Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad, james Gutman, just hi dad,
he's my dad, james gutman.
Folks, james gutman, it's highpod.
I'm dad.
I got lucas here with me.
We are recording the podcast.
Thank you so much for takingthe time to check us out.
(00:35):
It is friday.
It's going up on friday.
You see, it's going up onfriday, june the 27th.
Uh, I appreciate you guyschecking me out whether you
found us on highpodimdadcom,whether you found us on Spotify,
audible, any of the streamingservices.
That's where this podcast is.
But if you want to see me justnow, I'm like look, it's Lucas.
So if you're listening to thisand you think I'm insane, go to
(00:55):
YouTube.
Youtube at high blog on dad.
That is our channel.
I'm still trying to remember itfor any stuff guys, all video
podcasts, going forward, tryingto put these up along with the
audio version.
I'm making videos as well.
I've been on Facebook, onInstagram at HiJamesGuttman.
You could follow me makingvideos putting things out there,
announcing the book, trying toget into the new you know the
(01:19):
new world.
I guess you could say I've beenwriting since 2002.
I've been doing audio podcastssince 2003.
But when it comes to video.
I used to be a littleapprehensive about it.
You know, 2006, I tried makinga video for a wrestling thing I
was doing.
It was difficult, it wasdifficult but at the end of the
(01:40):
day, yeah, it kind of scared meaway from doing it again for
another 19 years.
But here I am, doing video.
I put some good videos together.
Follow me on social media, hiJames Guttman.
You can see some of thosevideos Like subscribe.
All that good stuff.
And it couldn't come kind of ata better time, you know, this
whole past week, coinciding withthe release of the book Hi
World, I'm Dad how Fathers CanJourney to autism awareness,
(02:02):
acceptance and appreciation,which I'm pretty sure I've been
quoting incorrectly thatsubtitle for a while.
But either way, you get theidea autism appreciation, it's
the whole idea of the blog, it'sthe whole idea of the book,
it's the whole idea of thepodcast, the whole idea of this
kid right here.
The idea that there are partsof my son's personality that are
beautiful because of, and notdespite, autism.
Luke, are you coming over?
(02:22):
Bud?
Come here, why not?
All right, either way, yeah,man.
The idea that my kid is great.
I love this kid.
Lucas is unique, lucas isspecial.
Lucas is just a wonderful kidand I got to thank all of you
for the positive support thatwe've had.
I've heard from people who havegotten the book already you know
, in print, people who have iton their Kindles and, of course,
(02:43):
people who have listened to menarrate it over on Spotify and
Audible and all the places whereyou get audio books.
It's available everywhere andit means a lot to me because I
think the idea here is that Iwant people to know my son, but
I also want to help people whoare struggling with a lot of the
things that I struggled with.
And for those of you who arehearing this podcast maybe one
of the first times somebody whohas suggested the blog or the
(03:05):
book by a family member orsomebody, we're trying to give
you a hint like hey, you gottaaccept your kid.
Um, I want you to understandsomething I often think about.
If I was a parent early on inLucas's um journey who came
across a blog like this, whatwould I have thought?
Um, and I would have thought itwas nonsense.
(03:27):
Yeah, how's that?
That's the most honest I canget with you guys.
I understand why for some itseems like a difficult thing to
wrap your head around Autismappreciation, especially when
you're in that point as a parent, worry that your child might
never speak.
How can there be a person whohas that very thing telling me
(03:50):
it's great.
He must be, you know, deludinghimself.
He must be thinking to himself,you know.
Oh, how do I make a good thingout of this when in reality I
don't have to do that.
I just have to live the lifethat we have.
And I know that that's truebecause as soon as I start
explaining it to people, theyget it.
It doesn't take that long toget it.
(04:10):
Look, do I want my son to speak,absolutely.
I want my son to have words.
I want my son to speak.
I want my son to sing.
I want my son to win AmericanIdol.
I want my son to be thepresident of the United States.
I want him to grow wings andfly.
I want anything that Lucas canhave to get ahead in life.
I want him to have it.
(04:31):
Totally get it.
Same thing with my daughter.
I want my daughter to wings,fly, all that stuff.
I want everybody to have that,both my kids.
But I have known Lucas now forthe entire 14 years.
