All Episodes

January 24, 2025 13 mins

The conversation focuses on the father-son relationship between James and his son Lucas, who has autism. Through personal anecdotes, James shares the lessons he's learned about understanding autism, fostering connection, and appreciating individuality, while encouraging other parents to embrace their own journeys with hope.

• Discusses the upcoming release of James's book on autism appreciation 
• Reflects on past experiences as a published author 
• Describes challenges in parenting a nonverbal child with autism 
• Highlights moments of joy found in Lucas's unique expressions 
• Dispels common misconceptions about autism portrayed in media 
• Shares how observing Lucas led to deeper understanding and connection 
• Emphasizes the value of acceptance and love in parenting autistic children 
• Mentions progress in their journey as father and son over the years 
• Encourages parents facing similar situations to maintain hope and celebrate progress

Preorder James Guttman’s new book – “Hi World, I’m Dad: How Fathers Can Journey to Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Appreciation”

Follow Us On Facebook and Follow James Guttman on Instagram.

Also, be sure to read the blog that started it all - Hi Blog! I'm Dad.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad, james Gutman.
Folks, it's James Gutman.
It's high pod on dad.
Welcome back to another editionof the podcast.
It is the end of january, it is2025.
I appreciate you joining mehere on high pod on dad.
Every streaming service.

(00:36):
Thank you if you found me there, if you found me on
highpodomdadcom.
I appreciate that as well.
It has been.
It's been a cold week, man,cold, freezing, end of January
kind of cold, but keepingeverything together, moving
forward, a lot of good stuffgoing on.
I'll tell you this, and I'm youknow, as you guys know, I'm
doing kind of a slow rollout ofinformation about the book that

(00:58):
comes out this year.
For those of you guys who don'tknow, I have written and we're
going to be releasing a bookthrough Jessica Kingsley
Publishing.
It is a traditional publisher.
They have a team behind it.
They're putting everythingtogether.
I just actually got a copy ofthe cover today.
They're kind of going throughall these different
possibilities.
I love it, man.
I think you guys will be reallyexcited.

(01:19):
I'll give you all theinformation very soon.
It's kind of weird for me.
I'll tell you why I've written.
Now.
This'll be my, my fourth book.
My first two were about prowrestling, number three was
about pregnancy and number fouris about autism appreciation all
through, again, traditionalpublishers, which is, you know,
I don't have a lot of souldecision-making to make.

(01:42):
You know, there's a team,there's people who do it.
They come to you, they go hey,we have these covers, we have
this, what do you think you pick?
What do you like?
I suggest we work together onthat stuff so you work with all
different kinds of people.
This will be the thirdpublisher that I've worked with
and the other ones, and it'sweird when you kind of work with
them, there's some that arelike don't even mention that

(02:04):
you're doing a book, don't say aword until it's ready to be
released.
I remember this was years andyears ago, very early.
My first book came out in 2006,which, yikes, amazon was brand
new.
I remember it was called WorldWrestling Insanity.
It was a wrestling book.
My first love was wrestling.
I wrote for the magazines, Iworked for the wrestling

(02:26):
companies and, um, when it cameout the internet and everything
was so new that it was, I thinkit was like number five, 60
overall on on Amazon.
It was like pretty crazy and Iremember being like, oh my God,
nobody back then, no oneremembered that, no one kept
track of that.
It's kind of like, well, but isit in Barnes and Noble?
It's like it is in Barnes Noble.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't even know ifthere still is a Barnes Noble
anymore.
Either way, that's what I didback then.

(02:48):
But one of the things I wantedto do is not give out any
information about the book.
The idea was that you know,people are going to go to the
page.
It's not there.
They get confused, they forgetabout it.
Just, I don't know.
For me, I like to get a littlecloser to the, to the date.
At this point it's lookingaround June.
So yeah, man, it's cool, it'sgonna be a big deal.
I'm very excited.
I'm very excited to get to shareLucas and share my, my life

(03:11):
with you.
Guys Tell you stories that youknow I've talked about some of
them here.
Some of them I haven't kind ofgive you kind of a rundown of of
raising this kid.
My son is nonverbal, he hasautism.
I have a daughter who isneurotypical.
She is 16.
So it is difficult things onparenting, two different levels,
but I get to write about Lucasand one of the things about

(03:33):
writing about Lucas so much inthis autism appreciation writing
, is that I get a chance to notonly share him with the world,
explain who he is, tell you allthe wonderful things about him,
tell you why I love him so much.
And it's not again and this iswhat's crazy about it it's not a
situation where I'm sayingthese things just to kind of
like make myself feel better,you know, or try to convince you
of something you know.

