Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad.
James Gutman.
Folks, james Gutman, just hidad, he's my dad, james gutman
folks.
Hi pot, I'm dad.
Welcome back to another editionof the podcast.
It is may.
Welcome to may.
It is 2025.
Thank you for finding me on anystreaming service.
(00:35):
We're there hypodomdadcom allthe archives.
It is fantastic, uh.
And it has been a week where, asalways when I write in the blog
on highbloghomdadcom Monday andWednesday, I focus on my son
and the idea of autismappreciation.
Now, for those of you guys whoare new, who haven't been here
before, the whole idea, my wholereason for autism appreciation
(00:56):
was I felt like it was theevolution from awareness to
acceptance, which I always Ialways thought it was crazy that
we get into these debates about.
You know, april's autismawareness.
Now it's autism acceptance,don't you say awareness?
Everyone's fighting over thewording of it.
Meanwhile, one of the people inmy life who is most affected by
autism doesn't use any words atall, and I can understand him
great.
Meanwhile, everybody elsefighting for the same thing
(01:19):
autism and just embracing peoplewith autism are now fighting
over which one's more important.
Now, I've gone over this a lotand I always felt like autism
awareness and acceptance andappreciation.
They can be applied two ways.
Well, actually two of them canbe applied two different ways,
right?
So autism awareness for me as adad, as somebody whose child
(01:39):
had autism, involved me pickingup what I was seeing, right,
because a lot of times we talkourselves out of things we don't
want to say something out loud.
And autism awareness for me wasbecoming aware my son is doing
things that that could be autism, which, if you have a child
with autism, if you've dealtwith the situation, you know how
terrifying that can be foryoung parents.
(02:01):
Even think it you get mad atyourself Like why would I think
that I don't think that I usedto say all the time when he was
little that I was worried abouttalking about him having autism,
even after his diagnosis,because I always thought one day
this kid is going to be talkingand just neurotypical and he's
going to turn to me and be likeyo, why'd you tell everyone I
had autism?
I thought that until he waslike five eyes sick, it was
insane.
So that's autism awarenessbeing aware of the fact that
(02:24):
your kid has autism.
For the public, autism awarenessinvolves being aware that there
are people with autism, right?
So if my son is at a restaurantor if my son is somewhere with
me in line and he's excited andhe's happy and he claps or he
shouts out something not to thepoint where it's disturbing
everyone, but definitelysomething that would be out of
place and noticeable you don'thave people staring at you.
(02:46):
And I've dealt with this.
I you know, sometimes you stilldeal with it.
I dealt with it the other day.
We were at a restaurant and wegot up and he clapped and he's
jumping and I see this guy andhe's literally four feet away
from us and he's kind of likelooking, and so I give them kind
of a leeway, right.
Like you look a little bit likelook over, I don't mind if you
look real quick, because I don'tknow, there's been times where
(03:07):
I'll wake up in the middle ofthe night.
He's yelling in his room.
I forget that that's just partof my life and I freak out.
I'm like who's yelling?
Oh my god, lucas is yelling.
So the guy looked for a bit andthen I just turned, I just kind
of stared him in the face untilhe looked away and this story
sounds so much better than itreally was.
If you realize that he was likefour feet away from us, he's
right there and I'm just like,hey, you know thing in my brain,
(03:28):
where are you going?
Psycho boy.
But that was the first timethat had happened in years of
anybody looking right.
And the reason why is becausepeople are aware of autism.
2011 versus now you know, whenhe was a baby versus now, it's
completely different.
So people get it.
There's a lot, you know, morepeople noticing.
So, at the end of the day,autism awareness was important.
(03:48):
It's important for familieslike mine.
It's important for people likeLucas.
It's important for people withautism who are not looking to
work in the community, maybejust yet, and he's one of those
people.
Okay, autism acceptance rightNow.
You think to yourself well, youwere aware of it, you accepted
it right, kind of sorta.
(04:08):
I didn't.
I had him tested for hishearing and I went through all
these different things to try tofind out.
What else could it be besidesautism?
I waited for him to catch up.