He's been alive.
I met him right away.
He came right out and was likehey, how are you?
And this is who he is.
(04:53):
I've watched him grow up and bethe person he is.
I've seen him go throughkindergarten, first grade,
second grade, third grade, allthese grades, without saying
anything, no words.
I've learned to understand himbased on intuition, based on
gestures, based on his device,based on pecs where he points
the pictures, based on just youknow, a fist, bump or a face.
(05:16):
I know him, it's my guy.
So to turn around and be likeyou, oh uh, I wish.
I wish he didn't have autism,would be to wish I had a
different kid, because tosuddenly take that part of his
personality away, to suddenly ifhe woke up tomorrow, like hey,
when's breakfast?
I'd be like who are you?
(05:37):
That's not my guy now.
If he suddenly started learning, like if he woke up tomorrow
and all of a sudden he said aword and then there was another
word and we worked with him, wewent through it.
That's a different storyaltogether.
But just the idea that I'munhappy With Lucas is silly.
We love Lucas.
My daughter loves Lucas.
He's.
If you know him, you can't notlove him.
(05:59):
He's loving and he's sweet andhe'll come over when you're
having a bad day and just giveyou a kiss.
I've had that, I've had him.
He does this thing puts hishand under my chin, he goes, he
lifts me up and he looks at me.
He'll smile.
I could squeeze him, I.
I could squeeze him, I couldhug him.
He's just the nicest, just thenicest guy like you'll ever meet
, just loving and kind and he'snot rude and he's not selfish
(06:25):
and he's not any of those things.
And it's funny because peoplewill hear that and they'll be
like well, you know, kids withautism, sometimes they want
something, just take it andthat's look.
Lucas went through that phasetoo with food, where he would
just take the food he wanted.
But a lot of the times,especially with my son, look,
everything I talk about is, whenit comes to Lucas, right.
So I'm going to tell you aboutmy son.
I don't know how your kid is.
This is my kid.
(06:46):
Lucas never took anything fromanybody just to be mean.
He never took it to make themupset and he never took
something from somebody else.
Honestly, I don't think out ofselfishness.
I think Lucas, especially whenhe was younger, was concerned
that he wasn't going to get thefood he wanted.
He didn't have a means to askfor it.
He sees it, he takes it.
(07:06):
He didn't understand that thatfood was for somebody else and
it's not for him.
All those things had to betaught slowly, which is a part
of who he is.
But he doesn't have it in himto be selfish.
He doesn't have it in him to bemean.
Lucas isn't a mean boy, meangirl, whatever phrase you want
to use for it.
(07:27):
He's none of those things.
Lucas is just happy in his lifeand he's not happy all the time.
That's another thing too.
It's another misconception.
Oh, he's happy all the time.
He's happy most of the time.
I'll give him that man, thatkid is, he's good and he's happy
because we kind of we make surehe's happy.
We make sure he has the thingshe wants.
Lucas doesn't ask for much.
Lucas asked for like fourthings, you know, like three
(07:48):
different foods in his ipad.
That's all he really needs,maybe the swimming pool once in
a while, um, so we make surehe's happy and he's happy a lot.
But Lucas feels his emotions.
When Lucas is sad, lucas is sad.
It's crazy.
There'll be times where, likewe're getting ready to go out, I
go put your shoes on.
We're going to go out and hesits down and put his shoes on
and he'll either not put them onor, like you know, just kind of
(08:10):
ignore it and go on his iPadand I'll turn on and go, hey,
put your shoes on right now.
And, depending on how he'sfeeling in the moment, he might
burst into tears and it's notnonsense tears, it's tears down
his face.
Now suddenly I'm like, oh myGod, I hate shoes, I hate them.
I think, really, like you,freak out because nobody feels
(08:30):
emotions like Lucas feels.
Lucas is, I don't know, he'sunique, he's one of a kind, and
I credit autism for a lot ofthat.
And now, if you have a kidwho's two, three, four years old
, this is probably not going toapply to you yet I'm going to be
honest with you.
I didn't accept autism yet attwo, three and four years old,
(08:52):
because you're still at that agewhere anything can happen.
You never know what can happen,right, so you're waiting.
He could still wake up any dayand just be like hey, good
morning dad.
And that's who he is now.
