begun a goodwork in you, will perform it
into the day of Jesus Christ.
So will perform it.
Listen to the words.
Will perform it.

(12:30):
These are action words, movingwords, ongoing, active words.
He's not done.
So please don't give up onyourself.
Don't give up on the process.
Each day is different.
Some days are better thanothers, but you do not have to
be who they were.
You can create something newright now, today, not going back

(12:51):
to the starting point, notbeing your mistakes, okay, amen.
So remember these things.
You're not your starting point.
Generational patterns mayexplain you.
It may explain why you've donethings you've done, but they
don't have to define you and youcan create something new.
You can, but you need tobelieve that you can, believe

(13:15):
that you can, and then do theaction, take action, but stop
telling yourself what you can'tdo and who.
You're not out there.
Okay, and?
And then healing is the lastpoint is a process.
Okay, it's a process.
So embrace that process,embrace that journey and what
comes along with it, because yougain a lot of wisdom in your

(13:35):
process.
All right, amen, all righty'all.
So I just wanted to go overthat with you.
I hope you took some notes andI haven't been able to see the
chat, but I'll look over therein a second.
But today I have a specialguest and she's the author of
the bestselling book, the 40 DayHuman Detox A Path to Healing,
Inner Peace and Self Discovery,which I've had the pleasure of

(13:56):
publishing.
But also she's someone who'snow become a friend and I honor
her and her journey and I justwant to bring her up, her name
is dr teresa pepsi edwards, andcome on, pep hey girl hello.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
Hey, coach tara, how are you pretty?

Speaker 1 (14:19):
good, pretty good.
What do you think of the point?

Speaker 2 (14:22):
I loved it.
It was exactly what we're goingto be talking about tonight.
I think you took them throughan excellent journey and you
mentioned some things that areex, that are intentionally
important amen, amen.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
I try to line them up with whomever I'm talking to
and what we're going to betalking about, and I know a
little of your story, but Idon't know a lot, so I want to
know more tonight.
I want to find out more tonight.
So introduce yourself, tell thepeople who you are.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
Absolutely.
My name is Dr Teresa PepsiEdwards and I go by either Dr P
or Dr Pepsi.
But whatever you call me, trustand believe I'm going to answer
you.
How much do you want to knowabout me?

Speaker 1 (15:06):
to you, how much?
How much do you want to knowabout me?
I want to know the woman behindthe degrees before we even get
to the degrees, because we'regoing to get to the book, which
is the book is fire.
But before we get there I wantto just kind of go back.
Let's go back there go back,back, back.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
Let's go all the way back.
Take us back to teenage.
I am a young lady that surviveda lot of trauma, a lot of pain,
a lot of rejection.
I am a young lady that decidedto not blame others because of
my pain, but to look at who I amso that I can start a healing
for myself.
I am the oldest of foursiblings.
I am the mother of threechildren and three grandchildren

(15:51):
.
I have been married anddivorced.
I've pretty much went through alot of what a lot of everybody
is going through, from financesnot having enough money to do
things.
First of all, I didn't evenhave a dream.
I didn't have hope.
I didn't see a future formyself.
So to be here today to beaddressed as doctor is amazing,

(16:16):
because when you're goingthrough things and you've been
through trauma, you don't seepast what's in front of you.
So that's who I am.
I am somebody that decided thatI needed to fight.
Every day was a fight.
Every day was a fight for mylife.
Every single day was a fightfor my thoughts.
A fight for existence, a fightfor understanding, a fight for

(16:42):
forgiving, for understanding, afight for forgiving, a fight to
not be toxic to someone else.
Okay, pause Because I want to goa fight, literally, literally,
a fight from within, becauseyour fight every day or every
moment.
We have racing thoughts, so forme, I even wrote a song and I

(17:04):
asked God why was I born?
That's a fight, because theminute you think that you don't
feel that you need to exist inthis world, then you start
thinking other things.
You feel like you don't matter,you feel invisible, and I had
this as a young girl, a littlegirl, and when I talk about my
story I want everybody tounderstand this is not a blame

(17:25):
on my parents, because guesswhat?
When I grew up, I found outthey had their own story too.

Speaker 1 (17:31):
That's when you grew up.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
That's when I grew up , but as that third grader, that
young girl, you don't knowthese things.
You're just trying to figureout why things are happening.
Why are you here?

Speaker 1 (17:48):
I know how you move, so I y'all, I may be cut, I may
come in to kind of reel her in,because when she goes she go, so
I I gotta reel her in so we canget to what happened before we
got to the doctor.
I wanna, I wanna, see atransformation here.
So tell me about you as a childas a child, I experienced, uh,
physical abuse.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Uh, am I?
Can I share a story?
All right, I remember, um, Iwas in the third grade, and the
reason why this sticks out withme because I still feel that
trauma.
I was in the third grade and myparents had this big old
argument.
Well Well, really, my momreally wasn't arguing, it was my

(18:27):
dad.
My dad told my mom to get outand I remember she was in the
kitchen cooking and she wasdoing some things, and then he
looked over at me and he saidyou get out too.
I had no idea why he told me toget out.
In the home that we lived in, ithad a back porch.
This is where we kept our dog,this is where our dog slept his

(18:48):
blankets and so forth.
I have on my pajamas gettingready for bed.
So now my mom and I we're onthis porch.
We slept on that porch.
My mom tried her best to keepme warm.
Now I'm in the third grade, I'mnot even processing this and
still, to this day, to eventhink about that moment.
There are certain smells thattrigger me with it, there are

(19:11):
certain scenarios that triggerme.
But imagine you and your child.
I can't imagine what my momwent through, and as I started
to grow up, I resented lookinglike my mom.
I didn't want to look like herI didn't know why, but I did not
because of the fact and I hatedhim.

(19:33):
So I didn't want to look likeher and I hated him for putting
us out there to sleep on theporch all night you know, all
night and I never my mom mom, wenever talked about it.
I can also remember instancewhere I was allowed I had to get
straight a's and I was allowedone b this particular report

(19:54):
card no, it was essence and o'sand I end up getting an s.
I remember being beaten so badthat I could not even sit down
in school, that I got in troubleto stand up and I couldn't
understand why not one adultcould look and see that
something was going on with me.
Now some people may say well,where was your mother in all of

(20:19):
this?
She was a victim too.
She was a victim too, victimtoo.
She was a victim too, and so Ihad whipped the back of my leg

(20:39):
from a bunch of rulers that heput together.
And I'm only telling my story.
Nothing about my siblings, justme.
I can also think at a timeremember the Nerf footballs he
had the music playing.
He said he didn't want to hearno noise.
So we were okay with that.
So we threw the Nerf football,it hit the floor, we got beat.

(21:01):
I got a beating.
So this caused me to go in thisshell.
And it caused me to go into ashell because I was just at that
point.
I felt like I was in a world ofmy own.
Why am I here?
Why am I existing in the thirdgrade?
Why?

(21:25):
And as time went on, leading upto the night of the sexual
assault, see, he took somethingfrom me that I could never get
back, that I could never replace, no matter what I do.
You know, on this particularnight let me back up a little
bit so I can really have youpicture this trauma my mom had

(21:48):
left and I remember asking her,asking her before she left out
that door Can I go with youplease?
And I was the oldest, so I hadsmaller siblings.
She said no, she didn't comeback, she did not come back.
No, she didn't come back, shedid not come back.

(22:11):
So what my father did?
We didn't know that a telephonecan get cut off.
So I'm nine, my siblings eightand two in diapers.
Okay, we didn't know a phonecould get cut off, how he
tortured us.
I didn't know it was tortured.
Then he would come and he wouldstart talking and we would just
sit there.
Please, let us talk to our mom,let us talk.
He said no, it's a code.
After he would leave I would goget my little brother and we

(22:33):
had a pad.
We tried every numericalcombination and each time we
said mom, mom, mom.
We had notebooks of numbers andnumbers and he did this every
day.
Then one day he tells me youhave to go out and find your mom
and don't come back until youfind her.

(22:55):
I leave with three smallchildren.
I'm nine, we're in alleys.
The smaller ones start crying.
I'm scared.
Men are talking to us.
I'm asking them can they lookin the dumpster?
The smaller one, diaper, washanging and after about seven
hours them crying.
I said I got to go back home,but I feared that he was going

(23:19):
to beat me to death.
But I went back home.
He was drunk.
He left out.
He came back with a brown paperbag, coat 45.
At that time it was the tallcan.

(23:40):
He set me on one side and heset my brother on the other side
.
He gave us each a can of beer.
I didn't drink mine, my brotherdid.
Then he went to the sink.
He came back with two longbutcher knives.
He gave me one, he gave mybrother one and he told us on
the count.
He gave a count and he asked usto push this knife into his

(24:00):
side.
From what I can can recall, Ibelieve my brother either passed
out or or what have you, and Iplayed drunk.
He kept telling me either youpush it in or I'm going to push
it in you.
And he kept drinking and hekept drinking.
Then he started talking aboutall kind of inappropriate stuff.

