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January 31, 2024 47 mins

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Embark on a whimsical journey through time and space as we serve up a cocktail of cult classic fandom and philosophical musings in this latest adventure of the High n' Dry Podcast. Ryan Baron North and James Crosslin are your hosts, pouring a stiff one with Brothers Bond Bourbon and sprinkling some "fairy dust" cannabis for good measure. Hitch a ride to the dusty dunes of Arrakis. It's a full-on geek-out session, blending pop culture references with a side of historical oddities—did you know about that weird Texas-Oklahoma history slice?

Strap in as we traverse the treacherous landscape of "Dune," juxtaposing David Lynch's 1984 film against its modern counterpart, and marvel at the narrative labyrinth Frank Herbert created. Expect a hearty discussion on the portrayal of women in the epic saga, the storytelling prowess (or lack thereof) of internal monologues, and a whimsical "what if" scenario that mashes up the "Dune" universe with bourbon-soaked revelry. We don't shy away from the tough critiques either, diving into the film's undercurrents of bro love, and pondering the deeper messages Herbert may have been encoding in his masterpiece.

As our session winds down, we tease the senses with a hint of a Total Recall special that's brewing just over the horizon. We're all about engaging with our listeners, feeling the love from our YouTube family, and raising a glass to all of you across our platforms. Before the curtain falls, we tip our hats to film remakes and share a hot take on Jessica's portrayal in the newer Total Recall. It's a whirlwind of thought-provoking banter and intoxicating debate, so pull up a chair, and let's raise the bar together on this episode of the High n' Dry Podcast.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ryan Baron North (00:00):
Yeah, I got that.
I got some notes.
I got some notes.
I'm I don't know.
This is gonna be interesting.
This is.
That was fucking weird.
So, hey, everybody, welcome tohigh and dry podcast, the only
podcast you know that is stillkeeping alive the fandom of
let's do critters, critters to,critters to.

(00:25):
Yeah, we're still out there,we're still doing our thing,
we're still pushing the merch.

James Crosslin (00:30):
You know, I haven't, I've never seen
critters.
Would that be a good one forthis podcast?

Ryan Baron North (00:35):
No, okay it was, it was bad.

James Crosslin (00:42):
No, we've had Rebel Moon on here before, so I
think there's gonna be someRebel Moon comparisons coming up
.

Ryan Baron North (00:51):
I think so too , I feel.
I feel Glasgow is starting toget used to that.
So so, hey, everyone, welcometo the show.
As I was saying, I'm Ryan BaronNorth, with me, as always,
james Crosslin.
James, what's going on?

James Crosslin (01:07):
Hey, things are going well.
It's beautiful out here inSouthern California.
I I just made a giant pot ofblack beans, so everything's
awesome.

Ryan Baron North (01:19):
Hell, yeah, hell yeah, and I'm coming at you
from a hotel room in the tip ofTexas, near Wichita.
Just the tip, just the tip.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you know why Oklahoma hasthat little slice of what looks
like it should belong to Texas?

James Crosslin (01:41):
Because Texas didn't want it.

Ryan Baron North (01:44):
Because at the time the Congress determined
that above that that line on themap, you can't own slaves, and
Texas decided that they wouldrather give that chunk to
Oklahoma than to not own slavesin that area.
They're principled.

(02:04):
That's the thing is.

James Crosslin (02:06):
We have to admire how principles Texas is
when it comes to when it comesto cruelty.

Ryan Baron North (02:16):
They, they have it down to a science.
So, for those of you, this isyour first episode.
This is how we do this.
We're going to be talking aboutsome pop culture, some
philosophy.
We're going to have a good timewith it, and what makes it all
the more fun is that we're goingto be doing it drunk and high.
James, what are you smokingthis week?

James Crosslin (02:36):
So this week I've got Kush Mount.
It's the return of KushMountain.
We're going back to the cliffsof Kush Mountain and I've also
scooped some Keith in there.
Do you know about Keith?
I think that's a phrase.
Yeah, Keith is afraid is a wordthat's thrown around a lot when
talking about weed and I don'tfeel like it's clearly

(02:57):
communicated.
So when you grind some cannabisflower, there's like this dust
on the surface and that dustcontains these things called
trichromes, which are whatcontain a bunch of the THC and a
bunch of the terpenes, thingsthat give the cannabis its
flavor and stuff.
And when they dry out they'relike kind of loose on the

(03:19):
surface.
They can get rubbed off onthings.
Or when you grind, they likeget sifted through and a lot of
grinders.
There's like a mesh screen thatwe're only a little bit, where
only very tiny stuff can getthrough, and they got a
collector at the bottom.
A lot of people don't use thisstuff, but but it comes out the
bottom and it's like superconcentrated cannabis and it's

(03:40):
like it's got all.
It's got so much THC and it'slike this little fine powder and
so I'm putting that power, mywife and I.
Before we knew the terminology,we called it fairy dust because
it like it fucks your shit up.

