September 19, 2025 • 47 mins
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Who we are isn’t something we figure out once, it’s something we keep discovering.
In this episode, Laura Lyn Donahue joins me to talk about identity, growth, and what it really means to evolve through life’s changing seasons. Drawing from her book, Who Do You Think You Are?, Laura Lyn shares how our sense of self shifts with experience, how to embrace uncertainty instead of fearing it, and why change can be one of our greatest teachers.
Takeaways from our conversation:
- Every moment offers an opportunity for growth.
- The role of an author requires embracing one's authentic self.
- Conversations with loved ones can reveal hidden truths.
- People-pleasing can hinder personal identity and self-worth.
- Recognizing disordered eating is crucial for self-acceptance.
- Self-care goes beyond superficial activities; it's about inner peace.
- Writing can be a therapeutic process, revealing deeper emotions.
- Family dynamics play a significant role in personal narratives.
- The journey of self-discovery is ongoing and evolving.
- It's important to advocate for oneself in personal and professional settings.
All the links and ways to connect with Laura Lyn:
📧 Email: author@itslauralyn.com
🔗 IG: @itslauralyn_author
🔗 FB: itslauralyn_author
📬 Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/lauralyndonahue
🔗 LinkedIn: Laura Lyn Donahue
📚 Purchase Laura Lyn's book (non-Amazon): https://books.by/w-brand-publishing#who-do-you-think-you-are
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Genevieve (00:00):
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(00:44):
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LauraLyn (00:55):
who am I?
Because every day, everymoment, we have an opportunity
for growth or not.
And if we're growing, thenwe're changing.
And if we're changing, then theanswer to the question, who do
you think you are, is going toevolve.
(01:16):
It should evolve.
That's part of growth.
There's been a lot of, youknow, just thinking about that
and question again who do youthink you are and what would the
second version of that book
Genevieve (01:34):
look like that was Laura Lynn Donahue writer editor
and poet whose debut memoir whodo you think you are explores
identity transformation and thepower of connection hey this is
Genevieve thanks so much fortaking a moment out of your busy
day to listen to a story ofself-discovery I'm You're
(01:55):
listening to Hidden Chapters,the place where we open up the
stories you don't usually hear,the ones tucked behind the
highlight reels and everydaysmiles.
In today's conversation, we'regoing to get to hear from Laura
Lynn as she talks about theunexpected things after her book
launched, dig into some ofthose hidden chapters between
(02:15):
the book chapters, and what'spotentially next for her.
Maybe another book in thefuture?
Laura Lynn is a Nashvillenative who grew up surrounded by
Southern hospitality and nowdelights in creating space for
others to share their gifts andstories.
She's a mom to five, lives inColumbia, Tennessee with her
husband, Don, and finds joy insending snail mail, walking her
(02:40):
dog, practicing yoga, andunwinding on her porch swing.
Today, we're turning the pageto discover the hidden chapters
behind her book.
So let's turn the page andbegin.
So Laura Lynn and I wereintroduced through her and
Chris's book publisher, JulieBrand.
Julie recommended Laura Lynn tomy podcast because her book
(03:00):
aligned perfectly with the heartand mission behind Hidden
Chapters.
I picked up Laura Lynn's bookand enjoyed reading it over the
summer in between some beachtime.
So thank you, Laura Lynn, forbeing my guest today and taking
time out of your week to shareyour story with me.
LauraLyn (03:14):
Absolutely.
Thanks for having me.
Genevieve (03:16):
Of course.
While I read your book, as yourwords resonated or I had
similar experiences, I took noteof the page numbers and a few
sentences as I read along.
I found we had a lot of commonexperiences, which I thought
would be fun to share andmention a in your book, you
studied abroad to Europe incollege.
I did too.
(03:37):
I went to London and spent asemester and enjoyed country
hopping.
So I loved reading that.
LauraLyn (03:45):
Boy, that was a long time ago, but wasn't it fun?
Yes.
Genevieve (03:48):
I have to dust my passport off soon so I can go
again and explore places, thistime with more money.
Right.
Yes.
Another one I reallyappreciated was that you shared
with Vulnerability your strugglewith people pleasing and
performing.
And that's actually somestruggles I've had growing up as
(04:08):
well.
So I really liked that I wasable to connect and share that
we're not alone in those.
LauraLyn (04:16):
Yeah.
I think probably there are morepeople just like us out there.
Genevieve (04:20):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And then a fun one.
I found out that I share abirthday with your husband,
Dawn.
Yes.
May 10th.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
So May 10th was the day that Ialso learned I
LauraLyn (04:39):
just
Genevieve (04:51):
wanted to start with asking you that first question
about your book.
Who do you think you are?
So what was something youdidn't expect would happen after
it released?
LauraLyn (05:03):
One thing that I did not expect, or I don't even know
if it's the right framework tosay didn't expect it, but I
didn't know who I was as anauthor.
So it's, you know, I've writtenthis book, Who Do You Think You
Are?
But yet I have not filled therole of author yet.
(05:26):
And what does she say?
What does she, how does sheinteract with people?
How does she talk to people?
does she talk about her book soI mean I guess somewhere in the
back of my head I knew that wasgoing to be required of me but
I just didn't I didn't knowuntil I went with my publishing
(05:48):
company to the Tucson Festivalof Books and there were 12 of us
authors there from W Brand andso I had a support system but
that was my first like forayinto okay you're an author and
here's your book and peoplemight stop by and ask you
questions.
Right.
(06:09):
So what I didn't expect oranticipate really was how I was
going to translate myself intoan authentic person who has
written a book and who cancommunicate with someone who
might be interested in readingit.
Just, I mean, I had one personask me, well, you know, boil
(06:34):
your book down into twosentences and I was like oh dear
I don't know and I gave twosentences don't ask me for them
right now I know it's hard youknow give me your elevator pitch
I'm like wait I can't off thecuff so but I managed to do it
and she bought a book so
Genevieve (06:55):
oh good yeah it's almost like really embracing
that new role I'm author so youhave to really kind of wrap your
head around
LauraLyn (07:04):
I'm an author well and you're you are representing
your authentic self you are notrepresenting like a mother
representing her children or awife representing her husband or
what or whatever it may be youare this is just like all
encompassing me and I rememberthinking I am really excited to
(07:29):
get to know her and so I left umfor that book festival with a
lot of a lot of joy some nervesfor sure but it was yeah it was
an experience I didn't know whatit would be like but it was a
good one
Genevieve (07:45):
oh good that's good to hear yeah so is there been a
story or a conversation that hascome after the book was
released where someone sharedwith you something that
surprised you or took pause
LauraLyn (08:00):
yeah as a matter of fact I have I reference her in
my book but my cousin she and Iare just about four months apart
and we grew up a couple milesdown the road from each other
and we did so many thingstogether just so much so that we
(08:20):
called ourselves twins you knowwe try to I don't know trick
people into thinking we're twinsbut so I call her my twin
cousin and someone in my lifewho has known me intimately as a
friend, as a relative, just,you know, ingrained in our lives
(08:43):
together.
She called me after she hadread the book and she said, I
just never really thought aboutall of the legalism that you
lived under.
And of course, I go into detailabout that in the book, but it
started to kind of unravel forme just really what I was living
(09:07):
under and it wasn't it wasn'tthat it was bad necessarily
because there were certainlysome beautiful things that came
of being in a community ofreligious people and but the
legalism because I am a pleaserbecause I am the do the right
(09:28):
thing girl or was maybe I'm notso much now I don't know um i
the rules i just played by therules so to speak you know and
you know one of thoseunfortunately was my religious
group where we were the onlyones going to heaven and i
(09:51):
imposed that on my cousin mimimy twin cousin and it never
really felt right and i couldn'treally understand Why?
