When Dancing Really Became Sin

Through witty commentary and self-deprecating humor, I reflect on the trials of dancing genius thwarted by the conspiracies of lesser talents. Whether it's the "praise hands" fiasco or my journey from coordinated mess to supposed artistic greatness, the episode offers more than just laughs. It's a celebration of personal growth, the joy of artistic expression, and the occasional cultural clash. Tune in for a delightful mix of storytelling, laughter, and unexpected introspection that promises to entertain and provoke thought in equal measure.

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Here For the Memories

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Here for the memories thought-provoking audio memoir
shorts filled with stories,humor, anecdotes and commentary
on social, cultural, businessand religious issues.
Whatever Lyndon remembers andthinks will entertain, challenge
and inform is a possiblesubject.

(00:20):
The collection of memoriesabout one's life allows for the
development and refinement of asense of self, including who one
is, how one has changed andwhat one might be like in the
future.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Greetings and salutations.
This is Lyndon Wolfe and youhave found, luckily so, my audio
memoir called Hear for theMemories.
So glad you joined.
We hope that you enjoy what youhear.
You find it refreshing, honestand maybe a little humorous as
well.
Today we're going to talk aboutone of my favorite subjects

(00:59):
dancing.
My dancing skills recently havecome into question again,
maliciously maligned, which isfar worse than just being
maligned.
I volunteered Okay, I wascoerced by Rebecca, under the
threat of bodily harm, tocontribute to a recent surprise
dance mob.

(01:19):
Okay, it was about ten dancerswith an audience of a similar
size, and it transpired in theliving area of an aunt who
annually hosts a Christmas Eve,family Christmas.
The operational song was MariahCarey's All I Want for
Christmas is you.
So I got off on the wrong foot,literally and figuratively,
because I think her singingsounds like a mosquito that just

(01:41):
got sucked into a vacuumcleaner with all those runs and
trills.
Anyway, that was the song.
Although my dancing is oftendescribed as seizure-like, I
always explained that I waslimited in practicing my craft
due to being raised in a housewhere dancing was considered

(02:02):
seriously sinful.
Samuel tells me that dancingwas never considered a sin until
mine was observed andimmediately more conservative
people wanted it prohibited.
But this is mere pretense andjealousy.
My brilliance, like many greatartists, will not be appreciated

(02:24):
until after I go to that greatdisco in the sky.
This evening was evidence, ifnot proof, of that conspiracy to
conceal my greatness throughblatant gaslighting.
I was asked to come in alone asthe last wave for the big
finish.
Save the best for last is notjust a cliche, it is a way to

(02:45):
put the exclamation point on agreat performance.
They kept my choreographedmoves to a minimum, as opposed
to showing up the rest of theensemble or even exposing to the
astute audience my genius.
Some have compared me to FredAstaire, others Mikhail
Baryshnikov and Michael Jackson,or even acrobatic street

(03:09):
dancers.
Some have even suggested that Ican dance with the techniques
of each of these and, in anotherworldly thought, I can do
so simultaneously.
Anyway, as I glided in, I wasconfident in my moves.
They called them praise hands,which I think was a
not-so-subtle attempt to dredgeup the toxicity and legalism of

(03:32):
my religious upbringing'sposition on dancing Pure evil.
I thought there's a specialplace in beginner's dance class
for people like that.
Praise hands was the thrustingof your hands up over your head
twice.
Our rendition had praise handsto the right side and then to
the left.
The complex move was repeatedrepeatedly.

(03:55):
Let me say that again.
The complex move was repeatedrepeatedly.
I guess it was repeatedUndeterred by their treacherous
trickeration.
I redoubled my focus and foundmyself in that sweet zone of
unconscious perfection.
But then my experience kickedin.
Once engaged in thechoreographed chaos, I quickly

(04:19):
noticed that when I was goingone direction, my rookie and
candidly incompetentcollaborators were going the
other.
When my praise hands went tothe right, theirs went to the
left or they didn't go up at all.
We were asynchronistic.
That's an erudite dance termfor being out of sync.
I was aghast at the ineptitude Iwas participating in.

(04:41):
My detractors would laterhurtfully say that I was messing
up and didn't know what I wasdoing, when in fact all of them
were wrong Simultaneously and ingreat rhythm.
They seemed to be achievingsomething special, but they
weren't.
The embarrassing truth was thatI alone was doing the correct
dance at the correct pace, butbrilliance can often make you

(05:04):
awkwardly stand out.
So I was familiar with thediscomfort I had come to expect.
Please know that what I sayhere is not meant to lack
humility the genius of mydancing is clear to all, but my
benevolence and sacrificialnature are even grander.
You see, as I was about to playout the big finish, they had

(05:26):
asked me for.
My heart hurt for them.
Whereas typically I would havecalled out their lack of talent
and physically distanced myselffrom the ensemble, this time I
just couldn't bring myself to doit.
I was overcome with the thoughtthat they were trying their
best, giving it their all,despite their grotesquely severe
limitations, despite the shameand ill repute they had thrust

(05:50):
on the field of dance and thoselike me who had made it
gloriously extraordinary.
I chose not to tear them downor build myself up.
So I said nothing, nothing atall.
So I said nothing, nothing atall.
I bowed in concert with myfellow dancers, exited the
building and drove away into thenight, knowing for the first

(06:12):
time why people would calldancing a sin.
I'm Lyndon Wolfe.
This is my audio memoir.
Here are the memories I hopeyou enjoyed.
Do you like dancing?
Do you dance well?
Do you admire great dancers?
I actually do, even thoughclearly I'm not a great dancer.

(06:33):
I admire the athleticism, thegrace, the beautiful moves, the
strength, the nimbleness.
There's so much beautiful indance.
I'm reminded that enjoy.
King David of Israel danced inthe streets in celebration.

(06:53):
I pray that you, today or soon,can dance in celebration.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
God bless for the memories Much appreciated.