Episode Transcript
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James Guttman (00:14):
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad, james Gutman.
Folks, it's James Gutman, hiPod, I I'm dad.
Welcome back to another editionof the podcast.
I appreciate you, uh, checkingus out on audible, spotify,
anywhere you find podcasts.
This is where you find thishighpodondadcom all the archives
(00:38):
dating back to 2019.
Maybe you found me on youtube.
You can see see me atHiBlogI'mDad.
Tons of great content, tons ofgreat stuff to share with you,
thank you.
Thank you so much for all yoursupport.
Thank you for I don't know manjust making life grand, and it's
been really good.
So I appreciate all the support.
I hesitate to say perfect, andthere's a reason why.
(01:01):
And if you readhighblogomdadcom, where all the
blogs have been going up Monday,wednesday, every week since
February of 2017.
This week I wrote a blog aboutit.
That it's kind of funny becauseat first I wasn't even
expecting to write a blog thisweek.
I had kind of a busy week.
I'm like, should I writesomething?
I don't know?
And it's getting closer andcloser on Tuesday kind of a you
(01:24):
know, burning the midnight oil,as they say getting closer and
closer to the release date ofthe blog and I'm like you know
what I'm going to write.
Whatever's in my head, we'llsee what happens and take you
behind the scenes a little bit.
Whenever I write these blogs, Ialways do them either the day
before or maybe two days before.
At most.
It's very rare that I writesomething in advance.
So when I do these blogs, I sitdown, I start writing about
(01:47):
whatever's in my head and insome cases it's a struggle.
The goal is to do 900 words.
That's the idea.
Sometimes a little less,sometimes a little more.
You don't want to be toostringent on how many words
there are, but when I used towrite for Cameo come here, bud,
say hi.
Who are you voting for?
Vote for Pedro.
Guys, it's Lucas.
Come down and say hi, come down, look, look.
(02:09):
Can you see Hi?
All right, if you're on YouTube, you can see Lucas right now,
which is fantastic.
So get on YouTube.
But what I'm saying is I sitdown.
My goal is to write 900 words.
Right, when I used to write formagazines I wrote for Pro
Wrestling, illustrated differentwrestling magazines the goal
was always 900 words.
That was considered an article.
So when I first started doingthe blog, that was the idea 900
(02:32):
words.
So if I sit down and I startwriting and I get to like 400
and I feel done, I throw it out,which I think sounds insane.
And if you knew how many thingsI've deleted, that I've written
like almost the full thing of,you would be surprised, because
I know that it's a topic thatmaybe I don't have enough for.
(02:53):
Maybe it's something that couldbe useful elsewhere, in another
topic I'm talking about.
But every once in a while I'llsit down, I'll start writing and
I'll be surprised by howquickly I'm like like just the
words come out and just thethings I have to say come out.
And that's what happened thisweek.
It was Tuesday.
I sat down, I said, let me seeif I'm going to write something,
and I started writing aboutLucas, and a lot of the writing
(03:15):
that I do is kind of stream ofconsciousness Whatever's in my
head, get it out, get it on thekeyboard.
And as I was writing about him,my goal was to write about an
angle on being a dad with my son, and that's fine.
I don't even remember what theoriginal angle was, but it
wasn't this, and what it turnedinto was an idea of what perfect
(03:40):
means.
Lucas is perfect Kid you justmet is perfect.
(04:05):
No-transcript he get.
I don't know, I didn't getgrades Okay.
Well, what sports is he in?
Doesn't really do sports,although yesterday I tried to
record it too he and I startedplaying the basketball game.
Downstairs in my basement Ihave one of those arcade
basketball things and that wassweet.
(04:28):
It was funny.
At first he was just kind oflike he just drops it.
I'm like, oh, buddy, take hishand, kind of throw it up there
getting him to do it, but I'mnot doing it to get him to win a
basketball tournament.
We're not doing Teen Wolf orwhatever.
Basketball thing is moreapropos now it's Air Bud or
whatever.
I don't know what basketballmovies are anymore and a lot of
my references are from the 80s.
So forgive me, but we did it,we played basketball, we did
(04:51):
that.