You know, it was just agrappling of this doesn't make
sense because there's love here.
But she didn't really knowwhere I was coming from as far
(10:17):
as the doctrine that I had beeningrained in and how I used that
doctrine to really navigate allthe facets of my life and put
them under the guise of this isis what you have to do this is
how you are supposed to act andit took away some of my
(10:38):
spontaneity Mimi said you wereso crazy as a little girl and
you know fun and outgoing andbut I was a risk taker and I
kind of forgot that so for herto bring that to light really
gave me pause to think moreabout I just keep going back to
(11:00):
the word legalism because that'sjust you know what it is when
you're trapped in legalismsometimes it's just really hard
to see it because it's become soingrained in you and the people
that you're around that itfeels normal
Genevieve (11:17):
right
LauraLyn (11:17):
and
Genevieve (11:18):
she kind of pointed something out of what you were
quite aware of yeah
LauraLyn (11:21):
and I really appreciated that a lot and
wasn't expecting it but itsparked a really really healthy
good conversation for us
Genevieve (11:30):
yeah that's good yeah and you always want those those
Absolutely.
Yes.
It was.
Yeah.
Well,
LauraLyn (12:08):
that's a lifelong process.
And I think I have always beentrying to answer that question.
How do I get out from under thepleasing?
Because the pleasing is where Ifound respect from other
(12:29):
people.
I found affirmation from otherpeople.
And I was really associatingthose things with people
pleasing.
So if this, then this.
So if I am pleasing to otherpeople, then I will get this
from them.
I will get respect.
(12:50):
I will get love.
I will get some type ofaffirmation that wasn't really
lacking in my life, but my DNAjust gravitated to it.
toward people pleasing.
And that was, you know, thatquote worked for me.
And so even now, trying to comeout from under it, I mean, of
(13:14):
course, it's taken years oftherapy and just some other
realizations about myself torealize that it's not so
important about to be pleasingothers.
Finding myself and self-care,if you will, is the most
important thing because if wearen't being our authentic
(13:37):
selves if we aren't being trueto who we are then we're really
missing out on something prettygood you know it gets pushed
under the rug it gets suppressedand it takes a lot of mental
energy a lot of work to walkinto a situation and think okay
(13:58):
so this is the person I have tobe at this event or at this
party or at this book club orwhatever, you know, it is.
I'm changing based on my,quote, audience.
So coming out from under that,you know, I am 56.
(14:18):
So it's only really beenrecently that I'm exercising
that muscle even more than Iwas.
I mean, there's therecognition, right?
So you've got to see it, thatit's happening, that you're
doing But then the coming outfrom under it, I don't know that
(14:39):
you can get it completely outfrom under it, but you can begin
to recognize when you're doingit.
And I'll just give you anexample.
Recently, I was offered a jobpromotion.
I work for a yoga studio.
So going from receptionist tomanager, there were a list of
things.
I mean, a long list of thingsfor, you know, would be my new
(15:02):
job.
responsibilities.
And I looked at that list and Ithought, well, I can do all of
these.
I can do every single one, butI don't want to.
And so I advocated for myself.
I said, I would love to takethis position, but I don't want
(15:23):
to take that drive time that Ineed, you know, that's offered
here.
That is not part of who I wantto be continuing.
I don't I don't want to be theperson who says, yeah, I can do
all of this and then start doingit and become just encumbered
with too much responsibilitybecause that's not the only job
(15:44):
I have.
Right.
move that barrier out of theway at the beginning, rather
(16:08):
than holding on to, oh, now Ihave to make that drive today.
I have to do that drive everyday or every Wednesday.
And why didn't I speak up formyself?
Because I knew when I read it,that's not something I want to
do.
That's not, you know, 15 minutedrive, fine.
50 minute drive in traffic.
(16:29):
No, thank you.
Genevieve (16:30):
Right.
Yeah.
And I growing up my dad wasmilitary so we moved a lot of
different places and I basicallyhad trained myself to be a
chameleon to change my look thedress the attitude to fit in
because I didn't want to bealone yeah and then I think over
the years I've even gotten usedto just going with what
(16:51):
everybody says to make everybodyhappy at the expense of myself
now I'm burning myself outbecause I am doing all the
things I'm not telling anybodyno yeah and even in my mid 40s
Well, I address this in my book.
LauraLyn (17:32):
book and it has to do with an eating disorder and
it's hard to talk about becauseit's more like no you didn't
really have an eating disordernobody saw that if people didn't
(17:54):
notice that about you then it'snot real so coming out now and
saying well looking back Right.
And if you're a people pleaser,even if that means pleasing
(18:35):
yourself by abiding by rules,then behavior like eating
restrictions can just become aguideline and become ingrained
in you just like your otherrules.
And as I was writing my book, Iwas also in menopause.
(18:56):
And so I was experiencingweight gain that I had not
experienced before.
I was experiencing self-doubtbecause of that.
I was losing some of my notself-respect as much as maybe
worth.
I just felt like my self-worthwas lowering.
(19:19):
And this is based on a size.
And having to come to termswith the fact that I'm meeting
you and you're not basing ourdiscussion on what my size is
you know it's oh it's just it'sa lot of work to come out from
(19:40):
under and I just had to stopwriting because I had to I just
needed to go and deal with thatwith my psychiatrist I did a
group nutrition program withother women I had a nutritionist
I had to at least recognizewhat was going on with my body,
(20:06):
with my mind, with how I wastrying to control myself,
understand where that came from,why I was dealing with it, and
how do I kind of get out fromunder it?
What are the tools forreleasing myself?
Not realizing that part of myacting out was just was binging
(20:32):
and purging.
I wasn't throwing up, but I wasexercising.
So I would exercise to eat.
So I could do, you know, but ifI ate too much, then back to the
exercise.
And that's just another form ofbinging and purging.
Genevieve (20:48):
Yeah.
And I remember you said you hadfrom your book, that was
something that stemmed in your,was it teenage years?
LauraLyn (20:55):
Yes.
Yes.
It stemmed in my teenage years,maybe even tweens.
Um, Um, but it wasn't somethingthat I, I didn't set out to
lose weight.
I didn't set out to, uh, itjust came upon me when one of my
(21:16):
friends said, let's try out fortrack.
Let's be on the track team sothat we can stay in shape and
eat.
And I, I don't think I'd everthought about it that way
before.
I was just a naturally activechild.
Like most of us are, um, And Imean, you know, playing outside
(21:36):
with my brothers or playingkickball or school, you know,
kind of activities.
And so that's kind of where theframework began of, okay, so
put the exercise in there.
And then, okay, so maybe I'msupposed to be a certain size.
So how do I gauge the food andthe exercise?
(22:01):
Well, I gauge that by weight.
So, you know, weighing, tryingto stay at a certain weight,
being disappointed in myself ifI wasn't that weight, really, it
just became all encompassingjust for years and years and
never, ever in my life would Ithen would I have told you that
(22:24):
I had an eating disorder.
I
Genevieve (22:26):
would
LauraLyn (22:27):
know I would have said no, someone who has an
eating disorder is in thehospital, or is emaciated.
There are visible signs, butthere are a lot of signs that
aren't visible.
Genevieve (22:39):
Right.
LauraLyn (22:40):
That are unknown to the person who has disordered
eating or to the person who'slooking, you know, I mean, I was
getting affirmation.
Oh, you look so good.
You're, you know, in shape, youknow, what do you do?
How do you stay your size?
How do you, and I'm thinking,well, if you only knew all of
these things that I'm doing, butpeople would just say, oh,
(23:02):
well, That just must be how youare.