(24:21):
Then he told me he you go getin my bed.
And I remember clear as day.
I had no idea what was about tohappen to me that night.
All I knew was that I wanted mymother.
I was scared.
This is when the sexual assaulttook place.
I can remember, when I closedmy eyes, exactly what I had on.

(24:45):
I had a red like a littleduster, which was my pajamas,
and it had mismatched sleeves.
I remember him running throughthe house throwing clothes.
My siblings were asleep becausenow it was my job to protect
them.
I remember getting in that bed.
I remember him laying on me.
I remember being uncomfortable.
Then I remember him getting upand telling me to get dressed.

(25:12):
I get dressed.
I remember him taking meoutside, putting me on his
shoulders like everything wasokay.
And I remember being on the topof his shoulders with my eyes
just open, like what in the helljust happened to me.
Just open, like what in thehell just happened to me.
What just happened to me?
I remember him bringing me backand us going to bed.

(25:35):
I remember getting up that nextday as if nothing happened, and
I can see this very clear.
This is all at the age of nine,what you?
Third or fourth grade.

(25:56):
I hadn't even started livingyet at all.
I hadn't even began to startdreaming the one thing that I
did have I was smart becausethat was my outlet.
I didn't know it then, but thatwas my, that was my safe place,
because that was the one thingthat he could not take from me,

(26:16):
that was the one thing that hecould not alter.
And being in the third grade tobe on that mindset is amazing
to me.
Oh, girl, and I can.
I remember one time he had adollar, or whatever the case may

(26:39):
be, and I took the dollarbecause I wanted to go get some
chips or whatever the case, andI took the dollar because I
wanted to go get some chips orwhatever the case.
He set me and my brother at thetable and he put a lighter on
the table and he said my brotherI don't know if him, which one
of us, took it, but we alwaysstuck together he spun that
lighter around.
Think of, at a young age, I'mlearning about fear, I'm

(27:02):
learning about nervousness, I'mlearning about anxiety.
I'm feeling unsafe.
He spins it and you're waiting,and the lighter stops on me.
So this means that he was aboutto strip me and beat me.
I left out, I was just like Ijust can't.

(27:26):
And he, you know, substanceabuse is something that's so
real and altering.
He was so drunk.
I ran in our neighbors they hada somehow I don't know.
We could get up on a roof andit had like a little dip.
And I remember we got up onthat roof and he was calling me.

(27:47):
He came outside, teresa, teresa, and we watched him.
I'd rather fell off the roofthan take another beating from
him and I waited until he fellasleep and then I came back home
.

(28:08):
Now, what scares me about all ofthis?
I can only tell you guys aboutwhat I remember.
What scares me is I can'tremember past.
That.
Is it because I was alreadytraumatized that I don't
remember it, because I don'tthink that just start overnight.

(28:29):
I do remember he.
One time he made me stand withmy arms out for so long and if
they went down it, just he did,he did.
He was more than a physicalabuser.
They went down, it just he did,he did.
He was more than a physicalabuser, he was a verbal abuser.
You know, he had just ways thatjust make you feel like here I

(28:54):
am and I love to write.
So I always was a writer.
I always was a writer, and italso taught me that when I had
pain, I couldn't show it.
I couldn't show it.
I jumped down some stairs andsprung my ankle.
I held it in because I did notwant him to see me in pain.
This is not normal.

(29:14):
You supposed to have feelings,that's who.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
I am Proper responses yeah, yeah, proper responses.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
I supposed to have been able to scream like oh my.
God, I hurt my ankle so I fearedhim.
He also was the first personthat gave me my definition of a
man Trust.
Okay, I had uncles.
I've never felt anyuncomfortable around my uncles
or anything.
Never felt any uncomfortablearound my uncles or anything.

(29:46):
And then it seemed like thiswas a silence, silent abuse,
because you know my mom and Ijust think back and I can't tell
her story.
But I'll tell you this when Ibecame older, I became
appreciative of her, but goingthrough it, I could not
appreciate anybody.
I just was always in survivalmode absolutely.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
How could you appreciate anyone?
The ones who were supposed toprotect you and love you and
teach you how to be were abusingyou and neglecting you and, uh,
rejecting?

Speaker 2 (30:19):
you exactly, we couldn't fight.
And this, this is, this isanother.
I just remember this.
We couldn't fight right, wecouldn't fight anybody in school
, you know.
So by me being smart, sometimesI would get picked on.
But I remember this day it wasthese two girls on our street
and they knew this, you know.
And so they was picking on me,but I could not fight them back.

(30:41):
So this guy, he comes out ofnowhere and don't laugh at his
name, but I'll never forget it.
They called him booty man, forwhatever reason.
He came, he took up for me.
He said you go home and this,that and the other.
And as I was going home, I sawmy parents coming up the street

(31:02):
and because you know he didn'tjump on the girls or anything,
he just told them you know, go,you know, break it up.
So they tells my father that Ihad him jump on them.
Now he never put his hands onthem because he was older than
us or anything.
My father tells me.
He says cause my grandmotherstayed downstairs?

(31:24):
He said go in yourgrandmother's house.
And I looked at my mom and Iwas like this was before the
rape.
I'm sorry, this was before allof that.
And I was looking like why hewant me to go in there.
So I go in there and about 30minutes my grandmother wasn't
home.
Her door was always open.
He comes and he has this two byfour, a two by four.
He makes me put my hands on thechair, he pulls my pants down

(31:51):
and he give me licks with thistwo by four because I had, he
said, I had that young man jumpon them, I had that young man
jump on them.
See, I remember all of this.
It's there.
But what we do, we suppress.

(32:11):
See, even though I remember it,I really didn't deal with it.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
You didn't deal with it.
You didn't deal with it, youjust kept moving.
I just kept moving.
But you're 9, you're 10, butyou're nine, you're 10, you're
11, you're 12.
You hit your teenage years.
What type of teenager are you?

Speaker 2 (32:29):
so you hit your teenage years you don't have,
you're not dreaming, youdefinitely not putting in hope
and you definitely not thinkingabout what your future can look
like, because every day, that'sthat fight I was talking about.
I was fighting myself to feellike I belong.

(32:50):
For so long I felt invisible,because that pain had been
suppressed.
It was probably here.
So, as a teenager, though, Iwill tell you, I was one to not
get in trouble.
Two, I was one to not starttrouble.
Three, I was more than likelydoing something, trying to do

(33:14):
something to keep myself busy,but even though I was doing all
of that, I was still inside, sad, because I still was trying to
process all of that that I wentthrough.
I wasn't old enough, or Iwasn't thinking about blaming.
I wasn't thinking about it wasanybody fought.

(33:36):
I was thinking about why didGod let two people have children
about why did God let twopeople have children?
That's what I was thinking about, and so, as a teenager, I was
thinking about why did God letthese two people have, I would

(33:57):
say me?
Why did did, did?
Why?
Why?
If God gave them me, then whywas I introduced to that?
Why did I go through that?
And it was then, as a teenager,that I learned how much my mom

(34:18):
had went through, how much shesheltered us so that we didn't
know that she went through awhole lot with him.
Ah, so this is important.
So now, because we had astrained relationship, you know,
um, on my mother's side of thefamily, this stuff was like, you

(34:42):
know, like we didn't getweapons and things like that.
Now we probably got a shoethrown at us, you know, you,
because your mouth so smart,yeah, but my aunts and things
like that, it wasn't like this.
So, you know, I'm conflicted,you know, and I hung out a lot
with my grandmother, you know, Ihung out a lot with my
grandmother and I don't want togo into their side of the family

(35:03):
and their story, but I had tounderstand some stuff.
So what happened?
As I'm growing up and beingthis teenager, I'm rebellion, of
course, you know, but I'm notgetting in trouble.
I'm rebellion, I'm being kickedout of the home, you know, and
things like that.
But I never turned myself to dodrugs or drink or anything

(35:25):
because, see, now I hate thestuff because of him, so I'm
just not into it.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
I have a question with that being your background,
with the trauma you endure,endure it at home.
How did your rebellion manifest?
You didn't do drugs, youweren't bad.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
At school.
My rebellion was always, um,fucking up against my mother.
You know rebellion mean, youknow I'm getting smart.
Now I did.
I did still a pair of shoes, um, and I always had a job too,
but I did still a pair of shoes,and I only did it because and

(36:01):
it really don't matter why I didit because I did it, but I did
it because people in theneighborhood was just going to
the mall wearing what they wasgoing to wear, and so they
changed their shoes in the mall,and this is why it's important
to keep your children involved.
See, my mom wasn't raising meeither, and so I figured well,
let me go do what they're doing.

(36:22):
I don't have anything else todo.
I really didn't want to do it,but it just seemed like the most
reasonable thing to do, and Ithink I was like 13, 14
somewhere in there, 14, 15 so Igot caught 14 right, you told me
that you were homeless at 14.
Yes, so how did you?

