August 29, 2025 • 15 mins
This week’s co-host doesn’t say a word, but his presence says everything.
James sits down with his son Lucas, a non-verbal teenager with autism, for a special episode. With the help of Pirate Booty, duck noises, and an AAC device, Lucas shows listeners what communication looks like when it’s completely authentic. Whether it’s asking for water or no-selling a dad joke, nothing Lucas does is performative and that honesty has become one of James’s greatest parenting lessons.
You’ll hear about real moments: a silly game that’s only funny when Lucas says it is, how years of practice lead to a single successful request on a talker, and the deep frustration of strangers assuming they know your child better than you do. This is more than a podcast episode, it’s a window into trust, growth, and fatherhood that doesn't need subtitles.
See The Show Here on YouTube: https://youtu.be/jcTwR72r_k4
Subscribe: https://youtube.com/@hiblogimdad
It's Here! Get the book – “Hi World, I’m Dad: How Fathers Can Journey to Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Appreciation” on audio, digital, or print.
Follow Us On Facebook and YouTube. Follow James Guttman on Instagram.
Also, be sure to read the blog that started it all - Hi Blog! I'm Dad.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad, james Gutman.
Folks James Gutman here on HiPod pot.
I'm dad and I'm joined by myco-host, lucas, who was in the
background, bored and somewhatannoyed.
But he's here, and he's herefor one reason and one reason
(00:37):
only, and it's bribery.
I don't think anybody who has aboy like mine, lucas, is
non-verbal, he has autism, so alot of times, as he knows, we
don't really we don't bargain.
He's kind of easy to deal withand I know that Pirate Booty
kind of does the trick.
And it's funny because one ofthe things I'm thinking about,
(00:57):
I'm putting this thing together.
Right, I want to have my buddyhere, I want him to be here.
He does these little guestappearances once in a while
where he pops up and he'll showup for the podcast.
But I'm like you know what, Ireally want my guy to be a part
of this, you know.
So I bring out the snacks, Ibring out the pirate booty, I
bring out all this stuff, andthen I think to myself I'm not
(01:19):
really supposed to do that,right, because what ends up
happening is there's so manytimes and he knows right Trying
to get him off the school bussometimes is a little difficult
to deal with, and you don'talways want to make it about
pirate booty.
You don't always want to makeit about a snack to give him,
because you know you expandright.
How are you doing, buddy?
Is that good?
(01:39):
Yeah, see, totally.
And I will say this One of thereasons why I did it here today
is that I know that this doesn'tinterest him.
People have asked me about Lucasand whether you know the
podcast and advocacy and thingslike that.
Lucas is cool in that he likeswhat he likes, and that's one of
the things that I love abouthaving a boy like him.
(02:01):
I've learned about autismappreciation.
I've learned about the way hekind of sees the world in terms
of what he wants, things hewants to do, things that he
likes.
Like Lucas loves Pirate Brody,Lucas loves me and that's kind
of the most important thing andit's funny, one of the other
reasons I wanted to have himhere this week too.
And before anything, guys, ifyou're seeing me on YouTube, you
(02:21):
can see it.
If not, you're listening to it.
This might be a confusingepisode, so I apologize, but do
yourself a favor, go to YouTube.
The channel is atHighBlogI'mDad.
You can watch all of thearchives of all of these shows
and kind of see how we interact,the things that we talk about.
But, as you know, we also writethe blog and every Monday and
every Wednesday I write aboutRaising Lucas.
(02:42):
I wrote this week about autism,siblings and my daughter and
how she interacts with my son aswell.
But I wrote about something onMonday that was one of those
things that made me glad we havethe podcast.
We're going to show them, right,buddy?
It was the whole idea of theduck noise.
At one point early on, whenLucas was little, I learned that
he really thought this onething was funny, and I'm going
(03:04):
to show you what it is.
And here's the thing, here'sthe beauty of it.