And I would think it's just, ittakes a lot of work.
Right.
And a lot of time and it stealsa lot of joy.
Genevieve (23:14):
Right.
When you mentioned it too, andyou said you had to really
pause, you were writing in themiddle of writing your book.
Right.
And right when you said youwere starting to talk about
that, you said you had to pauseand take a break.
What did that struggle looklike?
during that time?
Because that's
LauraLyn (23:38):
a big project to put a pause on, right?
and take a pause and say okay Idon't think I can continue to
(24:09):
write my book authenticallywithout addressing this issue
because someone's going to needthe advice or someone's going to
need to be able to relate tosomebody else who has gone
through something similar butwhat did you do about it and so
(24:32):
yeah I There were other parts ofmy book that I could continue
to write.
But that one, it just really,really struck me.
And I thought the healthy thingto do was to deal with it.
Genevieve (24:46):
And I found that encouraging, too, that you
mentioned that you had to stopand pause because what it is
also encouraging is you'reimportant.
You need to take care ofyourself first before you can
take care of anybody else.
And that's even something moreI'm learning more and more as
I'm getting older I go I'vetaken care of a lot of people
but if I'm not taken care ofit's to my own detriment so I
(25:09):
think that's a great message tosend is sometimes you do need to
take a pause and really taketime for yourself it's just
truly important
LauraLyn (25:17):
it is truly important and it's not just a bath or
getting your nails done or selfcare is much deeper than that it
might even just be sittingstill and being quiet and giving
yourself space to do that.
Genevieve (25:35):
Absolutely.
I so agree with that.
In talking a little bit aboutyour writing as well, in this
journey and experience, did youever write something, then
delete it out of fear orprotection or maybe that
imperfect, that perfectionism?
LauraLyn (25:52):
Oh, no, never, never.
Everything was perfect from theget go.
Exactly.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
You know, sometimes uh you'llhear if you're really if you've
got a lot of anger regarding asituation that's happened
somebody might say well write itdown you know write about it
(26:14):
and so in a sense as i waswriting i was writing down the
version that was my angriestself first and then i would go
okay let's go back and look atthat i'm like man you were
really angry So yeah, so itwould sometimes take a few
(26:39):
drafts to get back to really themeat of what I wanted to say.
Yeah.
Let's deal with the emotionalpart of it.
That's very valid.
That's important.
But what, how is that going totranslate?
Let's translate to not how madyou were about it, but what you
did about it and what worked foryou or didn't work for you in
(27:02):
that circumstance and is whatyou've written meant to hurt
someone else do you want itthere to you know point a finger
at someone and that wasn't thegoal of my writing but it was
part of my writing it's part ofthe process so yeah so yeah
(27:23):
there was there were a lot ofdeletions
Genevieve (27:26):
well I'm finding that very neat not well neat is the
word I know there's probablyanother word for that but I'm
finding Finding it reallyinteresting, a lot of the author
friends that I'm getting thechance to speak to, everybody
talks about it like that.
There's this therapeuticjourney you go through, the
things that you're writing,especially when you're writing
your life.
There's things that rehash andopen up old wounds.
(27:48):
And imagine you have to workthrough those before you put
them on paper.
And like you said, I'm ajournaler myself.
So there's times I'm writing inanger.
And then I go back and I readit and I go, I needed that.
But this is definitely notsomething I want to share.
LauraLyn (28:02):
Right.
Right.
Right.
Nor should you.
Right.
That's why they're diaries.
That's why diaries used to havelocks on them.
Genevieve (28:10):
That's right.
I had a few of those.
I'd forget my key sometimes orlose my key.
But yeah.
Yeah.
That's so funny and true.
So now that the book isfinished and it's written, what
feels maybe unfinished?
LauraLyn (28:30):
Oh, let's see.
Unfinished.
Well, part of what's unfinishedis answering the question, who
do you think you are?
And in my opinion, you wereanswering that question on a
daily basis, on a weekly basis,in the summer and the spring.
(28:54):
We are, okay, well, who am I?
Because every day, everymoment, We have an opportunity
for growth or not.
And if we're growing, thenwe're changing.
And if we're changing, then theanswer to the question, who do
(29:15):
you think you are, is going toevolve.
It should evolve.
That's part of growth.
So there's been a lot of justthinking about that question
again.
Who do you think you are?
and what would the secondversion of that book look like?
(29:37):
I mean, it, you know, itwouldn't go back to the
beginning, but it, so theunfinished is sort of, as Paul
Harvey would say, the rest ofthe story.
You know, it just, what youdon't know the rest of the
story, so that remainsunfinished.
And then also, you know, cominginto some just the importance
(30:05):
of putting my work out there andletting people know about it
marketing yourself I mean that'snot a real easy thing for me to
do or want to do but how elsedo you get other people to know
that your story is there you'vegot to tell them so that
(30:27):
continues to be unfinished
Genevieve (30:29):
I imagine too you and I are very similar in that too
where you ask that question whodo you think you are that kind
of stirs up more questions nowthat you're marketing yourself
and you're having to get yourbook out there that sometimes
that I'm sure that can rattleyou a little going who do you
think you are right you can thetone of the question is
completely different I imagineso I imagine so it's
LauraLyn (30:53):
that not the gaslighting but what's the
popular phrase that you loseyour confidence and imposter the
imposter syndrome Yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
That raises its ugly head quiteoften.
Who do you think you are?
Right.
Changes the whole tone, startsto, yeah.
(31:13):
Yeah, yeah.
Genevieve (31:16):
That's so true.
Yeah.
Even doing what I'm doingsometimes, I go, who do you
think you are?
That's hard.
That's hard, you know.
Like you right now too, youknow, just putting myself out
there and, you know, I don'tparticularly want to be in the
spotlight.
Yeah.
LauraLyn (32:02):
Yeah.
with the book, handing it offto an editor, it was a little
(32:39):
bit, there was some, a littlenerve wracking.
But what I found is, is thisprocess was so valuable.
And maybe it also depends onthe editor that you have.
But I felt like my editor whodidn't know me, we'd never met
each other.
She understood the voice of mybook.
(32:59):
And she she was able to offersuggestions to the opportunity
to provide clarity you knowmaybe a paragraph that didn't
didn't fully have closure to itor didn't fully explain really
what you were trying to getacross and sometimes you don't
(33:22):
know that until someone elsereads it because it it makes
sense to you but as the writeryou've got to tell the whole
story so you've got to give allof the details down to the you
know sound in the air and thecolor of the rug or or whatever
that is so an editor I almostlooked forward to the edits a
(33:45):
little bit of trepidation butthen I would see the benefit of
it and think oh I've been givenanother chance yeah so this
doesn't go out incomplete nowthat's not to say the book
doesn't need some more work toit but it It's much better than
it would have been without aneditor.
(34:08):
And that part, you don't skip.
You don't skip it.
And I think it needs to be aneutral party and objective
person.
You might get a little bit ofthat from a relative or a
friend, but you're not going toget the full scope.
So that was, I don't even thinkit was humbling.
(34:31):
I think it was just, just feltright to me.
It just felt like the rightthing.
So it was good.
It was a good experience.
Yeah.
Ask me about it again, youknow, after the next book comes
out, whatever that is, and maybeI'll have a different story.
But I
Genevieve (34:47):
think that was going to be my next question that I
wanted to ask you is now thatyou have launched the book and
the books out there, what wouldbe next for you?
What are you feeling right nowin this after launch book?
LauraLyn (35:00):
Yeah, yeah.
So prior to releasing the book,the goal was to release a book
in my lifetime, right?
So you get the book out there.
It's published.
It feels good.
