April 21, 2025 • 19 mins
In the beginning was the Word. Jesus spoke everything into existence. We know when we've been traumatized the words spoken over us are curses. Those curses often replay like a horrific record. Today we’re breaking chains and speaking life.
Healing from trauma requires breaking the chains of harmful words spoken over us and replacing them with life-giving truth that restores our sense of dignity, worth, and value.
- Speaking life over ourselves counteracts the curses and negative messages that trauma imprints on us
- God never aligns with abusive structures, systems, or individuals
- Spiritual abuse distorts God's voice and weaponizes faith against victims
- Boundaries are not rebellion—even Jesus established healthy boundaries
- Our identity is not defined by what happened to us or the coping skills we used
- Healing isn't linear but resembles a bowl of spaghetti with ups and downs
- Joy is possible even after trauma
- We can move beyond the labels of "victim" or "survivor" to become an "overcomer"
- Creating personal reminders of truth can help rewire our brains from those distorted thought patterns
I encourage you to write your own life-speaking truths that address your specific situation. Keep them in a notebook or on index cards and review them regularly, especially when negative thoughts are screaming at you.
If you're willing, share your affirmations in the comments on the YouTube video or head over to my Instagram @tabithathecounselor and share them there!
🎧 Subscribe to Hey Tabi for more expert conversations on trauma, faith, and healing.
📩 Connect with Tabitha:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com
💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
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🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tabitha Westbrook (00:00):
In the beginning was the Word.
Jesus spoke everything intoexistence.
We know that when we've beentraumatized, the words spoken
over us are curses.
Those curses often replay inour heads like a horrific record
.
Today we're breaking chain andspeaking life.
Welcome to hey Tabby, thepodcast where we talk about the
hard things out loud, with ouractual lips.
(00:22):
We'll cover all kinds of topicsacross the mental health
spectrum, including how itintersects with the Christian
faith.
Nothing is off limits here andwe are not.
Take two verses and call me inthe morning.
I'm Tabitha Westbrook and I'm alicensed trauma therapist, but
I'm not your trauma therapist.
I'm an expert in domestic abuseand coercive control and how
complex trauma impacts ourhealth and well-being.
(00:43):
Our focus here is knowledge andhealing.
Trauma doesn't have to eat yourlunch forever.
There is hope.
Now let's get going.
Welcome to this week's episodeof hey Tabby.
I am so glad that you are herethis week.
I am really excited about thisparticular topic.
This is something that is nearand dear to my heart and
(01:05):
hopefully will be helpful to you.
One of the things that I oftenhear with survivors is just the
words that play over and overand over in their heads, and
they're usually not very kind.
I know that is also my ownstory.
If you've read Body and Soul,healed and Whole the book that I
wrote, you know there is anentire chapter devoted to curses
(01:26):
and vows and what those are andhow to break them.
A lot of times, what is spokenover us is wickedness, and we
end up drinking it in because wedon't have another choice.
We have to do it to survive.
But even if we're out of theabusive situation, then we tend
to still walk in those ways asif they are true, and so today I
(01:46):
want to invite us to dosomething different.
Sometimes it is really powerfulwhen someone speaks life over
us.
So that is what I'm going to dotoday for this particular
episode.
We are just going to speak life, and that is the entire thing
that we're going to do.
I invite you to just getyourself in a comfortable space.
If you're driving, don't gettoo comfortable.
(02:08):
I want you to be safe, butmaybe this podcast is a little
bit better for you to listen towhen you're able to get a little
more comfortable.
If you're in a safe place andnot operating machinery, I want
to invite you to get comfortable.
De-pretzel yourself if you'reable to.
So if any body parts arecrossed, you can uncross them.
(02:29):
Your feet can be on the flooror you can be laying down, you
can be sitting comfortablywhatever works for you.
I want you to just be able tosoak this in and let this watch
over you.
Sometimes it is helpful to me todo a little bit of a somatic
hold when I'm doing things likethis or getting prepared for
(02:49):
things like this, and one ofthose holds is a hand over your
heart, like kind of in themiddle of your chest, and one
hand on your belly.
