May 10, 2025 • 40 mins
Welcome to the official launch of Hidden Chapters!
This first interview episode is deeply personal—it’s not just the beginning of the podcast, it’s a celebration of Mother’s Day, my 45th birthday, and the woman whose quiet strength made all of it possible: my mom!!
For the FIRST time ever, she shares her side of the story-her journey into motherhood, the unexpected challenges she faced, and the life changing choices she made with courage and love. We talk about the moment she found out she was pregnant with me, the weight of that reality, and the quiet strength it took to raise me through it all.
I’m so honored she chose to tell her story here-with me!
This episode is a tribute to the unseen courage so many women carry, and a reminder that the stories we often keep hidden are sometimes the ones that shape us the most.
Thank you for being here for this incredible beginning!
What you'll learn from Mom:
- Motherhood can come unexpectedly and change one's life trajectory.
- Societal pressures can heavily influence personal decisions, especially for single mothers.
- Support from family and friends is crucial during challenging times.
- Balancing personal ambitions with motherhood is a continuous journey.
- Finding love can bring new hope and stability to a family.
- Military life presents unique challenges for families, especially during deployments.
- Pursuing education as a parent can be daunting but rewarding.
- Understanding one's identity and background is important for personal growth.
- Family is defined by love and support, not just biological connections.
- The journey of motherhood is filled with both challenges and profound joys.
What we talked about:
00:00 The Unexpected Journey Begins
04:56 Navigating Early Motherhood
07:49 Balancing Motherhood and Personal Ambitions
11:13 The Challenges of Military Life
14:07 Finding Love and Building a Family
16:55 Pursuing Education Amidst Chaos
23:12 Understanding Identity and Family
32:11 Reflections on Motherhood and Life Lessons
39:48 Dedication to Mothers on Mother's Day
Special Dedication:
The song that my mom kept for us:
“You and me against the world” By Helen
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Background Music: "In Time" by Fo
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Genevieve (00:00):
Birthdays and Mother's Day have always meant a
lot to me.
One's a celebration of the lifeI've lived so far, and the
other honors the woman who madethat life possible.
And for as long as I canremember, those two days have
been beautifully connected.
My birthday is May 10th, and mygrandma's was May 11th.
With Mother's Day alwayslanding right around that time,
(00:23):
it became a time when the threeof us, my mom, my grandma, and
me, got to celebrate together.
Those moments are some of myfavorite memories.
This year, as I launch HiddenChapters, I'm realizing just how
deeply those days are tiedtogether.
Because so much of who I am, somuch of my story has been
(00:45):
shaped by my mom's story,especially the parts she kept
tucked away, the ones that camebefore I was even born.
Today, I'm sharing a piece ofher story, one that's also mine,
It's a story about quietstrength, about the choices she
made without a lot of support orrecognition, and the kind of
(01:06):
steady love that you feel evenwhen it's not spoken out loud.
And maybe by telling it here,we can finally give voice to the
parts of our story that havebeen the background for a long
time.
Before I even came into thisworld, my mom went through
something no one should have toexperience.
She's a survivor of rape.
(01:28):
and became pregnant.
And even in the face ofsomething so traumatic, she made
the choice to keep going.
But her story isn't about whathappened.
It's about what she did withit.
It's about how she found herway through the hardest parts.
How she became a mom, raised meon her own, and figured out who
(01:49):
she was along the way.
She's a big part of the reasonI am who I am today.
Her journey is woven into minein so many ways.
Now that you've heard a littlebit about my mom's incredible
journey, let's take a step backto where it all began.
So mom, I know this is a deeplypersonal subject, but with what
(02:14):
you're comfortable with, couldyou share what it was like when
you first found out you werepregnant with me?
So what was going through yourmind?
How did you navigate that timein your life?
Mom (02:26):
I would say that what went through my mind was a menagerie
of different things.
My life is over.
I'm not worth anything.
I've had to hide.
I had plans and I felt likethose plans are gone.
And I was ostracized because inthe 80s, it still was not
(02:49):
acceptable to have a woman whois a single mom, let alone you
never talk about those that arevictims.
They are silent.
And how I navigated it wasdifficult.
a very sketchy way.
Sometimes I think that I canbeat it, but on shaky legs.
(03:10):
Sometimes I said, forget it.
And I thought, should I end mylife?
Should I secretly get anabortion?
You know, how can I do this?
I have no money.
I didn't get to finish mycollege.
That was my ambition.
And so I I come full circle andsay, okay, that's it.
(03:34):
I didn't reach that crescendoof my life that I wanted to.
So there's a lot of confusionand it takes a long time.
It's something that is alifetime that what goes in your
mind.
And then you'll go back andyou'll say, well, was this right
to do?
Was this right to do?
Looking back now, it was theright thing to do, right?
(03:59):
Having a child, I never wantedto have a child because I saw
how my parents were.
My parents fighting all thetime and there was five of us.
And so when this unexpected,and I'll say gift from God came
along, I was not sure what itwas for.
It's like somebody gives you agift and there's no occasion.
(04:21):
But with me, Jen, you wereautomatically loved, And
protected by grandpa, who was astaunch Christian and fell into
the, you know, thou shall notkill.
Genevieve (04:40):
Right.
And that's what I was going toget into is that, you know, the
decision came because grandpadid not believe in abortion.
Mom (04:48):
I needed guidance because I could have so easily...
been prompted to go and have anabortion because society would
not look up to me.
The society would look down onme if I didn't, because here I
am, a single woman that has achild.
And so that was my firstthought.
And another is, I don't knowhow to take care of a child.
(05:11):
And then your grandpa and yourgrandma, they were a lot of help
in ways, but then they keptover my head you are a christian
you know thou shall not killand so my father right away got
into the point where yes we willhouse you yes we will support
(05:32):
you yes you will be in thishouse yes that's my grandchild
so that helped a lot but at thesame time they locked me and
then you eventually in thisivory tower we couldn't go any
place without telling them wherewe're going and they thought
that okay this is the end of herlife we'll just keep her in the
(05:52):
ivory tower she'll be fedshe'll be you know safe but
there was no more life
Genevieve (05:57):
so then raising a child without obviously a
partner was not going to be easyfor you so what was it like in
those early years with youraising me and obviously those
moments where you feltoverwhelmed how did you manage
through those feelings?
Mom (06:13):
Well, I have to give a lot of credit to your uncle who is
not with us anymore.
He championed you from thevery, very start and told me,
look, there are two victims hereand you're both innocent.
And he never judged me.
(06:33):
He was always there, you know,and when you were born and
Sometimes he'd stay over.
And I was overwhelmed at nightbecause a baby doesn't sleep all
the way through night.
There's feedings to happen andchanging of diapers.
And I was worried that when youwere crying, oh, this is going
(06:54):
to wake up grandpa.
Because, you know, he was avery staunch father, you know,
and very strict when I wasgrowing up.
But then here is your uncle.
And sometimes your aunt wouldcome in and help.
And your mom, your grandmawould help sometimes.
And we got into a system lateron, but it was mostly me.
(07:16):
And, you know, I had to dealwith that sleepless nights and
then feedings and learning.
I actually got a book, but itwas Dr.
Spock.
That was one of the foremostexperts back then of how to
raise a child, you know, andabout Diaper rash and things
(07:39):
like that.
And that's how I learned.
And from my background of mydays in college, because I was
in medical school, I did learnsome things there.
But it was something like,okay, this is a new thing to me
now.
But at the same time, I've leftwho I was.
I'm a different person now.
That young college girl isgone.
(08:02):
This one who has to eithersurvive because she's If I don't
survive, how can my childsurvive?
So now I had to survive for meso that you would survive.
And if I don't kick in all ofthe things that I'm supposed to
do, then we're both doomed.
Because I always saw myself asa failure.
(08:22):
I cannot be a failure as amother.
And slowly but surely, youbrought a lot of sunshine in
that old home.
Because when I was a kidgrowing up, there wasn't much of
that.
And you charmed everybody,including your grandpa and your
grandma and your uncle and youraunt, you know, and me.
Genevieve (08:46):
So how did you balance now a mom, but you still
had that drive to be thatindividual?
So obviously I know the story,but explain how you were able to
balance being a mom and stillhave something for you.