Ryan Baron North (03:53):
And that's what I'm going to do today.
Lovely, so I'm going to bejoining you with one of my
particular fit, my personalfavorites Brothers Bond Bourbon.
It's I love the flavor of it.
It's got a very you got a verycaramel flavor.
There's a lot going on withthis and it doesn't have it's

(04:15):
smooth going down, so you reallycould just pop it down.
No problems, no questions.
I started drinking it a whileback and I had some friends I
was with time said they were,they were female friends and
they said, oh my God, you'redrinking Brothers Bond and I
didn't know Bourbon was a bigthing in those circles.
They explained to me that thedudes from the Vampire Diaries

(04:40):
are the ones who make it.
We've had Brothers.

James Crosslin (04:42):
Bond on the show .
Before, go back and listen toour other episodes.
You'll find it.

Ryan Baron North (04:47):
Yeah, and I'm well, I'm still coming back.
So, vampire Diary guys, I'mstill appreciating your bourbon,
so thank you for that.

James Crosslin (04:54):
So let's line them up this is in a barrel with
a creature of the night for 100years Nestled in the coffin of
a vampire.

Ryan Baron North (05:07):
Here's our first one.
This one goes to our movie ofthe week, dune 1984,
specifically Cheers.

James Crosslin (05:15):
Cheers I.
I first see some comparisons Ido too To the new, because it's
it's hard to talk about the oldone without without talking
about the new one.
We've got an update, you know.

Ryan Baron North (05:31):
Yeah, definitely without a doubt.
I have my Dune novel nearby aswell.

James Crosslin (05:36):
Good, Good so we can just go.
I've got my, my, my copy thatyou gave me somewhere around
here.

Ryan Baron North (05:44):
Every household needs one copy of Dune
.
So the second one, this toastI'm actually this one's gonna go
to returning visitors.
Apparently, these guys, likeyou know they like a little
abuse Our folks over at Glasgow.
They decided to come back forround two after we, after we,

(06:07):
trashed them on the show.
So I thank you guys for beinggood sports.
This one's to you Cheers.
It's easier the second time.
I kind of feel bad.
This is this beverage is meantto be sipped, not chugged down.
Well, listen to me.

James Crosslin (06:28):
Not, I think.
I think in in relation to oursubject for today dude, you
can't always choose yourcircumstances.
You gotta, you gotta work withwhat you got, make the most of
what you got.

Ryan Baron North (06:42):
That's right.
Well then, let's line up thisthird one, and here's to making
the most of what you have Cheers.

James Crosslin (06:53):
The sleeper has awakened oh man.

Ryan Baron North (06:59):
Oh, thank you, fan fire guys.
That that's hitting my emptystomach real good so this is the
golden path.
All right, so I'm on the goldenpath.
This is how we're gonna do thisthe first part of the show.
We're gonna have our soberthoughts.
Second part of the show we'regonna have our elevated,

(07:19):
heightened thoughts, once we'veactually stepped on to the
golden path, and finally we'regonna do a what if?
Yeah, this is gonna happen realfast.
I'm gonna be riding thissandworm real quick.
So, and then round three.
We're gonna have a what ifscenario we're gonna slam

(07:40):
ourselves into doom, or we'regonna introduce bourbon to
arachis.
We'll see how it goes.
So.
So, james, off the cuff.
Your, your sober thoughts.
We just watched that.

James Crosslin (07:56):
Yeah, it was a hard movie to watch.
It's just, it's David Lynch.
You'd expect some.
You know you expect somethingreally engaging and fast.
You know he likes got themovement right Like a fight club
or something You'd expect likethat kind of of experience, but

(08:19):
it's so slow.
It's so slow.
This is the first time I'veseen the movie, by the way, okay
, okay, what about you?

Ryan Baron North (08:28):
The it was.
So I will say this all right,lynch was definitely.
He was definitely a dune nerd.
You could definitely feel thathe loved the material and he got
a bunch of friends of his andactors that were coming up and

(08:50):
who liked dune too and they'relike, we have this weighty
fucking tome that no oneoriginally wanted to publish and
I'm gonna take this and I amgoing to giz it out onto a
camera.

James Crosslin (09:10):
You know, I think he got, I think he said
I'm pretty sure I read this whenI was like looking around for
dune info is that he said thatthere was studio interference
and he might have made acompletely different movie if
there wasn't so much studiointerference.
And he ended up, he said afterthis, like he didn't let anyone

(09:31):
touch his shit anymore.
He was like I demand fullcontrol and it's paid off for
him.

Ryan Baron North (09:38):
Well, yeah, yeah, he became and it was just
speaking of it paid off for them.
It was so weird looking atthese like sets that you would
see in 1960s Star Trek, crammedfull of actors who were gonna
become a big deal.

James Crosslin (09:57):
Yeah, the sets were very funny.
The costumes were very funny.
I loved the.
I loved the hazmat guys versusthe gas station attendance.
Do you remember that fight?

