Reimagining "Nosferatu": Orlok's Romantic Comedy Fantasy

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High n' Dry takes "Nosferatu" and intertwines humor and horror while exploring deeper themes surrounding desire and repression. Through personal anecdotes and critical assessments, the discussion reveals the film's artistic merit and how it resonates with contemporary issues in vampire storytelling.

• Examination of cinematic techniques and symbolism 
• Personal stories linking to key film elements 
• Discussion of character arcs, particularly Dafoe 
• Analysis of the film's place in modern vampiric narratives 
• Exploration of community engagement and shared experiences

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I think now I'm good.
Let's talk about this horny-assvampire.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Let's, let's, hey everyone, welcome to High and
Dry Podcast, the only podcastkeeping alive the fandom, that
is Godzilla the series, and thatwas that short-lived cartoon
series based off of the Godzillafilm featuring Matthew
Broderick.
They decided to do an animatedfilm off of that and we're gonna

(00:25):
what get an animation style for?
This.
It lasted two years.
Two years, no way, yeah, and itwas just an animated cartoon
based on the Matthew BroderickGodzilla of 1998.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
People really shat on that movie but I personally
loved that movie.
I saw it at a drive-in.
It was back, it was back toback with can't hardly wait, and
I was like 13 years old and Icouldn't hardly wait for
godzilla nice.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Yeah, and I saw that matthew broderick one god, I
think.
I like I was in like fifthgrade or something like that,
and I was at a friend's house,um, but he's one of those, like
you remember, did you ever haveone of those friends whose
parents, like, had no ruleswhatsoever?
Oh yeah yeah, and so that thatkid in fifth grade introduced me
to like all the titties thatwere in movies it's, it's art,

(01:27):
it's cinema yeah, yeah, no,that's that's how I felt too
back then.
I was very just drawn into like,especially like the
juxtaposition of sexual themesacross a comedic you know medium
.
It was just very wild for me asthere was.
However old, you are?

Speaker 1 (01:44):
in fifth grade there was this one set of movies that
uh were like death wish.
What were they?
Um, it was, it was.
He was a teacher and he'd justgo around like murdering all the
students.
Uh, do you guys know what?

(02:04):
Do you guys know what I'mtalking about?
He?

Speaker 2 (02:06):
like if there was like gangs at a school.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
Jesus, I have no idea , but there was a.
There was a set of movies thatwere like yeah, kill those
teenage gang, urban gang memberswhite guy yeah.
Hell yeah, and.
And my parents loved thosemovies, so I got to see some
titties because they were shockmeanwhile, you're getting this

(02:33):
just fucking warped worldviewdumped on you yeah, subliminal
racism I'll add in awesome.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
So.
So anyway, guys, welcome tohigh and dry podcast.
Um, I'm your host, ryan baronnorth with me as always, james
crossland and luke.
How you guys doing today?

Speaker 1 (02:51):
good.
I'm doing excellent doing good.
I took about a five and a halfhour nap today, so it was nice,
I'm living the dream I'm runningoff of, uh, two hours of sleep
myself.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
I got called in for a drug test this morning at 4 am,
knew it was coming, and so Ididn't fall asleep until about
two ish, two thirty ish, andI've just been sort of running
off of my brain's inability tofall asleep now at this point.
So that's what I'm doing.
That's not a fuck, I'm doingwell.
So for those of you join us forthe first time, this is what

(03:26):
we're going to be doing.
We're not going to be talkingabout Godzilla the series.
We already know that.
You know everything about it.
So we're not going to we're notgoing to insult your
intelligence.
Oh shit, we're this today.
We're going to be it down inthree parts.
First, we're going to talkabout this film.

(03:46):
We're going to give you thedefinitive high and dry rating,
so you know what you're gettinginto.
We're going to get out of thegolden path and we're going to
talk about some of the moreintense themes of this
particular film that maybe youmissed, maybe you didn't.
And then we're going to insertourselves drugs and or alcohol
into the film and we ourselves,drugs and or alcohol into the

(04:10):
film.
We're going to see where thatgets us.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
But what makes it so fun and special is that we're
going to be doing a drunken high.
So, uh, fellas, what are yousmoking this week?
This time I've got, uh, gummymints.
Oh, it's called, yeah, it'scalled gummy mints, and it's an
indica.
It's not a gummy or a mint.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
No, no, no no, no, that's just what it's called
gummy mints and it's an indica.
It's not a gummy or a mint.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
No, no, no, no, no, that's just what it's called.
It's a dry ass flower.
I don't recommend chewing on it.
It's a.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Flintstone vitamin.
Oh yeah, I've got the same aslast week citrus cherry or
cherry citrus, whatever it is,and over here we're getting
ready for a snowstorm, so I hadto make sure I had a fresh
bottle and I picked up thisspecial edition for our Missouri
customers.

(04:56):
Only it's Knob Creek Select 120horsepower.
We're going to see whatMissouri tastes like.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
Awesome that looks gross.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yeah, probably this place is a shithole, no doubt
about it.
So let's line them up.
Let's line them up.
This first one goes out to ourfilm this week, which is
Nosferatu Cheers, boys, cheersthis week which is nosferatu
cheers, cheers all right, uhtastes like missouri what does

(05:33):
missouri taste like?
Like um, yeah, there's no,there's no infrastructure
holding it up.
I mean, there's a lot ofself-righteousness, a lot of
pride in a place that, no, isshitty.
Yeah, it's like that.
Oh, that sounds delicious.

(05:56):
Yeah, fuck you.
Missouri High and Dryofficially gives Missouri one
out of five stars.
No takesies-ies, no takesiesbacksies.
All right.
So our second shot, second hit,second toast.

(06:19):
Um, this one's gonna go out toour newest listeners, these ones
are coming at us from avon lake, ohio wow, yeah, very exotic
it's.
It's next to a lake in ohio,from what I understand.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, but in relevance to like an unknown
city couldn't tell you oh my god, guys, I've been searching for
this fucking movie for so longand then all I did was put
schlock at the end and it showedup.
It's called the substitute.
It's called the substitute.

(06:53):
That was the series of movies,and the first movie was like
more serious and it had um tomberenger oh god, I'm looking at,
I'm looking at the cover ofthis and you can oh, you could
just tell.
And it was like.
It was like this guy's like Idon't want to kill these kids,
you know I don't.
I hate the idea of likeshooting these drug dealer kids,

(07:14):
but then, but then, as themovies progress, it's just a
reason for him to run into awith a shotgun and just mow down
black and brown kids.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
And I saw.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
I saw all four of these fucking movies.
Yeah, that's what life in theMidwest is like.
All right, yeah, sorry,nevermind.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
Oh yeah, here's to Ohio.
Yeah, avon Lake, cheers, cheers.
Interestingly enough, our lastfive episodes have seen 20% more
viewership in Europe than inNorth America 20 more percent
where In Europe?

Speaker 1 (07:54):
Interesting?
Yeah, I wonder what's up withthat.
I wonder if it's VPN.

Speaker 2 (07:59):
It looks like we've hit the Russian Federation as
well.
Nice I know they've beenlistening to us ever since that
one episode.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Which one?

