January 3, 2024 • 50 mins
Have you ever wondered how Zack Snyder's "Rebel Moon" measures up in an era brimming with space sagas? Let's unravel this celestial tapestry together, navigating a podcast where the drinks flow as freely as "Rebel Moon's" garbage storytelling. With a Jack Daniels in one hand and a laser sword, one we only turn on when the fight is almost over, in the other, we traverse the visual grandeur reminiscent of Snyder's "300" days, while confronting the narrative turbulence that has Snyder fanboys up in arms defending their messiah.
Strap in for a starship ride of opinionated banter as we dissect the film's contentious storytelling elements. The inclusion of multiple sexual assault events as a narrative catalyst and the heavy reliance on exposition spark a fiery dialogue that's as potent as our weed. Michiel Huisman's "screen charm" isn't lost on us either, as we debate his contribution to Snyder's universe and the punchable-ness of his face.
As we hurtle through the podcast cosmos, we don't just stop at Snyder's world; we envision our own 'what ifs' for "Rebel Moon." Imagine a movie that keeps you guessing until the final credits, a story where the robot's personal journey would have rightfully stolen the show. So, if you've ever craved a podcast that discusses storytelling with as much passion as a cinephile in a midnight release queue, you've found your tribe. Join us, the High n' Dry crew, for a conversation that's equal parts critique and inebriated bantering.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
James (00:00):
about the way the book is , though it's not surprising,
because the book is just like aton of exposition.
Yeah, yeah.
So I mean, what were they?
Ryan (00:07):
going to do?
What were they going to do?
Yeah, but when you?
That's not even a movie we'reon today.
Oh yeah, welcome to High andDry podcast, the only podcast
keeping alive the fandom of DrQuinn medicine woman.
Keeping that going right here.
James (00:27):
I watched Dr Quinn a lot with my grandparents.
Ryan (00:30):
How big Dr Quinn fan, and that's why that's why I first
reached out to you was to getthat sort of insight on this
show.
So everyone, welcome to theshow, the, our podcast.
We're going to talk aboutthings pop culture, historical,
little philosophy and what makesus so special is that we're
going to do it really drunk andreally high.
(00:51):
So let's jump right on into it.
James, what are you smokingthis week?
James (00:56):
Oh yeah, this week I've got, I've got a nice flower
called cereal milk.
Okay, all right, all right Likethe like the milk that's left
behind after you have a bowl ofcereal.
It is concentrated euphoria.
It's very good.
Ryan (01:13):
Interesting.
I'm excited to see how thatplays out with today's episode.
I'll be joining you.
I just the last episode.
I brought out my weekend poor.
I couldn't bring out a weekendpoor for for that hot piece of
garbage we just watched.
James (01:29):
So it's got to be something that makes you angry.
Did you get tequila?
Ryan (01:34):
No, I got old number seven , jack Daniels.
Great, yeah, yeah.
So if you're watching this,show you I don't think I need to
explain the subtle notes JackDaniels, old number seven.
So you know, it's your gasstation whiskey gets the job
done through the week, andthat's what we're going to do
here today.
So this first one goes out to,I guess, the film we're going to
(02:00):
be talking about, which is ZackSnyder's new thing he created.
James (02:06):
It's a movie, it's a movie.
Ryan (02:09):
He made a movie.
We're going to be talking aboutRebel Moon, so this one, this
one goes out to Rebel Moon, andI think this will be the first
and last nice thing we have tosay.
So cheers to Rebel Moon, cheers.
Oh, that's smooth.
Yeah, say what you want aboutold number seven.
(02:29):
You know people, you know it's30 bucks gets the job done.
I like the taste.
I don't care, but I mean if youthink about like whiskey
historically as a alcohol.
James (02:42):
It wasn't like like.
Whiskey now doesn't resemblewhiskey 100 years ago or
whatever in the slightest.
You know whiskey now is wayless proof than what it was in
the past.
In the past it was way higherproof and it was always watered
down like purposely.
Ryan (02:59):
Yeah, not I like.
The one I did yesterday was a.
That was 100 proof, if Iremember right, and Jack Daniels
is only a 40%, so you could getmore done with it.
You know you could drink longer.
Yeah, our next shot, next toast, next hit what's this one?
(03:22):
To what do you think?
James (03:24):
This one goes out to the, the poor souls who decided to
jump in and watch Rebel Moon assoon as it drops, without
reading any reviews.
Cheers.
Ryan (03:41):
Cheers.
James (03:42):
Honestly, though, I don't have only bad things to say
about this movie.
There are some good parts.
You know the visuals.
Visuals were pretty steady.
Ryan (03:52):
Yeah, no, the visuals were a little reminded me very much
of the 300.
Was that Zack?
James (03:59):
Snyder Was, wasn't it, I think?
I think Zack Snyder did direct300, which would make sense, I
think.
I think that his style is alittle static, like he has a
specific style.
Ryan (04:15):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it's time for a thirdshot, third toast, third hit.
Okay, I think people are prettyclear already.
We have some very strongopinions on this film.
But I have nothing against ZackSnyder.
I like a few of the things he'sdone, so this one, let's.
Let's do one to him.
James (04:33):
Yeah, here's the toast.
Zack Snyder is going to needthis one.
Yeah, we're about to tear India.
Yeah.
Ryan (04:41):
Zack, you might want to line them up too.
So buckle up.
And I'd like to tell the peopleyou know listening right now
that we have not jumped intothis discussion already.
I mean, we, we sent a fewsarcastic text messages, I guess
, back and forth in between.
(05:03):
It took me two days to watchthis fucking thing.
So yeah, fresh discussion on it.
So how we do this, how we'regoing to do this episode at
least, is we're going to breakdown the three parts.
Our first part we're going togo into our sober thoughts.
Right now, all the the herb andthe alcohol are working their
way into our bloodstream.
Then we're going to go into ourin vino veritas portion, where
(05:25):
we're going to let the higherlevel of our consciousness come
out, really going to talk aboutthis fucking piece of garbage.
And then we're going to end itwith a what if?
Scenario.
We're going to throw James andmyself into this movie and we're
going to ask, guy, what if youwere there?
So going into the first thing.
So, james, what are your soberthoughts?
Man, rebel moons X, snyder, howdo you feel about it?
James (05:47):
Okay.
So, like we've already stated,visuals are pretty cool.
You get a lot of greatspaceship and sci fi visuals,
you see, you see some aliensPretty interesting.
Ryan (06:02):
There's that squid thing that was like fucking the bad
guy.
James (06:05):
Yeah, that squid thing.
I was, I was interested in thesquid thing, but they also had.
They kind of had that already.
They did that in ant man, whichalso, like I've got some
comparisons to draw here We'llget to that there wasn't a lot,
there wasn't.
I don't know if there wasanything new in this film, and I
think that's the part thatreally affected how I feel about
(06:28):
it.
How, what do you think?
Ryan (06:30):
Yeah, right off the bat.
I mean you have a.
I mean I thought it was like ashot for shot.
Remake of Samurai seven, orwhat was the?
The western version?
Yeah, Blazing saddles, that'sit.
James (06:51):
This magnificent, seven magnificent seven, magnificent
seven.
Ryan (06:55):
Yeah, it was, it was.
It was a shot-for-shot remake.
It was a samurai seven film.
Yeah, and Everith, it was thetropiest.
It was the tropiest film I haveseen in forever.
This is a hero's journey, right, it wasn't even it.
James (07:13):
Well, yeah, sort of Kinda so someone wrote a list, like a
grocery list, about the hero'sjourney, and then that was the
movie.
Ryan (07:23):
Well, I I got five minutes into it and I was exhausted.
I was absolutely exhaustedbecause we've been through these
intros 200 times.
There was an episode ofMandalorian that covered the
whole movie.
I don't know if you ever woundup watching the series, but I
watched like four episodes andthey were all the same they were
(07:45):
all I was like.
James (07:46):
I was like I've seen this episode three times already and
then I couldn't watch anymore.
Ryan (07:50):
Well, yeah, no, you could watch the first episode of
season, last episode of theseason, then everything in
between is interchangeable.
James (07:57):
But we're not here to bash great but, but it brings up
a great point.
That's exactly what this moviedoes too.
Ryan (08:03):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, well, especially becausethey had to do pit stops to find
their seven heroes, one of whomAny of those try them any of
those could have been movedaround.
James (08:14):
You could have any of those scenes around and it
wouldn't have mattered the onehad done a damn thing.
Ryan (08:20):
Wouldn't have done a damn thing and also I felt that at
least the first half of themovie that they're so.
Normally in a story You'resupposed to have an event,
characters react to the vent.
Characters make a decision andthen follow the new decision.
They instead Zack Snyderdecided that he is going to
(08:41):
characters see sexual assault,respond to the sexual assault
and Then let the world happenbecause they responded to the
sexual assault and that led themthrough like three fucking
planets.
James (08:53):
I don't know.
I think that's a.
It was a really strange impetusfor action On the part of
someone who has, who had seen,you know already, horrors, right
, I assume that was her like hertipping point.
But man, they just really, theyreally just went.
It was.
(09:14):
It was like doing fetch questsin a video game video games I
think this is a good analogy isthat video games can be like
these amazing stories, that thatengage you and Immerse you in a
world and activities, or theycan also be like a series of
fetch quests that are notimmersive or engaging at all.
We're just like we got to go dothis thing.
(09:35):
I'm gonna go do this thingcheck, check, check box, check
box.
You know, check my menu.
Yeah, I did all the things.
Okay, I guess that was the endof the quest.
I could have been any part ofthe quest, I don't know.
And you know some people saywhat are you talking about?
This does everything you askfor in a hero's journey and it's
like well, it's the things thatdifferentiate it from the
(09:55):
checklist that make a movie goodor great.
Ryan (10:00):
Well, I was.
I was after I finished it.
I was reading some of thereviews just to see where we
compared and I think it was like22 on rotten tomatoes or some
such that sounds about right.
Yeah, and but this ex-kniter, hedeveloped sort of that
following During his the DCwhole thing and yeah it looks
(10:22):
like looks like his, his boysare out in force, just sort of
arguing for the film, and I sawa lot of it was so powerful and
Like to be powerful.
