Its "Huckleberry": High n' Dry Takes on Tombstone

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Ever found yourself cheering for a hero who’s not so heroic? We kick off this episode of the "High and Dry Podcast" with a toast to confusion and camaraderie, reminiscing about "Greg the Bunny" and how humor has aged over time. Amid the sweltering heatwave stories, we raise our glasses (and joints) to the timeless Western, "Tombstone." Dive into our initial impressions while we indulge in Acapulco Gold, strawberry shortcake resin, and Kentucky straight bourbon. Kurt Russell's mustache? Worth every puff and sip.

Get ready for a no-holds-barred critique of "Tombstone," where we dissect everything from its pacing quirks to its mixed bag of acting performances. Val Kilmer’s Doc Holliday is a standout, while Bill Paxton didn’t quite hit the mark. We weigh in on the film’s traditional score and its impact on the viewing experience. Our unique blend of technical insights and personal takes offers a fresh perspective on this star-studded Western. And let's be honest, sometimes nostalgia gets in the way, but we’re here to keep it real.

As we shift gears, our conversation gets deeper, exploring the romanticization of flawed heroes like Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday. The episode wraps up with a sardonic reflection on heroism, morality, and those iconic cowboy stories that have shaped our cultural landscape. From the complexities of regret to the impractical yet legendary imagery of cowboys, we tackle it all with humor and honesty. Tune in for an engaging mix of critique, nostalgia, and thought-provoking discussions that will leave you pondering the true nature of heroism.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, I know that shit.
We didn't start yet.
Fuck, I wasted it.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
James, I am rolling.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Or is this the test?
Are we testing?
No, this is it no?

Speaker 2 (00:11):
this is it no.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
This is it, you nailed it.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Yeah, we're doing just fine, Okay, well, hey,
everyone, welcome to High andDry Podcast, the only podcast
keeping alive the fandom of Gregthe Bunny a high and dry
podcast, the only podcastkeeping alive the fandom of greg
the bunny.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
You know, I when in the past when we watched those
greg the bunnies they were a bitfunny but man, were they hard
on edgy humor that did not age.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Well, yeah, oh yeah, without a doubt.
Without a doubt, and that'swhat makes this podcast so
difficult uh, to come back toevery fucking day.
Um, but you know, we promised,uh, we promised seth green that
uh, we were.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
We were in his corner .
Yeah, the thing is is that likethere was, just the rules were
very gray.
Back in the 90s, 80s, it was uh.
Yeah, the morality was lackingin those times.
So when you're coming back tohim now, you're like yeah, I
might have laughed at thatbefore, I'm not really laughing
now, but we did shit for shockvalue.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Well, uh, hey, out there my thick kings.
I'm your host, ryan baron northwith me, as always, james
crossland, luke.
Um guys, how's this going?

Speaker 1 (01:24):
uh, things are going okay, it's.
Uh, it's hot as balls incalifornia, I'm sure, but it's
hot everywhere, like record heatacross the country we don't
have an air.
We don't have an airconditioner because, like uh
always, it's always been uh,people near the coast don't need
one is what I've always heardand so when it gets to like 80

(01:45):
or so, we start to suffer, butthe temperature doesn't get much
higher than like 83 or so onSan Diego coast, so it's not
horrendous.
I know people are going throughmuch worse.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Oh, there you go.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
It feels like 105 in Orlando right now.
Damn yeah, it is warm.
I've got to say I actually wasgolfing on Sunday and I thought
I had heat poisoning.
I felt sick afterwards.
It was so hot outside.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Well, so for those of you joining us for the first
time, we are a.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
How are you, Brian?
Yeah, I'm skipped watching onyou really uh tried to skip over
that I have to say I'm as happyas the next man I guess who's
the next man?

Speaker 2 (02:40):
yeah, that's billy zane you know, I wonder if he's
doing okay, uh he was actuallyjust recently in a music video
and he fucking killed it.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
But oh, did he.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Oh, that's great I'll have to pull that up, but uh,
so anyway, this is those of usjoining us for the first time.
I'm doing fine, we?
I?
Said I'm fine, I'm fine, okay.
So we're a comedy podcast,philosophy, all that kind of fun
stuff, but we, today we'regoing to be breaking down the

(03:14):
film Tombstone, that's the onefeaturing Val Kilmer, and
fucking.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Kurt Russell Kurt.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
Russell Bill Paxton.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
Sam Sam.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Elliott, sam Elliott, uh, fucking, uh.
I even saw Sling Blade was inthere um uh, stephen Lang, billy
uh.
Billy, uh, billy Joel.
Bob Thornton, bob Thornton, bobThornton.
There it is Michael Rooker.
I do not know the act of thatone.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Michael Rooker was what's his name?
Shandu, or one of those peoplein Gardens of the Galaxy?
He was the blue guy.
Yeah, shandu, michael Rooker isgreat.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
He was in the zombie TV show too.
We're going to break this downin a three part method.
Part one we're going to diveinto our normal thoughts on the
film off the cuff, and we'realso going to rate this movie
with Luke's patented method.
Part two we're going to getinto our more deep thoughts.
We're going to think hard aboutthis film and what it really
means.
And in part three, we're goingto do a what if?
Where we insert ourselves,drugs and our alcohol into the

(04:23):
film, and what makes it sospecial, so memorable and just
so amazing, um, is we're goingto be doing it drunk and or high
.
So, uh, james, uh, what are yousmoking this week?

Speaker 1 (04:34):
uh, this week I've got a little bit of uh, of that
same acapulco gold, but thistime I've mixed in the keef
that's been gathering in myreservoir of many different
strains, and so I call this keeffairy dust.
And so I'll be having, or maybeI should call it tombstone sand

(04:58):
or something, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
Tombstone sandy dust.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
Blood in the sand.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
Or Billy Zane's eye glitter oh, there we go.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah, I got some billy zane's eye glitter on top
of my acapulco.
That's the good stuff luke.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
What about yourself?
What do you bring into thetable?

Speaker 1 (05:17):
I have a strawberry shortcake resin um little
penjamin today so it's been.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
It's been very nice.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, I've liked it quite a bit, though it's good.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Lovely, all right.
And I will be joining you thistime around here with a Kentucky
straight bourbon, seven yearsold, by the fine folks at Heaven
Hill.
It's a hundred horsepower, 50%.
We'll see how it goes.
And then I'm also on the secondtoast.
I'm going to turn that into alovely mixed beverage, do you

(05:49):
know?

Speaker 1 (05:49):
what kind of mixed beverage I do.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
I have some plans and I'll walk you through what.
I got here, so here's our firstone.
First toast, first hit.
This one goes out to the film,to Tombstone, to Tombstone.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
Cheers For Kurt Russell's mustache.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
Oh wow, that was fantastic, very smooth.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Excuse me.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
I enjoyed that a lot.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
I wasn't able to maintain my composure.
No, I held it togetherperfectly.
I definitely was.
I was good, I'm struggling.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
Well, for this second round, I've made something a
little special here.
So what I have?
You take your cocktail shaker.
I put in two ounces of ourHeaven Hill, one ounce of our
simple syrup and an entire lemon.
We're going to shake that upreal quick, I'm going to pour
that, and so at this point, whatI have basically is a pretty
standard whiskey sour, but whatI'm also going to add is a hint

(06:59):
of seven deadly sins, zinfandel,to give it some of that
tombstone blood.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah, but you also need to, just at the very end,
take out your sweaty ball sackand dip it gently, so you can
get the real taste of the OldWest Without it, sweaty ball
sack, it's a necessaryingredient.
Sweaty genitals in general,like that's probably just what
the wild west smelled, like allthe time.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
Oh yeah, so I got like a blood on the sand thing
going on.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
Oh yeah, I have to say it does look cool you did a
good job doing the split drink.
Those are.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
Those can be tough there's a little something for
you and we'll.
I'll even give it a little stir, because I'm going to be
choking this down, but when youpick your wine, you want
something fruity to offset thatheaven hill, so, anyway, all
right.
So our second one.
This one goes out to our newestlisteners, this one goes out to
Berlin, germany.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Ooh, that's kind of cool, reaching all the way out
to Germany.
Cheers, see, and's kind of cool.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
Reaching all the way out to Germany.
Cheers, see, and they came on.
Our last episode, our firstepisode that came out.
It actually came out.
It'll come out a week beforethis one drops, so it's been out
for a week by the time you'rehearing this, and the
transcripts are up.
And we bashed the Nazis reallyhard on that last one and uh odd

(08:27):
that they were.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
That was the one that they're like.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
Yep, well, germany has done a lot to turn their
image around yes, they have 100,oh 100 100 I'm pretty sure they
just that was like the germangovernment, just cruising
through search engines makingsure there's no fucking, you
know insults, being lobbed theirway and what?

