September 15, 2025 • 36 mins
Tabitha leads us through five powerful grounding exercises designed to help us slow down, reset our nervous systems, and find moments of peace during difficult times.
- The 5-4-3-2-1 exercise engages all five senses to bring our awareness back to the present moment
- Creating a detailed mental "peaceful place" where we can retreat when overwhelmed helps our bodies experience rest
- Visualizing a light waterfall washing over our body can help release tension and create a protective shield against stress
- Using mantras like "It's okay to have big emotions" helps normalize our feelings without judgment
- Breath prayers combine scripture with mindful breathing to center both mind and spirit
- A systematic body scan helps identify areas of tension without judgment
- These exercises are invitational—choose what works for you and practice at your own pace
- "Intentional unproductivity" through brief rest periods actually makes us more productive
If you found these grounding exercises helpful, please share this episode with someone who might need it, and rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts or your preferred platform to help others find this resource.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Have you ever had an incredibly hard week or hard day
and thought I just need aminute to breathe?
I just need a minute to figurethings out, to just step away
from the day?
Well, on this week's episode ofhey Tabby, that is exactly what
we are going to do.
Welcome to hey Tabby, thepodcast where we talk about the
(00:25):
hard things out loud, with ouractual lips.
We'll cover all kinds of topicsacross the mental health
spectrum, including how itintersects with the Christian
faith.
Nothing is off limits here andwe are not.
Take two verses and call me inthe morning.
I'm Tabitha Westbrook and I'm alicensed trauma therapist, but
I'm not your trauma therapist.
I'm an expert in domestic abuseand coercive control and how
(00:47):
complex trauma impacts ourhealth and well-being.
Our focus here is knowledge andhealing.
Trauma doesn't have to eat yourlunch forever.
There is hope.
Now let's get going.
Welcome to this week's episodeof hey Tabby.
I am your host, tabithaWestbrook, and I am going to
(01:07):
slow us down this week a littlebit.
The week that I'm recording thishas been a really hard week for
many people.
The news has been quite newsy.
I know a lot of people arefeeling like this particular
year is just incredibly hard,and it is For a lot of people.
This is a really hard year.
It's been incredibly difficult.
So today, what I'm going toinvite you to do is to take a
(01:30):
few minutes with me and just dosome grounding exercises.
What a grounding exercise is isan exercise that helps you slow
down your physiology, it helpsyou sit with big emotions when
you need to, and it gives youjust a few minutes of respite in
a day that might have a lot ofreally difficult things and
(01:51):
really hard moments.
This is something that I do inthe Call to Peace Ministries
faith-based advocacy group often, and we do lots of grounding
breaks because the material isso heavy and hard.
And we do lots of groundingbreaks because the material is
so heavy and hard, and today Iwanted to share those kinds of
things with our hey Tabbyaudience.
I'm going to lead you through afew of the ones that I often
(02:14):
use with folks and hopefully youwill practice them with me as
we do them.
So this podcast is going to be alittle bit different than most
of them.
Instead of giving you a ton ofinformation, we're actually
going to do some experiences.
So, if you like to listen tohey Tabby, while you drive.
Thank you for that.
First of all, and secondly, Iwould invite you to do the ones
(02:37):
you can do safely in a vehicle,and I would invite you to come
back to this and do some of themin a safe place where you're
not operating a motor vehicle,or maybe when you're not at work
, depending on when you tend tolisten.
So some of these might be superfamiliar as well and you've
probably done them before andyou're going to say, yeah, why
(02:58):
are we doing these again?
But believe me, even if you'vedone them before and you know
them well, this is just anotheropportunity to give yourself
time.
Give yourself time to get backinto your body and to feel a
little bit.
So the first one that we aregoing to do is called 5, 4, 3, 2
, 1.
(03:18):
And, for those of you who knowit, you are already aware, but
we're going to engage all fiveof our senses and I'm going to
tell you how.
So I want you to get, if you'reokay with this, in a
comfortable position Now.
You'll notice also that Ialways invite you.
You don't have to do this Ifyou're like nope, that one
doesn't work for me, I don'tlike this one, don't do it.
(03:40):
So I'm going to invite you toget into a comfortable position,
wherever you're at If you arekind of pretzeled up or have
body parts crossed, if you'reable to uncross them and I want
you to take a moment and noticesomething you can see.
It can be anything in your fieldof vision.
(04:00):
Once you notice it, I'd likeyou to say it out loud and now
take a deep breath in throughyour nose and out through your
mouth.
I'd like you to notice anotherthing that you can see.
It can be the same thing, adifferent thing doesn't matter.
I want you to say it out loudand then take a deep breath in
(04:25):
through your nose and outthrough your mouth.
Now we're going to notice athird thing that we can see.
Just say it out loud.
Take a big deep breath inthrough your nose and out
through your mouth, your noseand out through your mouth.
(04:48):
Now we're going to take afourth thing that you can see.
I want you to say it out loudand then take a big deep breath
in through your nose and outthrough your mouth.
Now we're going to do this onemore time.
Name a fifth thing that you cansee.
(05:08):
Say it out loud, breathe inthrough your nose and out
through your mouth.
Now we're going to turn to thesense of touch.
I want you to find somethingthat you can touch.
So if you're driving your car,hopefully it's your steering
wheel, that would be one thing.
(05:29):
It can be your pant leg, it canbe a stuffed animal, your pet,
anything that's around you thatyou can touch.
So I want you to find one thingto touch.
I want you to touch it.
You should name out loud whatyou're touching, breathe in
through your nose and outthrough your mouth.
(05:51):
I want you to find anotherthing to touch, and it can be
the same or different, it's okay.
I want you to let yourselftouch it.
Name what you are touching andbreathe in through your nose and
out through your mouth, andbreathe in through your nose and
out through your mouth.
We're going to find a thirdthing that we can touch.
(06:13):
We're going to name what we aretouching and you're going to
take a deep breath in throughyour nose and out through your
mouth.
And now we're going to find afourth thing we can touch.
I'm going to name it out loud.
We're going to take a big, deepbreath in through your nose and
(06:39):
out through your mouth.