Speaker 2 (08:07):
The one where we were bashing on Putin.
I've had drones around my houseever since.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
That could have been any episode.
We go on such tangents.
Was it Encanto?
Is that the one where we bashedon Putin?
I can't remember.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
I can't remember either.
I couldn't remember either, butthis final toast, final hit
Well, not even final.
We got another one coming up,but for now this one goes out to
our newest enemies in China, aswe dedicate this one to the
Tiananmen Square situation.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
And also to Tom Barranmen Square situation and
also to Tom.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Berenger in the substitute, and to Tom Berenger
specifically in the substitute,that's the worst toast ever.
Cheers.
Right now you got China going.
You could bring up TiananmenSquare, but don't you dare bash
on Tom Fair Of substitute fame.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
We used it as a as propaganda for how American
schools are, so that our kidsstay in China.
It's like it was actually it'stotally paid for by China.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
That's all the whole substitute series we might run
over someone with a tank, but uh, we don't do this god, so what?

Speaker 1 (09:35):
I can't believe I watched these fucking movies.
Did you enjoy them at the time?
Oh yeah.
Plus, there were titties andstuff.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
Oh yeah, no that's a game for a young treat treat
williams switched in.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Tom berenger was only in the first one and then ernie
hudson was in it yeah, yeah,yeah poor bastard.

Speaker 2 (09:58):
You know he wasn't thrilled about that, but of
course, who would be?
Maybe we're getting so muchplay lately in europe just
because we have so manyanti-american sentiments on this
show well, america should tryto be better is all I gotta say.
That's what I'm saying, and Ithink that's the greatest part
that's, the greatest part aboutamerica is that we got so many

(10:18):
different people from so manydifferent places and america
keeps trying to destroy itsstrength.
Anyway, enough of that.
Let me hop on down from thissoapbox and let's talk about uh,
this movie so nosferatu stillin theaters should we do a brief
rundown of the plot of themovie?

Speaker 1 (10:40):
yeah, have you ever seen?

Speaker 2 (10:41):
Dracula, or heard of Dracula, because guess what it's
Dracula, it's Dracula baby.
So we had a wonderful remake ofDracula.
So let's talk about this film.
So we saw this bad boy intheaters.
We had some pretty decentnepotism titties in this one.
So how are you guys feelingabout this movie?

(11:02):
Luke, how are you feeling aboutthis movie?
Uh, luke, what?
How are you?

Speaker 1 (11:06):
feeling about this.
So overall I actually did enjoythe movie.
I I felt like it wasartistically very pleasing.
I enjoyed the cinematography alot.
I felt like it was veryenjoyable.
A lot of the camera shots, theway they um use practical
effects, the way they told astory with the camera and built

(11:29):
suspense with the camera andkind of unsettling scenes.
That was weird and somehowunsettling.
It wasn't scary but I did feeluncomfortable the mustache was
super unsettling yeah well and Imentioned that to me.
I was like why is why?
What's to do with this mustache, like what?

(11:50):
Like I think I've seen likemultiple times, like on multiple
videos and stuff aboutnosferatu.
Like they're like why does helook like tom selleck?
But like with, I'm like yeah,why, why did they choose that?
But so someone on theproduction team was like he's
eastern european.
Come on, now listen to theman's voice.

(12:12):
He has a mustache.
Yeah, it can't be unrealistic.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
Here it's obvious that he has a mustache.
Guys, come on, what I thinkthey were doing was that's
dracula or vlad the impaler?

Speaker 1 (12:28):
oh, so they were giving him a vlad the impaler
mustache, I see yeah, I thinkthat's.
That was vlad the impaler, Ithink that's what it was, and he
very famously had a mustache,among other things he did mainly
yeah I mean that was vlad themustache and baylor but, yeah, I

(12:50):
I definitely uh thought thatwas an odd choice, but I do
think, like the, the acting aswell, on the film I and I
enjoyed, I felt like the actorsdid what they were kind of
instructed to do or what.
I feel like this was a moviethat the director, robert Eggers
he, he kind of really he had avision for it Right, and I think

(13:13):
that he utilized these actorskind of as like tool.
I don't think that they strayedapart from his vision.
I really do feel like he, heutilized them in a way, but I do
think they did a good job and Iactually.
But yeah, yeah, overall Ireally enjoyed the film.
It was, um, and in multipleways I I felt like it was, uh, a
very solid movie and a verysolid film overall yeah, no, for

(13:37):
sure, um all right uh james,what are your thoughts?
uh.
So when I when I walked out ofthe theater, I had mixed
feelings, but I can tell youthat in the first half of this
movie I was on the edge of myseat and I was absolutely
enthralled.
For the first half of thismovie, I thought they did some

(13:59):
really awesome cinematic thingsat the beginning, with using
cinematography as symbolism forthe characters.
Emotions like this is a.
This is a romantic Gothic movie.
Right, supposed to.
Gothic romance is like this.
Feelings pushing their way intoreality, right, it's like the.

(14:23):
It's like these, it's like aspiritual realm, almost kind of
thing.
And he did some shots like thecinematography.
At the beginning, eggersdirected some shots where they
had the 360 camera when they'resitting, when they're outside,
with this feeling of a whirlwindof emotions.
And they gave us one thing Ireally loved that pushed me over

(14:47):
the edge, being like, wow, thisis great, great.
When the carriage rolled up onon thomas nicholas holt, uh, you
remember that when the blackcarriage rolled up on the on the
deserted road, when he wasright outside orlock's castle,
and then the, and then he likehas his little, he has, he goes
into a trance, comes out, thecarriage is waiting, uh, for him

(15:07):
, uh, and then he goes to stepinto the carriage and they did
this very cool thing where hissilhouette, the shot is from
inside the carriage, the darkcarriage, and his silhouette is
coming toward the camera butthen he kind of floats, he kind
of floats through the carriagetoward the screen and I realized

(15:30):
that they had superimposed thetwo things and it wasn't.
You know, you feel like it'slike reality, but then you see
like it's more of a spiritualexpression of the trance he's in
and how he's like lifted andlured the cart beyond his
ability to even resist.
Yes, um, and I loved the shotsof him in orlok's castle with,

(15:57):
you know, the way thecinematography conveyed the
ambition and the reticence.
And you know, when the, when wewere looking up from the
contracts point of view atnicholas holt, I was like fuck,
yeah, that's telling a storywith with the camera.
Uh, you know, when he washaving his horror views and the
camera would come in on his faceand then he'd be in another

(16:19):
spot in the castle because hewas entranced.
You know, I was like, is thecamera telling a story?
Where this guy is just so he'slike blinded by his ambition and
under the trance of thiswealthy guy.
And then in the second half itjust turned into a stage play.
Yes, it turned into a stageplay where it was like fixed

(16:40):
shot.
Well, they did the fixed shotswhere people were just talking
to each other, they just talkedback and forth and talked back
and forth and then someone onthe team was like do you
remember when you did that 360shot, like that was really good,
let's do another one of those.
And then you get this camerawhipping around two people
talking, I was like why am Idoing this?
Why is this happening right now?
And I felt like they lost thesymbolism in the second half for