Speaker 1 (36:43):
become homeless.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
So my mom kicked me out.
She threw.
I was working at a store and Icame home and all of my stuff
was on the lawn At 14.
At 14.
And it was because my mom alsohad her own issues and I'll just
leave it that way and the buckup was about her issues.

(37:06):
And I came home and I justremember that feeling and that's
probably why I moved the way Ido on today's date.
I remember that feeling of justdisgusted that my stuff was out
on the lawn and I'm picking itup and, um, I end up because I

(37:26):
knew everybody, because I wasthe lottery girl.
Um, a lady on the corner by thename of miss Jesse.
She said the lottery girl was.
I was a lottery girl for acouple of years.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
Like you did the numbers, you got the numbers and
collected the money.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
Yeah, that's a whole nother story I'm learning so
much about you, right now.
And she said Pepsi, come downhere and stay with me.
And then her daughter came andsaid I just met her daughter
that night.
She said what's your daughter?
Aren't you the lottery girl?
I said yes.
She said what you doing outhere, aren't you the lottery

(38:03):
girl?
I said yes.
She said you can come home withme and she took me home.
But even though she took mehome, I was so shattered in the
inside I was in pieces, but Ikept that face, but in the
inside, the pit of my stomach, Iwas so broken.

(38:24):
You know home is where and thereason why I say it's homeless.
When we think of homeless wethink of people sleeping on the
street, but homeless is whenyou're somewhere and you don't
feel like you're at home.
You're just here in this spaceexisting because somebody
extended you this space andthat's their home.

(38:45):
So for me, homelessness I felthomeless because I wasn't at
home.
I wasn't at home with mysiblings.
I am in this lady house who Idon't know because I don't know
her, but let me tell you whatshe did for me, and this will be
a whole nother book.

(39:05):
She made me go to school, shefed me, she did all those things
.
And what did I do?
I felt, I felt out of place andI left did you, and well how
long I.
I want to say now don't quote mehere, but maybe it was a few
months or something like that,or it may have been longer.

(39:25):
I just can't put the timeline onit, but I can just take you
through those emotions.
Even though she never, evermade me feel uncomfortable, it
wasn't that.
It was the brokenness in methat wouldn't allow me to be
seen and receive.
She made me make my bed toeating broccoli, all of this

(39:49):
stuff.
She talked to me but I leftbecause I felt like I was a
burden, so I felt homeless.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
I don't want to even rush through this because I'm
like I'm connecting the dots ofthis trauma that we go through
and how we can't receive loveand the Lord will bring people
into our lives to show ussomething better, but because of
all the fragmented pieces, theshatters, you can't even receive
it.
You can't you.

(40:18):
I wonder if you have did youwonder, is this real?
My own mama don't even do this.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
I think, just if I can go back in time, every day
was surviving.
Every day was a fight.
Every day was survival.
I knew a couple of things forsure.
I knew that I wasn't going tobe a person that was going to
break the law and do things, nomatter what I was going through.
I felt like that was a choice.

(40:44):
But I also knew there weretimes where I just felt like, oh
my God, I just want to give up,I just want to just stop and
whatever happens, happen.
But there was something in me.
See, god, now I understand this.
God was like okay, yeah, yougave up, you're trying to give
up, but I'm not going to let yougive up.

(41:04):
So the fight was every day totry and make it to try.
If it meant me getting a job,then that's what I needed to do.
If it meant sometimes I wassleeping at friends' houses,
that's what I needed to do.
It did not mean that I neededto put myself out there to be a

(41:27):
part of things that were goingon.
I just felt like those thingswas going to make my life even
worse.
It was just going to add on towhat was already going on with
me.

Speaker 1 (41:38):
But that's wisdom.
You had that level wisdom andthat that level of cognitive
ability at that age.
That's what I'm like wow, I seegod's hand on you already, like
you're in this protective pod.
Even though you're goingthrough all of that, it's like
only so much was allowed becauseyou were still moving and had

(41:58):
an understanding that this ishappening to me.

Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, Like it's, this is like, really Wow.
And I ended up coming back homeand I think my mom put me out
again and I ended up stayingwith a friend from high school
because I kept trying to finishhigh school.
I kept trying to finish highschool, but I ended up staying
with her.
She ended up graduating and I II ended up dropping up,

(42:25):
dropping out.
And so what happened?
I formulated some friendshipswith some young ladies and we're
still the best of friends andwe end up staying together.
But even out that bunch, if wewere to bring one of them in,
they would say, well, pepsi, no,when we got ready to do stuff,
she was like the mama of thegroup Y'all shouldn't do this,

(42:47):
y'all shouldn't do that.
Well, how about if we do thisor if we do that?
My friends, they were risky.
They were risky.
I mean, that's what you do at18, 19, 17, 18, right, you just
be having fun.
But I, looking back, I couldn'teven enjoy it because I was
still carrying all this glassand it was just still cutting.
Imagine trying to pick up glassand it's just cutting.

(43:11):
You're trying to glue it.
And that was me.
But I was around other people,but I didn't want to.
I just felt like, well, if I dothat, that's going to add to
this.
Then what's going to happen?
My whole body's just going toexplode.
I can't do those things.
So they said I was the motherof the group.
If it came to drinking, Ididn't drink.
If they were drinking, if theyneeded a designated driver, it

(43:33):
was me.
Or if it was in my friend, shetold me.
She said no, you always wastelling us to do something good,
do something good, do somethinggood.
I'm like.
After all, I was going through,she said you just always been
like that.
Because one day I asked her?

(43:54):
Because when you, you know, youcan have a perception of
yourself yeah yeah, I wanted toknow.
She said well, no, pepsi, youyou always told us, even when we
wanted to do something dumb,you would say you know that's
dumb, why are you doing that?
We should not be doing it.
And she said but you will goalong with us, but the whole
time you make sure you theminimum, minimum action in

(44:15):
whatever it is.
And I love them so much.
You know we love each other.
But I was still.
I carried that.
I carried it.
I mean, I couldn't even carryit.
Because one thing I want peopleto understand when you're
carrying pain you know we usethese words pain and trauma hurt
.
It's like broken glass insideof you and you're trying to

(44:38):
figure out how to glue thatglass together.
And every time you touch apiece of glass you get cut
because you haven't figured outhow to pick that piece of glass
up.
But I did, and we're going totalk about that later.
I couldn't pick that glass upbecause in my mind I was
shattered.
And then, when I did get theglass together, guess what?

(45:03):
You know, when glass breaking,it had them little bitty fine
pieces.
I couldn't find the fine pieces.
So if you can't find the finepieces, guess what?
You shatter all over again.
You just keep getting to it andyou shatter all over again.

Speaker 1 (45:22):
So my whole life.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
I was trying to find the fine pieces.
Because I had managed to pickup some pieces, because we are
doing some things, but thosefine pieces of glass, if you
ever broke anything and you knowyou start sweeping, why do you
sweep?
You sweep because you want toget all of the broken glass up.
You don't feel good until youget all of that broken glass up

(45:47):
and you don't even trustyourself because guess what?
For a couple of times you weara pair of shoes around girl, you
have my head.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
I'm sorry, you are not wearing, you're not going
barefoot.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
Uh-uh, you're not, and that's how it felt to me.
I didn't trust myself that Ihad got all the fine pieces of
yeah, that's good, I like that.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
I like that.
I want to show a picture.
You sent me a few pictures.
I want to show this photo and Iwant you to tell us how old
were you.
What's going on here?
Because this doesn't even looklike you.
I just want to throw that outthere.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
So my age?
This was in 2008, so if I'm 54now, so y'all don't quote me on
this I was in my 30s, um, ormaybe 40s, because I was going
through my divorce and, um, thedivorce is what I lost it.
See, up until that point Ithought that I was doing a good

(46:46):
job of picking up the big pieces, right, those big pieces of
glass.
But then, when I did thedivorce, everything that I had
went through what I explained toy'all, and some came right back
up and I just could not look atmyself.
And I took this picture becausewhen I was looking in the

(47:09):
mirror, I just didn't see myself, and I needed to see what did I
look like?
Because even though I'm lookingat myself, I'm not seeing myself
.
That little bit of glass that Ihad put together has shattered
even more.
The divorce just cracked theseal.
I I couldn't hold on to nothing.

(47:31):
It just starts spilling out.
This was for the first timethat I realized that I carried
so much in that picture.
Looking at that picture, myeyes are down.
You could see the puffinessaround how much I was carrying.
Yeah, I couldn't even smile youlook, but I objected.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
You look like you were in despair.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
I, but I guess what.
I got up and I went to work.
Yeah, guess what?
I couldn't do it no more.
Because this is who came up.
I had to take off work.
For the first time in my life Ihad to take off work because I
could not.
I was done.

