June 13, 2025 • 19 mins
With just days until the release of Hi World, I’m Dad, James Gutman opens up about the journey that inspired his most personal work yet. In this heartfelt episode, James reflects on parenting his non-verbal son, Lucas, the fears that never came true, and the quiet beauty that replaced them. This isn't a tragedy- it’s a love story.
🔹 Hi World, I’m Dad will be available in stores, on Amazon, and as an audiobook narrated by James
🔹 Lucas, now 14, remains non-verbal, but joyful, kind, and fully present
🔹 “Autism appreciation is easy when you love them”
🔹 Acknowledges the unique bond with both his children: Lucas and his neurotypical daughter, Olivia
🔹 Describes the moment he stopped waiting for his son to speak and finally found peace
🔹 Pushes back on fear-based autism stories, offering hope and hard-won wisdom
🔹 Shares how Lucas taught him to live in the moment, let go of expectations, and embrace joy
🔹 New blog posts on HiBlogImDad.com: The Words My Son Never Said and He Never Says I Love You, But I’ve Never Been More Sure
Visit HiBlogImDad.com to read more, and pre-order Hi World, I’m Dad wherever books are sold. Tune in next week to hear James reflect on release day and early reader reactions.
It's Here! Get the book – “Hi World, I’m Dad: How Fathers Can Journey to Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Appreciation” on audio, digital, or print.
Follow Us On Facebook and YouTube. Follow James Guttman on Instagram.
Also, be sure to read the blog that started it all - Hi Blog! I'm Dad.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
James Guttman (00:00):
I want apple juice.
Lucas wants apple juice.
I know I heard him say that.
Can I have apple juice?
Yeah, you can have apple juice.
Can I have soda?
Yes, you can have soda.
Can I press that button?
No, you can't press that button.
Why?
Because that's going to playthe theme song.
I'm not ready to start the pot.
(00:30):
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad, james Gutman.
Folks, it's James Gutman, it'sHi Pod, I'm Dad.
Welcome back to another editionof the podcast.
It is Friday, it is it's Fridaythe 13th, it's June 13th, and
(00:51):
you know what that means.
That means that it is not onlyFather's Day weekend, but we are
less than one week away fromthe arrival of Hi World, I'm Dad
how fathers can journey fromautism awareness to acceptance,
to appreciation.
My new book available everywhere.
It.
It's gonna be available onamazon and every bookseller.
You can get it and be in stores, ask them if you don't see it,
if you want to hear the audioversion.
(01:12):
There's also an audiobooknarrated by my melodic tones and
, uh, yeah, hopefully you likeit.
But either way, I narrate thebook.
I tell you the stories just asI would tell them to anybody who
would be stuck in a room withme so you can hear the whole
book from beginning to end.
I am so excited about this.
It's available, by the way, onSpotify and Audible, and
wherever you audio your booksit's there, so check it out.
(01:36):
Pre-save, pre-order, grab itthe day it comes out and let me
know what you think.
I'm most excited to hear from alot of you guys about what you
think about the book and theideas behind it.
Some of the concepts that Iintroduce Again what I say every
single time I write anythingabout my son and about my life.
This is my life.
These are my stories.
In no way is this a roadmap forwhat you should be doing or
(01:58):
what you need to do or who yourkid is.
I don't know your kid.
My kid is wonderful.
I love my kid.
I tell you all the great thingsabout my son, but he's my son.
So these stories are about usand the things we do, and I know
that a lot of these thingsdefinitely resonate with
different people.
There's stories that I'll tellabout him that I know somebody
(02:18):
else who has a child who's verysimilar, that might experience
the same thing.
I get that, and some you don't.
Some people don't get it all.
They'll come back to me withall these different questions
and ideas.
I don't know if you hear him inthe background, but he's a rip
roaring, ready to go.
I talk about a lot.
I talk about the acceptance ofkind of what our life was going
to be, which now, at 14, itseems almost silly.
(02:41):
Because he's part of our worldand we love him.
We love having him in ourfamily, we love having him in
our life.
He's a sweet boy and all thefears that I had about him never
came true.
But there was a time where Ididn't know that was going to
happen.
There was a time where I hadnothing but questions and I got
no answers from anybody.
They didn't want to tell meanything.
I come from the world ofwrestling.
(03:04):
I thought it was.
You know, I come from the worldof wrestling.
I thought it was a work, agrift, and I thought that they
were purposely not telling mefor some weird reason.
I was very paranoid.
In the end they couldn't tellme, because nobody could tell
you what your kid will do.
It's like asking thepediatrician when your kid is
three is he going to playbaseball, is he going to be a
pitcher or a downfielder whywon't you tell me?
(03:24):
And the doctor's like?
Because he's three schmucko andthat's kind of what I had.
I worried all the time aboutwhat it was going to look like
when he got older.