Speaker 1 (08:48):
yeah, it's been a lot easier to be like that, though,
since grandpa died before thatit was real tough yeah we just
have this dark secret in therocking chair.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Just throw a blanket over him like he's a parrot
ignore that, ignore that yeah,he said some, some shit.
Right there, you say the righttwo words and he's right out of
the rocking chair like a sleeperagent, oh all right, so time
for our third toast, our thirdhit.
Um, let's see.

(09:23):
This one goes out to well.
What should it be, gentlemen?

Speaker 1 (09:27):
Big burly mustaches.
That's what it's going out to.
Because, god damn, that's whatmade me grow up and want a
mustache was tombstone mustaches.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
Yeah, your mustache would fit in, Luke for sure.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
I've been growing.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
I'm inspired by tombstone Cheers, cheers.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Inspired by Tombstone cheers, cheers, cheers this is
delicious, by the way, I'm gonna.
What would you?

Speaker 1 (09:55):
rate the drink out of five it's.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
I mean, it's not low calorie.
That's why I generally juststick to hard liquor, but it is,
yeah, the Zinfandel paired withthe Heaven Hill immaculately.
I would definitely give this a4.7.
That's pretty good.
I have to say, this thing'sdangerous.
Yeah, the rewatchability onthis bad boy.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
It's unfortunately too high and, uh, it'll put you
pass out on the floor by the end.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
Oh, yeah, no, that'll have you dancing on tables, no,
in no time.
So let's dive into it before.
Uh, uh, you know it goes to ourheads.
So, um, so luke, I'd like topass this, this first portion of
off to you so you can can goover what we're introducing now
as our new method of rating thefilms that come through high and

(10:49):
dry.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah.
So in the first episode I wason, which was Starship Troopers,
I always have rated movies witha certain criteria, but I
decided to kind of like refinethat a little bit, I feel like
make it a little bit morefriendly for the podcast.
So the way that we are going torate the movies are four
categories, which is acting,cinematography, animation and

(11:14):
score as a whole, so thesoundtrack and just the camera
work, or the animation Story,which is just how did that?
What did it was a good story.
Did they tell you a story?
Did you get to have a goodsymmetry?
Did it make sense?
Was it realistic or was it justlike, oh my God, that's so bad.
And then I personally think themost important, rewatch ability,

(11:37):
which is like, could you put iton again?
Because my opinion, for a movieto truly be good, you have to
at least want to watch it morethan once, like, if you watch it
, get out of it and go, ah, Ican't watch that again.
I just don't find it to be agood movie.
Can it be a good film?
And can it be a work of art andcan it be beautiful?

(11:58):
Yes, do not disagree, butrewatchability for me is like
that's a top category.
So that's how we're going tobreak it down total up the score
and then give it an average andsee.
See what each of us rated.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
I like it.
Well, let's dive on in.
Well, James, you have theparameters.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
You want to kick this off with your sober thoughts?
Yeah, sure, I you know.
I just want to preface bysaying you know you both are
great guys and I know that youguys may have liked this movie,
but I just wanted to prepare youbecause I'm going to tell you
about how this film is a blight,not just on westerns, but on

(12:38):
cinema and the world as a whole.
No, I'm kidding, I thought itwas okay.
My general world as a whole.
No, I'm kidding, I, I thoughtit was.
I thought it was okay.
Um, okay, my, my generalthoughts on this movie were that
it was pretty okay.
Um, I, uh, I got bored and goton my phone a couple times okay
I felt, I felt like there weresome pacing issues with dialogue

(13:01):
.
So let's, so, let's, let me, letme do the the acting
cinematography animation score.
All one category is that.
Is that right?
Yeah, that's one category, wellacting is its own category.

Speaker 2 (13:10):
Acting is its own, and then it's cinematography
animation score.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
I didn't think the acting was great.
I thought the acting was allright.
I thought particularly Ithought the people who were
doing the most acting were valkilmer and Kurt Russell and I
felt like everyone else was justkind of there reading lines.
Yes, so that doesn't get agreat score for me.
Is this on a numbering scale,do I?

Speaker 2 (13:36):
have to get a scale, yeah, one through five.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
One through five Like three Cinematography, animation
and score.
The animation on this movie wasfantastic it was like titan ae
all over there.
I can't fault the animation.
I would say, like thecinematography, animation are
kind of like interchangeable.

(13:58):
For animated movies, you'd ratethe animation and for, like
film movies, you, you write thecinematography Right.
Got it Okay, okay.
So the cinematography on thismovie was pretty good they I.
I watched some other moviesrecently Like, okay, I have any
of you seen cutthroat Island?
It's a.

(14:19):
It's an awful movie.
It's got Gina Davis, who I love.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
And so I was like as I was like.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
So I was like, let me check out this movie.
It was awful, and one of thereasons the cinematography was
awful in this movie was becausethey'd like hold they do like
mid shots a lot and not enoughfocusing on people's faces or
like lingering on people's facesafter they've said things for
too long and and stuff like that, and this movie did a pretty
good job.
I didn't feel any of thoseawkward things in cinematography

(14:48):
in this movie, but I alsodidn't see anything in the
cinematography that made methink, wow, this movie's got
great cinematographyrevolutionary.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, um.
So you know, like a four forcinematography.
I thought the score was good.
The score makes it even out toa four.
Uh, the story I thought thestory didn't have great pacing.
I thought that there wereseveral portions where we were
kind of waiting around forsomething to happen and it had.

(15:10):
One of the big things for thethat I had a problem with was
that it had like three endings.
It had like there were likemini bosses in this movie and
you're kind of not wrong.
There were like mini bosses andthat's not what I.
It's not a movie.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
The movie doesn't have mini bosses.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
I find it so funny because I, you know, I really am
glad you're giving thisunbiased opinion because, you
know, for me it's just like someof these things I probably
overlook.
But now that you say it I'mlike, really is there's like
you're like, oh sweet, they'redefeating the villain, oh no,
there's a bigger boss.
So I just thought that wasweird.

(16:01):
I thought that interrupted thepacing a little bit.
I felt like we were getting theclimax like three times and it
turned into this edging sessionwhere I had to like, come all
the way down first he had tolike wander into the house and
his wife is like I'm having anaddiction problem and he's like
I'm going to work, Not right now, he's like well, I'm actually.

(16:22):
I have a picnic scheduled withanother woman.
I have to go.
I'd rather go murder people.
I'd literally rather go back tobeing a peacekeeper, Like I said
I never would do again Thenhelp you with your addiction.
Truly a great husband, yeah.

