August 15, 2025 • 15 mins
What if your child couldn’t speak...but still knew exactly how to make you laugh?
In this heartfelt episode, James Guttman shares the unexpected ways he built a private language of humor with his nonverbal son, Lucas. From early fears about never sharing a laugh to perfectly timed glances and paused songs, this story is a reminder that connection doesn’t need to be spoken. Sometimes, all it takes is a sideways look and a shared moment.
Whether you’re on your own autism journey or just need a reminder of how deep love can go without words, this one’s for you.
It's Here! Get the book – “Hi World, I’m Dad: How Fathers Can Journey to Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Appreciation” on audio, digital, or print.
Follow Us On Facebook and YouTube. Follow James Guttman on Instagram.
Also, be sure to read the blog that started it all - Hi Blog! I'm Dad.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
James Guttman (00:00):
I want apple juice.
Lucas wants apple juice.
I know I heard him say that.
Can I have apple juice?
Yeah, you can have apple juice.
Can I have soda?
Yes, you can have soda.
Can I press that button?
No, you can't press that button.
Why?
Because that's going to playthe theme song.
I'm not ready to start the pot.
(00:30):
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad, james Guttman.
Folks, it's James Guttman, it'sHi Pod, I'm Dad.
Welcome back to another editionof the podcast.
It is mid-August, it's 2025.
It is the 15th.
Thank you guys so much forfinding me anywhere, whether you
(00:51):
found me on a streaming serviceSpotify, iheartradio, something
like that Maybe you're watchingme right now on YouTube at
HiBlogOmDad.
We have our official channel.
All these podcasts go up thereHiPodO, I'm Dad every single
Friday Like subscribe bell.
You know you name it, just doit.
Thank you so much for takingthe time.
I appreciate it.
I got to be honest with you,man.
(01:11):
I'm going to tell you guys alittle inside baseball on this.
So the openings to thesepodcasts, sometimes, especially
since doing the video, get me alittle bit.
I'll tell you why.
I started doing audio updates,as I called them, long before
podcasts, it was before iTunesand all this stuff.
Back in 2003 was my first one,but 2004 was kind of when I
started doing them regularly.
(01:32):
I would do something calledaudio updates that's what we
called them, and I didn't knowhow to start them.
So it was for the pro wrestlingsite.
I'd been doing them for yearsand I would begin them off by
saying what's up guys, jamesGutman, here on Club WWI or
whatever the site was that I wasdoing my podcast for, and that
just became what I did.
That was my intro, that was myopening, because anybody who
(01:54):
does these things can tell youit is difficult sometimes
figuring out how to start thesethings out.
So that was my thing what's upguys?
All the time.
My daughter made fun of me aboutit, olivia, when she was little
.
I remember one time she was inthe living room and she's like
what's up guys?
It's JG Insanity.
How are you?
This is my guest, poopy.
I swear to God, this is almostword for word of what she said.
(02:16):
She's like Poopy, welcome tothe show.
And I'm like what are Liv?
But it stuck in my head, man,the fact that I did that,
because I never realized I didit until she said it.
So I didn't do podcasts for awhile when the wrestling site
closed down and I began the blogand it was about two years
after the blog had startedbefore I started doing these and
(02:37):
I needed an intro and I wasdoing kind of the same thing
again what's up guys, jamesGutman.
But then I started going aroundonline listening to podcasts,
watching video clips, and do youknow who else says what's up
guys, in the very beginning oftheir podcasts?
Freaking, everybody, everybodydoes it.
And I was like, oh, I guess Ican't do that anymore.
(02:58):
It just sounded like everybodyelse so I didn't want to do it.
So if you guys go back about ayear or two into this podcast,
you can actually hear meexperimenting with different
intros and I tried all differentthings of how to do it.
Eventually I settled on what Ido now Folks, james Gutman, hi,
pat, I'm dad.
It's easy, it's simple.