I
Mom (09:03):
was barely 21.
So keep in mind the youth.
the things that I wanted to do.
And through time, you know, Iwas thinking, maybe we can still
do this.
And I count that maybe as agift from God because he gave me
another oomph when I thoughteverything was gone.
(09:24):
And I just decided that if Idon't survive and if I don't
make something of myself, whatwill happen to my daughter?
My mother and father will notbe here forever.
And I don't know what houseI'll be living in.
I have got to do something forme eventually will be beneficial
(09:44):
for you.
Genevieve (09:45):
And
Mom (09:46):
I figured I can do this because in my culture, it's
like, oh, you can't do anything.
You're a woman.
You need a man.
No, I was prepared to be thatsingle mother who can make it.
But then it was going to be along road because I did not have
the finances.
I didn't have the tuition to goback.
(10:07):
And there wasn't anybody who'sgoing to take care of you.
So it was either survive orjust go six feet under.
And I saw it as you and I now,and there was a song way back by
Helen Reddy called you and Iagainst the world.
And that's how I saw it, youknow, and it, the song is, At
(10:29):
the end of it, it had a littlegirl saying, I love you, mommy.
And then she said, I love youtoo.
That became one of myinspirations.
I go, I can make this.
And I know that I'm not theonly one.
So I had to go back
Genevieve (10:46):
and I need to go back and listen to that.
I don't know that I actuallyheard that song.
Mom (10:50):
Yeah.
Helen Reddy.
Okay.
I'll go back and look at thatagainst the world.
Genevieve (10:54):
Yeah.
So fast forward.
Here you are.
You were going through nursing.
taking me in tow.
You want to share just one ofthose of your challenges of
going through nursing class andhaving me?
Mom (11:10):
Well, actually, the nursing school was prior to you,
prior to anything.
And so I When I finally hadyou, I didn't have the money to
continue the three and a halfyears of the nursing, so I
wanted to get to somethingcloser.
There were some free programsfor individuals that they can
(11:33):
get a six-month to aneight-month to a year training
and then eventually get a job.
Well, I figured I had a medicalbackground, so I was going to
go for this program called theBiomedical Lab Technician.
which is basically a long wordfor phlebotomy.
And so there were times thatyour grandma would not, she
wanted to be able to go to hersenior citizen and sing and
(11:55):
things like that.
She goes, well, I'm not goingto take care of her.
And so I had this fold up, theycalled it an umbrella stroller.
It wasn't anything big, put youin it and walked.
And it was up a hill going, Ican't even say how much, you
know, it was, but it was, it wasa walk.
And, um, I'd take you to class.
(12:17):
And I had a friend of mine who,when I had the test going on,
she would go out and take thestroller and roll you around.
And then I'd say, okay, thankyou.
And I would take over afterthat.
And it's friends like thatbecause people need people, but
you need good people, not thosethat are going to cheat you,
(12:37):
harm you, or mislead you.
And she was good.
And that's how I did it.
I'm going to do whatever I needto do.
And it felt like you and meagainst the world.
So I had that friend help me.
Genevieve (12:55):
Yeah, I love hearing that story.
Okay, so a couple more years.
You met dad when I was young.
And I know he's the only dad Iever care to know that he's
daddy to me.
Can you tell me about meetinghim and what it was like
bringing him into our lives?
Mom (13:14):
Well, he came in November.
I forget the year, 81, 81.
He came because he was trainingin Vandenberg, which was about
five hours away from where wewere, and it was upstate.
And he came to visit becausehis brother was out there.
(13:38):
And so we wanted to show oursupport because, you know, his
brother is my brother-in-law.
And so he came out and all ofthe things I heard about him
from my older sister, oh, he'sgreat.
He, you know, graduate of amilitary college and he's done
this and he's done that.
I felt really beneath himbecause I had ambitions of going
(14:02):
to college.
So I was very like upfront, youknow, I'm going to just keep my
distance and I'm not hiding mydaughter.
Because you lived and that'syour home, grandma, and you had
full reign.
You could sit on grandpa'schair, have all of the, you
know, remote controls that youwant and just running around
everywhere.
I said, I'm not going to puther in a closet.
Why?
This is my home.
(14:23):
I said, and whoop-dee-doo, goodfor him.
He's, you know, accomplished.
But I was really jealous that,you know, I wasn't in that
category.
I said, I was just a single momtrying to make it, you know.
And so when I met him, I had alittle bit of, Back up that I'm
not going to let you in myfortress.
But he was kind.
(14:44):
He was kind.
He was down to earth, veryhumble, and did everything that
we would do.
You know, if we had somecultural food, he wasn't going,
ew, what is that?
He was there.
He's going, oh, yeah, I'll tryit.
And he picked you up.
Your dad picked you up.
And the moment that he pickedyou up, you just looked at him
(15:05):
and then put your head on hisshoulder.
And I thought, hmm.
OK, but I wasn't looking foranybody.
But I said one day when I dofind someone, if I find
somebody, he is going to have toaccept us both.
I won't have it any other way,you know.
So when I met him, I didn'tthink anything of it, but he
(15:25):
kept coming back.
So he came back each time andhe had these little.
tricks that he was, Oh, can Icome over?
Because, you know, I left mytennis shoes at your house and
that's a five hour drive to getsome measly, dirty tennis shoes,
but he did it, you know?
And yeah, it was a, it probablywould say it's a whirlwind
(15:48):
romance.
If anything, you know, I didn'tdislike him, but then I really
was holding my guard up at thetime.
Yeah.
Genevieve (15:56):
So you and dad got married in September.
I was two.
And then dad got stationed inKansas.
So you automatically became amilitary spouse.
So as a military spouse, weknow how life is incredibly
challenging, just being in themilitary, but being a military
spouse now too.
(16:17):
And dad moved us to Kansas, ofall places, coming from
California.
So talk about now raising me,but now having two more
children.
And what that was like nowhaving three kids and dad was
gone on alerts and othertrainings.
So you were by yourself a lotand how you managed to keep all
(16:39):
that together.
Cause now you've got a wholenother season and challenge in
life.
Mom (16:43):
Well, I had to kind of get over the fact that, Oh, I'm not
worthless.
And if someone wants to marryme and your, your grandparents
were thrilled because theirculture says, Oh, you need a
man.
And, um, When I realized, youknow, yeah, he is military.
And even though it's adifferent branch, because I'm a
(17:05):
military brat.
My father was in the Navy 25years.
And, you know, he was veryproud of being a sailor.
And where I lived, there wasnothing but sailors and Marines.
So I thought, I can handlethis.
I can handle this.
And so when we went to Kansas,it wasn't only that.
It was it wasn't.
california anymore we're inkansas total you know and so it
(17:30):
it was really bad because theywere prejudiced then and i tried
going into a ceramic store andi only got but two feet from the
doorway and i called themchurch ladies church ladies
looked at me like get out of ourstore or we will kill you so i
walked back out daddy wasn'twith me we only had one car So I
(17:50):
said, I've walked before.
I've done it with Jen.
So it wasn't too far away fromthe apartments.
And now I was by myself.
We used to have this housewhere my mom was and my dad.
And you were running around.
And my brother would come by.
But in Kansas, I had no one.
And I was on the third floor.
And good old dad, he didn'ttell me until after we were
(18:14):
married, I've got to sit youdown.
Well, you know what I really doin the Air Force is I'm a
missile launch officer, and wehave to be out there eight times
a month.
I said, oh, well, okay, becauseI thought he'd come home at
night.
No, he didn't come home atnight.
Eight times I was by myself,and that's not counting for
(18:35):
those who understand TDYs andinspections outside of the base
and going to the headquartersbase in Nebraska.
So I was left alone.
So it was you and me, and youhad to adjust because Grandma
wasn't there, and they spoiledyou rotten, and I didn't have
(18:55):
all of the ideas of what youhad, but...
You did have a nice room,that's for sure, because Daddy
had prepared it and we preparedit.
I said, do you think aqueen-sized bed's too big for a
one-year-old?
But you had all your stuffedanimals all around you.
And Dad took in right away ashis very own.