And here we are he's 14.
And I think the unique situationhere is that a lot of the fears
that I had when he was atoddler came true, a lot that I
(03:50):
thought, if this is going to bemy life, it's going to be the
worst life ever.
They came true and it's not theworst life ever.
Man, I'm like George Bailey atthe end of the movie.
I really lived a wonderful life, it's been amazing.
And to have someone like him, Idon't know.
I don't know if it's like Ineeded someone like him, because
I really it's so helpful tohave a person there who truly
does not give a and you caninsert whatever words you want
there, but he doesn't care aboutproblems going on.
Lucas doesn't think about, likeyou know, politics or
(04:13):
frustrations or bills or grades.
He doesn't care.
He just lives his life.
When I'm in a mood and I'mfocusing on this or dealing with
that or all these differentproblems that we run into, he
will come over and just hug meor grab my hand and try to bring
me to get him food, like he'svery focused on right now, what
(04:33):
makes me happy right now, whatbrings me joy, and I envy that
and I watch him and I admire himand I try to be like that.
You know, I said and it's funnyand this is important to kind of
put out there I said in theInstagram story, every day on
Instagram and Facebook, on youknow, follow me at
HiJamesGuttman on both I've beenputting my countdown to the
(04:54):
book being released and you know, play music in the background,
play your song by Ellie Gouldinggreat song and Mike Posner and
things like that.
But also, you know, I have aquote at the bottom and there
was one where I had said it's onthe book that Lucas is the
realest person I've ever met.
And it's 100% true, he's therealest person ever.
And I think here's what makesit amazing.
(05:14):
People hear that and they know Ihave two kids, right, I also
have a 17-year-old neurotypicaldaughter.
And the question then comes inand I've gotten this before and
it's weird because I know whenpeople ask me it's a real thing,
but in our house it really kindof isn't that one child gets
the focus and the other onedoesn't.
Make no mistake, my daughter islike a star in this house, like
(05:38):
if you were here.
I think people would besurprised at how much equality
there really is in terms ofattention, in terms of being a
part of the family.
And you hear in the beginningof this podcast and you hear
that when we first startedthings off she was a little kid.
She's 17 years old now, so Idon't get to write about her as
much as I want, but let me tellyou this, and here's one of the
(05:58):
blessings I think I have havingone child who's neurotypical one
, who's neurodivergent.
You know one child who'sneurotypical one, who's
neurodivergent or whateverphrase you want to use for it.
Lucas is the realest person Iknow.
Lucas is the purest person Iknow.
Lucas is the kindest person Iknow out of.
Anybody Doesn't judge, has noanimosity.
(06:20):
Lucas will forgive youimmediately if you show that you
feel bad.
It's happened before.
You bang into Lucas with yourarm.
He doesn't hold a grudge, hedoesn't stare at you later on.
All you have to do is give hima hug.
I'm sorry, he's fine.
It's amazing.
Olivia, my daughter Olivia, isthe smartest person I know.
I have never known anyone whocan absorb facts the way she
(06:43):
does and hold on to them in areally amazing way.
She studies a lot.
She gets amazing grades.
I don't even know where itcomes from.
She has this ambition and thisdrive.
I have an ambition and a drive.
I've always wanted to do moreand I always think about what
the next step is.
Even now this book is comingout next week and I'm already
like what else are we gonna do?
I very, I push, I push, I push.
(07:05):
She does it on a level that I'mnot.
I'm blown away by.
It doesn't matter how long ittakes or what she has to do.
She's ambitious, she's strong,she's funny, she's smart.
She's really just a wonderfulperson and I'm so blessed to
have her in my life and I toldher that I think I mentioned on
the podcast too.
I told her one day I said yourealize I said everything I
(07:26):
write about Lucas and howimportant he is in my life.
Like that's you too.
The only reason why you're notin this thing is because you
don't want to be in the thing,because you're 17 and I get it,
and hopefully I'm going to tryto finagle a little bit more
appearances by her.
But I'm lucky and I'm blessed,and I know this every single day
.
I've made choices that havebrought me to where I am right
now and I'm lucky for that.
(07:47):
You know, and you can saysomething like that without it
being an insult, like to bedivorced and say I've made these
choices and I'm happy where Iam.
That's not an insult to thetime of my life when I was
married.
That's not an insult to theperson I was married to.
That was just, that was then,and this is now and I'm happy
now.
So everything that happens is alesson.
(08:08):
Having a child with severeautism was a life lesson that I
can handle anything and that allthe things that I worry about
aren't as bad as I think they'regoing to be ahead of time, that
I worry about aren't as bad asI think they're going to be
ahead of time, with my son'sautism being the biggest example
of it.
If I could go back in time whenhe was three and tell myself an
(08:29):
overview you know thatspecifics of what life is like.