(03:54):
Be like, no, no, he really,he's cool, I don't forget you.
Look at him, he's great, myson's fantastic dude.
To the point where at the endof a day, if you're having a
rough day, he's the person youmost want to see.
He smiles, he runs up to you,you get a hug, you get love.
And it's funny too, becausepeople will mistake that and
hear that and think tothemselves oh, he must always be

(04:14):
happy.
He's nonverbal, he's on thespectrum, he's got, you know,
severe autism.
However you want to put it, hemust always be happy and he's
not.
Lucas gets upset about things hedoesn't like, or if he's
unhappy or if he wants something.
But what makes Lucas, what's soamazing in that respect with me
is that he goes away.
If Lucas is unhappy and youmake him happy, suddenly he's

(04:36):
happy.
And I've known people and we'velived in lives where we're not
like that, even ourselves.
You know you're unhappy andthen somebody's like well, here,
have an ice cream.
I know you got the ice creamand you're happy, but you don't
want to be happy.
You want to be mad.
I want to be mad.
Lucas never just wants to bemad.
Lucas is mad for a reason.
Lucas is sad for a reason.
Lucas is angry, you know, andit's always for a reason.

(04:59):
And that's one of the thingsabout him that I'm like kind of
blown away by is that he knowshow to kind of just I don't know
deal with it, get past it, getthrough it.
He's a wonderful kid man.
So at the end of the day, I geta chance to see him and be with
him and I just I don't know, itjust brightens my world.
So I get a chance to explainthat to people.
A lot of that is because ofautism, right, a lot of us are

(05:22):
so deep in our own heads and sooverthinking everything and
trying to figure out everybodyelse's social motivations.
You know, he said that to metoday.
But you know, did you hear him?
He turned to me and he was likeare you going to have another
one of those English muffins?
What the hell does that mean?
Am I going to have anotherEnglish muffin?
What the hell Lucas doesn't dothat.
Lucas just eat your Englishmuffin.
He won't sit there and lamentabout how you offered it to him

(05:45):
wrong or how you thoughtsomething about him.
I don't know, man, lucas, it'son the table.
That's who he is and that'swhat this blog is.
It gives me a chance to do thatfor autism appreciation explain
who he is, let people know howwonderful my son is.
But it's funny because I'venoticed and especially this week
I wrote about how he is myguide to understanding autism,
at least how it affects him, andthe blog was called Guided Into

(06:06):
His World what Lucas Taught MeAbout Autism, right, and I'm
noticing now in these blogs andthis one in particular.
And I'm noticing now in theseblogs and this one in particular

(06:29):
, which was about how I alwaysthought that autism meant A, b
and C, right, like we watch TV.
You watch TV shows and moviesabout autism and you get an idea
of what a child with autismthinking.
That's what it was, and my sonhas not been any of those things
.
But one of the thingsspecifically that I learned
about autism from TV and frommovies is that people with
autism they're just so hard toreach Can't reach them.
You know they're gone.

(06:50):
They're locked behind doors,they're gone.
They're puzzle pieces.
How do you put them together?
I don't know Like it's allthese different things that make
it sound so scary.
And if you are a parent and youhave a new child and your child
is diagnosed, it will scare thehell out of you because you,
like me at the time, would thinkthat you would never have a
relationship with your child.
How am I going to reach thiskid?
And one of the things that Ilearned is that you can.

(07:12):
You just have to know to do it.
You have to know to enter theirworld.
You have to know to play withthe toys inappropriately rather
than correcting them.
You have to know to come overand watch what they're doing.
Why are you pausing that videoat that specific point on
YouTube?
What is it about it that you,like I, did that?
I sat down with Lucas.

(07:33):
He was pausing and unpausing aYouTube video.
I just watch him, I go.
What are you looking for, buddy?
What are you trying to do?
And I'm seeing it's either atransition in the scene, a
character says something,someone pops up in a way that he
thought was funny A lot ofMuppets man, he loves Sesame
Street.
So you'll have like Elmo willpop up and be like you know,

(07:57):
hello, and he'll laugh.
He'll pop my kid, that's awrestling term pop.
He'll get excited, he'll cheerand I'm like, oh, that's what it
is, and it's not so mysteriouswhen you start doing that, when
you start really watching Notthe fact that like, oh, he's not
watching his videos, right,he's just pausing them.
No, no, no.
Why is he doing it?
Because you know what I gotnews for you he is doing it
right, he's doing it right forhim and if you pay attention you
get it.
Same thing with playing withhis toys you know he's playing

(08:21):
with.
The first time I ever sat downwith him and let him know that I
was there and that I understoodhim was when I watched him.
He was taking this little toytelephone on wheels that you're
supposed to pick up and be likehello, hello, and for years.
Not for years, but you'resupposed to pick up and be like
hello, hello.
And for years not for years,but for months he was little.
I would see him playing withthis thing wrong.
I don't know, lucas, this isnot how you do it.
Look, and I pick up thereceiver.
Look, hello, hello, who's?
This?
Is this for Lucas?