It's either going to be greatYou're either going to be like
that was so cute oh my God lovedit or you're going to be like
that dude looks ridiculous,because you never really know if
he's going to sell it.
Now I'm just quickly explainwhat sell means.
It's a wrestling term.
It means that if you getignored, sell means it's a
wrestling term.
It means that if you getignored, you're being no-sold,
(03:24):
like they're not selling it.
Selling is kind of selling witha reaction and um, are you
getting stuff over?
So we're gonna try it, we'regonna see.
This is exactly what happened.
I made a duck noise and then Ipretended to look for a duck and
he thought it was funny.
Sit, buddy, sit, sit.
Do you want more Sit?
Do you want more Sit?
Hang on, I got everything man Iloaded up.
(03:46):
He hasn't had lunch, so don'tjudge me.
He hasn't had lunch yet.
So here's what we did we'regoing to show them a duck.
Did you hear the duck?
Hey, listen, do you hear it?
Ah, duck, is there a duck?
(04:07):
Okay, great, and there you go.
That's that's what happens,dude.
Sometimes he loves it, sometimesit's his favorite thing, and
there's no worse than being likethis is my son's favorite thing
, he loves this thing.
You gotta see what he does.
And then, uh, he's just notinto it.
But one of the things aboutabout having a boy like mine
that I love is that kind of hedoes things on his own terms.
There's, no, there's nothingfake about my son.
(04:28):
My son is purely Lucas.
He doesn't even this right.
So I did this duck joke withhim, where I made the noise and
he jumps and we laugh and welove it and he knows that I love
it.
But at no point is he ever likeI'm going to fake it just to
make this guy happy, which somepeople do, and then they'll turn
around to you a month later andbe like I never even liked the
(04:50):
duck noise.
I did that for you.
He doesn't do that.
There's none of that.
If Lucas laughs, it's becauseLucas wants to laugh, right,
buddy?
If Lucas gives me a kiss, it'sbecause he wants to give me a
kiss.
Hey, show everybody.
I'm going to show you guys thistoo.
This is something I've talkedabout.
I've been doing it since he wasan infant and we're going to
show you right now the one thing.
Let's show them the one thing.
Remember, when he was little andhe was an infant and I was
(05:11):
changing him, the one thing Itaught him.
I took his hand and I would askhim one question and I would
make him tap himself and to thisday, he Tell them who does
daddy love?
Who does daddy love?
Yes, I do See, and that's all Ineed.
What do you want Tell me?
Use your device, you want totell me something?
Of course we have the talkerhere, so we get a lot of
(05:33):
gestures and stuff.
You want a cookie?
You ate the cookie.
You want more cookie?
Just wait, I'll give youcookies after.
You want crackers?
You want crackers?
What is it?
Do you know what it is?
I don't think I've ever askedabout crackers.
No, no, but this is a cracker.
Do you know a cracker?
What you got?
(05:53):
Crackers.
And close, let's say it's not amuffin.
I'm gonna show you, bud.
I always try to do this too,like when we, when I show him
new stuff that we don't usuallyeat or do things with, I like to
show him how it works.
I like to show him what theword is buddy, here.
This is what he wants.
(06:13):
Scroll down what's so far here,and this is cracker.
You want a Cracker?
Cracker.
You want a cracker?
I'll hook you up with a cracker.
So that's another thing too.
And it's Before anything.
Forgive me for the show being alittle disjointed this week.
I didn't tell you to like andsubscribe.
I didn't tell you about thebook Hi World, I'm Dad.
(06:35):
I didn't tell you about.
I did tell you about the blog,but barely this week.
One of the things I reallywanted to do is I wanted to give
you guys a real view of who heis and what we do and how we
interact.
And I think one of the thingsyou can see because it's a
question that I get a lot islike how do you guys talk, how
do you guys communicate?
Does he have a device?
And he does, he has a device,but it's almost secondary, like
(06:56):
we use it when we use it.
I try to remember it.
I've talked to a lot of parentsin the same kind of situation.