Hey, your son doesn't speak,he's 14.
You're gonna have to do a lotof things for him.
Still, there's worries andconcerns.
I would have freaked out, man,anybody would.
Who wouldn't?
Because you don't know what'scoming.
And that's why a big part of thebook and the blog and the
podcast and I talk about it allthe time is people who are going
(08:51):
through the initial stages offiguring out if they have
someone in their life who hasautism Grandparents and people
who are going through theinitial stages of figuring out
how to interact with somebodywho has autism, what they can
say, what's offensive, what'snot.
I get all that I lived that andthat's been one of my goals in
this writing is to help peoplethrough a time that I needed my
(09:13):
most help during.
There's a story I don't know wemay have had it edited a little
bit in the book I'm taking youbehind the curtain but there's a
story I don't know.
We may have had it edited alittle bit in the book.
I'm taking you behind thecurtain, but there's a story and
the reason why it would beedited is I can't find it, but
it was back in like 2011.
And I wanted to know aboutautism.
I wanted to know what is itlike to have a child who's
nonverbal?
It was one of the professionalsthat said the words to me and I
(09:35):
went online and online and Ihad never done this.
Keep in mind, I have beenwriting on the internet since
2002, since a time when peopledidn't understand what it meant
to write on the internet.
I did podcasts before they werecalled podcasts in 2004 and
2005.
I once interviewed the wrestlerCoco Beware Coco Beware, the
bird man, coco Beware whocouldn't fathom that we were on
(09:56):
the internet.
He's like you might be thenumber one disc jockey on your
radio and I'm like this guydoesn't even know where we are
Because people didn't get it theinternet and writing and things
like that.
So I've been writing on theinternet since 2002.
And doing so kind of made itwork, you know.
So I didn't really do it forfun.
I didn't join groups, I didn'ttalk to people and for the first
time, right before well, rightaround 2011, right from a heart
(10:18):
attack, I had gone online tofind information about
non-verbal autism and I found ablog from a mother whose child
was I don't know.
The child was non-verbal or wasgetting a diagnosis of
non-verbal.
Whatever it was, it was anon-verbal child.
And the story and I forgive meif I've told you guys the story
already, but it's always been abig thing for me that I finally
(10:41):
reached out for some sort ofsupport and guidance online and
I felt a kick to my stomach.
It was the worst feeling everand it was a dramatic story
about the song Say Something,I'm Giving Up On you, and how
she envisions herself in herdriveway grabbing her child by
the collar and screaming saysomething, I'm giving up on you,
as they're taking him away tobe in a home and I was like, oh,
(11:04):
this is it, this is the end ofmy life.
It's the worst, worst, worst,worst thing in the world.
And I get it, man.
I get having those doubts andI've had them and I've written
blogs about them, about worryingand being scared.
Worrying and being scared, butI always try to find the hope in
(11:26):
it.
Our life is not hopeless.
There's a lot worse things.
I mean honestly, man.
There's a lot worse things thanwhat I have.
I've known people who have lostchildren.
I know people who have childrenpermanently in a coma and
throughout my life I've knownpeople who have faced tragedy
and loss and grief and pain andheartache, and I don't have any
of that.
All I have is a kid thatdoesn't really use his verbal
(11:49):
language and every once in awhile I got to kind of figure
him out and maybe help him brushhis teeth here and there.
I mean it's easy when you lovethem.
That's the best way I could putit.
Autism appreciation is easywhen you love them.
That's the best way I could putit.
Autism appreciation is easywhen you love them.
Doing things for your childwhen they need you is easy when
you love them.
Imagining an imaginary kid andputting yourself in that
(12:11):
position is not easy.
Somebody sees me with Lucas andthey imagine some kid that
doesn't exist and them having totake care of him.
That sucks.
You don't even know that kid.
I know this kid, I love thiskid.
This kid is great.
I buy him presents at Christmasand birthdays and he loves me
and he lights up when he sees meand that's the whole point of
this book, it's the whole pointof the blog, that's the whole
point of the podcast to tellpeople about my son.
(12:34):
I've been saying to Lucas sincehe was little the squeakiest
wheel gets the most grease andyou're the least squeaky wheel
I've ever met.
Like he doesn't complain.
It's easy to just put him inhis room, give him an iPad and
go about your day, but you don'tdo it.
You don't do it because youlove him, you don't do it
because he deserves better, andthat's the whole point.
Also, in being a very unsqueakywheel, lucas doesn't get a lot
(12:57):
of attention.
You know, I talked about hissister earlier.
His sister is the star ofpeople.
She lives in the world whereeverybody does the things we do,
just like I do.
I live in the neurotypicalworld.
If I sink a basket, if I, youknow, do these things, people
applaud and people are proud andthey're excited and I'm excited
.
I made everybody proud of me.
I wrote a book.
Everyone likes my book.