(17:05):
the most part, when it wasthere.
They wanted to make theirconversations flash and they
forgot that they were tellingthe story with the camera.
At times, I I, I could Flashingthey forgot that they were
telling the story With thecamera.
At times I I could definitelysee that and I think I agree.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
I will say that this was a vast improvement On the
one featuring Keanu Reeves.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
Yeah, that's very true.
Huge improvement, but not animprovement Over Leslie
Nielsen's dracula dead andloving it, which I will which
sharon and I watched immediatelyafter we got home not by a long
shot, not by a long shot sharonand I watched it and we were

(17:51):
like, oh my god, this is like itwas like exactly this.
We're like this.
Oh my God, this is like it waslike exactly this.
We're like this is the samemovie.
It's like someone just copiedthat's all, that's all, that's
all, that's all, that's all,that's all, that's all that's
all, that's all, that's all,that's all, that's all was
originally um, yeah, uh, withgreiger I.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
I forget the name at the moment but the theft of
dracula it was yeah, it was justdracula with different names.
But, uh, I thought the actingwas really good.
I I enjoy it was.
It was definitely over the topand it was definitely very
dramatic, but I think that wasthe point.
Yeah, and I feel willem dafoeespecially.
I feel that he thrives in thatarea.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
I hated Willem Dafoe in this movie Really.
I was like man.
This is the only movie I'veever hated Willem Dafoe in.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
I've seen the Lighthouse.
That's what I was saying.
He was like watching him in theLighthouse.
In my opinion, that's how Ifelt there.
I think he did as well house.
In my opinion.
That's how I felt there.
I think he did as well.
Um, I I did enjoy the firsthalf more than the second half.
I think I do have to agree withyou there.
I think it kind of got wrappedup its own ass at a point.

(19:05):
Yeah and um, too many subplots,yeah, and and I feel that
Depp's kid sort of they had likea focus on her.
I'm sure that there's somepolitics at play there that they
had to kind of work around andI feel that that did take away

(19:28):
from it a little bit.
But overall, you know, I likethe story, I appreciate what
they're doing with the story andI'll dive a little more into
that once we get under thegolden path.
And I I recall also so like thewitch who Robert Eggers did.
That was my introduction toRobert Eggers and you could tell
it was made by the same dude.

(19:49):
If you watch the witch and youwatch the Nosferatu, it's like
there's my witch story.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
There's my vampire story.
You could tell real ralphennison fan.
He really loves it.
He loves bringing ralph ennisonaround.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
I wish I'm happy for yeah, I'm really happy for, uh,
yeah, I like him a lot, he'sgreat and in the witch he had
some like fucking likeunexpected apps, by the way, if
you haven't checked it out,ladies.
But anyway, he's just choppingthat wood in a towel.
Forget about it.
So, anyway, and the weird thingfor me, I saw the Witch in
theaters, fucking hated it, butI've seen it like 20 times.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
Since I'll just like I'll be sitting there and like,
oh, throw in the Witch, fuck it,and you know what I could
really go for is some shrillwoods howling yeah, you know,
what I could really go for issome shrill woods howling yeah,
let's pop that out of thebackground.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
For whatever reason.
For whatever reason, it justcalms me.
And on second and third andfourth, fifth, sixth and seventh
viewing, I appreciate it a lotmore.
So I am going to rewatch thisone to kind of see how that pans

(21:00):
out.
But yeah, well, so before we gointo the final scoring here,
did you guys have any finalthoughts and, just you know,
initial feelings on this film?

Speaker 1 (21:11):
Luke initial feeling on this film, luke, I also did.
I wanted to note that I do.
I do agree in the sense thatthe second half was weaker, but
I didn't think it took away fromthe entire film.
I felt like it was still tellinga good story and it was like I,
it was just a film that I didenjoy and, like you said, it's
something I'm going to end upwatching again, especially I

(21:33):
could see, like around halloweenor you know, spooky, spooky
season, putting it on at somepoint in the month.
It was a movie I just I.
I enjoyed it.
I did for what it was.
Again, it is a dracula movie,but yeah, it was just dracula
yeah, well, but to be.
There was way more corpsefucking in this than I expected

(21:57):
from a Dracula movie.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
There was way more characters that were corpse
fuckers.
Yeah, there was actualnecrophilia in this film, which
you know I'm excited to seefinally make its debut onto the
big screen.
You know we've been prudesabout it.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Well, and I do think that this was like a very
artistic style film, like andyou, you know, you guys said
kind of like the play shots,like I felt like they were
trying to, almost like they madeit like a play like.
That's kind of how it felt likethey he was going for.
That I agree in the second halfwhy?

Speaker 2 (22:30):
why the?

Speaker 1 (22:31):
switch though.
Yeah, yeah, why the court, thecount?
Orok was not like a stage play,it was something totally
different.
But I do feel like it was likemystical in his castle, because
maybe that's like where themystic mystics happen, right
like where, where it is magical,and not like of this, of this
universe.
And then he got transported toa stage play Instead of everyone

(22:54):
else getting transported ToNosferatu's movie.
It was an interesting take BooBoo, I boo you, I will also say
An interesting thing about thismovie.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
You know Aaron Taylor Johnson.
He was the Frederick, he wasthe.
Uh, frederick the, yeah, he wasthe uh kind of a douchebag
husband, but not really not tohis wife at least but just a
general douchebag he's just verybritish.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
He's the guy who's a british aristocrat yeah, and he
killed it.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
But he uh, interestingly enough, you know,
uh where we first saw, likelately he's been kind of being
shoved down our throats becausethey're getting ready for I like
him.
I like him too.
You know where we first saw him, though he's been in a lot of
things first.
I don't know, he was the streetrat in Jackie Chan and Owen

(23:50):
Wilson's Shanghai Nights, whichscene.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
Oh, he's the urchin who, like he's the kid, oh he's
the steals from.
Oh my God, no way.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
Yeah, he's Charlie Chaplin.
Well, I liked him more.
I liked him more.
Yeah, that was him.
I like him even more now.
Yeah, he's been doing this fora while.
He's kicking ass, yeah, so he'scoming back and he, like I know
his name, was in the hat forjames bond, so who knows, we'll
see.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
I liked him in bullet train quite a bit too he was.
I loved bullet train.
Yeah, I love the train, sowe're getting off topic here now
we're just in bullet train.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
Actually we're gonna explore aaron taylor.
Taylor Johnson's career.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
His entire career.

Speaker 2 (24:34):
We're just going to dive on in.
He's got a lot of goods and alot of bad stuff in here.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
Another day maybe.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
I know he's married into the life and both of his
parents are in the industry, sohe's kind of like he's been
paying his dues from what I seelike nepotism style paying his
dues, but anyway.
So let's get some of my ratingson this.
So what did you guys rate themovie walking out of the theater
?
What would you guys wind upwith?

(25:04):
James?
Did you want to start that off?