Now, if you're listening tothis audio, you can't see me,
but if you are watching it onour YouTube channel, you can see
that I have a hand on my heart.
You can't see my belly.
I'm not far enough away.
Let's give you an opportunityhere to take a couple of breaths
(03:11):
.
We are going to breathe inthrough our nose and out through
our mouth, and I'm going to doit kind of loud so you can hear
it.
Another one and one more breathnow as we go into this practice
(03:44):
and into the listening.
Just know that this is apeaceful place.
If it helps you to imagine apeaceful place, a place of your
choosing, it can be anywhere,real or imagined, and that is
something that you are more thanwelcome to as well.
These are written with both ourtrauma but also our faith in
mind.
Some are scriptural, some arejust truth, and you can take
(04:07):
what you need and leave or rest.
These, you'll notice, will goin themes, and we are going to
start with spiritual abuse.
First of all, god never alignedwith an abusive structure,
system or person.
God is not a God of oppressionand he was not okay with what
happens to you.
(04:28):
Spiritual abuse, whether it isthrough a system or an
individual, is something thatdistorts the voice of God, and
that is definitely not God.
Spiritual abuse, as I define it, is taking someone's good and
right devotion to God andweaponizing it against them, and
we are going to break thosecurses and vows now.
(04:53):
God's voice doesn't shame me.
In fact, he speaks peace overme.
I am allowed to ask questions.
God welcomes my doubt, myconfusion, just like he did with
Job, just like he did withDavid, just like he did with
countless other people inScripture.
Being obedient to God nevermeans being obedient to abuse.
(05:19):
We are never asked to bow totyranny.
Spiritual leaders are not God.
They are human, even reallycharismatic ones.
They're not God.
Only God is God and humans.
We can be wrong, and if they'rewrong I can walk away.
I know that some of the fruitof the Spirit is love, joy and
(05:43):
peace and gentleness andgoodness and kindness.
The fruit of the Spirit is notfear or coercion.
I belong to a God who sees andhe knows and he rescues.
Even if I can't see the rescueright now, he's still doing
those things.
Just like with Easter, sundayis coming.
(06:05):
God is a refuge.
He's not a trap.
Oftentimes, abusive individualsspeak over us All kinds of
things about our identity, andusually none of them are true,
and I'm going to speak over somedifferent alternatives for you.
I'm not what happened to me.
(06:27):
I am a child of a living God.
I'm not any mistakes I've madein these processes, not any
mistakes I've made or behaviorsdue to trauma.
All those things are forgivenand some of them might even be
understandable based on thethings I've been through.
(06:49):
And God sees things that way.
He doesn't see me withdispleasure.
My voice and thoughts matter tothe Lord.
He deeply cares.
He actually calls me poetry.
In Ephesians he says we are hisworkmanship, we are his art
piece, even if we don't feelvery in the moment.
I'm made in the image andlikeness of God and absolutely
(07:13):
nobody can tell me differentlyon that.
That means that I have dignity,worth and value.
It means that I have dignity,worth and value.
It means that my opinions, mythoughts, my feelings all matter
.
I'm worthy of love because Godsays I'm worthy of love.
I don't have to do anything tosecure my value or to be lovable
, and that would be works.
(07:35):
And we know that God saves us bygrace, not through works.
God is near to thebrokenhearted and he saves the
crushed in spirit.
God also desires that we haveboundaries.
We do not have to just takewhatever, and even if we're in
(07:56):
ministry, we don't have to pourourselves out to the last drop.
God never asked us to sacrificeourselves on the altar of
ministry.
He has never once asked us that.
In fact, he created the Sabbathfor us.
Sabbath is made for man, notman for the Sabbath, and that is
because he knows that we needrest, and so our no is a
(08:16):
complete sentence.
I can say no to anything at anytime if I need to.
My body is mine.
My no is sacred.
My yes was not at the altar.
My yes was not when Ivolunteered for church.
My yes was not when I became astaff member.
I don't have to earn safety.