And I had to deal withmarriage, being without my
(19:19):
parents because they were mybackup, and then learning to
live in Kansas where the sundied.
barely shines and the winterswere so cold and this
Californian just never reallysaw snow before.
And so I had to adjust to that.
And in me, I said, in order tovalidate me, I need to give this
(19:45):
man a child.
I needed to give him a child tovalidate our marriage.
But more importantly, I did notwant you to be alone.
Because I come from one out offive, even though we fought a
lot, we had each other.
And I remember you were verylittle and you brought out your
(20:06):
little porcelain tea set out inthe porch with the girls right
next door.
And I thought, oh, how nice.
Let me go get some littlecookies that I can put and they
can play, you know, tea, teatime.
I come back out and you're intears and the girls were saying
something about you.
And I said, go home.
I said, how dare you?
Because they were picking onyou.
And I said, I can't have this.
(20:28):
I got to have other childrenwith you to champion you.
But I had a miscarriage beforeyour brother came out.
And that's why it took up to85.
So that's why the distancebetween you.
But I absolutely loved it.
(20:49):
Once I got a routine, Iabsolutely loved it.
Being a mom of young kids.
You guys did some stuff thatwere crazy, but then what
parenthood is not going to havesuch things?
I mean, you guys would ruin theliving room, but that's what
kids do.
And you would make all kinds ofentertainment because...
(21:13):
winters were harsh out there attimes.
I learned how to drive on ice,which I'm still scared of.
I learned how to shovel snowaway from the driveway.
And I learned about snowsuitsthat you guys had to put, you
know, and making sure that ifyou're going to go out and make
a snowman, come in every once ina while because you're sweating
(21:35):
and You could catch a cold.
And so I actually liked it.
And then I realized, because Ireally never, ever really
thought about it, is your dad'srank.
You know, oh, I'm married to anofficer.
Duh.
You know, because my father wasenlisted.
And that was a whole new can ofworms.
A whole
Genevieve (21:54):
other conversation that, yep.
Mom (21:55):
Yes.
And, you know, I thought, oh,yeah, I'm a military brat.
I can handle this as a militaryspouse.
Sure.
You know, but then when weended up living together, And we
were the most, the lower rankof the rank.
We ended up living just nextdoor to three colonels.
I go, that's nerve wracking.
I didn't like that because weweren't colonels.
(22:17):
And so I was happy about that.
And I got to adjust wellbecause the military life I knew
of.
When I was a kid, we were onmilitary base before and, you
know, we would play around thereand I felt it to be safe.
And I was actually verythankful that we were on base
(22:38):
and not outside because we hadquite a few with those that are
not so kind.
So
Genevieve (22:46):
we moved from Kansas to the next state over,
Missouri.
And Was that around the timewhen you had made the decision
to go back to school?
Because I remember, of course,that was that time that you were
up late at night going toschool and then we would be
three of us hand in hand as wewere going on campuses with you.
(23:09):
So explain that and how thatdecision came about and how that
season in time was goingthrough getting a degree, having
three of us and doing it alone.
Mom (23:20):
I had...
found out that there were whatthey call satellite schools on
base.
But I was also waiting for atleast two of you out of the
three that can walk and talk.
I said, and I don't know, bythe grace of God, the schedule
was good because sometimes I'dhave a night class and dad would
(23:43):
be home.
I said, that's good.
You know, they said, oh, youcan go to the university, blah,
blah, blah.
Oh yeah?
How far is that?
Oh, just about five hour drive.
No, can't do it.
I said, I've got kids and mykids come first.
I said, I have this hunkeringof this dream to finish because,
you know, I can add to ourincome and I can be something
(24:08):
that I've always wanted to be.
And I had a personal vendetta.
That personal vendetta wasyou're not going to beat me.
I am still standing and I'mgoing to get this.
I tried looking into nursing,but then I started thinking
about all of the hardship I hadas a nursing student.
My hat's off to medicalstudents.
(24:28):
It's difficult.
So I went to the next thing.
I went to business.
And your dad has a businessdegree.
I read, hmm, a Pell Grant.
I thought, it's worth a try.
I had a station wagon.
I put all three of you guysthere and it was a 17 mile drive
(24:51):
to what they call State FairCommunity College.
And I took you guys there.
I was talking to a counselorand she said, well, only under
these stipulations could youhave this Pell Grant.
Your husband is an officer,blah, blah, blah.
And I said, well, my husband isin school too, going for his
master's.
(25:11):
And she said, oh, that's it.
The little glitch goes two, Twostudents at the same time.
I didn't realize you had
Genevieve (25:18):
an under school that time frame.
I forgot about
Mom (25:20):
that.
Yeah.
And so I said, sign me up.
So I got the Pell Grant and myassociate's degree was all free.
My books, my tuition.
And I had three of you guys.
And the woman said, that's veryadmirable.
She says, you got these threekids.
I said, I'll make it work.
So I feel like that inspirationwas coming from God.
(25:42):
He says, now I'm picking youback up.
And so I started to getinspired and I came home and all
of you guys, we went to mommyschool.
And then later when you got alittle bit older, you would make
me the international coffeesthat I needed at night.
And I said, thanks, Jen.
And no matter what concoction,whether it was too much sugar or
(26:06):
whatever, I drank it because Iwas in the zone to try to learn.
Genevieve (26:11):
You put all of us to bed.
But then I would go to thekitchen and that little box had
the, you know, the
Mom (26:18):
granule.
Yeah, they had all kinds offlavors.
So I would do the
Genevieve (26:20):
hot water and mix that up for you.
And then you'd be by lamplightwith the note cards talking to
yourself.
Mom (26:26):
Talking to myself, yeah.
That's what
Genevieve (26:27):
I remember, of course, you know.
Mom (26:29):
Yeah, your brother woke up, he was like, Mommy, who are
you talking to?
I said, oh, I'm just talking tomyself.
Go back to bed.
I'm good.
So that was kind
Genevieve (26:36):
of that inspiration, too, as to why I went to
school.
Because, I mean, you and Dadboth did it.
And you both had these...
Beautiful knuckle to knucklering.
So when I was ready forcollege, that's what I wanted.
I said, I want to go to schooltoo.
So
Mom (26:48):
yeah, I was telling dad, I said, it's not for any other
reason, but to, you know, settlea score, because it was a
vendetta that you will not knockme down.
I'm talking about my history ofpast.
And I found out that my brainwas much better in my early 30s
than it was in the 20s.
My grades got better.
(27:10):
And I graduated with honors allthe way through.
When I got my bachelor's andthen my master's, I was able to
think, you know, and I think itwas because now my life was in a
good spot.
Genevieve (27:25):
Yeah.
Mom (27:25):
I have a loving husband.
Genevieve (27:27):
I
Mom (27:27):
have my children that crack me up because of the
things that you guys say and do.
And I was just happy.
And I was starting to learnmore about God and getting to
the word a lot more.
We would go to church everySunday because I was insistent
upon that.
So that was all in the spotwhere it should be.
(27:51):
And that was the perfect time.
time.
My mind was settled and God wasthere, you know, in spite of us
having to be away from home, wemade it work and you guys made
it work, you know, and you, youwent to the school on base.
So I knew you were safe.
And then eventually yourbrother went to school on base
(28:11):
and we had the third child and,you know, she was just a little
baby at the time.
So, yeah.
Genevieve (28:17):
So obviously I hadn't known up until this point
about my background.
Yeah.
But being that Daddy is a verytall, white Scottish man, and I
don't look anything like Dad, Iknow that the questions were
going to eventually come out whyI don't look like him.
Because I know that when Istarted to go to school, and
that was around that time I wasgetting picked up for
appointments, for doctor'sappointments, if Dad came in, it
(28:39):
would throw people off like,that's your dad?
So I think that was rightaround 10, I remember, was when
that time frame, I started toquestion, well, why don't I look
like Dad?
And that's where you felt likeit was the time to tell me.
So I know that for me, thatbeing 10, that's a lot to take
in.
Because then, you know, I knowwe talk about this later, but
(29:02):
you told me at 10.
And then I think it wasn'tuntil I was 32 that I asked
again about my backgroundbecause I was already pregnant
with Izzy.
And I went to the doctor.
And then, of course, thedoctor's asking my history on
both my family.
And I could always say, oh, mymom had this history and her
background and my dad.