Yay, I wrote a book and it'ssuch a great like and it's such
(13:17):
a great like, oh, doing allthese things, lucas doesn't care
.
Lucas doesn't want to doanything to impress anybody else
outside of his world and indoing so, it's very easy for
people to overlook him, becauseit's hard to really.
What is he doing?
What is he into?
How do you talk to him?
I get all these differentquestions.
And this book.
Honestly, man, like I use thatsong, um, your song by ellie
(13:40):
gould.
I always loved that song.
I loved it when I was younger.
It kind of fell out a littlebit, but it's the best way to
put it.
It was originally by Elton John, but it's.
You can tell this is his song.
This book that I wrote is notonly his song, it's my song.
It's the most important thingI've ever done in my entire life
and when I came out I came outof the hospital in 2012, having
(14:05):
had my bypass all I wanted to dowas do something that meant
something, and that's what thisis.
Not only do I get to shareLucas with the world and tell
everybody about this wonderfulperson, but I get a chance to
shine a light on the positivitybehind something that for so
long it's debated, for so longhas people going out there
(14:26):
talking about curing it andavoiding it and fighting it.
And I get it.
And you have a kid and youdon't want your kid to have any
sort of ailments.
I understand that, and if myson didn't have autism, I would
be concerned.
I don't want him to have autism, but lots of us, as parents, we
have children who are nonverbaland have autism, and it's my
privilege, honestly, to be ableto write this book and to tell
(14:48):
people.
If you're one of them, you knowby now if you've had it for a
while it's not that bad.
You love your kid right.
Difficult yeah, challenges yeah.
Maybe you can't go out as much.
Maybe you cost some money.
Maybe you worry a little bitmore.
Sometimes you get a glimpse ofpeople in your life who really
can't handle this.
That's a little jarring, butoverall it's not.
(15:10):
My kid's not in the hospitalevery day.
My kid's here with me.
I don't have to worry about him.
He's not on the street, he'snot missing.
I'm the luckiest dad in theworld.
I get to spend as much time aspossible with two of the best
people I know and this book isabout them.
(15:31):
And this book is about my son.
It's about our family and it'sthere to help you.
It's not.
I'm not writing you knowfiction and imagined scenarios
about me crying to a song.
I'm not putting fear in yourheart for no reason.
I'm not sharing my fears withyou and if I do, I try to show
(15:56):
you how.
It's completely normal, butit's part of the bigger picture.
I've never written a blog aboutthe end of the world being
because my son had autism.
I've written blogs about beingfrustrated, being worried that
he's gonna steal somebody's foodoff their plate.
I've written blogs about beingworried he was gonna run into
traffic.
All those man when he waslittle he ran all the time.
I wrote about the struggles ofcutting his hair.
(16:17):
I wrote about we've beenthrough so much, I've watched
him grow up and I've shared itwith you and if you read it then
you know it.
There's no fiction here.
This is our life and it'spositive and it's great.
And High World I'm Dad is.
It's our song, that's our songto you and it's our song for the
world.
And hopefully you know, we getto make a difference.
(16:39):
Lukey, come here he and we getto make a difference.
Luki, come here, he and I getto make a difference and do good
for people.
Come here, hey, come here.
I'm on the microphone.
Can you come here, lean and saysomething clap.
Okay, we can't play that, Ican't play elmo, because they're
gonna take us down forcopyright.
Can you?
I'm gonna say something yeah,here you go.
I love you.
A lot of eye contact, a lot ofkisses, but he's here, I promise
(17:01):
you he's here and we're hangingout.
It's a big week.
So thank you guys for all yoursupport.
Do me a favor If you get achance, go to highblogomdadcom.
That is where it all started.
Highblogomdad that's what Iwrote.
This week I wrote two blogs, oneof them really important, the
words my son never said and thepiece that followed.
(17:22):
And it kind of follows the ideaof when he was young and I
wasn't ready to tell people hehad autism or he was nonverbal.
I found myself in uncomfortablesituations waiting for him to
answer people.
They go hi, buddy.
And I stare at him Like is hegoing to talk?
Is he going to talk?
And the day that I didn't dothat anymore, the day talk, and
the day that I didn't do thatanymore, the day I'm talking
about you, but the day that Ididn't do that anymore and I got
a chance to tell people no,he's not going to say hello back
(17:45):
to you, maybe a wave.
You know it was freeing, itfelt good.
It kind of like took a weightoff my shoulders.
And then the other one was henever says I love you, but I've
never been more sure.
I've written similar things inthe past.
But it's also important to knowthis because really, when he
was little and he was gettingdiagnosed, the last thing I
thought was that I'd ever knowthat he loved me.
And now.
I know it more than I know itabout anybody else.
(18:05):
Like Lucas, lucas loves me, andit's not about words and it's
not about you know communication.