(08:41):
God calls himself a refuge again, because he knows we need
safety.
He knows what we're made of.
He is my refuge and strengthand my help in times of trouble.
I look to the hills.
Where does my help come from?
It comes from you, the maker ofheaven and earth, and that's
not just true for other people,that is true for you.
(09:02):
It might not feel true all thetime, especially when things are
very, very hard, but it is.
Sometimes things don't feeltrue that are still true.
Boundaries are not rebellion.
Jesus had boundaries.
Jesus went away to rest attimes.
(09:22):
His disciples at least onceasked him like bro, where did
you go?
He's like I want to rest.
He went and had a boundary.
Not every disciple went withhim everywhere either.
He chose who he went with.
That means that we don't haveto say yes to going anywhere
anyone asked us.
(09:42):
We can actually use discernmentAlso.
Healing is possible, and that'sour next theme.
Healing is not linear.
I wish it was, but it oftenlooks like a bowl of spaghetti
where everything is going up anddown and over, but eventually
you do get there and you arestill moving forward.
(10:02):
The journey of a thousand milesbegins with a single step.
What was stolen from me, godcould restore, and it may not be
restored perfectly or exactlythe way that we want it, but he
does bring beauty from ashes, hedoes bring healing and hope.
In those ways, joy is notimpossible and I don't need to
(10:26):
hedge my bets if I feel it.
There is this concept calledforeboding joy, where it's like
I'll feel it a little bit, butI'm waiting for that other shoe
to drop.
That is part of the abusestructure that we felt when we
were in those places and beingabused and tortured.
Essentially, we didn't thinkthat joy was sustainable.
(10:50):
We didn't think that joy wasjust enough alone, that
something else was going tohappen.
And look, I will level with you.
Life is lifey.
It gets really hard, but wecan't just hedge our bets and
hold it gently.
We can fully feel joy, even ifsomething hard happens afterward
.
I might feel broken, but I ambeing made whole.
(11:11):
The scripture says that we arebeing changed day by day to be
like Jesus and he is whole andwe are being moved toward him
every single day.
Again, it may not feel like it.
It may feel so hard and sodifficult and you're like, oh my
gosh, I'm listening to you saythis and none of this feels true
, and I hear you.
I hear you, but these thingsare true.
(11:33):
Nonetheless, they are true.
You are also not powerless.
First of all, the spirit thatraised Christ from the dead
lives in you.
That is some serious power,because the last time I checked,
getting up from the dead is alittle something, so that's
pretty intense, and that powerlives in you.
You also have survived all thethings that have happened.
(11:57):
Right now, to the best of myknowledge, I don't have any
apparitions or ghosts thatlisten to this podcast.
If you are one, feel free tosend me a note because that
would be interesting.
But I don't think you are, andyou've made it this far, and I
know that it hasn't been easy.
In fact, it's been a roadfilled with potholes and valleys
, and blood, sweat and tears ina million different ways.
(12:20):
But you are still here.
You have not crumbled.
You may feel fragile, but youaren't actually fragile.
You can walk with dignity, nomatter what happened or is
happening to you.
You still can walk with dignitybecause you're a person made in
(12:40):
the image and likeness ofChrist.
Never forget that God fightsfor you.
I know that again, some days itmay not feel that way at all,
but it is true nonetheless.
Also, you're not crazy.
I know that sometimes if you'rein difficult situations you can
feel pretty crazy, but you'renot crazy.
(13:00):
You're actually probably prettysane, or at least as sane as
the rest of us, and you areloved.
You are so loved.
You're not invisible to God.
He knows the hairs on your head.
He is not rock concert Jesus.
You're not invisible to God.
He knows the hairs on your head.
He is not rock concert Jesus.
He's just looking out throughthis crowd of people going yeah,
thank you, good night, anddoesn't know you from a hill of
(13:22):
tacos.
He knows you, he knowseverything about you and he
loves you and he likes you.
I know a lot of us can be like,oh yeah, he loves me, he's God,
he has to do that.
But we don't think he likes usand he does.
He likes us.
Jesus always stood with thehurting.