So now we're going to transitionto sound.
So I want you to notice onething that you can hear.
Name what you are hearing andtake a big deep breath in
through your nose and outthrough your mouth.
I want you to find a secondthing you can hear.
Name what you are hearing, takea big deep breath in through
(07:04):
your nose and out through yourmouth.
Now we're going to take onemore thing we can hear.
Notice what we're hearing, namewhat we're hearing and take a
big deep breath in through yournose and out through your mouth.
(07:27):
Now we're going to notice smell.
Now, if you can't smellanything around you, I'd like
you to think of something thatyou like the smell of.
So either smell what's aroundyou or notice the smell of
something that you love.
So maybe it's cinnamon rolls orbaking cookies or the smell of
a fresh green meadow that's justbeen cut.
I want you to notice that smellor the idea of the smell.
(07:51):
Name that, then breathe inthrough your nose and out
through your mouth.
We're going to do that one moretime Either notice a smell or
think of a smell, name it andtake a big deep breath in
through your nose and outthrough your mouth.
(08:12):
But finally, we're going tothink of one thing that we can
taste right now.
So if you have a beverage withyou or a snack, you can use that
or one thing that you like theright now.
So if you have a beverage withyou or a snack, you can use that
, or one thing that you like thetaste of.
I want you to bring that tomind.
I want you to name it, imaginethat taste, or notice that taste
(08:36):
.
If you're tasting something,and take a big, deep breath in
your nose and out your mouth Inyour nose and out your mouth.
Now I want you to take a momentto just notice your body.
If you had any tension in yourbody when we started, is it
(08:57):
still there?
If it is, has it changed?
And if it's not, where was it?
And notice that it's not therenow.
So just give you a moment tonotice and while you're noticing
, just take normal, gentle, deepbreaths in and out.
And for this next exercise, weare going to imagine a place.
(09:18):
Now you can do this with youreyes open or closed, whatever is
comfortable to you.
If you're driving, please don'tlet them be closed.
That would be uncomfortable toothers and probably you as well.
But if you're able to closeyour eyes and you want to do
that, you're welcome to.
If not, you can certainly keepyour eyes open.
I want you to bring to mind apeaceful place.
(09:38):
It can be a real place or animaginary place.
I want it to be a place thatdoesn't have any activation for
you other than pleasant feelings.
So if you have a place thatcomes to mind and it brings up
some negative emotion or somehard feelings, then maybe pick a
different place.
I want you to bring this placeto mind and even again, if it's
(10:02):
a made-up place, it could beNarnia or deep space or anywhere
.
It could be a fictional land ina book, or it can be a very
real place that you've been, ora real place you would like to
go but have never been, and Iwant you to bring it to mind as
clear as you can.
Now, for those who don't seepictures in their mind, you can
use descriptions so you candescribe this place for yourself
(10:25):
, if you're not a picture in themind kind of person.
So once you have that fully inmind, I want you to notice that
you're by yourself there.
We're not going to invite anypeople or pets into this,
because we want this for now tojust be your place, a peaceful
place where, when you just needa moment alone, a peaceful place
(10:48):
, where, when you just need amoment alone, you can kind of go
in your mind and I want you toreally bring as many details to
your mind as you can.
What colors do you see?
What sounds do you hear?
What smells might you notice?
(11:08):
What textures are around youthat you might feel?
And take the moment to justreally notice these things
Really.
Bring it to your mind's eye,either through visualization or
description, and just noticewhat you can about this place of
(11:28):
yours.
Notice if your body is still orin motion.
Are you standing, are yousitting, are you swimming, are
you floating?
Notice as much as you can.
Is it light, is it dark, is itwarm, is it it cool, is it just
(11:51):
right, is it humid or less humid?
Notice everything that you cannotice how your body feels in
this peaceful place.
Give it the opportunity toreally feel real in your mind,
as if you are there, and take alook around your peaceful place
(12:13):
and either visualize or describewhat you notice there.
Invite any areas of tension tojust step away, to drain out of
your body and allow you to be inthis peaceful place.
We all have responsibilitiesand things that we have to take
(12:35):
care of, but for just a moment,it is good for our bodies to be
able to just take a little minivacation.
Allow your body to be in thisplace as much as you can Notice
(12:57):
if there are any sounds,textures, anything that you just
want to focus on just an extramoment here, textures, anything
that you just want to focus onjust an extra moment here.
Allow yourself to feel thisrest.
You are allowed to have momentsof rest.
In fact, moments of restactually make us more productive
(13:24):
.
So think of this as intentionalunproductivity.
Really let this place come tomind, bring it forward in your
mind as much as possible.
Try to feel it in the verycells of your body and allow
your body to have a little bitof peace.
Peace and when you're ready,just come back together from
(13:49):
your peaceful place and you cangive it a name if it helps you
remember that this is a place Iwant to go and anytime you feel
overwhelmed or stressed, you cantake a few moments and let
yourself go to this peacefulplace as we come back together.
(14:11):
If you feel a little bit ofenergy and you need to give
yourself a little wiggle, you'rewelcome to do that as well.
So what was that like for you?
What was it like for you tonotice your peaceful place?
What was it like to spend a fewmoments giving yourself some
(14:31):
intentional rest?
You might notice, as we comeback together here, some big
emotions, because maybe youdon't let yourself do that very
often.
Maybe even it felt like youwere breaking a rule and all
that is fine, it's okay, normal,actually.
(14:56):
Now for our next exercise, weare going to imagine light.
So again I invite you to getinto a comfortable spot.
Your eyes can be open or closed.
Again, if you're driving,please keep them open.
Maybe this is a better one forat home if you like them closed.
But I want you to imagine that abright light has begun to form
above your head.
The light can be any color youwant, whatever is peaceful and
(15:20):
comforting to you.
I want you to imagine that thebright light is sort of like a
light waterfall.
It's cascading down over youLike water.
It starts at the top of yourhead and drips its way down over
your whole body.
Notice what temperature youmight feel with this light.
(15:41):
Is it warm, is it cool?
Notice what temperature youmight feel with this light.
Is it warm, is it cool?