Ryan Baron North (10:08):
Yes, yes, I do .

James Crosslin (10:11):
People with like nuclear safety gear versus guys
in caps and belts.

Ryan Baron North (10:18):
And the wildest thing was, 90% of that
movie was people entering aplace.

James Crosslin (10:27):
Yeah.

Ryan Baron North (10:33):
Like they didn't realize that you can cut
to the meat and potatoes of ascene.

James Crosslin (10:38):
We don't have to always know how they entered
the room, but in the past thatwas a thing, though you had to
show people entering, Like ifyou watch a movie from the past,
that shit happens all the time.
It is so stupid and boring.
I don't know.
We're audiences at the timelike where the fuck did that guy

(10:59):
come from?

Ryan Baron North (11:01):
Well, it's like a WWE main event, you know,
like every scene, every lastscene.
And I loved when there were somany times when an extra or like
a bit player like you could seethat he was just trying to get
himself on camera and he wouldgo super extra with it, like the

(11:25):
dudes with the Gatling guns,would move someone into the
screen and they were just beingso wild with it.
It was.

James Crosslin (11:35):
Brad Dorough did one of those where this was
like Brad Dorough, up and coming.
He played pitter and when, whenhe like died after Lito, like
blew the gas in his face, helike, he like his body went back
, like I was like man.
He really overdid it and it wasvery funny.
But now, but now Brad Dorough,big actor, yeah.

Ryan Baron North (11:58):
Well, I'm glad you brought him up.
Well, he was snake tongue whenhe.
Worm tongue in order to rings.
Yeah, yeah, well, basically thesame character.
Well, I recall when you and Iwatched the new Dune with
Shalamet yeah, we had a problemwith how they portrayed Pite

(12:22):
here, and because they?
Because he is a Mentat assassinyou know, he is a wild mix of
things in the universe and theyjust totally glossed over him.
And then we go back to this1984 one, and I feel they did it
then too.

James Crosslin (12:40):
You think so.
I think they gave him, I thinkthey gave Piter a lot to do.
I think they, they actually,they actually let him go a
little, hand it up a little.
They were chewing on thescenery, peter, piter and and
Vladimir.
They were chewing on thefucking scenery, dude.
They were picking out of theirteeth for days they.

(13:03):
I like this movie.
I thought it was good.

Ryan Baron North (13:06):
I know I'm going to agree with you on that
the when the Baron and hislittle Mentat assassin were on
screen, you know it was like no,it reminded me of it.
Reminded me and like this isgoing to be a.
You know you have to like packa lunch for this, you know
stretch, but it reminded me ofMuppet Christmas Carol where?

James Crosslin (13:28):
No, no, I don't.

Ryan Baron North (13:30):
Fuck you Wickey List.
But then you got these twodudes who, like I'm going to
play this thing, like I'mgetting an Academy Award off of
this, like this is my chance,and I felt that's what, what?
Piter and the Baron?
When they were on screenthey're like let's give it
everything.
We got.

James Crosslin (13:47):
They really did.
They gave it everything theygot.
When, when, when the Baron wasstaring at sting just like like,
yeah, he did such a good job,so I wanted to get that out of
the way and say something goodabout this movie before you rip
it apart.

Ryan Baron North (14:08):
Oh yeah, and so well, then I feel like okay,
so I do have a thought, but I'mgoing to save that for when
we're on the golden path Fully.
I will say one more time that,in the comparison between New
Dune and 84, the Baron, whilestill very comical, especially

(14:32):
when he's spinning through theair into the worms mouth yeah,
was much more like holy shit.
This dude needs to go.

James Crosslin (14:43):
Yeah, yeah, he was like truly evil in this one.
Yeah, they really showed himbeing a weird goblin, yeah.

Ryan Baron North (14:53):
In New Dune, the only difference between Lado
and the Baron was that theBaron was fat and ugly yeah, and
between two authoritarians Iwas just supposed to hate fat
and ugly.
In this, though, between allthe authoritarians on the table,
we have a fucked up guy who'sgot a go yeah, and they

(15:16):
definitely accomplished that alittle better, I feel.

James Crosslin (15:20):
Oh yeah, I mean they didn't have him raping
enough young boys or eatingpeople, like like Frank Herbert
would have wanted.
You know, that's what he put inhis book.
I wanted to see it on screen.
I'm just kidding.

Ryan Baron North (15:35):
Wait Well, and I'll be honest with you, I'm
watching this movie from what?
40 years ago almost exactly,and when he's going at that
young sexy thing, I kind of likeI was like kind of looking away
like it was a hard scene towatch.

James Crosslin (15:56):
I wrote, I wrote down oh, where is it?
I said when, when they had,when they had him getting sexual
gratification from spitting in,jet in a in a bound woman's
face.
That was one of the tamestthings that Frank Herbert wrote
about women in his fucking dudeseries.
It's like, yeah, I'm glad, I'mglad they included some of it,

(16:20):
but he but Frank Herbert went somuch further.
He was real fucked up about hisoh yeah about women in his
books for sure.
Just scratching the surface ofthe of how much he hated and and
wanted to fuck all the women.