(03:18):
It greets everybody alltogether, gender, neutral, says
my name, all that stuff.
Fantastic, fantastic and Iloved it.
And then I had to film the bookannouncement when the book came
out the first day.
And you guys might remember,it's on tiktok, it's on youtube.
It has a typo on tiktok.
I hate it.
Um, but it was the intro.
(03:39):
It was me, lucas, my daughterwas recording the video and she
was okay, okay, ready, go.
And I went folks, james Gutman.
She goes, stop, cut.
She stops it.
I'm like, what's the matter?
She goes, what is that?
Folks, folks, what is that,folks?
I was like, oh my God.
So I was still doing folks, I'mnot stopping it.
That's how I introduced theshow.
But every time I do it I hearher voice in my head going folks
(04:01):
, folks.
So on that note, folks, jamesGutman.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
I guess you can call that kindof an inside joke that her and I
now have, because I will dothat every once in a while.
It's her folks and she knowswhat I'm talking about and it's
kind of our laughing littlething.
And private jokes are a bigdeal, man.
Private jokes are.
It bonds people, it makes youfind common ground with people,
(04:24):
and especially with your kidsand with your family.
It's important.
It's important to have thesetypes of interactions with each
other, and my son, lucas, isnonverbal.
He has severe autism and when hewas first diagnosed, my biggest
concern was that I was nevergoing to have that type of thing
with him.
Actually, my biggest concernwas that I wouldn't communicate
with him at all.
That was the biggest fear andthere are many things about it
(04:49):
that worried me.
Look, I got the idea thateventually maybe he could use a
device or whatever, and Iunderstood that and we used the
device and we used gestures andthings like that.
But a lot of Lucas'scommunication, amazingly, is
kind of intuition and it's thatface I've always talked about.
It's like having a friend at abusiness meeting across the room
(05:11):
.
All the time.
I could look at Lucas a certainway and he kind of gets it.
If I look at him, I go andhe'll understand what I'm saying
or kind of make a face at him.
He doesn't get every single oneright, he doesn't.
It's not like I can completelycommunicate through my eyes with
him, but he is perceptive whenit comes to how I'm feeling,
based on how I look in themoment, which is something that
(05:33):
and to this day, I talk topeople and they talk about all
kids with autism do this, or allpeople do that, or all kids do
this.
Everybody doesn't do everything.
Okay, there's nothing that's acatch-all for everyone.
And I say this because one ofthe things I was most concerned
about when he was diagnosed wasthat I couldn't read my face.
That's something that they tellyou from the beginning.
(05:54):
They make little flashcards.
This person is happy, thisperson is sad.
Now look, is Lucas an expert atit?
No, does he always know whenI'm happy?
Does he always know when I'msad?
No, he doesn't.
But he knows more than Ithought he would and I'm able to
see him from.
You know, he's in the kitchen,I look over at him, I go.
He knows kind of what I want orhe'll get a joke that way and
(06:15):
that's why I wrote this week.
I wrote about having insidejokes with him and how it's
easier than people might thinkto have inside jokes with my son
.
One of the first times thathappened, I remember I looked up
at him.
He was standing there.
I reached out on the floor topick something up and as I stood
up I kind of locked eyes withhim and he looked back at me and
I was like and he went and weboth broke into hysterics and
(06:36):
that's such a major thing, it'ssuch a big deal, because I
didn't think he could do it.
I didn't think that was goingto happen and that became kind
of part of our overall way ofinteracting with each other.
We have private jokes and wehave things that we do, things
that he knows.
He's in the other room.
I tried to get him to do thispodcast with me.
I was hoping he'd be like Lucas.
(06:57):
I'm assuming I'm going to runinto him.
Lukey Lucas, come here.
Let's see cross fingers.
He might not come.
He might not come, but I wrotethis week about some of the
private jokes that I have withLucas and one of them was one of
my favorites when he was littleand to this day.
You know, we sing all the time.
