October 10, 2025 • 57 mins
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From arriving in the U.S. without knowing a word of English to rising through the ranks to become a Sergeant Major, Jose Raymundo’s story is one of struggles, triumphs and deep resilience.
In this conversation, Jose opens up about the hidden chapters behind his military career, the emotional weight of service, the quiet battles few ever saw, and the courage it took to share his story in his new memoir.
We talk about what it really means to transition from military to civilian life, the lessons that come from counseling and self-reflection, and the healing power of reconnecting with family. Jose reminds us that behind every uniform is a human story and that sharing those stories can bring light, hope, and healing to others walking the same road.
So many hidden chapters in his story, I can't wait to share.
Takeaways from our conversation:
- Jose's journey highlights the challenges of transitioning from military to civilian life.
- Writing a book can be a therapeutic process, but it also brings up painful memories.
- Transparency in storytelling fosters connection and relatability with the audience.
- Language barriers can complicate the military experience for non-native speakers.
- The importance of mentorship and support in achieving personal goals.
- Family connections play a crucial role in personal development and healing.
- Reactions from family members can lead to unexpected insights and healing.
- Future aspirations include writing more about the hidden struggles of veterans.
📖 You can purchase Jose's book on Amazon: https://a.co/d/j7El8lb
You can also reach out to Jose on Facebook:
FB author page: Jose F Raymundo- Author-
Email José:
📧 raymundoandassociatesllc@gmail.com
📧 jfraymundo@hotmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Genevieve (00:00):
Hi there.
Thank you for choosing tolisten to Hidden Chapters, where
we share the hidden momentsbehind the public chapters of
life.
The struggles, triumphs, andlessons that often go unspoken.
I'm excited to introduce JoseRaimundo.
Jose, or Ray, retired from themilitary after 30 years of
service.
(00:20):
He's a dedicated husband,father, proud grandfather, and a
first-time author driven by apassion for helping others.
His debut memoir, Brave NewHorizons from El Salvador to the
U.S.
Army, tells the inspiring storyof an immigrant who arrived
with very little and transformedhis life through determination
(00:41):
and discipline, ultimatelyrising to the rank of sergeant
major.
When he's not writing, hecherishes moments with his adult
children and grandchild.
Fixes cars, creates upliftingmotivational posts on social
media, and embraces everyopportunity to learn and grow.
So many hidden chapters in hisstory.
Toward the end of last season,I was excited to receive an
(01:07):
email from Jose mentioning hewas recommended my podcast by
his editor Brunella.
Brunella's the same editor ofmy husband's book, so I was
honored for the recommendation.
Once Jose and I had theopportunity to talk and he
shared a story with me, I knewhis book and his hidden chapters
would be a perfect fit inseason two.
So I'm excited to welcome Joseto the show.
Jose (01:29):
Well, thank you.
Appreciate it.
Genevieve (01:30):
Of course.
So your book was released inMay, and this is your podcast
debut.
Jose (01:37):
I'm excited for that.
I'm kind of nervous, but that'sokay.
I go with the flow.
Genevieve (01:42):
That's all right.
Well, this will kick off therest of your future podcast
guests' appearances.
All right.
So I want to gr uh get intothat first question about the
journey before your book.
So what inspired you to writeyour story and turn it into a
book?
Jose (02:00):
Well, there's two parts of the stories about it.
The first one is um when Istarted this, originally it was
I was trying to create somethinglike a referral book or an
encyclopedia specifically foryoung soldiers going to the
military.
Um, the book was not originallyintended to become what it is
(02:22):
now, which is almost myautobiography memorial, but it
was more like, okay, so as ayoung soldier going to the
military, um, not speakingEnglish the first language.
Genevieve (02:32):
Yeah.
Jose (02:33):
What am I supposed to do?
What am I supposed to do?
How am I supposed to tacklethis adventure?
Yes, the military had a lot ofuh reference.
You got technical manuals, youhave regulations, you got all
those things that tell you whathow you're supposed to do
everything in the military fromhow to march, how to prepare for
your physical fitness test, howdo you prepare for the incoming
(02:53):
promotion board?
But my book was morepersonalized about the
experience.
For example, you know, how doyou tackle nervousness when
you're about to encounter apromotion board?
How can you manage a challengedsoldier who doesn't want to
listen?
Um, how do you manage asituation where a soldier is is
is is trying to be a goodsoldier, but somehow he's
(03:15):
doubting about himself.
How do you manage a toxicleader?
So it was more about you knowum creating a reference book.
But all that changed when I didmy speech uh in my retirement.
Uh a lot of people knew who thesergeant major was, but a few
people knew who actually I wasas a person.
(03:37):
So, of course, part of myspeech was uh my history, how I
came to the United States, Ididn't speak English, I had any
money, no education.
So a few people approached meafter the um the the speech and
they said you should write abook about it because there's a
lot of people up there thatactually may change, may face
(03:58):
those challenges that you did.
And that book might probablyhelp him to navigate and
understand that hey, you knowwhat?
If he did it, I'm dumb as arock.
Um obviously I can make it too.
And I use that book as a way totranspire a message, utilize
amount of history that you know,no matter what your
(04:20):
circumstances, you can succeedin life, not just in the
military, but in general.
Um, and that's how turned outto be a memorial um from what I
originally started to where itis now.
Genevieve (04:33):
Yeah.
And I love that too, because Ionce I really dove into your
book, I was intrigued from thevery beginning of all of the
things that you started early inyour life and the things that
you succeeded in.
That yes, your messagedefinitely is somebody who
literally came from nothing, cando so much.
So I loved that that was amessage that you ultimately
(04:54):
turned it into because I dobelieve that that's something a
lot of people need to hear.
So, what's something about yourjourney to becoming a published
author that most people aren'tseeing or have heard about?
Jose (05:09):
Uh, well, you know what?
I I originally when I startedwriting, um, just because I have
to revive a lot of my past,yeah, it brought me a lot of
emotionals.
You know, I cried, I was angry,um, I even laugh about so many
things to the point that I hadto take a break.
Um, because I I I reached apoint that, you know, by
(05:32):
connecting with my past,depending on what part of the
book I was writing, I like Itold you, I couldn't cry.
I was very upset that to thepoint that I was talking to
Brunella, my editor, and I said,No, I cannot do this no more
because I have to take a break.
Genevieve (05:46):
Yeah.
Jose (05:47):
Because remember certain parts of the book, I feel this
way, I feel this way.
And she encouraged me, Iunderstand, take a break, but
it's normal for you to connectin your past.
Depending on what kind of bookyou're writing.
In my case, it was a biographyfor my life, for my experiences.
Remembering those things likehaving a PTSD all over again.
(06:08):
And it was very hard.
That's not the part a lot ofpeople don't see that it was
easy to write, but when youremember things that happened in
the past, to me, it really hurtme, it really touched me.
So it took me a long time tofinish the writer.
I say, oh, this is easy.
I can do this in a couple ofmonths, I can do maybe 10 pages
(06:29):
a day.
But I didn't consider theconsequences of how those
write-ups starts, those pagesare gonna affect me, but I
remember things that I I Iburied in the past.
It's still in my mind, but Ididn't expect it to affect me so
much to the the way they didit.
So that's not too many peopleknow about it.
(06:50):
But um, I'm glad I did becausesomehow it helped me to therapy,
but at the same time, it reallyhurt me because it reminds me
about what I what I've beenthrough all my life.
Genevieve (07:01):
No, I understand that completely.
Uh, especially watching Chrisgo through the same process of
writing a book.
It's what I'm hearing a lot, iswhere you're really having to
dig deep, especially beingmilitary.
There's a lot of people thatsay that, but they suppress it
because it's not the time tohave that conversation.
It's not the time to workthrough that because you're
trying to continue to stay on amission.
(07:21):
But then it is usually that I'mhearing after that retirement
and after that uniform comesoff, and you have to unpack that
rucksack, that's when a lot ofthose things have to be dealt
with.
And so I watched Chris similarto what you were saying, is he
had to literally push himselfaway from the computer because
there were days he was angry,there was days he was sad, there
(07:44):
was days he was like, I'm done,I'm not doing this.
And so I can completelyunderstand where that's coming
from.
About how long did it take you?
What what come what was yourbreak time frame?
Jose (07:55):
So originally when I started, I started writing
around February of the sameyear.
I was gonna retire 2022.
Okay, my intention was tofinish everything and publish
the book the day of myretirement, which it was one
November.
It took me two years.
It took me 10 months, like Ithought.
(08:15):
Um, not just because of thesituation that I just described
to you, but also you gottaconsider that I'm about to
publish intimate details of mylife to the public.
Genevieve (08:26):
Absolutely.
Jose (08:27):
And, you know, like, you know, do you want to continue
with this or not?
Because eventually it was notso much about become famous or
people know me.
It's because just like thestigmatized that we do with the
with the health, uh, with mentalhealth.
Genevieve (08:42):
Yes.
Jose (08:42):
If you don't speak about it, you don't know who's
listening.
And that person may be hiddensomewhere saying, I'm the only
one who's suffering from this,but you never know who else is
going through the samesituation.
So just described to you somany events that happened to me
in my life throughout my 30years in the military before
(09:03):
that maybe somebody who'sreading the book, somebody who
is listening to my story andsaying, you know what, I thought
I was the only one.
And maybe that createsconnection, maybe in person,
maybe virtual, maybe through abook, that can actually help
that person to navigate to thechallenges the same way that I
did.
So that's that's the anotherpart that people don't know
(09:24):
about it.
So I was very nervous, I wasvery uh attention.
I was like, what about peopledon't like it?
What about this part?
But I said, you know what?
I mean, it is what it is, I'mhuman, and maybe somebody may
help this book to become hisnavigation tool or her
navigation too.
Who knows?
Genevieve (09:42):
Right.
Well, that was the when wespoke too, that was the heart of
why hidden chapters came aboutfor me, is because I knew
there's so many of us that havestories that we don't often
share.
And people gonna are gonna lookat you from face value and have
no idea what you've beenthrough.
But when you get thoseopportunities to share those
things, that's where that realconnection comes in because you
never know, like you said afteryour retirement speech, how many
(10:04):
people came up to you and go, Iresonated with that.
Or wow, me too.
And I really appreciate thepeople that have come on so far,
like yourself, who are takingthe time to share that story
because it does need to beheard.
And when you do share those, wenever know who's listening on
the other end and goes, I'vebeen there, done that,
understand that.
Yeah.
So I really I appreciate all ofyou all there sharing your
(10:27):
stories on paper, sharing yourstories on the mic because it is
gonna resonate with somebody.
We just have no idea who isgonna dead.
So was there a chapter orsection that in between your
writing was especially hard oremotional to write?
Jose (10:43):
Um, there were three parts actually that were very hard
for me to write.
Um and I asked Brunella aboutit, my editor, and I asked, you
know, myself multiple timesshould I do it?
The first one was to talk aboutthe many events of suicide
between my family.
Uh because again, when when Iremember those parts, uh it's
(11:06):
very hard for me to talk aboutit.
I didn't want to mention thembecause you know I respect um my
family and a sense I want tokeep them private.
But I think it's importantbecause you know how many people
actually struggle with thissituation.
I didn't mention details, butat least the emotions that came
with knowing that I experiencedthat three times.
(11:28):
Yeah.
Maybe somebody's out there needhelp, you know, and in and
hopefully, you know, peoplereach out to me and ask me
advice on how to manage thosethings.
I'm not a doctor, but you know,I'm a human being.
The second part for me to writewas about my kids, you know,
because again, no, it doesn'tmatter how much I can do for
them now, but I still feel thatum I owe them a lot.
(11:51):
It's it's it's my guiltyconscience that I think that I
was I didn't balance militaryand personal life like
appropriately, like anybodyelse.
I didn't have a a book to tellme how to become a dad and thing
like that.
You know, I didn't have a rolemodel.
Uh I didn't grow up with afather, but I did the best I
(12:11):
could, which is kind of hard forme to write.
And the last part that actuallythis is very hard was my uh my
investigation that took placeright before my retirement.
Um, the allegedly situationthat I was facing.
The reason it was hard for meto write because it really hurts
me because I'm not the type ofperson who's gonna hurt
somebody's career or somebody'sfeelings.
(12:34):
Um and it to me it was verypainful to be associated with a
person like that, you know,being uh somebody who actually
be a lookout for.
Uh and and and I tell you, itwas very painful for me that I
could, you know, do some harmunintentionally to this person.
Um at the end, everything wasresolved.
(12:56):
Um there is extendedcircumstances that create that
probably I think it created thatmisunderstanding with this
person, but I'm not here tojudge.