Ryan Baron North (16:36):
Yeah, you know , and he well.
With that being said, I feellike we're there.
We're touching on some prettyheavy shit.
Now I think we've arrived.

James Crosslin (16:47):
Oh yeah, we are on the golden.
The sleeper has awakened.

Ryan Baron North (16:52):
The sleeper has awakened.
It's time for our last go atthis, so he is the quiz.

James Crosslin (16:59):
I had an act.

Ryan Baron North (17:02):
She was creepy .

James Crosslin (17:04):
She was.
She was really good too.
I thought I thought they shotAlia so well.

Ryan Baron North (17:09):
Well, here's to Alia.
You definitely stayed with usin that fever dream of a fucking
movie.

James Crosslin (17:17):
Cheers.
Oh my God, all right, I love, Ilove the Reverend mother.
She's an abomination.

Ryan Baron North (17:30):
She got blasted back so much in that
movie.
She was always getting blasted.

James Crosslin (17:37):
Reverend mother was a.
She really hammed it up, shehammed it.

Ryan Baron North (17:41):
Sometimes I liked it.

James Crosslin (17:42):
Sometimes I thought it was, I thought she
was a flat yeah.
When she was on it.
She was on it.

Ryan Baron North (17:49):
Yeah, for sure , for sure.
All right, so we're on thegolden path and we took a little
extra just for the trip.
Your enlightened thoughts,james.
What do you got?

James Crosslin (17:59):
So I think my enlightened thoughts, I think I
think this concept hits betterwhen you're inebriated.
So I want to talk a little bitabout where this movie failed
and I think the way it failed.
You know obviously the internalmonologues, right.
There was so much inner voiceshit and it was mostly

(18:26):
exposition.
I wrote down here a few thingsthat I found very funny about
the internal monologues was.
One of them was Lato.
Where are you, jessica?
Just thinking.
Oh yeah, lato, where are you?
And it's like she could havejust said that, or she could
have just had pleading eyes,something like that.

(18:47):
Like it was so easy when, whenFade Sting was like I wish, I
wish it was Paul on this tablein his mind.
Yeah, instead of just saying aword, just saying it yeah.
Or like teasing, you know,taunting Lato or something, the
inner monologue shit was wild.

(19:09):
Well, that was bad, oh good.

Ryan Baron North (19:12):
Well, on that point I will say that Dune 1984
brought us, you know, perhapsthe most Zack, snyderian bit of
fucking exposition I've everseen.
Well, yeah, and then thebeginning when Princess Erlan is
explaining where the fuck weare right now, fades out and

(19:36):
then fades back in to say, oh, Ialmost forgot.

James Crosslin (19:43):
I'm like what the fuck are you talking about?
You were talking to me.

Ryan Baron North (19:50):
You got the script.
How could?
You forget that was.
That was fucking mind boggling.
I had no problem with her faceon the screen.
I will say that.

James Crosslin (20:05):
It was just that you learned right then that
this was an off the cuff kind oflike.
She didn't plan this at all.
She was like all right, we'restarting a movie, let's do it.

Ryan Baron North (20:17):
I got some shit to say about Paul.
Yeah, we're married, but here'sthe uncut shit.
Why?
Why would they know where inHerbert's book was there a
fucking segment that said oh, Ialmost forgot to tell you about

(20:38):
this shit, but, dude, you're theone doing the drafts, man,
you're the one who's editing.
You could just not forgetanymore.

James Crosslin (20:48):
Yeah, it's really like.
It kind of like sums up thismovie, as a lot of things were
in afterthought.

Ryan Baron North (20:56):
You didn't have to do this, oh yeah.

James Crosslin (20:59):
But it was absolutely wild, I have to
assume, or I have to assume theinner monologue was also like
could have also been producernotes, I don't know, it's so
hard to tell.

Ryan Baron North (21:11):
Oh, he's just been fucking bullshit to save
his face.

James Crosslin (21:15):
Well, I, I, I'm not going to go back and read
fucking Dune right now, likethat's.
It was too much on my plate tolike watch this movie, then go
back and read it.

Ryan Baron North (21:23):
Oh, yeah, but.

James Crosslin (21:24):
I assume that a lot.
There is a lot of innermonologue stuff in the book.

Ryan Baron North (21:28):
There is, there is.
I did do, I did flip through.

James Crosslin (21:32):
And that's the thing.
So here's the core of what Iwas getting at is that the way
we consume media for books andmovies is inherently different.
Like it's you can he was.
He was trying to like straightadapt a book into a movie, but
the problem is like this movieis accessible in the way like a

(21:56):
dictionary is accessible.

Ryan Baron North (21:58):
It's like, yeah, you can Is there.