I go does he have a device?
And they're like, yeah, butlike you know, when we remember
and it's something that you know, you beat yourself up about, I
think most parents who have anykids, there's things that you
should be doing for your kidsthat you think about and you're
like well, I haven't done him upfor this sport or I didn't, you
(07:18):
know, contact his teacher aboutwhatever.
And when it comes to Lucas andkids who are nonverbal, a lot of
times and a lot of the parentsI talk to, it's about not really
using the device.
I'm pouring water, by the way,in case you're listening to this
on Spotify and you think I'mpeeing.
I'm not, and I want him to beable to use this device.
I want it to be second to usethis device.
(07:39):
I want it to be second naturewith this.
You want some water?
Want a drink?
Ask, ask for a drink.
You want this.
How do you ask for this?
What would you say?
Water, show me water.
Thanks food, eating utensils no, there you go.
Thanks food, drink this Water.
(08:00):
Good job, buddy See.
Drink this water.
Good job, buddy see.
And that's what I think is thebeauty of when he does stuff
like that.
I get to high five.
It's a major thing around hereand I get excited and I think
there was a time where really Ididn't think he'd ever be able
to ask me for anything.
A lot of the stuff with him wasguessing.
We used to guess all the time.
So even now, although we wedon't really do this all that
much, it's not a lot of usingthe device.
The device itself is such amajor, major change for a lot of
(08:22):
stuff and it gives me kind ofthat hope down the line that
when I'm not here anymore, he'llbe able to talk to people,
he'll be able to share what hewants.
He'll be heard.
Right, that's what you want.
I want people to hear him, Iwant people to know him and I
want people to understand himand I don't know if you could
hear it.
It's getting picked up on this.
This is one of my favoritethings he does.
You want the iPad?
Hey, ask, ask, ask, ask, askfor it here, ask Even this, even
(08:49):
getting his fun YouTube iPad.
We use the device.
We ask for it.
Go ahead, ask what do you wantThings?
Toys you got it.
What toy?
What is this iPad?
That's for the iPad Bam.
Oh, let me turn it on for you.
(09:10):
Hold on, I'm going to give himthis and then we'll go back to
our regularly scheduled program.
I like him being able to ask mefor things.
I like the fact that he feelscomfortable.
I like the fact that we're ableto communicate with each other.
Is it perfect?
No, does he understandeverything?
No, have I had people try toconvince me otherwise?
(09:34):
Yeah, I've had peoplearrogantly.
I'm going to be honest with you, man.
It's arrogant.
If you come to somebody who hasa kid who's nonverbal and you
lecture them about what your kidknows and what he doesn't know,
that's arrogance.
I know what my son knows,surprisingly.
I mean, look, don't get mewrong, there's things.
Every once in a while he'll popout and he'll have something
that he knows and it'll surpriseme.
I'll be like oh, I didn't knowthat Lucas doesn't know that
(09:59):
Lucas can't spell, lucas can'tnecessarily count, but Lucas
knows me, he knows what he wants, he knows certain things and I
don't know.
It's important, and that's oneof the things that kind of
annoys me sometimes as a parentto a nonverbal child, is the
amount of times people try totell me what he knows or they
(10:19):
try to tell me like and I'llwrite about this eventually I
kind of held off on it but I'mgoing to I was at an event once
where they were trying to sellme on a program for kids who are
nonverbal, a program I didn'tnecessarily believe in, one that
involved him like being able tospell and being able to know
things, and I tried to explainto the saleswoman, or whatever
(10:41):
the hell she was trying to tellme, that he can do it.
She's like, oh, he should dothis and I go.
He doesn't really know how tospell, that I know.
And she looks at me and shegoes he knows so much more than
you think he does.
This woman didn't know my son,and when I say didn't know my
son, I mean she had been aroundus for 30 seconds when she
looked at me and said that shedidn't know who I was.
(11:02):
I could have been a doctor.
I could have been a blogger Idon't know if that's not a big
deal.