(48:15):
I went, I made a therapyappointment because I was crying
, I had this, I hit depressionand this was in.
This was in 2008.
My parents, you know they hadpassed and just to give y'all
some significance, events, theyhad passed in 1996, four weeks
apart.
I had suppressed that.
I had suppressed at one pointmy ex had left the home, had

(48:38):
came back.
I had suppressed that.
So all these things I was justsuppressing.
I was suppressing my lowconfidence, everything.
But then, when I went out thehouse, my joy came with heck,
because I was a social workerand I ran programs.
Just seeing them feel good, butguess what?
That was only for eight hoursout the day.
Then, when you leave, what yougot right back up.

(49:01):
Yeah, this picture.
When I see this picture myself,I just want to hug her.
I just want to take her and lether know that you are worth the
change.
That's what I would do for herand that's what god gave me
through the book, the hers andthe hymns that are her.

(49:23):
This book is going to hug them.
This book is going to let themknow you are worth the change,
and so that's what that pictureis oh, I got.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
I got another one.
I don't know where you were sothis picture came.

Speaker 2 (49:40):
I can't really pinpoint it, but it came a lot
later because I had workedthrough a lot of stuff and I
think this is going to be apicture that you're going to
show.
But, as you can see, my face dolook a little better.
I started doing some things andI do talk about them in the
book.
I can't quite put the year onthis, so I'm just going to

(50:02):
guesstimate.
It was probably around 2015 orsomething like that.
I may be off, but what thispicture says is that if you just
keep on pushing, one day you'regoing to experience that joy
that you see or that you'veheard or that people talk about.
You just keep on pushing, orthat people talk about you.

(50:26):
Just keep on pushing.
Take a deep breath, pepsi.
Just take a deep breath.
If you keep doing the good workthat God have you doing, he
said he's going to take care ofyou.
So you keep on creating stellarprograms.
You keep on creating programsfor kids.
Because I managed abuse andneglect programs, those programs
were important to me.
I felt like being a leader.

(50:46):
In those programs, I can putthings in place that I needed,
yeah, yeah or even find out whatthey need.
Nothing is wasted.
Right, nothing is wasted.
So this picture is me holdingmyself, holding myself and

(51:09):
telling myself things Just holdon, keep pushing.
God haven't forgot you.
Yeah, you might still feelinvisible right now, but you are
being seen.
Yeah, you might not feel likeyou are loved, but you are loved
.
Yeah, you might not feel likeyou're doing the right thing as
a parent, but you're doing thebest that you can do yeah, you
might not be.

Speaker 1 (51:28):
Where does it come from?
I know you're saying nowhere,I'm still like where does that
come from you?

Speaker 2 (51:35):
just had, it just was in you.
These are things that's in mymind.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
These was my own conversations this positivity,
this speaking, this ismiraculous.
The history that you have andyou haven't even said it, I know
you told me homelessness.
You said you were a young momon welfare.
You told me that, yes, that youwere yep, so I had my uh first
child.

Speaker 2 (51:59):
Well, actually I pregnant at, so this was part of
that Probably.
I don't know if it said it wasrebellious, but every time when
I did want to really dosomething rebellious, it's like
I always had an angel orsomething.
But at this time I was hangingout with a young lady and we
were, like I said, I alwaystried to do keep myself busy
because I didn't want to add onto what was already going on

(52:22):
with me.
So I decided to be a rapper andall this stuff.

Speaker 1 (52:26):
Wait, wait, wait.
You be throwing you gross.
So I decided I was going to bea rapper as a teenager, but I
found out I was better.
You want to bust around?

Speaker 2 (52:37):
Yeah, well, no, I don't know about that, but I did
.
I did when I was doing this,acting stuff with you know,
keeping myself busy, but Idecided I was better as a hype
girl next to a young lady andshe was phenomenal and during
this time, you know, becausewhen you get up 17, 18, you know
, you were inquisitive.
So I was inquisitive and thisguy he was, you know, showing me

(53:01):
attention and he was good to me, but I should have known any
time.
The mama let me spend the nightand I'm underage, that's a
house that's not being watched,but this happens to us.
We don't know, you know, wethink it's cool, you know.
So I end up getting pregnant.
It's not cool.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
Well, it's not now, but no, it was never cool.
I'm just saying the message tothe parents.
That's listening?

Speaker 2 (53:26):
yeah, it's never cool , but I'm just trying to tell
y'all where my head was at thattime 17, I was his girlfriend,
he was my boyfriend and his momshe didn't mind me staying over
um, it was uh, it was reallycrazy for me because I was still
processing what happened as alittle girl.
So I didn't really understandsex like that, didn't really

(53:52):
understand my body like that,and I was uncomfortable and I'm
just being authentic with youguys because of what happened to
me.
I didn't know what emotions Ishould be feeling, of what
happened to me.
I didn't know what emotions Ishould be feeling.
So, to make a long story short,I became pregnant and I had to
have an abortion because it wasmedically necessary for my own

(54:12):
safety, and so that was myunborn child, and I believe I
was probably pregnant with twins.
So that's when I was 17.
And then, when I turned 19, Ibecame pregnant with my daughter
.
And when I became pregnant withmy daughter, this was during a
time when I was hanging around.
Remember, I told you it was abunch of us, yeah, females.
And you know, if you talking toTommy, we like Tommy got a

(54:35):
brother.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
So you know it's 10 of y'alland 10 of them and maybe four of
y'all make it and the otherones don't, and that's what
happened.
So we, you know, and then I gotpregnant and I was like, oh my

(54:55):
God, like nobody had to talkwith me about condoms and birth
control and things like that.
So being pregnant was it was.
I was shocked, you know, likehow could this happen?
But really, how could it nothappen?
So I didn't have, I didn't have.
My mom didn't talk to me aboutthose things, you know.
So she was just more soconcerned with me not getting
pregnant at 15, because I'm aproduct of a teenage mom.

(55:18):
But at 15, I wasn't eventhinking like that, I was in
survival mode.
But she just thinking aboutwhen she got pregnant, but she
didn't have the talk with me.
So I get pregnant and I'mpregnant with this baby, and no
harm put on the dad.
I don't want this to turn intobashing about the dad.

(55:39):
I'm just telling it from myperspective.
I will say to this date he hasapologized, but at that time he
didn't want any more kids.
I'm like, well, I don't knowwhat to do.
I just know my stomach growing.
I didn't have money to get anabortion, so I go into FIA.
The worker belittled me, shemade me feel bad.

(56:00):
She said how could you bepregnant?
You can't take care of thisbaby.
She said why don't you go?
Stay with the father?
And I'm explaining to her.
And y'all remember them brokenglasses.
So now I am carrying life in me, but I'm still broken.
So guess what that life gets?
That emotion okay.
So I go back to the house wewere living in with all the

(56:23):
girls.
She tells us y'all not working,y'all got to go, you got to go,
y'all got to go.
So I'm pregnant at 19.
I'm not sure where I'm going togo.
My mom, she just really wasn'tdealing with me.
You know she was dealing withher own issues and I don't know
why.
I know people are like, well,why didn't you reach out to your

(56:44):
auntie?
You know, I think it was moreembarrassment.
You know I was embarrassed.
I didn't want to tell mycousins you know they doing a
thing, you know they going tocollege and this that I was
homeless and at this time I wasstill a high school dropout.
Okay, so what happens?
I go back to the store as beingthe lottery girl and I get a

(57:07):
place.
Nothing's in it and the dad,he's like he wants no part of
the baby.
But what really tore me withthat?
During the pregnancy I had to goget testing because they said I
had sickle cell, sickle celltrait.
And they asked me did thefather have sickle cell trait?
Now, this man not talking to me, he done hung up on me.

(57:28):
I got two me and this $2, butbus fare.
Back then I had a dollar thereand a dollar to get home.
I took a quarter of that tocall him to ask him listen, I
don't know what I'm doing here.
You have two children alreadythey asking me questions.
He hung up on me and I rememberat the phone booth, crying,

(57:51):
sobbing inside, Herman Kiefer.
I go back in there, embarrassed, distraught.
The lady told me she said don'tworry.
She said don't worry, you justkeep taking your vitamins, keep
doing these things, et cetera,et cetera.
And I remember.
Now I have to figure out howI'm going to get home because I

(58:11):
had to spend a quarter to callhim.
I had to ask somebody for 25cents.
For 25 cents I get on the bus,I go home.
By this time I made it back tomy mom house.
I was in and out of my momhouse.
So I have the baby.

