September 15, 2025 • 9 mins
Have you ever been thrown out of somewhere fancy? Probably not as spectacularly as our four hapless golf buddies managed at the prestigious Briarcrest Country Club.
After unexpectedly winning a golf tournament and gaining minor viral fame, Lyndon, Allen, Nate, and Shane receive a coveted invitation to play at the most exclusive club in the state. What follows is a masterclass in how to get permanently banned from a golf course in under four hours.
Send me a message, pretty please.
Here For the Memories
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Here for the memories thought-provoking audio memoir
shorts filled with stories,humor, anecdotes and commentary
on social, cultural, businessand religious issues.
Whatever Lyndon remembers andthinks will entertain, challenge
and inform is a possiblesubject.
(00:20):
The collection of memoriesabout one's life allows for the
development and refinement of asense of self, including who one
is, how one has changed andwhat one might be like in the
future.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Greetings and salutations.
This is Lyndon Wool and you'vehad the good fortune of finding
my audio memoir, not a podcast,an audio memoir, I remind you.
It's about my life.
It's something to leave behindas a legacy, if you will, for
the few that know and love me,so that when I leave this planet
there is something they canrefer to about my thoughts, my
(00:59):
stories, a lot of stories, manyof which are true and just
social commentary, religiousissues, excerpts from my life.
If you will, glad you joined,maybe you'll be one of those
that fall in love with me andknow me better, because you've
listened a little bit to me.
If not, maybe you'll just beentertained and informed.
(01:20):
Informed.
We have been following themisadventures of the four
stooges of golf, and it would beLinden, great name, nate Allen
and Shane.
They are fresh off theirmiraculous tournament win,
almost an inadvertent win.
(01:40):
So now, as the story continues,I'm going to call this the ban
at Briarcrest.
How four morons that's not niceimbeciles, idiots.
How four stooges got bannedfrom the nicest golf club in the
state in under four hoursImpressive.
(02:00):
Well, they won this golftournament and they found
themselves the unexpecteddarlings of the local golf scene
.
Their tiktok had gone viral.
Their story was in a small golfmagazine under human interest
slash, mild accidents.
And then it happened aninvitation to briarcrest country
(02:23):
club.
The email was crisp, formal andway too fancy to be addressed
to men who have lost theirdriver in the pond twice in the
same round.
The email read We'd be honoredto host you for a complimentary
round at our private club.
Dress code strictly enforced,please refrain from outside food
(02:43):
, beverages or wildlife anecdote.
And they were in.
So they arrived at Briarcrestand the disappointment begins.
Not because Briarcrest wasn'tbeautiful, it was the kind of
place that smelled like money,generational wealth, pine, more
(03:05):
money, more generational wealth,pine and more money.
The valet wore white gloves.
The locker room even hadcologne options.
Wow, the bathroom had soothingjazz and towel attendants who
silently judged your posture.
Alan showed up in a tucked-inpolo and slacks very reasonable,
(03:28):
because he's a reasonable man.
Nate wore an untucked Hawaiianprint shirt with flamingos
swinging golf clubs.
Shane wore white pants andimmediately sat in a puddle on
the way in.
Lyndon wore a shirt that saidlet's par-tee, that's
P-A-R-T-E-E and Crocs with golftees jammed into the holes for
(03:52):
traction, he said.
The starter blinked twice andasked gentlemen, are you with
someone?
We're guests, lyndon said,proudly high-fiving a head
sculpture, and off to the firsthole.
Allen hit the fairway.
Of course shane did.
Okay, that's typical.
Nate sliced hard, and of coursenate always slices hard.
And I'm sure deep into thewoods.
(04:12):
And linden took two warm-upswings, then whiffed on the
first attempt, loudly anddramatically.
He said breakfast ball.
The caddy raised an eyebrow.
We don't have that rule here.
We play continental rules,linden said, and the caddy quit
(04:33):
on the spot.
Hole five another goose incident.
Shane, attempting to correctfor his usual fade,
overcorrected and hit a drawthat landed directly next to a
very snooty-looking goose.
Briarwood would only havesnooty-looking goose, don't you
think?
Or is it Briarcrest?
(04:53):
Whatever, it's a snooty golfcourse.
So there is this goose,probably the mayor of the
course's wildlife.
But nonetheless, instead offleeing, the goose waddled
toward them slowly andmenacingly.
Not again, alan muttered,backing away.
(05:13):
Nate stepped forward relax, Itook a seminar on animal energy,
you just have to.
And the goose lunged.
Nate screamed and dove behind abunker.
Linden threw a protein bar as adistraction and Shane of course
tried to reason with it.
Somehow they all ended up inthe sand trap covered in
feathers.
And shame, shame, shamefulness.
(05:35):
The marshal was called Strikeone.
Hole nine brought about drinkingproblems, or at least champagne
problems, as Nate pulled out abottle from his golf bag.
What's that, alan asked.
Victory juice, he said youcan't bring your own drinks,
it's sparkling water, it's fancy.
And he popped it open and itexploded like a Fourth of July
(05:59):
firework, soaking a member'swhite linen pants on the next
teabox.