We sing a lot of Raffi andsongs he's familiar with, and R
(07:18):
Rafi has a song called Rock inmy Shoe.
Might I recall that Maybe it'scalled Rock in my Shoe, but I
would sing the song to him andthis song involves participation
.
So it's like you know there wassomething in my shoe so I took
it off and I shook it.
Well, look it, look it, look it.
You know what fell out.
And then Rafi goes.
You know everybody's supposedto ask I do the entire thing, I
(07:41):
do the ad libs, I do theaudience call outs.
At one point Rafi turns aroundand goes you don't clap there.
And this guy in the audiencegoes.
I laugh.
So whenever Lucas is playing iton his iPad, he comes and runs
and gets me.
He wants me to do it, but hehas to have it kind of on his
terms.
He's not in the mood and I tryto rock in my shoe with him.
He doesn't want to do it.
(08:01):
So we're getting ready forschool one morning and I was
like I was going out for a walk.
I got no further than half ablock and he turns around and
he's trying to get me to stopand I'm like there's something
in my shoe and he turns aroundand takes his hand and he hits
himself in the head and I go ohmy God, oh my God, oh my God,
stop, stop, stop, stop.
I won't sing anymore.
I'll never sing again.
Stop, stop, stop.
Because he was little.
And I'm freaking out Like Idon't even know.
I'm like is this what happens?
(08:22):
Is this what happens?
You know Lucas is not intoself-harm or whatever they call
it.
He doesn't do a lot of that.
But in my head I worry about itbecause it's something they say
with autism.
So of course I don try again.
Getting ready for the morningI'm like, as I was going out for
a walk, I won't do it.
I won't do it, stop hittingyourself in the head.
(08:43):
So then one morning I was likeyou know what, forget this.
So we're getting ready, gettinghis shoes on, and I go as I was
going out for a walk, and helooks at me, he's getting all
ready, and I go, I got nofurther.
And I go, then half a and I hitmyself in the head just like
that.
And I went like that and I fellon the floor and he thought it
(09:04):
was the funniest thing he hadever seen.
He loved it.
He was laughing, I was.
I was blown away because Ididn't think he would get it.
I didn't think he would knowwhat was happening, to the point
where he's taking my hand.
He's trying to put my hand backon my head.
So I would do it again.
That was the first kind ofinside joke, private joke, that
I have with Lucas.
Where he gets it, I get it.
Somebody else seeing it wouldbe like why did the dad hit
himself in the head?
He'd say you had to be there.
(09:26):
Lucas and I were there.
We get it.
There have been other times too, man.
I mean, that's one shared pieceof humor.
One of my favorite ones wasbecause he didn't react in a
huge way.
A lot of Lucas's humor revolvesaround physical comedy, right.
So there's a lot of.
You know, if I hit myself inthe head, he thinks it's funny,
or I tickle him, he thinks it'sfunny.
(09:46):
There was one day he was on hisiPad and, as you guys know, he
starts and stops his YouTubevideos all the time, right, so
he was playing it and he wasstarting it and stopping it over
and over again.
I think it was Twinkle Twinkle.
I'm going to say, for the sakeof this podcast, it was Twinkle,
twinkle, little Star, and he'sstarting and stopping and
starting and stopping and I waslike, no, lucas, this is a good
(10:11):
song, stop, no, no, no, we wantto hear it.
Let's listen to the song.
This is an old song.
Tried to get him to maybelisten to it a little button.
I'm like come on.
I'm like twinkle, twinkle,little star, the whole thing.
And then finally we get to theend and they're playing the
music and I go how, I wonderwhat you?
And just as I did that, hepressed it and he paused and I
go how, I wonder what.
You and I went and I hung myhead defeated.
(10:34):
I swear to God this kid.
He looks over at me with a sideeye, like this, and he goes to
this day.
It is one of the mostunexpected things he ever did.
And, um, yeah, man, it's partof the bigger picture.