A part of me kept thinkingeverybody else is like stupid
and he and I are going to be thetwo that, when we just break
through it, right, like I, wouldsit with him at night and go
over and try to teach him wordsand try to teach him how to
(04:30):
speak and do different things.
And I kept thinking I'm goingto walk out with this kid and
he's going to be like helloeveryone.
And everyone's going to be like, oh my God, confetti is going
to be in many ways because hehas autism.
(04:50):
But back then I was terrified,but I was going to show the
world.
So no, I hadn't accepted autismyet, although I was aware of it
.
For the public, accepting autismis different than being aware
of it.
You can be aware that somebodyhas autism but not want them to
work at your store because theyrequire all these different
(05:11):
things and you don't know howit's going to happen.
Autism acceptance is kind oflike yeah, accept it, you're
part of the community, do yourthing.
I'm not going to.
You know, it's a lot of doomsaying right.
It's a lot of doom saying rightWith people who don't know
something, and I've noticed thisfrom writing that HuffPo
article.
I've noticed from dealing withdifferent people.
The less some people know aboutsomething, the more they make
up in their head and the worseit is.
(05:31):
And autism is a big part of it.
So a lot of these things thatmay keep somebody from getting
employment or being acceptedinto a group is because of
assumptions that are made aboutwho they might be.
Autism acceptance that's whatit is Now.
For me, all that's great.
I did it.
I did autism awareness, awareof it.
Autism acceptance I accepted it.
But once I did what was left todo, I was living with my kid.
(05:54):
We were like hanging out.
He's my son.
I have a daughter, aneurotypical daughter.
I treat him the same way.
It was kind of like we watch TVtogether and we sit around
together and he's a part of mylife.
But obviously it's different,right?
It's different than it would beif he had words, if he was
neurotypical and a lot of hispersonality is unique because he
has autism and I like hispersonality.
(06:15):
Don't get me wrong, he'sdefinitely got.
You know, he's a kid, right.
So he does kid things.
So don't get me wrong.
For example and this is funnybecause I was thinking about
this today and I was going totalk about it and then I got the
perfect example to talk to youguys about it A lot of people
have the misconception that forme, autism appreciation means
that everything he does is justlike wonderfully great.
(06:36):
He doesn't do anything bad.
He's just a loving, happy kidwho does only good stuff.
Now, he's happy, he's loving.
He doesn't always do good stuff.
There's definitely times wherehe does naughty things, he does
kid things, he does, you know,mischievous things right.
But what makes me still, evenduring those times, appreciate
(06:57):
the fact that he has autism ishow he goes about doing them.
For example, an hour ago we werein the kitchen me, him and his
sister and we were eating.
I was eating a bagel, she waseating a bagel.
He had eaten a quesadilla,because that's all he ever wants
is for me to make quesadillas.
It's a big work, I think hejust wants me to make him
(07:18):
quesadillas forever.
So I made him a quesadilla.
He then went go play.
She went up to her room and Ifinally sat down with this bagel
and he came back up immediately.
Now he wanted pirate booty,loves pirate booty.
So I go to get him pirate bootyand as I do it, I look over my
shoulder and he's holding halfof my bagel and he's just
shoving it into his mouth,staring at me as he does, and I
(07:40):
look at him and he's justcontinuing to try to get it in
there, like, and there's noalarm on his face.
He knows he's not supposed todo it.
And there's no alarm, there'sno sense of like well, it's kind
of like, well, I'm just goingto do this and we'll just deal
with whatever.
And I'm like, hey, no.
And then he gets upset andcries and it's cute and sad, and
then you feel bad, but then you, I'm going to do no, like 20
(08:06):
times.
What do we do?
We don't eat people's food.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
And then I made him wait to gethis pirate booty while I made
coffee.
It was a whole thing.
And that's how kind of how wedeal with those situations.
But, dude right in my face, howrefreshing is that?
Honestly, honestly, before youthink, oh, my God, in front of
you, there's no, I never have to.
Who did this?
Who did?
(08:27):
It's him, he'll do it, you knowwhen he does it.