James Crosslin (22:01):
It is there and you can open to like any word,
but there's a reason peopledon't fucking read it in order
and when you do, it's anightmare.
And Frank Herbert's book waskind of like that.
And the thing about a book isthat you can stop after a
paragraph and kind of take abreak and think about it like,

(22:23):
oh, you know the space guild,they, they take spice to help
them predict the future.
That's what keeps intergalactictravel going.
What does that mean for thegreater universe?
What is it like to be?
You know, a person on a planetand essentially your ties to the
universe are controlled by thespacing guild.

(22:43):
You know, what does it mean to,to to be able to predict?
You know whether there'sobstacles in the path, like
houses.
It's precognition.
What's this life in societylike you know you?
have time to ruminate on thosethings when you're reading.
But in this fucking movie, likethings move so so fast, they

(23:04):
like tell you a bunch ofinformation.
It's like, OK, here's some moreinformation.
Ok, someone else's engine.
But you don't read a book likea movie.
You're not on a set set pacelike that and I think that's the
core of the problem.
When we talk about like badmovies and lazy movies and these
kinds of adaptations, is it's amovie is a different medium.

(23:26):
We are adaptation has to bedifferent.
Yes, yes.

Ryan Baron North (23:32):
And I so to your point.
I think that it was the mostclear that this has just become
nonsense in the final battles,where shit was just happening
and too much shit is happening,where you're just like, yeah,
it's working because it'ssupposed to, I guess yeah, and

(23:54):
then then Sting, got stung andthat was the end of it.
Yeah, and then it rained.

James Crosslin (24:01):
And he is the quits I had an eye.

Ryan Baron North (24:07):
Hey, that girl was giving in her all, but then
she's 50 now.
But the other thing I would sayis that I feel that New Dune
over corrected, so where?

James Crosslin (24:25):
you almost get no information.
It's just like shots of scenery.

Ryan Baron North (24:31):
Yeah, it's just like I'm just supposed to
be invested because Aquaman'skicking some ass and I, you know
I unpopular opinion, butCharlemagne, or whatever the
fuck his name is, it is a hugeturn off for me.
I ain't gonna lie so, but sowas 1984, paul.

James Crosslin (24:52):
I think so here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
Paul's a fucking loser, likethe later.
The later books essentiallyshow that.

Ryan Baron North (25:02):
And that's what I was trying to say get
into eventually there.
Was that what comes at the end.
So the director of the new Dunehas already stated that he's
looking at a trilogy andpotentially a TV series.

James Crosslin (25:18):
Yes, the barbelification of everything.

Ryan Baron North (25:21):
Yes, and when the reason Herbert went on
record saying that, hey, you'renot supposed to be rooting for
any of these fucking people,because when you start rooting
for these fucking people, youwind up with an immortal fat
bastard who controls the way youthink, feel and live.

James Crosslin (25:41):
Yeah, yeah.
Sometimes you get a leader likePaul who will do okay to like
pursue some of your needs andthen fuck off, yeah.

Ryan Baron North (25:55):
He's all up his own ass and that and like he
was trying to say that, hey,you are attracted to Lado and
Paul because of a relativecharisma and a general
perception versus a pedophiliapiece of shit.

(26:16):
But all that ever comes of itis a worm that controls your
life for the next 3000 years.

James Crosslin (26:25):
Yeah, yeah, it was very.
It was very much likefanaticism is bad.
Leaders are not great.

Ryan Baron North (26:34):
Yeah, and in a trilogy, in the new one
especially, where we're justhopping and skipping over every
little bit of information,that's definitely going to be
lost.
And I feel the only reason Dunehas any place jumping its story

(26:54):
into modern society is to warnus against authoritarianism.
And we're not doing that.
If we're, you know, justaquamanning the fuck out of it.

James Crosslin (27:06):
Yeah, it was a little too much visual so so
yeah, I think these are twoopposite sides of the filmmaking
spectrum.
I think that the new Dune couldhave done with more exposition
given to us.
It doesn't have to be peopletalking directly to our face,
you know it could be.
They did a few things in thenew Dune that I liked, where

(27:28):
like displays came up and kindof you learned things from
displays.
You learned things like liketheir technology right, some
kind of screen or something youlearned something from that or
they had like.
But it could have been more.
There were very few in the newDune.

Ryan Baron North (27:46):
Yes, yeah, well, I mean, there wasn't even
have his instrument.

James Crosslin (27:51):
You know I gurney didn't have, in the new
one, a 15 pound pug tucked intohis jacket as he ran into battle
, which I thought was very funny.
Patrick Stewart with a dog anda gun running out to face the
shot of car.

Ryan Baron North (28:11):
Easily the best part of original Dune was
when they made Stewart the longhaired bald guy.

James Crosslin (28:19):
It was so funny when he showed up with the long
hair, like, were you sosurprised at that first scene
where they meet again, he lookslike an offensive.
It's like an offensive mullionraider haircut.

