My Son With Autism Is More Than Just What People See

Ever wondered what pure, unfiltered humanity looks like? My son Lucas shows me every day. Through the lens of raising a nonverbal child with autism, I've discovered something remarkable about human connection that I never expected to find.

Most people see limitations when they look at someone like Lucas. Politicians make sweeping statements about what autism is, focusing on what's missing rather than what's present. But they're missing the extraordinary gifts hiding in plain sight. Lucas communicates his desires more clearly without words than many people do with thousands of them. There's no social game-playing, no hidden agendas—just pure, authentic expression.

What makes Lucas truly exceptional isn't just how he communicates, but who he is at his core. When he discovers joy in something—even a YouTube video he's watched hundreds of times—his excitement eclipses nearly anything I experience. And what does he do with that joy? He shares it with everyone around him, tapping strangers on the shoulder to include them in his happiness. He feels emotions deeply, loves unconditionally, and lives without the burden of caring what others think about him. He'll never bully anyone. He'll never be intentionally cruel. In many ways, he embodies exactly what I'd hope for in any child.

The journey from hearing "autism" for the first time to where we are today has transformed me completely. The "worst-case scenarios" I feared have come true, yet here we are, living our best life together. That's why I wrote "Hi World, I'm Dad"—to show others that the autism journey holds unexpected treasures for those willing to see beyond society's narrow understanding. Pre-order my book now on Amazon, follow me on social media @HiJamesGutman, and join me every Friday for new podcast episodes where we continue exploring this extraordinary journey together.

Preorder James Guttman’s new book – “Hi World, I’m Dad: How Fathers Can Journey to Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Appreciation”

Follow Us On Facebook and Follow James Guttman on Instagram.

Also, be sure to read the blog that started it all - Hi Blog! I'm Dad.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad.
James Gutman Folks.
James Gutman, just hi dad, he'smy dad.
James gutman folks, jamesgutman, I'm pot on, dad.
Welcome back to another editionof the podcast.
It is another friday, it iswell, it is mid-april, it is
2025.

(00:34):
Thank you so much for takingthe time to check me out any
streaming service we're there,like subscribe, all that good
stuff, hypodomdad Archives upthere for the world to see and,
of course, hiblogi'mdadcom.
That is the blog that startedit all.
Twice a week, every week, sinceFebruary of 2017, which does

(00:56):
not feel like so long ago, butit is so long ago and I thank
you guys so much for giving methe opportunity to talk to you
about my son.
He's nonverbal, he has autism.
Tell you about who he is, someof the qualities that make him
one of the purest souls I'veever known, and that is not an
exaggeration, that is not alevel of I don't know man.

(01:18):
I think sometimes people hearthat and they don't really get
what it means, and I say thisbecause there was a time that I
didn't have Lucas in my life andI wouldn't have gotten what it
means.
I understand those who aren'tin my family those who can't
really grasp the positives ofhaving someone like him in my

(01:38):
life, but it's very real and Ithink sometimes, when people
think about it enough and theystart to project it into their
own lives, they can see it.
I deal with people all the time.
We all do right Every day, atwork, at a play, whatever you
are, people are being people andpeople have the same kind of
basic instincts.
They want to get what they want.

(02:00):
Sometimes they talk aroundthings.
There's a lot to figure outwhen it comes to dealing with
people.
With Lucas, there is not a lotto figure out, which is ironic
because when he was little, Ithought he was going to be the
hardest person in the world tofigure out because he has no
words.
He's nonverbal.
How do I understand what thiskid wants?
I will tell you this with nowords.

(02:20):
My son can tell me what hewants quicker than some people
with a million words.
There's no games with Lucas.
We don't go back and forth onlike you know.
Do you want this snack?
Yeah, do you want it?
I don't know, maybe.
And that goes on with all of us.
I do it, you do it, we all havepeople who do it.

(02:42):
Lucas doesn't do it verystraightforward I want that
cookie, all right, that's it.
And now, as he's gotten olderand he's found new ways to ask
for it, whether it's through histablet, which I love when he
does that, by the way, I know Italk a lot about the gestures.
I'll take you by the hand, I'llbring you over to the pantry,
I'll kind of throw my hand uptowards the cookies, but I'll

(03:04):
say I to him, I'll go dude, whatdo you want, why?
And I'll go over to the deviceand he'll clear it out.
He always clears it out.
He has to start from the mainmenu and exit, exit, exit.
And he just presses the buttonand goes cookie, you gotta go.
All right, I laugh and helaughs and we're laughing and
he's eating cookies and it's agreat old time for everybody
involved.

(03:24):
And that's one of the manyreasons why I don't know.
Just having my, my son, in mylife is refreshing.
It's a different dose ofhumanity that I'm used to
getting all day than any of usare used to getting.
And what's crazy is that theone-dimensional ways that some

(03:46):
people see him whether it'spoliticians and all this stuff
that's out there right now inthe mainstream, all the
boogeyman stuff about autismthat's going on lately.
People want to tell you whatautism is.
They want to put a name on it.
They want to take the mostbasic things they observe about
my son and say them out loud.
He's not going to be on a date,he's going to need assistance
for the rest of his life All thethings that my son deals with.