In my opinion, you have to havesomething to say, yeah.
James (10:40):
What is this saying?
Rape rape is bad Got it.
Ryan (10:45):
Yeah, we were already clear on that.
James (10:50):
Cartoon cartoonish villainy is unacceptable.
You can quote, you can quote meon that.
Ryan (11:00):
Vicious snidely whip lash.
Who fucks a squid Jesus.
Christ, but yeah, I'm a moviein my opinion, to be powerful
you have to have something tosay, and I don't know what he
was trying to say there and mylittle last sober thought on it
in, in my opinion, was what thefuck was with just the fire hose
(11:28):
of Exposition?
James (11:37):
You know, you know the old, you know the old adage for
writers tell, don't show.
Yeah, it was just non stop andwhy, why, why would you use the
visual medium when you can justhave a character sit and look
right into the camera and Tellyou everything they're thinking
and feeling?
Ryan (11:57):
and why, oh, oh my god, and you could see it in her face
when she was getting ready toshare her history with us.
Because some that, that onedude who just, he, he just has
such a punchable face.
James (12:12):
Yeah, he.
He didn't deserve to be on thistrip.
He was like just dragged alongfor no reason, don't you Do?
They love each other.
Ryan (12:26):
I missed it she was talking.
James (12:28):
Is it because they had a conversation like, wow, nobody's
a fucking talk, so it's onlytwo people?
Ryan (12:34):
Well, yeah, in this universe, apparently the only
way people together get togetheris sexual assault.
So him talking to her was just,and she, you know, is obviously
love was gonna happen.
But yeah, it was funny.
I could say he's just got thisreally fucking punchable face.
And exactly who I was talkingabout.
(12:54):
He was like that in Game ofThrones too.
He he was Khaleesi's manconcubine, was he after the?
After the actor got swapped out.
James (13:05):
Oh, that's right.
Ryan (13:06):
Yes.
James (13:07):
I was like where is this guy from All?
I know is that I hate him.
Ryan (13:12):
Exactly the first dude, the first dude who played that
character, khaleesi's maleconcubine.
He played it as this superegotistical douchebag.
James (13:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is how, which is how Iwas, I really liked and he
didn't like great attention.
Ryan (13:27):
It did it great, you know, but like.
And then he just kind of laidback the dude who took over and
who is following our leadcharacter through Rebel moon.
He's just like, like his faceis constantly mansplaining,
something about like he's justgot this way about him and I
don't know your name, man, and Iknow you're listening right now
(13:49):
.
James (13:50):
His name is Michael Heisman Huy s man.
I assume it's Heisman, but Idon't know well, it's like no
peace.
Ryan (13:59):
There's no way he was trying to look like that through
this, but like he's just gotthis really this attitude that
you really do just want to punchhim Well.
I don't know, and I feel, Ifeel bad like so.
We, you know, we were lookingat some movies that we want to
do for the oh dude he was in theinvitation and I wanted to
(14:21):
punch him the entire time.
Oh my god, he's the douchebagnew guy, oh my god, you want to
punch him the entire time.
I'm so bad.
All right, michael, I apologize.
I just realized that the reasonwe want to punch you is because
in the invitation you did sucha good job of being that guy
(14:43):
that it's now ingrained in me I.
James (14:47):
What it is.
I think we've we've typecasthim in our head that we want a
bunch of yeah, it's because theinvitation invitation, though,
by the way, great movie greatmovie.
Don't ask me if it's good movie.
I talked to the entire thing.
Ryan (15:01):
But awesome movie, awesome movie.
If you haven't seen theinvitation, go check that out.
We're talking about Rebel Moontoday, but if you can, go see
the invitation.
James (15:12):
Sorry, hold on.
That's the invitation from 2015.
Ryan (15:14):
Yes, you know, featuring the douchebag from Rebel Moon.
If you've seen Rebel Moon, youknow who I'm talking about.
And it wasn't even sons ofanarchy who betrayed them.
We're talking about the dudewho's like the douchebag.
Well, so that's, that's a goodpoint.
So now it's time, then, for me,at least I, I'm gonna.
I need another drink.
(15:35):
I.
James (15:36):
Got to talk about this guy more.
I had to Character.
His character is just that hedoesn't do anything.
The whole story.
The only thing we know abouthim is that he's gonna sell to
the highest bidder, whatever Is.
That is, that he does commerceand he's willing to do.
Ryan (15:59):
Any kind of and in the end she's like.
James (16:02):
I love you.
The embodiment of the freemarket with no risk.
Ryan (16:12):
Well, so for those of you who Are trying to figure out
where the hell we're at in theshow, we have entered into our
second portion of this, where,where we are accessing our
drunken minds to reach a higherunderstanding and to really like
, massage the meaning out of thefibers of Rebel Moon's muscles.
(16:32):
So here's to that douchebagfrom the invitation, though I'm
gonna have one more to reallyget there, cheers.
James (16:41):
I'm gonna supplement with some green crack concentrate.
Ryan (16:47):
I'm just going to take an extra big gulp.
Eject Daniels.
James (16:53):
So yeah now.
So oh, he did nothing he didnothing.
You love him, you love him,don't you.
Ryan (17:09):
And the father, who was turning into sort of an
interesting character, got hisass beat to death by a cave.
James (17:17):
I was like the second most interesting character in
the movie.
Yeah, he killed very early.
The single most interestingcharacter in the movie was the
fucking robot.
They abandoned, yeah, 25minutes.
I was like that character isthe best fucking character in
this movie.
What's wrong with you?
Ryan (17:37):
No, and they are, but he.
James (17:42):
And then they came back at the I don't want to ruin the
spoiler alert at the end of themovie they come back and this,
this character's clearly been ona journey that I would have
liked to have seen instead ofthis movie.
The robot had like antlers onhis head and you're like why are
the fuck did he get antlers?
What animal are they from?
(18:02):
How is he now like makingdecisions about his appearance
and stuff related?
To humanity, a much bettermovie that I would rather have
seen instead of the piece ofgarbage.
Ryan (18:14):
A much better movie ran out the barn door after after
stopping a rape and just justnot there, just out in the woods
having a much better movie.
What would have been amazing,what would have been absolutely
(18:35):
amazing, at least if they kindof tipped the hat to that
concept.
If they make it back to theplanet, they've gathered their
heroes, they survived thebetrayal.
Obviously, seven people wouldbe hopelessly outnumbered
against the space Nazis.
They're getting just friggingmassacred.
And then here comes Antlerrobot bounding back to the field
(18:58):
.
James (19:00):
That you know that would be unexpected.
Ryan (19:03):
That would be the first thing in that movie that was.
James (19:07):
Yeah, you can't have anything in this movie.
That's unexpected.
It's a rule.
Well, all right.
Ryan (19:12):
So for for the mind opening portion of it, can you
give, bring anything to thetable?
Can we think of anything aboutthis?
Is there any praise that wecould sing for this movie?
James (19:25):
You know because they like they got.
They got Chimon Honsu on thecast.
That was good.
He's always great in everymovie.
He got to say like three linesof dialogue which I feel like
you could have got more he wasaround, yeah, yeah, they had him
and he was.
He was like.
(19:46):
As soon as I saw him, I waslike, yeah, and then he was gone
.
Ryan (19:52):
Well, and then I would say , even so, the bad guy I've seen
him in something before andhe's always a bad guy he has
those super defined cheekbonesthat he has Nazi face, he has
perpetual Nazi face.
Yeah, he's got Nazi face.
He's a great bad guy and I feelhe was definitely a great
choice.
James (20:12):
He's bad guy in Deadpool.
Ryan (20:14):
That's it.
Yes, yes, he's got Nazi, andeven I think Deadpool references
something like that, when yeah,that's where I know him from he
was the bad guy in the firstDeadpool.
Wow, he has an age today.
James (20:25):
Yeah.
Ryan (20:27):
Good for him, good for him , yeah, yeah, good for him.
He's like he didn't write thescript, it wasn't his fault, you
know, unless we find out likebehind, like they released the
Snyder cut of the Snyder movieand he comes out in like the
behind where they're talkingabout it and it's all in black
(20:47):
and white and he's like Irequested that squid scene.
I.
They didn't want to do it, theythought it would make an
off-putting movie even moreoff-putting, but I insisted.
James (21:05):
I think you know the professional Nazi face and I
think he, I think he's a goodactor, I think I've seen him.
He's a good villain.
Yeah, for sure.
It was a little heavy-handedwith the not like okay.
So I guess here's.
I give it to Zack Snyder forthis, even though I'd say it's
very heavy-handed.
Maybe the audience he'spointing toward needs a
(21:25):
heavy-handed approach, but theywere very directly Nazis in
their military uniforms.
Ryan (21:33):
Oh yeah.
James (21:33):
So he was, he was.
He was very much like look it,this guy's a Nazi.
And then when they went to showhim, he looked like when, when
he wasn't in his armor, helooked like Richard Spencer.
And you know it's he who is awhite nationalist.
He's, he was, he was.
He's famous for getting punchedin the face and having that
(21:56):
memeified and remixed.
My favorite one is when is whenthe Sonic rings come out?
When he's hit?
Ryan (22:04):
Mwah chef's kiss.
James (22:06):
But he's like he's a neo-Nazi and they made him look
like a, you know, a skinny blacktie, white collar looking guy
with that, with that high cuthaircut, because they gave him a
black tie.
Yes, they gave him a skinnyblack tie.
Ryan (22:21):
Dude, that was wild when I first saw it.
You're like he had the jacketoff and I'm like whoa he's
wearing it.
What the hell it was, yeah.
James (22:28):
And then the big fight.
He's fighting in a collar and atie, which is very funny.
Ryan (22:36):
It was so bizarre.
It was a wildly out of place.
Yeah, I'm being taken on anadventure through space and I
can't stop looking at this tie.
James (22:47):
He got transported from an office somewhere and then
immediately fell into the roleof Nazi because just because he
was a modern day whitenationalist, so that was.
I found that very funny.
While heavy handed, it draws adirect parallel between Nazis
and the alt right, which I'mgrateful for.