Well.
Actually, I can't claim dadbecause biologically there's no
(29:25):
blood.
So I think those are the firsttwo times in my life when I
think about it because I doforget.
Those were the two times in mylife where I really remember I
needed to go back and go, okay,mom, hold on.
You got to give me a little bitmore detail.
So 10 was the first time.
So what was that like, that
Mom (29:43):
time frame?
Back up just a little bit.
I had spoken briefly to dadabout it and dad was against you
knowing because it, to him, itfelt like she's mine, you know?
But yeah, I mean, I said, shekeeps asking.
I said, because the other kidsare constantly saying, you know,
(30:05):
that's your dad or things likethat.
She keeps asking.
And I said, she's going to haveto know sometime, but I wanted
to make sure that you were,mature enough to get it.
But I said, but she's alreadyasking because you're a very
smart girl.
I mean, you did all kinds ofthings.
You do things behind my backlike packing clothes when I put
(30:30):
you in those ugly plaid pants.
They were ugly.
They were ugly.
And I thought, you know,they're warm, you know, they're
warm, they're woolen, but theywere like a plaid red pair of
pants.
And Then you'd come home andI'd say, wait a minute, did I
dress you in that?
And you would act it yourself.
(30:50):
So for a kid that's smart likethat, 10 years old, yeah, your
mind was already thinking.
I mean, and like I said, andI'm not saying this just because
I'm your mom, but you're verysmart.
So I had to tell you, I said itdid break my heart and it broke
dad's heart because he feltlike, oh, she's no longer mine.
But I had to remind him thatanybody can be a father.
(31:14):
anyone but it takes a specialman to be a dad and without
hesitation you know he he tookyou on and um adopted you and
and today that's not unusualthat's not unusual but it was we
were at the cusp of computerscoming out the generation yeah
(31:35):
generation of okay she's out ofwedlock so we were just at the
cusp of it and um now it's nobig deal it shouldn't have been
a big deal but um So what
Genevieve (31:44):
was the hardest part about sharing that information?
You said dad was against it,but what was maybe the hardest
part?
Mom (32:02):
Where do I belong?
Why am I like this?
And then I thought, I washesitant.
I said, would she ask about theother?
Because that's a painfulsubject.
And the more I get older, themore I can push it back and just
live my life with my childrenand my husband in peace.
So we didn't really know how itwould turn out, but we did know
(32:27):
that eventually you'd need toknow and it was your right to
know your beginnings.
And I
Genevieve (32:32):
think it was interesting.
You asked me this as we wereprepping for this.
You asked me if I ever wonderedabout that other side.
And honestly, I really don't.
I mean, still to this day, I'mgoing to be 45.
I never wondered about that.
I just always, growing up,remember you saying, well, God
took care of that.
So I always just, I reallyhonestly didn't remember it.
I never had a wonder.
(32:53):
And dad is the only dad that Iknow.
And I've never had a...
issue to know that other halfof me because of the fact that
we said before I was so lovedfrom the very beginning and so
accepted that it was never, thatportion about me was never an
(33:14):
issue.
But I just, I never wonderedand I still don't ever wonder
and have no curiosity to findany bit of that other half.
If anything, I'm just curiousto say, okay, how much more of
the culture mix do I have?
Is there more Spanish?
Is there more Filipino?
Is there more, you know,
Mom (33:31):
that's more the curiosity that I have.
Polynesian, which you do have.
What's my
Genevieve (33:36):
background?
Mom (33:37):
The most important thing that we think of, because like I
said, when I started off, Mymindset was, ooh, what will
people think?
And so maybe you were thinking,ooh, maybe people will look at
me differently.
But the most important thing isthey don't matter.
What matters is that you'reloved by your mother and father
and your siblings and that youdo have a lineage.
(34:00):
You have cousins and uncles andaunts on my side.
And you have your adoptivecousins, you know, as well.
And they've never, ever...
said, oh, wait a minute, youknow, we never have.
Family doesn't necessarily meanDNA.
Family can be, you know,whoever is there for you, who
(34:20):
really truly cares about you andloves you and will not hurt
you.
Well, sometimes family can hurtyou no matter what, but it's
what we identify with, you know,and the biggest thing is if God
loves you, who can be againstyou?
Yeah.
And that's how I survived withthe Lord Jesus Christ.
(34:41):
You know, I couldn't have hadit any other way.
So
Genevieve (34:45):
looking back on everything that you've been
through, of course, now raisingme, navigating that military
life, pursuing the degree,finding love, how would you
describe the journey and the biglessons that you've taken from
the life so far?
Mom (34:59):
I've been able to do some things.
I love to travel.
Those are the good parts.
We're going to all have trialssometimes.
But we can't dwell on thosetrials and we can't dwell on the
arguments because that willbring up a cancer in your
spirit.
You just try to remember thegood times and go on because God
wants us to continue to go on.
(35:20):
I didn't really reach that kindof career, if you will.
It didn't go the way that Ithought, but they always say
that God has a better plan thanyou have for yourself.
And for some reason, which Inever thought of, I became a
teacher.
And then I realized that therewere some kids that needed
(35:43):
saving.
The kids can teach mesomething.
And so if it didn't really workthat way, I'm still happy.
I'm blessed.
I'm an American born, bred, andraised, as my children are.
And I couldn't ask for any morenow that I'm at this age.
And I was so glad that Iretired so I can do what I want.
(36:07):
I'm just hanging on by all ofthe medicines that I have to
take.
But that's life.
But for the most part, I lookback at it.
I said, I did do what I wassupposed to do.
I raised my kids to the best ofmy ability.
And so did dad.
You all are college graduates.
So I can't complain.
Because I'm still standing.
(36:28):
I'm still here.
And yes, there's some timesthat it was rough, but I think
that's what God was doing.
He's shining that diamond inthe rough.
Genevieve (36:38):
Yeah.
Well, you know, the reason why Istarted this podcast was
because I have been feeling theneed to share our story for so
long, but I definitely wantedthe right platform to do so.
And I hope that for everybodythat's listening gets a little
inspiration from knowing alittle bit of our hidden chapter
because it's not a topic wetalk about.
(37:00):
And actually, this is the firsttime my mom has actually spoken
about this other than thefamily.
So thank you, mom, for that.
And I wanted to make sure thatit was launched on Mother's Day
and my birthday weekendspecifically because, you know,
I would, of course, not be hereif it were not for you.
So the final thing question Iwant to pose here is, what would
(37:24):
you say is the most fulfillingpart of your journey as a mom?
And then what words you cangive to all moms?
Mom (37:34):
Being a mom doesn't necessarily mean that they have
to come biologically from you.
For all of those that areadoptive parents, you have the
same love that any biologicalparent has.
And you have that love to give.
And there's a child out thereor a child that you bear that
needs your love, your guidance.
(37:55):
And you are making such stridesif you are willing to take on a
child because a child is a giftfrom God.
And it doesn't matter if it'sbiologically comes your way or
adoptive, because all childrenare a creation from God and they
(38:15):
are the most innocent.
Children are our legacy.
And I'm very proud of my familybranch.
I've got you and I've got yourbrother and sister and your dad.
That's my family branch.
And now I've got four beautifulgranddaughters.
So my branch grows.
And all I can say is for thosethat have children, take heart.
Because You will only pass thisway once.
(38:39):
You hang in there.
You give them the love.
And it's up to you to be thesteward to say, no, don't go
that way.
Go this way.
And so my biggest happiness wasI didn't think I was going to
be a mother.
But then I was given the chanceto be a mother.
(38:59):
And then I realized whatwonders comes out from being a
mom.
And when you first hold thatchild and they smell like a new
human, it's incredible.
Yeah, don't give up on being aparent.
Sometimes it's got its lows.
Sometimes it has its highs andyou keep praying.
(39:20):
You need the guidance.
You keep praying because Godsaid, teach the child in the way
that they shall go and theyshall not depart from it.
So, yeah, that's it in anutshell.
Genevieve (39:33):
Well, thank you, Mom.
I really do appreciate youdoing this with me.
This is the first time my momis getting to really share this
outside of the family.
So this is exciting for me,too.
So, Mom, thank you.
Early Happy Mother's Day.