I could have been anything.
She had no idea.
I would never, as a writerabout autism, even autism
appreciation I would never be sobold as to lecture anybody
about what their kid can andcan't do, because you want to
know what.
All kids are different, whetherthey're on the spectrum or
(11:23):
whether they're not, and youhave no right to tell anybody
else what their kids can do.
They know or they don't, but ifthey don't, that's up to them
to figure out.
You don't tell them that.
So that's why it's importantfor me today to kind of show you
guys a little bit.
I write about him.
I know people have questions.
Sometimes it's easier just tokind of see how it goes down.
But this is my guy and on topof it, a little inside baseball.
(11:46):
Take you guys behind the scenes.
I've been kind of fretting aboutdoing this podcast, this
particular episode, for a while.
I've been trying to set it up.
I've been trying to get thingstogether, set it up how he's
going to sit, where we're goingto be, what set it up, how he's
going to sit, where we're goingto be, what we're going to do.
The food was a last minute kindof idea where I'm like I'm not
(12:07):
going to feed him lunch, I'lljust bring, I'll bring snacks in
for him, like that.
I didn't want him to be on hisdevice the whole time because,
as you can see a lot of hispictures, he's on his ipad, he's
on his device and, um, as aparent, you know, especially to
a young child, you tell yourselfmy kid's not going to be on the
iPad all day, screen time, he'sonly going to have three hours
of screen time.
And then life comes along andyou have a kid who's nonverbal,
(12:28):
with autism, and the one thinghe loves.
The one thing he loves is thatdevice.
Once in a while I pick up oneof his board books or a doll,
like he has a scout, you know,doll dog that talks to him.
He likes that dog that talks tohim, he likes that.
But for the most part, the iPador that's the fire tablet,
whatever the tablet is, isnumber one with a bullet and
(12:49):
everything else is just likemassively, massively.
In second, third, fourth place,first place is that device.
So I don't like to take it awayfrom him, I don't like to not
let him have it, but I alsodidn't want him to be on it the
entire time we were doing this.
So, you know, as his dad, I gotto figure out what do I set up?
And I've written about that too, about packing bags everywhere
(13:10):
we go and making sure we havesnacks, making sure we have, you
know, a change of clothes,because I always joke that he
can make crumbs out of water.
He could be drinking a glass ofwater.
I go, where'd you make crumbsfrom?
He's able to uh, to get it allover himself.
He comes home from school andhe's just covered in I don't
know lunch.
I don't know what the hell itis, but yeah, so I, uh, I want
(13:31):
him to eat, I want him to bearound us, but I also don't want
to make that kind of the crutchthat we do.
I wanted to uh to showcase him,but that's the reason why I had
the food here today.
Yeah, I apologize If thisepisode is a little off.
I apologize.
This is a big kind of leap offaith.
I'm really glad that I cametogether.
Well, I'm glad that you couldsee my son.
(13:52):
I'm glad that I could share himwith you more.
I'm glad that you guys allow mekind of to post more videos.
If you get a chance, go toTikTok, right?
I don't?
I never thought I'd say this.
I never thought I'd say thisbecause I don't do TikTok.
I'm not like I don't do thatand I thought that's what TikTok
was for the longest time.
I'm like TikTok is just dancingin front of like a Starbucks
(14:13):
order I don't know what the hellit was.
So I've been posting videos ofLucas on TikTok and it's been
doing really well.
Where people are liking it,whether it's a, you know, a
montage, whether it's a kind ofa trailer for this podcast, or
the one that's doing really wellis just him simply asking for a
cookie with this device,because it's a big deal.
I don't think enough people seeit and it's kind of the norm in
(14:34):
our house and I think sometimeswe forget that, that it's not
the norm for everybody.
So thank you for letting meshare that, thank you for
letting me share this episodeand thank you for taking the
time to listen.
Do me a favor.
Wherever you found me, likesubscribe, hit a bell.