Yes.
Ryan (23:07):
Thank you.
James (23:08):
Excited for for doing that.
Yes, Nazis are bad.
I think the artist, well he.
So he did something that isactually fairly controversial,
which is drawing a direct linebetween Nazis and the alt right.
It's still very controversialto do that in mainstream America
(23:29):
, and so he did it, and I'm verygrateful it's very heavy handed
it's very, it's not veryartistic, but he did it.
Ryan (23:40):
Well, I mean, you know, I've met a lot of people I mean
out in Vegas especially a lot ofpeople there were.
Education is the greatest thingin the world, and there's been
more than once where I've had toexplain the events of World War
two.
Yeah, so maybe, maybe that'swhat he was trying to do.
Maybe you know zigzag Sniderson the other side of this
(24:03):
microphone right now justlistening on his drive, you know
, to whatever he does onChristmas and tears welling in
his eyes just trying to likehe's just screaming back into
the radio saying that I did itfor people who don't know what
Nazis are.
They're bad.
James (24:24):
You know, maybe, maybe he did this whole movie for people
who've never seen a moviebefore or who've never seen like
an action adventure or a StarWars or anything like that.
We've never seen that before.
It's like, oh, all theseinteresting characters, because
(24:44):
I think this is really importantwhat he did was he made a bunch
of short clips.
He made a bunch of short clipsof characters introducing
themselves and having theirbackstory explained to us and he
just he just mushed all thosein there in a different, in an
order, you like, clipped them upand put a minister in order and
all it is is just, it's like aprimer, it's like a, it's like a
(25:07):
portfolio full of superheroesis what he did.
Yeah, and, and he didn't makeit.
The problem is you didn't makeit interesting in between.
Ryan (25:15):
Not at all.
James (25:16):
It's really important that your movie also has to be
interesting and not just an infodump.
But I don't know if he just didthis for people who've never
seen movies before.
Ryan (25:27):
If that's the case, yeah, yeah.
If that's the case, put adisclaimer out.
God damn, you know let me know.
James (25:36):
I want this to be the first time you've ever been
introduced to anything sci-fi oranything action adventure that
I want you to have only watchedlike dramas and like the jackass
movies, and that's it.
And then you come to this andyou're like what the fuck movie
ever?
They got a fucking eagle birdthing.
What the fuck is going on?
Ryan (26:02):
Well, and so, sadly for me , it was originally pitched to
me as a Star Wars alternative,because I'm one of the many who
feel like there was a.
We've brought them up twice now, but there was a meme I forget
the movie, but it was AndrewGarfield where another character
(26:25):
in the film asks him like, doyou hate it?
He's like yeah, no, it'scomplicated, and I've become one
of those people where I lovewhat Star Wars was, but I hate,
loathe, what they've done to it.
(26:47):
And so it was built to me as ahaven for us where we can go
enjoy a world like that again,without Disney's dick prints all
over it.
James (27:02):
I think all he did when he was like Disney's not doing
the right thing was like we needblood.
You gotta put there's no,there's no blood in it.
As long as there's blood in it,that makes it.
That's what.
That's where everyone's missing, right, she's put some blood.
Ryan (27:18):
Yeah, man, there's no blood when you're, when your
limbs are cauterized by a lasersword dude.
James (27:22):
It's like Also, what took that woman so long to turn on
her laser swords?
Who was she waiting for?
Ryan (27:29):
I have no idea.
James (27:31):
When she turned on the laser swords I was like that was
an option the whole time.
Ryan (27:35):
What were you doing?
She was just making sure thather hat was perfectly askew.
She wanted to get a scarecrow.
Look, she was going for.
God damn it.
James (27:46):
It's only fair if I let my enemy kick the shit out of me
for a little while before Ikill them the brutal shit out of
me too, Like holy crap.
Yeah, and I was like and thatwas a note I made was who?
Who was this for?
Does she know there's a camerafollowing her?
Does she know that we'reobserving?
(28:09):
And she's like wait till theysee me turn on my fucking laser
swords.
I was actually fighting with myhand behind my back and then
she's like, and then she's like.
And then she's like this isserious, this is not cool, this
is not.
Yeah, every who walks to me islike good job killing.
This is not celebratory, and Iwas fighting with one hand
(28:29):
behind my back and also fuck youfor thinking this is supposed
to be cool yeah.
Ryan (28:34):
Like well, why were you?
Making a spectacle out of it.
I.
James (28:38):
God and it's, it's that shit over and over in this movie
.
Ryan (28:42):
Oh, constantly, constantly , like every character except
grain counter, who just wantedto let you know he believed in
the free market.
They were all just waiting fortheir moment to be like yo check
this shit out.
I don't want to, you know, Idon't want to say nothing, but
(29:03):
I'm kind of a badass and oh Ithat.
And every time it happened,every time it happened, I had to
turn it off and that's why thefilm took me two days to finish.
A two hour film took me 48hours to get through and oh,
shit.
James (29:23):
I watched it straight through.
It felt about that long.
Oh my God, jim, on Hansu, Ithink I touched you this one.
So Jim, on Hansu's character isat a Coliseum.
He's like a space general who'slike taken over a Coliseum or
some shit.
They're like he's at theColiseum, anyone who gets close
(29:46):
to him.
You got to watch out whathappens.
And so they like build them upand then they go to get him and
they just kind of like wash himoff and shave him and they're
like you want to come with us?
And he says yes, and it's likehow do you waste a space
Coliseum?
What the fuck that's Chekhov'sgun 101 is to be like.
(30:08):
If you introduce anything cool,you should do something with
this Like yeah, we got a spaceColiseum but over here you got
to look over back on the shipand tell you about how cool the
Coliseum is.
Ryan (30:22):
Over here, the ex-Nazi girl who was hiding with the
farmers.
She has some more shit to say.
James (30:29):
What the fuck they passed my four good movies on their
way to the end of this shittyone.
Ryan (30:40):
I understand that today, everyone, they just consume
TikTok and YouTube.
Everything's 30 seconds long,everything like that.
That's fine, I get it.
The world's changing.
But in this new world, if youdecide to make a movie, there's
certain rules.
All right, chekhov's gun, youknow show, don't tell.
Basic shit, basic shit.
(31:02):
You know.
I make way less than ZackSnyder, way fucking less.
I make way less than thewriters of this movie and
there's basic rules that theydidn't know and that just drives
me crazy.
That drives me fucking insane.
James (31:21):
I loved you know, and to your point, when you're saying
this, this basic shit thatdrives you insane, the very like
the last scene where they allget captured and the Nazi guy
walks around and like, points atthem and says here are the
exploits you did, here's yourname and the exploits you did,
here's your name.
Ryan (31:44):
I was like, please stop.
They already did thisthemselves.
That's all it was, and all itwas the whole movie was these
assholes talking about how coolthey were.
James (31:57):
You don't need to do it too.
If they, if they'd done thatlike 10 minutes into this movie
and then like expounded on thesepeople like the rest of the
movie I would have, that wouldhave been a ton better.
I think that would be hilariousif they turn it Okay.
So I actually had this thoughtand I texted you.
(32:17):
This is like okay.
So I want to talk really quickabout postmodernism as a concept
, which I don't know if ourlisteners are familiar with,
postmodernism and art.
But what it is is thatpostmodernism has you assume
things based on the tenants ofour modern era and modernist
(32:38):
media.
So it's like so you say,someone goes on a quest, they
see, they see something happenand they're affected by it
because of something in theirpast.
That is a modern trope, right?
Postmodernism would say okay,we're going to take that thing
and reference it in a way thatenhances your experience as a
(32:58):
viewer.
And what kind of happenssometimes when people are
post-modernist is that theyforget the second part and they
just reference the thing thatyou've already seen and don't
enhance your experience at all.
Ryan (33:14):
Yeah, that was.
James (33:15):
And that was this entire fucking movie.
Ryan (33:17):
That was just.
Yeah, that was this movie.
James (33:21):
I had a thought where it's like maybe this movie, when
he was pointing at them andtelling them everything they've
done, I thought for a second,maybe this is a post-modern
masterpiece, that is like.
So I had this thought and Ithought that this movie was
flipping just the entire hero'sjourney on its head, like right
(33:41):
at the end.
I didn't understand because Iwas so confused by everything
I'd seen.
Yeah, I thought that what itwas doing was making a comment
about us, the viewer, and it wasjust like hey, you know all of
these things.
Nothing is surprising.
I just sat for two hours andtold you all of these things.
I'm telling you already thatcould be done literally just in
(34:04):
a checklist that we're going onand you sat and watched it and
you're happy about it, but thenI realized that that does not
enhance your viewing in any way.
He did not do anything.
If it had been a comedy, ifthis would be a stupid excuse,
(34:24):
less seriously, it would havebeen so much better.
Ryan (34:29):
Oh yeah, for sure, yeah, no, and I think there it is.
And with that being said, it isdefinitely time to move on to
our third segment of this show,where we're going to go into the
what ifs of Rebel Moon.
This is Rebel Moon what ifs,season one.
So what we're going to do nowis we're going to insert
(34:53):
ourselves.
We're going to insert ourselvesand or drugs and alcohol into
this movie and we're going todiscuss how it would have gone
down just a little bitdifferently.
So, james, you've been, so youjust watched like the father get
his ass fucking handed to himfor no reason and you're
(35:17):
watching an interestingcharacter and you're wondering
why Interesting character Justdied and which drove me.
Oh, I was so pissed because Iwas looking at him and he's got
that huge fucking beard.
He's bald, but his eyes,they're like so familiar to me
and I realized that he was themain character of the strain and
(35:39):
that's where he struck me wasfrom the strain.
I was really eager to see whathe's going to do next and I
figured that douchebag,punchable douchebag, was just
some side dude from fucking Gameof Thrones.
He's about to die, cool, andI'm going to get to follow this
father guy as he lays down somespace wisdom and then yeah, the
(36:08):
right path is commerce, becauseyou get to both deal with and
betray Nazis when you do that.
Like I was so angry at that partbecause I was excited to see
what this guy could do in, youknow, in an epic sci-fi fantasy,
so that really broke my heart.