I'm just bear to experiencethat you know that it really
hurt me, it really touched meemotionally and personally.
Um and that was part of myjourney.
Genevieve (13:17):
That was an interesting one that I had read
uh about your uh situation.
Do you mind going back overthat again?
Of just the setup of of whatwas happening right before your
retirement.
Jose (13:30):
So when when I found out about it, the the allegedly uh
crime that I committed, uh Ifelt defeat because you know,
how can I somebody do something?
I'm not capable of doinganything like that.
I was that's a lot of emotioncame to my mind.
Genevieve (13:47):
Yeah.
Jose (13:48):
And even though people believe in me on my innocent,
you know, it's just the factthat people don't know me or
just the fact that my name wasassociated with this type of uh
crime, it was very painful forme.
Because you were accused of uhI like Julian sexual harassment.
Genevieve (14:04):
Right, that's right.
Jose (14:06):
Um so at the end of uh the investigation, which basically
I received a letter of uh uhfrom the commanding general
telling me everything was clearand we apologize for
misunderstood that you cancontinue, you transition to
retirement.
It was not the same, it wasn'tthe same.
I feel like you know, I don'twant to celebrate something
(14:26):
knowing that I am being labeled,even though I was already
clear, but it's not the same.
It's like you have a cop andyou break the cup, yeah, you can
get glue and put it together.
It looked the same, but it'snot gonna be the same.
Genevieve (14:41):
Right.
Jose (14:41):
So I was very painful.
I did not receive uh anyretirement party.
I did not receive anyrecognitions in front of the
audience.
Basically, I just give it to mein a lunch break, um, away from
anybody else.
Because I think in my because Iput a lot of pressure on me, I
didn't deserve it.
Uh, so it's very painful for meto be walking around with glory
(15:04):
other stuff after you know thesituation.
So it really touched me a lot.
It took me a while even to havea conversation with one of the
supervisors of the soldier.
They were my friends, you know.
And a year after the incident,I went to have coffee with this
person and I said, Can I ask yousomething?
(15:25):
We are friends, it's alreadyover, but why you didn't tell me
why you didn't call me and askme face-to-face if this was
true?
I understand that there wassome situation where, you know,
like the the people biginterview cannot talk to the
allegedly perpetrator.
Genevieve (15:43):
Right.
Jose (15:44):
But, you know, the investigation was over.
So why you didn't call me andhave the conversation with me to
clear any misunderstanding?
And he started crying and hestarted apologizing because he
thought my social media pagesthat oh, he looks okay, he
pushed his retirement page, hepushed his retirement picture
with his family.
(16:05):
He must be happy, he must begetting over.
Internally, I was devastated.
Yeah, but he didn't know aboutit.
So he said, he said, uh, Iguess I uh like anybody else on
social media, don't takeeverything like you see on
social media because you neverknow what's going through.
And I tell you, I have to talkto psychologists, I have to talk
to doctors in order to how didI manage this thing?
(16:27):
I feel bad, you know, but atthe same time, I cannot believe
that really hurt me most as ismy friends give me the back when
I need it the most.
Not a single person called meto check on me.
Not a single person, only mycommanding general, my company
commander, and my firstsergeant.
That's the only three peoplethat call me all the time to
(16:48):
check on me.
Nobody else did that.
So that really hurt me the mostbecause, you know, I'm alone.
Yeah.
You know, it's just like again,the book, you know, I had
disappointment with manyfriends, and that was a very,
very painful moment for me.
Genevieve (17:02):
What made you decide to include that?
Because I know how painful thatwas for you.
What was that process?
You had felt like it needed tobe included, but what was that
process like having to writethrough that and then decide to
keep it in the book?
Jose (17:17):
Well, to write it was the easy part because you know it's
like my psychology always says,you know, use the paper to write
your emotions.
Yeah.
Don't spit it out to people.
Um the hard part was to decidewhether not to include it.
So I talked to Brunella, Italked to my psychology, you
know, Shula, Shulana, and Isaid, Well, you know, I mean,
(17:38):
you're human.
You know, don't portray apicture that you're the perfect
man, the perfect sur mayor, theperfect soldier.
There's no perfection on thisplanet.
Yeah, you know, and basicallyit's part of your journey.
You never know who else isgoing to this thing.
Um, and people who actuallyknow you, they're gonna believe
it.
People don't know you, they'regonna believe it, but at the
(17:58):
same time, you know, it's partof who you are.
So it was it was like, yes, no,yes, no, yes, no.
I was like that for at least, Iwould say probably three
months.
Genevieve (18:10):
Wow.
Jose (18:11):
You know, just to decide whether or not to include it.
Um, I didn't have anything tohide again.
I didn't put any names topreserve the names of those
individuals.
Uh, a lot of people probablydidn't know about it.
Genevieve (18:23):
Yeah.
Jose (18:24):
Um, but again, you know, it was very hard to decide.
And that was the only chartthat I was left before the book
was completed.
They're like, Do you want toinclude it?
Uh in Brunel, I was like, letme tell you my advice as an
editor, not as a person.
I talked to my psychology, letme give you my experience on
this.
And, you know, even I talked tomy daughter, so what do you
(18:46):
think?
So eventually I say, okay, itis what it is, let's go with the
rule.
So it turned out to be good toa certain thing because uh uh a
lot of people focus more intowhat I have achieved and the
message that I'm trying to passas opposed to that specific
chapter of my life.
Genevieve (19:02):
So and I think too, being as transparent as we can
be, that brings more peopleconnected to you because you are
being very real, you are beingvery authentic.
And like you said, you'rehuman.
So they were these were thingsthat happened in your life that
you experienced, and they justmake you more relatable.
So I appreciate you telling methat one too, because I did.
(19:24):
I remember reading that one inthe book, and I just thought,
wow, right before yourretirement.
Jose (19:30):
It was our.
Genevieve (19:31):
It was our so I'm interested because a lot of
people have said this to you,I'm sure, uh that they're
inspired by your book.
So what parts are they usuallytalking about that they're
inspired by?
Jose (19:46):
Um, there is not particular part that people
actually feel like inspired.
I think most most of thecomments that I receive is that
one, people thought they knewme.
But when they heard about it,they're like they were like
surprised.
But the main the main commentthat I get is that they were
(20:07):
inspired because how I came tothe United States and reached
out to some made your rank.
Genevieve (20:14):
Right.
Jose (20:14):
You know, like you know, you came with nothing, you don't
speak English, even though Itook some courses in my country.
Um, I had no money, noeducation, and all of a sudden
now you have all theseaccreditations, college degrees,
and you know, so it's veryimpressive that you came with
nothing, like anyone else whopotentially uh immigrated to the
(20:37):
United States and now lookwhere you are.
You hear the stories of aperson like that, you know, come
from another country and youmake successful, but actually
meet somebody in person, youknow, that's different.
So that's the main the maincomment that I receive most of
the time is that you know, Iwant to be like you.
I didn't know that it took youall these things to get where
(21:00):
you are, because a lot of peoplesee the end results, but they
don't see all the struggles thatwe go through.
And especially me, because youknow, anybody, if they had the
right discipline and the rightmentorship, they can reach the
sum of your rank in themilitary, you can become a CEO
of the of a corporation.
Genevieve (21:18):
Right.
Jose (21:18):
But you have to add that to other challenges that I have.
No English, uh come from adifferent culture, starting from
zero, in another culture withdifferent rules, different
environments.
So that's add that more intothe challenges that we're
already faced to to get where wewant to be.
So that's the main comment thatI get most of the time.
(21:40):
Is that you did all that andand you still.
Yeah, you know, you didn'tquit, you didn't give up.
Um, there was a point that Iactually was gonna throw the
towel, but but then that'sanother story for later.
Uh but uh but yeah.
Genevieve (21:55):
There's so much more to everybody's stories.
Jose (21:57):
That's that's the main thing, yeah.
Of course, that's the mainthing that I that I received
from people who read the book.
Yeah.
One is that they didn't knowabout a lot of things, and two
that they were impressing mostlybecause of what I had achieved.
Genevieve (22:12):
Yeah.
Well, I just found it reallyinteresting was how you came to
the US and joined the army, andeven while you were at BASIC,
you were still learning theEnglish language, and so you
didn't know some of the commandsand the drills that they were
screaming at you, and it wasstill something that you were
trying to learn.
So I found that just incrediblejust to read.
Jose (22:32):
Yeah, the the challenge part for many people don't know
is learning English is onething.
Yeah, but learning the militarylanguage is a different thing
because you know there's a lotof acronyms that the military
uses.
There are not any dictionaries,like the drill server may say
something.
I say, I don't see that in thedictionary.
Let me look at it, let me lookat it.
I look at the pages on it.
Like it was very it's doublefor me because my culture is
(22:57):
around the military becausethat's the only thing I know
since I came to the UnitedStates.
Other than my my my job as acleaner and a limousine company
or bagging groceries, being asoldier, that's all I knew.
Um and it was very challengedbecause you know, learning to
speak military acronyms andlanguages, not the same as the
regular English.
Genevieve (23:18):
No.
Well, I'm a military brat, grewup military around my dad who
was Air Force, and then Imarried military who's army, and
I still don't know all theacronyms.
That when I was reading, when Iwas reading Chris's book, I'm
like, I need to go to the backbecause that's where he had all
the acronyms written out.
Because I still don't know whatthat means.
I still don't know what thismeans.
So that's really funny.
(23:39):
Well, I really appreciate whereyou you had mentioned in um
mentioned to me you describedyour journey as somebody from
nobody to somebody.
So when you look back, what's amemory that still feels really
unreal when you look back backon how far you've come?
Jose (23:57):
Uh I get that question a lot.
Yeah.
Believe it or not, what mostthings that I look at is I can
speak to you in English.
Genevieve (24:04):
Yeah.
Jose (24:05):
That's it.
That's it.
Um, because you know, it's justthat I don't feel like, and I
don't say this is not as a wayto be arrogant or anything like
that, but you know, all mychildhood I was very successful
students, uh straight-edstudents since I was in high
school.
But the simple fact that I cameto a country where I couldn't
(24:26):
even say nothing.
I mean, I didn't understandanything.
And now I can have aconversation with multiple
people all over the world.
That's the thing that I say,you know, I came from nobody to
somebody.
Because if it wasn't because Ilearned English, I wouldn't be
able to communicate with you,for example.
I wouldn't be able to write abook, I wouldn't be able to have
(24:46):
all the friends that I connectwith on a daily basis, or even
give advice to my kids, giveadvice to people who call me.
That's the main thing.
Because if it wasn't because ofthat, I mean, like, look how
far you become.
You know, you can even say, youknow, uh, there's a story that
I that I that I say about, youknow, when I got a cold and I
want to have some uh medicinefor my flu, and then the this
(25:11):
individual makes fun of mebecause I couldn't express it.
Genevieve (25:14):
Right.
Jose (25:14):
So looking back, that's the only thing that's stuck in
my head.
It's not the degrees, it's notthe become a sign major, it's
not because I get all thesecredentials, academic, and
things like that.
It's none of that.
It's just basically I fullyspeak English.
That's the only thing thatreally uh struck me the most.
And I get that question a lot.
People say, that's it.
I say, Yeah, that's it.
(25:35):
I'm not very, you know, I'm nota very guy who wants a lot.
It's just basic, I'm a simpleguy who's you know came from
humble beginnings, and basicallyspeaking, that's the only thing
I can reflect.
Wow, I can have a conversationwith someone.
I say, my goodness, that'simpressive.
(25:55):
So yeah, that's the only thingI can tell you that uh actually
stuck in my head most of thetime.
People ask me the samequestion.
Genevieve (26:02):
Yeah.
Well, it's funny too.
Uh my background is English.
I taught high school English inthe beginning, and the English
language is hard.
You've got one word and it'sthree pronounced three different
ways and has three differentmeanings.
So I understand.
English is not an easy languageto learn.
Jose (26:21):
Yeah, trust me.
I mean, it took me a littlewhile.
I I'm not saying that I'm veryaccurate in speaking because I
know sometimes when I get veryemotional, I sometimes I tend to
have a very strong accent.
Uh, even when I write a book,there's some parts that actually
Brunella was checking mygrammar.
I said, What do you mean bysaying this?
(26:43):
I say, you know what?
So, yeah, it's still even withall these years, but compare
what I how I came, it's a bigimprovement.
So I'm very proud of that.
Genevieve (26:53):
Absolutely.