Speaker 1 (25:08):
Let's see Ratings.
For acting, I would give it afour.
I.
I actually really did not likewillem dafoe in this.
I really thought the.
I thought that he was in adifferent movie than the other
people.
I thought he and the lunaticwho was running bare ass through

(25:33):
the streets yelling like thatshot.
I thought that those thingstook me way out of it.
You know, I felt like they.
I felt like I felt like therewas some problem with the
cinematography.
That also affected the acting.
Here.
It's like an interplay wherethe acting was really good but
it goes down to a four.
The cinematography is.

(25:54):
It was really good, I felt, forhalf of the movie but it
faltered in the second half.
But I'm also still giving it afour because I really, really
loved that scene with thecarriage and I also loved the
scene where his shadow wascoming over the town.
I know that's from the.
It's like a famous scene fromthe original and I think they

(26:15):
did a very good job with thehand.
The score the score in RobertEggers movies is always minimal
and haunting and a stirring whenit needs to.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
And.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
I think that the score was excellent.
I give it a five.
It never took away fromanything, uh, and I always felt
it added uh, which is prettyamazing.
That doesn't happen a lot, uh,for story.
I would give it a three maybe,because they had a chance here

(26:50):
they had a chance here to change.
Actually, you know, I may evengive it a two I think I'm going
to give it a two.
They had a chance here to change.
Actually, you know, I may evengive it a two.
I think I'm gonna give it a two.
They had a chance here to besomething other than dracula.
They had a chance to dosomething better, uh, and then
instead they just wrote dracula.
They didn't have to do themovie beat by beat.
Movies get remade and updatedall the time and there's not

(27:11):
people who are alive, like I sawnosferatu when it came out, and
this is different.
You know those people are dead.
Uh, just make a.
Make the best movie a modernday can make.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
You don't have those nosferatu nerds from back in
1917 fucking won't.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
Shut the hell up about it, you don't have to go
line by line and get lines fromthe original movie or whatever
unnecessary.
I thought the story kind ofsucked too.
Uh, and then rewatch ability.
I'm definitely gonna rewatchthis movie.
I don't know how many times.
For me it'll probably be likethe witch, where I watch it like
two or three times because youcouldn't understand what the

(27:50):
fuck they were saying yeah, yeah, yeah, and so, uh, and so I'll
probably watch this two or threetimes, but then I'll probably
be done with it and I'llprobably be like all right, I
hope there's a fan cut that justthat makes this a more
streamlined movie, and maybethey can add a scene where, uh,
aaron taylor johnson, when he'sfucking his corpse wife, he just

(28:12):
goes.
It was better in my head, andthen that's where he dies just
vomits bile and then dies.
This was better in the drawingroom did not match the reality
throws up all over his deadwife's bare chest so I'd give it

(28:36):
a three because you're gonnare-watch it.
You know, yeah, as soon as it'savailable on streaming,
re-watching it is, I think agood, good idea?

Speaker 2 (28:46):
yeah, okay, all right .
Um well, uh, luke, since you'retracking the numbers, you mind
if I go next?
Yeah, go ahead, uh, for me.
So I'm going to say acting wasa four, but I didn't bring it
down because of Willem Dafoe.
I brought it down just because,in the back of my brain, I know
that there were better womenfor the role.

(29:08):
They just didn't have.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
Depp's last name but if she was, if she did the role
well and acted the hell out ofit, she deserves the same.
Have you heard Jack Quaid talkon this?
Jack Quaid?

Speaker 2 (29:24):
could go fuck himself .

Speaker 1 (29:25):
All right.
I mean, have you heard what hesaid?

Speaker 2 (29:28):
Yeah, he could go fuck himself, so could his
crazy-ass uncle, and so couldhis dad.
All right, no, they could allgo fuck themselves.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
His at his crazy-ass uncle and soak at his dad.
All right, no, they could allgo fuck themselves.
His dad's crazy too, I'm prettysure yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
So Jack Quaid could pick one and suck it?

Speaker 1 (29:40):
Are you telling Meg Ryan she can go fuck herself?
Is that what you're saying?

Speaker 2 (29:44):
I think we did that as a culture, like in 19.
2001-ish.
I think Meg Ryan, she's just aboomer, but anyway, yeah, so
they, I had to, I, she, sheknows nothing of struggle or
strife.
I didn't believe her when shewas suffering.
And then, um, cinematography Ithought was solid, Um, just the

(30:09):
beginning, half of the movie, Iwould give it a 4.5.
And I, I think eventuallythey're, I think eventually the
producers and hollywood werelike dude, you got to cut the
shit.
All right, we got to get to theend of this movie.
This is not going to be thetitanic, you understand.
And they came in with likedominoes and started slicing

(30:29):
shit off.
They, you know, they dcuniverse did um, and so I'm just
giving a 4.5 for cinematography.
The score fantastic, just likeyou said, I'm gonna give it a
five.
The story, I mean, it's dracula.
Um, there's a reason.
This fucking story has lastedsince, uh, 1897.
And then they kind of likemixed it with the keanu reeves

(30:54):
dracula and then brought it backand I don't know what the plan
was at the end.
But I'm gonna bring that downto a four just because, like,
why you gave the story a four,it's dracula, but then it's
dracula with a weird twistending where he dies on top of

(31:15):
her.
Oh my God, yeah, I might evenbring it to a 3.5.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
No, I mean, whatever you want to do, I'm going to
bring it to a 3.5.
It just changes my opinion ofyou as a person.

Speaker 2 (31:26):
I'm going to give it a 3.5 because I am remembering
that ending and that's justirritating me.
The review isn't dracula, thebook, it is this movie but they
called it and I knew it wasgonna be.
I knew it was gonna be dracula,um, and then re-watchability I,
I'm, I'm yeah, it's gonna comeout on streaming, I'm gonna

(31:47):
re-watch it, I'm gonna see how Ifeel about it later on and I'm
going to watch it for, honestly,years to come, when because,
look, I'll be real with youVampire movies fucking blow,
with the exception of Dracula,dead and loving it.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
And this.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
This might be the best vampire movie.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
This might be the best vampire movie.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
Let right one in.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
I really enjoyed, but I would never re-watch the
letter I went in I've re-watchedit twice, I think yeah I
enjoyed it yeah, it's like thatone's, that one's, one you have
to sit and pay attention to andthen like, and really sit in the
silence and the isolation, for,though you can't just have it
on in the background, you got tosit down and stare at a screen
for an hour and 45 minutes andjust feel every bit of what

(32:43):
makes you a person kind ofbubble up and drift away.
It's like fuck, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 (32:53):
Luke, have you ever watched?
Let the right one in no, Ihaven't seen that I highly
recommend it.
James, do you remember thefirst time you and I watched
that?
We watched it together whoa,whoa.
Oh my god, what the fuck hey,there was a scene and he knows
exactly what I'm talking aboutin the original.

(33:14):
Let the right one in where.
So?
So, luke, to catch you up realfast, let the right one in.
It's just about this, uh, youngboy who befriends a vampire who
is immortal at his age, andit's a girl, child vampire yeah
then you learn that maybe it'snot a girl, whatever.
And at one point there thislittle perv main character is

(33:37):
kind of looking in while she'sgetting dressed, you know, and
they do just a quick fuckingflash of her privates.
Everyone in the fucking houseis like oh shit, Like we're all
going to jail.
We're all going to jail.