James (36:30):
But anyway, we're going to kill anything interesting.
I want you to know at thebeginning of this movie anything
interesting is going to die.
Nah that's a wrap.
Ryan (36:38):
It's not happening.
It's not happening.
Don't even worry about it.
James (36:41):
Well, so.
James you've been inserted.
Ryan (36:45):
You've been inserted, what changes immediately in this
film?
James (36:49):
How does it go differently?
I run off with the robot.
We have a great movie together.
We like learn how to surviveand like we learn about how
nature works, because he's arobot, right.
Ryan (37:00):
So he has to become like in touch.
James (37:02):
He's going to call this new community home.
You can tell at the end thathe's grown significantly as a
character.
Ryan (37:08):
He's he now calls himself a new.
We just missed it.
James (37:12):
He now adorns himself with a trophy, some kind of
trophy from a wild animal.
So he's now he's gone on ajourney of personal like
reflection and growth as an, asan sentient AI, and and I'm
going to be along for thatjourney.
That journey is going to befucking dope.
And then, instead of this movie, I would, I would have a great
(37:34):
time and also, conversely, Iwould just turn this fucking
movie into a limited serieswhere we took an episode for
each of these people so youcould explain how cool they are,
instead of just telling me, ormaybe, maybe, just fucking flesh
(37:55):
out your character as eventsunfold, allow them to react in a
way that they naturally andtruly would, and from there, I
would have walked into thefucking Coliseum.
at least I would have one footin the fucking Coliseum that.
(38:15):
We flew across the goddamngalaxy to look at a famous
Coliseum and we're just like, oh, this guy's right outside the
front, I only have to go inside.
This is great.
Bye.
Ryan (38:28):
I bought the ticket.
I feel like I should see theshow.
James (38:31):
Oh my God, and it was and it was.
Another thing that makes itseem like a postmodern
masterpiece is that Jimon Honsuis in gladiator.
He's like in a much bettermovie about gladiators.
He's sitting outside thegladiator God see him.
And I don't know if the moviewants me to be like.
Do you remember gladiator andhow it had a disgraced general
(38:54):
in it and he was a badass?
Well, we should think of ourguy like that guy, and we don't
have to film anything.
You could just assume it inyour mind.
You create that story in yourhead and I don't have to do
anything, and then you care.
Ryan (39:13):
Well, so for me in the what if I had the hardest time
with this?
Because you would insert me and, like you know, I don't have
laser swords or some shit.
So what would wind up happening?
You'd be commerce guy, you know.
(39:33):
No, even worse, even worse.
So you know, I'd be there, Ithe only thing of any note I
brought is my bourbon collectionand that's my weapon.
And so I'm just wanderingaround half, you know blitz the
whole time.
And so she would start herexposition and I think we're
(39:56):
like, oh, we're drunk, we'redrunk, tell it, we're drunk over
sharing right now.
And so you would see her storyacting out like the way she was
talking about it, and theprincess ran off and was in the
woods and then all of a suddenthere'd be a record skip and,
like you know, you think that'sfucking bad.
You think that's bad and I'mjust drinking my bourbon going
(40:17):
like yo my house foreclosed, youknow, you have no fucking idea
how bad it gets out here.
And I would just be, I wouldjust be over sharing back at her
because I thought we're alldrunk and we're just over
sharing, and so that's how themovie would change with me and
(40:41):
the second thing that wouldhappen.
So I'd be cutting off all theirstories just to overshare
myself.
And then as things like oh youdo, you have no fucking idea.
James (40:54):
I was at this one girl once he's telling a story about
some massive battle to changethe fate of the universe.
He doesn't get to say anythingbecause you have a boring story
to tell.
I just cut him off this movie,you would fit right in with this
movie.
Ryan (41:13):
I'm like, do it one time man.
Like like, oh, it was the worstwinner ever.
I couldn't make any fuckingmoney.
The bank took my car and then,during, during the big fight,
the camera would keeprecognizing that I could not
take my attention off of theNazis tie.
You know, I have my my glassout and I'm just like you know,
(41:40):
I'm just watching the tie.
Through the fight I just saw ahippogriff.
James (41:47):
What are you wearing?
I'm wearing a hippogriff scene.
Fuck, you had me so furious.
I was like they literally tooktwo scenes from Harry Potter
where he meets a hippogriff andwhere he rides a dragon, and
they just, they just took thosescenes and put them directly
into this movie.
It was wild.
Ryan (42:10):
So and so after I'm just like so they get caught because
I'm not helping, I just I'mfixating on his tie and he's,
he's walking down the linepointing at them saying you did
this, this, this, and I'm likedude, that's like fucking
nothing, man, you know, you gotno idea what I.
James (42:29):
When you're strapped to the death chair.
Ryan (42:31):
Yeah, I'm strapped to the death chair.
I've just been fucking wastedthis whole movie gone to.
That's nothing, man, all right.
James (42:46):
That would be a better movie.
Ryan (42:50):
I was at Ozfest once right and static ex came out, fucking
blew my mind and that would be,and I'd get killed at that
point right there.
He'd stab me in the stomachJust so he could finish his
exposition.
And yeah, I think that's that,that's my what, if at least
(43:12):
You'd, you'd you'd interrupt, sothey did.
James (43:17):
I think what they were doing, which is this is not how
you make a movie I wish that waswhat I could convey with all of
this is this is not how youshould make a movie.
What they were doing is Plantand payoff, but they had no
payoff and then their plantingwasn't even that good.
Their planting was the mostblatant, least artistic.
(43:39):
It's like when you're like, hey, we need to get some new bowls
for a house.
And it's like like gray Play,like no art, like it, like Any
semblance that humanity wasinvolved in any step.
It's like the most functionalbull.
(43:59):
Yeah, that's what this is.
Ryan (44:02):
It was like you if chatbot wrote a sci-fi fantasy.
James (44:06):
Yeah, it was just like and then they go to the planet
and they meet this man and thisman is like this, and then they
leave that place and they go tomeet this woman and it's and and
they tried to plant things, butthe way they planted them was
they just told you we areplanting this.
This is a piece of informationthat you should understand.
(44:28):
This is the next piece ofinformation, and and there was
no payoff, and I assume they're.
They want us to think oh, thisis part one, I can't wait to see
the payoff in part two.
And it's like no, people arenot like that.
Ryan (44:44):
I don't get.
People are not.
James (44:45):
I, I, I'm not like, oh, I can't wait two years to see if
if they actually do anythingwith G-man on Sue in this series
.
Ryan (44:56):
Now, I don't care now.
James (44:57):
I couldn't give a shit.
I Hope they all die.
It would have been amazing ifone of them died just to do
anything unexpected in thathippogriff scene.
There's like a scene where helike gets knocked off and then
he has to like run and leap offthe cliff and Grab onto the
hippogriff and there was nodoubt in anyone's mind that you
(45:20):
know going to succeed.
I would have loved for.
And he like his head getsfucking you cracked on a rock.
Ryan (45:40):
I would be, if that happened, edge of my seat, edge
of my fucking seat.
I would be like, oh my, youwere playing me.
You were playing me this wholetime.
You.
James (45:55):
The whole tone changes now that they're fucking slaves
on this outpost.
It turns into like a horrormovie when where they're like
the fucking Texas chainsawfamily and they've got them
chained up.
Ryan (46:09):
That would be a movie.
But you, I would have toexplain, to like people like
yeah, okay, trust me, trust me,make the beginnings dumb, the
beginnings dumb, but it's allfor a reason.
I'd be that crazy.
I'd be that crazy guy, yeah, yo, oh my god.
Well, any final what ifs?
James (46:31):
Let me, let me look through my notes here to see
what else I would change.
Let's see, oh, also that scenewhere blood acts of the sheared
metal through the windshield ofthe straight out avatar.
I got a shot.
The shot, the angle, everything.
Totally just take a straightrep I.
Let's see.
My last note is my last notethat I wrote was just I hate
(46:52):
this movie.
Ryan (46:58):
And that is a perfect place.
So there you have it, folks.
Thank you for joining our Rebelmoon batch podcast.
I Just gotta let you listenersknow that we picked several
movies.
We went in blind.
We were really excited to seerebel moon.
You know we want to seepositive shit, but there was
(47:19):
nothing positive to say aboutthis piece of shit.
James (47:23):
We were like you're like, oh man, I heard that he got
some, like he got around theStar Wars pad and he was able to
make it different enough.
This is like exactly what wewanted.
That's.
That's the mindset we went intothis.
Ryan (47:33):
That's how I pitched it.
That is how I pitched it.
James (47:37):
Yeah, the first scene Another good thing to say that
first scene where she's like onthe planet working the the the
field with the horse and they'renot saying anything.
Right, she's using the plow,she's pulling the rock out of
the path.
I was like, oh damn, this movieis already good.
Like like this is like Goodshot, like giving us some
information about the character.
And that was the last time thathappened.
Ryan (47:59):
The last time you learned about her through her actions
fucking hell.
Yeah, the last time you learnedabout her through her actions.
The only other things that youlearn through her actions is
that she is willing to walk awayfrom a Currently occurring
sexual assault for about 360seconds, but After that, though
(48:27):
she wish she will, she will killeverybody.
That's.
That's all we learned about her.
James (48:33):
There was also in that scene.
There were people just sittingat tables in the background.
Did you notice that?
Did?
Ryan (48:38):
you notice that people just sitting around.
James (48:41):
Yeah, just chillin while this gunfight was happening.
I, I don't know.
It happened at the bar scenetoo.
Ryan (48:47):
Well, I think the most bizarre thing was the rape has
been stopped, everyone's deadand the entire assembled town
Marches in the next second, likethey were.
Just wait, like they gab.
They have a gathering place Towait for potential rapes to end
and then they walk in.
James (49:10):
They heard a gun battle and then we're like all the
gunfire has stopped as far as weknow.
Let's all walk toward it now.
Ryan (49:20):
I like when, when the whole town marched in.
I thought this thing wasdirected by Mel Brooks.
James (49:30):
No, brooks would have made this very fun.
He made.
Ryan (49:37):
Like that's what the fuck is this Dracula dead and loving.
