August 25, 2025 • 60 mins
The High and Dry Podcast team delivers a scathing review of "Nobody 2," rating it a dismal 1.5 out of 5 stars for its incoherent plot, poor performances, and problematic messaging.
• Bob Odenkirk returns as a violent family man whose ultraviolence is inexplicably portrayed as heroic
• The film oscillates between serious and campy tones, creating a disorienting viewing experience
• Christopher Lloyd appears underutilized, with his character barely developed despite potential
• Sharon Stone's villain makes inexplicable choices that defy basic logic
• Poor cinematography makes action sequences feel jumpy and lacking impact
• The film's treatment of women is particularly problematic, suggesting wives should accept and participate in their husband's violence
• The plot contains numerous logical inconsistencies, including the small-town setting having multiple violent crime syndicates
• Several characters' motivations and actions make little sense within the narrative
If you enjoy our reviews, please subscribe and check out our other episodes where we analyze films with a lot more coherence than this one displayed.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
cam was like what movie do you guys, do you want
to see this?
You know what like list downmovies, and I was like, well, we
have to go see nobody too.
I was like yeah she's listedall and I was like, but we have
to like.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Unfortunately, the choice is made for us well, and
I was telling callie like, look,I I feel because I was, I
watched, nobody won this morningbefore rolling into this thing
and I'm like, I'm sitting theretrying to tell myself like you
have.
You know, people count on thisshow to give them the truth, and
this is training you toobjectively look at something
(00:34):
that may be a piece of shit, butright, you know you have to
come on and share that.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
People need to know if it's a piece of shit.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
But part of my job is to be able to give the truth of
the matter is it a piece ofshit?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
and well, let's find out, let's find out.
So, on this week's episode ofdragon ball z, yes, yeah of high
and dry podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I'm your host, ryan Baron-North With me as always.
James Crosland, luke, how areyou guys doing today?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
I was better before this weekend I'm doing good.
It does suck to have to go seea movie you don't want to see.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Well, this is High and Dry Podcast, the only
podcast keeping alive the fandomof Nikita.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Oh, I like Nikita.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Oh, nikita, good was that on tnt I believe so, back
when that was a thing, oh my god, I remember they were like
nikita, right after basketballsomething to that effect, or was
it?
What was that?
One fucking channel for the men, like men didn't have enough
(01:46):
spike no, I, I don't think itwas spike.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I think it was tnt.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I was thinking it was tnt, but like spike, like
picked up the torch of tnt ohyeah, they took it a whole
nother step.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
They were like and ladies don't even turn on this
channel.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
This is just we don't want you here, and that's what
I felt from what we're actuallygoing to be talking about today.
So, from those of you listeningfor the first time, we're not
actually going to be talkingabout Nikita, that's another
podcast that we do.
We'll bring it up a little bit.
What we're going to be talkingabout on this one we're going to
(02:22):
knock out a film, and todaywe're going to be talking about
Nobody 2 one.
We're going to knock out a film, and today we're going to be
talking about Nobody 2, thenewest, I don't know how to.
We're going to describe it forthe next hour for you.
So we'll have all the time inthe world, and we're going to do
it in a beautiful three-partmethod guaranteed to get you
results.
All right, first, we're going tojump in, rate this thing and
give you the definitive ratingout of five stars.
(02:42):
All right, after this, youdon't need to go to Fandango
anymore.
That's what we're here for.
Those people are hacks.
All right, we're going to giveyou the true, true rating.
Round two, we're going to jumponto the golden path and we're
going to delve into the fuckinggolden shower that this fucking
movie was.
And then, finally, we're goingto insert ourselves, drugs and
(03:04):
our alcohol into the film.
What would make it different,what would make it unique?
And what makes us so unique isthat we're going to be doing it
drunk and or high.
So, fellas, what are yousmoking?
This?
Speaker 1 (03:13):
week.
I'm a repeat offender.
Watermelon OG for this week.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Keeping it fruity.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Keeping it fun, Keeping it light.
I got runts again.
He's got runts in the show inthe movie.
That's what the movie's aboutis his family.
I'm just doing runts again,yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Well, I'm going to be joining you here's, remy.
I will be joining you guys withthe one I did last night.
I believe it was Rebel, but for15 dots, remy excuse me, no,
get back, I'm being attacked bya taquita Alright.
So for $15, I get a 100 proofRebel whiskey.
So I'm going to be doing thatagain.
(03:56):
I can't beat it.
The flavor's decent and lessthan $20.
It's good to go.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Definitely can't complain about that.
I love a nice, efficient, priceliquor.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
If you get a bottle of Jack Daniels it's going to be
$20.
But Rebel 15, in my opinion ittastes more like a bourbon than
Jack Daniels does.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
This might be controversial.
Jack Daniels is ass.
I hate it is by far my leastfavorite, especially popular
whiskey.
I hate it.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I think it's so unenjoyable to my palate it has
an unnatural flavor to it, likea flatness at the end, like
artificial flavor.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah yeah, what chemical can we give these
people to make them feel alittle more?
That's what it tastes likeexactly, um, and yeah, I'm just,
I'm not about it, I'm not aboutit maybe they're uh distilled
in lead barrels and that's whatgives it its unique jack daniels
flavor I'm fairly certainthere's no barrels involved
(05:03):
anymore.
It's so freaking manufactured.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
That it's just.
You know they just have like a.
You know, when you go to themovie theaters and you pick your
flavor and all that kind ofstuff it's actually just corn
liquor and they're just puttingtea bags in it for color that's
right did you guys hear that thehuge whiskey exporters in
tennessee are having like a lotof trouble right now because of
(05:26):
the tariffs, like this fucker,that they voted for putting?
Tariffs on.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, and there's retaliatory tariffs and people
are purposely not buyingAmerican booze.
The big manufacturers whoexport a lot are feeling the
pressure really bad and it'sfunny because the small distill
distillers like who, who distill?
Some really good quality stuffand sell within the united
states.
They're doing really well, yeah.
Yeah, someone's that is massproducing and trying to get it
(05:53):
out of the country, though, yeahit's almost like we told them
that this would happen, butthey're fucking idiots.
I don't know.
Yeah, but we got the tariffs onchina, so we're good.
They own the libs.
Enjoy the destruction of yourbusiness.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
I feel so owned.
Right now We'll just line themup.
Does that mean the first toastgoes out to tariffs?
Our first shot, first toast.
This one goes out to tariffsand owning the libs.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Cheers.
Oh yeah, oh, yeah, oh yeah, Ifeel pretty owned.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Oh yeah, $15.
Fuck yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Feeling so owned, I'm feeling so owned right now.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
So fucking owned.
You can own me all night long.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Just like Lafemme and Akita.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Looks, do kill is the tagline that's so fucking funny
.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
That was fucking good .
Looks, do kill.
Ah, man, were you.
Were you too young for that,luke, or was that?
Did you remember seeing thatthe nikita yeah, yeah, I think
it was la fema nikita.
Yeah, I do remember, but I didnot watch right.
You just saw the intro.
Right after whatever it was youwere watching, you're like,
(07:18):
whoa, this is too sexy and weird, I'm coming.
No, that's right, in mypre-teens it was very.
It was just confusing for me Iactually have a special.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I never watched nikita, but the first older
woman I had ever been with atall.
I was a sophomore in highschool and she was a junior and
she used to bring a DVD playerlike a portable DVD player onto
the bus and she would watchNikita and so it's crazy, right
(07:54):
throw it on Spike so you knowshe was coming from a little bit
of money too.
I mean, this is 2005, thatshe's rocking a portable dvd
player on the bus to school andher parents watch premium sexy
tv exactly dad is addicted tospike at this time, you
(08:16):
understand.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Yeah I mean he's buying all of the fucking shows
on dvd.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
So clearly he's obsessed he was helplessly
addicted to spike.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah, your girlfriend didn't necessarily want to
watch nikita, it's just what herdad had collected.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
It's just all spike dvd she's like he was actually
like he was actually superaggressive about it too.
Like she's just trying to walkon the bus and he's like where
is your nikita?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
He started calling me Nikita and that's obviously not
my name, but I just have to goalong with it.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
It just is what it is .
My life revolves around Nikita.
It is what it is.
It is what it is, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Anyway, I want a handshake.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
My mom is white wine and ambient all day.
Well, so this second shot,second toast, this one goes to
our newest listeners.
These ones are coming at usfrom Hamburg, Hamburg.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Nice, Germany again.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, we're hitting Germany hard, so here's to that
Cheers, guten Tag.
I just don't know if you'relistening.
Yes, yes, glad you're enjoyingit Supp.
Yes, glad you enjoy it,supposedly.
I mean we keep getting hits inGermany, so I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Maybe there's a troll trying to find us.
Maybe someone just has a VPNthat goes through Germany pretty
frequently.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Could, be, Could be.
Thank you, yeah, let us know ifthat's you.
Yeah, hit us up, hit us up.
You know, remember, let us knowif that's you.
Yeah, hit us up, hit us up.
Remember, smash that subscribebutton, dude.
Yeah, but anyway, all right.
So let's line up this last one,final toast, final shot, final
(09:57):
hit.
This one is probably the lastnice thing we're going to say
about it, but this one goes outto the film this week Nobody 2.
Cheers, I love that part wherehe's like I'm a nobody too.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Yeah, you know, and the tone of the movie, that's a
great point.
Tone of the movie was weird,right?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Very bizarre, very fucking bizarre.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Didn't it seem like it oscillated way too much?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
It didn't seem very cohesive?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
no, not at all.
They could have winked at thecamera more.
They chose weird times to winkat the camera and then they
failed to do it in other timesand it felt just bad.
It felt like a bad effort atsatire is kind of what it felt
like, or like that like rightback of mind thought, I mean, I
(10:48):
don't know, I, I.
It was very weird, thoughdisorienting me, like yeah,
because I remember the first.