Speaker 1 (33:53):
And then we're like wait a second, rewind that
because it turns out there'slike scars there.

Speaker 2 (33:59):
It's not like a, it's not like a child's genitals,
it's like a scar is in thegenital area that they were
flashing we were all fuckingterrified oh my god, I I hadn't
seen that kind of reaction, uh,except from in the 2012 evil
dead, when the dude busted hisback on the toilet, but anyway,

(34:22):
oh yeah, watch it.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
If you haven't, there's some what was your
actual score for the rewatchability?
Though?
Rewatch, you never said it.
I'm gonna give it a four'mgoing to give it a four.

Speaker 2 (34:32):
I'm going to give it a four.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
I'll watch it again more than Die.

Speaker 2 (34:39):
Hard.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
I don't believe you.
I don't think this.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
Some years I'll skip a watching of Die Hard, but I'll
probably catch a Nosferatu.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
I think you'll put the Witch on before this.
I know it's a vampire movie,but I think you'll put the Witch
on before this.
I know it's a vampire movie,but I think you'll put the Witch
on before this.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
Well, only time will tell.
Well, Luke, you want to give usthe final cherry on these
fucking scores.
This has the opportunity to bea high-ranking, high-and-dry
movie.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
I'm not going to lie.
I gave this very good scores.
Now my horror genre is not verydeep.
I've only just started gettinginto horror movies, but I I did.
I gave this very flying colors,so okay acting.
I gave it a five.
I feel like each person didwhat they were supposed to do
and they conveyed what they weresupposed to convey.

(35:30):
In the story, a every characterbrought me in, even Willem
Dafoe.
He was annoying as fuck.
That character was not, but hedid what he was supposed to do.
He acted his ass off and playedthat character well.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
That character was not a good character.
I think it's fine.
I think it's fine.
I'm not going to chill with anyof them.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
Yeah, let me know on a rewatch if you think Willem
Dafoe was any good.

Speaker 2 (35:53):
Let me know on a rewatch if you think Willem
Dafoe was any good.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
For me.
I was like Jesus Christ.
It wasn't even believabledelivery.
I felt like he was really tired, Just trying to be crazy to
overcompensate how tired he was.

Speaker 2 (36:08):
He just felt like a normal crazy guy back then he
didn't feel like he was gettinganything Normal, crazy old man.
Willem Dafoe was just born inthe wrong generation.
All right, we'll continue andthen, uh, cinematography.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
I also gave a five.
I've shit, I didn't feel thesecond half I did think was
worse.
It definitely did not.
They didn't have as manyartistic shots, but I didn't
think it brought away from whatthey did well.
Uh, yeah, I feel like when theywere doing it well, they were
doing it very well.
So I gave that a five okay, wow, that's wild I gave the score a

(36:45):
four out of five.
I like I did think that they didwhat it was supposed to, but it
just didn't stand out for me.
I didn't like when I got out II remember I had thoughts and
notes on almost every singlecategory besides score.
It was just kind of like ohyeah, that was.
It was spooky, spooky scorespooky music.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
Spooky music, yeah, which is the standard.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
So I just gave it a four.
Uh story, I hope james and Ican still be friends, but I gave
it a four.
I felt like it, like I knew itwas just gonna be a remake of
nosferatu, like that's.
I knew what it was like andlike.
I do agree that you could makea different movie, but you also
could just make a new vampiremovie at that point.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
It's over a hundred years later.

Speaker 1 (37:29):
Yeah, movies and storytelling have grown in the
last and they have.
But I just don't have to do astage play, I just liked the
fact that it was like an oldmovie made well, like it's like.
Oh wow, like I.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
I enjoyed that I I, I think that it was updated with
the wife's possession.
Uh, especially some of thescenes between the wife and
husband in that where, like he'slike jealousy fucking her.
Yeah, that that definitelywasn't in the original I can
tell you that for sure yeah, soI think it was updated.
I think it was updated.
And then uh, fucking, uh, aarontaylor, johnson fucking that

(38:04):
corpse that's a thing.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
We barely got to see any of it, though, and so and so
they could have gone farther.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
His britches were down.
His britches were down.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
They could have gone farther.

Speaker 2 (38:20):
Yeah, well, I just enjoyed it.

Speaker 1 (38:21):
I didn't think that it took away from any of it too
much and I thought the storydeserved the four Didn't deserve
anything higher.
For sure, there was just toomuch that did.
They didn't do well, but Ithink for what they did well,
they did very well.
And then rewatchability I thinkit's a four I.
I think you could watch thismovie during the halloween
season.
I think that might also bebecause my depth of horror

(38:44):
movies is probably not thatgreat, so that score might be
this is no horror.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
My well, my I wouldn't call my depth of horror
movies is fucking insane.
There's few horror movies Ihave not seen.
I think it lands inside of it,no problem.

Speaker 1 (39:01):
Do you think this is horror?

Speaker 2 (39:03):
I don't think this is horror by definition, of course
.

Speaker 1 (39:07):
Well, Jurassic Park's a horror.
You gotta give me Jurassic Park.

Speaker 2 (39:11):
Oh, that's a horror.
Jurassic Park has always been ahorror.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
Yeah, sure, that's fine, but yeah so that's all I
care about.
So all I care about which wasyou know which was crazy?
Because Nosferatu was not amovie that I thought I was going
to um really enjoy, but I satsat there really having a good

(39:36):
time and I I did enjoy the movieoverall.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
That's awesome, well, so I I am very excited to hear
the math on this one, becausethis might be the highest
ranking high and dry movie everfinal score.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
The official high and dry score is a, the highest
that we've given so far, a fourout of five, holy shit.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
Yeah, it's actually tied for tied for four out of 5.
Holy shit, yeah, it's actuallytied for 4 out of 5.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
Oh, which one did we give a 4 out of 5 as well?
I think Die Hard.
Oh, die Hard got it.
No, I think Die Hard got a 4out of 5.
I'll have to go back to thearchives we need to keep a
spreadsheet.

Speaker 2 (40:11):
Yeah, we'll have to start inputting this shit.
Well, not it.
I'll make a web.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
I'll make a web page.
I'll make a web page, we'll putit in.
Yeah, but this, you know the Ido think that, like a boy, I, I
remember, I think that's what Ipretty much averaged for for my
score and I was I felt like itwas a fair score, I felt like
they I think four to five isfair, and it was.
I think it's fair it was a goodfilm.
James is sitting there and he'sjust like this.
These motherfuckers gave thistoo much credit, but I I do it's

(40:41):
better than die hard, and so itdeserves the four.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
Yeah well, hey, well, well.
So, that being said, we thereit is.
Folks, there's your officialfucking thing, robert,
congratulations.
Man Coming out of left fieldwith a high and dry does not
give out fours lightly.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
I don't know if this is what I show all the time.
John McTiernan is one of theonly directors, one of the
greatest directors of all time.
Director of the Thomas CrownAffair.
Got four out of five.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
We might have to revisit some of the's before we
started doing the ranking systemyeah, I'm curious to see what
we would give some of the movieswe did before luke's ranking
system.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
But how about we just , how about we just do a we'll
do a whole episode, yeah wherewe just go back through the list
and be like hell yeah.
What are the scores that these?