But that's not what makes himperfect.
He's not the perfect basketballplayer and, to be honest with
you, I don't think he likes itat all.
So we're not jumping on that.
Perfect is not a thing thateveryone decides, right, and
that's the whole idea.
Nobody's perfect.
I get it and I get why peoplesay it, because to them perfect
means flawless.
It means every single box ischecked.
(05:13):
Everything wonderful abouttheir lives is wonderful, but to
me, perfect is a case to casebasis.
It's what I personally view asperfection, or somebody who
perfectly fits into my life, andin that respect Lucas is
perfect.
Lucas is perfect because themost important things to me he
does.
You know, it's not reallyimportant to me if you could
(05:34):
sing or if you could do math orif you can write something.
I don't care about any of thatstuff.
To me, what makes you perfectis being a good person, it's
treating others well, it's to beloving and caring and
understanding and just somebodywho brings light into my life.
That's what is perfect to me.
(05:56):
That you start thinking like,yeah, no, I get it, I feel the
same way, but it's really whatelse is there?
Because, if not for mydefinition of perfect, nothing
is perfect.
I agree with you Nobody isperfect.
When I was a kid, I had a bookcalled Nobody is Perfect, right,
and it was purposely spelledwrong and it was cute and it was
tongue in cheek and it's tocombat that idea that I think a
(06:20):
lot of kids have and a lot ofpeople have.
That kind of keeps you chasingthis idea of perfection for so
long.
So they go nobody's perfect,don't worry about it.
Just do you, do you?
What I'm saying is everybody'sperfect to somebody.
Everybody's perfect to somebodywho cares about them and loves
them.
I love my son and I care aboutLucas, and to me, lucas is
(06:44):
perfect.
He fits perfectly into my life.
He plays the perfect role of ason.
The things that make himspecial and beautiful make him
perfect to me.
So I wrote about it and it feelsgood to write about it.
It feels good to write aboutautism appreciation, like I did
in High World I'm Dad bookavailable on Amazon.
(07:07):
I do not oversell this to you,so forgive me, I forget about it
.
Sometimes I'm like, oh, Ishould sell this book.
It's on Amazon, it's everywhere, it's an audio book, it's all
across the world.
If you get a chance to listento it, to read it, you will hear
what I have to say Autismappreciation, which is what I
write about and what the blog isabout.
What the podcast is about andwhat the book is about is the
(07:29):
idea that there are beautifulthings about this kid's
personality.
Come here, buddy, I'm talkingabout you.
You're going to tell meeverything that show everybody
how to use this.
What do you want?
This is when he asked me, for Ibet you it's food.
Let's see if it's food.
I bet you it's food.
Go ahead, bud, do it.
What do you got here?
What is it?
Watch, this fake food.
(07:52):
I want pizza.
You can't let me do he.
Just, he just ate.
He just ate.
Um, yeah, but you'll get,you'll, okay.
Um, we'll give him pizza afterwe're done.
We're just a few minutes.
Hey, just wait one second, bud.
We'll be all done in a second,I promise.
Um, I'm probably not gonna givehim pizza.
It's getting ridiculous.
Um, but the idea is, uh, thereare parts of of Lucas's
(08:15):
personality that are beautifulbecause of autism, the fact that
he doesn't have an ego, thefact that he doesn't try to talk
me in circles, the fact that hedoesn't try to hide anything,
and when he does, it's soobvious what he's doing.
He doesn't even try to hide itat all.
I'll walk into a room and he'strying to get a cookie he's not
supposed to be getting, andhe'll just stop there holding it
.
I go room and he's trying toget a cookie he's not supposed
(08:35):
to be getting and he'll juststop there holding it.
I go what are you doing, bud?
And he goes.
That's what he's done.
If you're listening.
You missed it.
I was just doing a slow motionmovement of a cookie to his
mouth.
Yeah, lucas does not.
He's not a bs-er, if that's theright term.
I'm not gonna curse needlessly,but he's not.
With lucas, what you see iswhat you get and what.
What you see is fantastic.
He's a great kid.
So I write about autismappreciation.
(08:56):
I write about how he's perfectand I know that there are people
out there that think I'm justkidding myself.