Nobody is just a kind of just astandard action movie, not like
like well, it's like a dadaction, if you will.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I feel like we're on the cusp of jumping right onto
this golden path, so let's talk,yeah, let's.
Let's talk ratings first.
Yeah, because we obviously wantto tear this thing a fucking
new asshole.
But first the fans want to knowwhat are you guys rating?
James, did you want to startthis one off?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
sure the acting was like a sci-fi movie.
I'll give.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
I'll give it not like a sci-fi movie on tnt or spike
no, I mean a sci-fi channelmovie.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Oh sorry, I mean it's like a sci-fi channel movie
where it was not good.
Nobody in this movie was doinga good job.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I I thought it was awful uh, you're talking like
tim curry and congo two is whatI give this.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I give this a two because, uh, people weren't just
flailing their arms above theirheads and being yeah, well, it
was to be fair yeah, oh, that's,that's true.
Sharon stone was like that.
Yeah, you know, I gotta say youcan't run a business if you
kill all your customers.
(12:07):
And then what was she proving?
What was she proving?
I was literally like, oh, likebecause at first the whole
proved the point.
I was like, okay, yeah, badass,like like showed everybody on
the floor like you don't?
She makes sense.
Then she like slaughtered momwhat?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
oh my god, what a fucking twist.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
The amount of money and effort that would then go
into silencing the families ofthose people yeah those people
are gonna come look at peopleare gonna be looking for a room
full of people who disappeareddisappeared.
I actually love sharon stone'sperformance because I think she,
uh, just played someone who wastruly you couldn't understand
(12:48):
and know.
It's a loose, like a true looseI think she was.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
She captured it so well she was trying to be a
carrie fisher if she never gotoff the the junk.
That's what it struck me as uh,carrie fisher like circa 1991
she was like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
She's like.
She was like a vampire.
She was like a very old vampire.
That was just like.
I don't care if I burn down butjust likes the building for
yeah, it doesn't matter in thelong run.
it was wild cinematography mansometimes, so I don't know if it
was like this for you guys, butthe action for me felt felt
(13:28):
jumpy, like the I tried to watch, like the action felt almost
blurry, uh, when he was likethrowing punches and stuff and I
was like I don't, this doesn'tfeel like it has weight or
impact, like a movie that did itwell recently that we talked
about was oh shit, what was thatmovie about?
Bouncing Roadhouse?
(13:48):
The Roadhouse remake when wewere like oh yeah, you really
feel the fucking weight of thefighting and stuff, like that
was something really good thatmovie did and this one didn't
have any of that.
It felt flat and it felt jumpy.
I felt the CGI was not good.
Like with the explosion withthe leg flying, that was bad.
(14:09):
I did bust out laughing butlike like I don't know but.
I don't feel like that's whatthey were going for, like if
that's what they were going for,like, but it wasn't.
It wasn't.
No, it was hard.
The, the tone of the movie wasinscrutable and the
cinematography didn't help that.
Sometimes it was really seriousand sometimes it was really
(14:32):
campy and it was impossible totell the two apart.
Yeah, uh, until you were rightin the middle you're like what
the fuck am I watching?
A score and soundtrack, uh,would you give the score?
for cinematography, oh, um, 2.2.
No, I'm just gonna say it itwas.
They didn't tell me shit withthe camera.
Oh, no damn thing.
(14:54):
They looked at the table, sawthey did that and that was the
only.
Thing the action studio that didthis movie is that same one
that came.
They were like an animated.
They did stick figure fightingand stuff, and they've done a
few movies where all of thecinematography and choreography
of fights look good and they itjust didn't land.
I as soon as they saw it I waslike, oh cool, we'll get some
cool fight scenes at the veryleast.
(15:15):
And I agree, it just didn't.
It wasn't.
Uh, what didn't capture me?
It was probably a failure bythe cinematographer, it's not
the choreographer.
Choreographer probably didgreat, but the cinematographer
failed.
Yeah, uh, score, I don'tremember it at all.
Two because, because I hatethis movie so it gets a two also
(15:36):
story and plot.
The plot was nonsense.
It was an absolute.
It was absolute nonsense.
The I've got a lot of goldenpath thoughts about the plot I
can't wait.
I can't wait I got a lot of.
I don't know how to talk aboutthe plot without golden path it
(15:58):
was.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
It was just throw a fucking score on it just throw a
score onZA anybody.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
God, what the fuck, what the fuck was that?
And I see he's and, if anyonewas wondering, he's still
obsessed with Katanas.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What was the Blade-esquefucking character?
I was like what the fuck ishappening?
He's tried it in like 15fucking movies, I swear to.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
God like 15 fucking movies I swear to god he wants,
he wants it to go like this ismy chance people finally get it.
It's never, never works man.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Sorry dude, but you're never gonna be a master
of the blade.
I give the story a two rewatchability.
I give it a one.
I was so unhappy with thismovie.
I got so much to say about theplot yeah, I need to.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Uh well, uh, luke, would you mind if I drop mine?
Yeah, go ahead, you go next,I'll finish, I'll wrap it up
right, so acting, uh, justatrocious, just atrocious, worst
being, I think, maybe his son,his son was so bad.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
I thought the owner of the park was really bad.
Yeah, John Ortiz Wyatt MartinGod, he was fucking awful.
I thought it was by far theworst performance.
I was like what?
What he brought me out of themovie every single time he was
on camera.
I was like what the fuck isgoing on?
He was absolute garbage.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
oh yeah, insane and let's not forget tom hanks, son
you forgot his, let's not forget.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
And he forgot his name sheriff it's.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
It's my colin hanks, my sheriff I'm gonna give,
acting on this one, a one,giving it a one.
No one came in and saved it.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Um, it was just trash , christopher lloyd is in this
movie and they put fucking haton him and glasses on and then
just made him kind of like whatwas that?
Like that character was sounderused and underdeveloped,
and then he just uses a fuckinggatling gun at the end of the
movie.
That was like star I wonder ifchristopher lloyd is suffering
(18:20):
some really bad health problems.
They're just like we're justgonna put a hat and glasses on
him and just have him stumblethrough the back.
We're gonna push his barelyliving body through this movie
and get him one last paycheckbecause he seems like he's got
one foot in the fucking grave I?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I hope not, because everything I've seen outside of
this film he seems like agenuinely sweet human being.
But sure he didn't do it, buthe didn't do anything.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
No, underutilized, he may have been saving grace to
this thing they wrote like thissuper long bit and then he got
on set.
They're like oh, this, this isway fucking worse than we
thought you were degradingbefore our eyes and I'm like all
right, what do we do about this?
Do we recast?
We don't have time to recast.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Put a bucket hat on.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Put some aviators on.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
So you can't see.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
I can't see, I can't see that aren't fucking focused.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
You're in yellow, but he's going to lose his house.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
We can't fire him.
He's going to lose his house.
It's depending on this page.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
I'm not an animal.
I'm not an animal, all right,well, roll it, lean him up
against this stick and we'llcarry the stick around.
Okay, sorry, oh my God, lean himup against this stick and we'll
carry the stick around.
Okay, sorry, oh my god.
Cinematography nothing to writehome about, um at all.
(19:57):
It, uh, it was confusing morethan anything.
They like, they like, they liketo attach the camera to
rag-dolling people and it wasjust disorienting.
Nothing new, nothing creative,but an attempt that failed.
So for that I give it a two.
The score there were good songsthat they used in this movie,
(20:17):
but they used theminappropriately.
No-transcript.
Yeah, it just wasn't doing itfor me.
There was good music, but itwas used inappropriately, like
the first.
(20:38):
Nobody opens with Nina SimoneMisunderstood which is just
grossly inappropriate, justinappropriate, and that's how
this soundtrack landed as well.
So for that I'm going to giveit a two, for at least having
some decent taste.
Just being inappropriate.
(20:58):
And the story was nonsense.
There was no lesson.
The closest I can figure wasthat the lesson was for the wife
to accept her husband'sultraviolence and understand
occasionally.
And help him.
Do it if she can, and help himif you can.
If you can, he needs you.
So don't be a bitch, is what Ithink, they were trying.
(21:20):
They were trying to tell theaudience you should be okay with
this lifestyle listen come on.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
There's gold.
There's golden path stuff here.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
We can't go into it so for that uh trash, uh, two um
and rewatchability, I will notsee this movie ever again.
Is not happening, so go fuckyourselves.
I will not watch this againthis is somebody's favorite
movie.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Somebody's gonna have this movie on every fucking day
forever.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Yeah, if I remember correctly, we can't give a zero,
so it's the best I could do,that is rough, a rough, rough,
rough, rough, rough, rough,rough, rough score.
Speaking of rough, rough, rough, where the fuck was the dog?
Like they made it seem like hewas gonna be a part of it, a
(22:10):
business critical Missioncritical fucking part of this
movie.
He was talking.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Oh my god, I was like what the fuck happened.
What is happening?
Like chekhov's gun is like oneof the most famous like story
concepts, like the mostwell-known story concepts, that
when you show a gun on thefucking wall, the gun in the
first act, the gun gets fired inthe third act.
Like you bring attention to thefucking dog at the beginning,
(22:38):
that you gotta fire the dog andshoot the dog off you can walk
into kindergartens and readbooks and they'll question wait
a minute, wait a minute.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
You check off.
Gunned that bottle of milk inthe beginning.
Where did it go?
Speaker 1 (22:54):
um so sergeant peanut butter's oreo flag was right on
the first page and I don't knowwhat happened to it so, yeah, a
lot of questions here.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
So, uh, yeah, that's what I give it.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Fuck this piece of shit well, I uh, I don't think I
have, I don't think I have thescores to save the movie, but,
um, I do have a couple thoughts.
So, acting agreed, it was sofucking bad and there were a
couple people, uh, who really,really pulled it yeah out for me
, like I said.
John ortiz like what the fuck,that was awful.