Notice what other properties itmight have Maybe it has a sound
or a scent or a texture andjust notice that.
And again, for those who do notsee pictures in their mind, you
can describe this for yourself.
(16:05):
And as you stand in thatwaterfall of light, just allow
yourself to feel any areas oftension just draining out of
your body.
It can drain out in anydirection.
Whatever works best for you.
Give yourself a few moments tojust really notice what that
(16:27):
light is like for you.
And standing in that peacefullight, and continue to notice
whether it has sound or textureor a temperature.
You can also imagine it's alittle bit like a force field or
shield.
It's keeping stress away fromyou.
(16:48):
Just for a few minutes and justnotice that.
No stress, no tension can livein this light at all.
And as you let yourself noticethat, lean into it a little bit,
really open your mind and letyour body just experience the
(17:13):
light in whatever way works foryou.
When you're ready, let's comeback together.
Just give yourself a big, deepbreath, just notice.
(17:38):
Does your body feel anydifferent?
Is it less tense than it was?
Did any emotions come up?
And again, it's okay that asyou're doing some of these
grounding exercises, you mighthave emotions because they might
say, hey, we have anopportunity to say hello, and
sometimes they do, and that'sokay.
You're not doing it wrong andyou're not broken.
(17:59):
So give yourself just a momentto come back together if you
need to give yourself a littlewiggle, and if you're driving,
please be very careful.
I want to make sure everybodystays safe here.
I hope you're enjoying thisepisode of hey Tabby and we will
(18:20):
be right back to it in just aminute.
You know, here on hey Tabby wetalk a lot about the hard stuff
trauma, abuse and the toll thatit takes on your mind, body and
spirit and we want you to knowyou don't have to walk that
alone.
You don't have to walk thatalone.
The journey in the process is atrauma-specialized counseling
(18:42):
center committed to helpingindividuals heal from deep
wounds through clinicallyexcellent biblically-grounded
care, with offices in NorthCarolina and Texas, telehealth
services across five states andbiblical counseling available
globally.
Our team of highly trainedChristian therapists and
certified biblical counselorsintegrate faith and whole person
(19:04):
evidence-based practices toaddress trauma at its root.
We believe that healing ispossible because Jesus still
sets the captives free.
If you're ready to take thatnext step toward peace, visit
wwwthejourneyandtheprocesscom.
(19:26):
Trauma doesn't have to eat yourlunch forever.
There is hope and we are hereto help you find it.
Now let's get back to thisweek's episode.
I'm going to give you what'scalled a mantra and a mantra is
really just a fancy word, sothat we don't have to say as
many words about what this is.
So a mantra is basically just astatement that helps remind you
(19:48):
of something.
So you can call it anaffirmation, a mantra, a
reminder.
It doesn't really matter.
But I was trying to distill itdown to one word because lots of
words are hard to remembersometimes, especially when we're
stressed out.
So this mantra that we're goingto do is we're just going to
(20:09):
think about the phrase.
That's it, just think about it.
So I'm going to say it and youcan say it to yourself, either
inside your head or out loudwith your lips, whatever works.
But the mantra is it is okay tohave big emotions, it is okay to
feel.
So you might be saying well, myemotions aren't always very big
(20:33):
and that's okay, but it is okayto feel.
So you can say it's okay tohave big emotions.
Or you can say it's okay tofeel.
You decide which one fits foryou and you might like none of
them and want to make somethingup yourself, and I say do it.
So, again, I want you to thinkabout is okay to have big
(20:53):
emotions or it is okay to feeland just notice that, notice
what happens in your body.
This might feel restful or itmight feel a little
uncomfortable.
If you're still struggling withlearning to feel, that's okay.
Remember you don't have to doevery single one of these.
You pick the ones that work foryou.
(21:14):
Again, we're just going toremember it's okay to have big
feels or it's okay to feel.
You can say this over and overas many times as you need to,
especially if it's a distressingsort of day.
(21:36):
Sometimes we beat ourselves upwhen we have feelings and so I
want to invite you to not.
It is okay to feel.
You don't have to apologize,right?
The whole point of emotionregulation is to know what to do
with the feelings that we have,so we handle them in adaptive
and healthy ways.
It's okay to feel them.
And I wanted to give you thatreminder because maybe this week
(22:00):
there are a lot of feels foryou, maybe you're feeling like,
well, I shouldn't feel, fill inthe blank, and I will remind you
.
Don't shit on yourself, right,it doesn't help.
And we are made to havefeelings.
It's part of being made in theimage and likeness of God is to
feel.
Likeness of God is to feel.
(22:26):
Now our final exercise is goingto be a breath prayer and it's
just a very simple breath prayer.
So the verse that we're goingto use and you can pick any
verse.
So if you're like I hate thisverse, pick a different one.
All right, I'm just going togive you the example.
We'll do it here together,again, invitational, you don't
have to do it, but then you canpick something else and use that
(22:47):
.
I will commend to you the bookBreath as Prayer, which I will
link in the show notes as well.
But we are going to use thisverse.
You will keep him in perfectpeace, whose mind is fixed on
you because he trusts in you.
You can say she, me, I fixed onyou because he trusts in you.
You can say she, me, I make itpersonal.
So I'm going to make itpersonal and use the word me.
(23:11):
You can use whatever you needto use for you.
So you keep me in perfect peace.
And when we say that, we'regoing to breathe in through our
nose because my mind is fixed onyou and I trust in you, and
we're going to breathe out onthem because my mind is fixed on
you and I trust in you andwe're going to breathe out on
them.
So breathe in you, keep me inperfect peace, because my mind
is fixed on you and I trust inyou.
(23:31):
Okay, it's hard to do and toalso talk while I'm doing this,
so I'm going to invite you tobreathe in you, keep me in
perfect peace, and breathe outbecause I put my to invite you
to breathe in you, keep me inperfect peace and breathe out
because I put my hope in you andtrust in you.
Breathe in you, keep me inperfect peace, breathe out
because my mind is fixed on youand I trust in you.
(23:54):
One more time Breathe in you,keep me in perfect peace,
breathe out because I trust youand my mind is fixed on you.