It was so weird.
Well, there you have it, folks.
Yeah, we hate this movie, butwe're not a podcast about hating
movies.
It was just a bad movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well we ourlast movie.
James (49:55):
we enjoyed, we love that, oh yeah.
Ryan (49:57):
Yeah, yeah yeah we enjoyed the one.
Yeah, we had a lot to see ifyou listen.
If you're listening to this one, hopefully listen to the last
one, where we're equalopportunity around here.
So, all right, everybody don'tjust hate movies.
James (50:10):
It's gonna go back and forth, I bet.
Ryan (50:12):
Yeah, I think so too.
All right, everybody.
Thanks for listening.
This is high and dry podcast.
Bye I.
about the way the book is , though it's not surprising,
because the book is just like aton of exposition.
Yeah, yeah.
So I mean, what were they?
Ryan (00:07):
going to do?
What were they going to do?
Yeah, but when you?
That's not even a movie we'reon today.
Oh yeah, welcome to High andDry podcast, the only podcast
keeping alive the fandom of DrQuinn medicine woman.
Keeping that going right here.
James (00:27):
I watched Dr Quinn a lot with my grandparents.
Ryan (00:30):
How big Dr Quinn fan, and that's why that's why I first
reached out to you was to getthat sort of insight on this
show.
So everyone, welcome to theshow, the, our podcast.
We're going to talk aboutthings pop culture, historical,
little philosophy and what makesus so special is that we're
going to do it really drunk andreally high.
(00:51):
So let's jump right on into it.
James, what are you smokingthis week?
James (00:56):
Oh yeah, this week I've got, I've got a nice flower
called cereal milk.
Okay, all right, all right Likethe like the milk that's left
behind after you have a bowl ofcereal.
It is concentrated euphoria.
It's very good.
Ryan (01:13):
Interesting.
I'm excited to see how thatplays out with today's episode.
I'll be joining you.
I just the last episode.
I brought out my weekend poor.
I couldn't bring out a weekendpoor for for that hot piece of
garbage we just watched.
James (01:29):
So it's got to be something that makes you angry.
Did you get tequila?
Ryan (01:34):
No, I got old number seven , jack Daniels.
Great, yeah, yeah.
So if you're watching this,show you I don't think I need to
explain the subtle notes JackDaniels, old number seven.
So you know, it's your gasstation whiskey gets the job
done through the week, andthat's what we're going to do
here today.
So this first one goes out to,I guess, the film we're going to
(02:00):
be talking about, which is ZackSnyder's new thing he created.
James (02:06):
It's a movie, it's a movie.
Ryan (02:09):
He made a movie.
We're going to be talking aboutRebel Moon, so this one, this
one goes out to Rebel Moon, andI think this will be the first
and last nice thing we have tosay.
So cheers to Rebel Moon, cheers.
Oh, that's smooth.
Yeah, say what you want aboutold number seven.
(02:29):
You know people, you know it's30 bucks gets the job done.
I like the taste.
I don't care, but I mean if youthink about like whiskey
historically as a alcohol.
James (02:42):
It wasn't like like.
Whiskey now doesn't resemblewhiskey 100 years ago or
whatever in the slightest.
You know whiskey now is wayless proof than what it was in
the past.
In the past it was way higherproof and it was always watered
down like purposely.
Ryan (02:59):
Yeah, not I like.
The one I did yesterday was a.
That was 100 proof, if Iremember right, and Jack Daniels
is only a 40%, so you could getmore done with it.
You know you could drink longer.
Yeah, our next shot, next toast, next hit what's this one?
(03:22):
To what do you think?
James (03:24):
This one goes out to the, the poor souls who decided to
jump in and watch Rebel Moon assoon as it drops, without
reading any reviews.
Cheers.
Ryan (03:41):
Cheers.
James (03:42):
Honestly, though, I don't have only bad things to say
about this movie.
There are some good parts.
You know the visuals.
Visuals were pretty steady.
Ryan (03:52):
Yeah, no, the visuals were a little reminded me very much
of the 300.
Was that Zack?
James (03:59):
Snyder Was, wasn't it, I think?
I think Zack Snyder did direct300, which would make sense, I
think.
I think that his style is alittle static, like he has a
specific style.
Ryan (04:15):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it's time for a thirdshot, third toast, third hit.
Okay, I think people are prettyclear already.
We have some very strongopinions on this film.
But I have nothing against ZackSnyder.
I like a few of the things he'sdone, so this one, let's.
Let's do one to him.
James (04:33):
Yeah, here's the toast.
Zack Snyder is going to needthis one.
Yeah, we're about to tear India.
Yeah.
Ryan (04:41):
Zack, you might want to line them up too.
So buckle up.
And I'd like to tell the peopleyou know listening right now
that we have not jumped intothis discussion already.
I mean, we, we sent a fewsarcastic text messages, I guess
, back and forth in between.
(05:03):
It took me two days to watchthis fucking thing.
So yeah, fresh discussion on it.
So how we do this, how we'regoing to do this episode at
least, is we're going to breakdown the three parts.
Our first part we're going togo into our sober thoughts.
Right now, all the the herb andthe alcohol are working their
way into our bloodstream.
Then we're going to go into ourin vino veritas portion, where
(05:25):
we're going to let the higherlevel of our consciousness come
out, really going to talk aboutthis fucking piece of garbage.
And then we're going to end itwith a what if?
Scenario.
We're going to throw James andmyself into this movie and we're
going to ask, guy, what if youwere there?
So going into the first thing.
So, james, what are your soberthoughts?
Man, rebel moons X, snyder, howdo you feel about it?
James (05:47):
Okay.
So, like we've already stated,visuals are pretty cool.
You get a lot of greatspaceship and sci fi visuals,
you see, you see some aliensPretty interesting.
Ryan (06:02):
There's that squid thing that was like fucking the bad
guy.
James (06:05):
Yeah, that squid thing.
I was, I was interested in thesquid thing, but they also had.
They kind of had that already.
They did that in ant man, whichalso, like I've got some
comparisons to draw here We'llget to that there wasn't a lot,
there wasn't.
I don't know if there wasanything new in this film, and I
think that's the part thatreally affected how I feel about
(06:28):
it.
How, what do you think?
Ryan (06:30):
Yeah, right off the bat.
I mean you have a.
I mean I thought it was like ashot for shot.
Remake of Samurai seven, orwhat was the?
The western version?
Yeah, Blazing saddles, that'sit.
James (06:51):
This magnificent, seven magnificent seven, magnificent
seven.
Ryan (06:55):
Yeah, it was, it was.
It was a shot-for-shot remake.
It was a samurai seven film.
Yeah, and Everith, it was thetropiest.
It was the tropiest film I haveseen in forever.
This is a hero's journey, right, it wasn't even it.
James (07:13):
Well, yeah, sort of Kinda so someone wrote a list, like a
grocery list, about the hero'sjourney, and then that was the
movie.
Ryan (07:23):
Well, I I got five minutes into it and I was exhausted.
I was absolutely exhaustedbecause we've been through these
intros 200 times.
There was an episode ofMandalorian that covered the
whole movie.
I don't know if you ever woundup watching the series, but I
watched like four episodes andthey were all the same they were
(07:45):
all I was like.
James (07:46):
I was like I've seen this episode three times already and
then I couldn't watch anymore.
Ryan (07:50):
Well, yeah, no, you could watch the first episode of
season, last episode of theseason, then everything in
between is interchangeable.
James (07:57):
But we're not here to bash great but, but it brings up
a great point.
That's exactly what this moviedoes too.
Ryan (08:03):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, well, especially becausethey had to do pit stops to find
their seven heroes, one of whomAny of those try them any of
those could have been movedaround.
James (08:14):
You could have any of those scenes around and it
wouldn't have mattered the onehad done a damn thing.
Ryan (08:20):
Wouldn't have done a damn thing and also I felt that at
least the first half of themovie that they're so.
Normally in a story You'resupposed to have an event,
characters react to the vent.
Characters make a decision andthen follow the new decision.
They instead Zack Snyderdecided that he is going to
(08:41):
characters see sexual assault,respond to the sexual assault
and Then let the world happenbecause they responded to the
sexual assault and that led themthrough like three fucking
planets.
James (08:53):
I don't know.
I think that's a.
It was a really strange impetusfor action On the part of
someone who has, who had seen,you know already, horrors, right
, I assume that was her like hertipping point.
But man, they just really, theyreally just went.
It was.
(09:14):
It was like doing fetch questsin a video game video games I
think this is a good analogy isthat video games can be like
these amazing stories, that thatengage you and Immerse you in a
world and activities, or theycan also be like a series of
fetch quests that are notimmersive or engaging at all.
We're just like we got to go dothis thing.
(09:35):
I'm gonna go do this thingcheck, check, check box, check
box.
You know, check my menu.
Yeah, I did all the things.
Okay, I guess that was the endof the quest.
I could have been any part ofthe quest, I don't know.
And you know some people saywhat are you talking about?
This does everything you askfor in a hero's journey and it's
like well, it's the things thatdifferentiate it from the
(09:55):
checklist that make a movie goodor great.
Ryan (10:00):
Well, I was.
I was after I finished it.
I was reading some of thereviews just to see where we
compared and I think it was like22 on rotten tomatoes or some
such that sounds about right.
Yeah, and but this ex-kniter, hedeveloped sort of that
following During his the DCwhole thing and yeah it looks
(10:22):
like looks like his, his boysare out in force, just sort of
arguing for the film, and I sawa lot of it was so powerful and
Like to be powerful.
In my opinion, you have to havesomething to say, yeah.
James (10:40):
What is this saying?
Rape rape is bad Got it.
Ryan (10:45):
Yeah, we were already clear on that.
James (10:50):
Cartoon cartoonish villainy is unacceptable.
You can quote, you can quote meon that.
Ryan (11:00):
Vicious snidely whip lash.
Who fucks a squid Jesus.
Christ, but yeah, I'm a moviein my opinion, to be powerful
you have to have something tosay, and I don't know what he
was trying to say there and mylittle last sober thought on it
in, in my opinion, was what thefuck was with just the fire hose
(11:28):
of Exposition?