It's about feelings, aboutactions.
It's an amazing situation.
So, guys, thank you.
This is the last one.
This is the last podcast beforehigh world on dad Lucas.
It's the last podcast beforehigh world on dad man.
So please go out, grab it.
(18:25):
Next Friday we'll be back here.
We'll talk about it.
How about that?
We'll talk about the book.
We'll talk about some of thethings that came out.
I want to get some feedbackfrom you guys.
Reviews are going to startgoing up.
I'm really excited.
I don't know.
Let's change the way peoplethink about autism.
Let's change the way peoplethink about you know, people
like my son and families likemine.
Let's change the world, guys.
Until next time.
This is James Gutman saying bewell, bye, pod.
(18:47):
I'm dad.
Thank you, I'll see you nexttime.
I want apple juice.
Lucas wants apple juice.
I know I heard him say that.
Can I have apple juice?
Yeah, you can have apple juice.
Can I have soda?
Yes, you can have soda.
Can I press that button?
No, you can't press that button.
Why?
Because that's going to playthe theme song.
I'm not ready to start the pot.
(00:30):
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad, james Gutman.
Folks, it's James Gutman, it'sHi Pod, I'm Dad.
Welcome back to another editionof the podcast.
It is Friday, it is it's Fridaythe 13th, it's June 13th, and
(00:51):
you know what that means.
That means that it is not onlyFather's Day weekend, but we are
less than one week away fromthe arrival of Hi World, I'm Dad
how fathers can journey fromautism awareness to acceptance,
to appreciation.
My new book available everywhere.
It.
It's gonna be available onamazon and every bookseller.
You can get it and be in stores, ask them if you don't see it,
if you want to hear the audioversion.
(01:12):
There's also an audiobooknarrated by my melodic tones and
, uh, yeah, hopefully you likeit.
But either way, I narrate thebook.
I tell you the stories just asI would tell them to anybody who
would be stuck in a room withme so you can hear the whole
book from beginning to end.
I am so excited about this.
It's available, by the way, onSpotify and Audible, and
wherever you audio your booksit's there, so check it out.
(01:36):
Pre-save, pre-order, grab itthe day it comes out and let me
know what you think.
I'm most excited to hear from alot of you guys about what you
think about the book and theideas behind it.
Some of the concepts that Iintroduce Again what I say every
single time I write anythingabout my son and about my life.
This is my life.
These are my stories.
In no way is this a roadmap forwhat you should be doing or
(01:58):
what you need to do or who yourkid is.
I don't know your kid.
My kid is wonderful.
I love my kid.
I tell you all the great thingsabout my son, but he's my son.
So these stories are about usand the things we do, and I know
that a lot of these thingsdefinitely resonate with
different people.
There's stories that I'll tellabout him that I know somebody
(02:18):
else who has a child who's verysimilar, that might experience
the same thing.
I get that, and some you don't.
Some people don't get it all.
They'll come back to me withall these different questions
and ideas.
I don't know if you hear him inthe background, but he's a rip
roaring, ready to go.
I talk about a lot.
I talk about the acceptance ofkind of what our life was going
to be, which now, at 14, itseems almost silly.
(02:41):
Because he's part of our worldand we love him.
We love having him in ourfamily, we love having him in
our life.
He's a sweet boy and all thefears that I had about him never
came true.
But there was a time where Ididn't know that was going to
happen.
There was a time where I hadnothing but questions and I got
no answers from anybody.
They didn't want to tell meanything.
I come from the world ofwrestling.
(03:04):
I thought it was.
You know, I come from the worldof wrestling.
I thought it was a work, agrift, and I thought that they
were purposely not telling mefor some weird reason.
I was very paranoid.
In the end they couldn't tellme, because nobody could tell
you what your kid will do.
It's like asking thepediatrician when your kid is
three is he going to playbaseball, is he going to be a
pitcher or a downfielder whywon't you tell me?
(03:24):
And the doctor's like?
Because he's three schmucko andthat's kind of what I had.
I worried all the time aboutwhat it was going to look like
when he got older.
And here we are he's 14.
And I think the unique situationhere is that a lot of the fears
that I had when he was atoddler came true, a lot that I
(03:50):
thought, if this is going to bemy life, it's going to be the
worst life ever.
They came true and it's not theworst life ever.
Man, I'm like George Bailey atthe end of the movie.
I really lived a wonderful life, it's been amazing.
And to have someone like him, Idon't know.
I don't know if it's like Ineeded someone like him, because
I really it's so helpful tohave a person there who truly
does not give a and you caninsert whatever words you want
there, but he doesn't care aboutproblems going on.
Lucas doesn't think about, likeyou know, politics or
(04:13):
frustrations or bills or grades.
He doesn't care.
He just lives his life.
