July 11, 2025 • 20 mins
James Guttman reflects on the emotional milestones of parenting a neurotypical teenager and a nonverbal son with autism. In this week’s heartfelt episode, he shares how Olivia has grown from the little girl who monopolized his time after school into a self-sufficient 17-year-old — and how their bond has evolved along the way.
At the same time, James discusses the equally powerful connection he shares with Lucas, built on unspoken cues and trust. With honesty, humor, and vulnerability, he explores:
- How his blog shifted focus as Olivia requested privacy
- The unique but equal importance of both of his children
- Family values that center on unity, not hierarchy
- Lessons learned from heart surgery, divorce, and parenting through change
- How positivity and self-respect shape the people we attract into our lives
This episode is a tribute to the evolution of parenthood, the power of love without comparison, and the beauty of building a life you’re proud of — one moment at a time.
WATCH THIS EPISODE HERE: https://youtu.be/1EpKjVaXoew
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🎧 New podcast episodes every Friday at midnight
▶️ Subscribe to @HiBlogImDad on YouTube for new podcast episodes every Friday and more stories about fatherhood, autism, and life’s unexpected lessons.
It's Here! Get the book – “Hi World, I’m Dad: How Fathers Can Journey to Autism Awareness, Acceptance, and Appreciation” on audio, digital, or print.
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Also, be sure to read the blog that started it all - Hi Blog! I'm Dad.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
James Guttman (00:00):
I want apple juice.
Lucas wants apple juice.
I know I heard him say that.
Can I have apple juice?
Yeah, you can have apple juice.
Can I have soda?
Yes, you can have soda.
Can I press that button?
No, you can't press that button.
Why?
Because that's going to playthe theme song.
I'm not ready to start the pot.
(00:30):
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad.
James Gutman, folks, jamesGutman, it's Hi Pod, I'm Dad.
Welcome back to another editionof the podcast.
Thank you so much for findingme.
Whether you found me onhighpodomdadcom, audible,
(00:51):
spotify, iheart radio, you nameit, we're there.
Maybe on youtube you can see meat high blog I'm dad.
It is up midnight friday.
Every single week, brand newpodcast video cross the board.
New blogs highblogomdadcomMonday, wednesday.
Just I mean, we're overloaded.
Hi James Gutman on social mediaHI, james Gutman, you name it,
(01:12):
we got it.
I appreciate you guys taking thetime to check me out and to
follow the work that we do hereand the things that I write
about.
It's been a good week and I'lltell you about it.
For it's been a good week andI'll tell you about it For those
of you guys who've beenfollowing along.
You guys know that on WednesdayI got a chance to write about
my daughter and, for those whohave been around from the
beginning, we had one of our,one of the readers, amanda
(01:33):
Shreve.
She was one of the first peopleto do no-transcript.
He was young, he was firstemerging on his autism journey.
(01:57):
I was still worried about himrunning into traffic.
I was worried about him neverunderstanding me, never knowing
who I was, never acknowledgingme.
But her I got.
Olivia was my buddy.
She was my best friend man foryears.
She would come home from school, she would come into my office,
she would monopolize my time.
(02:17):
We would watch TV shows and theNext Step and the Brady Bunch
and just so many things.
And I knew then that one daythat was going to be different.
Not gone, I hesitate to saygone, because we still watch TV.
We're currently watchingSchitt's Creek when we get a
(02:37):
chance and we watch Big Brotherin the summer when we can.
So it doesn't necessarily goaway, but it's different, it's
not every day.
She can't be my best friendforever.
She has a life.
She's a teenager.
I was a teenager.
I have vivid memories of being17.
So when the blog first began, Iwould write about her a great
deal, and one of the things Iwrote and always stuck with me
was Let your Princess Grow Up.
(02:58):
And it was an article aboutthis commercial, this Subaru
commercial, where the father hashis daughter in the driver's
seat of the car.
She's like little and all of asudden, like in a blink of an
eye, she's like old enough todrive herself.
And I wrote about it back then,about how I knew that was
happening and when she's 17,it's going to happen and I get
it.
And now she's 17.
(03:20):
And now she drives.
And now she's a lady.
And you don't even realize itbecause you feel like your kids
are growing up.
Right, and if you're listeningto this and you have a kid who's
like 10, 11, 12, you think yourkid's growing up and you think
to yourself my God, look atthese pictures.
This isn't the baby I remember.
You have no idea the picturesthat you're seeing now In a
(03:41):
couple of years're going to lookback and be like look, how
little they were then.
And that happened with olivia.
Olivia is 17.
She had her junior prom and wetook pictures next to each other
and I'm like who are you?
How is this my kid, how is this?
My daughter?
You're a baby and I wouldalways write about that.
When I did get to write abouther, I would write about like,
(04:01):
how does the baby drive?
How does the baby there'salways a joke about that, but
it's true.
And for those of you guys whofollow the blog and you know the
evolution of the blog, I wroteabout her a lot in the beginning
and then slowly it started tomorph a little bit.