It feels like anaccomplishment.
And yes, now that the baby hasbeen birthed, if you will,
what's next?
Do you write another book?
(35:21):
Well, you did write a book.
That's great.
Maybe you could do another one.
So I am always asking myselfthis question.
What would your next next bookbe if you were to write one I
think about what will I writenext it feels like it's always a
burning question and I evaluateso I'll hear someone on a
(35:45):
podcast talk and I think okaywell could I write about that or
I have loads of poetry thatI've written all of my life
maybe it's a book of poetry Idon't know that that's very
marketable but I have it it'svaluable to me And I guess for
me, putting something out therein print is as much, if not the
(36:11):
only reason for posterity'ssake.
It is there for my family tolook back on, for my children.
And by the way, four of myadult children have read my
book.
Genevieve (36:24):
Oh, that's a good question I can ask you about is
their reaction.
Yeah.
We'll do that one.
Yeah.
LauraLyn (36:29):
Yeah.
Okay.
So I guess the answer to thequestion, what's next or what's
the next book is, I don't knowyet.
But I do feel, I feel myselfthinking about it a lot and I
don't know exactly what thatmeans or what it looks like, but
(36:50):
it's, we shall see.
I
Genevieve (36:54):
want to talk about your children's reactions to the
book.
Now, did they read it before?
Did they get a manuscriptbefore or did they get to read
it?
So
LauraLyn (37:05):
the kids were given, when I was writing, I gave them
a manuscript, but my childrendid not read it.
And that's fine.
It was, it was up to them.
I wanted them to know what wasin the book, how I talked about
them in the book.
And if they were, if anythingwas upsetting or uncomfortable
(37:27):
for them, I wanted to know that.
But I don't think that, youknow, I mean, they're all in
their twenties.
Um, and I don't think they,well, understandably you don't
really know how something feelsuntil you see it, excuse me,
until you see it in print and ittakes on a whole different
(37:47):
look, um, or field to it.
And I know that, um, a coupleof the kids were like, I just
want to read the finishedversion.
I just want to read the realone.
And that was, I totallyunderstood that.
Um, And that was fine.
And, you know, there arestories that I tell in the book
(38:07):
that I did take away names,whereas maybe I originally had
names in there.
But then just through theprocess thought, you know, this
isn't about that particularchild.
This is about how I wasaffected in these circumstances.
It's not about, I mean, okay,so it is about maybe something
(38:30):
that they did or didn't do.
Right.
I don't know, it's just beenreally interesting.
(39:03):
I told a lot.
Genevieve (39:06):
Did that add a little bit to the emotion as you were
coming off of this launch?
Did it add any extra maybestress or anxiousness getting to
hear from the kids?
LauraLyn (39:22):
So I was anxious to hear from them after I had
written.
Yes, I was anxious.
Genevieve (39:28):
Yes.
LauraLyn (39:28):
Because yes, I didn't want anyone's feelings to be
hurt because I didn't say enoughabout them or because I said
too much or, you know, there'sall the scenarios that you can
run over in your head of what isyour family going to think
because they are an integralpart of your life.
(39:49):
Yeah.
Your experiences and everyone'sactions around you affect how
you are going to deal with withthat.
Right.
I like to say, and my mom, youknow, told me this years ago
before it was a phrase.
So it's not about you.
It's about them.
(40:09):
But so I was sort of flippingthe coin in this respect of
writing the book and saying,this book is about me.
It is not about them.
Yeah.
If you will, if you'll take thatpath with me is it might be the
stories that they were in butthe storyline because of the
(40:34):
theme of the book is so who wereyou Laura Lynn in that story
and how did that story or thatcircumstance affect how you
internalized how you dealt withstruggle how you dealt with joy
how you dealt with you know fourkids age four and a half and
(40:56):
under what was it like to be themom that was pulling two
grocery carts pushing one andpulling the other not what were
the kids doing what was the momfeeling right there then the
person Laura Lynn even under thelabel of mom and so the kids
were able to and of course myhusband as well and to see my
(41:22):
side of the story because a lotof times our sides don't get
told just because of the natureof things.
That's just, you know, we don'talways get to tell our story.
People don't always want tohear our side of the story.
But there's always at least twosides, right?
Absolutely.
And you're going to learn andremember differently than the
(41:45):
person that you share your DNAwith.
The processing is going to bedifferent.
So it was, there was a coupleof times where the kids
commented on, I just really,hadn't thought about you as a
person that's
Genevieve (42:05):
so
LauraLyn (42:05):
hard
Genevieve (42:05):
when you're a mom you go you so one way
LauraLyn (42:09):
yeah yeah but but why would i mean i was mom and they
were little and they weregrowing and i was caring for
them and so they saw me as mombecause i was mom they didn't
see me as someone who hadstruggled with situations now as
they got older i was moretransparent with them of course
Right.
(42:29):
Right.
Yeah.
Genevieve (42:44):
So, Laura Lynn, before we close, I'd love to
share a little hidden chapterspotlight moment with my
listeners.
A brief excerpt or quote fromyour book that really captures
something meaningful about yourjourney or your story.
Would you be comfortablereading a short passage for us?
Yeah, absolutely.
I'd be glad.
I earmarked a lot of differentpages in your book because, of
(43:05):
course, I loved and resonatedwith a lot of it.
But I'd love to hear a littleexcerpt from pages 210 and 211
that really I felt answered yourbook title and really
encompassed what you were sayingthere.
LauraLyn (43:20):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
As crazy as it may sound togive this feeling a voice, I
would venture to say that I'mnot the only one who has felt
similarly.
What about you?
Did you have those days thatyou wanted Calgon to take you
further away than the bathtub?
Maybe you were better atself-care than I was, but even
(43:44):
Even with that, being thecaretaker requires a tremendous
amount of giving, self-denial,and life interruption.
It's easy to lose sight of whowe are.
Forgetting who we are iscommon.
Retracing our steps though andrediscovering ourselves is
critical.
Where did I lose myself?
How can I find myself so that Ican answer the question, who do
(44:09):
you think you are?
I
Genevieve (44:10):
love that.
What did that feel like towrite that chapter and end that
there?
You
LauraLyn (44:22):
know, that was a lot, a lot to write.
And I think to even come to theend of that chapter and
thinking about, you know,retracing my steps and
rediscovering me was, is whatthis book was in its whole
(44:47):
essence is seeing it mostly likea research project in the
overarching theme.
I'm researching myself and theresearch turns up what's
underneath.
It's like digging for treasureor the meat, the morsels.
So it took a lot, it took a lotto write, a lot of energy.
(45:09):
And I think giving that avoice, just writing that down
and putting that out there inprint that we are not what we
do.
We are more.
It's maybe easy to forget whowe are or to lose track or to
ignore ourselves, but we need tobe reminded that we need to
(45:34):
come back around and findourselves again because that's
very important.
It's easy to get lost and youdon't want to be lost.
Come back around.
Genevieve (46:12):
I'm excited you're going to be at the Military
Influencer Conference nextmonth.
I'll get to see you in person,give you a hug in person, and
have you sign my book.
LauraLyn (46:21):
Sounds perfect to me.
Thank
Genevieve (46:24):
you again.
Yes,
LauraLyn (46:25):
thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Genevieve (46:28):
Laura Lynn's book, Who Do You Think You Are?,
matters because it's not just astory, but a chance to dig a
little deeper and invite all ofus into a journey of
self-discovery and understandingof identity beyond what we do.
If you'd like to read more ofLaura Lynn's book, you can grab
it wherever books are sold, andI'll even link the Amazon link
(46:50):
in the show notes.
If you'd like to connect withLaura Lynn, I'll also put those
in the link.