And there's something about thatpurity and that kind of that
honesty that he has and who heis and what he does and how he
goes about things that you know.
I say I envy, and I do envy it,but I wish, I wish everybody
was like him.
I wish everybody had that sameapproach to life that Lucas does
(08:48):
because of autism, and that'swhy I appreciate his autism.
Whether he's doing bad thingswithout covering them up,
whether he's showing you the joyon his face like unfiltered
over anything, that makes himhappy, it really is a beautiful
way to go about life and whenyou have people there who love
you like he does, it's.
There's nothing sad about hislife having autism and that's
(09:11):
what I said I wasn't gonna do.
But that's the whole thing.
When I talk about cure andlooking for a cure and things
like that, the thing I don'tlike about talking about looking
for a cure is because what ifthere ever is a cure?
Right, there's probably isn't acure.
This is the way he looks at theworld.
I don't think there is a cure.
I don't think it's possible,based on how it affects my son's
personality, but even the ideaof it.
Like I don't want him different.
This is who he is.
I'm cool with it.
(09:33):
Is it a lot of work?
Yeah.
Am I going to have to worryabout adult care for him?
Yeah.
Am I having concerns now aboutthings as he gets older?
Yes, lots of things.
Man, I'm still helping him getready for school and he's got a
little mustache growing and lifeis what it is for us.
But I wouldn't change him foranything.
He's sweet and he's kind and Idon't know the purpose that he
(09:56):
serves is.
It goes beyond the stupid stuffthat we worry about.
He doesn't write things, hedoesn't build things and he
doesn't paint houses or fixplumbing or do dry cleaning.
He doesn't do stuff like that.
He serves a purpose that no oneelse serves, at least for my
life, of just bringing thisexample of what we can all be
(10:18):
right to everyone else.
You just see it.
I don't know, it's a beautifulthing, but that, see, and all
that right, and all that.
That's autism appreciation.
And here's what's crazy, right,the way I experience autism
appreciation is the exact sameway I want the outside to
experience autism appreciation,unlike awareness, unlike
acceptance, where you could belike for the public it's like
(10:40):
this and for the family it'slike this.
Autism appreciation, the samefor everybody we all appreciate.
The only difference is justlike autism, awareness and
acceptance.
It's up to me, as his dad, totell these things to people, to
write these blogs, to sharethese stories, to tell you a
side of raising my son that youknow, not every story is happy.
Not every story is some joyousthing.
(11:00):
I have stories on the blogabout him, you know, wrecking
his room or refusing to move offthe playground, but they all
showcase his personality, andhis personality is that's the
beauty To me, that's the beautyand that's what I love about my
son.
So this week I wrote twodifferent ones.
Same kind of thing on Monday,why I needed my nonverbal son as
(11:22):
much as he needed me.
It's the idea that you know whywould God give me a nonverbal
son?
It's like because I needed him.
And why did I need him?
Because of everything I justtold you.
And then the next one was ifyou don't know my son, you don't
know crystals, or you knowanti-vaxxers, or you know some
(11:43):
of the respondents to a piecethat I wrote recently, and
you're delusional, you'redangerous.
I'm like I love my son and I'mdangerous.
So that's a t-shirt, ain't it?
But yeah, so I wrote that onWednesday, monday, wednesday,
highblogomdadcom.
We got all this stuff there.
And again, guys, I'm going totalk more about it as we get
closer to it.
We're about a little over amonth away from High World.
I'm dad.
How fathers can journey fromautism, awareness to acceptance,
to appreciation.
Hey, that was the theme of theshow that comes out June 19th.
(12:06):
It'll be in stores, it's onAmazon right now for pre-order
and there's tons of crazy stuffon the way about this book.
I promise you, give me, I'lltell you what.
Give me three weeks.
Within the next three weeks, Ihave major news.
I'll tell you guys all about it, and that does it for me.
Follow me on social media, hi,james Gutman.
H-i James Gutman.
Be back here next Friday, anystreaming service.
Thank you, hi, blog.
I'm dadcom.
So much stuff Until then, jamesGutman, be well, bye pod, we'll
(12:29):
see you next time.