(13:45):
He never chastised someone whowas struggling and we also know
that the Lord is our shepherdand we shall lack nothing.
I know some of you are out therethinking I am lacking a lot and
I can't explain the truth of itwhen you're struggling in other
areas, but I can promise youthat it is true and he is with
you.
You belong to him and you'vebeen sealed for the day of
(14:11):
redemption.
No one can take that seal awayfrom you.
I know that for some listeningto this, even some of these
words have been really difficultto reconcile, to feel, to even
know what you're going to dowith right, because the word of
God and the concept of God hasbeen just so stinking, distorted
(14:34):
.
I really, really hate that.
I hate that so much for you.
I hate that that's been yourstory and I hate that that's
been your experience.
I want to take a moment now tojust read something over you
that I wrote.
I wrote it while I was talkingwith a survivor and I wrote it
(14:57):
for this individual, but it istrue for all of us, so I am
actually going to read it hereas well.
The name of this poem is IDidn't Ask.
None of us asked to bear thelabel victim.
It was thrust upon us bysomeone who chose to use us, to
(15:18):
torture us, to consume us.
None of us asked to bear thelabel survivor.
It was wrapped around us as wefled for our lives, trying to
breathe, as we bled, trying tofind which way is up, trying to
find the girl we lost.
This can also be the guy welost.
I am taking the label overcomer.
(15:41):
I chose this one.
I am rising from the ashes inbeauty and strength, an entirely
new girl, far more lovely thanI dared ever think.
I hope that you let those wordsjust kind of marinate over you,
(16:01):
whether you're male or female Iknow that it was a little bit
gendered, but I am a girl and Iwas talking with a female
survivor but those words are foryou.
You don't have to stay aseither a victim or a survivor.
You can be an overcomer.
I know that in this momentthose words may feel so
incredibly untrue, but they areincredibly, very true, and I
(16:23):
promise you that, as someone whostands on the other side of
some really hard stuff herself,I can attest to the fact that
things are definitely possible,that you never even dreamed A
million things in my life that,when I look back, I'd never be
here.
But here I am, and I mean byhere, I just like straight up,
mean alive, honestly, becausethere are times I did not think
(16:44):
that was going to occur and itdid, and I really want to just
be an encouragement.
If it's helpful to you, if thispodcast has been worth anything
for you, I would encourage youto save this one and just listen
to it when you need to Listento the words and to the truth
that are in it and give yourselfsome goodness.
(17:08):
In fact, I would encourage you.
This is going to be a podcastwith homework.
I know some of you just heardthe word homework and passed out
, but it's not like that.
We're not grading it.
You've already got an A.
It's fine, but I want you towrite some of your own, like I
wrote these.
These are great and hopefullythey resonated, at least on some
(17:29):
level.
Some of them resonated, but ifthey didn't, or if you're like I
need more, I need some morethat are applying to my
situation then I would reallyencourage you to write your own.
Get yourself a little notebookor even a spiral bound index
card set you can get those justabout any office supply store or
probably some sort of onlinepurveyor and write these things
(17:53):
down that you need to rememberand look at them often.
I know that seems a little bitcheesy, and every time I tell a
client to do something like this, they're like rolling their
eyes and telling me like, oh mygosh, ok, but then they do it
and it's actually really helpfulfor them.
In fact, I often will get anemail or a text saying, oh,
you're right, I can't believe it.
(18:14):
It seems so cheesy andridiculous.
And I did it and it was reallyreally helpful, and so I really
just want to encourage you to goand be a little cheesy and
write down the things that youneed to remember.
It is so easy to slide into thatnegative space, especially when
we are so used to it.
We're so used to not thinkingnicely about ourselves.
(18:35):
We're so used to thinkingnegative and hard things, but we
need to look more at the realtruth of things versus always
looking at the negative, and Ireally want to say thank you so
much for joining me on today'sepisode of hey Tabby.
I really hope that it has beena helpful one.
Would love to hear from you, sodrop me some information down
(18:59):
in the comments or shoot me anemail or follow me on instagram
at tabitha the counselor.