Strike two, as you wouldimagine, on to hole 13, where
there was a pond and some wetpants and some problems which
seemed to follow them, or theyfind them either way.
Lyndon, chasing a wayward ball,slipped and fell halfway into a
(06:21):
decorative koi pond.
Rather than getting out withdignity, he leaned into it.
It cradled a koi and whisperedI am now one of you.
The head groundskeeper faintedand that was strike three.
But there was one more finalstraw the jousting with golf
(06:43):
carts.
While waiting on the last teebox, nate and Shane found pool
noodles in the staff cart.
Naturally, they began, asanyone would, jousting with them
while driving slowly in circles, giggling like toddlers on
Expresso.
Alan, you're going to get usBoom.
And it happened.
They sideswiped a statue ofBriarcrest founder Colonel
(07:05):
Montgomery Chip Braxton III.
Isn't that sophisticated?
Who was reportedly so wealthy?
He once bought a mountainbecause it blocked the sunset.
The statue lost its bronze golfclub arm.
The GM was already waiting atthe 18th degree with a clipboard
and a look that could curdlemilk, gentlemen.
(07:27):
The GM said we're going to haveto ask you to never, ever come
back, even for brunch.
Shane asked hopefully no.
What about if we're reallyquiet and pretend to be ghosts?
Nate added Still no.
Alan just nodded.
Honestly, I'm shocked it tookthis long.
(07:48):
Though banned from Briarcrest,the boys wore it as a badge of
honor.
They had hats made that saidbanned but brilliant, and
started a YouTube seriesentitled Golfing, where we're
Not Wanted.
Linden kept a framed photo ofthe koi.
Nate still claims the goosesaluted him as he ran.
Allen submitted an apologyletter with footnotes.
Shane printed off theiroriginal banned letter on a
(08:11):
t-shirt and they all agreed Nextweek mini-call, because how
much trouble could they possiblyget into?
And they all agreed Next weekmini-call, because how much
trouble could they possibly getinto at a place with windmills?
The story will continue.
This is Lyndon Wolfe and myaudio memoir.
Here for the Memories.
I'm glad you joined and I wouldalso be glad if you had
(08:35):
memories like these, sillymemories, memories where you
made poor decisions and at onepoint you regretted those
decisions and maybe still do.
But now, with that regret, islaughter as you look back on
your own misadventures.
And now you giggle.
The embarrassment is not whatit was.
(08:55):
And you tell the stories andpeople laugh at you and with you
as you chuckle on the inside,knowing life is funny and life
is made of stories.
God bless.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Hello friends, If you appreciate the content and what
it takes to create and deliverit, please consider a small
contribution.
Just go to buymeacoffeecomslash here for the memories.
That's buymeacoffeecom slashhere for the memories.
Much appreciated Woo.
Here for the memories thought-provoking audio memoir
shorts filled with stories,humor, anecdotes and commentary
on social, cultural, businessand religious issues.
Whatever Lyndon remembers andthinks will entertain, challenge
and inform is a possiblesubject.
(00:20):
The collection of memoriesabout one's life allows for the
development and refinement of asense of self, including who one
is, how one has changed andwhat one might be like in the
future.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Greetings and salutations.
This is Lyndon Wool and you'vehad the good fortune of finding
my audio memoir, not a podcast,an audio memoir, I remind you.
It's about my life.
It's something to leave behindas a legacy, if you will, for
the few that know and love me,so that when I leave this planet
there is something they canrefer to about my thoughts, my
(00:59):
stories, a lot of stories, manyof which are true and just
social commentary, religiousissues, excerpts from my life.
If you will, glad you joined,maybe you'll be one of those
that fall in love with me andknow me better, because you've
listened a little bit to me.
If not, maybe you'll just beentertained and informed.
(01:20):
Informed.
We have been following themisadventures of the four
stooges of golf, and it would beLinden, great name, nate Allen
and Shane.
They are fresh off theirmiraculous tournament win,
almost an inadvertent win.
(01:40):
So now, as the story continues,I'm going to call this the ban
at Briarcrest.
How four morons that's not niceimbeciles, idiots.
How four stooges got bannedfrom the nicest golf club in the
state in under four hoursImpressive.
(02:00):
Well, they won this golftournament and they found
themselves the unexpecteddarlings of the local golf scene
.
Their tiktok had gone viral.
Their story was in a small golfmagazine under human interest
slash, mild accidents.
And then it happened aninvitation to briarcrest country
(02:23):
club.
The email was crisp, formal andway too fancy to be addressed
to men who have lost theirdriver in the pond twice in the
same round.
The email read We'd be honoredto host you for a complimentary
round at our private club.
Dress code strictly enforced,please refrain from outside food
(02:43):
, beverages or wildlife anecdote.
And they were in.
So they arrived at Briarcrestand the disappointment begins.
Not because Briarcrest wasn'tbeautiful, it was the kind of
place that smelled like money,generational wealth, pine, more
(03:05):
money, more generational wealth,pine and more money.
The valet wore white gloves.
The locker room even hadcologne options.