(16:43):
So I mean, when it comes downto storytelling and pacing and
stuff, it's hard.
I give it like a three or afour.
I didn't hate it, it's a threepoint five.
I wasn't like the worst movieever.
I put it right in the middle.
Yeah, like a three.
And then rewatchability.
This gets like a one from me.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
I'm not a fan of rewatching this movie.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (17:07):
Fair but.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
I'm not a Western guy .

Speaker 2 (17:10):
I'm not a Western guy .
We have a three on acting fromJames.
What was your cinematographyscore?
One more time.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
I already got it out.
I got it tallied up.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
Oh, okay, so we got three, four, three, three and a
one, all right, uh.
Well, uh, luke, would you likeme to go next?
Yeah, go ahead, since you're,uh, you know, you're, uh, you're
reffing this bad boy.
So, um, yeah, diving in hereand I gotta move quick because
I've had a lot of whiskey.
Um, I'm rolling, um, so for me,the acting I I have to agree.

(17:46):
Um, I feel that at first I feelval kilmer fucking brought it.
Um, I I know he was doingsomething.
I I think val kilmer brought itum he.
He was like the, the brad pittwho fucking tried.
I give it to him for that.

(18:07):
So I thought he was amazing.
Kurt Russell, kurt Russelled.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
Yeah, he was Kurt Russell and I love Kurt Russell,
I love Kurt Russell.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
Fucking nailed it.
Bill Paxton dragged the sceneevery time he opened his fucking
mouth.
That's so true.
Every time he opened hisfucking mouth, and even when
they're just standing on thestreet and you see him just kind
of smiling to himself, billpaxton style, like so kurt
russell was kurt russell andbill paxton was bill paxton, and

(18:38):
I fucking hate bill paxton,yeah I don't know I I you know
most of bill paxton's roles.
I don't like him.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
I don't know Most of Bill Paxton's roles.
I don't like him, I just don't.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
He sucks.
He's always cast as like UntilTwister came, and even in
Twister he was a little sleazy.

Speaker 1 (19:00):
And not just a sleazy .
He's like a coward in the movie.
Yeah, like aliens In.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
Aliens, he was the bitch boy in the corner, yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
I also was.
His role was not great either,for me either, I agree.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
Sam Elliott just waggled his mustache and that
was fine.
He didn't piss me off when hewas on screen.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
He didn't do anything .
He really didn't do anything.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
No, he's just prepped for his Jeep and Marlboro
commercials.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
He was just there to tie Wyatt Earp to going back to
Lawmaker.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
That was his job.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
He was there because he was there in the real story.
He was there.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
As far as the bad guys, I have a note here that
said this is the most edgelordygroup guys.
I have a note here that saidthis is the most edge lordy
group of bandits.
I have yeah, for real.
So for acting, because of ValKilmer and Kurt Russell I give
it a 3.5.
If those two weren't in thisfilm, this would be whole

(20:01):
numbers, whole numbers.
Just do whole numbers you wantto do only wholes.
Okay, fair enough, that's finethe edge, lordy bandits, bring
it to a 3, alright.
So then for my cinematographyand score.
So I felt that the score was inline with traditional westerns.

(20:24):
So if you're into that, it was,it was in line with traditional
Westerns.
So if you're into that, it wasgreat, it was grand, it was well
composed, it was sometimesdistracting, you know, trying to
hear them over the swellingfucking horn section.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
You know, I have a thing to say about that, though.
So sound mixing has developed alot as an art over the past 25
years, where they're actuallydoing remixes of scores for home
viewing, where they change themix from the theater, and I
don't know if it was supercommon at this time.

(21:01):
And so I think this moviesuffered for it.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
I'm sure there's a special edition that we could
have checked out.
But um, the thick kings wholisten to this?
Um, they're watching hulu withcommercials.
All right, we can't.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
Uh, all right, we do what we can so um, they're,
they're watching this, they'rewatching tombstone on to be on
the Roku TV.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
So for, and then cinematography.
I felt that a lot of times ithad trouble finding its pacing.
Random events led to dancing atChristmas, and so that, yeah,
it was a little meandering, forsure.
And then here comes the bigboss, oh wait.
And so that, yeah, it was alittle meandering, for sure.
And then here comes the big boss, oh wait he's just so for, uh,
for cinematography and score, um, I give it a three.

(21:54):
Um, the story, I feel, um, I, Idid care about the characters,
especially Doc Holiday.
Um, I did enjoy, did enjoy, uh,watching them.
Um, the story, it was enoughthere to like, all right, we got
a beginning, middle end, uh, I,I'm here for the ride right on.

(22:16):
Um, I give it a four.
And then rewatch ability.
Um, I, just I just tore thisthing up rewatch ability.
I give it a five.
I mean, uh, it's a, it's a fundumb ass movie.
Um, I could pick at it andstill enjoy it.
I love watching val kilmershine.

(22:37):
I love kurt russell not destroya chess computer because he's
mad.
You know, I was good to go Likelet's pour one up and let's
watch Tombstone.
I'm down.
So there you have it.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
I really am enjoying your guys' perspectives because
I think I might have too muchnostalgia in this movie.
Potentially it's good.
I think that's the crutch, yeah, I think that's the crutch.

Speaker 2 (23:05):
Yeah, I think that's the crutch of tombstone.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
But there are people with this opinion as important
that that opinion is represented.
Yeah, that's fair, so all right.
So as far as my ratings go, sofor acting, I 100 agree that
there's a cut like a fewcharacters that pretty much
carry the fucking show.
I think that Johnny Ringo,billy, the Kid Wyatt Earp and

(23:34):
Doc Holliday are the fourcharacters who really are and
maybe the actress who kind oflike is flaunt like in the the
rest of them could have all beenshot at the okay corral and I
would have been okay, yeah, Ibarely remember wyatt herb's
brother's name, like that's howI'm like.

(23:54):
Okay, I don't see him.
I know bill paxton was billpaxton was morgan and I remember
them saying that name and I waslike, okay, now I dislike just
your fucking face enough thatI'm going to remember your name.
Yeah, I have to say, but Igenuinely think that Doc

(24:16):
Holliday Val Kilmer'sperformance alone carries this
movie so heavily for me.
Like his quotes are things thatI say in my everyday life, like
I.
Like his performance to me islike one of the best in film,
like I, in all honesty great hiscow like his cowboy role in
that.
That's my honest opinion.

(24:37):
I gave it a four.
I think val kilmer carries itthat heavily, um, so I did lead
acting a four, and not only forhim, because I think there's
other pieces of the puzzle thatdo fit well and it does mesh and
it works like as a as a cowboymovie in a western you don't
have to show me the math on that.
I yeah, I feel, I feel, yeah socinematography I think, very

(25:00):
good for its time.
I think it, you know it's a1993 movie, so came out in 1993,
being produced early, early 90s.
So I think like they do a verygood job with what they have
it's nothing revolutionary,though it's not going to be
groundbreaking.
It's like you're not like that.
Oh, wow, that camera angle,it's just standard western shit.

(25:21):
So I give it a three right inthe middle for for me, um, on
the cinema, the cinematography,the story is honestly not as
good as I.
I.
I agree with you guys in parts.
There's just parts that don'tseem to fit for the movie and
you're just kind of like okay,like yeah, sounds good, like

(25:44):
just like scenes where they justdon't fit into the puzzle and
you're just like I.
It leaves you very confusedsometimes, but overall I think
they save it because it does,like ryan said, at a beginning,
middle and end.
You do get that like, you dounderstand like that.
There is that besides the threeclimaxes which you know I only
want that on a friday night notnot when I'm watching Tombstone,

(26:05):
though Not when I'm watching.