But that's not now.
This is who he is and I have achoice.
I had a choice for a while.
I could either spend every daylamenting about who he could be
(09:13):
right oh, if only he could dothis, if only he could do that
or I can just be so happy and soproud of this being my son by
my side, and I can get theopportunity which I've done here
on the blog and in the book toshare them with the world and to
point these things out to you.
Because what's funny is peopleknow this already Autism
(09:35):
appreciation you already know itand I know this because
everybody I meet that asks whatI do.
I tell them about this.
I cannot offer a briefintroduction.
That makes life kind ofdifficult.
When you meet people, what doyou do?
And I go through this wholething and I write about my son,
but then I don't want them tothink that I'm writing this sad,
like, oh, I have a kid withautism block.
I don't, it's a positive.
And I go through the wholerundown of it.
(09:57):
But as soon as I start tellingthem what autism appreciation is
, everybody's got a story,everybody knows somebody.
Oh, my neighbor's kid hasautism.
She's so sweet, you should meether, she's amazing and
everything's positive.
It's rare.
You don't usually hear somebodygo oh, he's got autism.
Yeah, my neighbor's kid hasautism.
I hate him.
You don't get that.
You get like he's sweet.
(10:18):
He's a nice kid.
He bought him.
You know.
I give him cookies like justsweet stories.
Um, cause we know it.
You know, but I think a lot ofit.
Let's have a second.
Come on, look at this.
Come on, I'll get you in asecond buddy, hang out.
You want to hang out here?
We're on the podcast, butthat's the whole idea.
Look, lean down.
(10:39):
The whole idea here is that thisguy is seriously one of the
most loving, caring guys thereis.
You have to wait, buddy, wait,wait, sit.
One of the most caring, lovablepeople there is patient.
Look at that.
That's something that a coupleyears ago we couldn't do.
(10:59):
If he came over to me andwanted my attention and I just
turned him, I was like sit down,sit down on the floor crying.
It takes work, it takesunderstanding and it takes
something that I don't know.
It sounds like a like a bit ofa brag and maybe it is, and I
don't care.
He loves me and he trusts me.
I mean, he knows that if I tellhim give me a second, I'm going
(11:20):
to be back in a few minutes andwe're going to get him food or
whatever it is that he wants.
I never leave him hanging and Inever abandon his needs and
once he knew that it changed ourrelationship.
But I suffered through a lot ofthe same things that a lot of
parents suffer through.
I blame myself, I kick myself,I worry.
I didn't know what was comingand I got to tell you good
(11:41):
things are coming.
You just got to do the work.
You got to show your child thatyou're there for them.
You got to make them feel heardand understand and accepted.
You don't have to correct howthey play with toys.
You don't have to hold theirhands when they clap.
This kid claps constantly,cover his mouth all those things
we don't do.
I let him be who he is and heknows that I love him and I do.
(12:04):
I love both my kids equally.
I have a relationship with eachone of them unlike anybody else
on this planet, and that'sanother one of the blessings
that I got by having a childlike Lucas.
The relationship I have withhim is unlike anybody, anybody
in the world.
He's different, he's specialand there's so many great things
(12:27):
about him and I'm lucky to knowhim.
Come here, buddy, we're going tosay goodbye, we're going to end
up this podcast, we're going toturn this down.
So we are, we are happy, we arecontent, look and we offer
appreciation.
Say hi, buddy, you good, butthat does it for me I.
I am getting pulled away fromthis podcast, so we are going to
(12:48):
close it out while I go, make aquesadilla, quesadilla, make a
quesadilla.
So that's where we're going togo.
Until next time, guys.
Thank you so much.
Do me a favor.
Check out highblogomdadcom.
It is Monday, wednesday.
Brand new blogs up there.
The podcast every single Friday, whether it's anywhere.
Highblog'm Dadcom.
We're on YouTube.
The video is on there.
Follow me on social media, hi,james Gutman, and pick up Hi
World.
I'm Dad.
(13:08):
It's the new book GangbustersAudio Digital.
You name it, it's available.
And that does it for me.
Guys, thank you so much forlistening.
Thank you for being a part ofour journey.
Until next time.
This is James Gutman saying bewell, bye-bye, I'll see you next
(13:59):
time.