Speaker 2 (41:35):
would get Quick fires .
Yeah, have all the notesalready ready.
We'll live stream that bitch.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
Talk about the things that we loved about them and
the things that we remember thatwe didn't like or whatever.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
That'd be a pretty cool episode.
I like the idea.
I like the idea.
Well, I like the idea.
That being the case, it's timeto get onto the golden path.
We've ranked this thing, we'vehit the science of it.
It's time now to get into theart of it.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
Can I smoke more?
Is that okay?

Speaker 2 (42:01):
It's time for our fourth toast, fourth hit, fourth
shot.
This one goes out to so farwhat I believe is our highest
ranking movie so far to dateCheers.

Speaker 1 (42:14):
Yeah, bill Skarsgård, I believe is our highest
ranking movie, so far To date.
Cheers Bill Skarsgård, ZombieDick.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
Cheers.
I was mindlessly scrolling andyou know that meme of Willem
Dafoe looking up into the sky,just fucking awestruck.
And it was people seeingnosferatu zombie uh, vampire
dick in imax this movie.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
To me he was so much less a vampire than a zombie.
To me he was much more like azombie.
To me he was much more like azombie in his appearance.
We didn't even get to seevampire teeth, really.
Yeah, I was a littledisappointed with that.
I couldn't believe that theydidn't kind of lean into like
Well.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
I'm excited to get into that part.
Then it's time to get on thegolden path.
So for those of you guys athome you know this is where
we're going to mouadib, dive onin and really get into the grit
and meat of this fucking movieand some of the shit that you
fucking dumb asses probablymissed.

Speaker 1 (43:20):
Oh my God, Luke, luke , you got to remember.
Our audience are pieces of shit.
Our audience is trash, fuckingtrash.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
We love you guys.
Please keep listening.
We're here to educate youAnyway.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
Yeah, the golden path .
You're supposed to become adictator, Mwah dude, so anyway.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
Mwah dude.
Yeah, so as far as the goldenpath of it, it first up.
As far as the vampire movie isconcerned, um, you know, look, I
I don't know if any of youheard that sound bite that's
bounced around our page before,but I fucking love vampires and
vampire movies is shit.
This one was pretty good.

(44:13):
I I might have to change somestatements I made about vampire
movies because, shit, this onewas pretty good.
I I might have to change somestatements I made about vampire
movies because of this fuckingmovie.

Speaker 1 (44:18):
I don't think it's a vampire movie.
I know, I know he's a vampire,but I think it's a bad.
I don't think with barelyanything that's about vampires
is more like in our culture ademon possession movie where she
makes a cut, she awakens ademon with her spiritual calls
and stuff but she has a psychicconnection and they drag right.

(44:40):
It was very capable of thosethings yeah, we don't even see
fangs and stuff like they.
They talk very little about thedrawing of blood.
You know, it's I.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
I feel like it's a very weird vampire I feel like
they showed a couple scenes ofhim sucking the blood from like
the chest I thought they saw himlapping up blood yeah, well, I
thought they were being empty ofblood and stuff when they found
bodies yeah, I, I thought thesucking uh was pretty cool when
he, when they had those verypowerful like he's clearly

(45:15):
fucking like drinking.
Yeah, I thought that was prettycool.
And then, just from a Draculaperspective you know I've read
Dracula, I've seen the originalNosferatu that intro scene was
quintessential vampire, you know, and that's before they
sparkled and shit.
Intro scene was quintessentialvampire, you know, and that's

(45:37):
before they sparkled and shit.
I thought it was very strongand I liked the idea that we
were adding to the lore ofvampires for their monstrousness
versus their sexiness.
But I wanted the sexiness.
Because lately the sexiness.
Well, in the past, well, shewas into it.

(45:58):
She loved that fucking mustache.
You know that thing wasbrooming up her vagina all
fucking day.
But um.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
I love show sprites.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
I, I, I was happy.
So now what we can do is wetake this demonic aspect that
we've added to vampires withthis film, mix that with the
sexiness and we got a wildfucking vampire right there.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
Yeah, I do think that this is going to be seen as a
turning point for vampire movies.
Even if I don't think this isquintessential, I do think this
is a turning point, much likethe witch, you know, heavily
influenced, like jordan peeleand other you know, uh, new
horror directors who who use alot of symbolism and cinematics

(46:47):
and score to to cohesivelypresent horror.
I feel like this will be, thiswill be seen as a stepping stone
in vampire horror I think so aswell.

Speaker 2 (46:58):
Um luke, where are you at with it?

Speaker 1 (47:01):
yeah, I, I agree.
I think that, although I hadn'teven thought about the teeth
thing until james had said it,but I don't think that that took
away from it being a vampire tome and I felt like I enjoyed
the very just like ancient, likeI feel like they were trying to
portray someone who is justancient like truly immortal well

(47:22):
, immortal to to a sense, butbut like an immortal being that
that is thousands of years oldand I feel like they did that
and I feel like it is going tobe, uh, one of those things that
vampire movies will become verytrendy here very soon.
I feel like we're gonna seemultiple of these in the coming

(47:43):
years, in the next couple years.
For sure, I think we're gonnasee an explosion of gothic
romance, whether that includesvampires or not well.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
So I'm starting to feel a very similar thing and
it's giving me a little bit ofFOMO, um, you know, because I've
written a vampire novel thatI've, you know, been struggling
to push out there, just based onthe ebb and flow of cultural
acceptance of vampires.
Twilight really drained thefucking cultural, you know.
But now they are making thisweird comeback and so I had

(48:16):
written my first novel and it'sabout a millennial vampire.
He's like a fucking baby.
And then I saw this movie andit started giving me ideas about
his mom and making her thismixture of fucking evil, dead,
demonic, possession and sexy.
And I'm like what the fuck canI do with this to keep building

(48:37):
on it for myself, as far as thethings that I'm trying to do,
and I think we might be, becausevampires they come and go every
20 years.
We have not been able to getrid of them since the fucking
1800s.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
You gotta cut off their head, you gotta drive the
stake through the heart and thencut the head off come on, guys,
if you want to get rid of them.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
That won't come back every 20 years we, we do this
ebb and flow between horror andsexy, horror and sexy, horror
and sexy, and I, I think thismight be a new, a new thing for
sure.
I agree with you guys, for sure, on that one.
Well, and I think I think.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Oh sorry, like Jay, I just want to say this quick
with, like you said, james, the,the Gothic romanticism,
specifically because I also seeit in, like the books that women
are reading, like I've seen myfiance and lots of her friends
reading these, like fantasy,kind of dark, but they're also
very intimate and sexy.
Uh books and I feel like youknow, with with this movie,

(49:36):
it'll be a point for people tobe like, oh, you guys like that,
I can turn that into a movieand these books will also begin
turning into films.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
Yeah no, it's telling me I need to get my ass to work
all right, yeah you guys enjoythe rest of this show.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
I gotta run, I gotta I gotta get in on this action
one thing I'm really lookingforward to and I'm really glad
that's happening is movies likethis are moving away from like
the way things like um, twilightor 50 shades of gray or um, or,