Well, I also have uh I I toldyou this before, my background,
my my grandma was Filipino, andso she spoke seven different
dialects, but she spoke goodEnglish, but she could in on and
on flip it and speak theTagalog language.
And yeah, it's just veryimpressive to see that she knew
so many different languages, butshe knew her English.
Jose (27:13):
That's good.
Genevieve (27:15):
So um on that note of speaking, I loved that you
mentioned so someone who didn'tstart out speaking English, you
said you mentioned you dreamingof becoming a motivational
speaker to inspire those whodoubted their own potential, and
you wanted to make history asthe first Salvadorian John
Maxwell, certified speaker,coach, and mentor, which I I
(27:38):
love John Maxwell too.
So, what was it that sparkedthat passion for lifting others
up?
Like what inspired you to wantto be the motivational speaker?
Jose (27:49):
Um wow, I never asked that question before.
Genevieve (27:52):
Yeah.
Jose (27:53):
Um, but I think it's because I I reflect myself in a
lot of young people.
Um I came with nothing, and alot of people actually give me a
hand.
Even though I was naive, Istill learned the the
environment and the UnitedStates culture, there's people
(28:14):
actually saw potential in me.
And those people actually donot have uh uh speaking skills,
it just basically sit down in aconversation with me.
Um but you know, I I want toreach the masses because I can
make a difference in one person,but what about if I can make a
(28:35):
difference in a hundred personor ten thousand person?
And the reason why I say I wantto do that because um it I get
that a lot.
Whenever I do speeches, which Idid quite a few while I was in
active duty and right afterretirement, there is always
someone who approached me andsaid, Thank you for saying X, Y,
(28:57):
and C because actually makes mefeel good.
And one of the stories that Ican tell you that actually
inspired even more to become amotivational speaker was I was
invited to a GRTC dining-in as aguest speaker.
And as soon as I finished myspeech, uh there were two kids
(29:17):
from Venezuela who actuallycame, got the green cards, got
the visas, and they told me, andI'm gonna forget this, and I'm
sorry if I break my voice, butit just when I remember what
they told me was, you know,thank you for saying what you're
saying.
They told me in Spanish.
Yeah, now I believe that I canmake a future in this country
(29:41):
because you just say somethingthat actually impact me, which
is you don't know English.
And I don't know English rightnow.
I just got here with myparents.
I've been in this school sixmonths and try my hard to learn
it.
But you just basically told meyou can make it, and and I'm
gonna promise you that I'm gonnabe the best.
Can't remember what he told meI was gonna.
Gonna be, but all those thingsactually make me feel like,
(30:03):
okay, I have a mission.
Yeah, so I can do this.
You know, so that's why I Iwanted to become the
motivational speaker.
Because if I can transfer thismessage to writing, I can only
imagine somebody listening to mebecause reading the book, you
know, say, well, he probablyused uh Google Translate to do
(30:24):
the book, you know.
But how about he listened tome?
Not just that I can tell youthat I can prove that I look
where I came from, you know,look how far I come, but also
you can hear me, you can talk tome, you can actually touch me.
Genevieve (30:36):
Right.
Jose (30:36):
Because I'm not a celebrity that actually came,
like Arnold Schwarzenegger, youknow, from Austria, came and
become the biggest megastar thatactually am is me.
You can have somebody whoactually can associate, you can
simulate.
And that's why I wanted to todo those those type of of
motivational speaking, to givehopes to the people that
(30:56):
actually that nobody actuallycan tell it, yeah, you know
what?
You can make it too.
Genevieve (31:02):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And I love that too.
I mean, that was another reasonwhy I wanted to bring some
stories, is because we don't getto hear from just the ordinary,
everyday people.
A lot of times you hear fromthe celebrities, and you get the
a lot of the young people thatstart to be inspired or
influenced by those that arealready famous.
But what about the ones thatliving the everyday life?
(31:24):
You know, they want to hearfrom those too.
So absolutely.
Oh, absolutely.
I love that.
Absolutely.
Well, I'm gonna start getting alittle bit deeper into your
hidden chapters.
Oh boy.
And I'd love to talk about youserving in the army and reaching
that rank of sergeant major.
Already being from a differentculture and background, coming
(31:45):
to the United States and thenbeing in the US Army.
What's a hidden chapter of thatmilitary climb that that people
people would never guess fromthe outside?
Jose (31:55):
Well, the ranking itself is very powerful, and a lot of
people think that you know, oneis you when we get to the top,
we have superpowers or anythinglike that.
Um, and also sometimes webelieve that um we can resolve
everything like magic.
We're humans like anybody else,you know.
(32:17):
Um there is sort thesuperpowers could be, for
example, that you know, we canresolve a complex work issue or
personal issue, and you thinkthat this person can make magic.
Yeah, it's not we've mademagic.
It's basically we haveexperience um uh more than the
(32:38):
anybody else.
Um, however, uh I would say ona personal note that originally
ranked some me or something, Ididn't expect it.
Uh, because I always believethat my peers or my my higher up
were smarter than me.
And I'm not saying they're notsmarter than me.
Obviously, everybody's smarterthan me.
But um it's just that I thinkwe have something in common.
(33:02):
It's basically we are verycompetitive.
Genevieve (33:04):
Yeah.
Jose (33:04):
Um, we always get the mentorship required to get all
the way to South Mayor.
Once you get to Sam Mayor,basically you're on your own, in
my opinion.
It's like a reason you become apolitician, then basically now
you're fighting to become thebest politician ever, even
though you had to tackle yourcompetition, your peers.
Genevieve (33:23):
Right.
Jose (33:24):
Some of them are not your friends, some of them are
basically trying to competeagainst you to win popularity.
Not everybody's like that, butthe majority is like that.
So to me, it's a very painfulum lesson that I have.
When I went to Samush Academy,I thought everybody's gonna
embrace me because we areequally, we are sergeant's
(33:46):
majors, we reached a higher paygrade and enlisted in the army.
But not always, it's not alwayslike that.
Um, and that's the lesson thatI learned.
You know, our thoughts aregonna be, you know, are we gonna
be impact, like a, you know, apack of wolves that defend each
other, help each other out.
No, it's not.
(34:06):
It's not.
Um, that is something that Iactually took it personally.
But at the same time, that'ssomething that people don't see
um behind the scenes.
Not everybody's like that, butto me, it was a very painful
lesson.
Uh I got I was disappointed,I'm not gonna lie.
I was a little upset that whythese people believe that
(34:27):
they're about me.
Eventually this adventure isgonna end.
Yeah, you know, a lot of peopledon't think like that.
Uh but one thing that actuallyhelped me out to keep my feet on
the ground and not get you knowget brainwashed by becoming one
of them is that, you know, hey,if I didn't make it, I would be
happy because look how far Ihave become.
Genevieve (34:48):
Right.
Jose (34:49):
But if I made it, it has to be for a reason.
And I remember that, okay, sothis thing's gonna end.
Once I take my uniform off, therank is stayed, but the person
remain.
So that's one thing thatactually helped me out to
navigate that challenge.
Um, that's a lot of peopledon't see that.
Genevieve (35:07):
Right.
Jose (35:07):
Because we're well hidden, you know, but behind the doors,
we're not as tight as we thinkwe are.
Genevieve (35:14):
Yeah.
So and to kind of reinforcewhat you were saying about that,
I I had put a little bit in mynotes where in your book, um,
for anybody that wants to findthat on page 457, I wrote down
that quote because you said, ifyou want to succeed in
connecting with other sergeantmajors, you need to have a
position or something that theycan benefit from.
It's not about friendship andcamaraderie with most of them.
(35:37):
It's only business and tryingto get to the next higher
position.
And I thought it wasinteresting the way you
described it as the big club.
Jose (35:45):
The big club, exactly.
I mean the big club, it's justlike everywhere in the war, you
whether you're in a corporatewar, we're in the politics,
there's always gonna havesomebody to help you out, to
pull you.
They pick and choose who theywant to help.
Genevieve (35:58):
Right.
Jose (35:59):
Um, I was not one of them.
I'm no mad about them, uh nobetter that is basically you
gotta remember at one point theCEO position, the Sign Mayo
position, the Congress positionis gonna end.
Genevieve (36:13):
Yes.
Jose (36:14):
And then what?
Right.
That's that's the only thing Ican consider that you know I'm
happy where I am because at thispoint in my life I'm very
successful.
I achieve a lot of things.
I didn't achieve a lot ofthings, but you know, I'm happy
with the way things turn out.
And I don't have no guiltyanything that I did.
So that's the main part.
(36:35):
I'm in peace with myself afterthe uniform, and that's all.
And I'm very happy with my liferight now.
Genevieve (36:41):
That's so good to hear.
Yeah, and you want to end itthat way too, your career.
Yeah, so I want to go and askyou real quick about those
particular times.
It's good to look back on someof those, but you mentioned
moments of defeat, feelingdemoralized and even sad for
many years.
So you said you reached out forcounseling.
(37:02):
What were some of the thingsthat your counselor gave you as
tools then that have maybehelped you now that you've
transitioned out of themilitary?
Jose (37:12):
Yeah.
Um the main thing that actuallyit is one of my advisors, is
not to hold uh grudges withanybody.
Um things happen for thereason, you know, and it's hard
to swallow.
And even though I'm ahypocritical dad, because I
(37:33):
advise my kids, hey, it's okay.
It's okay.
You know.
Um but if if we're talkingabout the feeling demoralized
and sad, there's two parts thatI would like to clarify about
the question, if I understand itcorrectly, the question right.
Yeah, one is my sad moment, thepress moment, is because I
(37:54):
expected the people to help meout the same way I helped them
out.
Genevieve (37:59):
Yeah.
Jose (37:59):
You know, sometimes it doesn't happen.
You know, sometimes you have todetermine those people are more
they're looking for out,they're looking out for the own
future, they're looking out forthe best of interest.
So you might be in the bestinterest to help you, but
sometimes it's not your time, orsometimes people are so excited
to help you, but they don'tconsider oh man, I make a
(38:21):
promise that I should have made.
So that really it that reallymakes me mad because um because
I expect the people to, youknow, if you promise you're
gonna bring me lunch tomorrowand you didn't, so why?
I mean, what did I do to you inorder to do that?
I was counting on you.
Genevieve (38:38):
Yeah.
Jose (38:39):
Whenever I make a promise, I break my back to make sure I
don't break it.
That's the difference.
But the part that you'retalking about, you know, like
you mentioned about living themilitary.
There is one person, he's noteven a psychologist.
Uh is uh one of my former uh uhinstructors at this Army's
(39:00):
Academy.
And every time I asked me thesame question, I always say his
name, Command Sammy RetiredJamie Hacinski.
He told me something thatactually was the basic of how
I'm gonna manage my life in themilitary.
He said, Ray, you need to findsomething that actually fulfills
your emptiness when you leave.
(39:22):
Because when you leave themilitary, you're gonna, whether
you like it or not, you're gonnafeel empty.
No more coffee breaks, no morecamaraderie with your soldiers,
no more PT together.
It's over.
If it was because he told methat, I probably put it God in
my head right now, probablydrinking a lot of alcohol
because it's depressing oncepeople, you know, leave.
(39:45):
Once you mele the military,there's no more camaraderie.
It's true.
That's true.
You know, um, yeah, you you youmeet with people for once in a
while, but you know, but a lotof people don't want to get out
of the house because once youleave the uniform, you feel
useless because you don't haveno mission to go, you don't have
no meetings to go.
So Jamie, well, actually, I owehim a lot because then I get
(40:09):
emotional again.
If it wasn't because of Jamie,I'd probably be, you know, maybe
in I don't know, somewhere.
Um very, you know, I hadgrandkids now, I still enjoy
him, but you know, if I don't ifI don't take care of that, I
cannot take care of my grandkid.
So thanks to Jamie, uh, I wasable to find the something that
(40:33):
actually fulfilled the emptinesson time before reach the my
transition to the military.
So if Jamie ever read thischapter, I really appreciate him
because he saved my life.
Genevieve (40:46):
Shout out to Jamie.
Oh boy.
Well, I appreciate you sayingthat because I know that that is
a struggle that a lot ofsoldiers that I hear from a lot
of times coming out of themilitary.
That transition is hard.
A lot of people have reallyloved that lifestyle and have
gotten used to that lifestyle ofbeing military, and then when
you get out, it's a very bigtransition.
(41:09):
So you mentioned one of yourbiggest regrets was struggling
to balance your personal lifewith your military career.
And so then later on, you hadlearned to prioritize family.
So I appreciate that uh you hadmentioned you managed to
maintain a friendship with yourformer spouse and were committed
to making amends with yourchildren after all of that.