And yes, I know I switched upwords now and again.
That was purposeful, it was alittle bit of an intentionality.
I wanted to do that because youdon't have to be perfect.
(24:16):
Right.
The breath is prayer is prayeris just a prayer.
We're basing it in scripturebecause we know that has power,
we know it's helpful.
It's often very comforting forpeople, and so it doesn't matter
what order you put it in.
You really can't get this wrong.
So if there is a scripture thatyou really like, then you can
(24:39):
use that.
You can also add some things.
So, for example, jesus weptthat's the whole scripture, the
entire one right there.
But one of the things I add toit in a breath prayer is and he
weeps for me, because it saysthat he cries with us and he
holds our tears in a bottle.
Not in that same passage, it'sin a different passage.
So you can combine passages.
(24:59):
If you've never done that, Iinvite you to do that as well.
But we'll breathe in on Jesuswept and we'll breathe out and
he weeps for me.
Or you can even say he weepswith me.
So maybe I'll do a little bitof each.
Just have to listen.
So we're going to breathe inthrough our nose Jesus wept,
(25:24):
breathe out through our mouthand he weeps with me.
Breathe in Jesus wept.
Breathe out and he weeps for meBreathe in.
Jesus wept and breathe out, andhe weeps for me.
All right, now, if there'sanother scripture that you love,
(25:46):
you can set it to a breathprayer.
You get to make them up.
It's amazing.
You don't have to necessarilyuse scriptures.
You can use thoughts or thingsthat you want to say to God,
like I know you're here with me.
Lord, help me to remember thatyou're here with me.
Lord, help me to remember thatyou're here with me, lord, right
, because sometimes wecompletely forget.
So do what works for you inthat and don't get super rigid.
(26:07):
The goal is to just take alittle bit of space and remind
ourselves of truth, while notbreathing like we have been
running a race.
It helps us slow down ourphysiology.
It helps us slow down ourphysiology.
It helps us rest.
It helps our bodies relax.
So check in with your body now.
This is called a body scan, andwe're going to start at the top
(26:29):
of our head, or you can start atthe bottom of your feet
whatever works for you and workyour way either up or down.
So if you're starting at thetop of your head, you're going
to work your way down, and ifyou start at the bottom of head,
you're going to work your waydown, and if you start at the
bottom of your feet, you'regoing to work your way up and
just notice, notice if there areany areas of rest or any areas
of tension, and we're not goingto judge either one of them,
(26:51):
we're just going to noticewithout judgment.
If you find a tense area, youjust notice.
Oh, that area is tense.
You may invite it to relax abit if you so choose.
So just keep noticing your bodyand scanning each part.
(27:12):
So it's sometimes very helpfulto go systematically.
So if you start at the top ofyour head, then just notice the
top of your head and then noticeyour forehead and then notice
the top of your head.
Then just notice the top ofyour head and then notice your
forehead, and then notice theback of your head and notice the
right side of your head andthen the left side of your head.
Now notice your face.
(27:34):
Notice under your chin.
Notice the back of your neck.
Notice your right shoulder andyour left shoulder.
Notice your back.
Notice your chest.
Notice the bottom part of yourback, your torso.
(27:57):
Notice your back, your torso.
Notice your stomach.
Notice from your elbow down toyour fingertips on the left side
.
Notice your elbow down to yourfingertips on the right side.
Notice the back of your arm onthe right side and the back of
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your arm on the left side.
Notice your right side, fromyour armpit to your waist.
Notice your left side, fromyour armpit to your waist.
Notice your butt.
Notice the tops of your butt.
(28:44):
Notice the tops of your legs.
Notice the top of your rightleg.
Notice the top of your left leg.
Notice the outside of yourright leg.
Notice the outside of your leftleg.
Notice the inside of your rightleg.
Notice the inside of your leftleg.
Notice the inside of your rightleg.
Notice the inside of your leftleg.
Notice your knees.
(29:05):
Notice your right knee.
Notice your left knee.
Notice the back of your rightknee.
Notice the back of your leftknee.
Notice the bottoms of your legs.
So notice the back of your leftknee.
Notice the bottoms of your legs.
So notice the top of your rightleg, from the knee to your
(29:30):
ankle.
Notice the top of your left leg, from your knee to your ankle.
Notice the back of your rightleg, from your knee to your
ankle.
Notice the back of your leftleg, from your knee to your
ankle.
Now let's notice our feet.
Notice the top of your rightfoot all the way from your ankle
to your toes.
Notice the top of your leftfoot all the way from your ankle
(29:53):
to your toes.
Notice the back of your rightfoot from your ankle to your
toes and the bottom of your foot.
Notice your left foot from yourankles to your toes and the
bottom of your foot, and justnotice as you worked your way
through any of these areas.
If you noticed tension or rest.
(30:14):
If there was an area of tension, just be curious about it and
invite yourself to thatcuriosity, without judging it at
all.
I'm going to invite you back toyour breath and we're going to
end with one thing that you cansee.
Have you say it out loudBreathe in through your nose and
(30:38):
out through your mouth.
I want to thank you for joiningme on this week's episode of hey
Tabby.
If you found that any of thesegrounding exercises felt way
less than grounding and you hada little bit of a hard time with
(31:02):
some of them, that's okay.
Practice makes proficient.
We're not here for perfectionat all.
So practice makes proficient.
Keep at it.
If it's something that bringsyou a lot of distress, it might
not be for you right now, andthat's okay too.
There's no right or wrong.
You cannot pass or fail,because this is not a graded
test.
Wrong, you cannot pass or failbecause this is not a graded
(31:23):
test.
But hopefully these few minutestogether practicing some of
these grounding exercises, washelpful for you and gave you
just a little bit of respite.
Perhaps this season isdifficult for you, and hopefully
we can find a little bit ofrest, at least in little pockets
, so that we can keep going.
As always, any resource that Italk about will be listed in the
show notes.
I'm so glad that you're here.
(31:45):
I'm so glad that you listen tohey Tabby.
If you find this podcasthelpful, please tell a friend
and send them the link so thatthey can listen to it, and also
please be sure to rate it onApple Podcasts or wherever you
listen to your podcasts, becauseit really does help people find
it.
