Why Mindfulness Practice Matters for Trauma Healing

Have you ever tried mindfulness and thought, “This just isn’t working—I can’t calm down”? You’re not broken. Your body is simply doing what it was designed to do: keep you safe.

In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores why mindfulness practice truly matters, especially for trauma survivors, people of faith, and anyone learning to live in the present after a history of overwhelm or abuse.

You’ll discover how mindfulness helps regulate the nervous system, reconnects body and soul, and creates space for spiritual peace and safety. We’ll unpack common myths (“mindfulness is just sitting still”), share trauma-informed ways to begin, and offer practical grounding tools you can use right now—no incense or perfection required.

Whether you’re healing from complex trauma, navigating anxiety, or simply craving calm, this episode will help you learn to notice without judgment and live with compassion.

Resources Mentioned:
TIP Skill - https://taking-every-thought-captive.teachable.com/p/bonus-skill

Sign up to learn more about the updated Mindful Connection online course - https://link.therasaas.com/widget/form/MyzTv00PzvenmNzassWC

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 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

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🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
If you've ever tried mindfulness and thought, this

(00:02):
isn't working, I can't calmdown.
You're not broken.
Your body's just been doing itsjob and trying to keep you safe.
But there is another way to meetyourself with compassion instead
of control.
And also, mindfulness isn't justabout being still.
And today, we're gonna talkabout it.
Welcome to Hey Tabby, thepodcast where we talk about the

(00:22):
hard things out loud with ouractual lips.

SPEAKER_00 (00:26):
We'll cover all kinds of topics across the
mental health spectrum,including how it intersects with
the Christian faith.
Nothing is off limits here, andwe are not take two verses and
call me in the morning.

SPEAKER_01 (00:36):
I'm Tabitha Westbrook, and I'm a licensed
trauma therapist, but I'm notyour trauma therapist.
I'm an expert in domestic abuseand coercive control and how
complex trauma impacts ourhealth and well-being.
Our focus here is knowledge andhealing.

SPEAKER_00 (00:49):
Trauma doesn't have to eat your lunch forever.
There is hope.
Now, let's get going.

SPEAKER_01 (00:58):
Welcome to this week's episode of Hey Tabby.
I am so glad that you are herewith me.
This week, we are going to talkabout what mindfulness is, what
mindfulness isn't, and how youcan actually learn how to enter
in.
And I'm going to have a reallycool offer for you at the end of
this podcast as well.
So I want to just talk to youabout how many clients have come

(01:20):
to me over the years and said, Idon't think mindfulness works
for me.
I don't even understand it.
What are we doing here?
And a lot of times they are inthat place because they haven't
really been taught whatmindfulness truly is.
It's not about shoehorning calminto a stressful environment.
That is not going to work.
What it really is, is just aboutnoticing your present moment

(01:43):
with compassion.
And when we have been throughabuse and chronic stress, our
nervous system often perceivesanything where we start paying
attention or start to get alittle bit still as dangerous.
And that makes a lot of sense,right?
Our nervous system is primed toprotect us.
It is absolutely part of how Goddesigned our good bodies.

(02:05):
And that really matters.
So I want to give you a gooddefinition of what mindfulness
actually is.
Mindfulness isn't just sittingand emptying all of your
thoughts out of your headthrough your ear.
That's not what it is at all.
Although sometimes being stilland not thinking a ton is
actually really good andhelpful.
But that's not the only way thatwe engage in mindfulness.

(02:29):
It's also not a Buddhistpractice.
If we look at where thescriptures say to meditate on
God's word, we see that there'splenty of talk of mindfulness in
the Bible.
Just looking at the Psalms, thisis one that so many people have
memorized.
Be still and know that I am God.

(02:49):
Right.
And what the psalmist isinviting us to there is to just
become a little bit more quietand to feel and notice the
presence of God.
That is such a beautifulbiblical truth.
So when we look at mindfulnessas just getting quiet, getting
still, not being active, thenwe're actually distilling it
down to something it is not.

(03:12):
And trauma healing, as we havetalked about so many times on
this podcast, is really going tostart by getting into and
connected back up with ourbodies, connecting to our
sensations, maybe our breath,and not just noticing our
thoughts or knowing that we evenhave thoughts.
A lot of times we think that weare our thoughts, right?