(58:31):
He didn't come.
They kept her.
They told me she could not comehome if I don't have a car seat
.
Well, I didn't even have a carand even I worked as a lottery
girl.
I made $100 a week.
My mom took 75 of that, so theyleft 25.
I needed a car seat.
So they said, luckily shewasn't going to be discharged,

(58:55):
she had jaundice or something, Idon't know, and I had to figure
out how to get a car seat.
I cried, I cried, and one of mycustomers at the store, the
lottery lady.
She said I want to be, I'll beyour baby's godmother.
She said I'll buy you a carseat.
And she bought me a car seatand she took me to the hospital

(59:16):
and I was able to bring her home.
But bringing her home, I stillhad stitches and my mom she.
So, with the sexual assault.
I did tell my mom and she didtry to kill him.
Okay, she did try to take hislife but it bothered her.
So we are fast forwarding.

(59:37):
So she really didn't want me tohave interaction with my
stepdad.
Okay, and that was her stepdad.
Okay, and that was her being amom.
She was dealing with her ownissues.
So he could not take me to thegrocery store.
So I had to walk 12 blocks.
I thought my BJ was going tofall out.
And this, these stories I'mtelling you all when people try

(01:00:00):
to figure out the way I move.
I have been persevering waybefore.
You see the perseverance thatyou see my God.
Walk 12 blocks holding my VJbecause I didn't know it.
All I know is they used to saywhen you have a baby, it come

(01:00:21):
out your whole inside.
I walked there and back to getthis baby some formula.
My mom said I can only use onepot in her house.
One pot, that one pot.
I heated up her bottle and shedid watch her when I went to
work and then she did it to meagain.

(01:00:43):
I get off work to work and thenshe did it to me again.
I get off work, all of me, andthe baby stuff is on on the
porch.
I grabbed this baby.
We travel all the way to theeast side of Detroit where my
family was.
I had to keep my job, so I wouldget up, catch the bus, leave 12

(01:01:04):
noon to get to work at threeo'clock, get off at seven to get
back to her at 11.
There are some things that Ihave done that made me and this
is what I talk about Fight.
I had to literally fight If Idid not want to be taken out
this world from my own emotionand feelings.

(01:01:25):
I had to fight and thinkingback.
I don't know how I did that.
I was always scared.
Downtown Detroit.
Here I am 19.
So there's so many events in mylife that has played in who I
am today and why God have medoing this work.
This work just didn't startfrom this book I've been doing

(01:01:49):
it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
You've been doing it.
I'm listening and all I hear isresilience.
And you had an innerdetermination and an inner
resolve, because he put it inyou.
He put it in you a willingnessto not give up, a willingness
not to fail to know.
There's something greater forme.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Even if it has to be.
And, mind you, I still didn'thave this hope, I still didn't
have no dreams, I still didn'tknow.

Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
But you still had an inner resolve to keep going,
though.

Speaker 2 (01:02:19):
Well, because I know I went to college.
But I don't want people tothink well, I went to college
because I was going throughthose things.
That came way later.
That came about when I had mydaughter, my first born, changed
my life because when I finallylooked at her I said I cannot
bring you into this life ofpoverty.

(01:02:39):
I have to do somethingdifferent.
How can I I knew what I hadwent through for 19 years how
can I honestly look at her andsay this is my child and I'm
going to bring her in this?
So she was my strength to dosomething different.
And I went and I went to a sixmonth school and I thought I was

(01:03:03):
about to graduate and be amedical secretary.
He said you don't have yourhigh school diploma.
I said well, why do I need that?
I just ate all your classes.
He said you're going to needthat to get your final
certificate.
I said what?
So I go enroll in GED school.
By this time I finished thatprogram, but I didn't get my

(01:03:26):
full certificate.
But I finished it and by thistime y'all, I'm on baby number
two and I go to GED school.
I go to GED school and I'mpregnant.
Baby number two ain't got here.
I was mean, I was nasty, I wassmart mouth because I had had
enough anyway and I didn't wantnobody to say nothing to me.

(01:03:47):
There was a man, mr KennethDeVito.
He stood on the outside of hisclass every day.
He was from Wayne StateUniversity.
I wobbled myself by it.
He said good morning.
I said why are you saying goodmorning and I go?
He wait for me to come the nextday.

(01:04:09):
I was like quit talking to meand he said I want you to come
in here.
I said I want to hear nothing.
You got to say Cause now I'mangry.
I didn't have one child.
The first child, father likethat's not my child, I'm on.
The second child, he he's likeokay, I'll take the first and
the second, but we still havingissues and not all on him.
It was me.
You got to remember.
I got all this stuff in me bythe time.
One day he says something andI'm gonna be smart and saying
you know what I told myself, I'mgonna go in there and see what

(01:04:31):
he talking about, because hejust gonna stand there every
single day and speak to me andtell me to come see about his
little stuff.
So when I go to school tomorrowI'm gonna go see about his
little stuff.
So this is what I told myself Icome.
I said good morning.
What is it that you want to tellme?
Right?

(01:04:52):
Well, you know you can go tocollege.
I said what is that?
He was like.
I said no, I can't go there.
My mother don't have no money,and neither do I.
I said do you see, I'm in thisGED school?
He said yeah, I see you in thisGED school.
He said but you can go tocollege.
I said well, who gonna go tocollege?
I got one child at home and Igot one in my stomach.

(01:05:14):
He said if you come down toWayne State?
I said what is that?
It's a university.
I said what is a university?
And he explained it.
I said I don't know what you'retalking about.
He said if you come, I willgive you an appointment.
This is how he talked to me.
I was nasty, he was so calm, somaybe.
I said I'm going to go see whathe talked about.

(01:05:35):
So I caught the bus down there.
He sat me down.
He said do you know what youwant to be?
I said I don't want to be onwelfare.
I said I don't want to be onwelfare and I did my neck like I
said I don't want to be onwelfare.
He said well, do you have youever thought about what you want
to do?
Why would I do that?
I said nobody ever talked to meabout that.
I said I'm not dumb, I'm not,I'm not stupid.

(01:05:56):
He said well, I know that.
He said because look at yourGED scores.
You score higher than most kidscoming out of high school.
I said why am I here?
He said I want you to pick acareer and do what.
I said okay, the only career Iknow about is doctors with the
white coats.
I said let me look at thatcareer thing.
So I looked at it and I seenphysician assistant and I seen

(01:06:18):
like money.
I said this is what I want tobe.
He said are you sure?
I said you asked me.
This is what I want to be.
He said I want you to take thisassessment, some test, and they
asked you about changing tires,all this.
He said you're more of a peopleperson.
You see all of this.
He said social work.
I said well, how much do theymake?
He said don't pick for money.

(01:06:40):
Pick for what you're compatiblewith.
I said, sir, I made.
I said I'm on welfare, I got$5,000.
We get 5,000.
I said it's probably 4,992 forthe whole year.
I need to make money.
He said look at what a socialworker do and look at what a
physician assistant do.

(01:07:01):
Well, I knew I wanted to wantto be a physician assistant.
That was like, oh no, I don'twant to do that.
But I started looking at socialwork and I was like, well, I do
like people.
I said, but I don't know ifpeople like me, but I do like
people, cause I remember when Iwas the lottery girl and how I
love when people come in.
And so I looked at the socialwork.
So then the button in me sayhow long is this going to take

(01:07:21):
me, cause I need to finish.
So he set me up and I rememberhe had me filling out financial
aid.
I didn't know what it was.
He explained it to me.
Financial aid came back.
He said you can go to college.
I hugged him and I remember himstanding like this and I was
like and I didn't hug people,but I hugged him, I was like you

(01:07:41):
, you rich, you made it happen.
He said no, no, no, this isfederal aid.
And I said, but I said he saidOK, you can let me go, teresa.
I said OK, and I rememberbecause I had the two.
And I told him.
I said I'm going to go every day, I'm not going to let nothing
stop me, I don't care what'shappening, I'm going to go every

(01:08:04):
day.
And you said I can get thesethings.
What are they called?
And he told me he saidassociates, bachelors and
masters.
I said I don't know what theyare, but they sound like they go
.
And I told him.
I said they're going up.
And if I'm going up, that meanI'm doing something good.
I said I'm gonna go all the wayup, so I go.
In between I go, and in betweenI'm going to college.
I mean I'm going on snowstormday, school clothes sliding into

(01:08:28):
the door.
I'm going, I'm not missing aday.
I'm catching the bus, I'm doingeverything.
And then, right in the midst ofit, I get shot in the leg.
So I get shot in the leg, yeah,yeah, um, and that story is

(01:08:52):
like um, we don't talk about thedetails because it involved
other people.
But I go into the hospital.
They keep me for about two orthree days.
That fourth day all I wasthinking about was missing.
My class could have died.
But I was like I made a promisethat I was gonna finish school.
So I get out, I go to class,leg stuck out the hall, the
aisle of the class, and Ifinished class.

(01:09:14):
I was not gonna let anythinghappen.
So I'm going to school, finishmy associates.
The year I'm supposed to finishmy.
My parents passed four weeksapart.
They passed four weeks apartright after I finished and I was
going to Wayne State working onmy bachelor's.