I wrote more and more aboutLucas.
I figured Lucas out a littlebit more.
I get Lucas, I understand Lucasnow, but also she was getting
(04:22):
older and she wanted her privacyand it was to the point where I
would want to write about herand I would go to her.
I go, I'm going to write thisarticle about you.
Let me send you some pictures.
You tell me which ones I coulduse and she would say no to all
of them and I'd be like do younot want me to write about you?
She'd be like no, you can airif they don't want to be on
there.
She wants me to write about herand she's cool with it.
(04:44):
Cool if she doesn't.
Never, you know.
That's why, even with lucas Iknow people listening to this go
.
What about your son?
He's non-verbal, he can't sayanything.
Yeah, but I do make sure thatthe things I write about lucas
if he was verbal, um, that hewould say no to I don't like.
You guys know, I don't writeabout you know potty, you know
bath time or things like that.
(05:04):
I mean, he's a 14 year old boy.
Whatever he does, whether,whether I do and this, and by me
saying that that isn't anadmission that I'm bathing him
or I'm helping him in thebathroom, I'm not saying
anything either way, becausethen that's part of the privacy.
You know, that's just something, that's just off limits.
I don't talk about that withhim.
I don't talk about so.
(05:26):
As the years went by, I wroteabout her less, but I never
stopped valuing her as one ofthe top people in my life and I
remember we've had ups and downsand we've had incidents, even
recently, where sometimes youhave to remind your kids of what
they mean to you.
You think we go through thisevery day and she sees what I do
(05:47):
and she sees that I dropeverything for her and I'll
drive her where she needs to goand I'll do these things for her
.
But sometimes they need to hearit.
So I remember we were in thecar and we're dealing with
insanity as life goes on, alltwisted as they say, and I said
to her I go listen.
I said, do you understandsomething?
I'm like I don't write aboutyou because you asked me not to,
(06:08):
okay.
I'm like, well, okay, but everysingle thing I write about
Lucas, that's you Like when I'mlike Lucas is the number one in
my life and he's I'm like,that's you.
I'm like I would throw someonein front of a speeding bus for
you and then pay them to backover the person again.
I would.
(06:29):
I mean, you talk about ride ordie in this family, like I've
got my kids backs.
And the reason why is because,especially with Olivia, I know
that every single thing she doesis with good intentions,
because I made this kid and Iraised this kid.
I know who she is and I'vewatched her go through life and
(06:49):
I've watched her become a betterperson.
And for those of you who don'tknow her, holy God, this kid,
she gets grades Like I can'teven like.
Imagine she goes back to me andshe's just like a 99.
I'm like what are you doing?
How do you have a 99 averagewhen I was a kid that wasn't
even like a thing.
It was like I was just tryingto like get through class, you
know.
I mean I was forging like likenotes and stuff.
Like it was bad.
(07:09):
Uh, as time went on it got alittle bad, um, but yeah, dude,
she works.
She has a work ethic like I'venever seen before and it's the
kind of thing where now I feellike I have a work ethic now.
But when I was her age I didn't.
So I don't know where kind ofit came from.
I guess it sprouted early.
She works so much likeconstantly working.
She has two jobs on her own.
(07:31):
Nobody makes her do anything.
I don't make her do anything,but she is my number one girl.
I have two kids, man.
I have a boy and I have a girl.
I have a neurotypical girl andI have a boy with nonverbal
autism.
The two of them are sodifferent.
It's so the same but really,like on paper, very different.
And it allows me to have thisunique relationship with both of
(07:54):
them where they both are numberone in their category Lucas and
I.
My son has a relationship withme, unlike I have with anybody
else.
I can look at Lucas and I cantalk.
I was on the phone the otherday with someone and, as I'm
talking to this person, lucas iswalking around and he wanted
food and stuff and I had anentire conversation with him
without saying it works, I don'tneed to.
(08:15):
I look over him on the phone,I'm listening, I'm like see,
this is one of the before I gointo this is one of the reasons
why you need to subscribe onYouTube, because I'm doing the
whole thing.
So just bear with me.
If you're on Spotify, if you'reon iPod, just just give me a
second.
So I look at Lucas and I go.
So I look at Lucas and I go.
(08:39):
And he left the room and hecame back and I gave him food.
Just to narrate it, I wastouching my mouth and doing all
sorts of hand motions and thingslike that.
So I'm allowed to have the mostunique relationships with both
of my kids.
Like Lucas is my number oneperson in that category.
There's nobody I have that kindof relationship with.
(09:01):
Olivia is a neurotypical kidand I have tons of neurotypical
relationships in my life and sheis number one in that category,
which means that basically, outof like 16 quintillion I don't
know how many people are onearth?
Man, I'm probably completelywrong.
Out of everybody on earth,olivia is number one in terms of
people who can talk in arelationship with me.
(09:22):
I don't know a lot of nonverbalpeople.
Lucas is number one for that.