So if you're one of theseparents and I say these things
for a reason I'd like to tellyou guys about Lucas.
(10:55):
I'll tell you about the thingswe do.
I'll tell you about how happywe are.
He's 14,.
We have come up together and wehave bonded in ways that I
didn't think were going to bepossible.
We have gotten to know eachother in ways that I thought was
impossible.
For a kid like him, a nonverbalboy with autism, I didn't think
it was possible to have jokesand share these things with them
, and we've been able to do it.
I say these things because Iknow that that is a fear that
(11:21):
parents like me have and we'reafraid to verbalize it.
I was afraid to verbalize it.
If you came to me in the verybeginning, when he was little,
when he was first diagnosed orfirst seeing the signs that he
might have autism, I didn't talkabout this kind of stuff.
People would be like oh, he'sfine, he's all right, he's not
talking yet.
No, well, what's he saying is?
He's not saying anything.
He's not saying anything yet.
(11:41):
That's all I would do.
But I wouldn't turn to peopleand be like I'm afraid I'll
never be able to communicate.
I'm afraid we'll never sharehumor together.
I'm afraid that he'll never getme.
I'm afraid that I'm never goingto be able to interact with my
son.
And I've learned that I can andI do, and I'm so happy about
this and I'm so proud of it.
(12:02):
But I also am so eager to shareit with other people who are
maybe fearing the same thing,because I know how scared I was
then and I know how few times Iheard anything other than
terrible news.
Man, people would come to me,whether it's a professional or a
doctor or a teacher, and it wasalways this it wasn't always
(12:25):
worst case scenario, but it wasalways like the things that were
bad were real, they weretangible, he's not going to do
this, he's not going to do that.
And the things that were goodwere always kind of like well,
maybe.
So it was kind of like the goodparts were up in the air and
the worst parts were reality,and it took a little while of
living it, having him in ourhome, figuring out what autism
(12:48):
meant to us, figuring out whatautism was, before we realized
that a lot of the things that wethought were so bad, that were
definitely happening, didn'thappen, and a lot of the things
that we were told might nothappen, that were good, they did
happen.
And, on top of it too, ben,like, a lot of the things that
we thought were going to be badand did happen ended up not
being that bad.
(13:08):
My son is 14.
He doesn't have a word at all,doesn't say one word.
Verbally have a word.
He has devices, he has gestures, he has different things he
does, but he's nonverbal.
He's got a lot of life skillsthat he doesn't do, things that
I would have hoped by 14 hewould do by now, things that I
know and this is I can't be anymore honest with you guys than
(13:30):
this Things that I know.
If I could go back in time andtell myself back in 2013, 2014,.
Hey, lucas isn't going to dothis and he isn't going to do
this and he isn't going to dothis, I would have thought it
was the end of the world and thefact that I sit here now,
positive, happy, telling youguys that we have a great life
together, that speaks volumes,because I'm not coming to you
(13:53):
going life is great because myson ended up doing all these
great things.
No, I'm coming to you andtelling you that life is great
even though we didn't do thesethings.
Life is great because I love myson and he's here and he's a
part of our lives and, yeah,there's been a lot of things
that I thought couldn't happen.
That did, and I'm proud of that.
(14:15):
I'm happy to tell you guys thatand, hopefully, if you're
listening to this and you're oneof those parents in that same
position, you're getting it,you're hearing me, you're
understanding and maybe youdon't have to worry as much as
you think you do.
You just have to live and whereyou go, you go and that's it.
I talk about all this, guys, onthe blog highblogomdadcom Monday
, wednesday.
I got new blogs.
I talked about that this week.
(14:37):
I talked about different topicsthis week Every single Monday
and Wednesday.
Brand new blogs, podcasts everyFriday.
And don't forget, right hereHigh World, I'm Dad.
It is the book about autismappreciation.
It is available in paperback,it's available digital.
It's also available as an audiobook.
So if you like my melodic tones, well then you can hear them
right there on the audio book.