(50:11):
when it comes to action, jasonbourne, like all these cinematic
things that are used for thosethat are like kind of you're
almost like bored of the way thecamera moves and it's like it's
like this is such a roteprogression for for action and
for drama.
Something the thing I'm reallylooking forward to is, with this

(50:33):
gothic horror, specifically,the symbolism and the
cinematography of how, how youknow, the characters, emotions,
influence the cinematography.
Like that's a, that's a verylike, I would say like gen z,
you know, like a zoomer orsomething you know.
Uh, the way that they approachmedia is is its vibes and they
they like the vibes that thatthey get and they may not be

(50:56):
able to put into words howcinematography is affecting that
, but it really looks like it'sup and coming, it really looks
like this and it's it seems likea really fun thing.
I feel like poor things did asimilar thing to this movie and
has cinematography.
And um, and it is becoming morecommon.
And um, and it is becoming morecommon and I feel like this was
the first time they used it forhorror specific, yeah, so yeah,

(51:17):
I agree that it's veryinteresting seeing that style of
no, and the more we talk aboutit, the happier I am.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
The happier I am that we gave it the four because,
like I mean, it seems like we'reall in agreement here this is
gonna make some changes.
This is gonna.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
I think in a year I'm gonna.
Yeah, that movie was a reallygood stepping stone for better
things and I don't think I'mgoing to look.
I don't think in a year I'mgoing to feel even as good about
this movie.

Speaker 2 (51:43):
Well, look in 2050, when the three of us are doing
this, we'll have to alter therating scale based on how the
culture flows.
You know, that's just how it is.
You know when we're.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
Jurassic park is going to be a five, and it will
always be a five.
Steven Spielberg, fuckingkilled it John.
Williams score.
I'm going to flip this fuckingdesk.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
And look and look when, when, when Siskel and
Ebert have been replaced by RyanJames and Luke, we'll, Luke,
we'll be discussing that untilour fucking grave.
I will burn down this studio ifJurassic Park does not get a 5,
and you'll be able to do thatbecause it's 2050 and your hand

(52:27):
flicks back into a thrower.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
You cyberpunk bitch why did dr grant not simply to
simply launch a rocket out ofhis torso at the t-rex?

Speaker 2 (52:46):
I don't understand.
And then you'll be arguingabout score and nuance.
Yeah, the world's going to aweird place and we'll be
competing with our AIcompetitors.
It's going to be wild.
The next 30 years of High andDry.
Buckle up, guys, You're in fora ride.

Speaker 1 (53:09):
It would be interesting to give some of the
movies a score a year later.
See like, how did it age.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
Yeah for sure, but no , I agree.
I think this movie is going tochange some things.
It's definitely me as a vampireenthusiast.
It's gotten me thinking about afew things, so I am excited.
I am excited.
I will rewatch this.
I'm making some changes to myown sort of stuff.
But final thoughts before wedive into the third part of this

(53:39):
.

Speaker 1 (53:40):
As a necrophilia enthusiast, I'm disappointed by
the lack of exploration.

Speaker 2 (53:48):
We didn't see the insertion.
Yeah, it was just assumed and Ifeel that.

Speaker 1 (53:52):
yeah, we did that in the 60s and 70s I I just want to
say he really felt like thatpussy was going to be so good
that it was worth dying for he.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
He said oh yeah, he's like I'm not pulling out and
going into the shadows.

Speaker 1 (54:05):
Fuck, no, I'm finished, dude have you ever had
grief pussy dude it's it.
It's wild.

Speaker 2 (54:12):
I do think, I do think.
I do think this movie's goingto hurt Aaron Taylor Johnson,
though, because he was standingvery close to a lot of actors
and I don't know what the dealis because he's supposedly 5'11"
, but I think we all know nowthat he is not six foot, did he?

Speaker 1 (54:39):
look short, I can't remember.

Speaker 2 (54:41):
I thought he looked short.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
Really, I wasn't even paying attention If he's 5'11".

Speaker 2 (54:47):
This is going to hurt him.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
Oh, interesting.
Yeah, I need to look back atthat, but I I do remember like I
felt like he was really short,ralph ralph innocent, though is
tall, he's a tall man, that's.
Yeah, he's like six foot fiveor some shit, but even next to
his he was standing next tofrederick a lot that's true,

(55:10):
that's true.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
Yeah, no, ralph, innocent six three.
So okay, maybe that's it.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
Maybe we're just comparing him he's only six,
three on tinder.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
He's six four um, but yeah, I feel like I don't know.
We'll see how it goes.
I'm excited to see what happenswith aaron taylor johnson.
He might be the next bond.
He might just fizzle out, whoknows, who knows.
But uh, well, with that beingsaid, it's time to get into the

(55:39):
third part of this thing.
It's time to insert ourselvesinto nosferatu, and I know high
and dry fans have been clamoringfor this since the beginning.
Put your guys into some classicliterature, and here we are
welcome.
So, uh, I'm gonna have anotherone for this.
It's.
It's my last saturday before myholiday vacation ends.

(56:03):
I'm gonna hit up one more time.

Speaker 1 (56:05):
Um what if I did delete it?
Oh, that was an invitation.
I understand.
Now, all right, I'm gonna diveon in cheers.
I was daydreaming'm going todive on in Cheers.
I was daydreaming, cheers.

Speaker 2 (56:15):
Mr Ralph Ennis and being.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
Just daydreaming of being in Nosferatu.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
Hell yeah, hell yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
Hell yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
Dude.
Imagine we are the Siskel andEbert.
If Siskel was like hell yeah,dude, that's what we're bringing
to the table With, surprisingly, in my opinion, deep thoughts,
but anyway, not what you'dexpect.

(56:51):
I feel Not what you'd expect.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
Yeah, when you heard people were going to get drunk
and talk about movies, youprobably didn't think.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
That we'd have a decent thought about them too,
but anyway, yeah, yeah.
All right, so all right, let'skick this bad boy off.
So we have inserted you guysinto Nosferatu.
What changes?

Speaker 1 (57:14):
James, did you want to kick this off, or luke did?

Speaker 2 (57:16):
you have a thought, I have a thought, I can I can go
first.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
Oh, thank god.
Um, so I would like to say thatif I was in this movie, I would
be the main character, not themain one, not a, not lily, not
ellen hutter, but at thomashutter, I'd be thomas hutter and
, honestly, when my boss wastrying to get me to go to some
fucking creepy castle somethingwe never I would literally tell
him to go fuck himself and quit,and then I wouldn't, we'd never

(57:42):
get involved with counterlockand me and my wife would just
live happily ever after.
Uh, because I have no clue,like I always love in movies,
watching characters, just dothese.
I wouldn't think like that, Iwouldn't do that or whatever the
case is, I would have betterinstincts to be like this feels

(58:03):
way too fucking weird and I getit.
It was his job, whatever, butit's very interesting to me that
it feels like he has noinstincts to be like this is
fucking weird.
He did once he was there, but itwas well before you were there
that that was weird.
You're going outside the normto go to someone's house way far
away to sign paperwork forsomeone he's already moving to.