(01:09:35):
But I promised him that I wasgoing to finish.
So I had to finish.
And remember I talked to youabout that suppressing.
See, y'all follow me, I'msuppressing stuff, I'm not
dealing with it, I'm justpushing it down.
1997 come, I'm in my bachelor'sprogram, I get my first

(01:09:58):
paperback and it had 100 redmarks and I said I'm not doing
this, I'm not doing this, I justfinished this college thing and
you telling me I can't write.
So I go into the school ofsocial work and I sit down and I
tell I talked to Ms Clark who'sDr Clark now.
I said I quit.
She said you're quitting what?

(01:10:19):
I said I'm not doing this.
Look at all these marks.
She said no, this is whatyou're going to do.
She gave me a stack of books.
There was English and all kindof stuff and she said she said
now you go in the basement ofthe school of social work and
you figure out how you go, whatyou're going to need to do for
your next paper.
I don't want to do this.
I'm crying, but I but, eventhough I was crying, this is

(01:10:41):
what I had learned to do.
Cry but even though I wascrying, this is what I had
learned to do.
Cry.
And we and I'm crying and I'mpicking up the books and I'm
going down there and I made itagain.
I said the next paper, I'mgoing to get 99 red marks.
I was too scared to sayanything less than that because
100 was enough.
But by the end of that class Ifinally got a paper and it
probably had 10 red marks.

(01:11:05):
I say this to say I graduated in1998 with my master's.
I mean my bachelor's in 1999with my master's.
So somewhere along the linewith these things I've learned
when I do something.
I have to go all the way withit, because there was a time
when I didn't have no power.
Here I have power and I canregulate this, so it didn't

(01:11:28):
matter.
People called it insensitiveand they may say I'm insensitive
now.
I don't let nothing, nothing,detour me when I'm on my driven
path.
You could be my child, youcould be my own finger.
It could be my own finger.
I had surgery.
What I was doing?
I was just going to say thatListen she literally had surgery

(01:11:53):
on her arms.

Speaker 1 (01:11:54):
and this girl I was like, right, yeah, I didn't even
understand you.

Speaker 2 (01:11:59):
so much better Somewhere along the line.
These things developed in me.
Yeah, they may not be the mosthealthiest, but they were things
that worked for me.
And so, even though I see, theschool of social work was my two
years of therapy, I tellanybody, because I had to learn
how to know myself before I cango out into the world absolutely

(01:12:23):
and be a social worker.
So those two years was like, ohmy god, you know, and you did a
lot of self-interpersonalreflection in social work and
things like that and that's whathappened.
So, when 1999 came along, I wasdone.

(01:12:44):
I had, in fact, when they said,do the tassel, I was so crazy,
I was done.
I had, in fact, when they said,do the tassel, I was so crazy.
I was like this I was exhausted, but I got that master's in 10
months.
And when I, when I got mydivorce, all this stuff that
I've shared with you all, that'swhen y'all see the 2008 picture

(01:13:06):
, because guess what, you canonly mask for so long and you
can only and see this is in 2011.
So this was around that timewhen I was trying to, when I was
trying to build myself and findmyself.
So in 2008, you saw thatpicture right Now.
This is 2011.
So 2008, 9, 10, 10, 11 thosethree years, I'm like, okay, I

(01:13:28):
can find myself, but even withthis picture, this was a fight
to do this because I stillcouldn't get them fine pieces
and I talk about it in the bookand I know we're gonna talk
about it later, but there's aline in there that I say we have
lied to ourselves for so long.
For so long we lied, I lied, Ilied to myself.

(01:13:54):
I did what I needed to dobecause I still need to work and
I still needed to bepresentable, but behind it I was
just like, oh, oh, my God.
And that doesn't mean I'm notsaying I wasn't functional, you
guys.
What I'm talking about is therewas this part of me that I
probably didn't even know, Ididn't understand until I
started and did how we got tothe book and I'm not talking

(01:14:17):
about because I've always been aprayerful person.
I believe in God.
God is the head of my life.
I always was the person I'mgoing to go work out, because
they say endorphins make youfeel good.
I'm always the person that'sgoing to be around where you in
a crowd and you feeling good andyou doing this.
But after you done did all ofthat, you go on a therapy, you

(01:14:41):
work out, you might even haveyou a little wine, if that's
what you do.
You didn't sit on your teethbecause you sit there and you
like I got this.
You didn't do all of that andit only worked for a while.
What?

(01:15:10):
Out of nowhere, you hit withthis indescribable emotion that
you can't even articulate whenyou go back to therapy, that you
can't even articulate when yougo to your doctor because you
can't explain it.
You just know that it show up,it's disrespectful and it causes
you to question yourself,question everything that you've
done in your life.
Is that what brought you toyour detox?
This is what brought me to mydetox.

Speaker 1 (01:15:34):
So let's go there, let's start talking about the
detox you took yourself on andhow it came about with the book.

Speaker 2 (01:15:43):
So this is what 2025?
So let's go.
There was in 2024.
So if you guys heard everythingthat I didn't told you, so we
talking about all 53, I meanlike 30 something years of just
stuff, just, and I think I'm inthe best spot ever, but remember
that that mask is still there,right, because we know how to do

(01:16:08):
it, but it wasn't as bad, butit was still there.
So this day I woke up and itwas there.
It would come and it would go,and I couldn't figure out and it
would be during times.
I'm happy.
I'm like why do I feel likethis?
So this particular time it cameand I told myself.
I said self I'm not doing this,no more.
I need to know what this is.

(01:16:29):
I done, did everything, god.
I done.
Did everything, god.
I pray.
I'm good to people.
I'm trying to get my healthtogether, my health together.

(01:16:52):
I'm working out, I'm journaling.
I didn't went to school.
I'm not on drugs.
I ain't perfect.
I make mistakes.
That's not what I was saying.
I said, but why?
So I told that emotion.
I'm dealing with you and thisis how I'm going to do it.
I said I was going on a detox.
I said on my detox and becauseI always put rules and stuff, I

(01:17:13):
said, teresa, you're not goingto put no rules to this, you're
just going to get up and you'regoing to write whatever is on
your mind and then you're goingto put a length of time.
How long do you feel thisemotion?
How long it lasts?
When do it come?
I needed to know more, becausethere was me.
Me going to therapy wasn'tgoing to help me with that.

(01:17:34):
Me going to my doctor wasn'tgoing to help me with that.
I couldn't even explain to themwhat that was.
So the only person that coulddo it was me.
So I went and got me on myphone.
You know, on my phone I saidlet me find a journal app, cause
really I'm a writer.
I said I'm gonna do this alldifferent.
Usually I will write my stuff.
I said, well, obviously thatwasn't working either, cause

(01:17:55):
you're still showing up, so I'mgonna do something different.
I'm going to journal it on myphone.
Now, I didn't really like that,but the whole thing about this
was to do something different,because I needed a different.
I needed a different ending.
I couldn't, I could not keepthis same ending and I started.

(01:18:15):
So the first day I did thedetox, I'm like, hmm, all that
was on my mind.
But day two, all that I toldyou about was all there, and so
I wrote it.
And then I would go back andread day one because now I'm
seeing like, is there some typeof connection here?

(01:18:35):
Like what, what, why am I stillwriting about this?
I thought I dealt with thisRight.
So I'm detoxing.
Then I figure out as I'm goingalong, because you know, the
first time when you start, youknow you write about everything
that is mentally killing you,whatever it is you write about,
and I'm like I'm gone.

(01:18:56):
This is the process you wentthrough?

Speaker 1 (01:18:58):
or are you talking about the book?
No, this is my process.

Speaker 2 (01:19:01):
This is your process, ok, so because I'm writing.
But then as I'm going along, Istart adding little things for
me to do.
So if I wrote about somethingI'm like, well, then I need to
do this, whether it was writesomething down to keep me
focused, cause we would cause.
I promised myself I was goingto do the 40 days and I don't
know why I picked 40, but 40, Ifigured, you know people say you

(01:19:31):
need 30 days to do something,and I just didn't trust myself.
So I said go 40.
So 40 was a random number.
I didn't have no specificreason why I did 40, but I did
40.
And so, as I'm going along withthis and I'm just going back to
it I started realizing thecloser I got to the end, the
more peaceful I became.
I wasn't so like when I firststarted.
It was just all this emotion.
And the closer the more daysthat went by, I was writing, I

(01:19:54):
was giving myself tasks, likeone day I was like I'm going to
show up for myself and I starteddoing things, doing things, and
then I started journaling aboutit.
What does showing up foryourself mean?
You know one of the things I sayin a book.
You know people say you got tolove yourself.
I didn't never say I didn'tlove myself, but I know there's

(01:20:15):
a bunch of people who say, hey,I do love myself.
So now what?
And that's where I was atPeople kill me saying you don't
love yourself.
I never said that.
I said I needed to know aboutthis emotion.
That didn't mean I didn't lovemyself and let's just say, okay,
I love myself.
Now what?
Okay, what's the next step?
So this journey allowed me tofigure out what my next steps

(01:20:39):
were.
And so, as I'm going along andI'm getting there and I'm
noticing, I'm noticing something, that emotion that I had.
It started getting further andfurther away.
So I started checking for itlike hey you're there, hey, wait
, wait a minute.