(41:31):
So retirement has reallybrought a shift for you.
Can you talk about how thatjourney has been for you as
you've taken those small stepstoward making amends?
Jose (41:41):
Well, you know, uh the peace in my two exes is is it
was it was way before themilitary was over.
Um I'm never gonna pay my kidsthe time that I miss with them.
That's that's a guilty partthat I was gonna live.
Um but then and I think now I Itransitioned out of the
military.
(42:02):
Um I I focus more into my kids,even though they're already
adults.
You know, I once a week I videochat with my grandkids.
Um I ask my my son and mydaughter every every today's has
everything going, haseverything going, has everything
going?
Um and funny, I tell a funnystory.
Uh that when I when I was aboutto retire, my kids were excited
(42:24):
and I was surprised.
They asked me, so dad, what yougonna do about it?
And I said, Well, I was lookingat some designs and here, you
know, how my hair would look,maybe if I painted yellow, red.
They look at me like I hadthree eyes, like, what are you
talking about?
I said, you know, it's time forme to become rebellious, dad,
you know, maybe make my firsttattoo in the arms.
(42:45):
So, so a year after, actually,it was last year, I think it was
during a a moment that we gottogether.
Uh, my son and my daughter saidoh dad, so how's the design for
your tattoo coming along?
We we can pull it out right nowand make you help you out.
You know, we have tattoo shopright here.
Like, wait, wait, wait, comeon.
(43:05):
I changed my mind.
It was a moment what we missedthat I was happy that I was
actually spending more time withyou guys, but no, I write to
stay like that.
So it was a story about um uhyou know, that made me feel good
that my kids now understandthat you know my time in the
military, yes, it was hard.
I missed a lot of birthdays, alot of uh moments with them, but
(43:28):
I sacrificed myself to giving agood future, which now they
both enjoy.
Uh so at the end of the day,they understood my my daughter
now is married to an erman, soshe now is walking to the path
of being a uh espouse, militaryspouse, and she now understands
with a full picture what waslike with dad was deployed or
(43:53):
when we PCA, so how hot it is.
So now it helped they helped mereconnect even more with my
kids, which is what I'm reallylooking for.
And I'm I'm very happy the wayit turned out, uh, even after
the years of of being themilitary.
Uh, you know, connection withmy spouses, um, always been like
that because I know as a humanbeing will make mistakes, but it
(44:17):
does not mean that we're gonnafile like a tax and cats and
dogs.
We put our differences to thesize, and you know, the let's
let's let's weigh the whiteflag, please.
Yeah, the white flag, and soyeah.
Genevieve (44:31):
So uh just as a side question, uh have your children
or your ex-spouses been able toread your book?
And if they have, what has beensome of their reactions?
Jose (44:42):
Oh, I know I shouldn't say nothing about that.
Well, you know what?
Uh I'll be honest with you.
So, first of all, um I askedpermission to both of them.
And I said, Look, I want to askyou this.
You know, and if you're okaynot to mention anything, that's
fine.
Uh, one of my rules uh when Italk with Brunel about the books
(45:06):
is I don't want to mention thenames.
Uh, one is because I want toprotect the privacy.
Yes, everybody knows who I wasmarried for, but 99% of people
don't know because my my lifehas to be very private.
So I didn't want to include thenames, but I want to include
the situation that makes mebreak my marriage.
(45:26):
So after I had a conversationwith both of them, I said, Yeah,
go ahead.
So my ex-pouse number two wasthe first one who bought the
book.
The first book that I ever saw,he bought it.
And she sent me a picture.
I said, Look what I got.
I said, Oh Lord Jesus havemercy.
And I thought she's gonna justtell me after I read, you are
(45:48):
no.
So she sent me a text message,and she said, You know what?
I don't know you.
But after I read what you'vebeen through, I'm so sorry that
our marriage didn't work out andI didn't understand you.
(46:09):
That was a lot.
That was just a sentence thatshe texted me that she said, you
know what?
But I didn't appreciate thatyou only dedicate me half a
book, half a page.
But but the simple fact thatshe I thought she's gonna be mad
(46:30):
at me because of what I said.
No, she was she she actuallyshe she feels bad because she
thought she knew me.
Yeah, and again, you know, it'sa lot of things I didn't say,
and a lot of things she knewabout me, but not to the deep
understanding the book.
My spouse number one, I don'tknow if I read the book, but to
(46:50):
this point we're still talking,so I'm assuming she read it and
she's okay with it.
So yeah, but wife number two,she's uh she actually just uh
and that was the one that I wasafraid, most afraid because that
wasn't the most drawn that Ihave.
Uh but no, uh she actually shenow she wants another copy
because I'm working on theSpanish version.
(47:10):
Oh so she was now a copy ofthis second book, and she has
promote a book with uh herclassmates on high school
because she had a high schoolreunion not too long ago, and
which some of them are friendswith mine, so I'm working hard
to get that Spanish version upand running that way I can buy
them.
So that's funny, and the onlything she was mad about is you
(47:31):
only gave her a page, exactly,exactly, and she said publicly
we have a group, a groupchatting on WhatsApp with our
high school people that say,Well, I don't appreciate he only
gave me half a page.
Genevieve (47:44):
Half a page, not a half a page, okay.
Jose (47:46):
Well, but I appreciate her comments and I appreciate her
friendship, you know.
Things that work out, but it iswhat it is.
Genevieve (47:55):
Yeah, but it is nice, I think, to be able to have
that conversation even afterthat once she read it, that
there were things that she evenrealized that maybe that didn't
get communicated then, but nowgets communicated that I never
knew.
I didn't know this about you.
And that kind of happened withum my reading of Chris's book
when he was going through theprocess and it was slowly coming
(48:18):
into the manuscript formed, andBrunel and him were editing it.
He had told me all this time,he says, It's just on the
computer.
You're welcome to read it.
And my mentality at the timewas, I'm not reading that.
I've lived it with you.
I mean, honestly, it's like Idon't need to read it.
I've been through all of thiswith you, I know all the
stories.
But it was right around um thefinal edits with him and
(48:40):
Brunella that I said, I gottaget over myself.
I'm gonna read this.
And so he gave it to me.
I downloaded on my phone and Iworked through the chapters
nightly.
So we would go to bed, he wouldgo to sleep, and I would
actually sit up with my phoneand read it in the dark.
And so I was running throughchapters, I was going through a
couple of different things I'veknown about uh his history with
(49:02):
infantry and then some of thestruggles.
But it was towards the end thatwe had differences of opinions
on certain things that it tookme a moment.
And I expressed this later tohim.
I said, I I was mad originallybecause of just what my
perspective.
And we didn't necessarily talkabout that.
So when I finished the book, weactually had to have a really
(49:25):
hard discussion because I waslike, I don't like this, I don't
like this at all.
And um, and and then I rememberhim saying, 'Cause were you mad
because you didn't get morerecognition than this?
And I said, No, no, that's notit at all.
I said, I'm just mad because ofthe way that this was your
perspective and this was myperspective.
And so it was we laugh about itnow, of course, but it it had
(49:46):
to open up the communicationbecause we just didn't talk
about that.
So yeah, I like that you saidthat because it's true, you
know, when you start puttingthese things on paper and then
somebody reads them, you have noidea what the reaction is.
But then sometimes when youfinally have that open
communication, some good thingscan come out of it where they
go.
I never knew.
(50:06):
Well, I'm gonna go ahead andstart wrapping this up.
I just want to ask you a couplequestions about the what's next
chapters.
So you said you had consideredactually writing another book to
discuss your life outside ofthe uniform.
So tell me a little bit abouthow retirement life is going for
(50:27):
you.
And is it meeting some of yourgoals or expectations that you
thought, especially after 30years of being military?
And then what would your nextbook be?
So kind of a loaded question.
Jose (50:38):
That's okay.
I can wrap it up.
Um, how is my life as aretirement?
Good.
Um, I can complain.
Genevieve (50:44):
Yeah.
Jose (50:45):
Um, but it took me three years to be where I am right
now.
I I'm reaching my my third yearof retirement.
The first year wasexpectations, you know, dreams.
You know, I want to becomemotivation speaker, you want to
become this, you want to becomethat.
Uh, and again, you know, I Iwas hoping that a lot of my
peers uh would help me out tonavigate to the challenge to be
(51:08):
retiring and still um doingsomething to mitigate the
emptiness that I was gonna feelafter leaving uniform, but none
of that happened.
The second year I had torealize okay, I had to do
something because you know Ilike to talk, I like to give
motivational speaking.
Um, in my social media page, Iput a lot of uh his historical
(51:31):
stuff with a touch of a messageof optimism and hope.
But I also like to fix cars.
Uh uh that's another story, along story.
And I was in Germany, and uh inGermany I have an oil leak that
eventually turned me into aphenomenal mechanic, uh Jimmy
(51:51):
Tasker.
Uh he was the manager of theNWR uh auto skills in Pulaski,
Germany.
And he actually made me fall inlove with being a mechanic,
which is what I do now.
Um so eventually the book waspart of my goals, which I did.
Um, and eventually, I like Imentioned previously, I'm
(52:14):
working on the Spanish version.
But now Brunella brought mesomething on the mind that said,
well, the next book should talkabout leadership.
And I said, I don't think so.
You know, there's many books ofleadership out there that I
don't think they're gonna fit.
So I'm gonna be the onerebellious guy who always goes
what nobody else does.
So I'm planning to do somethingabout the true hitting moments
(52:37):
where you know nobody sees asoldier without a uniform once
you retire.
Um, I was thinking about, youknow, okay, so how am I gonna
name it?
Because out of the blooming, Ithink I was having dinner with
my with my grandkid, and uh um Idon't know what happened, and
then my daughter said something,and I said, No, he's not crazy,
he just me.
(52:58):
I passed my DNA to him.
Um and I said, Oh, you knowwhat?
That's a good title.
You're not crazy, it's in yourDNA.
And what I mean by that is alot of veterans uh start opening
up more now, once in themilitary, and they're always
wondering, you know, um, if thisis really me or I'm in sick.
(53:21):
No, you're not sick.
You're not crazy.
It's just in your DNA, ithappens to you.
You have to understand it inorder to learn how to live it.
And once you understand it andaccept it, you'll be able to
manage and feel morecompassionate about you, you
feel more resilient for you.
You know, so that's my focus.
(53:41):
Hopefully, it becomes areality.
It won't be as extended at thispoint, it's very probably a
small version.
Uh people, people for people beeasy to understand and read it.
So we'll see what happened.
You know, we'll see whathappened um after that.
So more to follow.
Genevieve (53:58):
I love that because too, we've had more Chris and I
actually our season two will airand it will be his take on a
lot of things from his militarycareer and going a little deeper
into his book and the mentalstruggles.
And we talk about thetransition as being the hardest
thing we both have had to do,both as the service member and
(54:21):
the spouse.
Because my own transition,after spending all of those
years being his support in themilitary, I have my own traumas,
I have my own experiences.
And same with him as he'stransition transitioned out,
because we're also in our thirdyear post-retirement, that we uh
are still trying to figurethings out, we're still trying
to navigate what that lookslike, what that feels like, what
(54:44):
do we do, you know?
And then um this new journey toshare these stories, I believe,
was is the next step becausethere are so many veterans out
there that need to hear more andmore veterans that I think
would benefit from opening up.
So yeah, those are definitelyneeded.
So well, Jose, I want to endthis with telling you thank you
(55:08):
so much.
Especially y'all need to knowthat Jose and I are in two
different uh continents and twouh two different time zones.
He's in Barcelona and I'm inHuntsville, Alabama.
So, Jose, I want to say thankyou so much for meeting me and
sharing your story.
And I'm so grateful to Brunellafor recommending my podcast
because I thought your story wasjust incredible and definitely
(55:30):
a fit for hidden chapters.
Jose (55:32):
So I appreciate the opportunity.
Um, thank you.
Um, like I told Brunella, youknow, people cross paths uh with
me.
Uh as you know, that's that'sthe rule of life, I guess.
People cross paths with you fora reason.
And I hope that um this is thebeginning of a wonderful uh
relationship with you as well.
(55:53):
Um looking forward to read yourhusband's book as well, um, and
also uh to learn somethingabout his journey as well.
So, but I appreciate theopportunity.
Um I for those people whoprobably don't see, but I did my
hair, uh Shay, I have a bestjacket to put on.
So, you know, just you have tojust figure it out and and and
(56:14):
and imagine that I was there.
Genevieve (56:17):
Yeah.
Jose (56:18):
And you know, I'm not six foot tall like people think of
because of my voice.