(03:34):
So we think I'm thinking this,therefore I must be this.
And that's not actually true.
It's not actually a truestatement at all.
And we can really move away fromthat untruth by learning to
engage in mindfulness practice.
Because trauma disconnects usfrom our bodies, mindfulness can

(03:55):
help us come home to them.
And mindful awareness reallyjust helps our brain get out of
that fight, flight, freeze modethat it kind of lives in when we
have experienced trauma.
And it helps us like reallyregulate our emotions.
So if you're feeling all kindsof upside down, slowing down in
a mindful way, being present inthe moment can actually really

(04:19):
help.
One of my favorite mindfulnessskills that I often teach a
client is called the tip skill.
And this is also a distresstolerance skill, which means
that it helps you deal with allthe big feels.
So when it's all hit in the fanand you're like, I'm not good,
this is actually a mindfulnesspractice that can help your body
physiologically regulate.

(04:41):
And the tip skill, and I willalso leave a link to an example
of that in the show notes and inthe description.
The tip skill is really abouttipping our body chemistry.
So we start with tea, tippingour temperature.
And the way that we do that iswe basically stick our face in a
bowl of cold water or dosomething else.

(05:01):
Now, my makeup does not supportme sticking my face in a bowl of
cold water because my mascarawill get everywhere.
So what I would do is put a coldcompress on my face between my
forehead and my nose and let mybody start to regulate that way.
The ion tip is intense exercise.
And this is where we move ourbody.
Now, intense is going to beindividual to the person.

(05:24):
I am not a CrossFit tireflipping kind of girl.
And so if that is your vibe,then that might be your
intensity, but I would quitefrankly die and fall into the
tire, and that would be the endof me.
But for me, it might look likejumping jacks or a quick walk or
something very different.
So you're going to know whatintense exercise looks like for
your body.

(05:44):
And then the P, there's kind oftwo P's, even though the tip
skill is spelled with one P.
One is paced breathing.
And so that's that single,single double rhythm that I talk
about.
So you breathe in for a count oflet's say five, you hold your
breath for five, and you exhalefor a count of 10.
Now you might do that and say,that's a lot of breathing,

(06:05):
ma'am.
I don't know what to do withthat.
Those numbers can be anythingthat you want.
But you want to do it for atleast a good couple of minutes
and counting your breaths to thebest of your ability to help
your body start tophysiologically calm down.
And the other P is paired musclerelaxation.
And this is where you tense andrelease different muscle groups

(06:26):
throughout the body and to helpthem start to get into a more
calm state.
Now, like I said, I have anexample of this, and there are
links to various resources thatyou can use with that.
And I definitely read throughthe paired muscle relaxation in
a particular file, which will belinked all in the description
below.
So if you have ever wanted toknow how to do this, you're

(06:48):
going to have that opportunity.
Mindful attention really gettingus into the present moment is
something that God designed.
This is something that He knowsworks for our body.
Now, exactly which of the skillswork for you is going to be up
to you because you are unique.

(07:09):
So I'm never going to tell aclient, just go breathe and
always do this because it's notalways going to work.
You need a whole arsenal oftools.
We call it building your toolkitin therapy.
And so you want to build yourtoolkit out so that you have an
arsenal of tools that you canuse when you are feeling all
kinds of upside down.

(07:29):
The other thing aboutmindfulness practice that is
really important is to practice.
It's not called mindfulnessperfection.
That'd be a whole differentthing.
And so you want to learn topractice this.
But mindfulness isn'tself-centered, but it is
self-aware.
It really also frees you up toexperience the presence of God.

(07:51):
And that is such an importantthing.
So how do you get started?
Well, you start like anythingelse, small, right?
We're gonna take one bite at atime until this becomes a
practice.
So one of the things that youmight start off doing is just
noticing a glimmer.
So something good in your lifeor environment.
You might look around and say,man, this sunrise is incredible

(08:15):
right now.
And you just give yourself amoment to notice it.
What do you smell?
What do you see?
How cool or warm is the air?
Things like that.
Those are all really good waysto go, oh, this isn't something
I notice, and to slow down yourthoughts just a little bit.
You can also use any of yourfive senses so you can look for

(08:38):
things you can see and name themout loud.
I always encourage folks to takea breath between each one
because it helps you slow down abit more.
And then you can look for thingsthat you can touch or smell or
taste, all of these things, andjust taking the moment to notice
them is really important.
And again, you want to dosomething that feels safe enough

(09:00):
to your body.
So it could be walking,coloring, noticing.
If you are doing breath work andyour eyes being closed does not
work for you, don't close youreyes.
You're absolutely allowed tokeep your eyes open.
It does not get you in trouble.
There's not a failing grade.
Just because Sally or Bob orHarry does it differently

(09:20):
doesn't mean you do.
You're gonna do this in the waythat works best for you.
And you don't have to beperfect.
This is something that youreally want to get in the rhythm
of practicing when you are notupset, when you are not
dysregulated.
You might be thinking, well,why?