(23:28):
I, I, just I, I couldn't.
Connie nielsen, too, like theuh, his wife was just, I don't
know if it was just hercharacter and how badly it was
written, but it just.
Oh, my god, I'm watching, I'mlike, oh, it felt uncomfortable
every time anyone was on screen.
Basically I thought she wasreally good in the first montage
if the movie was just that onemontage.
(23:50):
And then it was like, okay,that's it, just a short film
about a guy who's really sadabout his day-to-day killing
people, and his wife is sad too,and that's it, and that was the
end of the movie.
I'd like you know, well, okay,fucking great way to go.
Guys, so many people pulled meout of the movie.
No one was working off of eachother.
Well, um, I give it a one.
Uh, just didn't enjoy it.
(24:11):
Cinematography, it didn't pullme out.
I will say during the movie thatmuch never remembered being
like, oh, oh, my god, this isjust I can't even look at it.
But I do remember some of thevery close-up action shots and I
just I'm like I feel like thiswould be better if it was a
little bit more out and we couldlike, like you were working the
camera around the scene a bitmore and I just didn't like that
(24:34):
they were so zoomed.
It was like that they were sozoomed.
It was like they're trying todo like an uncomfortable, almost
body horror-esque camera style,but not leaning into it.
It's an action movie.
That's not what you're doingLike.
It's just not, you know.
Then there's that movie, him,coming out, right, yeah, and
(24:55):
that feels like what it's goingto be, like what they were
trying to do basically in um,but cinematography I gave it to
as well Uh, scores where I kindof split off from you guys.
I kind of liked the score.
I like remember saying I waslike oh, these are like, at
least they have good songs inthe movies, like, and it didn't
pull, I didn't think it wouldlike well, I thought were even
used, well, like that.
I was like okay, like fits thetheme of it, like the you know,
(25:17):
the main title of the song iskind of like okay, uh, which I
believe.
Oh, so they're making wordjokes for music.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
The good life was like a put one at one point
which, like I, was like okay,like it's supposed to be, like
them settling out again, justlike I, I didn't sure the way
they use the music it'sdeclarative you're saying that
they're using the music to guideus on the plot which is
commendable, yeah, but if theywere being appropriate or
(25:45):
accurate, it would have beennon-stop seether god smack it
would have, and I think thatthat's something that I don't
necessarily personally, but Ithink they did well.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
It is this change of tone in music and it is done in
almost all guardians of thegalaxy and marvel movies and
things like that, where it'slike dude, these, these
superheroes are beating theever-loving shit out of
characters.
But it's fun.
It's fun, we're superheroes.
It's disney and that's kind ofwhat they did in this movie.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
It's like well, they were going for that
juxtaposition, but it it's.
In my opinion, it just fellflat.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Hinder should have been on this album I feel like
that, dancing on the line oftrying to be gritty, but also
but yeah, um, and I just don'tthink they fucking did well, but
I still gave the score a three.
The story plot was god awful.
I fucking hated this movie.
Like I really really did not,and I don't say that often I'm
(26:42):
very like I'm like I go intomovies because, like most time I
like movies, like genuinelylike very little time do I like
come out and that was not fun towatch.
I'm like that was still fun,like even when it's not like a
phenomenal movie.
But this one, no, I just everyplot point they didn't push
forward, every plot point wasunderdeveloped.
There was just this weird likeyou're telling me the whole
(27:04):
fucking reason this guy getspulled in is because he gives
his son, gives tickets to a girlat an arcade.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
First of all, there's not gonna be which, by the way,
he had a girlfriend.
He had a girlfriend and there'sa saying I said right away I
leaned by the way he had agirlfriend.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
He had a girlfriend.
I said right away I leaned overto Cam.
I was like why are there allthese popular cool kids in this
arcade in the middle of fuckingnowhere?
This is like a rundown, one ofthose things where it's like
dad's favorite theme park andit's rundown the hotel room.
They leaned into it.
But then, once we're at thisarcade, it's like yeah, hip and
poppin, and now the cool sheriffson's there and he's just
(27:39):
hanging out with his girl.
What the fuck?
Oh, I, yeah.
I could go on and on.
Obviously we'll get more intoit on the golden path, but it
was just very bad one, very yeah, one didn't deserve anymore.
Um, and then rewatch abilitysame a one.
I, I, I was gonna give a 0.5,but I typically don't get below
the one on it.
But I'm definitely not gonna bethrowing this on again.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
I'm not gonna seek it out well, I did have a question
just for you guys while we'reon the rating topic, because
we're never gonna watch thispiece of shit again.
But so gun to your head.
You have one movie you couldwatch for the rest of your life,
and it's either zack snyder'srebel moon or nobody too, oh no
(28:24):
oh my god I kill myself.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
You have to have it on like look at.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Oh, I spit in his face.
Yeah, so you only get one film.
You get one film for the restof your life.
The next time you put on acomfort watch, the next time
family's over they're like, hey,let's watch something.
You could only suggest onefucking thing.
Your TV only works one thing.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Whenever you step in front of any screen, that's what
plays.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
That's what plays.
There is no safety from it, um,and they novelize both of these
for you, so reading is not anescape either.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Rebel moon is what I think rebels christ this is a
really really bad movie.
No, this was really bad.
I really just didn't enjoy it.
But, yeah, rewatch ability,I'll give it a one and,
surprisingly, just so, you guysuh, james, you rated it the
highest out of all three of us,which I'm not surprised.
Like there were certain.
(29:25):
This movie sucked it sucked ass, but it wasn't like the worst
kind of movie I've ever seen.
I've seen some really bad moviesI guess, like they had a budget
like, if you go and watch likea mystery science theater movie,
like the ones that they makefun of, but but like, watch it
without their commentary.
It's like a really awful movie.
(29:46):
Have you guys seen mac and me?
No, oh, you should watch itsometime.
It's fucking hilarious.
You should watch the mysteryscience theater of it.
But like, the movies just gotawful and it's a real movie and
there are just movies that areeven worse than this.
For real, guys, for real,they're out there, they are, oh
yeah, well, with that being said, the rating of this movie so we
(30:07):
can get a baseline is a, a 1.5out of 5, which is a.
That's a, that's a doozy.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
That's a rough score that's a rough score for,
especially from us.
I'm not gonna lie, though.
If I had to pick between rebelmoon and this, I might pick this
, just because, oh, fuckingfaster.
It's not gonna pretend it'ssomething.
It's not gonna pretend there'sa grand thought process behind
it, like it knows it's trash.
Every time I put in rebel moon,though, I could just see
(30:35):
fucking zach snyder sittingthere going this is the greatest
thing that's ever been made,and if you disagree, you just
don't understand.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
I'm like fuck you zach, fuck you zach I don't know
if nobody too thought they weremaking something great.
They might have it's.
It's impossible to tell that.
I think we're on the goal.
I think we should do goldenpath now.
I think that's a golden path onit.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
It's time to jump onto the golden path, which
means it's time for a final shot, final toast, final hit.
This one goes out to one of theworst movies.
I don't know what this goes outto.
I'm so distressed right now Ineed to lie down.
The director goes out tofreedom of creativity.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Sure, yeah, yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Yeah, it's the freedom of creativity.
Creativity, sure, yeah, yeah,that's good.
Yeah, it's a freedom ofcreativity.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Where's the Tylenol, I think people should absolutely
be allowed to make god awfulmovies.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
I just I don't feel they should be allowed to make
money off of them.
People have decided that youhave lost all profit rights to
this movie, like make it sure,fine, yeah.
Yeah, you don't get to pay rentthis month, though, so I I hope
(31:52):
you kept your job at you knowthe convenience store wherever
the fuck it is that you wereworking before you did this
fucking thing poor christopherlloyd's out on the street.
Christopher, he's going wellhopefully the residuals from
back to the future, the one withthe cowboys, come in, god.
We should have known right then.
And there we should have knownpoor guy well, so all right.
(32:16):
So welcome to the golden Path,folks.
We're going to dive into thedeeper meanings behind this film
, to which I think there arenone, but what I believe is that
the fact that this was allowedto succeed, allowed to be a film
, allowed to keep ChristopherLloyd alive, says more about our
culture than the film itself.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Like suffering above him for puppeting him.
He might be dead Like it's thehamburgers yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
I got hamburgers.
Like a Muppet.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
It's Weekend at.
Bernie's.
That's so funny.
They put the hat and theglasses on him.
It's the same thing ChristopherLloyd's dead Weekend at
Bernie's.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Fucking hell.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
So you heard it here first, fucking hell so.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
You heard it here first, christopher.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Lloyd's dead.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Calling it, calling it here, but I did.
I did.
I was looking through theactors on this thing and I did
see that Christopher Lloyd hasbeen married five times with no
children.
And, honest, I like ChristopherLloyd.
(33:46):
Something in my heart tells mehe's a good person, but he was
the common denominator in fivefailed marriages and wound up in
a movie that did not seem tolike women.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
Yeah, that's true.
This movie did not seem to likewomen.
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
This movie doesn't seem to like women.
The first one didn't seem tolike them either no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Well, this is very much just like an easygoing,
like the main guy is the reasonwhy they're putting these like
happy tones over the beating ass, and it's because they want him
to be portrayed as a hero andkind of the good guy.
In reality, he's not.
He is an absent father, he's anabsent husband and he is, I mean
(34:31):
, a fucking sociopath at the endof the day, he's literally
killing people and then kind oflike typing on his phone but
they make it out to be like ahaha, this is fun and yeah, it
kind of allows for thosebehaviors in people in society,
and people who watch it go oh,I'm not, I'm not bad, I'm just.
Yeah, I'm just a little twisted.
(34:52):
Like this guy, I could stillhave a family and a wife and
kids.
It's like, no, you can't,you're fucking broken like, but
I think it does.
It does fucking uh, feed intothat a little bit into the, the
people who watch, and that's whyso many people follow.
