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April 4, 2025 13 mins

James Gutman reflects on Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Appreciation Month, sharing personal insights as the father of Lucas, his 14-year-old nonverbal son with autism. He explores how language creates conflict even among those advocating for people with autism, while emphasizing that his son's non-verbal communication has shown him how "overrated" words can be.

• Terminology matters but creates division—"child with autism" vs "autistic"
• Autism Awareness helps others understand behaviors like unexpected loud noises or clapping
• Autism Acceptance benefits those seeking inclusion in workplaces, schools and social settings
• Autism Appreciation recognizes beautiful qualities like honesty and authenticity across the spectrum
• Lucas demonstrates refreshing directness—wanting only what he truly wants without social pretense
• Avoiding both superhero narratives and disability-focused labels helps see the whole person

Pre-order James' new book "Hi World, I'm Dad: A Journey from Autism Awareness to Acceptance to Appreciation" now on Amazon, available in stores this June.


Preorder James Guttman’s new book – “Hi World, I’m Dad: How Fathers Can Journey to Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Appreciation”

Follow Us On Facebook and Follow James Guttman on Instagram.

Also, be sure to read the blog that started it all - Hi Blog! I'm Dad.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
James Guttman (00:14):
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad, james Gutman.
Folks, it's james gutman, it'shigh pod, I'm dad.
Welcome back to another editionof the podcast.
It is april, is april the 4th,it is autism awareness month.

(00:35):
It's also autism acceptancemonth, it is autism appreciation
month and it is high pod, I'mdad.
Thank you for finding me on anyof the streaming services and
hipodomdadcom, all the archives.
It's a domain.
So, yeah, bookmark, like,subscribe, all the good stuff
you're supposed to do topodcasts.
Do that to this podcast andcome back every single Friday,
thank you.
Autism Appreciation Month Ilike the sound of that.

(01:02):
I also like the sound of AutismAcceptance Month I like the
sound of that.
I also like the sound of AutismAcceptance Month.
I like the sound of AutismAwareness Month.
And the reason why I'mmentioning all that is because,
as the father of a nonverbal son14, 14, sounds so old I've
known for a while how overratedwords can be.

(01:22):
And whenever we say that,whenever we go, words are
overrated as, like a parent likeme, people think that it's kind
of like a tongue-in-cheek.
You know, it's not a big deal.
He doesn't speak Like I'mtrying to convince myself and
I'm trying to make it out.
Like you know, we don't reallyneed words, but, to be honest
with you guys, we don't needwords and I'll tell you why.
Because one of the craziestthings is talking about my son,

(01:45):
who is nonverbal, requireslanguage that causes conflict
just by being language.
For example, I always say mychild with autism.
That's how I refer to Lucashaving autism.
I don't say autistic, I'm notoffended by autistic, I'm not.
I look at it like Lucas is notjust autism, right?

(02:08):
Lucas has other characteristics, other things about him.
So to say he is autistic is to,for me, paint him with a big
brush, right?
Not saying that's even what ittruly is.
Just how I see it and how Ifeel it when I say it.
When I say with autism, I meanwell, first of all, he's my son
with autism, because, beforeanything, he's my son and he has

(02:28):
autism, right?
So that's how I say it.
Some people completely theopposite.
It's not.
You know, with autism impliesthat he has something but he
doesn't have it.
He is I got it and that's cooland I'm cool with it, and I've
always been cool with that kindof stuff, like language and how
we talk to each other.
I love writing, right, I'vealways loved English.

(02:49):
I love writing, I love words.
I think it's amazing how we cansay some of the things we say
in the ways that we say them,how we can paint pictures with
our words, how we can find waysto discuss things, how there's
different ways to look atdifferent phrases.
So I'm cool with however youwant to put it, as long as

(03:09):
you're not doing it and sayingwhat you're saying to be
offensive or to be provocative.
For the sake of it, I'm coolwith it.
Say whatever you want, butpeople will fight about it and
people will get upset about it.
And that happens every April,which always blows my mind.
Because here we are, we're inthe midst of a month dedicated
to people like my son, not justpeople like my son, but people
across the whole spectrum.

(03:30):
Lucas is Lucas right.
He's nonverbal, he has autism,he has life skills that he still
has to work on and things likethat.
There's some people who haveautism and it affects them
completely different.
You know, maybe it's a socialthing, maybe it's a matter of
having to have things done acertain way, being particular
about something, obsessing abouta particular thing.