Speaker 2 (26:08):
Tombstone.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
Without a doubt, without a doubt, but the story
it gets a three for me.
Yeah, it's more like I wouldprobably rate it closer to like
a 3.6 if I had to rate it.
But I don't know it doesn'tdeserve a four.
Can't do decimals.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
This is why we're.
That's what I said, but itdoesn't deserve a four, so I'm
gonna give it.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
I understand if we did decimals, we might as well
do a rating to 10.
Fair enough, you are right, youare right.
So then ten decimals out to thethird.
Well, you can't wait, it'sbetter to rate on stars, but
yeah, and then re-watchability.
Um, I give it a five too.
I don't.
I, I'm sorry.
I for me this movie.
I could watch it so much funonce a month and I would be
happy.
I'm not exaggerating.

(26:48):
I love this movie.
It might, it might be thenostalgia, it might be, but I do
think, as far as a western goesand I talk about this with my
dad who loves, loves westerns heeven like, gives it high praise
as a western.
He's like like tombstone is oneof the up there with any
western out there.
So I've got to say it's for me,it's a five, it's one I'm going
to put on, I'm going to show my, my nephews and nieces,

(27:11):
everyone.
I will show as many peopleTombstone as I possibly can and
spread it across, across acrossthe land.
All of your relatives are likedo we have to watch Tombstone
again of your relatives?

Speaker 2 (27:24):
are like do we have to watch tombstone again?
Like the, the younger girlslike, look, he's getting old.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
Okay, we only have to do this a few more years I
literally I convinced them it'sa christmas movie, just because
the very end of the very endlike it's a christmas movie.
If there's christmas, I don'tknow what to tell you you
motherfuckers want to watch DieHard.
Tombstone is the real Christmasmovie.
So yeah, it's a five for me.

(27:54):
So overall, I mean I you knowit gets a pretty solid score.
I don't think it's.
I do I'm not a moron I get it.
It's not.
It's not perfect.
It has its flaws, For I'm not amoron, I get it.
It's not perfect.
It has its flaws For Val Kilmeralone.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
I'm putting it on every year.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
at least I'm getting a tombstone watching.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
I like it.
What does that bring?
Our total two.
What does High and Dry give?

Speaker 1 (28:17):
Tombstone For three what did james have for his?
Because I had put them in thecalculator.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
James did three on acting, four on cinematography,
three on story and one onrewatchability.
Damn james listen.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
I don't like westerns , but I do.
I do want to say.
Something I didn't mentionduring my review was that I
loved the costumery.
I thought the costumes wasamazing.
The costumes really were good.
There are some movies that doshit costumes and I thought the
costumes were pretty great forthis one yeah, there was a lot

(28:59):
of pageantry in this movie therewas a lot of scene, entrances
of all characters, you knowwhere, where, yeah, where, where
the camera would be pulled outand you'd see them walk into a
room and there was a lot ofscene entrances of all
characters Fucking film thingyeah where the camera would be
pulled out and you'd see themwalk into a room and everyone
would turn their head and it'dbe like a display of their you
know whether they were this slim, you know kind of daunting

(29:19):
cowboy, you know like a predatoror like a woman and dancing
with her plumes and shit it wasso much pageantry in this movie.
When I did my um cowboy cosplay,I based it on some of the
tombstone outfits because I justliked that yeah, you killed it.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
You killed it for sure yeah they're.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
They're like uppity kind of like wearing like nice
dress clothes with like thecowboy attire, like I think that
just is such a clean look I andI did get it from and I agree
the way they dress them and andeverything is very well done.
Um, but the the total rating itaverages out to a three out of
five that I enjoyed ForTombstone which in life.

(30:08):
It's not bad for the time, anddon't get me wrong.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
I think it's fair too .
I think it's fair.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
I do.
If it got like a four or five,it's like you guys are lying to
yourselves.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
There's no way.
Like I said, I feel it speaksto the, uh, the veracity of our
method here.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
Um, I think I'm not.

Speaker 2 (30:32):
I wasn't out to get this movie no I just it didn't
resonate with me in ways that itdid, and luke's rating system
took that into account and stillgave this bitch a three.

Speaker 1 (30:44):
Yeah, which, and I in all honesty I'm happy with, and
that's coming from someonewho's gonna watch this every
year for the rest of his life.
So I I'm happy with the three.
That's good for a genre film, agenre film for, with three
different people who havedifferent kind of tastes and
stuff, for a genre film, that'sa great score.
And a western from 1993 couldbe rough in general, honestly,

(31:09):
that can get very.

Speaker 2 (31:11):
To move along to the second part, I could do that.
It's time to get onto thegolden path and discuss the
inner workings of this film,what it truly means.
In order to do that, though,it's time to line them up one
final time.
Line up your shots, your hits.
Here we go.
This is the last one of theepisode.
If you're, uh, listening tothis on the way to work, go
ahead, pull over.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
We're responsible hit , get out your flask and you're
not ask and or ball.
Yeah, we don't do the likeinside the pocket of the suit,
like people don don't do thatanymore.
Now it's like a specialunderwear that has, like the
like in between the lining is apouch.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
And yeah, I love some good dick whiskey, some good
dick whiskey.
Here's the dick whiskey.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
Cheers, the taste of the old West Mmm, the taste of
the old West.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
Hmm, I got to say heaven Hill still super smooth
even on my fifth ounce.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
Now go slower.
We still have a lot of podcaststo do four and a half, awesome,
all right.

Speaker 2 (32:28):
So it's time to get into our second portion here.
Um, acting like I can't controlmy fifth ounce.
It's time to get on the goldenpath.
So your deep inner thoughtswhat this movie meant, how does
it affect our culture bring usthere.
Uh, james, you want to kick itup ah, sure.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
So I really liked this, the opening tone of the
movie, uh, with sam elliott'snarration, and I loved that they
said it.
Like essentially what they weretelling us was that, uh, you
know, capitalists were makinglittle fortresses and and the
problem was that there were abunch of robbers and crime and,

(33:09):
like the, problem.
Yeah, and it was like bandits,yeah Right, but.
But essentially it was like anindictment of like, uh, uh, it
was like.
It was like essentially callingthe wild west a feudalist kind
of system where the rich, oh I,have like titles of nobility by
creating their own little townswhere everybody has to like live

(33:31):
under whatever conditions aredictated, and I thought that
that was really interesting anddid set a tone for the film that
I enjoyed.
It made me wonder why the fuckwyderp was moving there if he
wanted to retire.
I don't think that that wasnecessarily well thought out.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
He, right away, is like yeah, I'll rent that place
out.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
Yep, yes please, one rent, please.
Yes, sir, I would like.
Meanwhile now they have tocheck your credit, get six
paychecks, everything, and thenyou got to pay $400 to apply to
live here.
Yeah, meanwhile, why everyonewalks into town.
He's like one rent, please.
Thank you very much I'll eventhrow in the cleaning he didn't

(34:17):
even have to go into an officeto find it.
He came to him and was like hey, how about a place to live
there, like what I wish?

Speaker 2 (34:26):
that that would be.
Yeah, that would be something,but I still hate the fact that
he had a rent.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
But anyway, that is crazy.
He'll always be ruled by hislandlord, um but and then he
started then, and then he's likeretiring to this town.
He's like I just want quiet.
You know it's, it's that.
It's like it's like aparadoxical character was yes,
yes and I think, I think thatthis is emblematic of a lot of

(34:54):
westerns.
They have this paradoxicalcharacter and I think that a lot
of american dads, uh, lovewesterns and love, yeah, movies
like this.
Because of this character, theprotagonist, oh sorry go ahead.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
Ryan, did you have something to say?
Well, just on that point.
My first two notes is peacefullife.
With my gun, it always worksand then um, it was, uh god, I
hate violence.
I'm just so damn good at it.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
Yeah, exactly, and I made some notes like that too.
He's empathetic but stern andrighteous but practical and
regretful but resolute, andstriving for peace but capable
of brutality.
It's like the film is making areally big effort to say that
the hero isn't perfect and it'snot in a way that's just like

(35:49):
you know, everybody's notperfect.
It's trying, it's.
It's in a way that's like thisguy's bad, his imperfect parts
are what make him perfect, andit's really I think it's kind of
a gross thing to say, and Ithink that a lot of american
dads love it, because they'repieces of shit and essentially

(36:11):
it's like, and it's like, uh,you know, you remember when, uh,
wyatt erp was a piece of shitbut he was right.
He was right and and you knowhe's also got these other sides
to him he danced with the lady.
It's similar to, you know, thecharacter Dexter, where he's
literally a serial killer, butthey made it.