Thanks again for listening tohey Tabby and I'll see you again
(32:08):
next time.
Thanks for joining me fortoday's episode of hey Tabby.
If you're looking for aresource that I mentioned in the
show and you want to check outthe show notes, head on over to
tabithawestbrookcom.
Forward slash heytabi.
That's H-E-Y-T-A-B-I and youcan grab it there.
I look forward to seeing younext time.
Have you ever had an incredibly hard week or hard day
and thought I just need aminute to breathe?
I just need a minute to figurethings out, to just step away
from the day?
Well, on this week's episode ofhey Tabby, that is exactly what
we are going to do.
Welcome to hey Tabby, thepodcast where we talk about the
(00:25):
hard things out loud, with ouractual lips.
We'll cover all kinds of topicsacross the mental health
spectrum, including how itintersects with the Christian
faith.
Nothing is off limits here andwe are not.
Take two verses and call me inthe morning.
I'm Tabitha Westbrook and I'm alicensed trauma therapist, but
I'm not your trauma therapist.
I'm an expert in domestic abuseand coercive control and how
(00:47):
complex trauma impacts ourhealth and well-being.
Our focus here is knowledge andhealing.
Trauma doesn't have to eat yourlunch forever.
There is hope.
Now let's get going.
Welcome to this week's episodeof hey Tabby.
I am your host, tabithaWestbrook, and I am going to
(01:07):
slow us down this week a littlebit.
The week that I'm recording thishas been a really hard week for
many people.
The news has been quite newsy.
I know a lot of people arefeeling like this particular
year is just incredibly hard,and it is For a lot of people.
This is a really hard year.
It's been incredibly difficult.
So today, what I'm going toinvite you to do is to take a
(01:30):
few minutes with me and just dosome grounding exercises.
What a grounding exercise is isan exercise that helps you slow
down your physiology, it helpsyou sit with big emotions when
you need to, and it gives youjust a few minutes of respite in
a day that might have a lot ofreally difficult things and
(01:51):
really hard moments.
This is something that I do inthe Call to Peace Ministries
faith-based advocacy group often, and we do lots of grounding
breaks because the material isso heavy and hard.
And we do lots of groundingbreaks because the material is
so heavy and hard, and today Iwanted to share those kinds of
things with our hey Tabbyaudience.
I'm going to lead you through afew of the ones that I often
(02:14):
use with folks and hopefully youwill practice them with me as
we do them.
So this podcast is going to be alittle bit different than most
of them.
Instead of giving you a ton ofinformation, we're actually
going to do some experiences.
So, if you like to listen tohey Tabby, while you drive.
Thank you for that.
First of all, and secondly, Iwould invite you to do the ones
(02:37):
you can do safely in a vehicle,and I would invite you to come
back to this and do some of themin a safe place where you're
not operating a motor vehicle,or maybe when you're not at work
, depending on when you tend tolisten.
So some of these might be superfamiliar as well and you've
probably done them before andyou're going to say, yeah, why
(02:58):
are we doing these again?
But believe me, even if you'vedone them before and you know
them well, this is just anotheropportunity to give yourself
time.
Give yourself time to get backinto your body and to feel a
little bit.
So the first one that we aregoing to do is called 5, 4, 3, 2
, 1.
(03:18):
And, for those of you who knowit, you are already aware, but
we're going to engage all fiveof our senses and I'm going to
tell you how.
So I want you to get, if you'reokay with this, in a
comfortable position Now.
You'll notice also that Ialways invite you.
You don't have to do this Ifyou're like nope, that one
doesn't work for me, I don'tlike this one, don't do it.
(03:40):
So I'm going to invite you toget into a comfortable position,
wherever you're at If you arekind of pretzeled up or have
body parts crossed, if you'reable to uncross them and I want
you to take a moment and noticesomething you can see.
It can be anything in your fieldof vision.
(04:00):
Once you notice it, I'd likeyou to say it out loud and now
take a deep breath in throughyour nose and out through your
mouth.
I'd like you to notice anotherthing that you can see.
It can be the same thing, adifferent thing doesn't matter.
I want you to say it out loudand then take a deep breath in
(04:25):
through your nose and outthrough your mouth.
Now we're going to notice athird thing that we can see.
Just say it out loud.
Take a big deep breath inthrough your nose and out
through your mouth, your noseand out through your mouth.
(04:48):
Now we're going to take afourth thing that you can see.
I want you to say it out loudand then take a big deep breath
in through your nose and outthrough your mouth.
Now we're going to do this onemore time.
Name a fifth thing that you cansee.
(05:08):
Say it out loud, breathe inthrough your nose and out
through your mouth.
Now we're going to turn to thesense of touch.
I want you to find somethingthat you can touch.
So if you're driving your car,hopefully it's your steering
wheel, that would be one thing.
(05:29):
It can be your pant leg, it canbe a stuffed animal, your pet,
anything that's around you thatyou can touch.
So I want you to find one thingto touch.
I want you to touch it.
You should name out loud whatyou're touching, breathe in
through your nose and outthrough your mouth.
(05:51):
I want you to find anotherthing to touch, and it can be
the same or different, it's okay.
I want you to let yourselftouch it.
Name what you are touching andbreathe in through your nose and
out through your mouth, andbreathe in through your nose and
out through your mouth.
We're going to find a thirdthing that we can touch.
(06:13):
We're going to name what we aretouching and you're going to
take a deep breath in throughyour nose and out through your
mouth.
And now we're going to find afourth thing we can touch.
I'm going to name it out loud.
We're going to take a big, deepbreath in through your nose and
(06:39):
out through your mouth.
So now we're going to transitionto sound.
So I want you to notice onething that you can hear.
Name what you are hearing andtake a big deep breath in
through your nose and outthrough your mouth.
I want you to find a secondthing you can hear.
Name what you are hearing, takea big deep breath in through
(07:04):
your nose and out through yourmouth.
Now we're going to take onemore thing we can hear.
Notice what we're hearing, namewhat we're hearing and take a
big deep breath in through yournose and out through your mouth.