(04:11):
There's people out there who areoffended by some of the things
that were said about autismbecause it doesn't reflect them.
Like, that's not me.
Why would he say that?
Well, a lot of the things thatwere said do reflect my son, but
it doesn't fully reflect him.
You're pointing out the mostobvious things, the things that
you can see from across the room.
Oh, he doesn't really, you know, socialize.

(04:34):
Oh, he's not going to get toplay football or baseball or
whatever the hell you want toplay.
You don't know this kid.
I know him.
He's a good person.
He cares, he gives back, heloves.
He's real.
There's no ego or cruelty.
He's just a good person.
He cares and he's sincere.

(04:55):
I don't know anyone who feelsemotions as strongly as my son
does.
He gets more excited.
I've said this a million timeshe gets more excited over the
same YouTube videos that he'sseen over and over and over
again than I do about almostanything in the world.
And when he gets excited, whatdoes he want to do?
He wants to share that witheverybody.
He'll come over to me, he'lltap me, he laughs, he claps but

(05:16):
not just me, he goes up toeverybody.
I wrote about that this week,about how he's the most
accepting person I know, becausehe'll walk up to a stranger who
just came into the room and tapthem and give them a smile like
hey, are you hearing this videothat I'm watching?
He shares the love that he haswith everybody else.
When he gets upset, he getsupset.
It's amazing.

(05:38):
I'll turn to him and he'sputting his shoes on or
something.
I go, luke, hurry up, come on,get your shoes on.
Tears are coming, whoa, whoa,whoa, whoa.
What is happening?
Stop, calm down, all right,take a breath.
Take a breath.
He feels things.
He knows who he is and for thatI respect him and I gotta be
honest with you.

(05:58):
There's a I envy him in someways that he's able to live
without caring what anybodythinks one of the biggest things
that bothers me about peoplewho are mean and cruel to people
like my son is that not only isit a low-hanging fruit like
what do you, what are you doing?
Why would you make fun of thesepeople who literally do nothing
to anyone?
But Lucas doesn't even know,you know, he doesn't register it

(06:22):
, he's.
So I don't know.
I don't think he understandsthat that exists, that people
are just jerks to each other forno reason, because he'll never
be a jerk to you for no reason.
Maybe he's overwhelmed, he'stired, whatever Gets cranky, but
he's not.
He's not ever just like oh, I'mgoing to go pick on, he doesn't

(06:42):
do that.
Man, holy cow.
And as a dad I can say that,right, we don't think about that
.
We think, oh, his kid doesn'ttalk and his kid doesn't do
these things.
My kid doesn't bully anybody.
My kid shows love andappreciation.
My kid has all of thepersonality traits that I would

(07:02):
want my son to have.
Is it exactly the way I picturedit before he was born?
No, but honestly, man, like,are any of our kids really the
exact way we pictured them?
Anyway, I know a lot of peopleout there.
I don't really get them.
I don't know what he does inthe Pokemon.
You know that kind of stuff weall have, that we have
disconnects.
I have a daughter.
I have a neurotypical daughter.
There are moments where I'mjust like who the hell is this

(07:24):
kid?
I have that with her.
She has a million words, she'snot nonverbal, so at the end of
the day, like I, don't you seethe good that they have to offer
, and in the case of my son, Ireally didn't have to look that
deeply.
What made it sweeter was thefear that I had before all of

(07:46):
this came out, hearing the wordautism out loud, thinking about
what that meant for my family.
I was scared, I was worried andin the end it ended up being
almost the flip side theopposite of everything that I
worried about ended up comingtrue, and for that reason alone,
it's a sweeter thing todiscover this, to see this, to
realize that this is a personthat I have in my life, and

(08:08):
that's why I do what I do.
Right For everybody who talksabout people like my son, for
everybody who goes out therewith these preconceived notions
that aren't true about my son.
My goal is to do this podcastand the blog and to write my
book High World I'm Dad howFathers Can Journey from Autism
Awareness to Acceptance andAppreciation.
I do this so that I can tellpeople about him, explain who he

(08:32):
is, and that's why I've alwayssaid like you can't take lessons
from my writing and that thatlight, what works for me a
hundred percent might not workfor another parent, but there's
little pieces that might be ableto work for you.
And even if none of that worksfor you, check this out.
This is my kid.
If you don't have a nonverbalperson in your life, if you
don't have someone with autism,severe autism, whatever, this is

(08:54):
one of them.
And he's amazing and the fearsthat I had were real.
They're the same as anyone elsewho has a newborn, anyone else
who's beginning the autismjourney.
I had the exact same fears thateverybody else had and a lot of
the things that I said tomyself had to come true, didn't?
A lot of the quote, unquoteworst case scenarios came true.

(09:15):
And here he and I are livingour best life.
It's amazing and I'm gratefulfor the opportunity to live it,
I'm grateful for the opportunityto tell you guys about it and
I'm grateful for all of youtuning in, checking it out,
picking up the book High WorldI'm Dad on Amazon Grab it
pre-order.
It's out in June.
Thank you for following me onsocial media.

(09:37):
Hi, james Gutman, h-i.
James Gutman being back hereevery single Friday.
Hipodi'mdadcom new podcast,wherever pods are casted.
Hi blog I'm Dad Monday,wednesday and that'll do it for
me this week.
Guys, until next week.
This is James Gutman saying bewell, bye, pod, I'm done.
I'll see you next time.