James (11:37):
You know, you know the old, you know the old adage for
writers tell, don't show.
Yeah, it was just non stop andwhy, why, why would you use the
visual medium when you can justhave a character sit and look
right into the camera and Tellyou everything they're thinking
and feeling?
Ryan (11:57):
and why, oh, oh my god, and you could see it in her face
when she was getting ready toshare her history with us.
Because some that, that onedude who just, he, he just has
such a punchable face.
James (12:12):
Yeah, he.
He didn't deserve to be on thistrip.
He was like just dragged alongfor no reason, don't you Do?
They love each other.
Ryan (12:26):
I missed it she was talking.
James (12:28):
Is it because they had a conversation like, wow, nobody's
a fucking talk, so it's onlytwo people?
Ryan (12:34):
Well, yeah, in this universe, apparently the only
way people together get togetheris sexual assault.
So him talking to her was just,and she, you know, is obviously
love was gonna happen.
But yeah, it was funny.
I could say he's just got thisreally fucking punchable face.
And exactly who I was talkingabout.
(12:54):
He was like that in Game ofThrones too.
He he was Khaleesi's manconcubine, was he after the?
After the actor got swapped out.
James (13:05):
Oh, that's right.
Ryan (13:06):
Yes.
James (13:07):
I was like where is this guy from All?
I know is that I hate him.
Ryan (13:12):
Exactly the first dude, the first dude who played that
character, khaleesi's maleconcubine.
He played it as this superegotistical douchebag.
James (13:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is how, which is how Iwas, I really liked and he
didn't like great attention.
Ryan (13:27):
It did it great, you know, but like.
And then he just kind of laidback the dude who took over and
who is following our leadcharacter through Rebel moon.
He's just like, like his faceis constantly mansplaining,
something about like he's justgot this way about him and I
don't know your name, man, and Iknow you're listening right now
(13:49):
.
James (13:50):
His name is Michael Heisman Huy s man.
I assume it's Heisman, but Idon't know well, it's like no
peace.
Ryan (13:59):
There's no way he was trying to look like that through
this, but like he's just gotthis really this attitude that
you really do just want to punchhim Well.
I don't know, and I feel, Ifeel bad like so.
We, you know, we were lookingat some movies that we want to
do for the oh dude he was in theinvitation and I wanted to
(14:21):
punch him the entire time.
Oh my god, he's the douchebagnew guy, oh my god, you want to
punch him the entire time.
I'm so bad.
All right, michael, I apologize.
I just realized that the reasonwe want to punch you is because
in the invitation you did sucha good job of being that guy
(14:43):
that it's now ingrained in me I.
James (14:47):
What it is.
I think we've we've typecasthim in our head that we want a
bunch of yeah, it's because theinvitation invitation, though,
by the way, great movie greatmovie.
Don't ask me if it's good movie.
I talked to the entire thing.
Ryan (15:01):
But awesome movie, awesome movie.
If you haven't seen theinvitation, go check that out.
We're talking about Rebel Moontoday, but if you can, go see
the invitation.
James (15:12):
Sorry, hold on.
That's the invitation from 2015.
Ryan (15:14):
Yes, you know, featuring the douchebag from Rebel Moon.
If you've seen Rebel Moon, youknow who I'm talking about.
And it wasn't even sons ofanarchy who betrayed them.
We're talking about the dudewho's like the douchebag.
Well, so that's, that's a goodpoint.
So now it's time, then, for me,at least I, I'm gonna.
I need another drink.
(15:35):
I.
James (15:36):
Got to talk about this guy more.
I had to Character.
His character is just that hedoesn't do anything.
The whole story.
The only thing we know abouthim is that he's gonna sell to
the highest bidder, whatever Is.
That is, that he does commerceand he's willing to do.
Ryan (15:59):
Any kind of and in the end she's like.
James (16:02):
I love you.
The embodiment of the freemarket with no risk.
Ryan (16:12):
Well, so for those of you who Are trying to figure out
where the hell we're at in theshow, we have entered into our
second portion of this, where,where we are accessing our
drunken minds to reach a higherunderstanding and to really like
, massage the meaning out of thefibers of Rebel Moon's muscles.
(16:32):
So here's to that douchebagfrom the invitation, though I'm
gonna have one more to reallyget there, cheers.
James (16:41):
I'm gonna supplement with some green crack concentrate.
Ryan (16:47):
I'm just going to take an extra big gulp.
Eject Daniels.
James (16:53):
So yeah now.
So oh, he did nothing he didnothing.
You love him, you love him,don't you.
Ryan (17:09):
And the father, who was turning into sort of an
interesting character, got hisass beat to death by a cave.
James (17:17):
I was like the second most interesting character in
the movie.
Yeah, he killed very early.
The single most interestingcharacter in the movie was the
fucking robot.
They abandoned, yeah, 25minutes.
I was like that character isthe best fucking character in
this movie.
What's wrong with you?
Ryan (17:37):
No, and they are, but he.
James (17:42):
And then they came back at the I don't want to ruin the
spoiler alert at the end of themovie they come back and this,
this character's clearly been ona journey that I would have
liked to have seen instead ofthis movie.
The robot had like antlers onhis head and you're like why are
the fuck did he get antlers?
What animal are they from?
(18:02):
How is he now like makingdecisions about his appearance
and stuff related?
To humanity, a much bettermovie that I would rather have
seen instead of the piece ofgarbage.
Ryan (18:14):
A much better movie ran out the barn door after after
stopping a rape and just justnot there, just out in the woods
having a much better movie.
What would have been amazing,what would have been absolutely
(18:35):
amazing, at least if they kindof tipped the hat to that
concept.
If they make it back to theplanet, they've gathered their
heroes, they survived thebetrayal.
Obviously, seven people wouldbe hopelessly outnumbered
against the space Nazis.
They're getting just friggingmassacred.
And then here comes Antlerrobot bounding back to the field
(18:58):
.
James (19:00):
That you know that would be unexpected.
Ryan (19:03):
That would be the first thing in that movie that was.
James (19:07):
Yeah, you can't have anything in this movie.
That's unexpected.
It's a rule.
Well, all right.
Ryan (19:12):
So for for the mind opening portion of it, can you
give, bring anything to thetable?
Can we think of anything aboutthis?
Is there any praise that wecould sing for this movie?
James (19:25):
You know because they like they got.
They got Chimon Honsu on thecast.
That was good.
He's always great in everymovie.
He got to say like three linesof dialogue which I feel like
you could have got more he wasaround, yeah, yeah, they had him
and he was.
He was like.
(19:46):
As soon as I saw him, I waslike, yeah, and then he was gone
.
Ryan (19:52):
Well, and then I would say , even so, the bad guy I've seen
him in something before andhe's always a bad guy he has
those super defined cheekbonesthat he has Nazi face, he has
perpetual Nazi face.
Yeah, he's got Nazi face.
He's a great bad guy and I feelhe was definitely a great
choice.
James (20:12):
He's bad guy in Deadpool.
Ryan (20:14):
That's it.
Yes, yes, he's got Nazi, andeven I think Deadpool references
something like that, when yeah,that's where I know him from he
was the bad guy in the firstDeadpool.
Wow, he has an age today.
James (20:25):
Yeah.
Ryan (20:27):
Good for him, good for him , yeah, yeah, good for him.
He's like he didn't write thescript, it wasn't his fault, you
know, unless we find out likebehind, like they released the
Snyder cut of the Snyder movieand he comes out in like the
behind where they're talkingabout it and it's all in black
(20:47):
and white and he's like Irequested that squid scene.
I.
They didn't want to do it, theythought it would make an
off-putting movie even moreoff-putting, but I insisted.
James (21:05):
I think you know the professional Nazi face and I
think he, I think he's a goodactor, I think I've seen him.
He's a good villain.
Yeah, for sure.
It was a little heavy-handedwith the not like okay.
So I guess here's.
I give it to Zack Snyder forthis, even though I'd say it's
very heavy-handed.
Maybe the audience he'spointing toward needs a
(21:25):
heavy-handed approach, but theywere very directly Nazis in
their military uniforms.
Ryan (21:33):
Oh yeah.
James (21:33):
So he was, he was.
He was very much like look it,this guy's a Nazi.
And then when they went to showhim, he looked like when, when
he wasn't in his armor, helooked like Richard Spencer.
And you know it's he who is awhite nationalist.
He's, he was, he was.
He's famous for getting punchedin the face and having that
(21:56):
memeified and remixed.
My favorite one is when is whenthe Sonic rings come out?
When he's hit?
Ryan (22:04):
Mwah chef's kiss.
James (22:06):
But he's like he's a neo-Nazi and they made him look
like a, you know, a skinny blacktie, white collar looking guy
with that, with that high cuthaircut, because they gave him a
black tie.
Yes, they gave him a skinnyblack tie.
Ryan (22:21):
Dude, that was wild when I first saw it.
You're like he had the jacketoff and I'm like whoa he's
wearing it.
What the hell it was, yeah.
James (22:28):
And then the big fight.
He's fighting in a collar and atie, which is very funny.
Ryan (22:36):
It was so bizarre.
It was a wildly out of place.
Yeah, I'm being taken on anadventure through space and I
can't stop looking at this tie.
James (22:47):
He got transported from an office somewhere and then
immediately fell into the roleof Nazi because just because he
was a modern day whitenationalist, so that was.
I found that very funny.
While heavy handed, it draws adirect parallel between Nazis
and the alt right, which I'mgrateful for.
Yes.
Ryan (23:07):
Thank you.
James (23:08):
Excited for for doing that.
Yes, Nazis are bad.
I think the artist, well he.
So he did something that isactually fairly controversial,
which is drawing a direct linebetween Nazis and the alt right.
It's still very controversialto do that in mainstream America
(23:29):
, and so he did it, and I'm verygrateful it's very heavy handed
it's very, it's not veryartistic, but he did it.
Ryan (23:40):
Well, I mean, you know, I've met a lot of people I mean
out in Vegas especially a lot ofpeople there were.
Education is the greatest thingin the world, and there's been
more than once where I've had toexplain the events of World War
two.