Whatever you got to do.
I'm on Spotify, audibleeverywhere.
Hipod, I'm dadcom every singleFriday, as well as YouTube.
At HiBlog I'm dad that's ourchannel every single Friday, the
(14:58):
episode is posted with a video.
We got you know.
Hi blog, I'm dadcom, monday,wednesday.
Social media Hi, james Gutman.
It's everywhere, folks,everywhere.
Thank you so much for takingthe time.
Until next week, james Gutman,saying be well.
Oh, for Lucas as well, sayingbe well, bye, pot, I'm dad,
we'll see you next time.
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad, james Gutman.
Folks James Gutman here on HiPod pot.
I'm dad and I'm joined by myco-host, lucas, who was in the
background, bored and somewhatannoyed.
But he's here, and he's herefor one reason and one reason
(00:37):
only, and it's bribery.
I don't think anybody who has aboy like mine, lucas, is
non-verbal, he has autism, so alot of times, as he knows, we
don't really we don't bargain.
He's kind of easy to deal withand I know that Pirate Booty
kind of does the trick.
And it's funny because one ofthe things I'm thinking about,
(00:57):
I'm putting this thing together.
Right, I want to have my buddyhere, I want him to be here.
He does these little guestappearances once in a while
where he pops up and he'll showup for the podcast.
But I'm like you know what, Ireally want my guy to be a part
of this, you know.
So I bring out the snacks, Ibring out the pirate booty, I
bring out all this stuff, andthen I think to myself I'm not
(01:19):
really supposed to do that,right, because what ends up
happening is there's so manytimes and he knows right Trying
to get him off the school bussometimes is a little difficult
to deal with, and you don'talways want to make it about
pirate booty.
You don't always want to makeit about a snack to give him,
because you know you expandright.
How are you doing, buddy?
Is that good?
(01:39):
Yeah, see, totally.
And I will say this One of thereasons why I did it here today
is that I know that this doesn'tinterest him.
People have asked me about Lucasand whether you know the
podcast and advocacy and thingslike that.
Lucas is cool in that he likeswhat he likes, and that's one of
the things that I love abouthaving a boy like him.
(02:01):
I've learned about autismappreciation.
I've learned about the way hekind of sees the world in terms
of what he wants, things hewants to do, things that he
likes.
Like Lucas loves Pirate Brody,Lucas loves me and that's kind
of the most important thing andit's funny, one of the other
reasons I wanted to have himhere this week too.
And before anything, guys, ifyou're seeing me on YouTube, you
(02:21):
can see it.
If not, you're listening to it.
This might be a confusingepisode, so I apologize, but do
yourself a favor, go to YouTube.
The channel is atHighBlogI'mDad.
You can watch all of thearchives of all of these shows
and kind of see how we interact,the things that we talk about.
But, as you know, we also writethe blog and every Monday and
every Wednesday I write aboutRaising Lucas.
(02:42):
I wrote this week about autism,siblings and my daughter and
how she interacts with my son aswell.
But I wrote about something onMonday that was one of those
things that made me glad we havethe podcast.
We're going to show them, right,buddy?
It was the whole idea of theduck noise.
At one point early on, whenLucas was little, I learned that
he really thought this onething was funny, and I'm going
(03:04):
to show you what it is.
And here's the thing, here'sthe beauty of it.
It's either going to be greatYou're either going to be like
that was so cute oh my God lovedit or you're going to be like
that dude looks ridiculous,because you never really know if
he's going to sell it.
Now I'm just quickly explainwhat sell means.
It's a wrestling term.
It means that if you getignored, sell means it's a
wrestling term.
It means that if you getignored, you're being no-sold,
(03:24):
like they're not selling it.
Selling is kind of selling witha reaction and um, are you
getting stuff over?
So we're gonna try it, we'regonna see.
This is exactly what happened.
I made a duck noise and then Ipretended to look for a duck and
he thought it was funny.
Sit, buddy, sit, sit.