As we wrap up today's episode,I just want to take a moment to
(39:53):
honor my mom and all the amazingmoms out there.
Whether you're a biologicalmom, adoptive, chosen mom, or a
mother figure in someone's life,your love and care make more of
a difference than you probablyrealize.
To my mom, thank you for beingopen and willing to share your
story.
The strength and the quietcourage you've shown through
(40:15):
every part of your journey, it'ssomething I carry with me every
day.
And to all the moms, happyMother's Day.
You deserve to be celebrated.
And to all of you listening,Thank you for being here and for
sharing in this really personalmoment with me.
What a fun way to celebrate mybirthday, right?
If today's story moved you andmade you think of your own
(40:39):
hidden chapter, I'd love to hearfrom you.
You can connect with me onsocial media or leave a quick
review.
And if you know someone with astory worth sharing, I'm always
listening.
Until next time, take care ofyourself, keep listening, know
that the stories we hold closeare often the ones that connect
us the most.
Birthdays and Mother's Day have always meant a
lot to me.
One's a celebration of the lifeI've lived so far, and the
other honors the woman who madethat life possible.
And for as long as I canremember, those two days have
been beautifully connected.
My birthday is May 10th, and mygrandma's was May 11th.
With Mother's Day alwayslanding right around that time,
(00:23):
it became a time when the threeof us, my mom, my grandma, and
me, got to celebrate together.
Those moments are some of myfavorite memories.
This year, as I launch HiddenChapters, I'm realizing just how
deeply those days are tiedtogether.
Because so much of who I am, somuch of my story has been
(00:45):
shaped by my mom's story,especially the parts she kept
tucked away, the ones that camebefore I was even born.
Today, I'm sharing a piece ofher story, one that's also mine,
It's a story about quietstrength, about the choices she
made without a lot of support orrecognition, and the kind of
(01:06):
steady love that you feel evenwhen it's not spoken out loud.
And maybe by telling it here,we can finally give voice to the
parts of our story that havebeen the background for a long
time.
Before I even came into thisworld, my mom went through
something no one should have toexperience.
She's a survivor of rape.
(01:28):
and became pregnant.
And even in the face ofsomething so traumatic, she made
the choice to keep going.
But her story isn't about whathappened.
It's about what she did withit.
It's about how she found herway through the hardest parts.
How she became a mom, raised meon her own, and figured out who
(01:49):
she was along the way.
She's a big part of the reasonI am who I am today.
Her journey is woven into minein so many ways.
Now that you've heard a littlebit about my mom's incredible
journey, let's take a step backto where it all began.
So mom, I know this is a deeplypersonal subject, but with what
(02:14):
you're comfortable with, couldyou share what it was like when
you first found out you werepregnant with me?
So what was going through yourmind?
How did you navigate that timein your life?
Mom (02:26):
I would say that what went through my mind was a menagerie
of different things.
My life is over.
I'm not worth anything.
I've had to hide.
I had plans and I felt likethose plans are gone.
And I was ostracized because inthe 80s, it still was not
(02:49):
acceptable to have a woman whois a single mom, let alone you
never talk about those that arevictims.
They are silent.
And how I navigated it wasdifficult.
a very sketchy way.
Sometimes I think that I canbeat it, but on shaky legs.
(03:10):
Sometimes I said, forget it.
And I thought, should I end mylife?
Should I secretly get anabortion?
You know, how can I do this?
I have no money.
I didn't get to finish mycollege.
That was my ambition.
And so I I come full circle andsay, okay, that's it.
(03:34):
I didn't reach that crescendoof my life that I wanted to.
So there's a lot of confusionand it takes a long time.
It's something that is alifetime that what goes in your
mind.
And then you'll go back andyou'll say, well, was this right
to do?
Was this right to do?
Looking back now, it was theright thing to do, right?
(03:59):
Having a child, I never wantedto have a child because I saw
how my parents were.
My parents fighting all thetime and there was five of us.
And so when this unexpected,and I'll say gift from God came
along, I was not sure what itwas for.
It's like somebody gives you agift and there's no occasion.
(04:21):
But with me, Jen, you wereautomatically loved, And
protected by grandpa, who was astaunch Christian and fell into
the, you know, thou shall notkill.
Genevieve (04:40):
Right.
And that's what I was going toget into is that, you know, the
decision came because grandpadid not believe in abortion.
Mom (04:48):
I needed guidance because I could have so easily...
been prompted to go and have anabortion because society would
not look up to me.
The society would look down onme if I didn't, because here I
am, a single woman that has achild.
And so that was my firstthought.
And another is, I don't knowhow to take care of a child.
(05:11):
And then your grandpa and yourgrandma, they were a lot of help
in ways, but then they keptover my head you are a christian
you know thou shall not killand so my father right away got
into the point where yes we willhouse you yes we will support
(05:32):
you yes you will be in thishouse yes that's my grandchild
so that helped a lot but at thesame time they locked me and
then you eventually in thisivory tower we couldn't go any
place without telling them wherewe're going and they thought
that okay this is the end of herlife we'll just keep her in the
(05:52):
ivory tower she'll be fedshe'll be you know safe but
there was no more life
Genevieve (05:57):
so then raising a child without obviously a
partner was not going to be easyfor you so what was it like in
those early years with youraising me and obviously those
moments where you feltoverwhelmed how did you manage
through those feelings?
Mom (06:13):
Well, I have to give a lot of credit to your uncle who is
not with us anymore.
He championed you from thevery, very start and told me,
look, there are two victims hereand you're both innocent.
And he never judged me.
(06:33):
He was always there, you know,and when you were born and
Sometimes he'd stay over.
And I was overwhelmed at nightbecause a baby doesn't sleep all
the way through night.
There's feedings to happen andchanging of diapers.
And I was worried that when youwere crying, oh, this is going
(06:54):
to wake up grandpa.
Because, you know, he was avery staunch father, you know,
and very strict when I wasgrowing up.
But then here is your uncle.
And sometimes your aunt wouldcome in and help.
And your mom, your grandmawould help sometimes.
And we got into a system lateron, but it was mostly me.
(07:16):
And, you know, I had to dealwith that sleepless nights and
then feedings and learning.
I actually got a book, but itwas Dr.
Spock.
That was one of the foremostexperts back then of how to
raise a child, you know, andabout Diaper rash and things
(07:39):
like that.
And that's how I learned.
And from my background of mydays in college, because I was
in medical school, I did learnsome things there.
But it was something like,okay, this is a new thing to me
now.
But at the same time, I've leftwho I was.
I'm a different person now.
That young college girl isgone.
(08:02):
This one who has to eithersurvive because she's If I don't
survive, how can my childsurvive?
So now I had to survive for meso that you would survive.
And if I don't kick in all ofthe things that I'm supposed to
do, then we're both doomed.
Because I always saw myself asa failure.
(08:22):
I cannot be a failure as amother.
And slowly but surely, youbrought a lot of sunshine in
that old home.
Because when I was a kidgrowing up, there wasn't much of
that.
And you charmed everybody,including your grandpa and your
grandma and your uncle and youraunt, you know, and me.
Genevieve (08:46):
So how did you balance now a mom, but you still
had that drive to be thatindividual?
So obviously I know the story,but explain how you were able to
balance being a mom and stillhave something for you.
I
Mom (09:03):
was barely 21.
So keep in mind the youth.
the things that I wanted to do.
And through time, you know, Iwas thinking, maybe we can still
do this.
And I count that maybe as agift from God because he gave me
another oomph when I thoughteverything was gone.
(09:24):
And I just decided that if Idon't survive and if I don't
make something of myself, whatwill happen to my daughter?
My mother and father will notbe here forever.
And I don't know what houseI'll be living in.
I have got to do something forme eventually will be beneficial
(09:44):
for you.
Genevieve (09:45):
And
Mom (09:46):
I figured I can do this because in my culture, it's
like, oh, you can't do anything.
You're a woman.
You need a man.
No, I was prepared to be thatsingle mother who can make it.
But then it was going to be along road because I did not have
the finances.
I didn't have the tuition to goback.
(10:07):
And there wasn't anybody who'sgoing to take care of you.
So it was either survive orjust go six feet under.