(07:27):
Now we're going to notice smell.
Now, if you can't smellanything around you, I'd like
you to think of something thatyou like the smell of.
So either smell what's aroundyou or notice the smell of
something that you love.
So maybe it's cinnamon rolls orbaking cookies or the smell of
a fresh green meadow that's justbeen cut.
I want you to notice that smellor the idea of the smell.
(07:51):
Name that, then breathe inthrough your nose and out
through your mouth.
We're going to do that one moretime Either notice a smell or
think of a smell, name it andtake a big deep breath in
through your nose and outthrough your mouth.
(08:12):
But finally, we're going tothink of one thing that we can
taste right now.
So if you have a beverage withyou or a snack, you can use that
or one thing that you like theright now.
So if you have a beverage withyou or a snack, you can use that
, or one thing that you like thetaste of.
I want you to bring that tomind.
I want you to name it, imaginethat taste, or notice that taste
(08:36):
.
If you're tasting something,and take a big, deep breath in
your nose and out your mouth Inyour nose and out your mouth.
Now I want you to take a momentto just notice your body.
If you had any tension in yourbody when we started, is it
(08:57):
still there?
If it is, has it changed?
And if it's not, where was it?
And notice that it's not therenow.
So just give you a moment tonotice and while you're noticing
, just take normal, gentle, deepbreaths in and out.
And for this next exercise, weare going to imagine a place.
(09:18):
Now you can do this with youreyes open or closed, whatever is
comfortable to you.
If you're driving, please don'tlet them be closed.
That would be uncomfortable toothers and probably you as well.
But if you're able to closeyour eyes and you want to do
that, you're welcome to.
If not, you can certainly keepyour eyes open.
I want you to bring to mind apeaceful place.
(09:38):
It can be a real place or animaginary place.
I want it to be a place thatdoesn't have any activation for
you other than pleasant feelings.
So if you have a place thatcomes to mind and it brings up
some negative emotion or somehard feelings, then maybe pick a
different place.
I want you to bring this placeto mind and even again, if it's
(10:02):
a made-up place, it could beNarnia or deep space or anywhere
.
It could be a fictional land ina book, or it can be a very
real place that you've been, ora real place you would like to
go but have never been, and Iwant you to bring it to mind as
clear as you can.
Now, for those who don't seepictures in their mind, you can
use descriptions so you candescribe this place for yourself
(10:25):
, if you're not a picture in themind kind of person.
So once you have that fully inmind, I want you to notice that
you're by yourself there.
We're not going to invite anypeople or pets into this,
because we want this for now tojust be your place, a peaceful
place where, when you just needa moment alone, a peaceful place
(10:48):
, where, when you just need amoment alone, you can kind of go
in your mind and I want you toreally bring as many details to
your mind as you can.
What colors do you see?
What sounds do you hear?
What smells might you notice?
(11:08):
What textures are around youthat you might feel?
And take the moment to justreally notice these things
Really.
Bring it to your mind's eye,either through visualization or
description, and just noticewhat you can about this place of
(11:28):
yours.
Notice if your body is still orin motion.
Are you standing, are yousitting, are you swimming, are
you floating?
Notice as much as you can.
Is it light, is it dark, is itwarm, is it it cool, is it just
(11:51):
right, is it humid or less humid?
Notice everything that you cannotice how your body feels in
this peaceful place.
Give it the opportunity toreally feel real in your mind,
as if you are there, and take alook around your peaceful place
(12:13):
and either visualize or describewhat you notice there.
Invite any areas of tension tojust step away, to drain out of
your body and allow you to be inthis peaceful place.
We all have responsibilitiesand things that we have to take
(12:35):
care of, but for just a moment,it is good for our bodies to be
able to just take a little minivacation.
Allow your body to be in thisplace as much as you can Notice
(12:57):
if there are any sounds,textures, anything that you just
want to focus on just an extramoment here, textures, anything
that you just want to focus onjust an extra moment here.
Allow yourself to feel thisrest.
You are allowed to have momentsof rest.
In fact, moments of restactually make us more productive
(13:24):
.
So think of this as intentionalunproductivity.
Really let this place come tomind, bring it forward in your
mind as much as possible.
Try to feel it in the verycells of your body and allow
your body to have a little bitof peace.
Peace and when you're ready,just come back together from
(13:49):
your peaceful place and you cangive it a name if it helps you
remember that this is a place Iwant to go and anytime you feel
overwhelmed or stressed, you cantake a few moments and let
yourself go to this peacefulplace as we come back together.
(14:11):
If you feel a little bit ofenergy and you need to give
yourself a little wiggle, you'rewelcome to do that as well.
So what was that like for you?
What was it like for you tonotice your peaceful place?
What was it like to spend a fewmoments giving yourself some
(14:31):
intentional rest?
You might notice, as we comeback together here, some big
emotions, because maybe youdon't let yourself do that very
often.
Maybe even it felt like youwere breaking a rule and all
that is fine, it's okay, normal,actually.
(14:56):
Now for our next exercise, weare going to imagine light.
So again I invite you to getinto a comfortable spot.
Your eyes can be open or closed.
Again, if you're driving,please keep them open.
Maybe this is a better one forat home if you like them closed.
But I want you to imagine that abright light has begun to form
above your head.
The light can be any color youwant, whatever is peaceful and
(15:20):
comforting to you.
I want you to imagine that thebright light is sort of like a
light waterfall.
It's cascading down over youLike water.
It starts at the top of yourhead and drips its way down over
your whole body.
Notice what temperature youmight feel with this light.
(15:41):
Is it warm, is it cool?
Notice what temperature youmight feel with this light.
Is it warm, is it cool?
Notice what other properties itmight have Maybe it has a sound
or a scent or a texture andjust notice that.
And again, for those who do notsee pictures in their mind, you
can describe this for yourself.
(16:05):
And as you stand in thatwaterfall of light, just allow
yourself to feel any areas oftension just draining out of
your body.
It can drain out in anydirection.
Whatever works best for you.
Give yourself a few moments tojust really notice what that
(16:27):
light is like for you.
And standing in that peacefullight, and continue to notice
whether it has sound or textureor a temperature.