I'm only a 61 inches tall guy.
So, but thank you, appreciateyou for the opportunity.
I really have a good time doingthe interview.
Genevieve (56:29):
Me too.
Well, thank you, Jose.
I can't wait to hear the impactJose makes with future podcast
appearances and beyond.
I'm hoping his story continuesto reach more readers and
listeners.
Be sure to check out the linksin the show notes where you can
purchase Jose's book.
And if you'd like to contactJose, those links to his
(56:50):
Facebook page and email are inthe show notes.
Be sure to follow HiddenChapters on Substack.
That's where we also stayconnected between episodes.
The most powerful stories arethe ones we don't see.
May your hidden chapters bringlight to someone else's journey.
Thanks for listening to HiddenChapters.
Hi there.
Thank you for choosing tolisten to Hidden Chapters, where
we share the hidden momentsbehind the public chapters of
life.
The struggles, triumphs, andlessons that often go unspoken.
I'm excited to introduce JoseRaimundo.
Jose, or Ray, retired from themilitary after 30 years of
service.
(00:20):
He's a dedicated husband,father, proud grandfather, and a
first-time author driven by apassion for helping others.
His debut memoir, Brave NewHorizons from El Salvador to the
U.S.
Army, tells the inspiring storyof an immigrant who arrived
with very little and transformedhis life through determination
(00:41):
and discipline, ultimatelyrising to the rank of sergeant
major.
When he's not writing, hecherishes moments with his adult
children and grandchild.
Fixes cars, creates upliftingmotivational posts on social
media, and embraces everyopportunity to learn and grow.
So many hidden chapters in hisstory.
Toward the end of last season,I was excited to receive an
(01:07):
email from Jose mentioning hewas recommended my podcast by
his editor Brunella.
Brunella's the same editor ofmy husband's book, so I was
honored for the recommendation.
Once Jose and I had theopportunity to talk and he
shared a story with me, I knewhis book and his hidden chapters
would be a perfect fit inseason two.
So I'm excited to welcome Joseto the show.
Jose (01:29):
Well, thank you.
Appreciate it.
Genevieve (01:30):
Of course.
So your book was released inMay, and this is your podcast
debut.
Jose (01:37):
I'm excited for that.
I'm kind of nervous, but that'sokay.
I go with the flow.
Genevieve (01:42):
That's all right.
Well, this will kick off therest of your future podcast
guests' appearances.
All right.
So I want to gr uh get intothat first question about the
journey before your book.
So what inspired you to writeyour story and turn it into a
book?
Jose (02:00):
Well, there's two parts of the stories about it.
The first one is um when Istarted this, originally it was
I was trying to create somethinglike a referral book or an
encyclopedia specifically foryoung soldiers going to the
military.
Um, the book was not originallyintended to become what it is
(02:22):
now, which is almost myautobiography memorial, but it
was more like, okay, so as ayoung soldier going to the
military, um, not speakingEnglish the first language.
Genevieve (02:32):
Yeah.
Jose (02:33):
What am I supposed to do?
What am I supposed to do?
How am I supposed to tacklethis adventure?
Yes, the military had a lot ofuh reference.
You got technical manuals, youhave regulations, you got all
those things that tell you whathow you're supposed to do
everything in the military fromhow to march, how to prepare for
your physical fitness test, howdo you prepare for the incoming
(02:53):
promotion board?
But my book was morepersonalized about the
experience.
For example, you know, how doyou tackle nervousness when
you're about to encounter apromotion board?
How can you manage a challengedsoldier who doesn't want to
listen?
Um, how do you manage asituation where a soldier is is
is is trying to be a goodsoldier, but somehow he's
(03:15):
doubting about himself.
How do you manage a toxicleader?
So it was more about you knowum creating a reference book.
But all that changed when I didmy speech uh in my retirement.
Uh a lot of people knew who thesergeant major was, but a few
people knew who actually I wasas a person.
(03:37):
So, of course, part of myspeech was uh my history, how I
came to the United States, Ididn't speak English, I had any
money, no education.
So a few people approached meafter the um the the speech and
they said you should write abook about it because there's a
lot of people up there thatactually may change, may face
(03:58):
those challenges that you did.
And that book might probablyhelp him to navigate and
understand that hey, you knowwhat?
If he did it, I'm dumb as arock.
Um obviously I can make it too.
And I use that book as a way totranspire a message, utilize
amount of history that you know,no matter what your
(04:20):
circumstances, you can succeedin life, not just in the
military, but in general.
Um, and that's how turned outto be a memorial um from what I
originally started to where itis now.
Genevieve (04:33):
Yeah.
And I love that too, because Ionce I really dove into your
book, I was intrigued from thevery beginning of all of the
things that you started early inyour life and the things that
you succeeded in.
That yes, your messagedefinitely is somebody who
literally came from nothing, cando so much.
So I loved that that was amessage that you ultimately
(04:54):
turned it into because I dobelieve that that's something a
lot of people need to hear.
So, what's something about yourjourney to becoming a published
author that most people aren'tseeing or have heard about?
Jose (05:09):
Uh, well, you know what?
I I originally when I startedwriting, um, just because I have
to revive a lot of my past,yeah, it brought me a lot of
emotionals.
You know, I cried, I was angry,um, I even laugh about so many
things to the point that I hadto take a break.
Um, because I I I reached apoint that, you know, by
(05:32):
connecting with my past,depending on what part of the
book I was writing, I like Itold you, I couldn't cry.
I was very upset that to thepoint that I was talking to
Brunella, my editor, and I said,No, I cannot do this no more
because I have to take a break.
Genevieve (05:46):
Yeah.
Jose (05:47):
Because remember certain parts of the book, I feel this
way, I feel this way.
And she encouraged me, Iunderstand, take a break, but
it's normal for you to connectin your past.
Depending on what kind of bookyou're writing.
In my case, it was a biographyfor my life, for my experiences.
Remembering those things likehaving a PTSD all over again.
(06:08):
And it was very hard.
That's not the part a lot ofpeople don't see that it was
easy to write, but when youremember things that happened in
the past, to me, it really hurtme, it really touched me.
So it took me a long time tofinish the writer.
I say, oh, this is easy.
I can do this in a couple ofmonths, I can do maybe 10 pages
(06:29):
a day.
But I didn't consider theconsequences of how those
write-ups starts, those pagesare gonna affect me, but I
remember things that I I Iburied in the past.
It's still in my mind, but Ididn't expect it to affect me so
much to the the way they didit.
So that's not too many peopleknow about it.
(06:50):
But um, I'm glad I did becausesomehow it helped me to therapy,
but at the same time, it reallyhurt me because it reminds me
about what I what I've beenthrough all my life.
Genevieve (07:01):
No, I understand that completely.
Uh, especially watching Chrisgo through the same process of
writing a book.
It's what I'm hearing a lot, iswhere you're really having to
dig deep, especially beingmilitary.
There's a lot of people thatsay that, but they suppress it
because it's not the time tohave that conversation.
It's not the time to workthrough that because you're
trying to continue to stay on amission.
(07:21):
But then it is usually that I'mhearing after that retirement
and after that uniform comesoff, and you have to unpack that
rucksack, that's when a lot ofthose things have to be dealt
with.
And so I watched Chris similarto what you were saying, is he
had to literally push himselfaway from the computer because
there were days he was angry,there was days he was sad, there
(07:44):
was days he was like, I'm done,I'm not doing this.
And so I can completelyunderstand where that's coming
from.
About how long did it take you?
What what come what was yourbreak time frame?
Jose (07:55):
So originally when I started, I started writing
around February of the sameyear.
I was gonna retire 2022.
Okay, my intention was tofinish everything and publish
the book the day of myretirement, which it was one
November.
It took me two years.
It took me 10 months, like Ithought.
(08:15):
Um, not just because of thesituation that I just described
to you, but also you gottaconsider that I'm about to
publish intimate details of mylife to the public.
Genevieve (08:26):
Absolutely.
Jose (08:27):
And, you know, like, you know, do you want to continue
with this or not?
Because eventually it was notso much about become famous or
people know me.
It's because just like thestigmatized that we do with the
with the health, uh, with mentalhealth.
Genevieve (08:42):
Yes.
Jose (08:42):
If you don't speak about it, you don't know who's
listening.
And that person may be hiddensomewhere saying, I'm the only
one who's suffering from this,but you never know who else is
going through the samesituation.
So just described to you somany events that happened to me
in my life throughout my 30years in the military before
(09:03):
that maybe somebody who'sreading the book, somebody who
is listening to my story andsaying, you know what, I thought
I was the only one.
And maybe that createsconnection, maybe in person,
maybe virtual, maybe through abook, that can actually help
that person to navigate to thechallenges the same way that I
did.
So that's that's the anotherpart that people don't know
(09:24):
about it.
So I was very nervous, I wasvery uh attention.
I was like, what about peopledon't like it?
What about this part?
But I said, you know what?
I mean, it is what it is, I'mhuman, and maybe somebody may
help this book to become hisnavigation tool or her
navigation too.
Who knows?
Genevieve (09:42):
Right.
Well, that was the when wespoke too, that was the heart of
why hidden chapters came aboutfor me, is because I knew
there's so many of us that havestories that we don't often
share.
And people gonna are gonna lookat you from face value and have
no idea what you've beenthrough.
But when you get thoseopportunities to share those
things, that's where that realconnection comes in because you
never know, like you said afteryour retirement speech, how many
(10:04):
people came up to you and go, Iresonated with that.
Or wow, me too.
And I really appreciate thepeople that have come on so far,
like yourself, who are takingthe time to share that story
because it does need to beheard.
And when you do share those, wenever know who's listening on
the other end and goes, I'vebeen there, done that,
understand that.
Yeah.
So I really I appreciate all ofyou all there sharing your
(10:27):
stories on paper, sharing yourstories on the mic because it is
gonna resonate with somebody.
We just have no idea who isgonna dead.
So was there a chapter orsection that in between your
writing was especially hard oremotional to write?
Jose (10:43):
Um, there were three parts actually that were very hard
for me to write.
Um and I asked Brunella aboutit, my editor, and I asked, you
know, myself multiple timesshould I do it?
The first one was to talk aboutthe many events of suicide
between my family.
Uh because again, when when Iremember those parts, uh it's
(11:06):
very hard for me to talk aboutit.
I didn't want to mention thembecause you know I respect um my
family and a sense I want tokeep them private.
But I think it's importantbecause you know how many people
actually struggle with thissituation.
I didn't mention details, butat least the emotions that came
with knowing that I experiencedthat three times.
(11:28):
Yeah.
Maybe somebody's out there needhelp, you know, and in and
hopefully, you know, peoplereach out to me and ask me
advice on how to manage thosethings.
I'm not a doctor, but you know,I'm a human being.
The second part for me to writewas about my kids, you know,
because again, no, it doesn'tmatter how much I can do for
them now, but I still feel thatum I owe them a lot.
(11:51):
It's it's it's my guiltyconscience that I think that I
was I didn't balance militaryand personal life like
appropriately, like anybodyelse.
I didn't have a a book to tellme how to become a dad and thing
like that.
You know, I didn't have a rolemodel.
Uh I didn't grow up with afather, but I did the best I
(12:11):
could, which is kind of hard forme to write.
And the last part that actuallythis is very hard was my uh my
investigation that took placeright before my retirement.
Um, the allegedly situationthat I was facing.
The reason it was hard for meto write because it really hurts
me because I'm not the type ofperson who's gonna hurt
somebody's career or somebody'sfeelings.
(12:34):
Um and it to me it was verypainful to be associated with a
person like that, you know,being uh somebody who actually
be a lookout for.
Uh and and and I tell you, itwas very painful for me that I
could, you know, do some harmunintentionally to this person.
Um at the end, everything wasresolved.
(12:56):
Um there is extendedcircumstances that create that
probably I think it created thatmisunderstanding with this
person, but I'm not here tojudge.
I'm just bear to experiencethat you know that it really
hurt me, it really touched meemotionally and personally.
Um and that was part of myjourney.
Genevieve (13:17):
That was an interesting one that I had read
uh about your uh situation.
Do you mind going back overthat again?
Of just the setup of of whatwas happening right before your
retirement.
Jose (13:30):
So when when I found out about it, the the allegedly uh
crime that I committed, uh Ifelt defeat because you know,
how can I somebody do something?
I'm not capable of doinganything like that.
I was that's a lot of emotioncame to my mind.
Genevieve (13:47):
Yeah.
Jose (13:48):
And even though people believe in me on my innocent,
you know, it's just the factthat people don't know me or
just the fact that my name wasassociated with this type of uh
crime, it was very painful forme.