And I saw it as you and I now,and there was a song way back by
Helen Reddy called you and Iagainst the world.
And that's how I saw it, youknow, and it, the song is, At
(10:29):
the end of it, it had a littlegirl saying, I love you, mommy.
And then she said, I love youtoo.
That became one of myinspirations.
I go, I can make this.
And I know that I'm not theonly one.
So I had to go back
Genevieve (10:46):
and I need to go back and listen to that.
I don't know that I actuallyheard that song.
Mom (10:50):
Yeah.
Helen Reddy.
Okay.
I'll go back and look at thatagainst the world.
Genevieve (10:54):
Yeah.
So fast forward.
Here you are.
You were going through nursing.
taking me in tow.
You want to share just one ofthose of your challenges of
going through nursing class andhaving me?
Mom (11:10):
Well, actually, the nursing school was prior to you,
prior to anything.
And so I When I finally hadyou, I didn't have the money to
continue the three and a halfyears of the nursing, so I
wanted to get to somethingcloser.
There were some free programsfor individuals that they can
(11:33):
get a six-month to aneight-month to a year training
and then eventually get a job.
Well, I figured I had a medicalbackground, so I was going to
go for this program called theBiomedical Lab Technician.
which is basically a long wordfor phlebotomy.
And so there were times thatyour grandma would not, she
wanted to be able to go to hersenior citizen and sing and
(11:55):
things like that.
She goes, well, I'm not goingto take care of her.
And so I had this fold up, theycalled it an umbrella stroller.
It wasn't anything big, put youin it and walked.
And it was up a hill going, Ican't even say how much, you
know, it was, but it was, it wasa walk.
And, um, I'd take you to class.
(12:17):
And I had a friend of mine who,when I had the test going on,
she would go out and take thestroller and roll you around.
And then I'd say, okay, thankyou.
And I would take over afterthat.
And it's friends like thatbecause people need people, but
you need good people, not thosethat are going to cheat you,
(12:37):
harm you, or mislead you.
And she was good.
And that's how I did it.
I'm going to do whatever I needto do.
And it felt like you and meagainst the world.
So I had that friend help me.
Genevieve (12:55):
Yeah, I love hearing that story.
Okay, so a couple more years.
You met dad when I was young.
And I know he's the only dad Iever care to know that he's
daddy to me.
Can you tell me about meetinghim and what it was like
bringing him into our lives?
Mom (13:14):
Well, he came in November.
I forget the year, 81, 81.
He came because he was trainingin Vandenberg, which was about
five hours away from where wewere, and it was upstate.
And he came to visit becausehis brother was out there.
(13:38):
And so we wanted to show oursupport because, you know, his
brother is my brother-in-law.
And so he came out and all ofthe things I heard about him
from my older sister, oh, he'sgreat.
He, you know, graduate of amilitary college and he's done
this and he's done that.
I felt really beneath himbecause I had ambitions of going
(14:02):
to college.
So I was very like upfront, youknow, I'm going to just keep my
distance and I'm not hiding mydaughter.
Because you lived and that'syour home, grandma, and you had
full reign.
You could sit on grandpa'schair, have all of the, you
know, remote controls that youwant and just running around
everywhere.
I said, I'm not going to puther in a closet.
Why?
This is my home.
(14:23):
I said, and whoop-dee-doo, goodfor him.
He's, you know, accomplished.
But I was really jealous that,you know, I wasn't in that
category.
I said, I was just a single momtrying to make it, you know.
And so when I met him, I had alittle bit of, Back up that I'm
not going to let you in myfortress.
But he was kind.
(14:44):
He was kind.
He was down to earth, veryhumble, and did everything that
we would do.
You know, if we had somecultural food, he wasn't going,
ew, what is that?
He was there.
He's going, oh, yeah, I'll tryit.
And he picked you up.
Your dad picked you up.
And the moment that he pickedyou up, you just looked at him
(15:05):
and then put your head on hisshoulder.
And I thought, hmm.
OK, but I wasn't looking foranybody.
But I said one day when I dofind someone, if I find
somebody, he is going to have toaccept us both.
I won't have it any other way,you know.
So when I met him, I didn'tthink anything of it, but he
(15:25):
kept coming back.
So he came back each time andhe had these little.
tricks that he was, Oh, can Icome over?
Because, you know, I left mytennis shoes at your house and
that's a five hour drive to getsome measly, dirty tennis shoes,
but he did it, you know?
And yeah, it was a, it probablywould say it's a whirlwind
(15:48):
romance.
If anything, you know, I didn'tdislike him, but then I really
was holding my guard up at thetime.
Yeah.
Genevieve (15:56):
So you and dad got married in September.
I was two.
And then dad got stationed inKansas.
So you automatically became amilitary spouse.
So as a military spouse, weknow how life is incredibly
challenging, just being in themilitary, but being a military
spouse now too.
(16:17):
And dad moved us to Kansas, ofall places, coming from
California.
So talk about now raising me,but now having two more
children.
And what that was like nowhaving three kids and dad was
gone on alerts and othertrainings.
So you were by yourself a lotand how you managed to keep all
(16:39):
that together.
Cause now you've got a wholenother season and challenge in
life.
Mom (16:43):
Well, I had to kind of get over the fact that, Oh, I'm not
worthless.
And if someone wants to marryme and your, your grandparents
were thrilled because theirculture says, Oh, you need a
man.
And, um, When I realized, youknow, yeah, he is military.
And even though it's adifferent branch, because I'm a
(17:05):
military brat.
My father was in the Navy 25years.
And, you know, he was veryproud of being a sailor.
And where I lived, there wasnothing but sailors and Marines.
So I thought, I can handlethis.
I can handle this.
And so when we went to Kansas,it wasn't only that.
It was it wasn't.
california anymore we're inkansas total you know and so it
(17:30):
it was really bad because theywere prejudiced then and i tried
going into a ceramic store andi only got but two feet from the
doorway and i called themchurch ladies church ladies
looked at me like get out of ourstore or we will kill you so i
walked back out daddy wasn'twith me we only had one car So I
(17:50):
said, I've walked before.
I've done it with Jen.
So it wasn't too far away fromthe apartments.
And now I was by myself.
We used to have this housewhere my mom was and my dad.
And you were running around.
And my brother would come by.
But in Kansas, I had no one.
And I was on the third floor.
And good old dad, he didn'ttell me until after we were
(18:14):
married, I've got to sit youdown.
Well, you know what I really doin the Air Force is I'm a
missile launch officer, and wehave to be out there eight times
a month.
I said, oh, well, okay, becauseI thought he'd come home at
night.
No, he didn't come home atnight.
Eight times I was by myself,and that's not counting for
(18:35):
those who understand TDYs andinspections outside of the base
and going to the headquartersbase in Nebraska.
So I was left alone.
So it was you and me, and youhad to adjust because Grandma
wasn't there, and they spoiledyou rotten, and I didn't have
(18:55):
all of the ideas of what youhad, but...
You did have a nice room,that's for sure, because Daddy
had prepared it and we preparedit.
I said, do you think aqueen-sized bed's too big for a
one-year-old?
But you had all your stuffedanimals all around you.
And Dad took in right away ashis very own.
And I had to deal withmarriage, being without my
(19:19):
parents because they were mybackup, and then learning to
live in Kansas where the sundied.
barely shines and the winterswere so cold and this
Californian just never reallysaw snow before.
And so I had to adjust to that.
And in me, I said, in order tovalidate me, I need to give this
(19:45):
man a child.
I needed to give him a child tovalidate our marriage.
But more importantly, I did notwant you to be alone.
Because I come from one out offive, even though we fought a
lot, we had each other.
And I remember you were verylittle and you brought out your
(20:06):
little porcelain tea set out inthe porch with the girls right
next door.
And I thought, oh, how nice.
Let me go get some littlecookies that I can put and they
can play, you know, tea, teatime.
I come back out and you're intears and the girls were saying
something about you.
And I said, go home.
I said, how dare you?
Because they were picking onyou.
And I said, I can't have this.
(20:28):
I got to have other childrenwith you to champion you.
But I had a miscarriage beforeyour brother came out.
And that's why it took up to85.
So that's why the distancebetween you.
But I absolutely loved it.