You can also imagine it's alittle bit like a force field or
shield.
It's keeping stress away fromyou.
(16:48):
Just for a few minutes and justnotice that.
No stress, no tension can livein this light at all.
And as you let yourself noticethat, lean into it a little bit,
really open your mind and letyour body just experience the
(17:13):
light in whatever way works foryou.
When you're ready, let's comeback together.
Just give yourself a big, deepbreath, just notice.
(17:38):
Does your body feel anydifferent?
Is it less tense than it was?
Did any emotions come up?
And again, it's okay that asyou're doing some of these
grounding exercises, you mighthave emotions because they might
say, hey, we have anopportunity to say hello, and
sometimes they do, and that'sokay.
You're not doing it wrong andyou're not broken.
(17:59):
So give yourself just a momentto come back together if you
need to give yourself a littlewiggle, and if you're driving,
please be very careful.
I want to make sure everybodystays safe here.
I hope you're enjoying thisepisode of hey Tabby and we will
(18:20):
be right back to it in just aminute.
You know, here on hey Tabby wetalk a lot about the hard stuff
trauma, abuse and the toll thatit takes on your mind, body and
spirit and we want you to knowyou don't have to walk that
alone.
You don't have to walk thatalone.
The journey in the process is atrauma-specialized counseling
(18:42):
center committed to helpingindividuals heal from deep
wounds through clinicallyexcellent biblically-grounded
care, with offices in NorthCarolina and Texas, telehealth
services across five states andbiblical counseling available
globally.
Our team of highly trainedChristian therapists and
certified biblical counselorsintegrate faith and whole person
(19:04):
evidence-based practices toaddress trauma at its root.
We believe that healing ispossible because Jesus still
sets the captives free.
If you're ready to take thatnext step toward peace, visit
wwwthejourneyandtheprocesscom.
(19:26):
Trauma doesn't have to eat yourlunch forever.
There is hope and we are hereto help you find it.
Now let's get back to thisweek's episode.
I'm going to give you what'scalled a mantra and a mantra is
really just a fancy word, sothat we don't have to say as
many words about what this is.
So a mantra is basically just astatement that helps remind you
(19:48):
of something.
So you can call it anaffirmation, a mantra, a
reminder.
It doesn't really matter.
But I was trying to distill itdown to one word because lots of
words are hard to remembersometimes, especially when we're
stressed out.
So this mantra that we're goingto do is we're just going to
(20:09):
think about the phrase.
That's it, just think about it.
So I'm going to say it and youcan say it to yourself, either
inside your head or out loudwith your lips, whatever works.
But the mantra is it is okay tohave big emotions, it is okay to
feel.
So you might be saying well, myemotions aren't always very big
(20:33):
and that's okay, but it is okayto feel.
So you can say it's okay tohave big emotions.
Or you can say it's okay tofeel.
You decide which one fits foryou and you might like none of
them and want to make somethingup yourself, and I say do it.
So, again, I want you to thinkabout is okay to have big
(20:53):
emotions or it is okay to feeland just notice that, notice
what happens in your body.
This might feel restful or itmight feel a little
uncomfortable.
If you're still struggling withlearning to feel, that's okay.
Remember you don't have to doevery single one of these.
You pick the ones that work foryou.
(21:14):
Again, we're just going toremember it's okay to have big
feels or it's okay to feel.
You can say this over and overas many times as you need to,
especially if it's a distressingsort of day.
(21:36):
Sometimes we beat ourselves upwhen we have feelings and so I
want to invite you to not.
It is okay to feel.
You don't have to apologize,right?
The whole point of emotionregulation is to know what to do
with the feelings that we have,so we handle them in adaptive
and healthy ways.
It's okay to feel them.
And I wanted to give you thatreminder because maybe this week
(22:00):
there are a lot of feels foryou, maybe you're feeling like,
well, I shouldn't feel, fill inthe blank, and I will remind you
.
Don't shit on yourself, right,it doesn't help.
And we are made to havefeelings.
It's part of being made in theimage and likeness of God is to
feel.
Likeness of God is to feel.
(22:26):
Now our final exercise is goingto be a breath prayer and it's
just a very simple breath prayer.
So the verse that we're goingto use and you can pick any
verse.
So if you're like I hate thisverse, pick a different one.
All right, I'm just going togive you the example.
We'll do it here together,again, invitational, you don't
have to do it, but then you canpick something else and use that
(22:47):
.
I will commend to you the bookBreath as Prayer, which I will
link in the show notes as well.
But we are going to use thisverse.
You will keep him in perfectpeace, whose mind is fixed on
you because he trusts in you.
You can say she, me, I fixed onyou because he trusts in you.
You can say she, me, I make itpersonal.
So I'm going to make itpersonal and use the word me.
(23:11):
You can use whatever you needto use for you.
So you keep me in perfect peace.
And when we say that, we'regoing to breathe in through our
nose because my mind is fixed onyou and I trust in you, and
we're going to breathe out onthem because my mind is fixed on
you and I trust in you andwe're going to breathe out on
them.
So breathe in you, keep me inperfect peace, because my mind
is fixed on you and I trust inyou.
(23:31):
Okay, it's hard to do and toalso talk while I'm doing this,
so I'm going to invite you tobreathe in you, keep me in
perfect peace, and breathe outbecause I put my to invite you
to breathe in you, keep me inperfect peace and breathe out
because I put my hope in you andtrust in you.
Breathe in you, keep me inperfect peace, breathe out
because my mind is fixed on youand I trust in you.
(23:54):
One more time Breathe in you,keep me in perfect peace,
breathe out because I trust youand my mind is fixed on you.
And yes, I know I switched upwords now and again.
That was purposeful, it was alittle bit of an intentionality.
I wanted to do that because youdon't have to be perfect.
(24:16):
Right.
The breath is prayer is prayeris just a prayer.
We're basing it in scripturebecause we know that has power,
we know it's helpful.
It's often very comforting forpeople, and so it doesn't matter
what order you put it in.
You really can't get this wrong.
So if there is a scripture thatyou really like, then you can
(24:39):
use that.