Because you were accused of uhI like Julian sexual harassment.
Genevieve (14:04):
Right, that's right.
Jose (14:06):
Um so at the end of uh the investigation, which basically
I received a letter of uh uhfrom the commanding general
telling me everything was clearand we apologize for
misunderstood that you cancontinue, you transition to
retirement.
It was not the same, it wasn'tthe same.
I feel like you know, I don'twant to celebrate something
(14:26):
knowing that I am being labeled,even though I was already
clear, but it's not the same.
It's like you have a cop andyou break the cup, yeah, you can
get glue and put it together.
It looked the same, but it'snot gonna be the same.
Genevieve (14:41):
Right.
Jose (14:41):
So I was very painful.
I did not receive uh anyretirement party.
I did not receive anyrecognitions in front of the
audience.
Basically, I just give it to mein a lunch break, um, away from
anybody else.
Because I think in my because Iput a lot of pressure on me, I
didn't deserve it.
Uh, so it's very painful for meto be walking around with glory
(15:04):
other stuff after you know thesituation.
So it really touched me a lot.
It took me a while even to havea conversation with one of the
supervisors of the soldier.
They were my friends, you know.
And a year after the incident,I went to have coffee with this
person and I said, Can I ask yousomething?
(15:25):
We are friends, it's alreadyover, but why you didn't tell me
why you didn't call me and askme face-to-face if this was
true?
I understand that there wassome situation where, you know,
like the the people biginterview cannot talk to the
allegedly perpetrator.
Genevieve (15:43):
Right.
Jose (15:44):
But, you know, the investigation was over.
So why you didn't call me andhave the conversation with me to
clear any misunderstanding?
And he started crying and hestarted apologizing because he
thought my social media pagesthat oh, he looks okay, he
pushed his retirement page, hepushed his retirement picture
with his family.
(16:05):
He must be happy, he must begetting over.
Internally, I was devastated.
Yeah, but he didn't know aboutit.
So he said, he said, uh, Iguess I uh like anybody else on
social media, don't takeeverything like you see on
social media because you neverknow what's going through.
And I tell you, I have to talkto psychologists, I have to talk
to doctors in order to how didI manage this thing?
(16:27):
I feel bad, you know, but atthe same time, I cannot believe
that really hurt me most as ismy friends give me the back when
I need it the most.
Not a single person called meto check on me.
Not a single person, only mycommanding general, my company
commander, and my firstsergeant.
That's the only three peoplethat call me all the time to
(16:48):
check on me.
Nobody else did that.
So that really hurt me the mostbecause, you know, I'm alone.
Yeah.
You know, it's just like again,the book, you know, I had
disappointment with manyfriends, and that was a very,
very painful moment for me.
Genevieve (17:02):
What made you decide to include that?
Because I know how painful thatwas for you.
What was that process?
You had felt like it needed tobe included, but what was that
process like having to writethrough that and then decide to
keep it in the book?
Jose (17:17):
Well, to write it was the easy part because you know it's
like my psychology always says,you know, use the paper to write
your emotions.
Yeah.
Don't spit it out to people.
Um the hard part was to decidewhether not to include it.
So I talked to Brunella, Italked to my psychology, you
know, Shula, Shulana, and Isaid, Well, you know, I mean,
(17:38):
you're human.
You know, don't portray apicture that you're the perfect
man, the perfect sur mayor, theperfect soldier.
There's no perfection on thisplanet.
Yeah, you know, and basicallyit's part of your journey.
You never know who else isgoing to this thing.
Um, and people who actuallyknow you, they're gonna believe
it.
People don't know you, they'regonna believe it, but at the
(17:58):
same time, you know, it's partof who you are.
So it was it was like, yes, no,yes, no, yes, no.
I was like that for at least, Iwould say probably three
months.
Genevieve (18:10):
Wow.
Jose (18:11):
You know, just to decide whether or not to include it.
Um, I didn't have anything tohide again.
I didn't put any names topreserve the names of those
individuals.
Uh, a lot of people probablydidn't know about it.
Genevieve (18:23):
Yeah.
Jose (18:24):
Um, but again, you know, it was very hard to decide.
And that was the only chartthat I was left before the book
was completed.
They're like, Do you want toinclude it?
Uh in Brunel, I was like, letme tell you my advice as an
editor, not as a person.
I talked to my psychology, letme give you my experience on
this.
And, you know, even I talked tomy daughter, so what do you
(18:46):
think?
So eventually I say, okay, itis what it is, let's go with the
rule.
So it turned out to be good toa certain thing because uh uh a
lot of people focus more intowhat I have achieved and the
message that I'm trying to passas opposed to that specific
chapter of my life.
Genevieve (19:02):
So and I think too, being as transparent as we can
be, that brings more peopleconnected to you because you are
being very real, you are beingvery authentic.
And like you said, you'rehuman.
So they were these were thingsthat happened in your life that
you experienced, and they justmake you more relatable.
So I appreciate you telling methat one too, because I did.
(19:24):
I remember reading that one inthe book, and I just thought,
wow, right before yourretirement.
Jose (19:30):
It was our.
Genevieve (19:31):
It was our so I'm interested because a lot of
people have said this to you,I'm sure, uh that they're
inspired by your book.
So what parts are they usuallytalking about that they're
inspired by?
Jose (19:46):
Um, there is not particular part that people
actually feel like inspired.
I think most most of thecomments that I receive is that
one, people thought they knewme.
But when they heard about it,they're like they were like
surprised.
But the main the main commentthat I get is that they were
(20:07):
inspired because how I came tothe United States and reached
out to some made your rank.
Genevieve (20:14):
Right.
Jose (20:14):
You know, like you know, you came with nothing, you don't
speak English, even though Itook some courses in my country.
Um, I had no money, noeducation, and all of a sudden
now you have all theseaccreditations, college degrees,
and you know, so it's veryimpressive that you came with
nothing, like anyone else whopotentially uh immigrated to the
(20:37):
United States and now lookwhere you are.
You hear the stories of aperson like that, you know, come
from another country and youmake successful, but actually
meet somebody in person, youknow, that's different.
So that's the main the maincomment that I receive most of
the time is that you know, Iwant to be like you.
I didn't know that it took youall these things to get where
(21:00):
you are, because a lot of peoplesee the end results, but they
don't see all the struggles thatwe go through.
And especially me, because youknow, anybody, if they had the
right discipline and the rightmentorship, they can reach the
sum of your rank in themilitary, you can become a CEO
of the of a corporation.
Genevieve (21:18):
Right.
Jose (21:18):
But you have to add that to other challenges that I have.
No English, uh come from adifferent culture, starting from
zero, in another culture withdifferent rules, different
environments.
So that's add that more intothe challenges that we're
already faced to to get where wewant to be.
So that's the main comment thatI get most of the time.
(21:40):
Is that you did all that andand you still.
Yeah, you know, you didn'tquit, you didn't give up.
Um, there was a point that Iactually was gonna throw the
towel, but but then that'sanother story for later.
Uh but uh but yeah.
Genevieve (21:55):
There's so much more to everybody's stories.
Jose (21:57):
That's that's the main thing, yeah.
Of course, that's the mainthing that I that I received
from people who read the book.
Yeah.
One is that they didn't knowabout a lot of things, and two
that they were impressing mostlybecause of what I had achieved.
Genevieve (22:12):
Yeah.
Well, I just found it reallyinteresting was how you came to
the US and joined the army, andeven while you were at BASIC,
you were still learning theEnglish language, and so you
didn't know some of the commandsand the drills that they were
screaming at you, and it wasstill something that you were
trying to learn.
So I found that just incrediblejust to read.
Jose (22:32):
Yeah, the the challenge part for many people don't know
is learning English is onething.
Yeah, but learning the militarylanguage is a different thing
because you know there's a lotof acronyms that the military
uses.
There are not any dictionaries,like the drill server may say
something.
I say, I don't see that in thedictionary.
Let me look at it, let me lookat it.
I look at the pages on it.
Like it was very it's doublefor me because my culture is
(22:57):
around the military becausethat's the only thing I know
since I came to the UnitedStates.
Other than my my my job as acleaner and a limousine company
or bagging groceries, being asoldier, that's all I knew.
Um and it was very challengedbecause you know, learning to
speak military acronyms andlanguages, not the same as the
regular English.
Genevieve (23:18):
No.
Well, I'm a military brat, grewup military around my dad who
was Air Force, and then Imarried military who's army, and
I still don't know all theacronyms.
That when I was reading, when Iwas reading Chris's book, I'm
like, I need to go to the backbecause that's where he had all
the acronyms written out.
Because I still don't know whatthat means.
I still don't know what thismeans.
So that's really funny.
(23:39):
Well, I really appreciate whereyou you had mentioned in um
mentioned to me you describedyour journey as somebody from
nobody to somebody.
So when you look back, what's amemory that still feels really
unreal when you look back backon how far you've come?
Jose (23:57):
Uh I get that question a lot.
Yeah.
Believe it or not, what mostthings that I look at is I can
speak to you in English.
Genevieve (24:04):
Yeah.
Jose (24:05):
That's it.
That's it.
Um, because you know, it's justthat I don't feel like, and I
don't say this is not as a wayto be arrogant or anything like
that, but you know, all mychildhood I was very successful
students, uh straight-edstudents since I was in high
school.
But the simple fact that I cameto a country where I couldn't
(24:26):
even say nothing.
I mean, I didn't understandanything.
And now I can have aconversation with multiple
people all over the world.
That's the thing that I say,you know, I came from nobody to
somebody.
Because if it wasn't because Ilearned English, I wouldn't be
able to communicate with you,for example.
I wouldn't be able to write abook, I wouldn't be able to have
(24:46):
all the friends that I connectwith on a daily basis, or even
give advice to my kids, giveadvice to people who call me.
That's the main thing.
Because if it wasn't because ofthat, I mean, like, look how
far you become.
You know, you can even say, youknow, uh, there's a story that
I that I that I say about, youknow, when I got a cold and I
want to have some uh medicinefor my flu, and then the this
(25:11):
individual makes fun of mebecause I couldn't express it.
Genevieve (25:14):
Right.
Jose (25:14):
So looking back, that's the only thing that's stuck in
my head.
It's not the degrees, it's notthe become a sign major, it's
not because I get all thesecredentials, academic, and
things like that.
It's none of that.
It's just basically I fullyspeak English.
That's the only thing thatreally uh struck me the most.
And I get that question a lot.
People say, that's it.
I say, Yeah, that's it.
(25:35):
I'm not very, you know, I'm nota very guy who wants a lot.
It's just basic, I'm a simpleguy who's you know came from
humble beginnings, and basicallyspeaking, that's the only thing
I can reflect.
Wow, I can have a conversationwith someone.
I say, my goodness, that'simpressive.
(25:55):
So yeah, that's the only thingI can tell you that uh actually
stuck in my head most of thetime.
People ask me the samequestion.
Genevieve (26:02):
Yeah.
Well, it's funny too.
Uh my background is English.
I taught high school English inthe beginning, and the English
language is hard.
You've got one word and it'sthree pronounced three different
ways and has three differentmeanings.
So I understand.
English is not an easy languageto learn.
Jose (26:21):
Yeah, trust me.
I mean, it took me a littlewhile.
I I'm not saying that I'm veryaccurate in speaking because I
know sometimes when I get veryemotional, I sometimes I tend to
have a very strong accent.
Uh, even when I write a book,there's some parts that actually
Brunella was checking mygrammar.
I said, What do you mean bysaying this?
(26:43):
I say, you know what?
So, yeah, it's still even withall these years, but compare
what I how I came, it's a bigimprovement.
So I'm very proud of that.
Genevieve (26:53):
Absolutely.
Well, I also have uh I I toldyou this before, my background,
my my grandma was Filipino, andso she spoke seven different
dialects, but she spoke goodEnglish, but she could in on and
on flip it and speak theTagalog language.
And yeah, it's just veryimpressive to see that she knew
so many different languages, butshe knew her English.
Jose (27:13):
That's good.
Genevieve (27:15):
So um on that note of speaking, I loved that you
mentioned so someone who didn'tstart out speaking English, you
said you mentioned you dreamingof becoming a motivational
speaker to inspire those whodoubted their own potential, and
you wanted to make history asthe first Salvadorian John
Maxwell, certified speaker,coach, and mentor, which I I
(27:38):
love John Maxwell too.
So, what was it that sparkedthat passion for lifting others
up?
Like what inspired you to wantto be the motivational speaker?