(14:58):
It's available on Spotify,audible, you name it, it's there
.
Guys, this has been tremendous.
Do me a favor, follow me onsocial media.
Hi, james Gutman, I'meverywhere TikTok, instagram
Threads, you name it.
Facebook, find me, I'll hangout.
That does it for me Until nexttime, james Gutman saying be
well, he never came out.
Bye pod, I'm done, I'll see younext time.
I want apple juice.
Lucas wants apple juice.
I know I heard him say that.
Can I have apple juice?
Yeah, you can have apple juice.
Can I have soda?
Yes, you can have soda.
Can I press that button?
No, you can't press that button.
Why?
Because that's going to playthe theme song.
I'm not ready to start the pot.
(00:30):
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad, james Guttman.
Folks, it's James Guttman, it'sHi Pod, I'm Dad.
Welcome back to another editionof the podcast.
It is mid-August, it's 2025.
It is the 15th.
Thank you guys so much forfinding me anywhere, whether you
(00:51):
found me on a streaming serviceSpotify, iheartradio, something
like that Maybe you're watchingme right now on YouTube at
HiBlogOmDad.
We have our official channel.
All these podcasts go up thereHiPodO, I'm Dad every single
Friday Like subscribe bell.
You know you name it, just doit.
Thank you so much for takingthe time.
I appreciate it.
I got to be honest with you,man.
(01:11):
I'm going to tell you guys alittle inside baseball on this.
So the openings to thesepodcasts, sometimes, especially
since doing the video, get me alittle bit.
I'll tell you why.
I started doing audio updates,as I called them, long before
podcasts, it was before iTunesand all this stuff.
Back in 2003 was my first one,but 2004 was kind of when I
started doing them regularly.
(01:32):
I would do something calledaudio updates that's what we
called them, and I didn't knowhow to start them.
So it was for the pro wrestlingsite.
I'd been doing them for yearsand I would begin them off by
saying what's up guys, jamesGutman, here on Club WWI or
whatever the site was that I wasdoing my podcast for, and that
just became what I did.
That was my intro, that was myopening, because anybody who
(01:54):
does these things can tell youit is difficult sometimes
figuring out how to start thesethings out.
So that was my thing what's upguys?
All the time.
My daughter made fun of me aboutit, olivia, when she was little
.
I remember one time she was inthe living room and she's like
what's up guys?
It's JG Insanity.
How are you?
This is my guest, poopy.
I swear to God, this is almostword for word of what she said.
(02:16):
She's like Poopy, welcome tothe show.
And I'm like what are Liv?
But it stuck in my head, man,the fact that I did that,
because I never realized I didit until she said it.
So I didn't do podcasts for awhile when the wrestling site
closed down and I began the blogand it was about two years
after the blog had startedbefore I started doing these and
(02:37):
I needed an intro and I wasdoing kind of the same thing
again what's up guys, jamesGutman.
But then I started going aroundonline listening to podcasts,
watching video clips, and do youknow who else says what's up
guys, in the very beginning oftheir podcasts?
Freaking, everybody, everybodydoes it.
And I was like, oh, I guess Ican't do that anymore.
(02:58):
It just sounded like everybodyelse so I didn't want to do it.
So if you guys go back about ayear or two into this podcast,
you can actually hear meexperimenting with different
intros and I tried all differentthings of how to do it.
Eventually I settled on what Ido now Folks, james Gutman, hi,
pat, I'm dad.
It's easy, it's simple.
(03:18):
It greets everybody alltogether, gender, neutral, says
my name, all that stuff.
Fantastic, fantastic and Iloved it.
And then I had to film the bookannouncement when the book came
out the first day.
And you guys might remember,it's on tiktok, it's on youtube.
It has a typo on tiktok.
I hate it.
Um, but it was the intro.
(03:39):
It was me, lucas, my daughterwas recording the video and she
was okay, okay, ready, go.