But Lucas is unique in that Ican carry on these conversations
with him and we have this bondand we built these things
together that I've built withhim and I've never built with
anybody else.
I've built with him and I'venever built with anybody else.
I've never had the need to andI've never had the reason to and
(09:46):
I've never wanted to.
He's my guy, she's my girl,this is my family, and I wrote
in the thing man I have.
I've had people try to, you know, come between people, you know.
Try to, you know, make thingsmore about them than my kids.
And it's always been the samething.
Man, my kids come first and ifanybody's in my life, whether
it's a friend, whether it's arelationship, whatever it
happens to be, that person is apart of the group.
Right, you can be a part ofthis group.
(10:09):
You can't be above anybody orbelow anybody.
My kids aren't.
Olivia is not above Lucas.
Lucas is not above Olivia.
I'm not above any.
We're all part of the thing andthat's what I'm trying in my
life.
You want to find people whobelong there and, yeah, I want
my daughter to know that she'llalways come first and that
(10:30):
she'll always be somebody that Ivalue and dude.
As a dad, you know I'm kind of.
I mean you might be able totell from the blog and from the
things that I say and the thingsthat I write that I'm kind of
easygoing, I'm really easy toget along with.
If you don't get along with melike, you're pretty much
something with you, I try to bereally accommodating.
(10:50):
And the reason why I try to beaccommodating is because I want
it to be the type of situationwhere, if you don't like me or
if you have a problem with me, Iwant to know 100% oh, it's you,
it's not me.
So I don't like to do thingsthat like afterwards somebody's
like I don't like James Gunn,why?
Well, you know you call me aname or you did like.
I don't want them to havereasons that make sense.
I want their reasons to beweird.
So I want to be the type ofperson that puts better things
(11:16):
into the world than I take outof it.
So I go out of my way to bepositive and I go out of my way
for my daughter to see that sheknows and I've talked to her
about this.
I mean I said before her gradesare insane, her work ethic is
insane.
But I remember I said to herone day I go, listen, the thing
that you need to do is you needto be pleasant, you need to be
(11:36):
able to get along with people.
I said because it doesn'tmatter and this is some of my
dadly advice that I annoy peoplewith I said you have the best
grades in the world.
You can have degrees fromeverywhere, like you can have,
like you know, masters and PhDs.
I go.
If nobody wants to work withyou, you're never going to be
successful.
You're never going to besuccessful.
You're not going to make anymoney.
You need to be able to getalong with people.
(11:57):
That's the most important thing.
I said there's things that youknow.
I've gotten work and I'veworked with different people on
projects that I know I'mprobably not the best one in the
world to do, but I'm easy towork with.
I'm humble.
I will apologize when I'm wrong.
I'll go out of my way to reallyjust show people that I'm doing
(12:18):
everything I can to help thesituation.
I'm not gruff.
I don't push things away.
I don't, you know, not takeresponsibility.
I don't pass the buck.
I do whatever I can to leteverybody know that when I'm
with you, whether it's personalor professional, I'm there a
hundred percent and I've watchedmy daughter grow into just an
(12:42):
amazing, amazing person.
I'll tell you this.
So, years ago, when we had said,you know, don't, don't write
about her, I was tellingsomebody about this.
I'm like, yeah, I don't reallywrite about Olivia.
I'm like, because, you know,she asked me not to and this
person asked me she goes when,when was the?
And I realized that I hadn't.
(13:03):
I had said things to her.
Like you know, I wish I couldwrite about you more.
You know, one day, maybe, whenyou're ready, but I would never
be like can I write about youthis week?
And I did.
She said yes.
I was so happy to share herwith you guys and to hear from
everybody about how she's grownBecause, just like Lucas man,
this blog has been around sinceFebruary 2017.
She was eight years old.
(13:24):
She's 17 now.
Lucas was five and he's 14.
So every week of my life, I'vewritten something about my life.
So you guys have grown with me.
You've watched these things.
I've taken podcast weeks offbefore not a ton, I mean since
2019, we have like 250 episodesbut I've never.
When it comes to the blog,there's never been a week I've
(13:45):
missed.
I've missed a day on a holidaySometimes, like on a Monday
holiday, I won't do it orsomething like that but, um,
every single week.
There's never been a missedweek.
So every single week of my life, you've seen it and you've
watched and you've seen howwe've grown and how we've
learned, um, and how we're therefor each other.
I'm so proud I, I really am.
(14:08):
I'm proud of the work thatwe've done and there's a lot to
this.
I know the blog is mostly aboutautism appreciation, because I
think that's one of the mostimportant things ever and it's
my duty to my son to be able toput him into a world that sees
him differently than I fearedthey would.
I mean, that's the whole goal,right, like, one day I'm going
to be dead.
My son's going to live in thisworld.
People are difficult to dealwith sometimes.
I want them to know.
(14:29):
This kid is amazing and if Ican do whatever I can now to use
my writing to be able to showpeople and talk about him and
tell people about him.
That's a win and that'ssomething that when I'm gone,
we'll be able to follow him.