Jose (27:49):
Um wow, I never asked that question before.
Genevieve (27:52):
Yeah.
Jose (27:53):
Um, but I think it's because I I reflect myself in a
lot of young people.
Um I came with nothing, and alot of people actually give me a
hand.
Even though I was naive, Istill learned the the
environment and the UnitedStates culture, there's people
(28:14):
actually saw potential in me.
And those people actually donot have uh uh speaking skills,
it just basically sit down in aconversation with me.
Um but you know, I I want toreach the masses because I can
make a difference in one person,but what about if I can make a
(28:35):
difference in a hundred personor ten thousand person?
And the reason why I say I wantto do that because um it I get
that a lot.
Whenever I do speeches, which Idid quite a few while I was in
active duty and right afterretirement, there is always
someone who approached me andsaid, Thank you for saying X, Y,
(28:57):
and C because actually makes mefeel good.
And one of the stories that Ican tell you that actually
inspired even more to become amotivational speaker was I was
invited to a GRTC dining-in as aguest speaker.
And as soon as I finished myspeech, uh there were two kids
(29:17):
from Venezuela who actuallycame, got the green cards, got
the visas, and they told me, andI'm gonna forget this, and I'm
sorry if I break my voice, butit just when I remember what
they told me was, you know,thank you for saying what you're
saying.
They told me in Spanish.
Yeah, now I believe that I canmake a future in this country
(29:41):
because you just say somethingthat actually impact me, which
is you don't know English.
And I don't know English rightnow.
I just got here with myparents.
I've been in this school sixmonths and try my hard to learn
it.
But you just basically told meyou can make it, and and I'm
gonna promise you that I'm gonnabe the best.
Can't remember what he told meI was gonna.
Gonna be, but all those thingsactually make me feel like,
(30:03):
okay, I have a mission.
Yeah, so I can do this.
You know, so that's why I Iwanted to become the
motivational speaker.
Because if I can transfer thismessage to writing, I can only
imagine somebody listening to mebecause reading the book, you
know, say, well, he probablyused uh Google Translate to do
(30:24):
the book, you know.
But how about he listened tome?
Not just that I can tell youthat I can prove that I look
where I came from, you know,look how far I come, but also
you can hear me, you can talk tome, you can actually touch me.
Genevieve (30:36):
Right.
Jose (30:36):
Because I'm not a celebrity that actually came,
like Arnold Schwarzenegger, youknow, from Austria, came and
become the biggest megastar thatactually am is me.
You can have somebody whoactually can associate, you can
simulate.
And that's why I wanted to todo those those type of of
motivational speaking, to givehopes to the people that
(30:56):
actually that nobody actuallycan tell it, yeah, you know
what?
You can make it too.
Genevieve (31:02):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And I love that too.
I mean, that was another reasonwhy I wanted to bring some
stories, is because we don't getto hear from just the ordinary,
everyday people.
A lot of times you hear fromthe celebrities, and you get the
a lot of the young people thatstart to be inspired or
influenced by those that arealready famous.
But what about the ones thatliving the everyday life?
(31:24):
You know, they want to hearfrom those too.
So absolutely.
Oh, absolutely.
I love that.
Absolutely.
Well, I'm gonna start getting alittle bit deeper into your
hidden chapters.
Oh boy.
And I'd love to talk about youserving in the army and reaching
that rank of sergeant major.
Already being from a differentculture and background, coming
(31:45):
to the United States and thenbeing in the US Army.
What's a hidden chapter of thatmilitary climb that that people
people would never guess fromthe outside?
Jose (31:55):
Well, the ranking itself is very powerful, and a lot of
people think that you know, oneis you when we get to the top,
we have superpowers or anythinglike that.
Um, and also sometimes webelieve that um we can resolve
everything like magic.
We're humans like anybody else,you know.
(32:17):
Um there is sort thesuperpowers could be, for
example, that you know, we canresolve a complex work issue or
personal issue, and you thinkthat this person can make magic.
Yeah, it's not we've mademagic.
It's basically we haveexperience um uh more than the
(32:38):
anybody else.
Um, however, uh I would say ona personal note that originally
ranked some me or something, Ididn't expect it.
Uh, because I always believethat my peers or my my higher up
were smarter than me.
And I'm not saying they're notsmarter than me.
Obviously, everybody's smarterthan me.
But um it's just that I thinkwe have something in common.
(33:02):
It's basically we are verycompetitive.
Genevieve (33:04):
Yeah.
Jose (33:04):
Um, we always get the mentorship required to get all
the way to South Mayor.
Once you get to Sam Mayor,basically you're on your own, in
my opinion.
It's like a reason you become apolitician, then basically now
you're fighting to become thebest politician ever, even
though you had to tackle yourcompetition, your peers.
Genevieve (33:23):
Right.
Jose (33:24):
Some of them are not your friends, some of them are
basically trying to competeagainst you to win popularity.
Not everybody's like that, butthe majority is like that.
So to me, it's a very painfulum lesson that I have.
When I went to Samush Academy,I thought everybody's gonna
embrace me because we areequally, we are sergeant's
(33:46):
majors, we reached a higher paygrade and enlisted in the army.
But not always, it's not alwayslike that.
Um, and that's the lesson thatI learned.
You know, our thoughts aregonna be, you know, are we gonna
be impact, like a, you know, apack of wolves that defend each
other, help each other out.
No, it's not.
(34:06):
It's not.
Um, that is something that Iactually took it personally.
But at the same time, that'ssomething that people don't see
um behind the scenes.
Not everybody's like that, butto me, it was a very painful
lesson.
Uh I got I was disappointed,I'm not gonna lie.
I was a little upset that whythese people believe that
(34:27):
they're about me.
Eventually this adventure isgonna end.
Yeah, you know, a lot of peopledon't think like that.
Uh but one thing that actuallyhelped me out to keep my feet on
the ground and not get you knowget brainwashed by becoming one
of them is that, you know, hey,if I didn't make it, I would be
happy because look how far Ihave become.
Genevieve (34:48):
Right.
Jose (34:49):
But if I made it, it has to be for a reason.
And I remember that, okay, sothis thing's gonna end.
Once I take my uniform off, therank is stayed, but the person
remain.
So that's one thing thatactually helped me out to
navigate that challenge.
Um, that's a lot of peopledon't see that.
Genevieve (35:07):
Right.
Jose (35:07):
Because we're well hidden, you know, but behind the doors,
we're not as tight as we thinkwe are.
Genevieve (35:14):
Yeah.
So and to kind of reinforcewhat you were saying about that,
I I had put a little bit in mynotes where in your book, um,
for anybody that wants to findthat on page 457, I wrote down
that quote because you said, ifyou want to succeed in
connecting with other sergeantmajors, you need to have a
position or something that theycan benefit from.
It's not about friendship andcamaraderie with most of them.
(35:37):
It's only business and tryingto get to the next higher
position.
And I thought it wasinteresting the way you
described it as the big club.
Jose (35:45):
The big club, exactly.
I mean the big club, it's justlike everywhere in the war, you
whether you're in a corporatewar, we're in the politics,
there's always gonna havesomebody to help you out, to
pull you.
They pick and choose who theywant to help.
Genevieve (35:58):
Right.
Jose (35:59):
Um, I was not one of them.
I'm no mad about them, uh nobetter that is basically you
gotta remember at one point theCEO position, the Sign Mayo
position, the Congress positionis gonna end.
Genevieve (36:13):
Yes.
Jose (36:14):
And then what?
Right.
That's that's the only thing Ican consider that you know I'm
happy where I am because at thispoint in my life I'm very
successful.
I achieve a lot of things.
I didn't achieve a lot ofthings, but you know, I'm happy
with the way things turn out.
And I don't have no guiltyanything that I did.
So that's the main part.
(36:35):
I'm in peace with myself afterthe uniform, and that's all.
And I'm very happy with my liferight now.
Genevieve (36:41):
That's so good to hear.
Yeah, and you want to end itthat way too, your career.
Yeah, so I want to go and askyou real quick about those
particular times.
It's good to look back on someof those, but you mentioned
moments of defeat, feelingdemoralized and even sad for
many years.
So you said you reached out forcounseling.
(37:02):
What were some of the thingsthat your counselor gave you as
tools then that have maybehelped you now that you've
transitioned out of themilitary?
Jose (37:12):
Yeah.
Um the main thing that actuallyit is one of my advisors, is
not to hold uh grudges withanybody.
Um things happen for thereason, you know, and it's hard
to swallow.
And even though I'm ahypocritical dad, because I
(37:33):
advise my kids, hey, it's okay.
It's okay.
You know.
Um but if if we're talkingabout the feeling demoralized
and sad, there's two parts thatI would like to clarify about
the question, if I understand itcorrectly, the question right.
Yeah, one is my sad moment, thepress moment, is because I
(37:54):
expected the people to help meout the same way I helped them
out.
Genevieve (37:59):
Yeah.
Jose (37:59):
You know, sometimes it doesn't happen.
You know, sometimes you have todetermine those people are more
they're looking for out,they're looking out for the own
future, they're looking out forthe best of interest.
So you might be in the bestinterest to help you, but
sometimes it's not your time, orsometimes people are so excited
to help you, but they don'tconsider oh man, I make a
(38:21):
promise that I should have made.
So that really it that reallymakes me mad because um because
I expect the people to, youknow, if you promise you're
gonna bring me lunch tomorrowand you didn't, so why?
I mean, what did I do to you inorder to do that?
I was counting on you.
Genevieve (38:38):
Yeah.
Jose (38:39):
Whenever I make a promise, I break my back to make sure I
don't break it.
That's the difference.
But the part that you'retalking about, you know, like
you mentioned about living themilitary.
There is one person, he's noteven a psychologist.
Uh is uh one of my former uh uhinstructors at this Army's
(39:00):
Academy.
And every time I asked me thesame question, I always say his
name, Command Sammy RetiredJamie Hacinski.
He told me something thatactually was the basic of how
I'm gonna manage my life in themilitary.
He said, Ray, you need to findsomething that actually fulfills
your emptiness when you leave.
(39:22):
Because when you leave themilitary, you're gonna, whether
you like it or not, you're gonnafeel empty.
No more coffee breaks, no morecamaraderie with your soldiers,
no more PT together.
It's over.
If it was because he told methat, I probably put it God in
my head right now, probablydrinking a lot of alcohol
because it's depressing oncepeople, you know, leave.
(39:45):
Once you mele the military,there's no more camaraderie.
It's true.
That's true.
You know, um, yeah, you you youmeet with people for once in a
while, but you know, but a lotof people don't want to get out
of the house because once youleave the uniform, you feel
useless because you don't haveno mission to go, you don't have
no meetings to go.
So Jamie, well, actually, I owehim a lot because then I get
(40:09):
emotional again.
If it wasn't because of Jamie,I'd probably be, you know, maybe
in I don't know, somewhere.
Um very, you know, I hadgrandkids now, I still enjoy
him, but you know, if I don't ifI don't take care of that, I
cannot take care of my grandkid.
So thanks to Jamie, uh, I wasable to find the something that
(40:33):
actually fulfilled the emptinesson time before reach the my
transition to the military.
So if Jamie ever read thischapter, I really appreciate him
because he saved my life.
Genevieve (40:46):
Shout out to Jamie.
Oh boy.
Well, I appreciate you sayingthat because I know that that is
a struggle that a lot ofsoldiers that I hear from a lot
of times coming out of themilitary.
That transition is hard.
A lot of people have reallyloved that lifestyle and have
gotten used to that lifestyle ofbeing military, and then when
you get out, it's a very bigtransition.
(41:09):
So you mentioned one of yourbiggest regrets was struggling
to balance your personal lifewith your military career.
And so then later on, you hadlearned to prioritize family.
So I appreciate that uh you hadmentioned you managed to
maintain a friendship with yourformer spouse and were committed
to making amends with yourchildren after all of that.
(41:31):
So retirement has reallybrought a shift for you.
Can you talk about how thatjourney has been for you as
you've taken those small stepstoward making amends?
Jose (41:41):
Well, you know, uh the peace in my two exes is is it
was it was way before themilitary was over.
Um I'm never gonna pay my kidsthe time that I miss with them.
That's that's a guilty partthat I was gonna live.
Um but then and I think now I Itransitioned out of the
military.
(42:02):
Um I I focus more into my kids,even though they're already
adults.
You know, I once a week I videochat with my grandkids.
Um I ask my my son and mydaughter every every today's has
everything going, haseverything going, has everything
going?
Um and funny, I tell a funnystory.
Uh that when I when I was aboutto retire, my kids were excited
(42:24):
and I was surprised.