And I went folks, james Gutman.
She goes, stop, cut.
She stops it.
I'm like, what's the matter?
She goes, what is that?
Folks, folks, what is that,folks?
I was like, oh my God.
So I was still doing folks, I'mnot stopping it.
That's how I introduced theshow.
But every time I do it I hearher voice in my head going folks
(04:01):
, folks.
So on that note, folks, jamesGutman.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
I guess you can call that kindof an inside joke that her and I
now have, because I will dothat every once in a while.
It's her folks and she knowswhat I'm talking about and it's
kind of our laughing littlething.
And private jokes are a bigdeal, man.
Private jokes are.
It bonds people, it makes youfind common ground with people,
(04:24):
and especially with your kidsand with your family.
It's important.
It's important to have thesetypes of interactions with each
other, and my son, lucas, isnonverbal.
He has severe autism and when hewas first diagnosed, my biggest
concern was that I was nevergoing to have that type of thing
with him.
Actually, my biggest concernwas that I wouldn't communicate
with him at all.
That was the biggest fear andthere are many things about it
(04:49):
that worried me.
Look, I got the idea thateventually maybe he could use a
device or whatever, and Iunderstood that and we used the
device and we used gestures andthings like that.
But a lot of Lucas'scommunication, amazingly, is
kind of intuition and it's thatface I've always talked about.
It's like having a friend at abusiness meeting across the room
(05:11):
.
All the time.
I could look at Lucas a certainway and he kind of gets it.
If I look at him, I go andhe'll understand what I'm saying
or kind of make a face at him.
He doesn't get every single oneright, he doesn't.
It's not like I can completelycommunicate through my eyes with
him, but he is perceptive whenit comes to how I'm feeling,
based on how I look in themoment, which is something that
(05:33):
and to this day, I talk topeople and they talk about all
kids with autism do this, or allpeople do that, or all kids do
this.
Everybody doesn't do everything.
Okay, there's nothing that's acatch-all for everyone.
And I say this because one ofthe things I was most concerned
about when he was diagnosed wasthat I couldn't read my face.
That's something that they tellyou from the beginning.
(05:54):
They make little flashcards.
This person is happy, thisperson is sad.
Now look, is Lucas an expert atit?
No, does he always know whenI'm happy?
Does he always know when I'msad?
No, he doesn't.
But he knows more than Ithought he would and I'm able to
see him from.
You know, he's in the kitchen,I look over at him, I go.
He knows kind of what I want orhe'll get a joke that way and
(06:15):
that's why I wrote this week.
I wrote about having insidejokes with him and how it's
easier than people might thinkto have inside jokes with my son
.
One of the first times thathappened, I remember I looked up
at him.
He was standing there.
I reached out on the floor topick something up and as I stood
up I kind of locked eyes withhim and he looked back at me and
I was like and he went and weboth broke into hysterics and
(06:36):
that's such a major thing, it'ssuch a big deal, because I
didn't think he could do it.
I didn't think that was goingto happen and that became kind
of part of our overall way ofinteracting with each other.
We have private jokes and wehave things that we do, things
that he knows.
He's in the other room.
I tried to get him to do thispodcast with me.
I was hoping he'd be like Lucas.
(06:57):
I'm assuming I'm going to runinto him.
Lukey Lucas, come here.
Let's see cross fingers.
He might not come.
He might not come, but I wrotethis week about some of the
private jokes that I have withLucas and one of them was one of
my favorites when he was littleand to this day.
You know, we sing all the time.
We sing a lot of Raffi andsongs he's familiar with, and R
(07:18):
Rafi has a song called Rock inmy Shoe.
Might I recall that Maybe it'scalled Rock in my Shoe, but I
would sing the song to him andthis song involves participation
.
So it's like you know there wassomething in my shoe so I took
it off and I shook it.
Well, look it, look it, look it.
You know what fell out.
And then Rafi goes.