If you haven't already picked itup, I encourage you to pick up
body and soul healed and whole.
An invitational guide tohealthy sexuality after trauma,
abuse and coercive control linkis in the show notes and you can
get it at any bookselleranywhere.
Wherever you buy your book, youcan get this book.
(19:21):
I look forward to seeing youguys here again on our next
episode of hey Tabby.
Thanks for joining me fortoday's episode of hey Tabby.
If you're looking for aresource that I mentioned in the
show and you want to check outthe show notes, head on over to
tabithawestbrookcom, forwardslash hey Tabby.
(19:42):
That's H-E-Y-T-A-B-I and youcan grab it there.
I look forward to seeing younext time.
In the beginning was the Word.
Jesus spoke everything intoexistence.
We know that when we've beentraumatized, the words spoken
over us are curses.
Those curses often replay inour heads like a horrific record
.
Today we're breaking chain andspeaking life.
Welcome to hey Tabby, thepodcast where we talk about the
hard things out loud, with ouractual lips.
(00:22):
We'll cover all kinds of topicsacross the mental health
spectrum, including how itintersects with the Christian
faith.
Nothing is off limits here andwe are not.
Take two verses and call me inthe morning.
I'm Tabitha Westbrook and I'm alicensed trauma therapist, but
I'm not your trauma therapist.
I'm an expert in domestic abuseand coercive control and how
complex trauma impacts ourhealth and well-being.
(00:43):
Our focus here is knowledge andhealing.
Trauma doesn't have to eat yourlunch forever.
There is hope.
Now let's get going.
Welcome to this week's episodeof hey Tabby.
I am so glad that you are herethis week.
I am really excited about thisparticular topic.
This is something that is nearand dear to my heart and
(01:05):
hopefully will be helpful to you.
One of the things that I oftenhear with survivors is just the
words that play over and overand over in their heads, and
they're usually not very kind.
I know that is also my ownstory.
If you've read Body and Soul,healed and Whole the book that I
wrote, you know there is anentire chapter devoted to curses
(01:26):
and vows and what those are andhow to break them.
A lot of times, what is spokenover us is wickedness, and we
end up drinking it in because wedon't have another choice.
We have to do it to survive.
But even if we're out of theabusive situation, then we tend
to still walk in those ways asif they are true, and so today I
(01:46):
want to invite us to dosomething different.
Sometimes it is really powerfulwhen someone speaks life over
us.
So that is what I'm going to dotoday for this particular
episode.
We are just going to speak life, and that is the entire thing
that we're going to do.
I invite you to just getyourself in a comfortable space.
If you're driving, don't gettoo comfortable.
(02:08):
I want you to be safe, butmaybe this podcast is a little
bit better for you to listen towhen you're able to get a little
more comfortable.
If you're in a safe place andnot operating machinery, I want
to invite you to get comfortable.
De-pretzel yourself if you'reable to.
So if any body parts arecrossed, you can uncross them.
(02:29):
Your feet can be on the flooror you can be laying down, you
can be sitting comfortablywhatever works for you.
I want you to just be able tosoak this in and let this watch
over you.
Sometimes it is helpful to me todo a little bit of a somatic
hold when I'm doing things likethis or getting prepared for
(02:49):
things like this, and one ofthose holds is a hand over your
heart, like kind of in themiddle of your chest, and one
hand on your belly.
Now, if you're listening tothis audio, you can't see me,
but if you are watching it onour YouTube channel, you can see
that I have a hand on my heart.
You can't see my belly.
I'm not far enough away.
Let's give you an opportunityhere to take a couple of breaths
(03:11):
.
We are going to breathe inthrough our nose and out through
our mouth, and I'm going to doit kind of loud so you can hear
it.
Another one and one more breathnow as we go into this practice
(03:44):
and into the listening.
Just know that this is apeaceful place.
If it helps you to imagine apeaceful place, a place of your
choosing, it can be anywhere,real or imagined, and that is
something that you are more thanwelcome to as well.
These are written with both ourtrauma but also our faith in
mind.