Well, think about it this way: if you need to run a marathon (09:38):
undefined
and you go out and try to run26.2 miles right now, you're
gonna drop dead if you have nottrained at all.
At least I would.
Maybe you're in your 20s and youcan still sleep upside down on a
tree root and have no problem,but I am not in my 20s and I
would not be okay if I'm beingreal honest.
So I'm gonna have to build mybody and my muscles up to it.

(10:02):
So I'm not gonna start trainingon marathon day.
I'm gonna start training whenI'm not in a marathon.
And I'm gonna get my body andmind and emotions and all the
things that you have to have torun a marathon.
I'm gonna expand them, right?
Think about it like liftingweights.
Like I'm also not gonna lift a300-pound barbell today.
I would literally get smush.

(10:23):
So when you practice, you'rebuilding those muscles.
You're building your mindfulmuscles, if you will.
And that's really important.
And you're also learning toconnect with yourself.
So when it's difficult, you getcurious and you're like, wow,
that was really tough today.
What was going on for me?
Maybe it's a day where you havea little more worry or there's a
little more on your plate forwork.

(10:44):
And so you can have a curiousstance toward yourself rather
than in the moment when thingsare very stressful and you're
trying to calm your physiologydown a bit, and you're like, I
have no muscle memory for this.
The single, single doublebreathing is one of my favorite
things to talk about from my ownperspective.

(11:05):
Because I do it so often withclients, I can literally start
giving the instructions on howto do it and start to feel my
own body relax because my bodyknows I will be taking these
breaths and I am so used todoing it that my body is already
ready to relax.
Even talking about it right now,I can feel things that were
tense in my body getting lesstense.

(11:27):
And that's because I have thatmuscle memory because I have
practiced it so often workingwith clients day in and day out.
Now I have that luxury as atherapist, and unless you're a
therapist too, or some sort ofcounselor or people helper,
maybe you don't do it as oftenas I do.
But that's okay.
Set a timer on a phone, set areminder on your calendar, and

(11:51):
give yourself a few minutes ofthis a day.
There is research out there thatsays if you practice mindfulness
for 10 minutes a day over aneight-week period, you actually
change the structure of yourbrain for better.
It reduces anxiety, it reducesdepression, and all because you
just practiced getting present.

(12:14):
Now I know this is a bit of ashorter episode of Hey Tabby,
but I also want to give you alittle heads up on something
that is coming that might beinteresting to you.
A long time ago, I wrote acourse that has been out there
for a while and that peoplereally love on mindful
connection.
And it's eight different lessonsthat teaches you how to do what

(12:34):
I am talking about.
And I am about to remaster it.
So if you want to get on thelist to get the remastered
version, then I am going toleave a link in our notes today
and you can get on the list forit.
And I will let you know whenit's ready.
It is a really powerful andwonderful tool.
I'm gonna bring in even moreinformation.

(12:55):
And if you've already gottenthis particular course, then I
want you to know you'll get theupdates as well.
So if you're interested ingetting the retooled mindful
connection module, that's a lotof M's.
But if you're interested inthat, then you definitely do not
want to miss out.
Fill out that form, get on theinterest list, and I will let

(13:16):
you know when it's ready.
It is a powerful, powerful wayto start changing your brain to
help you become more present andmore peaceful.
Thank you again for being herewith me this week on Hey Tabby.
I look forward to seeing youagain here next week.

SPEAKER_00 (13:33):
Thanks for joining me for today's episode of Hey
Tabby.
If you're looking for a resourcethat I mentioned in the show and
you want to check out the shownotes, head on over to
tabithawestbrook.com forwardslash hey tabby.
That's H E Y T A C I, and youcan grab it there.
Look forward to seeing you nexttime.