(01:20:59):
So and then I closed it.
Then I had.
Then I said, well, I might lookat my finances too.
So so I looked at my finances,you know.
So everything was you know, itwas here and there.
And I started reading back overstuff and like, oh wow, over
them many days, what can I getfrom that?
What did I learn?
Because you're self-discoveringyourself, right.

(01:21:20):
And then when I got to the 40thday, didn't really have much to
say, but like I arrived, likeI'm like I'm here, but guess
what?
I felt like I found the finepieces, so that process I'd like
.
And then I was like, okay, sofor the next month or so I was

(01:21:42):
doing this waking up, because Iwas expecting that emotion,
because at that time I had noidea that I would be sharing
this with the world.
So y'all, got to think how mythought was.
My thought was still like OK,where is it?
So I'm like this, so I'm goingon, going on.

(01:22:09):
So after a while I was like soI realized I was in what I call
a sustainability pain plan,because when I went through that
, there was things in there thatI said I would do and I was
still doing those things.
So I was like girl, you are ina sustainability pain plan, you
doing the thing so that youdon't.
And then you learn somethingabout yourself.

(01:22:31):
So now you able to articulatethose things to anybody that's
in your path or in your space,so that you cannot right, that
thing don't show up, right, thatteam don't show up.
And then next thing I know sonow I'm ready to write my book.
Now my book was about medropping out of high school and

(01:22:54):
getting my doctorate.
So that's why I was like I'mready to meet with coach tara
and I sat down and I was likeokay, I'm ready to write my book
.
And you like well, what I said.
Well, you said what do you wantto write your book about?
I said well, I got some littleparts and pieces, because I'm
telling my story, but I got, I'mstuck, I don't really know
which way.
And then you said well, why areyou going?

(01:23:14):
I was like girl, I just detoxedmyself.

Speaker 1 (01:23:19):
Yeah, we talked about that.
You shared your story and I'mlike that's good.
But how are you where you arenow?
You know and you're like, well,I just went through this so
that intrigued me.
It's like your story's good, wecan use some personal anecdotes
from your story, but what youjust did is life changing.
That is what you need to writeabout, not that you can do that
later, and I was like, wait,wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 (01:23:41):
I'm like wait, wait, wait.
What Wait, wait, wait, wait,wait.
I'm like that's my journal,though, and Coach Tara said, but
yeah, people need to know this.
And I'm like, but that's mythoughts.
I told people that I've beensexually assaulted, but I didn't
go here or I might have saidthis happened, but I'm like, but

(01:24:03):
that's my deep, that was my,you know, that was my hidden
space that I had from the worldthat I went way down in there.
See, we got a space in us thatwe hide from the world.
We do, and we hide it becausewe only tell so much of it.
We don't tell it all.
So I had went all down in thereand so I was like Coach Tara

(01:24:25):
Taylor.
I was like I don't know, Idon't know about that.

Speaker 1 (01:24:29):
Oh, I was so sure.
Oh, I was so sure Open, I wasso excited.

Speaker 2 (01:24:32):
Guys Like this is it.

Speaker 1 (01:24:35):
This is what you have to do.
So and you did it.
Where's your book?
Let's see it.

Speaker 2 (01:24:41):
OK.
Oh, one other thing I need tolet you guys know, one thing I
did say to coach Tyra if I'mgoing to share me my thoughts or
do this this way, it has to besomething that's going to help
at least one person.
I just did not want to writesomething and just have a

(01:25:03):
journal with blank pages.
So guess what?
Y'all, I'm in the journal too,so I do it, I show you, I tell
you, I'm giving yourauthenticity, and then I have
you do it.
So I'm in the journal too.
So I'm taking a big risk, yeah,but it's worth it, because you
are worth the change, I'm worththe change, you worth the change

(01:25:26):
.
So this, what happened?
This is the book, it's the40-day human detail pull it up
closer.

Speaker 1 (01:25:32):
Okay, there, you go a little bit back, come back a
little bit.
Okay, there you go.

Speaker 2 (01:25:39):
The thing about this is, I realized, when you are
journaling you need a lot, lotof space.
So we made a companion journal.
We did, and the companionjournal allows you to really,
really really put all of what'sin you out of you, because our
minds, believe it or not, it'slike a file cabinet.

(01:26:00):
And, if you know, before wecame with these electronic file
cabinets, we had the old filecabinets.
You got a, you got a folder,you stuck your papers down in
there.
You put them in alphabeticalorder.
But what happens with our mind?
We start a file cabinet, we putthose thoughts in there and we
move it to the back.
We start another folder, wemove it to the back, but when

(01:26:21):
your trauma starts showing up,you just start pushing it down
in there.
It's just like.
It's just like.
And then you got that drawerand you're trying to close it
and them papers pulling out andyou just pushing them in.
That's what happens until youexplode.
And then, when you explode,then that's when you realize

(01:26:42):
that you just you, just at yourwits end.
And so this, right here, thecompanion journal, will help you
not to keep pushing andsuppressing.
It is I'm so clean in the inside, y'all, and it's not to say
that I don't run into stuff.
My file cabinet is organized.

(01:27:04):
And when I do because I stillrun into stuff, don't get it
twisted.
But guess what, guess what I'mable to do I'm able to say now,
you know, talk my way through it, and then I file it accordingly
and then sometime I just shredit.
I may still have days where I'mjust like overwhelmed, but what
I'm going to tell y'all, what Idon't have, I don't have.

(01:27:24):
I don't have that emotionanymore because I have a better
understanding of myself.
So what's happening Saturday?
So, saturday, saturday is a bigday.
So Saturday is the launch ofthese, of this book in this
companion journal, and it'sgoing to be held at the Avalon

(01:27:47):
Healing Center in Sasha Lane.
It's at 601 Bagley, detroit,michigan.
But don't worry, if you go towww.40dayhumandetoxcom, you can
register.
And guess what?
At the event, the person thatbring the most guests.
And guess what?
At the event, the person thatbring the most guests, they get
signature pieces.
These will be pieces thatnobody else have.

(01:28:11):
They will be not even myself,they will be the only one that
will have these particularpieces, not even me, the author,
and that's huge.
So this is not.
This is not just for women.
Let me say this this right hereis for men.

(01:28:32):
It's for teenagers.
Because, human, exactly, if Ihad had this at 14, I would be
probably more of a powerhousethan I ever am, but I wouldn't
change my journey for nothing,because I had to go through what
I went through in order to behere for you, in order to create
this for you.

(01:28:53):
So this is not a journey youhave to go on your own.
I'm going through the journeywith you girl this is.

Speaker 1 (01:29:02):
I wish I can just speak to you longer and longer
because it's so much, but Ithank you just for being here,
for being transparent, forsharing.
You have inspired so many.
You are the epitome ofresilience.
I've worked with you for what?
10, 11 months now and you havesurprised me on every level.

(01:29:23):
I mean, you come with it, youdo what I ask, and then some you
know.
But now I understand why youmove the way you move and I just
I love you.
I think you're a great person.
I know, I know, but I want toshow them something and I'm
going to show you this picture.
Yes, I want to move my head.

Speaker 2 (01:29:43):
I want you guys to remember if you, if you can
really quickly put the pictureback up for 2008.
Well, if they can remember, ok,the one, yes, ok, you see this
picture I'm going to move in.
This is me, this picture I tookin 2024.
And I just want you guys to seethe difference.
Want you guys to see thedifference.

(01:30:06):
Oh, look at this.
So when you release what's beenholding you, when you get those
anchors off your ankle, whenyou do these things, it is a
transformation.
This is the receipt.
I had no idea that I would bedoing this.

(01:30:29):
None I wish I can say to youthat I woke up and said that I
was going to create a blueprintfor everybody, but I did not.
I woke up to do it for me, andit turns out that I had to do it
for everybody, for anybody thatjust feel forgotten, that have
been through some things andthey want to see their self
shine.
When I see myself, I can go.
Honey, I'm in the mirror, I'mlike.

(01:30:51):
I like dancing everywhere.

Speaker 1 (01:30:53):
You know I'm doing this.

Speaker 2 (01:30:55):
I'm like, look at this before.
I couldn't do that yeah, and Idon't.
So I I just wanted to show youfrom that to this.
I just wanted to show you fromthat to this healing is possible
and you are worth every singlechange that you would like to
see for you.

(01:31:15):
I've been there and if you'rethere now, I invite you to take
this journey with me.
I don't say I'm taking thejourney with you, I want you to
take the journey with me.
I don't say I'm taking thejourney with you.
I want you to take the journeywith me because I'm going to be
there with you.
And when you go to my website,listen, we got a virtual book
club.
Listen, get in all of that.