Some are scriptural, some arejust truth, and you can take
(04:07):
what you need and leave or rest.
These, you'll notice, will goin themes, and we are going to
start with spiritual abuse.
First of all, god never alignedwith an abusive structure,
system or person.
God is not a God of oppressionand he was not okay with what
happens to you.
(04:28):
Spiritual abuse, whether it isthrough a system or an
individual, is something thatdistorts the voice of God, and
that is definitely not God.
Spiritual abuse, as I define it, is taking someone's good and
right devotion to God andweaponizing it against them, and
we are going to break thosecurses and vows now.
(04:53):
God's voice doesn't shame me.
In fact, he speaks peace overme.
I am allowed to ask questions.
God welcomes my doubt, myconfusion, just like he did with
Job, just like he did withDavid, just like he did with
countless other people inScripture.
Being obedient to God nevermeans being obedient to abuse.
(05:19):
We are never asked to bow totyranny.
Spiritual leaders are not God.
They are human, even reallycharismatic ones.
They're not God.
Only God is God and humans.
We can be wrong, and if they'rewrong I can walk away.
I know that some of the fruitof the Spirit is love, joy and
(05:43):
peace and gentleness andgoodness and kindness.
The fruit of the Spirit is notfear or coercion.
I belong to a God who sees andhe knows and he rescues.
Even if I can't see the rescueright now, he's still doing
those things.
Just like with Easter, sundayis coming.
(06:05):
God is a refuge.
He's not a trap.
Oftentimes, abusive individualsspeak over us All kinds of
things about our identity, andusually none of them are true,
and I'm going to speak over somedifferent alternatives for you.
I'm not what happened to me.
(06:27):
I am a child of a living God.
I'm not any mistakes I've madein these processes, not any
mistakes I've made or behaviorsdue to trauma.
All those things are forgivenand some of them might even be
understandable based on thethings I've been through.
(06:49):
And God sees things that way.
He doesn't see me withdispleasure.
My voice and thoughts matter tothe Lord.
He deeply cares.
He actually calls me poetry.
In Ephesians he says we are hisworkmanship, we are his art
piece, even if we don't feelvery in the moment.
I'm made in the image andlikeness of God and absolutely
(07:13):
nobody can tell me differentlyon that.
That means that I have dignity,worth and value.
It means that I have dignity,worth and value.
It means that my opinions, mythoughts, my feelings all matter
.
I'm worthy of love because Godsays I'm worthy of love.
I don't have to do anything tosecure my value or to be lovable
, and that would be works.
(07:35):
And we know that God saves us bygrace, not through works.
God is near to thebrokenhearted and he saves the
crushed in spirit.
God also desires that we haveboundaries.
We do not have to just takewhatever, and even if we're in
(07:56):
ministry, we don't have to pourourselves out to the last drop.
God never asked us to sacrificeourselves on the altar of
ministry.
He has never once asked us that.
In fact, he created the Sabbathfor us.
Sabbath is made for man, notman for the Sabbath, and that is
because he knows that we needrest, and so our no is a
(08:16):
complete sentence.
I can say no to anything at anytime if I need to.
My body is mine.
My no is sacred.
My yes was not at the altar.
My yes was not when Ivolunteered for church.
My yes was not when I became astaff member.
I don't have to earn safety.
(08:41):
God calls himself a refuge again, because he knows we need
safety.
He knows what we're made of.
He is my refuge and strengthand my help in times of trouble.
I look to the hills.
Where does my help come from?
It comes from you, the maker ofheaven and earth, and that's
not just true for other people,that is true for you.
(09:02):
It might not feel true all thetime, especially when things are
very, very hard, but it is.
Sometimes things don't feeltrue that are still true.
Boundaries are not rebellion.
Jesus had boundaries.
Jesus went away to rest attimes.
(09:22):
His disciples at least onceasked him like bro, where did
you go?
He's like I want to rest.
He went and had a boundary.
Not every disciple went withhim everywhere either.
He chose who he went with.
That means that we don't haveto say yes to going anywhere
anyone asked us.