(36:31):
He's killing bad people.
So you like him and I have tosay I watch it and I'm like when
he's getting caught, I'm like,fuck man, dexter's getting
caught.
I hate this now and it's like Ishouldn't be rooting for him
technically, you reallyshouldn't.
It's the same concept they make,like this guy who's like, yes,
he is a murderer and he is kindof just laying justice his way,

(36:52):
but he also is a nice guy.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
The dude rolls into town, enforces himself on the
take of a fucking gambling hall,and then what?
We're just supposed to do itbecause, well, well, he used
righteousness, seniority, onbilly bob thornton, who honestly
looked like they were the sameage.
Um right, yeah and uh.

(37:15):
So just, he did it with suchgusto that uh no it was the
right thing to do.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
It was the right thing to do just put this man
out of his job, just walked intotown, was like mine, now get
fucked okay, yeah, but I think Ithink I think the biggest
problem of that for me was thatmen who have all the flaws can
can, can be like well, his flawsare like mine and he had a big

(37:41):
redemptive moment, and so theycan always.
They're like able to be like itdoesn't matter if I'm a piece of
shit all the time, I can have aredemptive moment.
My moment just hasn't come yetand they like hide in this
shadow that's been built forthem on the mythos of the
american man and like I thinkthat's why I just generally

(38:02):
don't like westerns.
It's because I had a piece ofshit parent like that, yeah, and
I was like damn, I see a lot ofthis motherfucker in this
character.
He's like oh no, it's fine tocheat on your wife, I can.
I love her now though.
It's cool, don't worry about it, because love is true yeah, my

(38:22):
wife she's dealing with afucking addiction.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
Who wants that?
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (38:28):
yeah, that was my big , that was my big note for this
movie and it kind of like, uh,very early on that came up and
even billy zane was.
Billy zane had a line wherehe's like, is he predator, is he
prey?
And I was like, yeah, that'sright.
You're right, billy, he's kindof.
He's kind of a fucking predator, isn't he, I, I will say about
fucking.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
So my note here is billy fucking zane.
Um, until we re-watched it Iforgot he was there.

Speaker 1 (38:53):
And then he comes in like they might as well have had
pyrotechnics as he came offthat fucking carriage like a fog
machine something um, and youknow you're right we failed to
mention billy zane in thebeginning, like when we were a
lot, when we were allotting theactors, he was doing something
he was doing something, fuckingnailed it I agree, because he

(39:16):
had a presence.
He like he walked off of thatstage coach and you were like,
oh, okay, someone's okay, yeah,you have a presence about him
and then when he started talkingup um fucking wyatt erp like
that, I put the note here.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
It's like I wish I had a dude to talk me up
whenever a woman looks at me andthen I said every woman needs a
gay bff firmly in my corner,because he didn't damn Wyatt

(39:50):
Earp at all, no, he just madehim intriguing.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
She literally says at the end of the interaction I
want one.

Speaker 2 (40:04):
If he was a good friend he would have been like
hey, uh, no, uh, he ain't goodfor you.
I I literally just watched himtake over a gambling parlor.
Uh, his wife is dealing withaddiction in the corner over
there um don't do it, don't doit, that's a nowadays picture
the same exact thing.

Speaker 1 (40:22):
So your wife's like you're not dating that guy, like
you know, because it's got acool mustache and a cowboy hat.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
You're like it's kind of hot and my gay bff just
talked him up like really likeif I don't do it.
Billy zane will.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
And he said yeah, billy zane had said happy
hunting because he was alsogonna be trying to get like good
luck bitch yeah, all right,happy hunting, we'll be all easy
.
And he gets that one.
I wrote, I wrote here that thatfucking that turnaround where
he was like pumping up that guyso much he turns around and does

(41:06):
a death wish, he fucking, hegoes off and fucking he hunts
down people and like takes gleeand like ambushing them and
murdering them and he's like,yeah, you should totally fuck on
this guy.
He's a good dude, good dudefrom whatever.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
No, all us pieces of shit could use a billy zane.
Uh, just fucking in our cornertalking to well, uh, so luke.
How about you?
What are your?

Speaker 1 (41:38):
uh, your golden path thoughts in all honesty, I, I, I
think it's a little bit of a ato people who can't get out of
certain lives.
It doesn't matter.
Once you get into a violent, adark path, it is difficult to
get off of it.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
Like a godfather.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
Yeah, yeah, if you are bad, bad shit's going to
happen, no matter where you go.
So he thought change of scenery, I can now be just a gambler.
I'm just a.
I'm a pharaoh owner.
I'm nothing.
I'm not a bad man.
But no, like let's.
Wyatt Earp, you want to killyou went out, you like, let's

(42:23):
not like leaving Colorado didn'tchange the fact that you like
being the lawman.
You like to be able to lay that, like you said, james, at one
point.
He's standing over a guy,pauses, looks him in the eye and
just fucking shoots him in thefoot.
Like that's dark.
You can't say you're notenjoying that, like that's a hit
.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
I thought that was a really good shot I thought like
that at one point in thecinematography.

Speaker 1 (42:47):
I was like yeah really good way to show he's
like fucking unhinged.
Yeah, so I think that I reallydo think that, uh, it's kind of
it really does paint a pictureand honestly all of them like
now camera kilmer's life catchesup to him.
You know his dog holiday, justlike the drinking, like he.
He never really tries to escapeto life.
He honestly doesn't, he's.
He kind of just goes balls tothe wall till the end.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
But yeah, that's why I respect him.
I respect him in that film, notonce did he try to be good?

Speaker 1 (43:17):
not once, not once.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
And even and he did not trick a good kind of good
you know woman into enteringinto an extramarital affair.
He's like, no, I'm garbage.
Uh, let's get this garbagewoman who's willing to rob
places with me.

Speaker 1 (43:33):
We'll be garbage together uh, you know, did you
guys remember that that docholiday was a robber?

Speaker 2 (43:43):
and murderer.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
He was a horrible yeah.
Hardy's not a good person.