Do you want more Sit?
Do you want more Sit?
Hang on, I got everything man Iloaded up.
(03:46):
He hasn't had lunch, so don'tjudge me.
He hasn't had lunch yet.
So here's what we did we'regoing to show them a duck.
Did you hear the duck?
Hey, listen, do you hear it?
Ah, duck, is there a duck?
(04:07):
Okay, great, and there you go.
That's that's what happens,dude.
Sometimes he loves it, sometimesit's his favorite thing, and
there's no worse than being likethis is my son's favorite thing
, he loves this thing.
You gotta see what he does.
And then, uh, he's just notinto it.
But one of the things aboutabout having a boy like mine
that I love is that kind of hedoes things on his own terms.
There's, no, there's nothingfake about my son.
(04:28):
My son is purely Lucas.
He doesn't even this right.
So I did this duck joke withhim, where I made the noise and
he jumps and we laugh and welove it and he knows that I love
it.
But at no point is he ever likeI'm going to fake it just to
make this guy happy, which somepeople do, and then they'll turn
around to you a month later andbe like I never even liked the
(04:50):
duck noise.
I did that for you.
He doesn't do that.
There's none of that.
If Lucas laughs, it's becauseLucas wants to laugh, right,
buddy?
If Lucas gives me a kiss, it'sbecause he wants to give me a
kiss.
Hey, show everybody.
I'm going to show you guys thistoo.
This is something I've talkedabout.
I've been doing it since he wasan infant and we're going to
show you right now the one thing.
Let's show them the one thing.
Remember, when he was little andhe was an infant and I was
(05:11):
changing him, the one thing Itaught him.
I took his hand and I would askhim one question and I would
make him tap himself and to thisday, he Tell them who does
daddy love?
Who does daddy love?
Yes, I do See, and that's all Ineed.
What do you want Tell me?
Use your device, you want totell me something?
Of course we have the talkerhere, so we get a lot of
(05:33):
gestures and stuff.
You want a cookie?
You ate the cookie.
You want more cookie?
Just wait, I'll give youcookies after.
You want crackers?
You want crackers?
What is it?
Do you know what it is?
I don't think I've ever askedabout crackers.
No, no, but this is a cracker.
Do you know a cracker?
What you got?
(05:53):
Crackers.
And close, let's say it's not amuffin.
I'm gonna show you, bud.
I always try to do this too,like when we, when I show him
new stuff that we don't usuallyeat or do things with, I like to
show him how it works.
I like to show him what theword is buddy, here.
This is what he wants.
(06:13):
Scroll down what's so far here,and this is cracker.
You want a Cracker?
Cracker.
You want a cracker?
I'll hook you up with a cracker.
So that's another thing too.
And it's Before anything.
Forgive me for the show being alittle disjointed this week.
I didn't tell you to like andsubscribe.
I didn't tell you about thebook Hi World, I'm Dad.
(06:35):
I didn't tell you about.
I did tell you about the blog,but barely this week.
One of the things I reallywanted to do is I wanted to give
you guys a real view of who heis and what we do and how we
interact.
And I think one of the thingsyou can see because it's a
question that I get a lot islike how do you guys talk, how
do you guys communicate?
Does he have a device?
And he does, he has a device,but it's almost secondary, like
(06:56):
we use it when we use it.
I try to remember it.
I've talked to a lot of parentsin the same kind of situation.
I go does he have a device?
And they're like, yeah, butlike you know, when we remember
and it's something that you know, you beat yourself up about, I
think most parents who have anykids, there's things that you
should be doing for your kidsthat you think about and you're
like well, I haven't done him upfor this sport or I didn't, you
(07:18):
know, contact his teacher aboutwhatever.
And when it comes to Lucas andkids who are nonverbal, a lot of
times and a lot of the parentsI talk to, it's about not really
using the device.
I'm pouring water, by the way,in case you're listening to this
on Spotify and you think I'mpeeing.