But there's so much more to ourstory than that.
There's the idea of beingpositive.
There's my quintuple bypasswhen I was 35, which I am going
(14:51):
to talk about on here.
At some point I want to do aspecific audio just for it, just
kind of tell you guys a storyand bring you through everything
that went through with it.
But there's a lot of positivityand there's a lot of growth and
I feel like I've gone through alot of growth and I think one
of the most important thing inmy life has been to really
acknowledge it and to be proudof myself when good things
(15:13):
happen, because I'm I stillstruggle with that man.
I'm still trying to to talk tomyself in a better voice.
You know I've done this.
I've I've had moments wherelike, let's say, I'll misplace
something, I can't find my youknow bottle of water and I'm
like, oh you idiot, you can'teven find your bottle of water.
What the hell's wrong with you?
I'm saying this in my head andthen I'll realize it right Now.
This is, this is the first stepof kind of evolving and I'll go
(15:36):
.
I'll go to myself why do youtalk to yourself like that?
And now I feel enlightened.
Right, my God, I'm doing it.
I'm talking bad to myself,about talking bad to myself, and
then it becomes a cycle and youcan't get out of it.
I want to be happy and I findthat when I'm happy, my kids are
(15:59):
happy, my world is happy, Ifeel good, I don't feel stressed
out, and it's about, really,it's about how we feel about
ourselves.
It's about the people that wesurround ourselves with, because
the way you see yourself is howyou build your life.
Right, if you think of yourselfas kind of like angry, you're
going to find people like thatand you're going to put them
(16:20):
around you.
But if you say to yourself I'ma good person and I'm positive
and I'm there for the peoplearound me, you're going to find
somebody whether it's a friendagain, a relationship, anybody
in your circle that's positiveand that's good and that's
somebody that you want to beproud of yourself with.
It's important.
Yeah, and it's one of thosethings that this, especially
(16:43):
these last few weeks, I've beenthinking about it and you know,
being able to write about Oliviaand being able to do these
things, it's made me feel very,very proud of kind of what we
built here, and not just in theblog and things like that, but
my family.
I'm so proud of everybody.
As you guys know and maybe youdon't, because I get a lot of
questions about it If you Googleme it was one of the first
(17:03):
questions James Cuthbert married.
I'm divorced.
I got divorced years.
I got divorced while writingthis blog.
You know I was married when theblog began.
I got divorced in 2020 duringCOVID.
So it was a rough quarantine inthe house, but it changed my
(17:26):
life and it changed my setup.
I will tell you this I'm luckyin that.
You know my ex-wife and I weboth we share custody of the
kids.
I trust her to take care of thekids.
There's not really a lot ofissues here and there.
I mean, obviously, you knowwhen you go through a divorce,
there's going to be things backand forth.
What are you doing?
Why are you doing that?
But overall, like I know, Iknow they're fed.
(17:47):
I know they're.
They have a roof over theirhead.
I know their clothes.
You know it's the same thingwith me and sometimes that's
really the most important thingto know.
So that's a good thing.
But there's been changes andthere's been different things
that have just happened in mylife and I feel like at the end
of it I've popped out of it kindof a good person, a better
person for it, you know, andit's just been constant states
(18:07):
of evolving and I've writtenabout all of those evolutions.
I wrote about, you know, autismappreciation.
I wrote about going through thedivorce.
I wrote about my heart surgeryand even rewinding the clock.
I wrote about one of my bestfriends passing away in 2004, my
friend Chris.
I think about him every day.
Still, it was.
It was a very difficult passingand these things that we go
through that make us who we are.
(18:30):
And I'll tell you, man, I'vebeen through a lot.
I'm happy about who I am, I'mhappy about who my kids are and
I'm happy about the world thatwe've created for ourselves and
the people that we bring into it.
And everybody out therelistening right now you are some
of the people that we'vebrought into it.
You are some of the people thatwe've brought into it.
You are some of the people thatyou know.
I work for people that I wantto be able to either change your
(18:51):
opinion about autism, but atthe same time, I also want to be
able to tell you about my kid.
I want to be able to givepeople the resources they might
need to maybe send one of theseblogs to to their you know
in-laws or to you know their coworkers, like hey, you have
questions about my kid.
This, this blog, kind of talks alittle bit about a child
similar.
I want to put good out there, Iwant to do good things in the
(19:12):
world and, uh, and you guys haveallowed me to do that and
you've made me feel really goodabout myself.
This has been, uh, it's been, ajourney.
So, thank you.
Thank you for all the support,too, for high world.
I'm down the book right here,but a boom, it is out.
Uh, it is available.
I know there's a glitch, Ithink, on some of these sites
where they have the wrongrelease date, but june 19th it's
out.
Do me a favor, go to spotifyaudible.
You can listen to the what's itcalled?
(19:33):
Audiobook.
Audiobook that's available.
Um, just like tons of things toshare with you guys and I can't
thank you enough for all you'vedone to to really just I don't
know give my life a meaning thatI'm really proud of.