Ryan Baron North (28:33):
Like I don't know what they were thinking he
looks insane.
He looks absolutely insane.
Patrick Stewart man.

James Crosslin (28:42):
Jesus, just shave it.
You gotta have a knife, yougotta be able to just be able to
cut it.
They have future knives.

Ryan Baron North (28:50):
They have future knives and he decided, no
, no, I am going to let thisshit out.

James Crosslin (29:00):
And you know it's great in the desert.
A bunch of hair on your neck,best feeling when it's hot out.

Ryan Baron North (29:09):
Oh yeah, and he's just sweating the fuck out
of it.
Yeah, no, yeah.
That was also not the weirdestchoice by by old dude, but
definitely up there.

James Crosslin (29:20):
Definitely they didn't show the.
They didn't show the pug again.
I'm assuming the pug died.

Ryan Baron North (29:26):
My assumption and then the director is just
like we have too much extra inthis.
I cannot have you morning thepug to Patrick Stewart.

James Crosslin (29:39):
Patrick Stewart wasn't grooming because the dog
died, and that's how.
That's why his hair was allthrough.

Ryan Baron North (29:45):
Yeah, he had no hope anymore.
Yeah, there it is.
There you have it, and I thinkthen it's time to move into the
third portion of this.
It's time to get into our whatifs, so welcome to the what ifs
everybody.
It's time.
Welcome to the what ifseverybody.
So in this portion of it, we'regonna we're gonna insert some
shit into Dune.

(30:05):
We're going to either insertour particular drug of choice
into Dune or we're going toinsert ourselves and we're going
to see what happens.
So, james, what happens in aDune world where James is there
too?

James Crosslin (30:25):
Man.
So one part that I absolutelyloved from this version of Dune
was the scene where they get onthe worm, right when Paul and
Stilgar get on the worm.

Ryan Baron North (30:41):
And they're back to fuck.

James Crosslin (30:43):
The triumphant like guitar.
It was like a traffic guitar.

Ryan Baron North (30:46):
We're rocking out.

James Crosslin (30:49):
And he had the reins and he was like looking
back and Stilgar like this isfucking rad, and Stilgar's like
yeah, this is rad, and I would.
I would.
What I would do is try tocapture that moment and try to
apply it to every othersituation and really I think
that could have saved this movie.
They didn't.

(31:09):
There was no inner monologue.
It was like music and it wassight and it was like
expressions and I was like Ithought it was great.
I thought it was great.
I want more of it.
I would have done that in everysituation.
When Paul like when Paulcatches the hunter seeker and he

(31:31):
crushes it like the guitar,like goes to crushes and he
gives them like a knowing looklike it's fucking rad.
Right, it was rad as shit.
Well, yeah, what she did wasrad.

Ryan Baron North (31:44):
That was.
Oh, I'm glad you brought thatparticular scene up, because I
had, right before we got on airhere, I put it back on and I was
just sort of flipping throughit and I didn't wind up stopping
at that.
That fucking scene it was so,it was so wild, oh my God.

(32:06):
It was this random moment inthe movie where they're like,
hey, it's still the 80s, allright, let's fucking do this.
We're on a.
We're on a fucking worm.
The wind is in my hair.
There is definitely somehomosexual undertones coursing

(32:26):
through this, and I'm just readyto.

James Crosslin (32:30):
It's bro love man.

Ryan Baron North (32:32):
Ready to let it rip.
I mean, we're talking aboutthat period in time when music
videos was just the dudesbanging it out long hair in a
factory, and now we're on top ofa worm.
That was like holy shit, Iforgot this was in the 80s and
not.

(32:52):
Oh, that was crazy.
So I guess with me I woulddefinitely insert myself into
Paul's role, but I'd bring alongMeatloaf just to he's fucking
rocking out on the guitar backthere and he gives me the thumbs

(33:13):
up whenever I'm doing somethingreally cool.
But then for me, as Paul,though I so, just in the terms
of the 1984 film, insertingmyself into that film with Chani
, there was no.

(33:33):
They spent the whole fuckingmovie on exposition but they
never showed me or even told mewhy he was into her.

James Crosslin (33:45):
That would be If you dreamed about a pretty
woman and then you met her inreal life.
You'd be like what the fuck?
I'm really into you.

Ryan Baron North (33:59):
Honestly, I would be all over the princess
and I would just fucking divehead first into imperialism and
just see where this takes me andI'd look over my shoulder to
make sure that Meatloaf wasstill fucking rocking out and

(34:21):
I'd be like yo.
She is definitely a gorgeouswoman and she explains a lot.
She lets me know where I'm atand even when she forgets where
she's at, she comes back andreminds me.
And so, yeah, I'd be Paul, butI'd be more all over Princess
Earl for sure.

James Crosslin (34:41):
Well, Paul gets to be Spoilers for Dune Messiah.
He does end up married to her.

Ryan Baron North (34:49):
So I mean and she gets really mad that he
refuses to lie with her, no, herefuses to impregnate her.
Yes, yes.