That's why the first one haslike an 87 on fucking rotten 84
on rotten tomatoes.
(35:12):
Well, it's relatabilitytargeting, right.
The whole point is that theperson who's doing all the
violence has desires that arerelatable, and so you've got
people who are like, oh, Irelate to this, I also yearn to
do violence to prove that I canand that I'm powerful, even
(35:35):
though my life is out of control.
I also fantasize about violenceand then, like that's the first
step, right, that's the first uh, male, like kind of uh, midlife
crisis is like you don't feellike you're youthful or like
you're you have power anymorebecause you've domesticated, and
so this is the first uh uhcrisis, and so that was nobody
(35:58):
won.
That's what he had to deal with.
He's like people don't see meas a man anymore, I don't get
any respect, I'm gonna doviolence, and that's respect,
and that's what fulfills me.
And then the second one itshows oh, that's actually not
fulfilling.
It's just a part of you.
You just want to be innatelyviolent all the time and it
doesn't actually make you happyand everyone around you should
accept that part of you, yeahwell, what was so weird and
(36:23):
fucked up was the first one washim.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
The first one was him like rebuilding his marriage
and her becoming attracted tohim again because of the ultra
violence right then.
The second one was just herhaving to continue to accept him
.
Now for the ultra violence.
And look, there was a scene inthe first one where he couldn't
kill a family who was trying toprotect their baby and, uh, he
(36:50):
started punching a wall.
Like you weren't supposed togrow out of that shit long time
like you couldn't murder.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
So you have to physically like you still have
to do something to breaksomething how about you talk to
a fucking counselor?
Speaker 2 (37:05):
like, how about you and your wife fucking
communicate, talk?
And even in the second one theyrefused to talk yeah,
communication is the biggestvillain in this movie, really
it's not.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Wyatt it's communication.
It's the absent fathercommunication oh my god.
And then like her, thenparticipating in the violence
and yeah that luke was gettingat it, where it's like, okay,
we're gonna learn a lesson.
Right, we learned a lesson, sowe're gonna learn a lesson now,
like the ultraviolence isn'tactually good, we need to solve
(37:38):
the problem.
No, he just keeps doing it.
And then the family's like,okay, and even the son.
I don't know if he kills thatdude or beats the shit out of
that dude, but he comes up andhe's like your father would be
proud.
Cool, yeah, it wasn't.
At first his father was like no, don't fight, fight.
Now it's like your father wouldbe proud that you just murked
this dude.
Like cool it was that he didn'tmurk him yeah, he left him alive
(38:01):
, and it's like I would hope so,though like the bare minimum,
don't kill other humans.
But I just yeah, it was it thenlike pushing to just be like,
yeah, this should be okay withyou?
Why is everyone not, yeah, likehe's, this should be.
This is normal supportive yeah,shoot some guys with your
(38:23):
husband.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
It's very good uh-huh , what the fuck was wrong with
you.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
You were attracted to this in the beginning, remember
, you knew he was dangerous, andjust you knew he was dangerous
the, the fact that I feel likethey also tried to almost make
it seem like the children didn'tknow what the fuck was going on
with their father at that point.
They all know that he's intosome weird shit and I feel like
when she's leaving the cabin,leaves the children by
(38:50):
themselves.
She's like I'm gonna go for awalk and I was just like why are
you still trying to like hidethis fact, like what is
happening?
They're well aware there'sassassins coming.
That line felt so cheesy, soshitty just because it didn't
fit in that moment, oh God.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
Just a plot.
They were just pushing for noreason.
They had to go so out of theway to out sociopath, our
protagonist, sociopath that wehave, sharon stone, carrie
fisher, I don't fucking knowshe's cackling, cackling like a
(39:31):
witch out of her fucking mindand.
But then they like frothing atthe mouth, but then they like
bizarro world.
Girl powered it where, likethis is what happens when you
let girl power run wild.
They murder casinos of peopleand they dance weird and it's
(39:53):
just all around all aroundinappropriate dance, weird.
Well, inappropriate that'sweird.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
Well, I feel like that was like them trying to go
for the Joker, kind of likegoing down the stairs like
dancing and being crazy.
So bizarre Again, why, what ishappening?
Why is she like this?
Like what the fuck?
Well, the director I think thisis a good time to bring it up
the director Timo Ch chayanto, Ithink, was his name yeah, yeah,
(40:21):
he cannot direct a fucking, uh,general thought, like he's on
for so many sequels to thingsthat he didn't direct the first
one of, and he's making a trainto new york which is like a
ripoff of train to basan, whichis a korean zombie movie he's
not associated with train tobasan at all at all do
Speaker 2 (40:41):
that take you to the big four.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
So this guy does.
This guy doesn't have anyfucking original thoughts, and
so I think we really see that inthis movie.
Um, multiple regurgitatedthings, kind of like that again,
but like not fitting togetherin a cohesive puzzle.
They tried to teach a lessonabout how violence is bad, as he
(41:06):
continues to.
Do you remember?
Do you remember?
Like three quarters of the waythrough the movie he's like man,
violence is real bad and nobodyshould be doing this.
And he's like fucking, stabbedthis guy in the head 50 times.
Violence is bad and nobodyshould be doing this.
And he's like fucking, stabthis guy in the head 50 times.
Violence is bad, nobody shouldbe doing it.
It's like oh, this is so stupid?
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Do you remember Yui Bull, the dude Bull?
Yes, the dude who made thoseBlood Rain movies and the House
of the.
Dead and things like that.
And like not an originalthought in his fucking head, but
they were all really creepy injust the treatment of women and
off-putting, very off-putting,like you could tell, like this
(41:47):
dude is kind of fucked yeah, andthis really had that.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
This really this really had that shit and the and
the violence, uh porn, kind oflike the obsession with violence
, but also in a ridiculous way.
It wasn't like saying anythingabout violence, it was just like
the desire for the act of itand that's what I felt a lot in
this movie they acted like theywere criticizing it at some
(42:13):
points and then they didn't,they didn't do it no, no, no,
the lesson wound up being thatand like this.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Might not have been the lesson, but, as we have
determined many times on thisshow that when you know we walk
away with this lesson, that'seither you had something to say
or you're bad at your job.
So which is it?
And I walked away with this.
And the only person in thiswhole like the main character,
(42:40):
the guy I don't saw, goodman, uh, didn't learn a fucking thing,
right, he just got to keep beinghim.
The only person who learnedanything was his wife, and it
was to accept the sociopath.
You married and and fuckingdeal with it.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Yeah, and also become him a little bit yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Kill people with him.
If you want a vibrant sex life,you got to be prepared to take
a life.
I always think.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
Something that always bothers me In movies like this
Is where it's like someone whois not Been around this life and
they just come out and take alife and it's like nothing who
is not been around this life andthey just come out and take a
life and it's like nothing forthem it's such a bizarre because
, like, genuinely, there's mostpeople that that happens to.
They're gonna throw up like it'slike a crazy concept, crazy
(43:30):
thing to do the idea to killsomeone yeah, and just you know,
they did it in this one too andlike I just like I'm like she's
just like ha ha, yeah, ha, cooboo, yeah, everybody's just able
to kill people and get on withit.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
What?
Speaker 1 (43:42):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (43:44):
That's not a normal behavior.
As long as goodness based onsome arbitrary thought pattern
is met, you'll succeed.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yes, a very arbitrary and convoluted thought pattern
that is saying to its audiencethis is relatable, right, that's
the biggest part of this.
That makes it disgusting is tobe like this is relatable.
That's the whole point of themovie is, by calling it, nobody
Like this is relatable and sopeople leave and they're like
(44:14):
okay, this is relatable and it'slike no, motherfucker this is
not relatable any way shape orform.
No, it's gross.
If, if it's telling you it'srelatable, that's gross.
This is this needs to be aparody of that.
That's kind of what I felt likeit was so on the cusp of.
Are you trying to like leaninto?
Is this like a satire?
Is this like like?
(44:34):
Is it really?
It's like genius, actually likeyou're really leading into just
horrible.
I don't think we got a StarshipTroopers on our hands.
No, no, no no, that's why when Iquickly, as soon as the movie
finished, I went to see whodirected it, because I was like
okay who we got here.
Did someone try to tell us themessage and I was like, no, not
this guy.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
He's not this guy, he's not this fucking guy.
Well, I remember when it cameout and it was like this is how
fucked up I think Westernculture has gotten.
It was the antithesis to JohnWick, where John Wick was like
this is senseless, this iscompletely senseless.
John Wick is he's not trying toteach you a lesson.
(45:18):
There is no lesson here.
There is no lesson.
He is just killing people.
He is simply killing peopledon't be rude to people yeah,
don't get.
Don't break into a house andkill a dog.
Don't kill the dog beconsiderate.
Basically, he probably wouldhave let you go with the car.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Just don't kill dogs solid, the only message, yeah,
solid message.
Everyone remembers about themovie solid message but also
action done really well and theyknew what they was.
Just yeah, yeah, a cool actionfilm that was a dumb action
movie.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
That's fun.
It's fun.
This, however, was like theantithesis.
What if I'm just a normal guywho can't satisfy his wife,
doesn't know how to communicateand has these deep-seated?
Urges that I've never been ableto let out on a minority he
(46:15):
just wants to do the violence.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
Everyone always feels violence bubbling inside them,
right?
I also find it hilarious thatevery one of these jobs was
somehow in his local area.
He was able to be in home.
Like it was late home, but he'dbe home.
He wasn't there to get in, butwhat?
And leave early.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Just what the fuck is that it would be like hey,
here's your next job, here's theper diem.
You get $200 a night, you'regoing to be away from home for
two weeks.
We don't need you to clear outlower Cincinnati.
We have jobs all over the world, so that was nonsensical.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
What the fuck is this ?
How does he have this manypeople to kill in this small?
Where does he live?