So thank you.
That does it for me.
I'm going to be back next Fridaywith a brand new edition of Hi
Pod I'm Dad.
We're going to be herethroughout the week.
(19:54):
Hi blog I'm Dad Monday,wednesday.
Follow me on social media.
We're posting more than ever.
It's on Instagram and onFacebook, and on threads.
I go on threads every once in awhile.
I have it.
Hi James Gutman H-I.
Hi James Gutman.
Come on, check it out.
Drop me a line.
Thank you so much for all yoursupport.
(20:14):
Thank you for all you guys havedone.
Until next week, this is JamesGutman saying be well, bye, pod,
I'm dead.
I'll see you next time.
I want apple juice.
Lucas wants apple juice.
I know I heard him say that.
Can I have apple juice?
Yeah, you can have apple juice.
Can I have soda?
Yes, you can have soda.
Can I press that button?
No, you can't press that button.
Why?
Because that's going to playthe theme song.
I'm not ready to start the pot.
(00:30):
Hi Pod, I am Dad.
He's not just Hi Dad, he's mydad.
James Gutman, folks, jamesGutman, it's Hi Pod, I'm Dad.
Welcome back to another editionof the podcast.
Thank you so much for findingme.
Whether you found me onhighpodomdadcom, audible,
(00:51):
spotify, iheart radio, you nameit, we're there.
Maybe on youtube you can see meat high blog I'm dad.
It is up midnight friday.
Every single week, brand newpodcast video cross the board.
New blogs highblogomdadcomMonday, wednesday.
Just I mean, we're overloaded.
Hi James Gutman on social mediaHI, james Gutman, you name it,
(01:12):
we got it.
I appreciate you guys taking thetime to check me out and to
follow the work that we do hereand the things that I write
about.
It's been a good week and I'lltell you about it.
For it's been a good week andI'll tell you about it For those
of you guys who've beenfollowing along.
You guys know that on WednesdayI got a chance to write about
my daughter and, for those whohave been around from the
beginning, we had one of our,one of the readers, amanda
(01:33):
Shreve.
She was one of the first peopleto do no-transcript.
He was young, he was firstemerging on his autism journey.
(01:57):
I was still worried about himrunning into traffic.
I was worried about him neverunderstanding me, never knowing
who I was, never acknowledgingme.
But her I got.
Olivia was my buddy.
She was my best friend man foryears.
She would come home from school, she would come into my office,
she would monopolize my time.
(02:17):
We would watch TV shows and theNext Step and the Brady Bunch
and just so many things.
And I knew then that one daythat was going to be different.
Not gone, I hesitate to saygone, because we still watch TV.
We're currently watchingSchitt's Creek when we get a
(02:37):
chance and we watch Big Brotherin the summer when we can.
So it doesn't necessarily goaway, but it's different, it's
not every day.
She can't be my best friendforever.
She has a life.
She's a teenager.
I was a teenager.
I have vivid memories of being17.
So when the blog first began, Iwould write about her a great
deal, and one of the things Iwrote and always stuck with me
was Let your Princess Grow Up.
(02:58):
And it was an article aboutthis commercial, this Subaru
commercial, where the father hashis daughter in the driver's
seat of the car.
She's like little and all of asudden, like in a blink of an
eye, she's like old enough todrive herself.
And I wrote about it back then,about how I knew that was
happening and when she's 17,it's going to happen and I get
it.
And now she's 17.
(03:20):
And now she drives.
And now she's a lady.
And you don't even realize itbecause you feel like your kids
are growing up.
Right, and if you're listeningto this and you have a kid who's
like 10, 11, 12, you think yourkid's growing up and you think
to yourself my God, look atthese pictures.
This isn't the baby I remember.
You have no idea the picturesthat you're seeing now In a
(03:41):
couple of years're going to lookback and be like look, how
little they were then.
And that happened with olivia.
Olivia is 17.
She had her junior prom and wetook pictures next to each other
and I'm like who are you?
How is this my kid, how is this?
My daughter?
You're a baby and I wouldalways write about that.
When I did get to write abouther, I would write about like,
(04:01):
how does the baby drive?
How does the baby there'salways a joke about that, but
it's true.
And for those of you guys whofollow the blog and you know the
evolution of the blog, I wroteabout her a lot in the beginning
and then slowly it started tomorph a little bit.
I wrote more and more aboutLucas.
I figured Lucas out a littlebit more.
I get Lucas, I understand Lucasnow, but also she was getting
(04:22):
older and she wanted her privacyand it was to the point where I
would want to write about herand I would go to her.
I go, I'm going to write thisarticle about you.
Let me send you some pictures.
You tell me which ones I coulduse and she would say no to all
of them and I'd be like do younot want me to write about you?
She'd be like no, you can airif they don't want to be on
there.
She wants me to write about herand she's cool with it.
(04:44):
Cool if she doesn't.
Never, you know.
That's why, even with lucas Iknow people listening to this go
.
What about your son?