Speaker 2 (43:47):
Yeah, and he died alone of tuberculosis.
Yeah, makes sense.
He didn't go dancing under thesnow, he died in a bed, even the
theme that James said, whereit's like painting a picture of
these heroes.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
Even Doc Hardy, he's as bad as they get, murdering
people, just like rob rob thecasino, blah, blah, blah.
Even at the end you're, itpaints a picture that he's like
kind of a hero, like he savesthe day.
He was a fucking knife killerhe fucking stabbed that guy when
he was for sure cheating yeahlike the guy's just like you're
cheating.
He's like pussy.
No, I wasn't.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
Yeah, like cool well, so there's, uh, there's an
actual interview with docholiday.
Um and I was looking into thisfor this film um, where doc
holiday the man himself statedthat when they asked like how do
you feel about having takenthese lives in the past?
And he said I coughed up myconscious with my lungs years
ago.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
Yeah, so just nothing .
It doesn't get cold, it's justa real piece of shit.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
Yeah, and I also think we venerate him because of
Val Kilmer.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
You know this movie portrays as him just doing it.
I don't know for the we're noteven sure why he's doing it.
Love of the game, love of thegame.
Yeah, he, love of the game.
Yeah, he's doing it because hisfriend needs help.
These bad men have done him andthat's kind of what he does it
for.
I don't believe that for asecond.
Almost certainly.
If you, if you think about thereality of that situation, wyatt
erp was probably like you cankeep and sell whatever we, you

(45:18):
know a portion of what we takeoff of these guys and that was
his motivation in real, but inthe movie they're portraying
like no, just a guy that'shelping his friend just now.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
Yeah, he's just a roguish jack sparrow type before
jack sparrow.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
In reality he's yanking the boots off each of
these people that he shot in thehead yeah no, he wasn't great.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
Uh, he wasn't great.
And yeah, this.
Well, I would just say thatthis ability for the united
states to create its folk heroeslike that and turn it into
something, and I think that'swhy our culture these days is
able to create such a politicaldichotomy off of um.

(46:04):
Do you venerate the past or doyou look at it for what it was?
Um, like, are these, are yourheroes?
Are you with us and thinkingthat you're, they're heroes, or
are you fucking woke pieces ofshit?
Um.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
I mean you, just I kind of watch it.
I respect you, know.
I know that they're pieces ofshit.
I'm not going to, I don't wantto be Wyatt Earp.
I watch it because I'm likethis is a Western I love it's
just, it's entertaining.
That's exactly Justentertaining, I feel like that's
how like everyone should lookat it, because that's what it is
it was just a film of that timeand for that time it was

(46:42):
whatever appropriate.
That's how you should take itlike it's just a piece of almost
artwork from the past.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
Like you know, one of the biggest themes of high and
dry, since we've been doing thisnew thing where we're tearing
apart films, is that, uh, um,are humans, uh, responsible
enough to consume this media?
And you know, it's weirdbecause we are millions of years
of evolution mixed up with.

(47:10):
Who made fun of us in highschool?
And then, all of a sudden, herecomes Doc Holliday, wyatt Earp,
who's my heroes.
I love Doc Holliday and WyattEarp because all the negative
things about me they make okay.
So you know, there you have it.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
And I also think the darkness also affects the people
around you is a theme as well.
So I think Wyatt Earp bringsdarkness and I don't know if he
was with his brothers already,but he definitely.
When he joined with hisbrothers he definitely killed
those men.
I loved the end.
I like I busted out laughinglike at the end when Sam Elliott

(47:52):
does, like the where they arenow and he was like so and so
died and all, and we're allfucking dead.
His wife had to go to Arizona,andzona, and prostitute herself.
She's dead and it's like.

(48:13):
It's like a freeze frame onkurt russell, like fucking
dancing with his new girl.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
I laughed so fucking hard yeah, he took us for chumps
and he's a hero now.
They're all smiling having agood time.

Speaker 1 (48:32):
I thought that was fucking hilarious, hilarious.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
Well, with that being said, it's time to dive into
our third portion of the show.
It's time for our what ifs.
All right, we're going to.
There's really no need toinsert drugs in, or alcohol.
They were in it, they were init, they were in it, but let's
insert ourselves.
So the cast of High and Dry hascome to Tombstone.
How does this film change?

(48:55):
Luke, you want to start thisone off?

Speaker 1 (48:59):
Yeah, I have to say I'm definitely going to be one
of I think I would be like acowboy, but not an important one
One of the background guys.
It's like remember thecharacter Ike in the movie,
who's just like a piece of shitthroughout it.
Like I would be behind him,like yeah, pussy, yeah, yeah,

(49:21):
I'd be back there, just like,yeah, you want to fucking go.
No no no, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I don't want to actually fight,just casually walking away from
fights and shit, like I'm notactually trying to fight these
men with guns.
These are pistols.
Guys Like these are actual,like we're not actually.
You guys are playing for blood.
As Doc Holliday said, notinterested, I am not interested

(49:43):
in playing for blood.
So I think if I was in themovie I would be a cowboy.
I'd be sick, cool mustache, allof it.
I'd be, but a coward probably,and just the guy that's a hype
man in the background, probablymore cowboy-ish.
But yeah, go get them boys,let's go.
You know, that's probably more.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
And then I got to get home.

Speaker 1 (50:05):
actually, oh, about that, that I have a pot pie at
home, gonna go smash that.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
Enjoy this, have fun yeah unlike wyatt, I'm actually
happy um, so I'm gonna go yeah,I have a wife and two kids, a
beautiful family.

Speaker 1 (50:26):
It's amazing like I really enjoy living in tombstone
.
I'm just gonna get at you.
I, I was just, I got excited.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
It just came over here I got wrapped up in the.
I got wrapped up in thepageantry.
So, yeah, uh, that's that.
That'd be my character intombstone he gets wrapped up in
the pageantry, but then he goeshome and lives his fucking life
I just play cowboy.

Speaker 1 (50:53):
That's why, just like here, I streamed as a cowboy.
I'm not gonna actually I'm notgoing out to ride fucking horses
tonight, though, that's forsure uh, james, what about you?

Speaker 2 (51:06):
how would it change?

Speaker 1 (51:08):
how to change, um uh, well, first the character that
I think I would have to insertmyself for.
Uh, is why I would be the maincharacter and I do everything
exactly the same, becauseobviously the only one who got,
who nothing bad happened to, hegot out of it totally fucking

(51:28):
scot-free and then he was evenable to ditch his wife without
any sort of any repercussions,anything.
Yeah, and I'd just be dancing atthe end of the christmas tree.
I'd be loving it.
More likely I would be.
Uh, I would supply his wifewith laudanum and while he was

(51:49):
gone, for months on his revengequest.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
we'd be fucking all the time Hell yeah, I'd be
fucking his wife on laudanum.
Give me some of that, don'ttake it off.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
We'd have a great time.
Well you, you wouldn't be apiece of shit.
You give her the opposite.
You'd actually give herattention.
That's all she wanted that'sall I legitimately think if
wyner just spent two date nightsa week, she wouldn't have been
until addicted to drugs.
It's his fault that she'saddicted to drugs, that he's
like a drug when, when they whenthey stood in front of the

(52:25):
glass and and and I think it wasuh, sam elliott's wife said wow
, we could be sisters.
You know, it's like these guys,it's like they were saying that
the wife was essentially just atoken for wyatt or to represent
some kind of american dream.

Speaker 2 (52:41):
I think yeah, yeah, they were all blonde.
Yeah, they were all.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
Yeah, it was it was uh, yeah, that was just very odd
.
Honestly, that thing was likeokay, whatever, yeah, I would
have lived in his house, ate allhis salted pork and shit and uh
all of his wrapped candiessounds kind of awesome, honestly

(53:10):
yeah, no, no, no, it's a solidinsert.
It's a solid insert he doesn'tcare, he doesn't care at all.
He's like oh, thank God he tookher off my hands, holy shit,
yeah, for real.
I was going to have to dealwith that.
That's how he got away wasJames was sleeping with his wife
.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
That's why she didn't even notice, had no idea.
Every everyone was just finallyhappy yeah, no and like why
would it at one point come up toyou and be like hey, I like
what you're doing, keep it up um, you're letting me you're
letting me do my thing withoutconsequence um and that's what

(53:50):
I'm.
And that's what I'm all about.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
He's going to slip a $5 bill in James' pocket Just
pat it into his chest.
You guys are going to get somemore of that stuff.