Yeah, so maybe, maybe that'swhat he was trying to do.
Maybe you know zigzag Sniderson the other side of this
(24:03):
microphone right now justlistening on his drive, you know
, to whatever he does onChristmas and tears welling in
his eyes just trying to likehe's just screaming back into
the radio saying that I did itfor people who don't know what
Nazis are.
They're bad.
James (24:24):
You know, maybe, maybe he did this whole movie for people
who've never seen a moviebefore or who've never seen like
an action adventure or a StarWars or anything like that.
We've never seen that before.
It's like, oh, all theseinteresting characters, because
(24:44):
I think this is really importantwhat he did was he made a bunch
of short clips.
He made a bunch of short clipsof characters introducing
themselves and having theirbackstory explained to us and he
just he just mushed all thosein there in a different, in an
order, you like, clipped them upand put a minister in order and
all it is is just, it's like aprimer, it's like a, it's like a
(25:07):
portfolio full of superheroesis what he did.
Yeah, and, and he didn't makeit.
The problem is you didn't makeit interesting in between.
Ryan (25:15):
Not at all.
James (25:16):
It's really important that your movie also has to be
interesting and not just an infodump.
But I don't know if he just didthis for people who've never
seen movies before.
Ryan (25:27):
If that's the case, yeah, yeah.
If that's the case, put adisclaimer out.
God damn, you know let me know.
James (25:36):
I want this to be the first time you've ever been
introduced to anything sci-fi oranything action adventure that
I want you to have only watchedlike dramas and like the jackass
movies, and that's it.
And then you come to this andyou're like what the fuck movie
ever?
They got a fucking eagle birdthing.
What the fuck is going on?
Ryan (26:02):
Well, and so, sadly for me , it was originally pitched to
me as a Star Wars alternative,because I'm one of the many who
feel like there was a.
We've brought them up twice now, but there was a meme I forget
the movie, but it was AndrewGarfield where another character
(26:25):
in the film asks him like, doyou hate it?
He's like yeah, no, it'scomplicated, and I've become one
of those people where I lovewhat Star Wars was, but I hate,
loathe, what they've done to it.
(26:47):
And so it was built to me as ahaven for us where we can go
enjoy a world like that again,without Disney's dick prints all
over it.
James (27:02):
I think all he did when he was like Disney's not doing
the right thing was like we needblood.
You gotta put there's no,there's no blood in it.
As long as there's blood in it,that makes it.
That's what.
That's where everyone's missing, right, she's put some blood.
Ryan (27:18):
Yeah, man, there's no blood when you're, when your
limbs are cauterized by a lasersword dude.
James (27:22):
It's like Also, what took that woman so long to turn on
her laser swords?
Who was she waiting for?
Ryan (27:29):
I have no idea.
James (27:31):
When she turned on the laser swords I was like that was
an option the whole time.
Ryan (27:35):
What were you doing?
She was just making sure thather hat was perfectly askew.
She wanted to get a scarecrow.
Look, she was going for.
God damn it.
James (27:46):
It's only fair if I let my enemy kick the shit out of me
for a little while before Ikill them the brutal shit out of
me too, Like holy crap.
Yeah, and I was like and thatwas a note I made was who?
Who was this for?
Does she know there's a camerafollowing her?
Does she know that we'reobserving?
(28:09):
And she's like wait till theysee me turn on my fucking laser
swords.
I was actually fighting with myhand behind my back and then
she's like, and then she's like.
And then she's like this isserious, this is not cool, this
is not.
Yeah, every who walks to me islike good job killing.
This is not celebratory, and Iwas fighting with one hand
(28:29):
behind my back and also fuck youfor thinking this is supposed
to be cool yeah.
Ryan (28:34):
Like well, why were you?
Making a spectacle out of it.
I.
James (28:38):
God and it's, it's that shit over and over in this movie
.
Ryan (28:42):
Oh, constantly, constantly , like every character except
grain counter, who just wantedto let you know he believed in
the free market.
They were all just waiting fortheir moment to be like yo check
this shit out.
I don't want to, you know, Idon't want to say nothing, but
(29:03):
I'm kind of a badass and oh Ithat.
And every time it happened,every time it happened, I had to
turn it off and that's why thefilm took me two days to finish.
A two hour film took me 48hours to get through and oh,
shit.
James (29:23):
I watched it straight through.
It felt about that long.
Oh my God, jim, on Hansu, Ithink I touched you this one.
So Jim, on Hansu's character isat a Coliseum.
He's like a space general who'slike taken over a Coliseum or
some shit.
They're like he's at theColiseum, anyone who gets close
(29:46):
to him.
You got to watch out whathappens.
And so they like build them upand then they go to get him and
they just kind of like wash himoff and shave him and they're
like you want to come with us?
And he says yes, and it's likehow do you waste a space
Coliseum?
What the fuck that's Chekhov'sgun 101 is to be like.
(30:08):
If you introduce anything cool,you should do something with
this Like yeah, we got a spaceColiseum but over here you got
to look over back on the shipand tell you about how cool the
Coliseum is.
Ryan (30:22):
Over here, the ex-Nazi girl who was hiding with the
farmers.
She has some more shit to say.
James (30:29):
What the fuck they passed my four good movies on their
way to the end of this shittyone.
Ryan (30:40):
I understand that today, everyone, they just consume
TikTok and YouTube.
Everything's 30 seconds long,everything like that.
That's fine, I get it.
The world's changing.
But in this new world, if youdecide to make a movie, there's
certain rules.
All right, chekhov's gun, youknow show, don't tell.
Basic shit, basic shit.
(31:02):
You know.
I make way less than ZackSnyder, way fucking less.
I make way less than thewriters of this movie and
there's basic rules that theydidn't know and that just drives
me crazy.
That drives me fucking insane.
James (31:21):
I loved you know, and to your point, when you're saying
this, this basic shit thatdrives you insane, the very like
the last scene where they allget captured and the Nazi guy
walks around and like, points atthem and says here are the
exploits you did, here's yourname and the exploits you did,
here's your name.
Ryan (31:44):
I was like, please stop.
They already did thisthemselves.
That's all it was, and all itwas the whole movie was these
assholes talking about how coolthey were.
James (31:57):
You don't need to do it too.
If they, if they'd done thatlike 10 minutes into this movie
and then like expounded on thesepeople like the rest of the
movie I would have, that wouldhave been a ton better.
I think that would be hilariousif they turn it Okay.
So I actually had this thoughtand I texted you.
(32:17):
This is like okay.
So I want to talk really quickabout postmodernism as a concept
, which I don't know if ourlisteners are familiar with,
postmodernism and art.
But what it is is thatpostmodernism has you assume
things based on the tenants ofour modern era and modernist
(32:38):
media.
So it's like so you say,someone goes on a quest, they
see, they see something happenand they're affected by it
because of something in theirpast.
That is a modern trope, right?
Postmodernism would say okay,we're going to take that thing
and reference it in a way thatenhances your experience as a
(32:58):
viewer.
And what kind of happenssometimes when people are
post-modernist is that theyforget the second part and they
just reference the thing thatyou've already seen and don't
enhance your experience at all.
Ryan (33:14):
Yeah, that was.
James (33:15):
And that was this entire fucking movie.
Ryan (33:17):
That was just.
Yeah, that was this movie.
James (33:21):
I had a thought where it's like maybe this movie, when
he was pointing at them andtelling them everything they've
done, I thought for a second,maybe this is a post-modern
masterpiece, that is like.
So I had this thought and Ithought that this movie was
flipping just the entire hero'sjourney on its head, like right
(33:41):
at the end.
I didn't understand because Iwas so confused by everything
I'd seen.
Yeah, I thought that what itwas doing was making a comment
about us, the viewer, and it wasjust like hey, you know all of
these things.
Nothing is surprising.
I just sat for two hours andtold you all of these things.
I'm telling you already thatcould be done literally just in
(34:04):
a checklist that we're going onand you sat and watched it and
you're happy about it, but thenI realized that that does not
enhance your viewing in any way.
He did not do anything.
If it had been a comedy, ifthis would be a stupid excuse,
(34:24):
less seriously, it would havebeen so much better.
Ryan (34:29):
Oh yeah, for sure, yeah, no, and I think there it is.
And with that being said, it isdefinitely time to move on to
our third segment of this show,where we're going to go into the
what ifs of Rebel Moon.
This is Rebel Moon what ifs,season one.
So what we're going to do nowis we're going to insert
(34:53):
ourselves.
We're going to insert ourselvesand or drugs and alcohol into
this movie and we're going todiscuss how it would have gone
down just a little bitdifferently.
So, james, you've been, so youjust watched like the father get
his ass fucking handed to himfor no reason and you're
(35:17):
watching an interestingcharacter and you're wondering
why Interesting character Justdied and which drove me.
Oh, I was so pissed because Iwas looking at him and he's got
that huge fucking beard.
He's bald, but his eyes,they're like so familiar to me
and I realized that he was themain character of the strain and
(35:39):
that's where he struck me wasfrom the strain.
I was really eager to see whathe's going to do next and I
figured that douchebag,punchable douchebag, was just
some side dude from fucking Gameof Thrones.
He's about to die, cool, andI'm going to get to follow this
father guy as he lays down somespace wisdom and then yeah, the
(36:08):
right path is commerce, becauseyou get to both deal with and
betray Nazis when you do that.
Like I was so angry at that partbecause I was excited to see
what this guy could do in, youknow, in an epic sci-fi fantasy,
so that really broke my heart.
James (36:30):
But anyway, we're going to kill anything interesting.
I want you to know at thebeginning of this movie anything
interesting is going to die.
Nah that's a wrap.
Ryan (36:38):
It's not happening.
It's not happening.
Don't even worry about it.
James (36:41):
Well, so.
James you've been inserted.
Ryan (36:45):
You've been inserted, what changes immediately in this
film?
James (36:49):
How does it go differently?
I run off with the robot.
We have a great movie together.
We like learn how to surviveand like we learn about how
nature works, because he's arobot, right.
Ryan (37:00):
So he has to become like in touch.
James (37:02):
He's going to call this new community home.
You can tell at the end thathe's grown significantly as a
character.