You can follow her onInstagram, Substack, and you can
even find her website.
And if you're ready to keep theconversation going and connect
with this community we'rebuilding, come find me on
Substack at Hidden Chapters.
All the conversation, extendedinsights, and other things are
(47:11):
waiting there.
Thank you for listening toHidden Chapters.
Until next time, keep findingthe stories behind the smiles.
Every story has hidden chapters worth sharing,
and editing is what helps theseconversations shine.
Right now, editing is the mosttime-consuming part of this
podcast, and my goal is to raiseenough support to bring in
professional editing so I canfocus more on the conversations
and stories themselves.
I'm so grateful to DaveCampbell, a fellow podcaster and
(00:23):
my very first Buy Me a Coffeesupporter, and to my mom, who
supports Hidden Chapters Monthlyon Buzzsprout.
When you choose to support thenext chapter, you're helping me
work toward professional editingand making sure these stories
continue to be shared with thebest quality possible.
(00:44):
If you'd like to join them,you'll find the link in the show
notes.
Thank you for making HiddenChapters possible.
LauraLyn (00:55):
who am I?
Because every day, everymoment, we have an opportunity
for growth or not.
And if we're growing, thenwe're changing.
And if we're changing, then theanswer to the question, who do
you think you are, is going toevolve.
(01:16):
It should evolve.
That's part of growth.
There's been a lot of, youknow, just thinking about that
and question again who do youthink you are and what would the
second version of that book
Genevieve (01:34):
look like that was Laura Lynn Donahue writer editor
and poet whose debut memoir whodo you think you are explores
identity transformation and thepower of connection hey this is
Genevieve thanks so much fortaking a moment out of your busy
day to listen to a story ofself-discovery I'm You're
(01:55):
listening to Hidden Chapters,the place where we open up the
stories you don't usually hear,the ones tucked behind the
highlight reels and everydaysmiles.
In today's conversation, we'regoing to get to hear from Laura
Lynn as she talks about theunexpected things after her book
launched, dig into some ofthose hidden chapters between
(02:15):
the book chapters, and what'spotentially next for her.
Maybe another book in thefuture?
Laura Lynn is a Nashvillenative who grew up surrounded by
Southern hospitality and nowdelights in creating space for
others to share their gifts andstories.
She's a mom to five, lives inColumbia, Tennessee with her
husband, Don, and finds joy insending snail mail, walking her
(02:40):
dog, practicing yoga, andunwinding on her porch swing.
Today, we're turning the pageto discover the hidden chapters
behind her book.
So let's turn the page andbegin.
So Laura Lynn and I wereintroduced through her and
Chris's book publisher, JulieBrand.
Julie recommended Laura Lynn tomy podcast because her book
(03:00):
aligned perfectly with the heartand mission behind Hidden
Chapters.
I picked up Laura Lynn's bookand enjoyed reading it over the
summer in between some beachtime.
So thank you, Laura Lynn, forbeing my guest today and taking
time out of your week to shareyour story with me.
LauraLyn (03:14):
Absolutely.
Thanks for having me.
Genevieve (03:16):
Of course.
While I read your book, as yourwords resonated or I had
similar experiences, I took noteof the page numbers and a few
sentences as I read along.
I found we had a lot of commonexperiences, which I thought
would be fun to share andmention a in your book, you
studied abroad to Europe incollege.
I did too.
(03:37):
I went to London and spent asemester and enjoyed country
hopping.
So I loved reading that.
LauraLyn (03:45):
Boy, that was a long time ago, but wasn't it fun?
Yes.
Genevieve (03:48):
I have to dust my passport off soon so I can go
again and explore places, thistime with more money.
Right.
Yes.
Another one I reallyappreciated was that you shared
with Vulnerability your strugglewith people pleasing and
performing.
And that's actually somestruggles I've had growing up as
(04:08):
well.
So I really liked that I wasable to connect and share that
we're not alone in those.
LauraLyn (04:16):
Yeah.
I think probably there are morepeople just like us out there.
Genevieve (04:20):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And then a fun one.
I found out that I share abirthday with your husband,
Dawn.
Yes.
May 10th.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
So May 10th was the day that Ialso learned I
LauraLyn (04:39):
just
Genevieve (04:51):
wanted to start with asking you that first question
about your book.
Who do you think you are?
So what was something youdidn't expect would happen after
it released?
LauraLyn (05:03):
One thing that I did not expect, or I don't even know
if it's the right framework tosay didn't expect it, but I
didn't know who I was as anauthor.
So it's, you know, I've writtenthis book, Who Do You Think You
Are?
But yet I have not filled therole of author yet.
(05:26):
And what does she say?
What does she, how does sheinteract with people?
How does she talk to people?
does she talk about her book soI mean I guess somewhere in the
back of my head I knew that wasgoing to be required of me but
I just didn't I didn't knowuntil I went with my publishing
(05:48):
company to the Tucson Festivalof Books and there were 12 of us
authors there from W Brand andso I had a support system but
that was my first like forayinto okay you're an author and
here's your book and peoplemight stop by and ask you
questions.
Right.
(06:09):
So what I didn't expect oranticipate really was how I was
going to translate myself intoan authentic person who has
written a book and who cancommunicate with someone who
might be interested in readingit.
Just, I mean, I had one personask me, well, you know, boil
(06:34):
your book down into twosentences and I was like oh dear
I don't know and I gave twosentences don't ask me for them
right now I know it's hard youknow give me your elevator pitch
I'm like wait I can't off thecuff so but I managed to do it
and she bought a book so
Genevieve (06:55):
oh good yeah it's almost like really embracing
that new role I'm author so youhave to really kind of wrap your
head around
LauraLyn (07:04):
I'm an author well and you're you are representing
your authentic self you are notrepresenting like a mother
representing her children or awife representing her husband or
what or whatever it may be youare this is just like all
encompassing me and I rememberthinking I am really excited to
(07:29):
get to know her and so I left umfor that book festival with a
lot of a lot of joy some nervesfor sure but it was yeah it was
an experience I didn't know whatit would be like but it was a
good one
Genevieve (07:45):
oh good that's good to hear yeah so is there been a
story or a conversation that hascome after the book was
released where someone sharedwith you something that
surprised you or took pause
LauraLyn (08:00):
yeah as a matter of fact I have I reference her in
my book but my cousin she and Iare just about four months apart
and we grew up a couple milesdown the road from each other
and we did so many thingstogether just so much so that we
(08:20):
called ourselves twins you knowwe try to I don't know trick
people into thinking we're twinsbut so I call her my twin
cousin and someone in my lifewho has known me intimately as a
friend, as a relative, just,you know, ingrained in our lives
(08:43):
together.
She called me after she hadread the book and she said, I
just never really thought aboutall of the legalism that you
lived under.
And of course, I go into detailabout that in the book, but it
started to kind of unravel forme just really what I was living
(09:07):
under and it wasn't it wasn'tthat it was bad necessarily
because there were certainlysome beautiful things that came
of being in a community ofreligious people and but the
legalism because I am a pleaserbecause I am the do the right
(09:28):
thing girl or was maybe I'm notso much now I don't know um i
the rules i just played by therules so to speak you know and
you know one of thoseunfortunately was my religious
group where we were the onlyones going to heaven and i
(09:51):
imposed that on my cousin mimimy twin cousin and it never
really felt right and i couldn'treally understand Why?
You know, it was just agrappling of this doesn't make
sense because there's love here.