You can also add some things.
So, for example, jesus weptthat's the whole scripture, the
entire one right there.
But one of the things I add toit in a breath prayer is and he
weeps for me, because it saysthat he cries with us and he
holds our tears in a bottle.
Not in that same passage, it'sin a different passage.
So you can combine passages.
(24:59):
If you've never done that, Iinvite you to do that as well.
But we'll breathe in on Jesuswept and we'll breathe out and
he weeps for me.
Or you can even say he weepswith me.
So maybe I'll do a little bitof each.
Just have to listen.
So we're going to breathe inthrough our nose Jesus wept,
(25:24):
breathe out through our mouthand he weeps with me.
Breathe in Jesus wept.
Breathe out and he weeps for meBreathe in.
Jesus wept and breathe out, andhe weeps for me.
All right, now, if there'sanother scripture that you love,
(25:46):
you can set it to a breathprayer.
You get to make them up.
It's amazing.
You don't have to necessarilyuse scriptures.
You can use thoughts or thingsthat you want to say to God,
like I know you're here with me.
Lord, help me to remember thatyou're here with me.
Lord, help me to remember thatyou're here with me, lord, right
, because sometimes wecompletely forget.
So do what works for you inthat and don't get super rigid.
(26:07):
The goal is to just take alittle bit of space and remind
ourselves of truth, while notbreathing like we have been
running a race.
It helps us slow down ourphysiology.
It helps us slow down ourphysiology.
It helps us rest.
It helps our bodies relax.
So check in with your body now.
This is called a body scan, andwe're going to start at the top
(26:29):
of our head, or you can start atthe bottom of your feet
whatever works for you and workyour way either up or down.
So if you're starting at thetop of your head, you're going
to work your way down, and ifyou start at the bottom of head,
you're going to work your waydown, and if you start at the
bottom of your feet, you'regoing to work your way up and
just notice, notice if there areany areas of rest or any areas
of tension, and we're not goingto judge either one of them,
(26:51):
we're just going to noticewithout judgment.
If you find a tense area, youjust notice.
Oh, that area is tense.
You may invite it to relax abit if you so choose.
So just keep noticing your bodyand scanning each part.
(27:12):
So it's sometimes very helpfulto go systematically.
So if you start at the top ofyour head, then just notice the
top of your head and then noticeyour forehead and then notice
the top of your head.
Then just notice the top ofyour head and then notice your
forehead, and then notice theback of your head and notice the
right side of your head andthen the left side of your head.
Now notice your face.
(27:34):
Notice under your chin.
Notice the back of your neck.
Notice your right shoulder andyour left shoulder.
Notice your back.
Notice your chest.
Notice the bottom part of yourback, your torso.
(27:57):
Notice your back, your torso.
Notice your stomach.
Notice from your elbow down toyour fingertips on the left side
.
Notice your elbow down to yourfingertips on the right side.
Notice the back of your arm onthe right side and the back of
(28:21):
your arm on the left side.
Notice your right side, fromyour armpit to your waist.
Notice your left side, fromyour armpit to your waist.
Notice your butt.
Notice the tops of your butt.
(28:44):
Notice the tops of your legs.
Notice the top of your rightleg.
Notice the top of your left leg.
Notice the outside of yourright leg.
Notice the outside of your leftleg.
Notice the inside of your rightleg.
Notice the inside of your leftleg.
Notice the inside of your rightleg.
Notice the inside of your leftleg.
Notice your knees.
(29:05):
Notice your right knee.
Notice your left knee.
Notice the back of your rightknee.
Notice the back of your leftknee.
Notice the bottoms of your legs.
So notice the back of your leftknee.
Notice the bottoms of your legs.
So notice the top of your rightleg, from the knee to your
(29:30):
ankle.
Notice the top of your left leg, from your knee to your ankle.
Notice the back of your rightleg, from your knee to your
ankle.
Notice the back of your leftleg, from your knee to your
ankle.
Now let's notice our feet.
Notice the top of your rightfoot all the way from your ankle
to your toes.
Notice the top of your leftfoot all the way from your ankle
(29:53):
to your toes.
Notice the back of your rightfoot from your ankle to your
toes and the bottom of your foot.
Notice your left foot from yourankles to your toes and the
bottom of your foot, and justnotice as you worked your way
through any of these areas.
If you noticed tension or rest.
(30:14):
If there was an area of tension, just be curious about it and
invite yourself to thatcuriosity, without judging it at
all.
I'm going to invite you back toyour breath and we're going to
end with one thing that you cansee.
Have you say it out loudBreathe in through your nose and
(30:38):
out through your mouth.
I want to thank you for joiningme on this week's episode of hey
Tabby.
If you found that any of thesegrounding exercises felt way
less than grounding and you hada little bit of a hard time with
(31:02):
some of them, that's okay.
Practice makes proficient.
We're not here for perfectionat all.
So practice makes proficient.
Keep at it.
If it's something that bringsyou a lot of distress, it might
not be for you right now, andthat's okay too.
There's no right or wrong.
You cannot pass or fail,because this is not a graded
test.
Wrong, you cannot pass or failbecause this is not a graded
(31:23):
test.
But hopefully these few minutestogether practicing some of
these grounding exercises, washelpful for you and gave you
just a little bit of respite.
Perhaps this season isdifficult for you, and hopefully
we can find a little bit ofrest, at least in little pockets
, so that we can keep going.
As always, any resource that Italk about will be listed in the
show notes.
I'm so glad that you're here.
(31:45):
I'm so glad that you listen tohey Tabby.
If you find this podcasthelpful, please tell a friend
and send them the link so thatthey can listen to it, and also
please be sure to rate it onApple Podcasts or wherever you
listen to your podcasts, becauseit really does help people find
it.
Thanks again for listening tohey Tabby and I'll see you again
(32:08):
next time.
Thanks for joining me fortoday's episode of hey Tabby.
If you're looking for aresource that I mentioned in the
show and you want to check outthe show notes, head on over to
tabithawestbrookcom.
Forward slash heytabi.
That's H-E-Y-T-A-B-I and youcan grab it there.
I look forward to seeing younext time.
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