Ryan (37:08):
He's he now calls himself a new.
We just missed it.
James (37:12):
He now adorns himself with a trophy, some kind of
trophy from a wild animal.
So he's now he's gone on ajourney of personal like
reflection and growth as an, asan sentient AI, and and I'm
going to be along for thatjourney.
That journey is going to befucking dope.
And then, instead of this movie, I would, I would have a great
(37:34):
time and also, conversely, Iwould just turn this fucking
movie into a limited serieswhere we took an episode for
each of these people so youcould explain how cool they are,
instead of just telling me, ormaybe, maybe, just fucking flesh
(37:55):
out your character as eventsunfold, allow them to react in a
way that they naturally andtruly would, and from there, I
would have walked into thefucking Coliseum.
at least I would have one footin the fucking Coliseum that.
(38:15):
We flew across the goddamngalaxy to look at a famous
Coliseum and we're just like, oh, this guy's right outside the
front, I only have to go inside.
This is great.
Bye.
Ryan (38:28):
I bought the ticket.
I feel like I should see theshow.
James (38:31):
Oh my God, and it was and it was.
Another thing that makes itseem like a postmodern
masterpiece is that Jimon Honsuis in gladiator.
He's like in a much bettermovie about gladiators.
He's sitting outside thegladiator God see him.
And I don't know if the moviewants me to be like.
Do you remember gladiator andhow it had a disgraced general
(38:54):
in it and he was a badass?
Well, we should think of ourguy like that guy, and we don't
have to film anything.
You could just assume it inyour mind.
You create that story in yourhead and I don't have to do
anything, and then you care.
Ryan (39:13):
Well, so for me in the what if I had the hardest time
with this?
Because you would insert me and, like you know, I don't have
laser swords or some shit.
So what would wind up happening?
You'd be commerce guy, you know.
(39:33):
No, even worse, even worse.
So you know, I'd be there, Ithe only thing of any note I
brought is my bourbon collectionand that's my weapon.
And so I'm just wanderingaround half, you know blitz the
whole time.
And so she would start herexposition and I think we're
(39:56):
like, oh, we're drunk, we'redrunk, tell it, we're drunk over
sharing right now.
And so you would see her storyacting out like the way she was
talking about it, and theprincess ran off and was in the
woods and then all of a suddenthere'd be a record skip and,
like you know, you think that'sfucking bad.
You think that's bad and I'mjust drinking my bourbon going
(40:17):
like yo my house foreclosed, youknow, you have no fucking idea
how bad it gets out here.
And I would just be, I wouldjust be over sharing back at her
because I thought we're alldrunk and we're just over
sharing, and so that's how themovie would change with me and
(40:41):
the second thing that wouldhappen.
So I'd be cutting off all theirstories just to overshare
myself.
And then as things like oh youdo, you have no fucking idea.
James (40:54):
I was at this one girl once he's telling a story about
some massive battle to changethe fate of the universe.
He doesn't get to say anythingbecause you have a boring story
to tell.
I just cut him off this movie,you would fit right in with this
movie.
Ryan (41:13):
I'm like, do it one time man.
Like like, oh, it was the worstwinner ever.
I couldn't make any fuckingmoney.
The bank took my car and then,during, during the big fight,
the camera would keeprecognizing that I could not
take my attention off of theNazis tie.
You know, I have my my glassout and I'm just like you know,
(41:40):
I'm just watching the tie.
Through the fight I just saw ahippogriff.
James (41:47):
What are you wearing?
I'm wearing a hippogriff scene.
Fuck, you had me so furious.
I was like they literally tooktwo scenes from Harry Potter
where he meets a hippogriff andwhere he rides a dragon, and
they just, they just took thosescenes and put them directly
into this movie.
It was wild.
Ryan (42:10):
So and so after I'm just like so they get caught because
I'm not helping, I just I'mfixating on his tie and he's,
he's walking down the linepointing at them saying you did
this, this, this, and I'm likedude, that's like fucking
nothing, man, you know, you gotno idea what I.
James (42:29):
When you're strapped to the death chair.
Ryan (42:31):
Yeah, I'm strapped to the death chair.
I've just been fucking wastedthis whole movie gone to.
That's nothing, man, all right.
James (42:46):
That would be a better movie.
Ryan (42:50):
I was at Ozfest once right and static ex came out, fucking
blew my mind and that would be,and I'd get killed at that
point right there.
He'd stab me in the stomachJust so he could finish his
exposition.
And yeah, I think that's that,that's my what, if at least
(43:12):
You'd, you'd you'd interrupt, sothey did.
James (43:17):
I think what they were doing, which is this is not how
you make a movie I wish that waswhat I could convey with all of
this is this is not how youshould make a movie.
What they were doing is Plantand payoff, but they had no
payoff and then their plantingwasn't even that good.
Their planting was the mostblatant, least artistic.
(43:39):
It's like when you're like, hey, we need to get some new bowls
for a house.
And it's like like gray Play,like no art, like it, like Any
semblance that humanity wasinvolved in any step.
It's like the most functionalbull.
(43:59):
Yeah, that's what this is.
Ryan (44:02):
It was like you if chatbot wrote a sci-fi fantasy.
James (44:06):
Yeah, it was just like and then they go to the planet
and they meet this man and thisman is like this, and then they
leave that place and they go tomeet this woman and it's and and
they tried to plant things, butthe way they planted them was
they just told you we areplanting this.
This is a piece of informationthat you should understand.
(44:28):
This is the next piece ofinformation, and and there was
no payoff, and I assume they're.
They want us to think oh, thisis part one, I can't wait to see
the payoff in part two.
And it's like no, people arenot like that.
Ryan (44:44):
I don't get.
People are not.
James (44:45):
I, I, I'm not like, oh, I can't wait two years to see if
if they actually do anythingwith G-man on Sue in this series
.
Ryan (44:56):
Now, I don't care now.
James (44:57):
I couldn't give a shit.
I Hope they all die.
It would have been amazing ifone of them died just to do
anything unexpected in thathippogriff scene.
There's like a scene where helike gets knocked off and then
he has to like run and leap offthe cliff and Grab onto the
hippogriff and there was nodoubt in anyone's mind that you
(45:20):
know going to succeed.
I would have loved for.
And he like his head getsfucking you cracked on a rock.
Ryan (45:40):
I would be, if that happened, edge of my seat, edge
of my fucking seat.
I would be like, oh my, youwere playing me.
You were playing me this wholetime.
You.
James (45:55):
The whole tone changes now that they're fucking slaves
on this outpost.
It turns into like a horrormovie when where they're like
the fucking Texas chainsawfamily and they've got them
chained up.
Ryan (46:09):
That would be a movie.
But you, I would have toexplain, to like people like
yeah, okay, trust me, trust me,make the beginnings dumb, the
beginnings dumb, but it's allfor a reason.
I'd be that crazy.
I'd be that crazy guy, yeah, yo, oh my god.
Well, any final what ifs?
James (46:31):
Let me, let me look through my notes here to see
what else I would change.
Let's see, oh, also that scenewhere blood acts of the sheared
metal through the windshield ofthe straight out avatar.
I got a shot.
The shot, the angle, everything.
Totally just take a straightrep I.
Let's see.
My last note is my last notethat I wrote was just I hate
(46:52):
this movie.
Ryan (46:58):
And that is a perfect place.
So there you have it, folks.
Thank you for joining our Rebelmoon batch podcast.
I Just gotta let you listenersknow that we picked several
movies.
We went in blind.
We were really excited to seerebel moon.
You know we want to seepositive shit, but there was
(47:19):
nothing positive to say aboutthis piece of shit.
James (47:23):
We were like you're like, oh man, I heard that he got
some, like he got around theStar Wars pad and he was able to
make it different enough.
This is like exactly what wewanted.
That's.
That's the mindset we went intothis.
Ryan (47:33):
That's how I pitched it.
That is how I pitched it.
James (47:37):
Yeah, the first scene Another good thing to say that
first scene where she's like onthe planet working the the the
field with the horse and they'renot saying anything.
Right, she's using the plow,she's pulling the rock out of
the path.
I was like, oh damn, this movieis already good.
Like like this is like Goodshot, like giving us some
information about the character.
And that was the last time thathappened.
Ryan (47:59):
The last time you learned about her through her actions
fucking hell.
Yeah, the last time you learnedabout her through her actions.
The only other things that youlearn through her actions is
that she is willing to walk awayfrom a Currently occurring
sexual assault for about 360seconds, but After that, though
(48:27):
she wish she will, she will killeverybody.
That's.
That's all we learned about her.
James (48:33):
There was also in that scene.
There were people just sittingat tables in the background.
Did you notice that?
Did?
Ryan (48:38):
you notice that people just sitting around.
James (48:41):
Yeah, just chillin while this gunfight was happening.
I, I don't know.
It happened at the bar scenetoo.
Ryan (48:47):
Well, I think the most bizarre thing was the rape has
been stopped, everyone's deadand the entire assembled town
Marches in the next second, likethey were.
Just wait, like they gab.
They have a gathering place Towait for potential rapes to end
and then they walk in.
James (49:10):
They heard a gun battle and then we're like all the
gunfire has stopped as far as weknow.
Let's all walk toward it now.
Ryan (49:20):
I like when, when the whole town marched in.
I thought this thing wasdirected by Mel Brooks.
James (49:30):
No, brooks would have made this very fun.
He made.
Ryan (49:37):
Like that's what the fuck is this Dracula dead and loving.
It was so weird.
Well, there you have it, folks.
Yeah, we hate this movie, butwe're not a podcast about hating
movies.
It was just a bad movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well we ourlast movie.
James (49:55):
we enjoyed, we love that, oh yeah.
Ryan (49:57):
Yeah, yeah yeah we enjoyed the one.
Yeah, we had a lot to see ifyou listen.
If you're listening to this one, hopefully listen to the last
one, where we're equalopportunity around here.
So, all right, everybody don'tjust hate movies.
James (50:10):
It's gonna go back and forth, I bet.
Ryan (50:12):
Yeah, I think so too.
All right, everybody.
Thanks for listening.
This is high and dry podcast.
Bye I.
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