But she didn't really knowwhere I was coming from as far
(10:17):
as the doctrine that I had beeningrained in and how I used that
doctrine to really navigate allthe facets of my life and put
them under the guise of this isis what you have to do this is
how you are supposed to act andit took away some of my
(10:38):
spontaneity Mimi said you wereso crazy as a little girl and
you know fun and outgoing andbut I was a risk taker and I
kind of forgot that so for herto bring that to light really
gave me pause to think moreabout I just keep going back to
(11:00):
the word legalism because that'sjust you know what it is when
you're trapped in legalismsometimes it's just really hard
to see it because it's become soingrained in you and the people
that you're around that itfeels normal
Genevieve (11:17):
right
LauraLyn (11:17):
and
Genevieve (11:18):
she kind of pointed something out of what you were
quite aware of yeah
LauraLyn (11:21):
and I really appreciated that a lot and
wasn't expecting it but itsparked a really really healthy
good conversation for us
Genevieve (11:30):
yeah that's good yeah and you always want those those
Absolutely.
Yes.
It was.
Yeah.
Well,
LauraLyn (12:08):
that's a lifelong process.
And I think I have always beentrying to answer that question.
How do I get out from under thepleasing?
Because the pleasing is where Ifound respect from other
(12:29):
people.
I found affirmation from otherpeople.
And I was really associatingthose things with people
pleasing.
So if this, then this.
So if I am pleasing to otherpeople, then I will get this
from them.
I will get respect.
(12:50):
I will get love.
I will get some type ofaffirmation that wasn't really
lacking in my life, but my DNAjust gravitated to it.
toward people pleasing.
And that was, you know, thatquote worked for me.
And so even now, trying to comeout from under it, I mean, of
(13:14):
course, it's taken years oftherapy and just some other
realizations about myself torealize that it's not so
important about to be pleasingothers.
Finding myself and self-care,if you will, is the most
important thing because if wearen't being our authentic
(13:37):
selves if we aren't being trueto who we are then we're really
missing out on something prettygood you know it gets pushed
under the rug it gets suppressedand it takes a lot of mental
energy a lot of work to walkinto a situation and think okay
(13:58):
so this is the person I have tobe at this event or at this
party or at this book club orwhatever, you know, it is.
I'm changing based on my,quote, audience.
So coming out from under that,you know, I am 56.
(14:18):
So it's only really beenrecently that I'm exercising
that muscle even more than Iwas.
I mean, there's therecognition, right?
So you've got to see it, thatit's happening, that you're
doing But then the coming outfrom under it, I don't know that
(14:39):
you can get it completely outfrom under it, but you can begin
to recognize when you're doingit.
And I'll just give you anexample.
Recently, I was offered a jobpromotion.
I work for a yoga studio.
So going from receptionist tomanager, there were a list of
things.
I mean, a long list of thingsfor, you know, would be my new
(15:02):
job.
responsibilities.
And I looked at that list and Ithought, well, I can do all of
these.
I can do every single one, butI don't want to.
And so I advocated for myself.
I said, I would love to takethis position, but I don't want
(15:23):
to take that drive time that Ineed, you know, that's offered
here.
That is not part of who I wantto be continuing.
I don't I don't want to be theperson who says, yeah, I can do
all of this and then start doingit and become just encumbered
with too much responsibilitybecause that's not the only job
(15:44):
I have.
Right.
move that barrier out of theway at the beginning, rather
(16:08):
than holding on to, oh, now Ihave to make that drive today.
I have to do that drive everyday or every Wednesday.
And why didn't I speak up formyself?
Because I knew when I read it,that's not something I want to
do.
That's not, you know, 15 minutedrive, fine.
50 minute drive in traffic.
(16:29):
No, thank you.
Genevieve (16:30):
Right.
Yeah.
And I growing up my dad wasmilitary so we moved a lot of
different places and I basicallyhad trained myself to be a
chameleon to change my look thedress the attitude to fit in
because I didn't want to bealone yeah and then I think over
the years I've even gotten usedto just going with what
(16:51):
everybody says to make everybodyhappy at the expense of myself
now I'm burning myself outbecause I am doing all the
things I'm not telling anybodyno yeah and even in my mid 40s
Well, I address this in my book.
LauraLyn (17:32):
book and it has to do with an eating disorder and
it's hard to talk about becauseit's more like no you didn't
really have an eating disordernobody saw that if people didn't
(17:54):
notice that about you then it'snot real so coming out now and
saying well looking back Right.
And if you're a people pleaser,even if that means pleasing
(18:35):
yourself by abiding by rules,then behavior like eating
restrictions can just become aguideline and become ingrained
in you just like your otherrules.
And as I was writing my book, Iwas also in menopause.
(18:56):
And so I was experiencingweight gain that I had not
experienced before.
I was experiencing self-doubtbecause of that.
I was losing some of my notself-respect as much as maybe
worth.
I just felt like my self-worthwas lowering.
(19:19):
And this is based on a size.
And having to come to termswith the fact that I'm meeting
you and you're not basing ourdiscussion on what my size is
you know it's oh it's just it'sa lot of work to come out from
(19:40):
under and I just had to stopwriting because I had to I just
needed to go and deal with thatwith my psychiatrist I did a
group nutrition program withother women I had a nutritionist
I had to at least recognizewhat was going on with my body,
(20:06):
with my mind, with how I wastrying to control myself,
understand where that came from,why I was dealing with it, and
how do I kind of get out fromunder it?
What are the tools forreleasing myself?
Not realizing that part of myacting out was just was binging
(20:32):
and purging.
I wasn't throwing up, but I wasexercising.
So I would exercise to eat.
So I could do, you know, but ifI ate too much, then back to the
exercise.
And that's just another form ofbinging and purging.
Genevieve (20:48):
Yeah.
And I remember you said you hadfrom your book, that was
something that stemmed in your,was it teenage years?
LauraLyn (20:55):
Yes.
Yes.
It stemmed in my teenage years,maybe even tweens.
Um, Um, but it wasn't somethingthat I, I didn't set out to
lose weight.
I didn't set out to, uh, itjust came upon me when one of my
(21:16):
friends said, let's try out fortrack.
Let's be on the track team sothat we can stay in shape and
eat.
And I, I don't think I'd everthought about it that way
before.
I was just a naturally activechild.
Like most of us are, um, And Imean, you know, playing outside
(21:36):
with my brothers or playingkickball or school, you know,
kind of activities.
And so that's kind of where theframework began of, okay, so
put the exercise in there.
And then, okay, so maybe I'msupposed to be a certain size.
So how do I gauge the food andthe exercise?
(22:01):
Well, I gauge that by weight.
So, you know, weighing, tryingto stay at a certain weight,
being disappointed in myself ifI wasn't that weight, really, it
just became all encompassingjust for years and years and
never, ever in my life would Ithen would I have told you that
(22:24):
I had an eating disorder.
I
Genevieve (22:26):
would
LauraLyn (22:27):
know I would have said no, someone who has an
eating disorder is in thehospital, or is emaciated.
There are visible signs, butthere are a lot of signs that
aren't visible.
Genevieve (22:39):
Right.
LauraLyn (22:40):
That are unknown to the person who has disordered
eating or to the person who'slooking, you know, I mean, I was
getting affirmation.
Oh, you look so good.
You're, you know, in shape, youknow, what do you do?
How do you stay your size?
How do you, and I'm thinking,well, if you only knew all of
these things that I'm doing, butpeople would just say, oh,
(23:02):
well, That just must be how youare.
And I would think it's just, ittakes a lot of work.
Right.
And a lot of time and it stealsa lot of joy.
Genevieve (23:14):
Right.
When you mentioned it too, andyou said you had to really
pause, you were writing in themiddle of writing your book.
Right.
And right when you said youwere starting to talk about
that, you said you had to pauseand take a break.
What did that struggle looklike?
during that time?