James Crosslin (35:02):
I think he can control whether he impregnates a
woman, because that's a benny,jesuit.
Power is controlling whetheryou get pregnant or not.
I think that he has thatcontrol over himself.

Ryan Baron North (35:14):
Yeah.
So for those of you who aregetting all on to Timothy
Charlemagne, remember that he isdefinitely manipulating both of
these women as hard as he'smanipulating the local economy.

James Crosslin (35:26):
Because you can see the past and the future, and
then this is a power dynamic,injustice what's happening.
Paul needs to be alone, totally.
He's the most powerful being inthe universe.
There's no way he can have arelationship with a person that
doesn't have a severe power ofbalance.

Ryan Baron North (35:47):
Yeah, but he still tries, he still tries he
is selfish.

James Crosslin (35:52):
Paul is a selfish person.

Ryan Baron North (35:54):
And that is what Herbert was trying to say.
Was that, hey, you were rootingfor this guy the whole fucking
time.
And look at him now, with allthis power, he's married to the
emperor's daughter, he's stillwith the woman he loves, he's
having his way with both of themin these situations, because he

(36:16):
can, and he is the one whorules you.
And that has just beencompletely lost on any attempt
to bring these books into film.
Was that?
Hey, paul ain't great.

James Crosslin (36:35):
Yeah, this guy's actions have effects on real
people and it's not just thestory of a great man.
I think it's a problem with ourculture.
Really, is this myth of thegreat man and how their choices
are really the only way greatthings happen?
And it's like fuck.

(36:56):
That's kind of like what we'redealing with.
Of course, people are going tomisinterpret it.

Ryan Baron North (37:01):
Yeah, no, it's especially sad because, if you
like, taking all theLovecraftian character flaws out
of her.
He was literally just trying towarn you about politics.

(37:23):
Politics.
He was trying to warn you andthen every time we try and adapt
it, we completely ignore themoral grayness between these
authoritarians.
And if you go further and youread spoiler alerts, everybody.
Paul's son becomes a giantdictator worm and there's an

(37:46):
entire book about a clone ofDuncan and his sex slave teaming
up to kill him.

James Crosslin (37:59):
I wonder if Jason Momoa is going to come
back for that one yeah, he's gotto or they're going to have to
like AI create them.

Ryan Baron North (38:07):
They got to do something, because also in that
book there is a scene where sojust for the sake of bringing
you guys into this where JasonMomoa Duncan, idaho, is climbing
a ridge so hard.
He is climbing a ridge sofucking hard that a woman, a

(38:31):
warrior woman who has beenbrought up with women, who has
done nothing but train withwomen and protect slug Nazi, who
secretly wants people torealize that he's the bad guy
she sees him climbing this ridgeso fucking hard that she comes.

James Crosslin (38:54):
It's wild.
Frank Herbert like really wrotesome crazy shit.
Like I said, spitting aspitting spitting on a bound
woman's face for sexual pleasureis very tame for Frank Herbert.

Ryan Baron North (39:08):
Very tame, very fucking tame.
It's.
It's holy shit, it's insane.
It's insane.
But movie adaptations theydon't know whether to cover some
random woman who's only beenwith women coming to Jason Momoa
or to make you see that TimothyCharlemagne is a bad guy too.

(39:31):
He just doesn't fuck boys Right.

James Crosslin (39:35):
And you know he's not.
He's going to send a bunch ofpeople of a different ethnicity
against his enemy to die.
He's doing his a wild concept.
He's going to create a cult forthese, for these native peoples
, and send them against hisenemies.

Ryan Baron North (39:56):
Yeah, yeah, that's.

James Crosslin (39:57):
Hooray Paul.

Ryan Baron North (40:00):
Yeah, go Paul.
He literally creates a cult andwatches them die, and the whole
time his visions are justfucking sucking his own dick.

James Crosslin (40:12):
It's amazing that all these visions work out
in your favor, Paul.

Ryan Baron North (40:16):
Yeah, that's pretty crazy, ain't it?
So then, just to bring it backto the final what-if here,
delving into that portion of it,I would say you bring me into
it.
Jokes aside, I'm just gonnakill Paul, I'm gonna wait for
him to kill Sting and then I'mgonna just murder the room.

(40:42):
This room here at the end ofDune 1 needs to fucking die.
The emperors gotta go, sting'sgotta go, paul's gotta go,
jessica's gotta go, they allgotta go.
And yeah, that's my what-if.
Right there, you got a finalwhat-if, chint.

James Crosslin (41:07):
I would have just rode into the sunset with
Stilgar.
That's how it would have ended,is Stilgar and I just would
have gone off together and livedon the top of a worm?
A beautiful life on this, onShia Luz back.

Ryan Baron North (41:26):
With those intents.
Just you looking over yourshoulder back at him and he's
just so fucking proud of you.

James Crosslin (41:33):
We would get baby-burdened spice directly
from Shia Luz's mouth every day.