Where does he live If Trumpwere to be able to leave DC or
any liberal city?
Speaker 2 (47:10):
really, oh God, this thing was nonsense.
Top Watches your own peril.
I think it is time now toinsert ourselves into this film.
We've reached that point.
We have publicly executed oneof the worst pieces of shit that
has come on this podcast, andit is now time to put ourselves
(47:32):
into it.
How do we change it?
What happens next?
I'll go first, if you guys areokay with that.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Okay, yeah, please, please, I'll go first, if you
guys are okay with that.
Yeah, please, please whathappens, james, I would enjoy a
lovely day at the water park.
I'd get super high, I'd beriding those slides and then the
(48:01):
next day, after all theseexplosions, I'd come back and
I'd be like what the fuck?
The water park is destroyed.
I have three more days.
What am I going to do?
I'll go to the arcade.
What the fuck?
Speaker 2 (48:19):
They give you a coupon for those hot dogs.
Speaker 1 (48:22):
I'm going to go to the warehouse district and see a
really cool warehouse full ofguns and trucks and buy away
what the fuck it's on fire no, Ilove that this small town had a
warehouse district whereobviously a minority is selling
guns oh, warehouse district wasso funny shit this is the
(48:48):
dumbest fucking movie ever I'dbe on the duck boat.
I'd be high on the duck boat.
Would you be the couple withthe headphones on while they're
fighting in the back?
No, no, I'd be the driver.
I'd be the driver of the duckover here.
We got like fish.
You can see if you look realclose.
(49:08):
Oh shit, it ate someone'sfinger, guys.
Well, this is crazy guys.
They're having their big fightand I'm distracted.
I crash the boat.
They all die.
I marry Connie Nielsen and gether.
I make sure she's satisfied.
(49:31):
I'll be home every night, asyou should.
What a twist.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
And you don't even have to kill anyone.
You just have to perform oralsex once in a while.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
I would do it all the time.
I love it I'll play balder'sgate all day and then and I'll
show up for my son's game tooI'll tell you after the fact you
be like you're doing reallygreat, champ, rip the bong.
I'm gonna go, your mom and Iare gonna go to the back seat of
(50:12):
the car.
We'll be right back.
You're doing great.
No notes, no notes, no notes.
Yeah, no, no, it's fantastic oh, my god, wow.
(50:36):
I just didn't expect that twistthat had some depth to that
story.
That's it.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
I love that.
He's the fucking boat driverand just on one vacation starts
eating out Connie Nielsen.
Well, I comfort her after herhusband's dead.
The tricks, the tricks.
All right, luke, how do youchange this film?
Speaker 1 (50:59):
So I really didn't know how I could change this
movie, but I think I've landedon.
I would like to be a guy whoowns the water park, but I have
nothing to do.
There is no drug there is I'mnot a sheriff, I'm just a stoner
water park owner who just has agreat thing going.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
It's fucking ravishing james actually has the
best time ever.
Speaker 1 (51:25):
It's the best.
The park's way better becausewhen he came I've already
refurbed it.
We we've put in new waterslides.
It's.
It's awesome.
It's got its own volcano, likevolcano bay.
Uh, it's.
The movie's about a really nicewater park and a family
vacation.
If you've seen grown-ups, thewater park scene except the
(51:46):
whole movie- luke sets thisplace up.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
It's very nice and it's a romance comedy between
james and connie nielsen, wherehe just gets high and performs
the most incredible oral sexyeah, and only the first 20
minutes of the movie.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
Uh is dude, I cannot his name bob.
Bob odin kirk, I don't know whyyeah, bob odin kirk is
literally only in the movie forthe first 20 minutes and that's
just to get to the point of theduck boat see where it crashes.
And then his part ends in themovie and it leads into the
romantic comedy of james.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
I like that Nielsen.
Speaker 1 (52:26):
So yeah, that's how I would.
I would not be a sheriff either, I would just let I would
definitely let Colin Hanks justtake that the reins over there,
and I would be a stoner waterpark owner.
Speaker 2 (52:40):
And it would be a phenomenal part Then for me I
think I'm the one who's's gonnasoftball in the pitch for you
guys to have this, because I amgonna be one of the guys in the
van.
When nobody too walks out ofthe door and he encounters a
bunch of dudes who come at himwith melee weapons, I'm gonna
(53:02):
shoot him in the chest and thehead.
Okay, that seems effective inthat scene where there was no
cover and they just decided theyneeded a melee fight.
I'm going to produce my firearmand I'm gonna shoot him and
then I'm gonna get back, thenthat's, that's Scene.
Speaker 1 (53:21):
Yeah, okay, scene.
So she's taken.
Well, that was weird.
And then the romantic comedystarts.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
And so now she's a wife who's mourning her sadistic
husband Right At a water parkrun by fucking Luke that's
fucking on top of its business,fucking luke, that's right,
fucking on top of its business.
And then she learns that lovedoesn't have to be this psycho,
sadistic nightmare when shemeets the stoner duck boat
(53:53):
driver really stable.
Speaker 1 (53:56):
I got a career and you just start.
I pay my employees extremelywell all of my employees are
compensated very fairly I'm theonly employee I got it I got the
whole fucking thing and he's,you know, and he's eating out,
got any nails in it.
It's a full service experienceis it just one of you or is it
(54:19):
you playing every employee inthe park?
Oh, that's a great question.
To run between differentstations?
Oh yes, absolutely.
I run quickly from the ticketbooth to the to open the gate
for them and then sometimes evenlike there's different outfits,
(54:40):
but sometimes you mix them up.
You put on the wrong hat andyou just like pop up at the
pencil stand, you have the waterhat.
Then it becomes clearly asatire.
Exactly, and it's funny.
We have a vision for it.
Speaker 2 (54:53):
That's the thing, not just honestly, I think, I think
what we have there is muchhealthier Phil.
Speaker 1 (55:03):
Oh, my gosh With resolution.
Lessons learned.
Head, which is always a goodthing.
Speaker 2 (55:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, james, given top, tier
top and it's important.
Yeah, and she realizes.
Wait, I didn't have to wait forhim to change or change myself.
I can just find an adjustedduck boat ride operator who's
(55:37):
willing to go down on me like afucking epileptic on bath salts
and I'll cook for you.
Speaker 1 (55:45):
I'll cook every night .
Speaker 2 (55:46):
He fucking cooks.
Speaker 1 (55:47):
He talks to my child like a human being my child is
no longer growing up to be asociopath and not a prop, and
the daughter was literally justthere to have a two, two child
family.
There was nothing else writtenfor her character nothing.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
That entire movie, nothing.
Yeah, she was just that 2.5child, that's.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was it.
Speaker 1 (56:11):
She got slapped really well this oh, yeah, oh
I'm sorry, I forgot that was thepurpose so the security guard
could randomly whack a littlegirl in the back of the fucking
head so that what the dad canbeat ass again.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
What the fuck yes, justify yeah by all of this
terrible behavior like hey,we're not treating this daughter
like a person at all, you'llnever see her being a person.
She's a.
She's a prop in yourmasculinity yeah, so you can
beat these dudes ass.
Speaker 1 (56:43):
I was like what the fuck is that?
That was fucking wild she's aprop and an excuse for violence.
Speaker 2 (56:50):
She's a prop in your masculinity, an excuse for
violence.
Meanwhile, james is justfucking going to town on your
wife.
Speaker 1 (56:58):
She's not coming home , she is not she is in the light
and it's cutting the scenes ofme with blueprints of new and
great innovations in mywaterfront, because I just love
this shit, I am passionate aboutthis waterfront.
Speaker 2 (57:19):
Yeah, just me you.
New innovation.
I love this fucking place.
Speaker 1 (57:27):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (57:30):
No, I don't want to run drugs through this small
town.
I want to live in my water park.
Do you understand how muchmoney?
Speaker 1 (57:36):
I'm making with this phenomenal water park.
I'm single-handedly runningtourism in this town.
Go fuck yourself.
Drugs and guns Power.
Speaker 2 (57:49):
This movie is so fucking bad.
Speaker 1 (57:52):
Yeah, but our movie is so fucking good.
Speaker 2 (57:54):
Our movie's good.
I have a bit part.
I just shoot the white guy andget back in my van.
We needed it.
Speaker 1 (58:03):
We needed that though .
Speaker 2 (58:05):
Sometimes you just gotta shoot a white guy, it's
okay this movie tells you it'sokay yeah, sometimes find some
small justification to murderthem.
Sometimes you just gotta shoota white guy, and so well.
I'm just glad that three whitemen finally got their two cents
in on this particular topic.
Our opinions are always.
I'm just glad that three whitemen finally got their two cents
in on this particular topic.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
Our opinions are always valid and necessary and
original.
Speaker 2 (58:36):
Hands down, hands down.
Yeah, if the director BloodRain showed us anything, so well
, there you go I do think it isour job to criticize the
mediocre white man.
Speaker 1 (58:46):
Midlife crisis yeah, 100 women.
Speaker 2 (58:50):
And it is our place to criticize well, I think,
honestly, I think I swear to godwe're not like that.
That's the white man's jobright now is to rip apart the
white men who need to go yeah,this shit sucks.
Yeah, this sucks.
Bob odenkirk, do better yeahyeah I love june saul.
You and zach snyder hook up,make a rebel.
(59:14):
Nobody three.
Nobody moon.
A nobody moon.
Yeah, go and fuck yourselves.
On nobody moon, we're high anddry podcast.
I'm your host, ryan barronnorth, with me, as always, james
crossland luke.
Nobody too sucks.
Speaker 1 (59:34):
Thank you all for listening but give it a watch
and inform an opinion no, that'swhat we're here for.
Speaker 2 (59:42):
You listen to us for an hour.
Don't watch this shit,seriously.
Bye.
cam was like what movie do you guys, do you want
to see this?
You know what like list downmovies, and I was like, well, we
have to go see nobody too.