He's non-verbal, he can't sayanything.
Yeah, but I do make sure thatthe things I write about lucas
if he was verbal, um, that hewould say no to I don't like.
You guys know, I don't writeabout you know potty, you know
bath time or things like that.
(05:04):
I mean, he's a 14 year old boy.
Whatever he does, whether,whether I do and this, and by me
saying that that isn't anadmission that I'm bathing him
or I'm helping him in thebathroom, I'm not saying
anything either way, becausethen that's part of the privacy.
You know, that's just something, that's just off limits.
I don't talk about that withhim.
I don't talk about so.
(05:26):
As the years went by, I wroteabout her less, but I never
stopped valuing her as one ofthe top people in my life and I
remember we've had ups and downsand we've had incidents, even
recently, where sometimes youhave to remind your kids of what
they mean to you.
You think we go through thisevery day and she sees what I do
(05:47):
and she sees that I dropeverything for her and I'll
drive her where she needs to goand I'll do these things for her
.
But sometimes they need to hearit.
So I remember we were in thecar and we're dealing with
insanity as life goes on, alltwisted as they say, and I said
to her I go listen.
I said, do you understandsomething?
I'm like I don't write aboutyou because you asked me not to,
(06:08):
okay.
I'm like, well, okay, but everysingle thing I write about
Lucas, that's you Like when I'mlike Lucas is the number one in
my life and he's I'm like,that's you.
I'm like I would throw someonein front of a speeding bus for
you and then pay them to backover the person again.
I would.
(06:29):
I mean, you talk about ride ordie in this family, like I've
got my kids backs.
And the reason why is because,especially with Olivia, I know
that every single thing she doesis with good intentions,
because I made this kid and Iraised this kid.
I know who she is and I'vewatched her go through life and
(06:49):
I've watched her become a betterperson.
And for those of you who don'tknow her, holy God, this kid,
she gets grades Like I can'teven like.
Imagine she goes back to me andshe's just like a 99.
I'm like what are you doing?
How do you have a 99 averagewhen I was a kid that wasn't
even like a thing.
It was like I was just tryingto like get through class, you
know.
I mean I was forging like likenotes and stuff.
Like it was bad.
(07:09):
Uh, as time went on it got alittle bad, um, but yeah, dude,
she works.
She has a work ethic like I'venever seen before and it's the
kind of thing where now I feellike I have a work ethic now.
But when I was her age I didn't.
So I don't know where kind ofit came from.
I guess it sprouted early.
She works so much likeconstantly working.
She has two jobs on her own.
(07:31):
Nobody makes her do anything.
I don't make her do anything,but she is my number one girl.
I have two kids, man.
I have a boy and I have a girl.
I have a neurotypical girl andI have a boy with nonverbal
autism.
The two of them are sodifferent.
It's so the same but really,like on paper, very different.
And it allows me to have thisunique relationship with both of
(07:54):
them where they both are numberone in their category Lucas and
I.
My son has a relationship withme, unlike I have with anybody
else.
I can look at Lucas and I cantalk.
I was on the phone the otherday with someone and, as I'm
talking to this person, lucas iswalking around and he wanted
food and stuff and I had anentire conversation with him
without saying it works, I don'tneed to.
(08:15):
I look over him on the phone,I'm listening, I'm like see,
this is one of the before I gointo this is one of the reasons
why you need to subscribe onYouTube, because I'm doing the
whole thing.
So just bear with me.
If you're on Spotify, if you'reon iPod, just just give me a
second.
So I look at Lucas and I go.
So I look at Lucas and I go.
(08:39):
And he left the room and hecame back and I gave him food.
Just to narrate it, I wastouching my mouth and doing all
sorts of hand motions and thingslike that.
So I'm allowed to have the mostunique relationships with both
of my kids.
Like Lucas is my number oneperson in that category.
There's nobody I have that kindof relationship with.
(09:01):
Olivia is a neurotypical kidand I have tons of neurotypical
relationships in my life and sheis number one in that category,
which means that basically, outof like 16 quintillion I don't
know how many people are onearth?
Man, I'm probably completelywrong.
Out of everybody on earth,olivia is number one in terms of
people who can talk in arelationship with me.
(09:22):
I don't know a lot of nonverbalpeople.
Lucas is number one for that.
But Lucas is unique in that Ican carry on these conversations
with him and we have this bondand we built these things
together that I've built withhim and I've never built with
anybody else.
I've built with him and I'venever built with anybody else.
I've never had the need to andI've never had the reason to and
(09:46):
I've never wanted to.
He's my guy, she's my girl,this is my family, and I wrote
in the thing man I have.
I've had people try to, you know, come between people, you know.
Try to, you know, make thingsmore about them than my kids.
And it's always been the samething.
Man, my kids come first and ifanybody's in my life, whether
it's a friend, whether it's arelationship, whatever it
happens to be, that person is apart of the group.
Right, you can be a part ofthis group.
(10:09):
You can't be above anybody orbelow anybody.
My kids aren't.