I'm not, and I want him to beable to use this device.
I want it to be second to usethis device.
(07:39):
I want it to be second naturewith this.
You want some water?
Want a drink?
Ask, ask for a drink.
You want this.
How do you ask for this?
What would you say?
Water, show me water.
Thanks food, eating utensils no, there you go.
Thanks food, drink this Water.
(08:00):
Good job, buddy See.
Drink this water.
Good job, buddy see.
And that's what I think is thebeauty of when he does stuff
like that.
I get to high five.
It's a major thing around hereand I get excited and I think
there was a time where really Ididn't think he'd ever be able
to ask me for anything.
A lot of the stuff with him wasguessing.
We used to guess all the time.
So even now, although we wedon't really do this all that
much, it's not a lot of usingthe device.
The device itself is such amajor, major change for a lot of
(08:22):
stuff and it gives me kind ofthat hope down the line that
when I'm not here anymore, he'llbe able to talk to people,
he'll be able to share what hewants.
He'll be heard.
Right, that's what you want.
I want people to hear him, Iwant people to know him and I
want people to understand himand I don't know if you could
hear it.
It's getting picked up on this.
This is one of my favoritethings he does.
You want the iPad?
Hey, ask, ask, ask, ask, askfor it here, ask Even this, even
(08:49):
getting his fun YouTube iPad.
We use the device.
We ask for it.
Go ahead, ask what do you wantThings?
Toys you got it.
What toy?
What is this iPad?
That's for the iPad Bam.
Oh, let me turn it on for you.
(09:10):
Hold on, I'm going to give himthis and then we'll go back to
our regularly scheduled program.
I like him being able to ask mefor things.
I like the fact that he feelscomfortable.
I like the fact that we're ableto communicate with each other.
Is it perfect?
No, does he understandeverything?
No, have I had people try toconvince me otherwise?
(09:34):
Yeah, I've had peoplearrogantly.
I'm going to be honest with you, man.
It's arrogant.
If you come to somebody who hasa kid who's nonverbal and you
lecture them about what your kidknows and what he doesn't know,
that's arrogance.
I know what my son knows,surprisingly.
I mean, look, don't get mewrong, there's things.
Every once in a while he'll popout and he'll have something
that he knows and it'll surpriseme.
I'll be like oh, I didn't knowthat Lucas doesn't know that
(09:59):
Lucas can't spell, lucas can'tnecessarily count, but Lucas
knows me, he knows what he wants, he knows certain things and I
don't know.
It's important, and that's oneof the things that kind of
annoys me sometimes as a parentto a nonverbal child, is the
amount of times people try totell me what he knows or they
(10:19):
try to tell me like and I'llwrite about this eventually I
kind of held off on it but I'mgoing to I was at an event once
where they were trying to sellme on a program for kids who are
nonverbal, a program I didn'tnecessarily believe in, one that
involved him like being able tospell and being able to know
things, and I tried to explainto the saleswoman, or whatever
(10:41):
the hell she was trying to tellme, that he can do it.
She's like, oh, he should dothis and I go.
He doesn't really know how tospell, that I know.
And she looks at me and shegoes he knows so much more than
you think he does.
This woman didn't know my son,and when I say didn't know my
son, I mean she had been aroundus for 30 seconds when she
looked at me and said that shedidn't know who I was.
(11:02):
I could have been a doctor.
I could have been a blogger Idon't know if that's not a big
deal.
I could have been anything.
She had no idea.
I would never, as a writerabout autism, even autism
appreciation I would never be sobold as to lecture anybody
about what their kid can andcan't do, because you want to
know what.
All kids are different, whetherthey're on the spectrum or
(11:23):
whether they're not, and youhave no right to tell anybody
else what their kids can do.
They know or they don't, but ifthey don't, that's up to them
to figure out.
You don't tell them that.
So that's why it's importantfor me today to kind of show you
guys a little bit.
I write about him.
I know people have questions.
Sometimes it's easier just tokind of see how it goes down.