(03:51):
You know, and I see threads ineveryone I've ever met who has
autism certain things that I get.
I can meet somebody who is,however you want to put it, high
functioning whatever the phraseis who comes to me and starts
telling me about something intheir life that they're very
excited about, whether it's a TVshow or music or something, and
I listen to them and I getinformation.

(04:12):
It's such a great thing, and Isee that in Lucas on a different
level.
Lucas loves his videos, andwhen Lucas loves something, he's
happy about it, he wants toshare it, he wants to show you
his love for it, and that, to me, is one of the things about
having autism.
That's kind of a common thingacross all spectrums, right, but
you will find people who willstand against each particular

(04:34):
aspect of having autism, peoplewho will resent high functioning
people, people who don't see itas something that my son has.
It's a battle, and there's nobetter way to show this battle
than with autism.
Fill in the blank month, right.
Autism awareness.
That was the first one, right,this is something it was always

(04:57):
linked to.
You know autism speaks.
I know they have.
People have issues with that,but above everything, the idea
that you have to be aware ofautism.
To somebody who lives theirwhole life with autism is, at
its heart, something that couldbe offensive.
I get that.
I totally get it.
This is who I am.
Why do you have to be aware ofit?

(05:24):
Now, me as the father of a boywho has autism, like Lucas does,
a boy who will shout out in arestaurant, a boy who will clap
loudly in a quiet place, I wantthere to be autism awareness.
I want people to be aware thatthere's people like my son, so
that we're at, like you know, asomewhat quiet thing.
We're waiting in line at theDMV or whatever, and he shouts
out.
People don't stare or be likewhat's wrong with that kid.
They know that's autism.

(05:46):
I'm aware of that.
That's fine.
Everyone's okay with it.
And as long as he's notdisturbing anyone which has
always been my thing as a parent, right?
My son has autism.
If he claps loudly while we'restanding in line in a loud place
, don't stare at him.
It is what it is.
Man, you're loud, he's loud,we're loud.
Now, if we're in a quiet place,it's my job to kind of calm him

(06:06):
down, get him out of there.
I try to be supportive ofeveryone around us but in the
absence of that, being unablesometimes to do that, autism
awareness is for families likemine.
In the absence of that, beingunable sometimes to do that,
autism awareness is for familieslike mine.
When Lucas was first diagnosedaround 2012, 2013, I was
terrified.
I thought I was going to haveto fight everybody.

(06:26):
I was ready for it.
Everybody that looked in ourdirection.
I'm like I'm going to fighteverybody who looks at my kid
yeah, he's clapping, he's gotautism, so what?
And it rarely if ever happenedback then.
He's got autism, so what?
And it rarely if ever happenedback then.
And nowadays it doesn't happenat all.
Why Autism awareness?
So, yeah, I get it.
You might like autismacceptance better, but to me,

(06:46):
autism awareness, there's aplace for it.
Autism acceptance Totally onboard with that too Doesn't
affect my son, right, and I'lltell you why.
You can't help but accept Lucasand, to be honest with you,
lucas doesn't care if you accepthim.
This is one of the things Ilove about my son Like he just

(07:07):
doesn't care, like you don'thave to let him play with you.
He's doing his own thing.
You know He'll hang out withyou.
If you're nice to him, he'll benice to you.
He wants people to be nice tohim, but if you're not, he can
take your leave, go away.
Whatever, he'll help with you.
He doesn't get like that.
He doesn't get resentful.
I've never seen him really beangry at a specific person.
He's not like that.
That's cool.

(07:29):
That said, I know people whohave autism who could benefit
from autism acceptance, whetherit's in the workplace, whether
it's at school.
People who want to live withinsociety and want to be accepted
for who they are.
Lucas, he doesn't care.
He doesn't need to be insociety.
It's on me.
I'm trying to get him in.
I'm trying to get him to wantto be a part of society.
If you accept him, if you don'taccept him, that's on you.