(58:24):
That doesn't fucking make anysense.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
Why would?

Speaker 1 (58:26):
he not just sign it when he gets here?
So yeah, I would probably endup making this movie very short.
I would make it fucking.
I'd be like yeah, no, sir.
And then it would just be likea very sweet romantic movie.
No horror at all of me andJohnny and Lily Rose Depp just
being in love in this world.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
Sexy Sexy.

Speaker 1 (58:51):
It just becomes a romance movie or a rom-com, if
you will what's that new onewith blake lively?
Oh, it ends with us.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
It ends, it just turns into.

Speaker 1 (59:03):
It ends with us, but there's a vampire somewhere out
there viciously masturbating tothe pictures of my wife Also,
still a surprising amount ofcorpse fucking.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
Surprising.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
Yeah, so that would be my version of Nosferatu, if I
was in the film.

Speaker 2 (59:28):
Wow, alright, alright , nice, nice Still a 4 out out
of five.
Just so you guys know all right, james, what changes when you
show up?

Speaker 1 (59:45):
who would I be?
I would, I would insert myselfinto Willem Dafoe's character
because, listen, you know I hadsome problems with it.
So I'd insert myself into thatcharacter and the first thing
I'd do is take a whole bunch ofcoca leaves and I'd burn them up

(01:00:08):
and I'd get super fucked up oncoca leaves, which were readily
available at the time.
We just watch him fucking tripand then and then the movie
would be exactly the same.
It would be exactly the same.
It's just all the I'd say allthe same lines and exactly the

(01:00:29):
same affectation, and I'd beincredibly high on cocaine, and
it would you.
It would be like I just watchedthe same affectation and I'd be
incredibly high on cocaine.
It would be like I just watchedthe same movie twice.
That's all.
That's all.

Speaker 2 (01:00:40):
Incredible revolutionary Will Neff always
fucking smacked out of his mind.

Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
I think he was.
I think that's the only waythat this movie happened, except
this time his heart exploded.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
Yeah, for me, I would insert myself as Dracula,
obviously.

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
You're a walking corpse With your old, rotted
balls.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
Except I would show up at Lily Rose Depp's place and
you'd hear like the nepo babyand I would just move on and but
no, then I would introducepenicillin to this place because
, you know, I have theunderstanding of the fungus that
we need to grow and, hey, theplague wasn't caused by rats,

(01:01:31):
guys, rats are actually superintelligent and it's actually
the fleas on the rats thatcauses the plague that you're
referring to.
And as long as we get you apenicillin shot within 24 hours,
you're gonna be totally fine.
Yeah, I would just be.

(01:01:52):
Uh, I don't even fucking know,like, and I think that's one of
the reasons why, like, the storyis so hard to fuck with as far
as our ratings go.
Um, and one of the things thatwe didn't kind of go into is
because what this was touchingon, what the original dracula
was touching on, was reversecolonization.
That's why it was so kind offreaky to these 19th century

(01:02:17):
English people reading it,because this was now, instead of
the English going out andcolonizing, this was the reverse
, where one of their old storiescame to us and was like I'm
taking over, now I'll haveCarfax Abbeyby your hottest
women and, uh, there's nothingyou could do about it cheers, um

(01:02:38):
, and that was like one of theoriginal horror points of this
thing.
So I, I wouldn't be trying tocolonize anybody.
I would just be a vampire outliving his fucking life and I'd
shave that fucking mustache.
You know what you're remindingme of that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
That I find really interesting about this movie is
that at the end of the movie Ikind of had to do a double take
at the end, when, uh, lily rosedepp is lying dead under the
under this corpse thatrepresents the shame of her
sexuality, yeah, and all theguys in the room are like she

(01:03:16):
sacrificed herself so that wecould all be saved.
And then the sun rose.
It was like a new dawn and allthese guys were like thank
goodness, life just went on withtheir lives.
They were like okay alright.

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
Well, that's done, I gotta find another wife.

Speaker 1 (01:03:40):
Fuck, god damn it.
Listen, my first marriage wasreal doozy, I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
I wanna warn you tell me you don't have any
inclinations you have no exesthat are interested right no one
that could potentially come to.

Speaker 1 (01:04:00):
I need to know right now.
I like laughed.
I laughed at the end of themovie because that was like my
first thought, skinny littlelegs, people.
People looked at me in thetheater because I was laughing.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
I was laughing so hard and that's what he was
going for that that isdefinitely what they were going
for a big whole laugh.
Genius, genius.
Not dracula dead and loving it,but the close, mel brooks

(01:04:36):
should probably pay attention Igotta tell you that movie real,
really dragged.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
It was no young frankenstein or or definitely
not a robin hood men in tights.
I watched it.
I watched it again.
I was really.
There were some good points, ithad some good jokes, but, man,
it was just like a very accurateretelling of dracula.

Speaker 2 (01:04:54):
Most of the time is what that movie was yeah, no,
and then yeah, just to, just towrap it up.
If I was there, the title wouldchange.
There would be a scene whereI'm shaving that fucking
mustache, getting back out theresomeone, someone who's worth

(01:05:16):
our lock that would be it.
It would be a super positive,healthy or lock who shaves that
shit off.
So yeah, I loved once beforethat one girl in the cemetery.
I can inject myself mentally,but I'm not doing it anymore.

(01:05:37):
That's not who I am anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:05:40):
I'm better than that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:41):
I'm better than that.
Now it's time for Orlok to beOrlok and find someone who loves
Orlok for Orlok.
I'm talking to this real estateagent.
I'm not going to kill himBecause I might not like where I
end up.
I might need to sell.

Speaker 1 (01:06:02):
Burning bridges is something past.
Orlok would do Not me now Past.

Speaker 2 (01:06:09):
Orlok would kill this guy Not me, not who I am, not.
After she was into me and sworeherself to me eternally in our
dreams and then just forgotabout it.
I'm not going to be attached tothat.
That's not what I'm about.
And I'm going to bring I'm justgoing to bring this plague to

(01:06:29):
England and I'm going to findsomeone who sees me and doesn't
run away.
And I see them.
That's what I'm looking for.
Anyone who won't run from me,yeah, someone who's not going to
run from me.
I see them, for them.
There's a lot of weird shitwrapped up in this culture.

Speaker 1 (01:06:50):
There's a beautiful blind woman out there for Orlok
yeah there's a beautiful womanout there for Orlok.
Yeah, there's a beautiful womanout there for Orlok who has no
sense of smell, or?

Speaker 2 (01:06:56):
taste either I'm gonna find her.
It's gonna be like it's gonnabe pretty woman, but with Orlok.

Speaker 1 (01:07:06):
Also four out of five stars.
See, that's solid film, solidfilm.

Speaker 2 (01:07:10):
It taught me about me .
Just, the score wasn't reallywhere it should have been.
It couldn't figure it out if itwas a romance or a horror.
I had no idea.
Oh shit, so well, there youhave it, folks.
Hey, thank you all forlistening.
So Nosferatu, four out of five,one of our highest rated films

(01:07:32):
on High and Dry.
I'm your host, ryan baron north, with me, as always, james
crossland, luke.
Thank you all for listening.
Peace bye.