I was like yeah she's listedall and I was like, but we have
to like.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Unfortunately, the choice is made for us well, and
I was telling callie like, look,I I feel because I was, I
watched, nobody won this morningbefore rolling into this thing
and I'm like, I'm sitting theretrying to tell myself like you
have.
You know, people count on thisshow to give them the truth, and
this is training you toobjectively look at something
(00:34):
that may be a piece of shit, butright, you know you have to
come on and share that.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
People need to know if it's a piece of shit.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
But part of my job is to be able to give the truth of
the matter is it a piece ofshit?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
and well, let's find out, let's find out.
So, on this week's episode ofdragon ball z, yes, yeah of high
and dry podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I'm your host, ryan Baron-North With me as always.
James Crosland, luke, how areyou guys doing today?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
I was better before this weekend I'm doing good.
It does suck to have to go seea movie you don't want to see.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Well, this is High and Dry Podcast, the only
podcast keeping alive the fandomof Nikita.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Oh, I like Nikita.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Oh, nikita, good was that on tnt I believe so, back
when that was a thing, oh my god, I remember they were like
nikita, right after basketballsomething to that effect, or was
it?
What was that?
One fucking channel for the men, like men didn't have enough
(01:46):
spike no, I, I don't think itwas spike.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I think it was tnt.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I was thinking it was tnt, but like spike, like
picked up the torch of tnt ohyeah, they took it a whole
nother step.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
They were like and ladies don't even turn on this
channel.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
This is just we don't want you here, and that's what
I felt from what we're actuallygoing to be talking about today.
So, from those of you listeningfor the first time, we're not
actually going to be talkingabout Nikita, that's another
podcast that we do.
We'll bring it up a little bit.
What we're going to be talkingabout on this one we're going to
(02:22):
knock out a film, and todaywe're going to be talking about
Nobody 2 one.
We're going to knock out a film, and today we're going to be
talking about Nobody 2, thenewest, I don't know how to.
We're going to describe it forthe next hour for you.
So we'll have all the time inthe world, and we're going to do
it in a beautiful three-partmethod guaranteed to get you
results.
All right, first, we're going tojump in, rate this thing and
give you the definitive ratingout of five stars.
(02:42):
All right, after this, youdon't need to go to Fandango
anymore.
That's what we're here for.
Those people are hacks.
All right, we're going to giveyou the true, true rating.
Round two, we're going to jumponto the golden path and we're
going to delve into the fuckinggolden shower that this fucking
movie was.
And then, finally, we're goingto insert ourselves, drugs and
(03:04):
our alcohol into the film.
What would make it different,what would make it unique?
And what makes us so unique isthat we're going to be doing it
drunk and or high.
So, fellas, what are yousmoking?
This?
Speaker 1 (03:13):
week.
I'm a repeat offender.
Watermelon OG for this week.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Keeping it fruity.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Keeping it fun, Keeping it light.
I got runts again.
He's got runts in the show inthe movie.
That's what the movie's aboutis his family.
I'm just doing runts again,yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Well, I'm going to be joining you here's, remy.
I will be joining you guys withthe one I did last night.
I believe it was Rebel, but for15 dots, remy excuse me, no,
get back, I'm being attacked bya taquita Alright.
So for $15, I get a 100 proofRebel whiskey.
So I'm going to be doing thatagain.
(03:56):
I can't beat it.
The flavor's decent and lessthan $20.
It's good to go.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Definitely can't complain about that.
I love a nice, efficient, priceliquor.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
If you get a bottle of Jack Daniels it's going to be
$20.
But Rebel 15, in my opinion ittastes more like a bourbon than
Jack Daniels does.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
This might be controversial.
Jack Daniels is ass.
I hate it is by far my leastfavorite, especially popular
whiskey.
I hate it.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I think it's so unenjoyable to my palate it has
an unnatural flavor to it, likea flatness at the end, like
artificial flavor.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah yeah, what chemical can we give these
people to make them feel alittle more?
That's what it tastes likeexactly, um, and yeah, I'm just,
I'm not about it, I'm not aboutit maybe they're uh distilled
in lead barrels and that's whatgives it its unique jack daniels
flavor I'm fairly certainthere's no barrels involved
(05:03):
anymore.
It's so freaking manufactured.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
That it's just.
You know they just have like a.
You know, when you go to themovie theaters and you pick your
flavor and all that kind ofstuff it's actually just corn
liquor and they're just puttingtea bags in it for color that's
right did you guys hear that thehuge whiskey exporters in
tennessee are having like a lotof trouble right now because of
(05:26):
the tariffs, like this fucker,that they voted for putting?
Tariffs on.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, and there's retaliatory tariffs and people
are purposely not buyingAmerican booze.
The big manufacturers whoexport a lot are feeling the
pressure really bad and it'sfunny because the small distill
distillers like who, who distill?
Some really good quality stuffand sell within the united
states.
They're doing really well, yeah.
Yeah, someone's that is massproducing and trying to get it
(05:53):
out of the country, though, yeahit's almost like we told them
that this would happen, butthey're fucking idiots.
I don't know.
Yeah, but we got the tariffs onchina, so we're good.
They own the libs.
Enjoy the destruction of yourbusiness.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
I feel so owned.
Right now We'll just line themup.
Does that mean the first toastgoes out to tariffs?
Our first shot, first toast.
This one goes out to tariffsand owning the libs.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Cheers.
Oh yeah, oh, yeah, oh yeah, Ifeel pretty owned.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Oh yeah, $15.
Fuck yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Feeling so owned, I'm feeling so owned right now.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
So fucking owned.
You can own me all night long.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Just like Lafemme and Akita.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Looks, do kill is the tagline that's so fucking funny
.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
That was fucking good .
Looks, do kill.
Ah, man, were you.
Were you too young for that,luke, or was that?
Did you remember seeing thatthe nikita yeah, yeah, I think
it was la fema nikita.
Yeah, I do remember, but I didnot watch right.
You just saw the intro.
Right after whatever it was youwere watching, you're like,
(07:18):
whoa, this is too sexy and weird, I'm coming.
No, that's right, in mypre-teens it was very.
It was just confusing for me Iactually have a special.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I never watched nikita, but the first older
woman I had ever been with atall.
I was a sophomore in highschool and she was a junior and
she used to bring a DVD playerlike a portable DVD player onto
the bus and she would watchNikita and so it's crazy, right
(07:54):
throw it on Spike so you knowshe was coming from a little bit
of money too.
I mean, this is 2005, thatshe's rocking a portable dvd
player on the bus to school andher parents watch premium sexy
tv exactly dad is addicted tospike at this time, you
(08:16):
understand.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Yeah I mean he's buying all of the fucking shows
on dvd.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
So clearly he's obsessed he was helplessly
addicted to spike.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah, your girlfriend didn't necessarily want to
watch nikita, it's just what herdad had collected.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
It's just all spike dvd she's like he was actually
like he was actually superaggressive about it too.
Like she's just trying to walkon the bus and he's like where
is your nikita?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
He started calling me Nikita and that's obviously not
my name, but I just have to goalong with it.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
It just is what it is .
My life revolves around Nikita.
It is what it is.
It is what it is, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Anyway, I want a handshake.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
My mom is white wine and ambient all day.
Well, so this second shot,second toast, this one goes to
our newest listeners.
These ones are coming at usfrom Hamburg, Hamburg.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Nice, Germany again.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, we're hitting Germany hard, so here's to that
Cheers, guten Tag.
I just don't know if you'relistening.
Yes, yes, glad you're enjoyingit Supp.
Yes, glad you enjoy it,supposedly.
I mean we keep getting hits inGermany, so I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Maybe there's a troll trying to find us.
Maybe someone just has a VPNthat goes through Germany pretty
frequently.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Could, be, Could be.
Thank you, yeah, let us know ifthat's you.
Yeah, hit us up, hit us up.
You know, remember, let us knowif that's you.
Yeah, hit us up, hit us up.
Remember, smash that subscribebutton, dude.
Yeah, but anyway, all right.
So let's line up this last one,final toast, final shot, final
(09:57):
hit.
This one is probably the lastnice thing we're going to say
about it, but this one goes outto the film this week Nobody 2.
Cheers, I love that part wherehe's like I'm a nobody too.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Yeah, you know, and the tone of the movie, that's a
great point.
Tone of the movie was weird,right?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Very bizarre, very fucking bizarre.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Didn't it seem like it oscillated way too much?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
It didn't seem very cohesive?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
no, not at all.
They could have winked at thecamera more.
They chose weird times to winkat the camera and then they
failed to do it in other timesand it felt just bad.
It felt like a bad effort atsatire is kind of what it felt
like, or like that like rightback of mind thought, I mean, I
(10:48):
don't know, I, I.
It was very weird, thoughdisorienting me, like yeah,
because I remember the first.
Nobody is just a kind of just astandard action movie, not like
like well, it's like a dadaction, if you will.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I feel like we're on the cusp of jumping right onto
this golden path, so let's talk,yeah, let's.
Let's talk ratings first.
Yeah, because we obviously wantto tear this thing a fucking
new asshole.
But first the fans want to knowwhat are you guys rating?
James, did you want to startthis one off?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
sure the acting was like a sci-fi movie.
I'll give.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
I'll give it not like a sci-fi movie on tnt or spike
no, I mean a sci-fi channelmovie.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Oh sorry, I mean it's like a sci-fi channel movie
where it was not good.
Nobody in this movie was doinga good job.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I I thought it was awful uh, you're talking like
tim curry and congo two is whatI give this.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I give this a two because, uh, people weren't just
flailing their arms above theirheads and being yeah, well, it
was to be fair yeah, oh, that's,that's true.
Sharon stone was like that.
Yeah, you know, I gotta say youcan't run a business if you
kill all your customers.
(12:07):
And then what was she proving?
What was she proving?
I was literally like, oh, likebecause at first the whole
proved the point.