When I'm in a mood and I'mfocusing on this or dealing with
that or all these differentproblems that we run into, he
will come over and just hug meor grab my hand and try to bring
me to get him food, like he'svery focused on right now, what
(04:33):
makes me happy right now, whatbrings me joy, and I envy that
and I watch him and I admire himand I try to be like that.
You know, I said and it's funnyand this is important to kind of
put out there I said in theInstagram story, every day on
Instagram and Facebook, on youknow, follow me at
HiJamesGuttman on both I've beenputting my countdown to the
(04:54):
book being released and you know, play music in the background,
play your song by Ellie Gouldinggreat song and Mike Posner and
things like that.
But also, you know, I have aquote at the bottom and there
was one where I had said it's onthe book that Lucas is the
realest person I've ever met.
And it's 100% true, he's therealest person ever.
And I think here's what makesit amazing.
(05:14):
People hear that and they know Ihave two kids, right, I also
have a 17-year-old neurotypicaldaughter.
And the question then comes inand I've gotten this before and
it's weird because I know whenpeople ask me it's a real thing,
but in our house it really kindof isn't that one child gets
the focus and the other onedoesn't.
Make no mistake, my daughter islike a star in this house, like
(05:38):
if you were here.
I think people would besurprised at how much equality
there really is in terms ofattention, in terms of being a
part of the family.
And you hear in the beginningof this podcast and you hear
that when we first startedthings off she was a little kid.
She's 17 years old now, so Idon't get to write about her as
much as I want, but let me tellyou this, and here's one of the
(05:58):
blessings I think I have havingone child who's neurotypical one
, who's neurodivergent.
You know one child who'sneurotypical one, who's
neurodivergent or whateverphrase you want to use for it.
Lucas is the realest person Iknow.
Lucas is the purest person Iknow.
Lucas is the kindest person Iknow out of.
Anybody Doesn't judge, has noanimosity.
(06:20):
Lucas will forgive youimmediately if you show that you
feel bad.
It's happened before.
You bang into Lucas with yourarm.
He doesn't hold a grudge, hedoesn't stare at you later on.
All you have to do is give hima hug.
I'm sorry, he's fine.
It's amazing.
Olivia, my daughter Olivia, isthe smartest person I know.
I have never known anyone whocan absorb facts the way she
(06:43):
does and hold on to them in areally amazing way.
She studies a lot.
She gets amazing grades.
I don't even know where itcomes from.
She has this ambition and thisdrive.
I have an ambition and a drive.
I've always wanted to do moreand I always think about what
the next step is.
Even now this book is comingout next week and I'm already
like what else are we gonna do?
I very, I push, I push, I push.
(07:05):
She does it on a level that I'mnot.
I'm blown away by.
It doesn't matter how long ittakes or what she has to do.
She's ambitious, she's strong,she's funny, she's smart.
She's really just a wonderfulperson and I'm so blessed to
have her in my life and I toldher that I think I mentioned on
the podcast too.
I told her one day I said yourealize I said everything I
(07:26):
write about Lucas and howimportant he is in my life.
Like that's you too.
The only reason why you're notin this thing is because you
don't want to be in the thing,because you're 17 and I get it,
and hopefully I'm going to tryto finagle a little bit more
appearances by her.
But I'm lucky and I'm blessed,and I know this every single day
.
I've made choices that havebrought me to where I am right
now and I'm lucky for that.
(07:47):
You know, and you can saysomething like that without it
being an insult, like to bedivorced and say I've made these
choices and I'm happy where Iam.
That's not an insult to thetime of my life when I was
married.
That's not an insult to theperson I was married to.
That was just, that was then,and this is now and I'm happy
now.
So everything that happens is alesson.
(08:08):
Having a child with severeautism was a life lesson that I
can handle anything and that allthe things that I worry about
aren't as bad as I think they'regoing to be ahead of time, that
I worry about aren't as bad asI think they're going to be
ahead of time, with my son'sautism being the biggest example
of it.
If I could go back in time whenhe was three and tell myself an
(08:29):
overview you know thatspecifics of what life is like.
Hey, your son doesn't speak,he's 14.
You're gonna have to do a lotof things for him.
Still, there's worries andconcerns.
I would have freaked out, man,anybody would.
Who wouldn't?
Because you don't know what'scoming.
And that's why a big part of thebook and the blog and the
podcast and I talk about it allthe time is people who are going
(08:51):
through the initial stages offiguring out if they have
someone in their life who hasautism Grandparents and people
who are going through theinitial stages of figuring out
how to interact with somebodywho has autism, what they can
say, what's offensive, what'snot.
I get all that I lived that andthat's been one of my goals in
this writing is to help peoplethrough a time that I needed my
(09:13):
most help during.
There's a story I don't know wemay have had it edited a little
bit in the book I'm taking youbehind the curtain but there's a
story I don't know.