Because that's
LauraLyn (23:38):
a big project to put a pause on, right?
and take a pause and say okay Idon't think I can continue to
(24:09):
write my book authenticallywithout addressing this issue
because someone's going to needthe advice or someone's going to
need to be able to relate tosomebody else who has gone
through something similar butwhat did you do about it and so
(24:32):
yeah I There were other parts ofmy book that I could continue
to write.
But that one, it just really,really struck me.
And I thought the healthy thingto do was to deal with it.
Genevieve (24:46):
And I found that encouraging, too, that you
mentioned that you had to stopand pause because what it is
also encouraging is you'reimportant.
You need to take care ofyourself first before you can
take care of anybody else.
And that's even something moreI'm learning more and more as
I'm getting older I go I'vetaken care of a lot of people
but if I'm not taken care ofit's to my own detriment so I
(25:09):
think that's a great message tosend is sometimes you do need to
take a pause and really taketime for yourself it's just
truly important
LauraLyn (25:17):
it is truly important and it's not just a bath or
getting your nails done or selfcare is much deeper than that it
might even just be sittingstill and being quiet and giving
yourself space to do that.
Genevieve (25:35):
Absolutely.
I so agree with that.
In talking a little bit aboutyour writing as well, in this
journey and experience, did youever write something, then
delete it out of fear orprotection or maybe that
imperfect, that perfectionism?
LauraLyn (25:52):
Oh, no, never, never.
Everything was perfect from theget go.
Exactly.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
You know, sometimes uh you'llhear if you're really if you've
got a lot of anger regarding asituation that's happened
somebody might say well write itdown you know write about it
(26:14):
and so in a sense as i waswriting i was writing down the
version that was my angriestself first and then i would go
okay let's go back and look atthat i'm like man you were
really angry So yeah, so itwould sometimes take a few
(26:39):
drafts to get back to really themeat of what I wanted to say.
Yeah.
Let's deal with the emotionalpart of it.
That's very valid.
That's important.
But what, how is that going totranslate?
Let's translate to not how madyou were about it, but what you
did about it and what worked foryou or didn't work for you in
(27:02):
that circumstance and is whatyou've written meant to hurt
someone else do you want itthere to you know point a finger
at someone and that wasn't thegoal of my writing but it was
part of my writing it's part ofthe process so yeah so yeah
(27:23):
there was there were a lot ofdeletions
Genevieve (27:26):
well I'm finding that very neat not well neat is the
word I know there's probablyanother word for that but I'm
finding Finding it reallyinteresting, a lot of the author
friends that I'm getting thechance to speak to, everybody
talks about it like that.
There's this therapeuticjourney you go through, the
things that you're writing,especially when you're writing
your life.
There's things that rehash andopen up old wounds.
(27:48):
And imagine you have to workthrough those before you put
them on paper.
And like you said, I'm ajournaler myself.
So there's times I'm writing inanger.
And then I go back and I readit and I go, I needed that.
But this is definitely notsomething I want to share.
LauraLyn (28:02):
Right.
Right.
Right.
Nor should you.
Right.
That's why they're diaries.
That's why diaries used to havelocks on them.
Genevieve (28:10):
That's right.
I had a few of those.
I'd forget my key sometimes orlose my key.
But yeah.
Yeah.
That's so funny and true.
So now that the book isfinished and it's written, what
feels maybe unfinished?
LauraLyn (28:30):
Oh, let's see.
Unfinished.
Well, part of what's unfinishedis answering the question, who
do you think you are?
And in my opinion, you wereanswering that question on a
daily basis, on a weekly basis,in the summer and the spring.
(28:54):
We are, okay, well, who am I?
Because every day, everymoment, We have an opportunity
for growth or not.
And if we're growing, thenwe're changing.
And if we're changing, then theanswer to the question, who do
(29:15):
you think you are, is going toevolve.
It should evolve.
That's part of growth.
So there's been a lot of justthinking about that question
again.
Who do you think you are?
and what would the secondversion of that book look like?
(29:37):
I mean, it, you know, itwouldn't go back to the
beginning, but it, so theunfinished is sort of, as Paul
Harvey would say, the rest ofthe story.
You know, it just, what youdon't know the rest of the
story, so that remainsunfinished.
And then also, you know, cominginto some just the importance
(30:05):
of putting my work out there andletting people know about it
marketing yourself I mean that'snot a real easy thing for me to
do or want to do but how elsedo you get other people to know
that your story is there you'vegot to tell them so that
(30:27):
continues to be unfinished
Genevieve (30:29):
I imagine too you and I are very similar in that too
where you ask that question whodo you think you are that kind
of stirs up more questions nowthat you're marketing yourself
and you're having to get yourbook out there that sometimes
that I'm sure that can rattleyou a little going who do you
think you are right you can thetone of the question is
completely different I imagineso I imagine so it's
LauraLyn (30:53):
that not the gaslighting but what's the
popular phrase that you loseyour confidence and imposter the
imposter syndrome Yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
That raises its ugly head quiteoften.
Who do you think you are?
Right.
Changes the whole tone, startsto, yeah.
(31:13):
Yeah, yeah.
Genevieve (31:16):
That's so true.
Yeah.
Even doing what I'm doingsometimes, I go, who do you
think you are?
That's hard.
That's hard, you know.
Like you right now too, youknow, just putting myself out
there and, you know, I don'tparticularly want to be in the
spotlight.
Yeah.
LauraLyn (32:02):
Yeah.
with the book, handing it offto an editor, it was a little
(32:39):
bit, there was some, a littlenerve wracking.
But what I found is, is thisprocess was so valuable.
And maybe it also depends onthe editor that you have.
But I felt like my editor whodidn't know me, we'd never met
each other.
She understood the voice of mybook.
(32:59):
And she she was able to offersuggestions to the opportunity
to provide clarity you knowmaybe a paragraph that didn't
didn't fully have closure to itor didn't fully explain really
what you were trying to getacross and sometimes you don't
(33:22):
know that until someone elsereads it because it it makes
sense to you but as the writeryou've got to tell the whole
story so you've got to give allof the details down to the you
know sound in the air and thecolor of the rug or or whatever
that is so an editor I almostlooked forward to the edits a
(33:45):
little bit of trepidation butthen I would see the benefit of
it and think oh I've been givenanother chance yeah so this
doesn't go out incomplete nowthat's not to say the book
doesn't need some more work toit but it It's much better than
it would have been without aneditor.
(34:08):
And that part, you don't skip.
You don't skip it.
And I think it needs to be aneutral party and objective
person.
You might get a little bit ofthat from a relative or a
friend, but you're not going toget the full scope.
So that was, I don't even thinkit was humbling.
(34:31):
I think it was just, just feltright to me.
It just felt like the rightthing.
So it was good.
It was a good experience.
Yeah.
Ask me about it again, youknow, after the next book comes
out, whatever that is, and maybeI'll have a different story.
But I
Genevieve (34:47):
think that was going to be my next question that I
wanted to ask you is now thatyou have launched the book and
the books out there, what wouldbe next for you?
What are you feeling right nowin this after launch book?
LauraLyn (35:00):
Yeah, yeah.
So prior to releasing the book,the goal was to release a book
in my lifetime, right?
So you get the book out there.
It's published.
It feels good.
It feels like anaccomplishment.
And yes, now that the baby hasbeen birthed, if you will,
what's next?
Do you write another book?
(35:21):
Well, you did write a book.
That's great.
Maybe you could do another one.
So I am always asking myselfthis question.