But this is my guy and on topof it, a little inside baseball.
(11:46):
Take you guys behind the scenes.
I've been kind of fretting aboutdoing this podcast, this
particular episode, for a while.
I've been trying to set it up.
I've been trying to get thingstogether, set it up how he's
going to sit, where we're goingto be, what set it up, how he's
going to sit, where we're goingto be, what we're going to do.
The food was a last minute kindof idea where I'm like I'm not
(12:07):
going to feed him lunch, I'lljust bring, I'll bring snacks in
for him, like that.
I didn't want him to be on hisdevice the whole time because,
as you can see a lot of hispictures, he's on his ipad, he's
on his device and, um, as aparent, you know, especially to
a young child, you tell yourselfmy kid's not going to be on the
iPad all day, screen time, he'sonly going to have three hours
of screen time.
And then life comes along andyou have a kid who's nonverbal,
(12:28):
with autism, and the one thinghe loves.
The one thing he loves is thatdevice.
Once in a while I pick up oneof his board books or a doll,
like he has a scout, you know,doll dog that talks to him.
He likes that dog that talks tohim, he likes that.
But for the most part, the iPador that's the fire tablet,
whatever the tablet is, isnumber one with a bullet and
(12:49):
everything else is just likemassively, massively.
In second, third, fourth place,first place is that device.
So I don't like to take it awayfrom him, I don't like to not
let him have it, but I alsodidn't want him to be on it the
entire time we were doing this.
So, you know, as his dad, I gotto figure out what do I set up?
And I've written about that too, about packing bags everywhere
(13:10):
we go and making sure we havesnacks, making sure we have, you
know, a change of clothes,because I always joke that he
can make crumbs out of water.
He could be drinking a glass ofwater.
I go, where'd you make crumbsfrom?
He's able to uh, to get it allover himself.
He comes home from school andhe's just covered in I don't
know lunch.
I don't know what the hell itis, but yeah, so I, uh, I want
(13:31):
him to eat, I want him to bearound us, but I also don't want
to make that kind of the crutchthat we do.
I wanted to uh to showcase him,but that's the reason why I had
the food here today.
Yeah, I apologize If thisepisode is a little off.
I apologize.
This is a big kind of leap offaith.
I'm really glad that I cametogether.
Well, I'm glad that you couldsee my son.
(13:52):
I'm glad that I could share himwith you more.
I'm glad that you guys allow mekind of to post more videos.
If you get a chance, go toTikTok, right?
I don't?
I never thought I'd say this.
I never thought I'd say thisbecause I don't do TikTok.
I'm not like I don't do thatand I thought that's what TikTok
was for the longest time.
I'm like TikTok is just dancingin front of like a Starbucks
(14:13):
order I don't know what the hellit was.
So I've been posting videos ofLucas on TikTok and it's been
doing really well.
Where people are liking it,whether it's a, you know, a
montage, whether it's a kind ofa trailer for this podcast, or
the one that's doing really wellis just him simply asking for a
cookie with this device,because it's a big deal.
I don't think enough people seeit and it's kind of the norm in
(14:34):
our house and I think sometimeswe forget that, that it's not
the norm for everybody.
So thank you for letting meshare that, thank you for
letting me share this episodeand thank you for taking the
time to listen.
Do me a favor.
Wherever you found me, likesubscribe, hit a bell.
Whatever you got to do.
I'm on Spotify, audibleeverywhere.
Hipod, I'm dadcom every singleFriday, as well as YouTube.
At HiBlog I'm dad that's ourchannel every single Friday, the
(14:58):
episode is posted with a video.
We got you know.
Hi blog, I'm dadcom, monday,wednesday.
Social media Hi, james Gutman.
It's everywhere, folks,everywhere.
Thank you so much for takingthe time.
Until next week, james Gutman,saying be well.
Oh, for Lucas as well, sayingbe well, bye, pot, I'm dad,
we'll see you next time.
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