(20:49):
Once I got a routine, Iabsolutely loved it.
Being a mom of young kids.
You guys did some stuff thatwere crazy, but then what
parenthood is not going to havesuch things?
I mean, you guys would ruin theliving room, but that's what
kids do.
And you would make all kinds ofentertainment because...
(21:13):
winters were harsh out there attimes.
I learned how to drive on ice,which I'm still scared of.
I learned how to shovel snowaway from the driveway.
And I learned about snowsuitsthat you guys had to put, you
know, and making sure that ifyou're going to go out and make
a snowman, come in every once ina while because you're sweating
(21:35):
and You could catch a cold.
And so I actually liked it.
And then I realized, because Ireally never, ever really
thought about it, is your dad'srank.
You know, oh, I'm married to anofficer.
Duh.
You know, because my father wasenlisted.
And that was a whole new can ofworms.
A whole
Genevieve (21:54):
other conversation that, yep.
Mom (21:55):
Yes.
And, you know, I thought, oh,yeah, I'm a military brat.
I can handle this as a militaryspouse.
Sure.
You know, but then when weended up living together, And we
were the most, the lower rankof the rank.
We ended up living just nextdoor to three colonels.
I go, that's nerve wracking.
I didn't like that because weweren't colonels.
(22:17):
And so I was happy about that.
And I got to adjust wellbecause the military life I knew
of.
When I was a kid, we were onmilitary base before and, you
know, we would play around thereand I felt it to be safe.
And I was actually verythankful that we were on base
(22:38):
and not outside because we hadquite a few with those that are
not so kind.
So
Genevieve (22:46):
we moved from Kansas to the next state over,
Missouri.
And Was that around the timewhen you had made the decision
to go back to school?
Because I remember, of course,that was that time that you were
up late at night going toschool and then we would be
three of us hand in hand as wewere going on campuses with you.
(23:09):
So explain that and how thatdecision came about and how that
season in time was goingthrough getting a degree, having
three of us and doing it alone.
Mom (23:20):
I had...
found out that there were whatthey call satellite schools on
base.
But I was also waiting for atleast two of you out of the
three that can walk and talk.
I said, and I don't know, bythe grace of God, the schedule
was good because sometimes I'dhave a night class and dad would
(23:43):
be home.
I said, that's good.
You know, they said, oh, youcan go to the university, blah,
blah, blah.
Oh yeah?
How far is that?
Oh, just about five hour drive.
No, can't do it.
I said, I've got kids and mykids come first.
I said, I have this hunkeringof this dream to finish because,
you know, I can add to ourincome and I can be something
(24:08):
that I've always wanted to be.
And I had a personal vendetta.
That personal vendetta wasyou're not going to beat me.
I am still standing and I'mgoing to get this.
I tried looking into nursing,but then I started thinking
about all of the hardship I hadas a nursing student.
My hat's off to medicalstudents.
(24:28):
It's difficult.
So I went to the next thing.
I went to business.
And your dad has a businessdegree.
I read, hmm, a Pell Grant.
I thought, it's worth a try.
I had a station wagon.
I put all three of you guysthere and it was a 17 mile drive
(24:51):
to what they call State FairCommunity College.
And I took you guys there.
I was talking to a counselorand she said, well, only under
these stipulations could youhave this Pell Grant.
Your husband is an officer,blah, blah, blah.
And I said, well, my husband isin school too, going for his
master's.
(25:11):
And she said, oh, that's it.
The little glitch goes two, Twostudents at the same time.
I didn't realize you had
Genevieve (25:18):
an under school that time frame.
I forgot about
Mom (25:20):
that.
Yeah.
And so I said, sign me up.
So I got the Pell Grant and myassociate's degree was all free.
My books, my tuition.
And I had three of you guys.
And the woman said, that's veryadmirable.
She says, you got these threekids.
I said, I'll make it work.
So I feel like that inspirationwas coming from God.
(25:42):
He says, now I'm picking youback up.
And so I started to getinspired and I came home and all
of you guys, we went to mommyschool.
And then later when you got alittle bit older, you would make
me the international coffeesthat I needed at night.
And I said, thanks, Jen.
And no matter what concoction,whether it was too much sugar or
(26:06):
whatever, I drank it because Iwas in the zone to try to learn.
Genevieve (26:11):
You put all of us to bed.
But then I would go to thekitchen and that little box had
the, you know, the
Mom (26:18):
granule.
Yeah, they had all kinds offlavors.
So I would do the
Genevieve (26:20):
hot water and mix that up for you.
And then you'd be by lamplightwith the note cards talking to
yourself.
Mom (26:26):
Talking to myself, yeah.
That's what
Genevieve (26:27):
I remember, of course, you know.
Mom (26:29):
Yeah, your brother woke up, he was like, Mommy, who are
you talking to?
I said, oh, I'm just talking tomyself.
Go back to bed.
I'm good.
So that was kind
Genevieve (26:36):
of that inspiration, too, as to why I went to
school.
Because, I mean, you and Dadboth did it.
And you both had these...
Beautiful knuckle to knucklering.
So when I was ready forcollege, that's what I wanted.
I said, I want to go to schooltoo.
So
Mom (26:48):
yeah, I was telling dad, I said, it's not for any other
reason, but to, you know, settlea score, because it was a
vendetta that you will not knockme down.
I'm talking about my history ofpast.
And I found out that my brainwas much better in my early 30s
than it was in the 20s.
My grades got better.
(27:10):
And I graduated with honors allthe way through.
When I got my bachelor's andthen my master's, I was able to
think, you know, and I think itwas because now my life was in a
good spot.
Genevieve (27:25):
Yeah.
Mom (27:25):
I have a loving husband.
Genevieve (27:27):
I
Mom (27:27):
have my children that crack me up because of the
things that you guys say and do.
And I was just happy.
And I was starting to learnmore about God and getting to
the word a lot more.
We would go to church everySunday because I was insistent
upon that.
So that was all in the spotwhere it should be.
(27:51):
And that was the perfect time.
time.
My mind was settled and God wasthere, you know, in spite of us
having to be away from home, wemade it work and you guys made
it work, you know, and you, youwent to the school on base.
So I knew you were safe.
And then eventually yourbrother went to school on base
(28:11):
and we had the third child and,you know, she was just a little
baby at the time.
So, yeah.
Genevieve (28:17):
So obviously I hadn't known up until this point
about my background.
Yeah.
But being that Daddy is a verytall, white Scottish man, and I
don't look anything like Dad, Iknow that the questions were
going to eventually come out whyI don't look like him.
Because I know that when Istarted to go to school, and
that was around that time I wasgetting picked up for
appointments, for doctor'sappointments, if Dad came in, it
(28:39):
would throw people off like,that's your dad?
So I think that was rightaround 10, I remember, was when
that time frame, I started toquestion, well, why don't I look
like Dad?
And that's where you felt likeit was the time to tell me.
So I know that for me, thatbeing 10, that's a lot to take
in.
Because then, you know, I knowwe talk about this later, but
(29:02):
you told me at 10.
And then I think it wasn'tuntil I was 32 that I asked
again about my backgroundbecause I was already pregnant
with Izzy.
And I went to the doctor.
And then, of course, thedoctor's asking my history on
both my family.
And I could always say, oh, mymom had this history and her
background and my dad.
Well.
Actually, I can't claim dadbecause biologically there's no
(29:25):
blood.
So I think those are the firsttwo times in my life when I
think about it because I doforget.
Those were the two times in mylife where I really remember I
needed to go back and go, okay,mom, hold on.
You got to give me a little bitmore detail.
So 10 was the first time.
So what was that like, that
Mom (29:43):
time frame?
Back up just a little bit.
I had spoken briefly to dadabout it and dad was against you
knowing because it, to him, itfelt like she's mine, you know?
But yeah, I mean, I said, shekeeps asking.
I said, because the other kidsare constantly saying, you know,
(30:05):
that's your dad or things likethat.
She keeps asking.
And I said, she's going to haveto know sometime, but I wanted
to make sure that you were,mature enough to get it.
But I said, but she's alreadyasking because you're a very
smart girl.
I mean, you did all kinds ofthings.
You do things behind my backlike packing clothes when I put
(30:30):
you in those ugly plaid pants.