You know everybody's supposedto ask I do the entire thing, I
(07:41):
do the ad libs, I do theaudience call outs.
At one point Rafi turns aroundand goes you don't clap there.
And this guy in the audiencegoes.
I laugh.
So whenever Lucas is playing iton his iPad, he comes and runs
and gets me.
He wants me to do it, but hehas to have it kind of on his
terms.
He's not in the mood and I tryto rock in my shoe with him.
He doesn't want to do it.
(08:01):
So we're getting ready forschool one morning and I was
like I was going out for a walk.
I got no further than half ablock and he turns around and
he's trying to get me to stopand I'm like there's something
in my shoe and he turns aroundand takes his hand and he hits
himself in the head and I go ohmy God, oh my God, oh my God,
stop, stop, stop, stop.
I won't sing anymore.
I'll never sing again.
Stop, stop, stop.
Because he was little.
And I'm freaking out Like Idon't even know.
I'm like is this what happens?
(08:22):
Is this what happens?
You know Lucas is not intoself-harm or whatever they call
it.
He doesn't do a lot of that.
But in my head I worry about itbecause it's something they say
with autism.
So of course I don try again.
Getting ready for the morningI'm like, as I was going out for
a walk, I won't do it.
I won't do it, stop hittingyourself in the head.
(08:43):
So then one morning I was likeyou know what, forget this.
So we're getting ready, gettinghis shoes on, and I go as I was
going out for a walk, and helooks at me, he's getting all
ready, and I go, I got nofurther.
And I go, then half a and I hitmyself in the head just like
that.
And I went like that and I fellon the floor and he thought it
(09:04):
was the funniest thing he hadever seen.
He loved it.
He was laughing, I was.
I was blown away because Ididn't think he would get it.
I didn't think he would knowwhat was happening, to the point
where he's taking my hand.
He's trying to put my hand backon my head.
So I would do it again.
That was the first kind ofinside joke, private joke, that
I have with Lucas.
Where he gets it, I get it.
Somebody else seeing it wouldbe like why did the dad hit
himself in the head?
He'd say you had to be there.
(09:26):
Lucas and I were there.
We get it.
There have been other times too, man.
I mean, that's one shared pieceof humor.
One of my favorite ones wasbecause he didn't react in a
huge way.
A lot of Lucas's humor revolvesaround physical comedy, right.
So there's a lot of.
You know, if I hit myself inthe head, he thinks it's funny,
or I tickle him, he thinks it'sfunny.
(09:46):
There was one day he was on hisiPad and, as you guys know, he
starts and stops his YouTubevideos all the time, right, so
he was playing it and he wasstarting it and stopping it over
and over again.
I think it was Twinkle Twinkle.
I'm going to say, for the sakeof this podcast, it was Twinkle,
twinkle, little Star, and he'sstarting and stopping and
starting and stopping and I waslike, no, lucas, this is a good
(10:11):
song, stop, no, no, no, we wantto hear it.
Let's listen to the song.
This is an old song.
Tried to get him to maybelisten to it a little button.
I'm like come on.
I'm like twinkle, twinkle,little star, the whole thing.
And then finally we get to theend and they're playing the
music and I go how, I wonderwhat you?
And just as I did that, hepressed it and he paused and I
go how, I wonder what.
You and I went and I hung myhead defeated.
(10:34):
I swear to God this kid.
He looks over at me with a sideeye, like this, and he goes to
this day.
It is one of the mostunexpected things he ever did.
And, um, yeah, man, it's partof the bigger picture.
So if you're one of theseparents and I say these things
for a reason I'd like to tellyou guys about Lucas.
(10:55):
I'll tell you about the thingswe do.
I'll tell you about how happywe are.
He's 14,.
We have come up together and wehave bonded in ways that I
didn't think were going to bepossible.
We have gotten to know eachother in ways that I thought was
impossible.
For a kid like him, a nonverbalboy with autism, I didn't think
it was possible to have jokesand share these things with them
, and we've been able to do it.