Ryan Baron North (41:42):
Oh my god so I'm bathing in the blood of the
Imperium and I'm just lookingout at the desert going, you
know he's living his best life.
I can't help but be happy forhim.

James Crosslin (41:58):
Quiet, quiet, desert life.

Ryan Baron North (42:01):
Me and Stilgar .

James Crosslin (42:06):
All right, so final notes that I didn't get
around to that.
I wrote down the way UA saysthe tooth, the tooth, the tooth.
Very funny fucking.
It had me cracking up Hilarious.

(42:26):
Let me see.

Ryan Baron North (42:29):
Like if this was done by Monty Python or, you
know, Mel Brooks nail on afucking kill there.

James Crosslin (42:39):
The tooth.
Also, I wrote down sweet cubes.
That was the only just sweetcubes.
I think it was about theirshield generators, sweet cubes.
And then I said I wrotesomewhere else sweet dive roll.

(43:01):
I did not write what it wasreferencing, I just wrote sweet
dive roll.
I assume it was like the HunterSeeker or something.

Ryan Baron North (43:10):
So sweet cubes would have been the best thing
Paul could have said during thatguitar scene.
Oh shit.

James Crosslin (43:24):
Oh man, I also wrote.
I'm grateful that when theshelf of weirding modules is
destroyed, we didn't have towatch them blow up one by one,
because if you watch some ofthese older movies like, they'll
literally do like.
I watched the original Italianjob recently because it's like
oh, it's a classic, whateverit's got, it's got Michael Cain,

(43:45):
you know it's a classic.
I had to watch them do likethey broke windows.
I had to watch them break like15 windows.
It's individually without it'slike it's like I get it, I
fucking get it.
Maybe.
Maybe at the time they werelike look how great our
production is, look how manywindows we can break.

(44:06):
It's so action-y.
But I like watch them breaklike 15 windows in a row.
It was so boring.

Ryan Baron North (44:10):
And bringing it back around to Michael Cain
and Muppet Grasmus Carroll.
It was not Michael Cain's fault.

James Crosslin (44:18):
But I do want to say that that was a little bit
of directorial competence.
I think that when we watch ournext one that I'm trying to get
you to watch I don't know if youdid already Total recall is
coming up next.
Yeah, they, they do thisexplosion thing.
Watch out for it.
They do like a thing where youwatch several explosions, but
it's a it's, it's right in themidway point where it's not like

(44:39):
okay, this is a fast movie,action movie, and not that it's
like wow, they really don'tunderstand that you don't show
an explosion.
It's like that perfect areawhere it's satire.

Ryan Baron North (44:50):
And I love it.
I'm excited to watch it.
It's on HBO Max right.
Yes, I think so you did that,then I'm good to go, or pair
them out.
I'll yank that out, or Iprobably won't, but we're 45 and
50 seconds in, so well, thereyou have it, folks.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
We've been talking Dune here.

(45:10):
Remember to always, you know,check the message of the author
before you insert the movie intoyourself.
Paul is a bad guy.

James Crosslin (45:20):
He is.
And but do remember, fear isthe mind killer.

Ryan Baron North (45:26):
Yes, yeah, and if you take anything away from
this, please remember, the fearis the mind killer.
Next week we're going to behitting a total recall.
That's the original, with shortto nager, not the really sexy
one with Kate Beckinsale andJessica B.

James Crosslin (45:41):
You forgot someone I don't know.

Ryan Baron North (45:47):
Matthew Perry was in that one, I think I don't
remember yeah.

James Crosslin (45:52):
It didn't have.
It didn't have very, very sexywomen in it and it really
distracted from, like the comedy.

Ryan Baron North (45:59):
Oh, my God.

James Crosslin (46:00):
It was supposed to be campy and they made it
wait.
Holy shit.

Ryan Baron North (46:04):
It was so fucking sexy when, when Kate
Beckinsale slides across thattable and attacks him with her
vagina, I was like I'd be a deadman.
That's like that's the end forme.
I'd be like, kate, whateverlife you wanted me to live, I'm
in, I'm fucking in.
Yeah.
So, anyway, end of the episode.
There you go.

(46:24):
There you have it, folks.
Thank you so much for listening.
Next week, total recall, ifyou're seeing us on YouTube.
Thanks for finding the join inthe party.
Like us everywhere, please.
It gets our numbers up.
You know how it goes.
I promise we'll never reallybombard you with ads, even when
we're big and over our heads.
So yeah, Bye.

James Crosslin (46:42):
Happy Mooddeep to you.
Happy Mooddeep to you as well.
Happy Mooddeep to you as well.
Happy Mooddeep to you as well.

Ryan Baron North (46:46):
Happy Mooddeep to you as well.
Happy Mooddeep to you as well.
Happy Mooddeep to you as well.
And I will say Jessica in thenew one was better than Jessica
in the old one.
Last thought there, it is Okay,all right.
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