I was like, okay, yeah, badass,like like showed everybody on
the floor like you don't?
She makes sense.
Then she like slaughtered momwhat?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
oh my god, what a fucking twist.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
The amount of money and effort that would then go
into silencing the families ofthose people yeah those people
are gonna come look at peopleare gonna be looking for a room
full of people who disappeareddisappeared.
I actually love sharon stone'sperformance because I think she,
uh, just played someone who wastruly you couldn't understand
(12:48):
and know.
It's a loose, like a true looseI think she was.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
She captured it so well she was trying to be a
carrie fisher if she never gotoff the the junk.
That's what it struck me as uh,carrie fisher like circa 1991
she was like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
She's like.
She was like a vampire.
She was like a very old vampire.
That was just like.
I don't care if I burn down butjust likes the building for
yeah, it doesn't matter in thelong run.
it was wild cinematography mansometimes, so I don't know if it
was like this for you guys, butthe action for me felt felt
(13:28):
jumpy, like the I tried to watch, like the action felt almost
blurry, uh, when he was likethrowing punches and stuff and I
was like I don't, this doesn'tfeel like it has weight or
impact, like a movie that did itwell recently that we talked
about was oh shit, what was thatmovie about?
Bouncing Roadhouse?
(13:48):
The Roadhouse remake when wewere like oh yeah, you really
feel the fucking weight of thefighting and stuff, like that
was something really good thatmovie did and this one didn't
have any of that.
It felt flat and it felt jumpy.
I felt the CGI was not good.
Like with the explosion withthe leg flying, that was bad.
(14:09):
I did bust out laughing butlike like I don't know but.
I don't feel like that's whatthey were going for, like if
that's what they were going for,like, but it wasn't.
It wasn't.
No, it was hard.
The, the tone of the movie wasinscrutable and the
cinematography didn't help that.
Sometimes it was really seriousand sometimes it was really
(14:32):
campy and it was impossible totell the two apart.
Yeah, uh, until you were rightin the middle you're like what
the fuck am I watching?
A score and soundtrack, uh,would you give the score?
for cinematography, oh, um, 2.2.
No, I'm just gonna say it itwas.
They didn't tell me shit withthe camera.
Oh, no damn thing.
(14:54):
They looked at the table, sawthey did that and that was the
only.
Thing the action studio that didthis movie is that same one
that came.
They were like an animated.
They did stick figure fightingand stuff, and they've done a
few movies where all of thecinematography and choreography
of fights look good and they itjust didn't land.
I as soon as they saw it I waslike, oh cool, we'll get some
cool fight scenes at the veryleast.
(15:15):
And I agree, it just didn't.
It wasn't.
Uh, what didn't capture me?
It was probably a failure bythe cinematographer, it's not
the choreographer.
Choreographer probably didgreat, but the cinematographer
failed.
Yeah, uh, score, I don'tremember it at all.
Two because, because I hatethis movie so it gets a two also
(15:36):
story and plot.
The plot was nonsense.
It was an absolute.
It was absolute nonsense.
The I've got a lot of goldenpath thoughts about the plot I
can't wait.
I can't wait I got a lot of.
I don't know how to talk aboutthe plot without golden path it
(15:58):
was.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
It was just throw a fucking score on it just throw a
score onZA anybody.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
God, what the fuck, what the fuck was that?
And I see he's and, if anyonewas wondering, he's still
obsessed with Katanas.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What was the Blade-esquefucking character?
I was like what the fuck ishappening?
He's tried it in like 15fucking movies, I swear to.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
God like 15 fucking movies I swear to god he wants,
he wants it to go like this ismy chance people finally get it.
It's never, never works man.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Sorry dude, but you're never gonna be a master
of the blade.
I give the story a two rewatchability.
I give it a one.
I was so unhappy with thismovie.
I got so much to say about theplot yeah, I need to.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Uh well, uh, luke, would you mind if I drop mine?
Yeah, go ahead, you go next,I'll finish, I'll wrap it up
right, so acting, uh, justatrocious, just atrocious, worst
being, I think, maybe his son,his son was so bad.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
I thought the owner of the park was really bad.
Yeah, John Ortiz Wyatt MartinGod, he was fucking awful.
I thought it was by far theworst performance.
I was like what?
What he brought me out of themovie every single time he was
on camera.
I was like what the fuck isgoing on?
He was absolute garbage.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
oh yeah, insane and let's not forget tom hanks, son
you forgot his, let's not forget.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
And he forgot his name sheriff it's.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
It's my colin hanks, my sheriff I'm gonna give,
acting on this one, a one,giving it a one.
No one came in and saved it.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Um, it was just trash , christopher lloyd is in this
movie and they put fucking haton him and glasses on and then
just made him kind of like whatwas that?
Like that character was sounderused and underdeveloped,
and then he just uses a fuckinggatling gun at the end of the
movie.
That was like star I wonder ifchristopher lloyd is suffering
(18:20):
some really bad health problems.
They're just like we're justgonna put a hat and glasses on
him and just have him stumblethrough the back.
We're gonna push his barelyliving body through this movie
and get him one last paycheckbecause he seems like he's got
one foot in the fucking grave I?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I hope not, because everything I've seen outside of
this film he seems like agenuinely sweet human being.
But sure he didn't do it, buthe didn't do anything.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
No, underutilized, he may have been saving grace to
this thing they wrote like thissuper long bit and then he got
on set.
They're like oh, this, this isway fucking worse than we
thought you were degradingbefore our eyes and I'm like all
right, what do we do about this?
Do we recast?
We don't have time to recast.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Put a bucket hat on.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Put some aviators on.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
So you can't see.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
I can't see, I can't see that aren't fucking focused.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
You're in yellow, but he's going to lose his house.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
We can't fire him.
He's going to lose his house.
It's depending on this page.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
I'm not an animal.
I'm not an animal, all right,well, roll it, lean him up
against this stick and we'llcarry the stick around.
Okay, sorry, oh my God, lean himup against this stick and we'll
carry the stick around.
Okay, sorry, oh my god.
Cinematography nothing to writehome about, um at all.
(19:57):
It, uh, it was confusing morethan anything.
They like, they like, they liketo attach the camera to
rag-dolling people and it wasjust disorienting.
Nothing new, nothing creative,but an attempt that failed.
So for that I give it a two.
The score there were good songsthat they used in this movie,
(20:17):
but they used theminappropriately.
No-transcript.
Yeah, it just wasn't doing itfor me.
There was good music, but itwas used inappropriately, like
the first.
(20:38):
Nobody opens with Nina SimoneMisunderstood which is just
grossly inappropriate, justinappropriate, and that's how
this soundtrack landed as well.
So for that I'm going to giveit a two, for at least having
some decent taste.
Just being inappropriate.
(20:58):
And the story was nonsense.
There was no lesson.
The closest I can figure wasthat the lesson was for the wife
to accept her husband'sultraviolence and understand
occasionally.
And help him.
Do it if she can, and help himif you can.
If you can, he needs you.
So don't be a bitch, is what Ithink, they were trying.
(21:20):
They were trying to tell theaudience you should be okay with
this lifestyle listen come on.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
There's gold.
There's golden path stuff here.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
We can't go into it so for that uh trash, uh, two um
and rewatchability, I will notsee this movie ever again.
Is not happening, so go fuckyourselves.
I will not watch this againthis is somebody's favorite
movie.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Somebody's gonna have this movie on every fucking day
forever.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Yeah, if I remember correctly, we can't give a zero,
so it's the best I could do,that is rough, a rough, rough,
rough, rough, rough, rough,rough, rough score.
Speaking of rough, rough, rough, where the fuck was the dog?
Like they made it seem like hewas gonna be a part of it, a
(22:10):
business critical Missioncritical fucking part of this
movie.
He was talking.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Oh my god, I was like what the fuck happened.
What is happening?
Like chekhov's gun is like oneof the most famous like story
concepts, like the mostwell-known story concepts, that
when you show a gun on thefucking wall, the gun in the
first act, the gun gets fired inthe third act.
Like you bring attention to thefucking dog at the beginning,
(22:38):
that you gotta fire the dog andshoot the dog off you can walk
into kindergartens and readbooks and they'll question wait
a minute, wait a minute.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
You check off.
Gunned that bottle of milk inthe beginning.
Where did it go?
Speaker 1 (22:54):
um so sergeant peanut butter's oreo flag was right on
the first page and I don't knowwhat happened to it so, yeah, a
lot of questions here.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
So, uh, yeah, that's what I give it.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Fuck this piece of shit well, I uh, I don't think I
have, I don't think I have thescores to save the movie, but,
um, I do have a couple thoughts.
So, acting agreed, it was sofucking bad and there were a
couple people, uh, who really,really pulled it yeah out for me
, like I said.
John ortiz like what the fuck,that was awful.
(23:28):
I, I, just I, I couldn't.
Connie nielsen, too, like theuh, his wife was just, I don't
know if it was just hercharacter and how badly it was
written, but it just.
Oh, my god, I'm watching, I'mlike, oh, it felt uncomfortable
every time anyone was on screen.
Basically I thought she wasreally good in the first montage
if the movie was just that onemontage.
(23:50):
And then it was like, okay,that's it, just a short film
about a guy who's really sadabout his day-to-day killing
people, and his wife is sad too,and that's it, and that was the
end of the movie.
I'd like you know, well, okay,fucking great way to go.
Guys, so many people pulled meout of the movie.
No one was working off of eachother.
Well, um, I give it a one.
Uh, just didn't enjoy it.
(24:11):
Cinematography, it didn't pullme out.
I will say during the movie thatmuch never remembered being
like, oh, oh, my god, this isjust I can't even look at it.
But I do remember some of thevery close-up action shots and I
just I'm like I feel like thiswould be better if it was a
little bit more out and we couldlike, like you were working the
camera around the scene a bitmore and I just didn't like that
(24:34):
they were so zoomed.