Olivia is not above Lucas.
Lucas is not above Olivia.
I'm not above any.
We're all part of the thing andthat's what I'm trying in my
life.
You want to find people whobelong there and, yeah, I want
my daughter to know that she'llalways come first and that
(10:30):
she'll always be somebody that Ivalue and dude.
As a dad, you know I'm kind of.
I mean you might be able totell from the blog and from the
things that I say and the thingsthat I write that I'm kind of
easygoing, I'm really easy toget along with.
If you don't get along with melike, you're pretty much
something with you, I try to bereally accommodating.
(10:50):
And the reason why I try to beaccommodating is because I want
it to be the type of situationwhere, if you don't like me or
if you have a problem with me, Iwant to know 100% oh, it's you,
it's not me.
So I don't like to do thingsthat like afterwards somebody's
like I don't like James Gunn,why?
Well, you know you call me aname or you did like.
I don't want them to havereasons that make sense.
I want their reasons to beweird.
So I want to be the type ofperson that puts better things
(11:16):
into the world than I take outof it.
So I go out of my way to bepositive and I go out of my way
for my daughter to see that sheknows and I've talked to her
about this.
I mean I said before her gradesare insane, her work ethic is
insane.
But I remember I said to herone day I go, listen, the thing
that you need to do is you needto be pleasant, you need to be
(11:36):
able to get along with people.
I said because it doesn'tmatter and this is some of my
dadly advice that I annoy peoplewith I said you have the best
grades in the world.
You can have degrees fromeverywhere, like you can have,
like you know, masters and PhDs.
I go.
If nobody wants to work withyou, you're never going to be
successful.
You're never going to besuccessful.
You're not going to make anymoney.
You need to be able to getalong with people.
(11:57):
That's the most important thing.
I said there's things that youknow.
I've gotten work and I'veworked with different people on
projects that I know I'mprobably not the best one in the
world to do, but I'm easy towork with.
I'm humble.
I will apologize when I'm wrong.
I'll go out of my way to reallyjust show people that I'm doing
(12:18):
everything I can to help thesituation.
I'm not gruff.
I don't push things away.
I don't, you know, not takeresponsibility.
I don't pass the buck.
I do whatever I can to leteverybody know that when I'm
with you, whether it's personalor professional, I'm there a
hundred percent and I've watchedmy daughter grow into just an
(12:42):
amazing, amazing person.
I'll tell you this.
So, years ago, when we had said,you know, don't, don't write
about her, I was tellingsomebody about this.
I'm like, yeah, I don't reallywrite about Olivia.
I'm like, because, you know,she asked me not to and this
person asked me she goes when,when was the?
And I realized that I hadn't.
(13:03):
I had said things to her.
Like you know, I wish I couldwrite about you more.
You know, one day, maybe, whenyou're ready, but I would never
be like can I write about youthis week?
And I did.
She said yes.
I was so happy to share herwith you guys and to hear from
everybody about how she's grownBecause, just like Lucas man,
this blog has been around sinceFebruary 2017.
She was eight years old.
(13:24):
She's 17 now.
Lucas was five and he's 14.
So every week of my life, I'vewritten something about my life.
So you guys have grown with me.
You've watched these things.
I've taken podcast weeks offbefore not a ton, I mean since
2019, we have like 250 episodesbut I've never.
When it comes to the blog,there's never been a week I've
(13:45):
missed.
I've missed a day on a holidaySometimes, like on a Monday
holiday, I won't do it orsomething like that but, um,
every single week.
There's never been a missedweek.
So every single week of my life, you've seen it and you've
watched and you've seen howwe've grown and how we've
learned, um, and how we're therefor each other.
I'm so proud I, I really am.
(14:08):
I'm proud of the work thatwe've done and there's a lot to
this.
I know the blog is mostly aboutautism appreciation, because I
think that's one of the mostimportant things ever and it's
my duty to my son to be able toput him into a world that sees
him differently than I fearedthey would.
I mean, that's the whole goal,right, like, one day I'm going
to be dead.
My son's going to live in thisworld.
People are difficult to dealwith sometimes.
I want them to know.
(14:29):
This kid is amazing and if Ican do whatever I can now to use
my writing to be able to showpeople and talk about him and
tell people about him.
That's a win and that'ssomething that when I'm gone,
we'll be able to follow him.
But there's so much more to ourstory than that.
There's the idea of beingpositive.
There's my quintuple bypasswhen I was 35, which I am going
(14:51):
to talk about on here.
At some point I want to do aspecific audio just for it, just
kind of tell you guys a storyand bring you through everything
that went through with it.
But there's a lot of positivityand there's a lot of growth and
I feel like I've gone through alot of growth and I think one
of the most important thing inmy life has been to really
acknowledge it and to be proudof myself when good things
(15:13):
happen, because I'm I stillstruggle with that man.
I'm still trying to to talk tomyself in a better voice.
You know I've done this.