(09:42):
We can actually use discernmentAlso.
Healing is possible, and that'sour next theme.
Healing is not linear.
I wish it was, but it oftenlooks like a bowl of spaghetti
where everything is going up anddown and over, but eventually
you do get there and you arestill moving forward.
(10:02):
The journey of a thousand milesbegins with a single step.
What was stolen from me, godcould restore, and it may not be
restored perfectly or exactlythe way that we want it, but he
does bring beauty from ashes, hedoes bring healing and hope.
In those ways, joy is notimpossible and I don't need to
(10:26):
hedge my bets if I feel it.
There is this concept calledforeboding joy, where it's like
I'll feel it a little bit, butI'm waiting for that other shoe
to drop.
That is part of the abusestructure that we felt when we
were in those places and beingabused and tortured.
Essentially, we didn't thinkthat joy was sustainable.
(10:50):
We didn't think that joy wasjust enough alone, that
something else was going tohappen.
And look, I will level with you.
Life is lifey.
It gets really hard, but wecan't just hedge our bets and
hold it gently.
We can fully feel joy, even ifsomething hard happens afterward
.
I might feel broken, but I ambeing made whole.
(11:11):
The scripture says that we arebeing changed day by day to be
like Jesus and he is whole andwe are being moved toward him
every single day.
Again, it may not feel like it.
It may feel so hard and sodifficult and you're like, oh my
gosh, I'm listening to you saythis and none of this feels true
, and I hear you.
I hear you, but these thingsare true.
(11:33):
Nonetheless, they are true.
You are also not powerless.
First of all, the spirit thatraised Christ from the dead
lives in you.
That is some serious power,because the last time I checked,
getting up from the dead is alittle something, so that's
pretty intense, and that powerlives in you.
You also have survived all thethings that have happened.
(11:57):
Right now, to the best of myknowledge, I don't have any
apparitions or ghosts thatlisten to this podcast.
If you are one, feel free tosend me a note because that
would be interesting.
But I don't think you are, andyou've made it this far, and I
know that it hasn't been easy.
In fact, it's been a roadfilled with potholes and valleys
, and blood, sweat and tears ina million different ways.
(12:20):
But you are still here.
You have not crumbled.
You may feel fragile, but youaren't actually fragile.
You can walk with dignity, nomatter what happened or is
happening to you.
You still can walk with dignitybecause you're a person made in
(12:40):
the image and likeness ofChrist.
Never forget that God fightsfor you.
I know that again, some days itmay not feel that way at all,
but it is true nonetheless.
Also, you're not crazy.
I know that sometimes if you'rein difficult situations you can
feel pretty crazy, but you'renot crazy.
(13:00):
You're actually probably prettysane, or at least as sane as
the rest of us, and you areloved.
You are so loved.
You're not invisible to God.
He knows the hairs on your head.
He is not rock concert Jesus.
You're not invisible to God.
He knows the hairs on your head.
He is not rock concert Jesus.
He's just looking out throughthis crowd of people going yeah,
thank you, good night, anddoesn't know you from a hill of
(13:22):
tacos.
He knows you, he knowseverything about you and he
loves you and he likes you.
I know a lot of us can be like,oh yeah, he loves me, he's God,
he has to do that.
But we don't think he likes usand he does.
He likes us.
Jesus always stood with thehurting.
(13:45):
He never chastised someone whowas struggling and we also know
that the Lord is our shepherdand we shall lack nothing.
I know some of you are out therethinking I am lacking a lot and
I can't explain the truth of itwhen you're struggling in other
areas, but I can promise youthat it is true and he is with
you.
You belong to him and you'vebeen sealed for the day of
(14:11):
redemption.
No one can take that seal awayfrom you.
I know that for some listeningto this, even some of these
words have been really difficultto reconcile, to feel, to even
know what you're going to dowith right, because the word of
God and the concept of God hasbeen just so stinking, distorted
(14:34):
.
I really, really hate that.
I hate that so much for you.
I hate that that's been yourstory and I hate that that's
been your experience.