I say these things because Iknow that that is a fear that
(11:21):
parents like me have and we'reafraid to verbalize it.
I was afraid to verbalize it.
If you came to me in the verybeginning, when he was little,
when he was first diagnosed orfirst seeing the signs that he
might have autism, I didn't talkabout this kind of stuff.
People would be like oh, he'sfine, he's all right, he's not
talking yet.
No, well, what's he saying is?
He's not saying anything.
He's not saying anything yet.
(11:41):
That's all I would do.
But I wouldn't turn to peopleand be like I'm afraid I'll
never be able to communicate.
I'm afraid we'll never sharehumor together.
I'm afraid that he'll never getme.
I'm afraid that I'm never goingto be able to interact with my
son.
And I've learned that I can andI do, and I'm so happy about
this and I'm so proud of it.
(12:02):
But I also am so eager to shareit with other people who are
maybe fearing the same thing,because I know how scared I was
then and I know how few times Iheard anything other than
terrible news.
Man, people would come to me,whether it's a professional or a
doctor or a teacher, and it wasalways this it wasn't always
(12:25):
worst case scenario, but it wasalways like the things that were
bad were real, they weretangible, he's not going to do
this, he's not going to do that.
And the things that were goodwere always kind of like well,
maybe.
So it was kind of like the goodparts were up in the air and
the worst parts were reality,and it took a little while of
living it, having him in ourhome, figuring out what autism
(12:48):
meant to us, figuring out whatautism was, before we realized
that a lot of the things that wethought were so bad, that were
definitely happening, didn'thappen, and a lot of the things
that we were told might nothappen, that were good, they did
happen.
And, on top of it too, ben,like, a lot of the things that
we thought were going to be badand did happen ended up not
being that bad.
(13:08):
My son is 14.
He doesn't have a word at all,doesn't say one word.
Verbally have a word.
He has devices, he has gestures, he has different things he
does, but he's nonverbal.
He's got a lot of life skillsthat he doesn't do, things that
I would have hoped by 14 hewould do by now, things that I
know and this is I can't be anymore honest with you guys than
(13:30):
this Things that I know.
If I could go back in time andtell myself back in 2013, 2014,.
Hey, lucas isn't going to dothis and he isn't going to do
this and he isn't going to dothis, I would have thought it
was the end of the world and thefact that I sit here now,
positive, happy, telling youguys that we have a great life
together, that speaks volumes,because I'm not coming to you
(13:53):
going life is great because myson ended up doing all these
great things.
No, I'm coming to you andtelling you that life is great
even though we didn't do thesethings.
Life is great because I love myson and he's here and he's a
part of our lives and, yeah,there's been a lot of things
that I thought couldn't happen.
That did, and I'm proud of that.
(14:15):
I'm happy to tell you guys thatand, hopefully, if you're
listening to this and you're oneof those parents in that same
position, you're getting it,you're hearing me, you're
understanding and maybe youdon't have to worry as much as
you think you do.
You just have to live and whereyou go, you go and that's it.
I talk about all this, guys, onthe blog highblogomdadcom Monday
, wednesday.
I got new blogs.
I talked about that this week.
(14:37):
I talked about different topicsthis week Every single Monday
and Wednesday.
Brand new blogs, podcasts everyFriday.
And don't forget, right hereHigh World, I'm Dad.
It is the book about autismappreciation.
It is available in paperback,it's available digital.
It's also available as an audiobook.
So if you like my melodic tones, well then you can hear them
right there on the audio book.
(14:58):
It's available on Spotify,audible, you name it, it's there
.
Guys, this has been tremendous.
Do me a favor, follow me onsocial media.
Hi, james Gutman, I'meverywhere TikTok, instagram
Threads, you name it.
Facebook, find me, I'll hangout.
That does it for me Until nexttime, james Gutman saying be
well, he never came out.
Bye pod, I'm done, I'll see younext time.
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