Speaker 2 (54:03):
Go out for some wrapped candies tonight.
He's like solid mustache,mustache, by the way.
Uh.
So for me, um, like, um, I, Ithink I would, I would wind up
um as doc holiday, but yeah, weall knew you were gonna say that

(54:26):
, you fucking the differencewould be um like so in the movie
theater, when why it's lookingacross the way and he's like I'm
a fuck that.
Um, and doc holly leans in andsays something like poetic I'd
lean in and say like you're.
No, hey, man, you know we'remonsters, right like you're,

(54:48):
like you're aware of that, right.
And then I'm like, um, yeah, weare going to hell, you and I,
you are aware of that, correct?

Speaker 1 (54:57):
I just want to make sure that you're on the same
page because, yeah, I'm coolwith it.
I'm cool with doing it, brother, I'm cool here we are.
Here we are.
Yeah, like my, my die is cast.
All right, I gotculosis.

Speaker 2 (55:09):
I have no one to bury me.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
It is what it is.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
But just so you're aware you're a piece of shit,
right, you get that.

Speaker 1 (55:18):
I just want to make sure you understand If you don't
know anything about the realWyatt Earp.
He never got that, he neverunderstood that he was a piece
of shit.
He abandoned two differentwives to go with to go with this
third lady and they ended upstaying together, supposedly
until her death.

Speaker 2 (55:36):
uh, and uh on and off .

Speaker 1 (55:41):
Again, he was not faithful.
He tried several businessventures.
He tried to get himselfportrayed in hollywood, because
these times were actuallysynonymous of film and cowboys.
They were both during the sametime and then he ended up having
yeah, he ended up having a verysensational uh book written

(56:03):
about him that led to his legend.

Speaker 2 (56:06):
Otherwise he would have been totally unknown as
someone wrote a very flatteringbook about him yeah, no, and my
brooding edgelord ass, mixedwith the the combat training
I've had in my life, would turninto this.
This movie would have wyattdoing all of his shit, me beside
him is doc holiday doing myshit, and then, uh, I would just

(56:28):
like, instead of the poeticshit it'd be, I would just like
pan into screen like behind hisshoulder we fucking suck dude
like you get that right, youunderstand, on his shoulder.
I'm like you're a real piece ofshit.
You're aware, right?
Okay, all right, cool, justmaking sure you know.

(56:51):
You're just making sure youknow, all right, let's kill
these guys.
And that one scene that youguys were talking about, where
he like gets his eyes and he'smeeting them after the gunshot,
where it just like zooms in onkurt russell's eyes my head
would come over his shoulder andgo dude, that was fucked up

(57:15):
real dark real dark dude realdark.

Speaker 1 (57:20):
I don't think morgan would have wanted this like do
you think you're the best thingfor her?

Speaker 2 (57:27):
really at this time, really.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
Yeah, I think, morgan , the person you're avenging
would be frightened of what youdid.
Yeah, what you've become um,you just went on a 10-man murder
spree and you showed no room,dragon dudes with fucking rope
behind horses like yeah, yeah,that's, that's dark, that is

(57:50):
dark, and then I'd have acoughing fit men will do
anything besides go to therapy,and I would be there constantly
telling him that dude, you needfucking therapy.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
Uh, I'm aware I'm a piece of shit, but I'm gonna die
alone in a bed.
You don't deserve everythingyou're about to have get help,
get help, I'll be yourhuckleberry um yeah, and that

(58:30):
that's how it would change.
There would just be a guysaying dude, get help, you're
fucked up, we all are, but youreally need help.

Speaker 1 (58:39):
I want to see the movie with those three
characters in it now.
We need to make this happensomehow.

Speaker 2 (58:45):
We need to make this film.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
We need to make the exact same film.
We'll get them all back, billand Jane, everybody, the whole
cast.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
Bill Paxton is going to have some trouble with that.

Speaker 1 (58:59):
The rest of the crew.
I don't know if Val Kilmercould probably do the role
either anymore, but you know hedoesn't have to.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
He'll come on as a consultant and he'll work with
me we'll get where we need to go, and you know we'll make it
happen for sure.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
Yeah, I, I like that.
I, uh, I will say that I thinkthe huckleberry quote was uh,
doc, holiday like val kimmer,it's supposed to be hucklebearer
.

Speaker 2 (59:28):
Like you're bearing, it's like the well, I'm glad you
brought it up because I wantedto discuss this.
So I, I, I, but I've heard bothopinions, and hucklebearer
makes sense to me and for somereason, val kilmer refuses to
clarify.
Um, so hucklebearer was thedude who carried your fucking
coffin.
Yeah, huckleberry is just thisrandom reference potentially to

(59:51):
huckleberry or that he was in.
We don't know.

Speaker 1 (59:54):
He's apparent.
I mean, this is just I'velooked it up cause I'm so like
that's something that's alwayslike haunted me.
I genuinely I like, based onall the information I found, I
think he messed up, I think hemessed the lineup and they just
kind of went with it.
it, it didn't sound bad, rolledoff the tongue and it was
supposed to be huckleberry yes,he was supposed to say I could
be a huckleberry and he just waslike I said I could be a

(01:00:17):
huckleberry and they were likeyeah, fuck it.
Yeah, fuck it, yeah, I, I, Iwould maybe.
Like it's also 1993 film isprobably more expensive.
Like it's not as like readilylike so, like roll with, it's
not as like readily Like so,like, yeah, they're like you
fuck up a lot and they're likedude, come on.
Like well, do this.

(01:00:38):
So I just did some research inthis short short amount of time
since you mentioned this and Ilooked up Hucklebearer and the
only thing I'm getting is fortombstone.

Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
Ah, so that might be a myth in and of itself.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
There's literally nothing else other than about
tombstone.
There's no like, so there's nopossible way that that's the
what it's.
I find it very weird.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
I find it very weird that there's literally no, just
like falcon we love the olddefinition and it's just a
definition of huckleberry it'sat all of.

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
It has to do with tombstone yes, I actually I just
did the same.
I google search it.
So I find that I find that veryinteresting.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
I do trust Snopes to an extent, but I found the
Snopes here.
The myth is actor Val Kilmer,while portraying Doc Holliday in
1993, tombstone repeated thecatchphrase I'm your huckle
bearer, not I'm your huckleexcuse me huckle berry, as is
commonly thought.

(01:01:48):
False.
Actor Val Kilmer so iconicallyembodied 19th century gunslinger
doc holiday in the movietombstone that when he said yeah
, yeah, um, but the popularityof the phrase had some wondering
.
Did they misremember the exactwords spoken?
Let's see here.

Speaker 1 (01:02:03):
And so, but val kilmer does say on a tweet I
both say I'm your Huckleberryand I say I'll be your
Huckleberry oh yeah, oh, look atthat yeah, so that's probably.
I would say that's great.
I mean that's Val Kilmer, Imean that's a pretty good source
yeah, so yeah, he said so.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
Val Kilmer himself said I say both I'm your, I'm
your Huckleberry and I'll beyour Huckleberry.
I say it twice in the film okay, so there you go, yep there you
go, alright, that's why.
Huckleberry is just a berryyeah, so it's gotta be some

(01:02:43):
reference to.
I bet it's a reference to.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
Huckleberry Finn.
So Mark Twain was a popularauthor at the time.

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
So it would make sense.
I'll be your.

Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
Val Kilmer.
Yeah, oh, so just a characterout of a book that a lot of
people would have known, kind ofthing.

Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
Yeah, right, yeah, because Huckleberry famously
followed Tom Sawyer.