What would your next next bookbe if you were to write one I
think about what will I writenext it feels like it's always a
burning question and I evaluateso I'll hear someone on a
(35:45):
podcast talk and I think okaywell could I write about that or
I have loads of poetry thatI've written all of my life
maybe it's a book of poetry Idon't know that that's very
marketable but I have it it'svaluable to me And I guess for
me, putting something out therein print is as much, if not the
(36:11):
only reason for posterity'ssake.
It is there for my family tolook back on, for my children.
And by the way, four of myadult children have read my
book.
Genevieve (36:24):
Oh, that's a good question I can ask you about is
their reaction.
Yeah.
We'll do that one.
Yeah.
LauraLyn (36:29):
Yeah.
Okay.
So I guess the answer to thequestion, what's next or what's
the next book is, I don't knowyet.
But I do feel, I feel myselfthinking about it a lot and I
don't know exactly what thatmeans or what it looks like, but
(36:50):
it's, we shall see.
I
Genevieve (36:54):
want to talk about your children's reactions to the
book.
Now, did they read it before?
Did they get a manuscriptbefore or did they get to read
it?
So
LauraLyn (37:05):
the kids were given, when I was writing, I gave them
a manuscript, but my childrendid not read it.
And that's fine.
It was, it was up to them.
I wanted them to know what wasin the book, how I talked about
them in the book.
And if they were, if anythingwas upsetting or uncomfortable
(37:27):
for them, I wanted to know that.
But I don't think that, youknow, I mean, they're all in
their twenties.
Um, and I don't think they,well, understandably you don't
really know how something feelsuntil you see it, excuse me,
until you see it in print and ittakes on a whole different
(37:47):
look, um, or field to it.
And I know that, um, a coupleof the kids were like, I just
want to read the finishedversion.
I just want to read the realone.
And that was, I totallyunderstood that.
Um, And that was fine.
And, you know, there arestories that I tell in the book
(38:07):
that I did take away names,whereas maybe I originally had
names in there.
But then just through theprocess thought, you know, this
isn't about that particularchild.
This is about how I wasaffected in these circumstances.
It's not about, I mean, okay,so it is about maybe something
(38:30):
that they did or didn't do.
Right.
I don't know, it's just beenreally interesting.
(39:03):
I told a lot.
Genevieve (39:06):
Did that add a little bit to the emotion as you were
coming off of this launch?
Did it add any extra maybestress or anxiousness getting to
hear from the kids?
LauraLyn (39:22):
So I was anxious to hear from them after I had
written.
Yes, I was anxious.
Genevieve (39:28):
Yes.
LauraLyn (39:28):
Because yes, I didn't want anyone's feelings to be
hurt because I didn't say enoughabout them or because I said
too much or, you know, there'sall the scenarios that you can
run over in your head of what isyour family going to think
because they are an integralpart of your life.
(39:49):
Yeah.
Your experiences and everyone'sactions around you affect how
you are going to deal with withthat.
Right.
I like to say, and my mom, youknow, told me this years ago
before it was a phrase.
So it's not about you.
It's about them.
(40:09):
But so I was sort of flippingthe coin in this respect of
writing the book and saying,this book is about me.
It is not about them.
Yeah.
If you will, if you'll take thatpath with me is it might be the
stories that they were in butthe storyline because of the
(40:34):
theme of the book is so who wereyou Laura Lynn in that story
and how did that story or thatcircumstance affect how you
internalized how you dealt withstruggle how you dealt with joy
how you dealt with you know fourkids age four and a half and
(40:56):
under what was it like to be themom that was pulling two
grocery carts pushing one andpulling the other not what were
the kids doing what was the momfeeling right there then the
person Laura Lynn even under thelabel of mom and so the kids
were able to and of course myhusband as well and to see my
(41:22):
side of the story because a lotof times our sides don't get
told just because of the natureof things.
That's just, you know, we don'talways get to tell our story.
People don't always want tohear our side of the story.
But there's always at least twosides, right?
Absolutely.
And you're going to learn andremember differently than the
(41:45):
person that you share your DNAwith.
The processing is going to bedifferent.
So it was, there was a coupleof times where the kids
commented on, I just really,hadn't thought about you as a
person that's
Genevieve (42:05):
so
LauraLyn (42:05):
hard
Genevieve (42:05):
when you're a mom you go you so one way
LauraLyn (42:09):
yeah yeah but but why would i mean i was mom and they
were little and they weregrowing and i was caring for
them and so they saw me as mombecause i was mom they didn't
see me as someone who hadstruggled with situations now as
they got older i was moretransparent with them of course
Right.
(42:29):
Right.
Yeah.
Genevieve (42:44):
So, Laura Lynn, before we close, I'd love to
share a little hidden chapterspotlight moment with my
listeners.
A brief excerpt or quote fromyour book that really captures
something meaningful about yourjourney or your story.
Would you be comfortablereading a short passage for us?
Yeah, absolutely.
I'd be glad.
I earmarked a lot of differentpages in your book because, of
(43:05):
course, I loved and resonatedwith a lot of it.
But I'd love to hear a littleexcerpt from pages 210 and 211
that really I felt answered yourbook title and really
encompassed what you were sayingthere.
LauraLyn (43:20):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
As crazy as it may sound togive this feeling a voice, I
would venture to say that I'mnot the only one who has felt
similarly.
What about you?
Did you have those days thatyou wanted Calgon to take you
further away than the bathtub?
Maybe you were better atself-care than I was, but even
(43:44):
Even with that, being thecaretaker requires a tremendous
amount of giving, self-denial,and life interruption.
It's easy to lose sight of whowe are.
Forgetting who we are iscommon.
Retracing our steps though andrediscovering ourselves is
critical.
Where did I lose myself?
How can I find myself so that Ican answer the question, who do
(44:09):
you think you are?
I
Genevieve (44:10):
love that.
What did that feel like towrite that chapter and end that
there?
You
LauraLyn (44:22):
know, that was a lot, a lot to write.
And I think to even come to theend of that chapter and
thinking about, you know,retracing my steps and
rediscovering me was, is whatthis book was in its whole
(44:47):
essence is seeing it mostly likea research project in the
overarching theme.
I'm researching myself and theresearch turns up what's
underneath.
It's like digging for treasureor the meat, the morsels.
So it took a lot, it took a lotto write, a lot of energy.
(45:09):
And I think giving that avoice, just writing that down
and putting that out there inprint that we are not what we
do.
We are more.
It's maybe easy to forget whowe are or to lose track or to
ignore ourselves, but we need tobe reminded that we need to
(45:34):
come back around and findourselves again because that's
very important.
It's easy to get lost and youdon't want to be lost.
Come back around.
Genevieve (46:12):
I'm excited you're going to be at the Military
Influencer Conference nextmonth.
I'll get to see you in person,give you a hug in person, and
have you sign my book.
LauraLyn (46:21):
Sounds perfect to me.
Thank
Genevieve (46:24):
you again.
Yes,
LauraLyn (46:25):
thank you.
Thanks for having me.
Genevieve (46:28):
Laura Lynn's book, Who Do You Think You Are?,
matters because it's not just astory, but a chance to dig a
little deeper and invite all ofus into a journey of
self-discovery and understandingof identity beyond what we do.
If you'd like to read more ofLaura Lynn's book, you can grab
it wherever books are sold, andI'll even link the Amazon link
(46:50):
in the show notes.
If you'd like to connect withLaura Lynn, I'll also put those
in the link.
You can follow her onInstagram, Substack, and you can
even find her website.
And if you're ready to keep theconversation going and connect
with this community we'rebuilding, come find me on
Substack at Hidden Chapters.
All the conversation, extendedinsights, and other things are
(47:11):
waiting there.
Thank you for listening toHidden Chapters.
Until next time, keep findingthe stories behind the smiles.
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