(08:49):
Lucas, it's for you.
Hey, here you go.
And he would take it, hang it up.
He would take this on thestring and he would slowly roll
it under the chair, roll it outand watch it in the mirror.
And I'm like what are you doing, bro?
And I sat down next to him.
I go, can I try?
I do, like the whole double tapon my chest and I did it and I
watched it, and he watched mewatch it and he gave me a hug.

(09:10):
And that was the moment.
That was the moment where I waslike this is how you do it.
I can't make him do the thingsthat I want him to do.
I have to understand why hedoes the things that he does and
I got news for you through theyears right, lucas still does
his own thing.
But because I give him thatrespect and I give him that
attention to come over and notcorrect him, but ask him why are

(09:31):
you doing this?
Or seeing why he's doing thethings that he does, that when
it's time for him to do stufffor me, he does it.
If we have to go somewhere, ifwe have to go somewhere boring,
watch his sister perform in someperformance or something, he
does it, and he does it and he'scool about it, and that's
something that I don't know.
I never thought would happen.

(09:53):
So that blog that I wrote thisweek about being guided into his
world was done for a reason.
And it's done because I'mstarting to realize now here we
are, at 13 years old.
I started this blog when he waslike seven, six, seven years
old.
I've watched him grow into allthose things that in the
beginning, when I first wrotethis blog and I used to worry, I

(10:14):
would write about him in a waythat it wasn't about looking
back on how much we've grownBack then we were growing right.
So those early blogs wereconcern and worry and kind of
putting it out there.
I'm thinking this and I'mworried about this and this is
what I noticed.
And now, years later, I'm ableto look back and be like we kind
of made it.
We are at a place where, youknow, I used to fear this age

(10:38):
and now I am happiest now withhim at this age than I ever was
before.
So this blog, in many ways, andthis podcast and the work that
I've done and the upcoming bookthat comes out, they're all done
to not only share him with theworld but also make people worry
a little bit less.
It's not a blog of doom andgloom.

(10:59):
It's not a book of you know howmy life has been so awful ever
since I've had to handle thisand, trust me, man, I have heard
parents of kids like Lucas talkabout their kids in some of the
hardest ways, man.
I've seen TikTok videos andstuff like that of people just

(11:22):
making their kids out to be theworst experience.
And you know what, dude, Idon't know.
I don't know your kid Maybe,maybe it is.
You win right, my kid's great.
And I know there's other peopleout there who are just about to
embark on this journey, who havea child who's two or three
years old who's gettingdiagnosed with autism, four or
five, however, old, who'sgetting diagnosed with autism

(11:44):
and that word is scary and theyare worried about the same
things I worried about whenLucas was little and years later
, all of these so-called worstcase scenarios.
He's never spoken.
There's definite life skillsthat people would be like, oh he
doesn't do that.
No, he doesn't do that.
There's things that I have towork with him on.
There's things that we still doas if he was, you know, a baby

(12:05):
Books, he reads things, he'sinto all these things that if I
could go back in time 10 yearsand tell myself I would be like,
oh my God, that's terrible.
And guess what?
It's not terrible, it's great.
And if you're a parent and youare right now being told that
your child might not speak orthat your child has autism and
you were worrying about thethings that I worried about, I
want you to read my blog, I wantyou to read the book, I want

(12:27):
you to listen to this podcastand I want you to feel a little
bit better and know that, look,100% it might not happen to you.
You might not get you know theawesome kid I got, but you might
right.
So I'll tell you all about it.
It's a good thing.
Thank you guys for listeninghere today, thank you for
listening to me every week,thank you for joining the blogs
on highblogondadcom.

(12:48):
Honestly, god, thank you, justthank you.
This is really one of thehighlight points of my life.
Just thank you.
This is really one of thehighlight points of my life and
I've been very happy to be ableto share it with you guys, and
I've been very happy with allthe work we've done here.
That does it for me Until nextweek.
This is James Gutman saying bewell, bye, pod, I'm dead.
We'll see you next time.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

24/7 News: The Latest

24/7 News: The Latest

The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.

Crime Junkie

Crime Junkie

Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.