(01:31:35):
It's not going to be a robot,it's going to be me in those
classes with you.
With you, you're reading mystory and make sure you do a
review.
Not only just get those twobooks, get the ebook too, for
$2.99.
You want to be able to pullthis thing up everywhere,

(01:31:56):
everywhere you go and read everysingle word in that book, every
quote in that book.
Those quotes were not createdwhen I wrote the book.
Those were quotes that weregetting me through the years.
That's how authentic this is,and then I just pulled it all
together because I needed thosewords at that time in my life.
So I just wanted everybody toknow every quote in there, every

(01:32:19):
period in there, every poem inthere, every picture in there.
Everything in that book is a40-day detox for you, amen.

Speaker 1 (01:32:29):
I love it.
I love it.
I hope you guys are able tocome out on Saturday and be a
part of her book launch andsigning.
You have to register.
I'll be there, so I hope to seeyou guys there.
And if you weren't here, in thebeginning I talked about three
points.
You are not your starting point.
She is a prime example of notbeing her starting point.

(01:32:50):
All the abuse, the rejection,the neglect and everything that
she had gone through.
Look at where she is now, lookat what she did with her life
and I just thank God for thegrace that he's had on her life.
I talked about generationalpatterns.
So they may explain a behavior,but they don't define you.
They don't have to.

(01:33:11):
She is showing that they don'thave to define you Literally.
They are not defining her.
So I'm so like it's just mindblowing.
You're seeing this in actionand how healing is a process.
She talked about the shatteredpieces and trying to sweep them
all up.
It's a process, and how healingis a process.
She talked about the shatteredpieces and trying to sweep them
all up.
It's a process, and how she wasstill trying to get little
shards and things like that.
It didn't happen overnight, youknow, but she did the work.

(01:33:34):
And not only did she do thework, she put it in a book and
created a program to walk youdown.
So this is huge.
I I mean I've never worked withanyone like her before and I've
published over a hundredauthors.
Actually, I've never met anyonelike her, nor worked with
anyone like her.
That is saying something.

(01:33:55):
She challenged me in a lot ofways.
Also, I actually offered her ajob and I'm happily accepted
because.
So I actually offered her a job.

Speaker 2 (01:34:06):
I mean I did and I'm happily accepted because, listen
you, you've taught me so much,coach Tara.
You actually pushed me becauseinitially my thought was this is
another dissertation.
And guess what you guys itactually was and I was.
I should never let me deviate.

(01:34:26):
I came back a couple of timeslike we could just do this.
She said no, it has to beauthentic.
And I'm so glad I did becauseit is really for you.
And before we get off here, Iknow we got to wrap up I want
everybody in the chat, if CoachTara would allow, allow it to
put I am worth the change amen,I'm gonna write it too, I am

(01:34:51):
worth the change.

Speaker 1 (01:34:53):
You are worth the change amen, come on, let me see
it.
You guys, I am worth the change.

Speaker 2 (01:35:01):
I am worth the change ac said.

Speaker 1 (01:35:04):
As Adrian Post said, you are an inspiration doctor.

Speaker 2 (01:35:07):
Thank you.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (01:35:09):
Miss Lewis said she did the work and made the
blueprint Amen.

Speaker 2 (01:35:13):
Thank you, thank you so much Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (01:35:17):
Karan.
Oh, that's Karen.
She said this is good, hey Kay.

Speaker 2 (01:35:21):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:35:21):
Thank you, Adrian said I got my book.

Speaker 2 (01:35:23):
Yes, yes, yes, Please put that review Adrian.

Speaker 1 (01:35:28):
Kim said never let perfection get in the way of
progress.

Speaker 2 (01:35:32):
Kim, absolutely right .
Okay, Perfection cannot.

Speaker 1 (01:35:38):
Yes, it can't.
Ty said yes, you can only maskfor so long, so long.

Speaker 2 (01:35:45):
And we wear that mask .
Well, we can dress it up, honeybut it can only stay for so
long, that's what happened?

Speaker 1 (01:35:51):
we have so many.
Is that okay?
Um k said you are focused likeflint flint baby.

Speaker 2 (01:35:57):
I know some flint people.
Y'all, hey, y'all, are veryfocused so, uh, miss judy's on.

Speaker 1 (01:36:03):
She said you were in a cognitive coma.
It was actually your savinggrace.
She also said you dropped outof high school and it didn't
deter you.
It directed you.

Speaker 2 (01:36:12):
Their abuse, ignited your anointing yes, thank you so
much, miss judy.

Speaker 1 (01:36:17):
Thank you yeah, that's good.
How do we connect with thedoctor?
I have my copy copy.
Yeah, we're going to put thatup, kay, go to
www.40dayhumandetoxcom and onthe website.

Speaker 2 (01:36:31):
There is an email address.

Speaker 1 (01:36:34):
What's your Facebook?
Do you use Facebook andInstagram or?

Speaker 2 (01:36:39):
what's your main social media?
I use Facebook and it's DrTeresa Pepsi Edwards, so her
name.

Speaker 1 (01:36:45):
You can find her on Facebook Dr Teresa Pepsi Edwards
.
So her name.
You can find her on Facebook DrTeresa Pepsi Edwards.
I'm going to take her bannerdown so that you can see her
name and then you can find heron Facebook.

Speaker 2 (01:36:57):
And if you can't find me, go to the website and send
me an email and I will make surethat we are connected.
So we have a lot of iron workto change, show up or come to
the event.
I would love, love, love, love,love to see you.

Speaker 1 (01:37:14):
When you go on the website that you can hear on the
podcast when you go.

Speaker 2 (01:37:17):
Yes, but this has been amazing and I appreciate
every last one of you guysBecause me going through this I
had no idea, but when I tell youI am 1000% glad I did, because
I know that we're going tochange hearts, one heart at a

(01:37:40):
time, and once you go throughthe blueprint, then you'll be
able to help somebody else gothrough the blueprint and it'll
be an entire movement.

Speaker 1 (01:37:48):
Yes, yes, make sure you get the book and join her
program, because you don't wantto walk through it by yourself
if you don't have to.
I'm really.
I'm doing it too.
I'm going to do it with youguys.
I really am.
I'm just so excited about this.
So we're going to wrap up.
I would love for you to pray usout Absolutely All minds clear.

Speaker 2 (01:38:16):
You guys, thank you so much for all of the comments,
and Coach Tower will share themwith me.
But I just want to do an earlythank you to everybody that I
appreciate every single word andall the support.
So if we can take time to bowour heads, lord, I come to you

(01:38:38):
as humbly as I can.
I want to thank you for savingme, to be able to save someone
else.
So many times I wanted to givein and give up, but you told me
not to.
I never understood what thefuture held for me, but now I
have a clear understanding.
I ask that you touch everyheart, every soul, every mind,
every thought, every person onthis call and outside of this
call.
Help them to be healed.

(01:38:58):
Help them to find inner peace.
Help them to discover who theyreally are and be okay.
Peace, help them to discoverwho they really are and be okay.
Help them find the definitionof themselves.
I know what you have done forme and I know what you can do
for them.
In Jesus' name, amen.

Speaker 1 (01:39:14):
Amen, I love that.
I know what you've done for meand I know what you can do for
them.
Oh, hallelujah, hallelujah.

Speaker 2 (01:39:23):
Yes, I have a comment , I just want to read real quick
Someone's driving.

Speaker 1 (01:39:26):
Omar S Ellis says I'm driving, but I'm extremely
touched by your story.
Much love.

Speaker 2 (01:39:32):
Thank you, thank you, thank you, omar, thank you to
everybody, thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (01:39:37):
Thank you guys for watching.
Thank you, dr Teresa PepsiEdwards, for being here and
gracing us with your presenceand your story.
I look forward to seeing you onSaturday and yeah, you guys
were out.
Remember to live, love and beauthentic.
Tune in next week, but we'll betalking to Menzie, who was a
stroke survivor, so I can't waitto talk to her and yeah, take

(01:40:02):
care, don't leave yet, just bebackstage.
Okay, alright, ma'am.
See y'all later.
Love you guys.
Thank you for joining theconversation.
Bye bye, have a great night.

Speaker 2 (01:40:16):
You are worth the change.
Get the book.
Yes, get the book.

Speaker 1 (01:40:22):
That's it for today's episode.
If this spoke to you, make sureyou follow, subscribe and leave
a comment or review.
That's how we get this messageto more women battling shame,
silence and the weight of oldstories.
And if you're serious aboutshifting your story, go take my
free story validation assessmentat her authentic voicecom.
It'll show you exactly whereyou're stuck and what God has

(01:40:46):
invited you to heal.
Next, all right?
Is that all right?
Okay, I'm proud of you, I'mrooting for you and until next
time, remember to live love andbe authentic.
This is your favorite Ship,your Story coach, coach Tara,
and I'm out.

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