(07:52):
He's cool, like that.
That said, I can recognize theimportance of autism acceptance.
Right, we all should be able todo this.
This is one of the things that,as a parent who especially
needs a child, as a parent to aboy with autism, a nonverbal son
, I wish we all understood.
Just because autism affects afamily differently than mine

(08:16):
doesn't mean that I should onlywant to focus on my son during
autism month, right?
So I'm good with that.
Autism acceptance.
It's huge, it's a big thing.
It helps a lot of people For me, and this is the reason why
this is the reason why my bookis dedicated to this.
It's the reason why I'vewritten about this.
It's why I pushed this idea.
Autism appreciation, that's thething that goes across all the

(08:39):
spectrum, right Like it's amatter of understanding that,
whether someone's highfunctioning, whether someone
struggles with life skills,whether someone's verbal or
nonverbal, there are certainparts of autism that are
beautiful for a person'spersonality that are beautiful
for a person's personality.

(09:00):
I've seen honesty from peoplewith autism, whether they're
verbal and will tell you thingsand just be very open about
everything.
Or a boy like my son, who'shonest with who he is, with his
emotions, with his wants.
I've said it before Lucas wantspirate booty.
He wants pirate booty.
He'll ask you for this snack.

(09:21):
He's not like the kind ofperson that will then turn
around afterwards.
But I didn't really want that.
I took that just to make youfeel better, because I knew that
you wanted to get rid of it andI knew that you didn't want to
eat it.
So he doesn't do that man, hejust eats the pirate booty.
He'll ask for more.
He's all right, and when he'sdone with it, he just pushes it
away.
It's like a piece of crap.
You come to him with stuff.
You know what I mean.
I'll make him a meal and I'llbe like, look, I made you that.

(09:42):
I'm all excited.
I'm like, here, you want to eatit, get I don't know.
And for me, that's thecornerstone, that's autism
appreciation, that's what I loveabout it and that's for me,
what this month really is.
We can call it all differentthings awareness, acceptance but
across the entire thing, it'sabout appreciating the people

(10:03):
who are in our lives who haveautism.
And I'll tell you why youshould do that.
Because if you go online andApril comes around and you find
families of people with autism,they all will tell you about
autism awareness and autismacceptance.
Because all of us know howwonderful the people in our
lives who have autism are andwe're also aware of sometimes

(10:26):
how hard it is for other peopleoutside of that circle to get to
know them.
So this is our time.
This is April.
This is the time where we tellpeople this is who we have in
know them.
So this is our time.
This is April.
This is the time where we tellpeople this is who we have in
our lives.
You should know my kid.
He's awesome, that's what I do,so I share, I tell people and I
want them to appreciate him, sohopefully you do.
All of my blogs are usuallyabout that right this week and

(10:47):
the reason why I brought this up.
I mentioned both AutismAcceptance Month and Autism
Awareness in my posts.
Both of them did talk aboutappreciation as well, but I
wrote on Monday about why AutismAcceptance Month hits different
in our family, wrote a littlebit about how the idea of autism
acceptance in my householdmeant getting my nonverbal son
to accept us, to have him wantto be a part of our lives and

(11:09):
the things that we do, and thatwas important.
And the other one, autism.
Autism awareness starts withseeing my son, not labeling him.
I talk about something I'vetalked about from day one the
whole superpower, superherothing which you know, and I just
told you I just went on aboutautism appreciation how
wonderful my son is because ofautism Don't make him a
superhero.
Yeah, it makes him a greathuman being.

(11:29):
And by the same token, I alsodon't refer to him as being
disabled and these differentthings that sometimes come off
overly negative.
My son is my son.
He has struggles and he hastriumphs and I'm by his side for
the whole thing and Iappreciate him every step of the
way, and if you have someonelike him in your life, I know
you do too, and that does it forme.
Guys, thank you so much forjoining me.
Be back.

(11:50):
Hiblogcom monday, wednesday newblog it's been going on forever.
Hi pod on dad back here nextfriday on every streaming
service.
Go out and pre-order.
Hi world I'm dad.
Uh, how far this can journey,from autism awareness to
acceptance to appreciation.
That is available on amazon.
It's in stores in june, but youcan get it reserved now.

(12:10):
Check it out, I'm really I'm soproud of it, so I really want
you guys to check it out.
Follow me on social media.
Hi, james Gutman.
Hi, james Gutman H-I.
I'll see you guys next time.
Until then, bye, james Gutman.
Saying be well, bye podcast.
I'm out so so I'll see you nexttime.
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