Speaker 1 (01:03:09):
Okay, and he had his own.
He had his own thing too, wherehe went on a journey and like I
wonder, like I wonder if it hassomething to do with that.
Like, if that's what you want,I'll take you on your journey.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That makes sense, that doesn'tmake sense.
I kind of like that.
I like that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:26):
And it makes like Honestly, because it's very
clear this day he saysHuckleberry in the movie, in the
film like it's not.
Non-disputable about that.
So.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
And that's why the thick kings at home Listen to an
hour of this nonsense Tofinally get to the bottom Of
Huckleberry or Hucklebearer.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
Yeah, that's what this was all about.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
That's what this was all about.
The film was a ruse.
It was all a ruse.
We have solved one ofhollywood's greatest mysteries.
It is huckleberry.
I'm your host.
Ryan baron north, uh, with me,as always.

Speaker 1 (01:04:01):
James crossland, luke , uh, guys, thank you so much I
don't get to say all my, all mynotes quick, you're right.
Let's do the quick quips, let'sdo this shit.
I don't have any this time.
I just wanted to give some DocHoliday quotes.
So, doc Holiday, at one pointhe's coming out of the bar

(01:04:22):
what's his name?
I can't remember the guy's name, whatever the character, he
says you're so, oh, the drunkpiano player.
You're so drunk, you'reprobably seeing two and he pulls
out a knife, not call it.
He says, well, I got two, I gotone for you, one for the each
of them, and I did one of thebest lines.
Also, when johnny tyler's comingaround the corner he's like
johnny tyler, mad cat shotgunand I just, oh, that line is

(01:04:49):
just too cold.
And then the coldest line andhonestly one of my favorite
cowboy lines of all time is when, uh, he does meet johnny ringo
out in the woods the final, likepretty much climax of the movie
and he ends up like, um, hecomes up to johnny ringo, says,
what are you doing here?
You're not supposed to be here.

(01:05:10):
And he's like, uh, play forblood, remember.
And he gets Johnny Ringo's as,as kidding.
He's like I wasn't just one ofthose lines.
It's that I'm loving thesereads.
Yeah, I, I'm sorry.
I have this movie, especiallythose big quotes, like I said,
especially those big quotes,like I said, a lot of nostalgia
for me, but those are like.

(01:05:30):
Those are the lines that, for me, I'll watch it over and over
again because it gives megoosebumps.

Speaker 2 (01:05:33):
To this day, when I watch some of those lines I'm
just like, specifically from valkilmer val kilmer was able to
do this role and he, like you'dthink it would be kurt russell
to bring the one-liners.

Speaker 1 (01:05:46):
But no, val kilmer brought, like he had a hand of
him like and he just keptfucking dealing them out every
time you're like there's no like, and then he's sitting there,
sitting there with he's like.
I have an idea let's have aspelling contest.
Like just all of his differentlike.
He takes the scene every timehe's on screen.
All of his lines are iconic inalmost every scene he's in.

(01:06:08):
I just I have to give thetribute to Val Kilmer and a few
of my favorite quotes from him.
One of my favorite scenes fromthe movie was when they're
watching the play, and I lovedthe scene as someone who watches
movies of someone else watchinga piece of art and making

(01:06:29):
commentary on the interaction ofthose people, because it's
essentially like a director orscreenwriter giving us a window
into how they're viewing things.
And Val Kilmer, doc Holliday,has a line that I like there,
where they're watching this andthey're talking about these
people, and he says but who'sthe devil?

(01:06:49):
Where they're watching this andthey're talking about these
people, and he says but who'sthe devil?
And I don't think that that wasan accident, that they cast her
as that.
They cast her as the devil inthis, that it was a more layered
thing, that he wasn't justspeaking directly about her yeah
, she's like a temptress, likelike, uh, yeah, like, but not
even that.
But them like watching thesepeople who are making mistakes

(01:07:09):
about life and saying, but who'sthe devil is?
Is, I thought, was I thoughtsomething that was hidden in
there, that was higher up andnot directly related to the play
, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:07:21):
Um, uh, let's see From that same scene.
I thought that roof is fuckedUm this.
This, this movie was theperfect film in support of gun
control.

Speaker 1 (01:07:39):
They literally were like all right, we're doing gun
control now, let's settle down,guys, you guys just blew six
fucking holes in my roof.
That's like that's days anddays of like work and like
resources that have to be usedto repair it, because next time
it rains this fucking place willrot Dude my dudes, this can't

(01:08:01):
happen every Friday night.
No more shooting holes in theroof guys.
Come on, I know you get excited, we'll get you guys.
Cap guns you guys still do it.
Just not the real bullets, comeon, jesus.
But but talking about thebullets, the number of times
that people just gathered aroundin a circle around people

(01:08:23):
firing guns was insane.
Like misfire, like they're likethese.
These are all ace Because, I'msorry, I guarantee Real Wild
West.
If two guys went in a face-offand everyone got in a circle,
people would get killed all thetime.

Speaker 2 (01:08:36):
There's no way to kill that dude.
You're getting shot.

Speaker 1 (01:08:39):
You're getting shot.
Yeah, Like come on.

Speaker 2 (01:08:43):
You got this dude who's just standing right behind
one of them going nah, thisdude's an ace.

Speaker 1 (01:08:51):
He behind one of them going nah, this dude's an ace,
he'll be fine.
Yeah, take, let's take the kidsto the standoff today.
It's gonna be fucking awesome,like it's gonna be so cool and
get fucking shot.

Speaker 2 (01:08:57):
I, I, I am betting you that it was terrifying.
Um, hey, those people who runour society are firing death
slugs at each other again.
All right, uh.

Speaker 1 (01:09:13):
So do you guys remember the scene where before,
before they take morgan out forhis first time killing a man,
uh that he gives him that talkabout how you know it's, it's
not like it's gonna, it's notlike you think it's gonna be.
You know killing's not so easyand shit, yeah, yeah.
And then they come back and andmorgan says you're right, it's
nothing like like I thought Ialmost wish, and then, and then

(01:09:36):
you know, he cuts him off.
I I hate when they do this inmovies, because my first thought
is to try to finish what theywere gonna say you're right,
it's nothing like I thought.
I almost wish I got a chance tofuck their skulls before their
bodies got all the way.
I know me too.

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
It's the same for all of us.
And that would be that momentwhere I slide in the frame going
.
You guys realize you're allmonsters, right you?
Deserve to die If this bar liton fire, we should burn in this.
If this bar lit on fire, weshould burn in this.

Speaker 1 (01:10:15):
Obviously he was going to say something like I
wish that didn't happen, I wishI didn't kill that man.
It's like, yeah, but his, Iknow me too.
I don't think he was thinkingthe same thing.

Speaker 2 (01:10:26):
I too wish I could have fucked that guy I'm just a
piece of shit.

Speaker 1 (01:10:33):
Um, let's see, I think his brother was kind of
like oh my god, you're a monsterlike I am not okay I did not
enjoy that today.
You are fine, though that'sweird, yeah uh, I like the touch
of, uh, I like the touch ofriding the horse into the
building because, uh, you knowit's kind of like, uh, it's kind
of like a cowboy story.
Right, it's not practical, it'simpractical, it's a little

(01:10:53):
stupid, uh, uh.
But.
Or riding a horse into like agunfight of standing people,
very dumb, but it's like a pulpstory, you know, it's like an
old cow, it's like it's like afantastical story without the
horse it's just guys weirdlyrunning in a field shooting guns
at each other.

Speaker 2 (01:11:10):
You know, it's definitely not as cool.
Well, fellas, I, I am, we are,though we're at an hour 15, it's
time to slice this bad boy off.
Um, no one's gonna finish thisfucking bitch, but anyway, so I
uh.
Thank you all for listening.
I'm your host, ryan baron north, with me, as always, james
crossland lube.
Uh, guys, thank you so much.
Um, yeah, uh, yeah, look at you, fucking, look at yourselves,

(01:11:33):
look at your heroes.
All right, god damn, we alldeserve to die in a fire.
All right, this is I, and dryeverybody bye.