They asked me, so dad, what yougonna do about it?
And I said, Well, I was lookingat some designs and here, you
know, how my hair would look,maybe if I painted yellow, red.
They look at me like I hadthree eyes, like, what are you
talking about?
I said, you know, it's time forme to become rebellious, dad,
you know, maybe make my firsttattoo in the arms.
(42:45):
So, so a year after, actually,it was last year, I think it was
during a a moment that we gottogether.
Uh, my son and my daughter saidoh dad, so how's the design for
your tattoo coming along?
We we can pull it out right nowand make you help you out.
You know, we have tattoo shopright here.
Like, wait, wait, wait, comeon.
(43:05):
I changed my mind.
It was a moment what we missedthat I was happy that I was
actually spending more time withyou guys, but no, I write to
stay like that.
So it was a story about um uhyou know, that made me feel good
that my kids now understandthat you know my time in the
military, yes, it was hard.
I missed a lot of birthdays, alot of uh moments with them, but
(43:28):
I sacrificed myself to giving agood future, which now they
both enjoy.
Uh so at the end of the day,they understood my my daughter
now is married to an erman, soshe now is walking to the path
of being a uh espouse, militaryspouse, and she now understands
with a full picture what waslike with dad was deployed or
(43:53):
when we PCA, so how hot it is.
So now it helped they helped mereconnect even more with my
kids, which is what I'm reallylooking for.
And I'm I'm very happy the wayit turned out, uh, even after
the years of of being themilitary.
Uh, you know, connection withmy spouses, um, always been like
that because I know as a humanbeing will make mistakes, but it
(44:17):
does not mean that we're gonnafile like a tax and cats and
dogs.
We put our differences to thesize, and you know, the let's
let's let's weigh the whiteflag, please.
Yeah, the white flag, and soyeah.
Genevieve (44:31):
So uh just as a side question, uh have your children
or your ex-spouses been able toread your book?
And if they have, what has beensome of their reactions?
Jose (44:42):
Oh, I know I shouldn't say nothing about that.
Well, you know what?
Uh I'll be honest with you.
So, first of all, um I askedpermission to both of them.
And I said, Look, I want to askyou this.
You know, and if you're okaynot to mention anything, that's
fine.
Uh, one of my rules uh when Italk with Brunel about the books
(45:06):
is I don't want to mention thenames.
Uh, one is because I want toprotect the privacy.
Yes, everybody knows who I wasmarried for, but 99% of people
don't know because my my lifehas to be very private.
So I didn't want to include thenames, but I want to include
the situation that makes mebreak my marriage.
(45:26):
So after I had a conversationwith both of them, I said, Yeah,
go ahead.
So my ex-pouse number two wasthe first one who bought the
book.
The first book that I ever saw,he bought it.
And she sent me a picture.
I said, Look what I got.
I said, Oh Lord Jesus havemercy.
And I thought she's gonna justtell me after I read, you are
(45:48):
no.
So she sent me a text message,and she said, You know what?
I don't know you.
But after I read what you'vebeen through, I'm so sorry that
our marriage didn't work out andI didn't understand you.
(46:09):
That was a lot.
That was just a sentence thatshe texted me that she said, you
know what?
But I didn't appreciate thatyou only dedicate me half a
book, half a page.
But but the simple fact thatshe I thought she's gonna be mad
(46:30):
at me because of what I said.
No, she was she she actuallyshe she feels bad because she
thought she knew me.
Yeah, and again, you know, it'sa lot of things I didn't say,
and a lot of things she knewabout me, but not to the deep
understanding the book.
My spouse number one, I don'tknow if I read the book, but to
(46:50):
this point we're still talking,so I'm assuming she read it and
she's okay with it.
So yeah, but wife number two,she's uh she actually just uh
and that was the one that I wasafraid, most afraid because that
wasn't the most drawn that Ihave.
Uh but no, uh she actually shenow she wants another copy
because I'm working on theSpanish version.
(47:10):
Oh so she was now a copy ofthis second book, and she has
promote a book with uh herclassmates on high school
because she had a high schoolreunion not too long ago, and
which some of them are friendswith mine, so I'm working hard
to get that Spanish version upand running that way I can buy
them.
So that's funny, and the onlything she was mad about is you
(47:31):
only gave her a page, exactly,exactly, and she said publicly
we have a group, a groupchatting on WhatsApp with our
high school people that say,Well, I don't appreciate he only
gave me half a page.
Genevieve (47:44):
Half a page, not a half a page, okay.
Jose (47:46):
Well, but I appreciate her comments and I appreciate her
friendship, you know.
Things that work out, but it iswhat it is.
Genevieve (47:55):
Yeah, but it is nice, I think, to be able to have
that conversation even afterthat once she read it, that
there were things that she evenrealized that maybe that didn't
get communicated then, but nowgets communicated that I never
knew.
I didn't know this about you.
And that kind of happened withum my reading of Chris's book
when he was going through theprocess and it was slowly coming
(48:18):
into the manuscript formed, andBrunel and him were editing it.
He had told me all this time,he says, It's just on the
computer.
You're welcome to read it.
And my mentality at the timewas, I'm not reading that.
I've lived it with you.
I mean, honestly, it's like Idon't need to read it.
I've been through all of thiswith you, I know all the
stories.
But it was right around um thefinal edits with him and
(48:40):
Brunella that I said, I gottaget over myself.
I'm gonna read this.
And so he gave it to me.
I downloaded on my phone and Iworked through the chapters
nightly.
So we would go to bed, he wouldgo to sleep, and I would
actually sit up with my phoneand read it in the dark.
And so I was running throughchapters, I was going through a
couple of different things I'veknown about uh his history with
(49:02):
infantry and then some of thestruggles.
But it was towards the end thatwe had differences of opinions
on certain things that it tookme a moment.
And I expressed this later tohim.
I said, I I was mad originallybecause of just what my
perspective.
And we didn't necessarily talkabout that.
So when I finished the book, weactually had to have a really
(49:25):
hard discussion because I waslike, I don't like this, I don't
like this at all.
And um, and and then I rememberhim saying, 'Cause were you mad
because you didn't get morerecognition than this?
And I said, No, no, that's notit at all.
I said, I'm just mad because ofthe way that this was your
perspective and this was myperspective.
And so it was we laugh about itnow, of course, but it it had
(49:46):
to open up the communicationbecause we just didn't talk
about that.
So yeah, I like that you saidthat because it's true, you
know, when you start puttingthese things on paper and then
somebody reads them, you have noidea what the reaction is.
But then sometimes when youfinally have that open
communication, some good thingscan come out of it where they
go.
I never knew.
(50:06):
Well, I'm gonna go ahead andstart wrapping this up.
I just want to ask you a couplequestions about the what's next
chapters.
So you said you had consideredactually writing another book to
discuss your life outside ofthe uniform.
So tell me a little bit abouthow retirement life is going for
(50:27):
you.
And is it meeting some of yourgoals or expectations that you
thought, especially after 30years of being military?
And then what would your nextbook be?
So kind of a loaded question.
Jose (50:38):
That's okay.
I can wrap it up.
Um, how is my life as aretirement?
Good.
Um, I can complain.
Genevieve (50:44):
Yeah.
Jose (50:45):
Um, but it took me three years to be where I am right
now.
I I'm reaching my my third yearof retirement.
The first year wasexpectations, you know, dreams.
You know, I want to becomemotivation speaker, you want to
become this, you want to becomethat.
Uh, and again, you know, I Iwas hoping that a lot of my
peers uh would help me out tonavigate to the challenge to be
(51:08):
retiring and still um doingsomething to mitigate the
emptiness that I was gonna feelafter leaving uniform, but none
of that happened.
The second year I had torealize okay, I had to do
something because you know Ilike to talk, I like to give
motivational speaking.
Um, in my social media page, Iput a lot of uh his historical
(51:31):
stuff with a touch of a messageof optimism and hope.
But I also like to fix cars.
Uh uh that's another story, along story.
And I was in Germany, and uh inGermany I have an oil leak that
eventually turned me into aphenomenal mechanic, uh Jimmy
(51:51):
Tasker.
Uh he was the manager of theNWR uh auto skills in Pulaski,
Germany.
And he actually made me fall inlove with being a mechanic,
which is what I do now.
Um so eventually the book waspart of my goals, which I did.
Um, and eventually, I like Imentioned previously, I'm
(52:14):
working on the Spanish version.
But now Brunella brought mesomething on the mind that said,
well, the next book should talkabout leadership.
And I said, I don't think so.
You know, there's many books ofleadership out there that I
don't think they're gonna fit.
So I'm gonna be the onerebellious guy who always goes
what nobody else does.
So I'm planning to do somethingabout the true hitting moments
(52:37):
where you know nobody sees asoldier without a uniform once
you retire.
Um, I was thinking about, youknow, okay, so how am I gonna
name it?
Because out of the blooming, Ithink I was having dinner with
my with my grandkid, and uh um Idon't know what happened, and
then my daughter said something,and I said, No, he's not crazy,
he just me.
(52:58):
I passed my DNA to him.
Um and I said, Oh, you knowwhat?
That's a good title.
You're not crazy, it's in yourDNA.
And what I mean by that is alot of veterans uh start opening
up more now, once in themilitary, and they're always
wondering, you know, um, if thisis really me or I'm in sick.
(53:21):
No, you're not sick.
You're not crazy.
It's just in your DNA, ithappens to you.
You have to understand it inorder to learn how to live it.
And once you understand it andaccept it, you'll be able to
manage and feel morecompassionate about you, you
feel more resilient for you.
You know, so that's my focus.
(53:41):
Hopefully, it becomes areality.
It won't be as extended at thispoint, it's very probably a
small version.
Uh people, people for people beeasy to understand and read it.
So we'll see what happened.
You know, we'll see whathappened um after that.
So more to follow.
Genevieve (53:58):
I love that because too, we've had more Chris and I
actually our season two will airand it will be his take on a
lot of things from his militarycareer and going a little deeper
into his book and the mentalstruggles.
And we talk about thetransition as being the hardest
thing we both have had to do,both as the service member and
(54:21):
the spouse.
Because my own transition,after spending all of those
years being his support in themilitary, I have my own traumas,
I have my own experiences.
And same with him as he'stransition transitioned out,
because we're also in our thirdyear post-retirement, that we uh
are still trying to figurethings out, we're still trying
to navigate what that lookslike, what that feels like, what
(54:44):
do we do, you know?
And then um this new journey toshare these stories, I believe,
was is the next step becausethere are so many veterans out
there that need to hear more andmore veterans that I think
would benefit from opening up.
So yeah, those are definitelyneeded.
So well, Jose, I want to endthis with telling you thank you
(55:08):
so much.
Especially y'all need to knowthat Jose and I are in two
different uh continents and twouh two different time zones.
He's in Barcelona and I'm inHuntsville, Alabama.
So, Jose, I want to say thankyou so much for meeting me and
sharing your story.
And I'm so grateful to Brunellafor recommending my podcast
because I thought your story wasjust incredible and definitely
(55:30):
a fit for hidden chapters.
Jose (55:32):
So I appreciate the opportunity.
Um, thank you.
Um, like I told Brunella, youknow, people cross paths uh with
me.
Uh as you know, that's that'sthe rule of life, I guess.
People cross paths with you fora reason.
And I hope that um this is thebeginning of a wonderful uh
relationship with you as well.
(55:53):
Um looking forward to read yourhusband's book as well, um, and
also uh to learn somethingabout his journey as well.
So, but I appreciate theopportunity.
Um I for those people whoprobably don't see, but I did my
hair, uh Shay, I have a bestjacket to put on.
So, you know, just you have tojust figure it out and and and
(56:14):
and imagine that I was there.
Genevieve (56:17):
Yeah.
Jose (56:18):
And you know, I'm not six foot tall like people think of
because of my voice.
I'm only a 61 inches tall guy.
So, but thank you, appreciateyou for the opportunity.
I really have a good time doingthe interview.
Genevieve (56:29):
Me too.
Well, thank you, Jose.
I can't wait to hear the impactJose makes with future podcast
appearances and beyond.
I'm hoping his story continuesto reach more readers and
listeners.
Be sure to check out the linksin the show notes where you can
purchase Jose's book.
And if you'd like to contactJose, those links to his
(56:50):
Facebook page and email are inthe show notes.
Be sure to follow HiddenChapters on Substack.
That's where we also stayconnected between episodes.
The most powerful stories arethe ones we don't see.
May your hidden chapters bringlight to someone else's journey.
Thanks for listening to HiddenChapters.
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