I want to take a moment now tojust read something over you
that I wrote.
I wrote it while I was talkingwith a survivor and I wrote it
(14:57):
for this individual, but it istrue for all of us, so I am
actually going to read it hereas well.
The name of this poem is IDidn't Ask.
None of us asked to bear thelabel victim.
It was thrust upon us bysomeone who chose to use us, to
(15:18):
torture us, to consume us.
None of us asked to bear thelabel survivor.
It was wrapped around us as wefled for our lives, trying to
breathe, as we bled, trying tofind which way is up, trying to
find the girl we lost.
This can also be the guy welost.
I am taking the label overcomer.
(15:41):
I chose this one.
I am rising from the ashes inbeauty and strength, an entirely
new girl, far more lovely thanI dared ever think.
I hope that you let those wordsjust kind of marinate over you,
(16:01):
whether you're male or female Iknow that it was a little bit
gendered, but I am a girl and Iwas talking with a female
survivor but those words are foryou.
You don't have to stay aseither a victim or a survivor.
You can be an overcomer.
I know that in this momentthose words may feel so
incredibly untrue, but they areincredibly, very true, and I
(16:23):
promise you that, as someone whostands on the other side of
some really hard stuff herself,I can attest to the fact that
things are definitely possible,that you never even dreamed A
million things in my life that,when I look back, I'd never be
here.
But here I am, and I mean byhere, I just like straight up,
mean alive, honestly, becausethere are times I did not think
(16:44):
that was going to occur and itdid, and I really want to just
be an encouragement.
If it's helpful to you, if thispodcast has been worth anything
for you, I would encourage youto save this one and just listen
to it when you need to Listento the words and to the truth
that are in it and give yourselfsome goodness.
(17:08):
In fact, I would encourage you.
This is going to be a podcastwith homework.
I know some of you just heardthe word homework and passed out
, but it's not like that.
We're not grading it.
You've already got an A.
It's fine, but I want you towrite some of your own, like I
wrote these.
These are great and hopefullythey resonated, at least on some
(17:29):
level.
Some of them resonated, but ifthey didn't, or if you're like I
need more, I need some morethat are applying to my
situation then I would reallyencourage you to write your own.
Get yourself a little notebookor even a spiral bound index
card set you can get those justabout any office supply store or
probably some sort of onlinepurveyor and write these things
(17:53):
down that you need to rememberand look at them often.
I know that seems a little bitcheesy, and every time I tell a
client to do something like this, they're like rolling their
eyes and telling me like, oh mygosh, ok, but then they do it
and it's actually really helpfulfor them.
In fact, I often will get anemail or a text saying, oh,
you're right, I can't believe it.
(18:14):
It seems so cheesy andridiculous.
And I did it and it was reallyreally helpful, and so I really
just want to encourage you to goand be a little cheesy and
write down the things that youneed to remember.
It is so easy to slide into thatnegative space, especially when
we are so used to it.
We're so used to not thinkingnicely about ourselves.
(18:35):
We're so used to thinkingnegative and hard things, but we
need to look more at the realtruth of things versus always
looking at the negative, and Ireally want to say thank you so
much for joining me on today'sepisode of hey Tabby.
I really hope that it has beena helpful one.
Would love to hear from you, sodrop me some information down
(18:59):
in the comments or shoot me anemail or follow me on instagram
at tabitha the counselor.
If you haven't already picked itup, I encourage you to pick up
body and soul healed and whole.
An invitational guide tohealthy sexuality after trauma,
abuse and coercive control linkis in the show notes and you can
get it at any bookselleranywhere.
Wherever you buy your book, youcan get this book.
(19:21):
I look forward to seeing youguys here again on our next
episode of hey Tabby.
Thanks for joining me fortoday's episode of hey Tabby.
If you're looking for aresource that I mentioned in the
show and you want to check outthe show notes, head on over to
tabithawestbrookcom, forwardslash hey Tabby.
(19:42):
That's H-E-Y-T-A-B-I and youcan grab it there.
I look forward to seeing younext time.
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