We may have had it edited alittle bit in the book.
I'm taking you behind thecurtain, but there's a story and
the reason why it would beedited is I can't find it, but
it was back in like 2011.
And I wanted to know aboutautism.
I wanted to know what is itlike to have a child who's
nonverbal?
It was one of the professionalsthat said the words to me and I
(09:35):
went online and online and Ihad never done this.
Keep in mind, I have beenwriting on the internet since
2002, since a time when peopledidn't understand what it meant
to write on the internet.
I did podcasts before they werecalled podcasts in 2004 and
2005.
I once interviewed the wrestlerCoco Beware Coco Beware, the
bird man, coco Beware whocouldn't fathom that we were on
(09:56):
the internet.
He's like you might be thenumber one disc jockey on your
radio and I'm like this guydoesn't even know where we are
Because people didn't get it theinternet and writing and things
like that.
So I've been writing on theinternet since 2002.
And doing so kind of made itwork, you know.
So I didn't really do it forfun.
I didn't join groups, I didn'ttalk to people and for the first
time, right before well, rightaround 2011, right from a heart
(10:18):
attack, I had gone online tofind information about
non-verbal autism and I found ablog from a mother whose child
was I don't know.
The child was non-verbal or wasgetting a diagnosis of
non-verbal.
Whatever it was, it was anon-verbal child.
And the story and I forgive meif I've told you guys the story
already, but it's always been abig thing for me that I finally
(10:41):
reached out for some sort ofsupport and guidance online and
I felt a kick to my stomach.
It was the worst feeling everand it was a dramatic story
about the song Say Something,I'm Giving Up On you, and how
she envisions herself in herdriveway grabbing her child by
the collar and screaming saysomething, I'm giving up on you,
as they're taking him away tobe in a home and I was like, oh,
(11:04):
this is it, this is the end ofmy life.
It's the worst, worst, worst,worst thing in the world.
And I get it, man.
I get having those doubts andI've had them and I've written
blogs about them, about worryingand being scared.
Worrying and being scared, butI always try to find the hope in
(11:26):
it.
Our life is not hopeless.
There's a lot worse things.
I mean honestly, man.
There's a lot worse things thanwhat I have.
I've known people who have lostchildren.
I know people who have childrenpermanently in a coma and
throughout my life I've knownpeople who have faced tragedy
and loss and grief and pain andheartache, and I don't have any
of that.
All I have is a kid thatdoesn't really use his verbal
(11:49):
language and every once in awhile I got to kind of figure
him out and maybe help him brushhis teeth here and there.
I mean it's easy when you lovethem.
That's the best way I could putit.
Autism appreciation is easywhen you love them.
That's the best way I could putit.
Autism appreciation is easywhen you love them.
Doing things for your childwhen they need you is easy when
you love them.
Imagining an imaginary kid andputting yourself in that
(12:11):
position is not easy.
Somebody sees me with Lucas andthey imagine some kid that
doesn't exist and them having totake care of him.
That sucks.
You don't even know that kid.
I know this kid, I love thiskid.
This kid is great.
I buy him presents at Christmasand birthdays and he loves me
and he lights up when he sees meand that's the whole point of
this book, it's the whole pointof the blog, that's the whole
point of the podcast to tellpeople about my son.
(12:34):
I've been saying to Lucas sincehe was little the squeakiest
wheel gets the most grease andyou're the least squeaky wheel
I've ever met.
Like he doesn't complain.
It's easy to just put him inhis room, give him an iPad and
go about your day, but you don'tdo it.
You don't do it because youlove him, you don't do it
because he deserves better, andthat's the whole point.
Also, in being a very unsqueakywheel, lucas doesn't get a lot
(12:57):
of attention.
You know, I talked about hissister earlier.
His sister is the star ofpeople.
She lives in the world whereeverybody does the things we do,
just like I do.
I live in the neurotypicalworld.
If I sink a basket, if I, youknow, do these things, people
applaud and people are proud andthey're excited and I'm excited
.
I made everybody proud of me.
I wrote a book.
Everyone likes my book.
Yay, I wrote a book and it'ssuch a great like and it's such
(13:17):
a great like, oh, doing allthese things, lucas doesn't care
.
Lucas doesn't want to doanything to impress anybody else
outside of his world and indoing so, it's very easy for
people to overlook him, becauseit's hard to really.
What is he doing?
What is he into?
How do you talk to him?
I get all these differentquestions.
And this book.
Honestly, man, like I use thatsong, um, your song by ellie
(13:40):
gould.
I always loved that song.
I loved it when I was younger.
It kind of fell out a littlebit, but it's the best way to
put it.
It was originally by Elton John, but it's.
You can tell this is his song.
This book that I wrote is notonly his song, it's my song.