I've I've had moments wherelike, let's say, I'll misplace
something, I can't find my youknow bottle of water and I'm
like, oh you idiot, you can'teven find your bottle of water.
What the hell's wrong with you?
I'm saying this in my head andthen I'll realize it right Now.
This is, this is the first stepof kind of evolving and I'll go
(15:36):
.
I'll go to myself why do youtalk to yourself like that?
And now I feel enlightened.
Right, my God, I'm doing it.
I'm talking bad to myself,about talking bad to myself, and
then it becomes a cycle and youcan't get out of it.
I want to be happy and I findthat when I'm happy, my kids are
(15:59):
happy, my world is happy, Ifeel good, I don't feel stressed
out, and it's about, really,it's about how we feel about
ourselves.
It's about the people that wesurround ourselves with, because
the way you see yourself is howyou build your life.
Right, if you think of yourselfas kind of like angry, you're
going to find people like thatand you're going to put them
(16:20):
around you.
But if you say to yourself I'ma good person and I'm positive
and I'm there for the peoplearound me, you're going to find
somebody whether it's a friendagain, a relationship, anybody
in your circle that's positiveand that's good and that's
somebody that you want to beproud of yourself with.
It's important.
Yeah, and it's one of thosethings that this, especially
(16:43):
these last few weeks, I've beenthinking about it and you know,
being able to write about Oliviaand being able to do these
things, it's made me feel very,very proud of kind of what we
built here, and not just in theblog and things like that, but
my family.
I'm so proud of everybody.
As you guys know and maybe youdon't, because I get a lot of
questions about it If you Googleme it was one of the first
(17:03):
questions James Cuthbert married.
I'm divorced.
I got divorced years.
I got divorced while writingthis blog.
You know I was married when theblog began.
I got divorced in 2020 duringCOVID.
So it was a rough quarantine inthe house, but it changed my
(17:26):
life and it changed my setup.
I will tell you this I'm luckyin that.
You know my ex-wife and I weboth we share custody of the
kids.
I trust her to take care of thekids.
There's not really a lot ofissues here and there.
I mean, obviously, you knowwhen you go through a divorce,
there's going to be things backand forth.
What are you doing?
Why are you doing that?
But overall, like I know, Iknow they're fed.
(17:47):
I know they're.
They have a roof over theirhead.
I know their clothes.
You know it's the same thingwith me and sometimes that's
really the most important thingto know.
So that's a good thing.
But there's been changes andthere's been different things
that have just happened in mylife and I feel like at the end
of it I've popped out of it kindof a good person, a better
person for it, you know, andit's just been constant states
(18:07):
of evolving and I've writtenabout all of those evolutions.
I wrote about, you know, autismappreciation.
I wrote about going through thedivorce.
I wrote about my heart surgeryand even rewinding the clock.
I wrote about one of my bestfriends passing away in 2004, my
friend Chris.
I think about him every day.
Still, it was.
It was a very difficult passingand these things that we go
through that make us who we are.
(18:30):
And I'll tell you, man, I'vebeen through a lot.
I'm happy about who I am, I'mhappy about who my kids are and
I'm happy about the world thatwe've created for ourselves and
the people that we bring into it.
And everybody out therelistening right now you are some
of the people that we'vebrought into it.
You are some of the people thatwe've brought into it.
You are some of the people thatyou know.
I work for people that I wantto be able to either change your
(18:51):
opinion about autism, but atthe same time, I also want to be
able to tell you about my kid.
I want to be able to givepeople the resources they might
need to maybe send one of theseblogs to to their you know
in-laws or to you know their coworkers, like hey, you have
questions about my kid.
This, this blog, kind of talks alittle bit about a child
similar.
I want to put good out there, Iwant to do good things in the
(19:12):
world and, uh, and you guys haveallowed me to do that and
you've made me feel really goodabout myself.
This has been, uh, it's been, ajourney.
So, thank you.
Thank you for all the support,too, for high world.
I'm down the book right here,but a boom, it is out.
Uh, it is available.
I know there's a glitch, Ithink, on some of these sites
where they have the wrongrelease date, but june 19th it's
out.
Do me a favor, go to spotifyaudible.
You can listen to the what's itcalled?
(19:33):
Audiobook.
Audiobook that's available.
Um, just like tons of things toshare with you guys and I can't
thank you enough for all you'vedone to to really just I don't
know give my life a meaning thatI'm really proud of.
So thank you.
That does it for me.
I'm going to be back next Fridaywith a brand new edition of Hi
Pod I'm Dad.
We're going to be herethroughout the week.
(19:54):
Hi blog I'm Dad Monday,wednesday.
Follow me on social media.
We're posting more than ever.
It's on Instagram and onFacebook, and on threads.
I go on threads every once in awhile.
I have it.
Hi James Gutman H-I.
Hi James Gutman.
Come on, check it out.
Drop me a line.
Thank you so much for all yoursupport.
(20:14):
Thank you for all you guys havedone.
Until next week, this is JamesGutman saying be well, bye, pod,
I'm dead.
I'll see you next time.
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