They were ugly.
They were ugly.
And I thought, you know,they're warm, you know, they're
warm, they're woolen, but theywere like a plaid red pair of
pants.
And Then you'd come home andI'd say, wait a minute, did I
dress you in that?
And you would act it yourself.
(30:50):
So for a kid that's smart likethat, 10 years old, yeah, your
mind was already thinking.
I mean, and like I said, andI'm not saying this just because
I'm your mom, but you're verysmart.
So I had to tell you, I said itdid break my heart and it broke
dad's heart because he feltlike, oh, she's no longer mine.
But I had to remind him thatanybody can be a father.
(31:14):
anyone but it takes a specialman to be a dad and without
hesitation you know he he tookyou on and um adopted you and
and today that's not unusualthat's not unusual but it was we
were at the cusp of computerscoming out the generation yeah
(31:35):
generation of okay she's out ofwedlock so we were just at the
cusp of it and um now it's nobig deal it shouldn't have been
a big deal but um So what
Genevieve (31:44):
was the hardest part about sharing that information?
You said dad was against it,but what was maybe the hardest
part?
Mom (32:02):
Where do I belong?
Why am I like this?
And then I thought, I washesitant.
I said, would she ask about theother?
Because that's a painfulsubject.
And the more I get older, themore I can push it back and just
live my life with my childrenand my husband in peace.
So we didn't really know how itwould turn out, but we did know
(32:27):
that eventually you'd need toknow and it was your right to
know your beginnings.
And I
Genevieve (32:32):
think it was interesting.
You asked me this as we wereprepping for this.
You asked me if I ever wonderedabout that other side.
And honestly, I really don't.
I mean, still to this day, I'mgoing to be 45.
I never wondered about that.
I just always, growing up,remember you saying, well, God
took care of that.
So I always just, I reallyhonestly didn't remember it.
I never had a wonder.
(32:53):
And dad is the only dad that Iknow.
And I've never had a...
issue to know that other halfof me because of the fact that
we said before I was so lovedfrom the very beginning and so
accepted that it was never, thatportion about me was never an
(33:14):
issue.
But I just, I never wonderedand I still don't ever wonder
and have no curiosity to findany bit of that other half.
If anything, I'm just curiousto say, okay, how much more of
the culture mix do I have?
Is there more Spanish?
Is there more Filipino?
Is there more, you know,
Mom (33:31):
that's more the curiosity that I have.
Polynesian, which you do have.
What's my
Genevieve (33:36):
background?
Mom (33:37):
The most important thing that we think of, because like I
said, when I started off, Mymindset was, ooh, what will
people think?
And so maybe you were thinking,ooh, maybe people will look at
me differently.
But the most important thing isthey don't matter.
What matters is that you'reloved by your mother and father
and your siblings and that youdo have a lineage.
(34:00):
You have cousins and uncles andaunts on my side.
And you have your adoptivecousins, you know, as well.
And they've never, ever...
said, oh, wait a minute, youknow, we never have.
Family doesn't necessarily meanDNA.
Family can be, you know,whoever is there for you, who
(34:20):
really truly cares about you andloves you and will not hurt
you.
Well, sometimes family can hurtyou no matter what, but it's
what we identify with, you know,and the biggest thing is if God
loves you, who can be againstyou?
Yeah.
And that's how I survived withthe Lord Jesus Christ.
(34:41):
You know, I couldn't have hadit any other way.
So
Genevieve (34:45):
looking back on everything that you've been
through, of course, now raisingme, navigating that military
life, pursuing the degree,finding love, how would you
describe the journey and the biglessons that you've taken from
the life so far?
Mom (34:59):
I've been able to do some things.
I love to travel.
Those are the good parts.
We're going to all have trialssometimes.
But we can't dwell on thosetrials and we can't dwell on the
arguments because that willbring up a cancer in your
spirit.
You just try to remember thegood times and go on because God
wants us to continue to go on.
(35:20):
I didn't really reach that kindof career, if you will.
It didn't go the way that Ithought, but they always say
that God has a better plan thanyou have for yourself.
And for some reason, which Inever thought of, I became a
teacher.
And then I realized that therewere some kids that needed
(35:43):
saving.
The kids can teach mesomething.
And so if it didn't really workthat way, I'm still happy.
I'm blessed.
I'm an American born, bred, andraised, as my children are.
And I couldn't ask for any morenow that I'm at this age.
And I was so glad that Iretired so I can do what I want.
(36:07):
I'm just hanging on by all ofthe medicines that I have to
take.
But that's life.
But for the most part, I lookback at it.
I said, I did do what I wassupposed to do.
I raised my kids to the best ofmy ability.
And so did dad.
You all are college graduates.
So I can't complain.
Because I'm still standing.
(36:28):
I'm still here.
And yes, there's some timesthat it was rough, but I think
that's what God was doing.
He's shining that diamond inthe rough.
Genevieve (36:38):
Yeah.
Well, you know, the reason why Istarted this podcast was
because I have been feeling theneed to share our story for so
long, but I definitely wantedthe right platform to do so.
And I hope that for everybodythat's listening gets a little
inspiration from knowing alittle bit of our hidden chapter
because it's not a topic wetalk about.
(37:00):
And actually, this is the firsttime my mom has actually spoken
about this other than thefamily.
So thank you, mom, for that.
And I wanted to make sure thatit was launched on Mother's Day
and my birthday weekendspecifically because, you know,
I would, of course, not be hereif it were not for you.
So the final thing question Iwant to pose here is, what would
(37:24):
you say is the most fulfillingpart of your journey as a mom?
And then what words you cangive to all moms?
Mom (37:34):
Being a mom doesn't necessarily mean that they have
to come biologically from you.
For all of those that areadoptive parents, you have the
same love that any biologicalparent has.
And you have that love to give.
And there's a child out thereor a child that you bear that
needs your love, your guidance.
(37:55):
And you are making such stridesif you are willing to take on a
child because a child is a giftfrom God.
And it doesn't matter if it'sbiologically comes your way or
adoptive, because all childrenare a creation from God and they
(38:15):
are the most innocent.
Children are our legacy.
And I'm very proud of my familybranch.
I've got you and I've got yourbrother and sister and your dad.
That's my family branch.
And now I've got four beautifulgranddaughters.
So my branch grows.
And all I can say is for thosethat have children, take heart.
Because You will only pass thisway once.
(38:39):
You hang in there.
You give them the love.
And it's up to you to be thesteward to say, no, don't go
that way.
Go this way.
And so my biggest happiness wasI didn't think I was going to
be a mother.
But then I was given the chanceto be a mother.
(38:59):
And then I realized whatwonders comes out from being a
mom.
And when you first hold thatchild and they smell like a new
human, it's incredible.
Yeah, don't give up on being aparent.
Sometimes it's got its lows.
Sometimes it has its highs andyou keep praying.
(39:20):
You need the guidance.
You keep praying because Godsaid, teach the child in the way
that they shall go and theyshall not depart from it.
So, yeah, that's it in anutshell.
Genevieve (39:33):
Well, thank you, Mom.
I really do appreciate youdoing this with me.
This is the first time my momis getting to really share this
outside of the family.
So this is exciting for me,too.
So, Mom, thank you.
Early Happy Mother's Day.
As we wrap up today's episode,I just want to take a moment to
(39:53):
honor my mom and all the amazingmoms out there.
Whether you're a biologicalmom, adoptive, chosen mom, or a
mother figure in someone's life,your love and care make more of
a difference than you probablyrealize.
To my mom, thank you for beingopen and willing to share your
story.
The strength and the quietcourage you've shown through
(40:15):
every part of your journey, it'ssomething I carry with me every
day.
And to all the moms, happyMother's Day.
You deserve to be celebrated.
And to all of you listening,Thank you for being here and for
sharing in this really personalmoment with me.
What a fun way to celebrate mybirthday, right?
If today's story moved you andmade you think of your own
(40:39):
hidden chapter, I'd love to hearfrom you.
You can connect with me onsocial media or leave a quick
review.
And if you know someone with astory worth sharing, I'm always
listening.
Until next time, take care ofyourself, keep listening, know
that the stories we hold closeare often the ones that connect
us the most.
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