It's the most important thingI've ever done in my entire life
and when I came out I came outof the hospital in 2012, having
(14:05):
had my bypass all I wanted to dowas do something that meant
something, and that's what thisis.
Not only do I get to shareLucas with the world and tell
everybody about this wonderfulperson, but I get a chance to
shine a light on the positivitybehind something that for so
long it's debated, for so longhas people going out there
(14:26):
talking about curing it andavoiding it and fighting it.
And I get it.
And you have a kid and youdon't want your kid to have any
sort of ailments.
I understand that, and if myson didn't have autism, I would
be concerned.
I don't want him to have autism, but lots of us, as parents, we
have children who are nonverbaland have autism, and it's my
privilege, honestly, to be ableto write this book and to tell
(14:48):
people.
If you're one of them, you knowby now if you've had it for a
while it's not that bad.
You love your kid right.
Difficult yeah, challenges yeah.
Maybe you can't go out as much.
Maybe you cost some money.
Maybe you worry a little bitmore.
Sometimes you get a glimpse ofpeople in your life who really
can't handle this.
That's a little jarring, butoverall it's not.
(15:10):
My kid's not in the hospitalevery day.
My kid's here with me.
I don't have to worry about him.
He's not on the street, he'snot missing.
I'm the luckiest dad in theworld.
I get to spend as much time aspossible with two of the best
people I know and this book isabout them.
(15:31):
And this book is about my son.
It's about our family and it'sthere to help you.
It's not.
I'm not writing you knowfiction and imagined scenarios
about me crying to a song.
I'm not putting fear in yourheart for no reason.
I'm not sharing my fears withyou and if I do, I try to show
(15:56):
you how.
It's completely normal, butit's part of the bigger picture.
I've never written a blog aboutthe end of the world being
because my son had autism.
I've written blogs about beingfrustrated, being worried that
he's gonna steal somebody's foodoff their plate.
I've written blogs about beingworried he was gonna run into
traffic.
All those man when he waslittle he ran all the time.
I wrote about the struggles ofcutting his hair.
(16:17):
I wrote about we've beenthrough so much, I've watched
him grow up and I've shared itwith you and if you read it then
you know it.
There's no fiction here.
This is our life and it'spositive and it's great.
And High World I'm Dad is.
It's our song, that's our songto you and it's our song for the
world.
And hopefully you know, we getto make a difference.
(16:39):
Lukey, come here he and we getto make a difference.
Luki, come here, he and I getto make a difference and do good
for people.
Come here, hey, come here.
I'm on the microphone.
Can you come here, lean and saysomething clap.
Okay, we can't play that, Ican't play elmo, because they're
gonna take us down forcopyright.
Can you?
I'm gonna say something yeah,here you go.
I love you.
A lot of eye contact, a lot ofkisses, but he's here, I promise
(17:01):
you he's here and we're hangingout.
It's a big week.
So thank you guys for all yoursupport.
Do me a favor If you get achance, go to highblogomdadcom.
That is where it all started.
Highblogomdad that's what Iwrote.
This week I wrote two blogs, oneof them really important, the
words my son never said and thepiece that followed.
(17:22):
And it kind of follows the ideaof when he was young and I
wasn't ready to tell people hehad autism or he was nonverbal.
I found myself in uncomfortablesituations waiting for him to
answer people.
They go hi, buddy.
And I stare at him Like is hegoing to talk?
Is he going to talk?
And the day that I didn't dothat anymore, the day talk, and
the day that I didn't do thatanymore, the day I'm talking
about you, but the day that Ididn't do that anymore and I got
a chance to tell people no,he's not going to say hello back
(17:45):
to you, maybe a wave.
You know it was freeing, itfelt good.
It kind of like took a weightoff my shoulders.
And then the other one was henever says I love you, but I've
never been more sure.
I've written similar things inthe past.
But it's also important to knowthis because really, when he
was little and he was gettingdiagnosed, the last thing I
thought was that I'd ever knowthat he loved me.
And now.
I know it more than I know itabout anybody else.
(18:05):
Like Lucas, lucas loves me, andit's not about words and it's
not about you know communication.
It's about feelings, aboutactions.
It's an amazing situation.
So, guys, thank you.
This is the last one.
This is the last podcast beforehigh world on dad Lucas.
It's the last podcast beforehigh world on dad man.
So please go out, grab it.
(18:25):
Next Friday we'll be back here.
We'll talk about it.
How about that?
We'll talk about the book.
We'll talk about some of thethings that came out.
I want to get some feedbackfrom you guys.
Reviews are going to startgoing up.
I'm really excited.
I don't know.
Let's change the way peoplethink about autism.
Let's change the way peoplethink about you know, people
like my son and families likemine.
Let's change the world, guys.
Until next time.
This is James Gutman saying bewell, bye, pod.
(18:47):
I'm dad.
Thank you, I'll see you nexttime.
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