Wow, the bathroom had soothingjazz and towel attendants who
silently judged your posture.
Alan showed up in a tucked-inpolo and slacks very reasonable,
(03:28):
because he's a reasonable man.
Nate wore an untucked Hawaiianprint shirt with flamingos
swinging golf clubs.
Shane wore white pants andimmediately sat in a puddle on
the way in.
Lyndon wore a shirt that saidlet's par-tee, that's
P-A-R-T-E-E and Crocs with golftees jammed into the holes for
(03:52):
traction, he said.
The starter blinked twice andasked gentlemen, are you with
someone?
We're guests, lyndon said,proudly high-fiving a head
sculpture, and off to the firsthole.
Allen hit the fairway.
Of course shane did.
Okay, that's typical.
Nate sliced hard, and of coursenate always slices hard.
And I'm sure deep into thewoods.
(04:12):
And linden took two warm-upswings, then whiffed on the
first attempt, loudly anddramatically.
He said breakfast ball.
The caddy raised an eyebrow.
We don't have that rule here.
We play continental rules,linden said, and the caddy quit
(04:33):
on the spot.
Hole five another goose incident.
Shane, attempting to correctfor his usual fade,
overcorrected and hit a drawthat landed directly next to a
very snooty-looking goose.
Briarwood would only havesnooty-looking goose, don't you
think?
Or is it Briarcrest?
(04:53):
Whatever, it's a snooty golfcourse.
So there is this goose,probably the mayor of the
course's wildlife.
But nonetheless, instead offleeing, the goose waddled
toward them slowly andmenacingly.
Not again, alan muttered,backing away.
(05:13):
Nate stepped forward relax, Itook a seminar on animal energy,
you just have to.
And the goose lunged.
Nate screamed and dove behind abunker.
Linden threw a protein bar as adistraction and Shane of course
tried to reason with it.
Somehow they all ended up inthe sand trap covered in
feathers.
And shame, shame, shamefulness.
(05:35):
The marshal was called Strikeone.
Hole nine brought about drinkingproblems, or at least champagne
problems, as Nate pulled out abottle from his golf bag.
What's that, alan asked.
Victory juice, he said youcan't bring your own drinks,
it's sparkling water, it's fancy.
And he popped it open and itexploded like a Fourth of July
(05:59):
firework, soaking a member'swhite linen pants on the next
teabox.
Strike two, as you wouldimagine, on to hole 13, where
there was a pond and some wetpants and some problems which
seemed to follow them, or theyfind them either way.
Lyndon, chasing a wayward ball,slipped and fell halfway into a
(06:21):
decorative koi pond.
Rather than getting out withdignity, he leaned into it.
It cradled a koi and whisperedI am now one of you.
The head groundskeeper faintedand that was strike three.
But there was one more finalstraw the jousting with golf
(06:43):
carts.
While waiting on the last teebox, nate and Shane found pool
noodles in the staff cart.
Naturally, they began, asanyone would, jousting with them
while driving slowly in circles, giggling like toddlers on
Expresso.
Alan, you're going to get usBoom.
And it happened.
They sideswiped a statue ofBriarcrest founder Colonel
(07:05):
Montgomery Chip Braxton III.
Isn't that sophisticated?
Who was reportedly so wealthy?
He once bought a mountainbecause it blocked the sunset.
The statue lost its bronze golfclub arm.
The GM was already waiting atthe 18th degree with a clipboard
and a look that could curdlemilk, gentlemen.
(07:27):
The GM said we're going to haveto ask you to never, ever come
back, even for brunch.
Shane asked hopefully no.
What about if we're reallyquiet and pretend to be ghosts?
Nate added Still no.
Alan just nodded.
Honestly, I'm shocked it tookthis long.
(07:48):
Though banned from Briarcrest,the boys wore it as a badge of
honor.
They had hats made that saidbanned but brilliant, and
started a YouTube seriesentitled Golfing, where we're
Not Wanted.
Linden kept a framed photo ofthe koi.
Nate still claims the goosesaluted him as he ran.
Allen submitted an apologyletter with footnotes.
Shane printed off theiroriginal banned letter on a
(08:11):
t-shirt and they all agreed Nextweek mini-call, because how
much trouble could they possiblyget into?
And they all agreed Next weekmini-call, because how much
trouble could they possibly getinto at a place with windmills?
The story will continue.
This is Lyndon Wolfe and myaudio memoir.
Here for the Memories.
I'm glad you joined and I wouldalso be glad if you had
(08:35):
memories like these, sillymemories, memories where you
made poor decisions and at onepoint you regretted those
decisions and maybe still do.
But now, with that regret, islaughter as you look back on
your own misadventures.
And now you giggle.
The embarrassment is not whatit was.
(08:55):
And you tell the stories andpeople laugh at you and with you
as you chuckle on the inside,knowing life is funny and life
is made of stories.
God bless.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Hello friends, If you appreciate the content and what
it takes to create and deliverit, please consider a small
contribution.
Just go to buymeacoffeecomslash here for the memories.
That's buymeacoffeecom slashhere for the memories.
Much appreciated Woo.
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