You know, oh, this is a dad whoended up with a nonverbal kid
and he's just trying to make thebest of it and he's got all
these things to worry.
And people will come back to metoo and they'll be like you
just think it because you don'thave to do this for him and you
don't have to worry about thatfor him.
I worry about everything withLucas A lot of the missteps, a
(09:23):
lot of the missed milestonesthat people associate with
profound and severe autism.
That's in our life.
There's a lot of things I dofor my son that by 14, people
have long since abandoned doingfor their kids.
Lucas requires work on my partas his dad to help him, to show
him, to teach him.
Buddy, I've saved your life,like five times today, and he'll
(09:57):
actively be crying and fightingme to run back into the street
back then.
It was a tough, toughupbringing, but you get the idea
.
So all these things happen, allthese things are a part of our
lives and yet still I appreciateand I tell you how perfect he
is and it's not kidding myselfand it's not making up a story
and it's not a silver lining.
My son is perfect because I gethim.
(10:22):
What you see is what you getwith Lucas.
You know he is who he is.
He's not duplicitous, hedoesn't hide his intentions.
I mean it's complicitous.
He doesn't hide his intentions.
I mean he is a breath of freshair in a world of smog.
I can't even begin to explainit.
And that's my goal and that'swhy I do these podcasts and
(10:45):
that's why I do the blog andthat's why I wrote the book
available on Spotify, audiobook,all that stuff.
I want to share it with theworld.
I don't feel like enough peoplereally know it.
I feel like people get it, theythink they get it and then
sometimes they don't.
And I understand that sometimesand I'll write a blog about him
(11:05):
, but I, wonderfully, is how.
I wouldn't change him foranything.
And some of the comments arelike, oh, praying for you,
they'll find a cure.
And it sucks because I don'twant to get offended by it and I
don't.
And you want to tell yourselfthis person's coming from a good
place.
I get it.
But there's a voice in my headwhen I read that that goes you
got more work to do, you got tohelp people understand.
(11:28):
Because if you knew this kid, Imean you'd get it.
You'd be like, oh, there's alot to deal with.
But I feel like everybody is alot to deal with.
I've been around people who area lot to deal with, who don't
have the loving and just, kindand beautiful nature that my son
does.
So, yeah, lucas is perfect inevery possible way.
(11:48):
He's a perfect kid for me and Idon't know, I hesitate to say
it but I feel like I'm theperfect dad for him and because
of that we've been lucky and Ihave the exact same situation
with his sister Perfect, perfectEverywhere.
It's been such a pleasure to beable to tell you guys that and
show you that and write about itand talk about it, and I can't
(12:11):
thank you enough for allowing meto do that.
So thank you for checking usout.
Thank you for subscribing.
Do me a favor, tell yourfriends, tell everybody you know
about this blog whether theyhave a child who's on the
spectrum, whether they don't.
Maybe they have a special needskid.
Maybe they have a kid his age.
They have a kid older.
I love when I hear from peoplewith children like Lucas who are
older than him.
(12:31):
I heard from a woman this weekon Facebook her daughter's 42.
And I flashed forward ahead inmy brain and imagine what's he
going to be like at that age andit helps me the same way I hope
I help others.
So share it, tell people aboutit and come back each and every
week Monday, wednesday,highblogomdadcom.
(12:52):
Brand new blogs,highpodomdadcom and every
streaming service YouTube athighblogomdadcom.
Brand new blogs,highpodomdadcom and every
streaming service YouTube athighblogomdad every Friday.
Social media hijamesgutman HI.
Come on, not hijamesgutman,hijamesgutman.
That's on TikTok, it's onInstagram, it's on.
You know you name it, it'sthere.
We're everywhere except for X.
I appreciate all the supportyou guys are shown and, if you
(13:16):
get a chance, hi World, I'm Dad.
Available on audio, digitalpaperback book.
Anywhere you find books,anywhere you stream audio books,
it's there too.
This has been a wonderfuljourney, guys.
Thank you so much for checkingme out this week.
I will see you next week.
Until then, this is JamesGuttman saying be well, bye-bye,
I'm done.
I'll see you next time.