It was like that they were sozoomed.
It was like they're trying todo like an uncomfortable, almost
body horror-esque camera style,but not leaning into it.
It's an action movie.
That's not what you're doingLike.
It's just not, you know.
Then there's that movie, him,coming out, right, yeah, and
(24:55):
that feels like what it's goingto be, like what they were
trying to do basically in um,but cinematography I gave it to
as well Uh, scores where I kindof split off from you guys.
I kind of liked the score.
I like remember saying I waslike oh, these are like, at
least they have good songs inthe movies, like, and it didn't
pull, I didn't think it wouldlike well, I thought were even
used, well, like that.
I was like okay, like fits thetheme of it, like the you know,
(25:17):
the main title of the song iskind of like okay, uh, which I
believe.
Oh, so they're making wordjokes for music.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
The good life was like a put one at one point
which, like I, was like okay,like it's supposed to be, like
them settling out again, justlike I, I didn't sure the way
they use the music it'sdeclarative you're saying that
they're using the music to guideus on the plot which is
commendable, yeah, but if theywere being appropriate or
(25:45):
accurate, it would have beennon-stop seether god smack it
would have, and I think thatthat's something that I don't
necessarily personally, but Ithink they did well.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
It is this change of tone in music and it is done in
almost all guardians of thegalaxy and marvel movies and
things like that, where it'slike dude, these, these
superheroes are beating theever-loving shit out of
characters.
But it's fun.
It's fun, we're superheroes.
It's disney and that's kind ofwhat they did in this movie.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
It's like well, they were going for that
juxtaposition, but it it's.
In my opinion, it just fellflat.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Hinder should have been on this album I feel like
that, dancing on the line oftrying to be gritty, but also
but yeah, um, and I just don'tthink they fucking did well, but
I still gave the score a three.
The story plot was god awful.
I fucking hated this movie.
Like I really really did not,and I don't say that often I'm
(26:42):
very like I'm like I go intomovies because, like most time I
like movies, like genuinelylike very little time do I like
come out and that was not fun towatch.
I'm like that was still fun,like even when it's not like a
phenomenal movie.
But this one, no, I just everyplot point they didn't push
forward, every plot point wasunderdeveloped.
There was just this weird likeyou're telling me the whole
(27:04):
fucking reason this guy getspulled in is because he gives
his son, gives tickets to a girlat an arcade.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
First of all, there's not gonna be which, by the way,
he had a girlfriend.
He had a girlfriend and there'sa saying I said right away I
leaned by the way he had agirlfriend.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
He had a girlfriend.
I said right away I leaned overto Cam.
I was like why are there allthese popular cool kids in this
arcade in the middle of fuckingnowhere?
This is like a rundown, one ofthose things where it's like
dad's favorite theme park andit's rundown the hotel room.
They leaned into it.
But then, once we're at thisarcade, it's like yeah, hip and
poppin, and now the cool sheriffson's there and he's just
(27:39):
hanging out with his girl.
What the fuck?
Oh, I, yeah.
I could go on and on.
Obviously we'll get more intoit on the golden path, but it
was just very bad one, very yeah, one didn't deserve anymore.
Um, and then rewatch abilitysame a one.
I, I, I was gonna give a 0.5,but I typically don't get below
the one on it.
But I'm definitely not gonna bethrowing this on again.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
I'm not gonna seek it out well, I did have a question
just for you guys while we'reon the rating topic, because
we're never gonna watch thispiece of shit again.
But so gun to your head.
You have one movie you couldwatch for the rest of your life,
and it's either zack snyder'srebel moon or nobody too, oh no
(28:24):
oh my god I kill myself.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
You have to have it on like look at.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Oh, I spit in his face.
Yeah, so you only get one film.
You get one film for the restof your life.
The next time you put on acomfort watch, the next time
family's over they're like, hey,let's watch something.
You could only suggest onefucking thing.
Your TV only works one thing.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Whenever you step in front of any screen, that's what
plays.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
That's what plays.
There is no safety from it, um,and they novelize both of these
for you, so reading is not anescape either.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Rebel moon is what I think rebels christ this is a
really really bad movie.
No, this was really bad.
I really just didn't enjoy it.
But, yeah, rewatch ability,I'll give it a one and,
surprisingly, just so, you guysuh, james, you rated it the
highest out of all three of us,which I'm not surprised.
Like there were certain.
(29:25):
This movie sucked it sucked ass, but it wasn't like the worst
kind of movie I've ever seen.
I've seen some really bad moviesI guess, like they had a budget
like, if you go and watch likea mystery science theater movie,
like the ones that they makefun of, but but like, watch it
without their commentary.
It's like a really awful movie.
(29:46):
Have you guys seen mac and me?
No, oh, you should watch itsometime.
It's fucking hilarious.
You should watch the mysteryscience theater of it.
But like, the movies just gotawful and it's a real movie and
there are just movies that areeven worse than this.
For real, guys, for real,they're out there, they are, oh
yeah, well, with that being said, the rating of this movie so we
(30:07):
can get a baseline is a, a 1.5out of 5, which is a.
That's a, that's a doozy.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
That's a rough score that's a rough score for,
especially from us.
I'm not gonna lie, though.
If I had to pick between rebelmoon and this, I might pick this
, just because, oh, fuckingfaster.
It's not gonna pretend it'ssomething.
It's not gonna pretend there'sa grand thought process behind
it, like it knows it's trash.
Every time I put in rebel moon,though, I could just see
(30:35):
fucking zach snyder sittingthere going this is the greatest
thing that's ever been made,and if you disagree, you just
don't understand.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
I'm like fuck you zach, fuck you zach I don't know
if nobody too thought they weremaking something great.
They might have it's.
It's impossible to tell that.
I think we're on the goal.
I think we should do goldenpath now.
I think that's a golden path onit.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
It's time to jump onto the golden path, which
means it's time for a final shot, final toast, final hit.
This one goes out to one of theworst movies.
I don't know what this goes outto.
I'm so distressed right now Ineed to lie down.
The director goes out tofreedom of creativity.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Sure, yeah, yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Yeah, it's the freedom of creativity.
Creativity, sure, yeah, yeah,that's good.
Yeah, it's a freedom ofcreativity.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Where's the Tylenol, I think people should absolutely
be allowed to make god awfulmovies.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
I just I don't feel they should be allowed to make
money off of them.
People have decided that youhave lost all profit rights to
this movie, like make it sure,fine, yeah.
Yeah, you don't get to pay rentthis month, though, so I I hope
(31:52):
you kept your job at you knowthe convenience store wherever
the fuck it is that you wereworking before you did this
fucking thing poor christopherlloyd's out on the street.
Christopher, he's going wellhopefully the residuals from
back to the future, the one withthe cowboys, come in, god.
We should have known right then.
And there we should have knownpoor guy well, so all right.
(32:16):
So welcome to the golden Path,folks.
We're going to dive into thedeeper meanings behind this film
, to which I think there arenone, but what I believe is that
the fact that this was allowedto succeed, allowed to be a film
, allowed to keep ChristopherLloyd alive, says more about our
culture than the film itself.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Like suffering above him for puppeting him.
He might be dead Like it's thehamburgers yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
I got hamburgers.
Like a Muppet.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
It's Weekend at.
Bernie's.
That's so funny.
They put the hat and theglasses on him.
It's the same thing ChristopherLloyd's dead Weekend at
Bernie's.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Fucking hell.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
So you heard it here first, fucking hell so.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
You heard it here first, christopher.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Lloyd's dead.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Calling it, calling it here, but I did.
I did.
I was looking through theactors on this thing and I did
see that Christopher Lloyd hasbeen married five times with no
children.
And, honest, I like ChristopherLloyd.
(33:46):
Something in my heart tells mehe's a good person, but he was
the common denominator in fivefailed marriages and wound up in
a movie that did not seem tolike women.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
Yeah, that's true.
This movie did not seem to likewomen.
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
This movie doesn't seem to like women.
The first one didn't seem tolike them either no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Well, this is very much just like an easygoing,
like the main guy is the reasonwhy they're putting these like
happy tones over the beating ass, and it's because they want him
to be portrayed as a hero andkind of the good guy.
In reality, he's not.
He is an absent father, he's anabsent husband and he is, I mean
(34:31):
, a fucking sociopath at the endof the day, he's literally
killing people and then kind oflike typing on his phone but
they make it out to be like ahaha, this is fun and yeah, it
kind of allows for thosebehaviors in people in society,
and people who watch it go oh,I'm not, I'm not bad, I'm just.
Yeah, I'm just a little twisted.
(34:52):
Like this guy, I could stillhave a family and a wife and
kids.
It's like, no, you can't,you're fucking broken like, but
I think it does.
It does fucking uh, feed intothat a little bit into the, the
people who watch, and that's whyso many people follow.
That's why the first one haslike an 87 on fucking rotten 84
on rotten tomatoes.
(35:12):
Well, it's relatabilitytargeting, right.
The whole point is that theperson who's doing all the
violence has desires that arerelatable, and so you've got
people who are like, oh, Irelate to this, I also yearn to
do violence to prove that I canand that I'm powerful, even
(35:35):
though my life is out of control.
I also fantasize about violenceand then, like that's the first
step, right, that's the first uh, male, like kind of uh, midlife
crisis is like you don't feellike you're youthful or like
you're you have power anymorebecause you've domesticated, and
so this is the first uh uhcrisis, and so that was nobody
(35:58):
won.
That's what he had to deal with.
He's like people don't see meas a man anymore, I don't get
any respect, I'm gonna doviolence, and that's respect,
and that's what fulfills me.
And then the second one itshows oh, that's actually not
fulfilling.
It's just a part of you.
You just want to be innatelyviolent all the time and it
doesn't actually make you happyand everyone around you should
accept that part of you, yeahwell, what was so weird and
(36:23):
fucked up was the first one washim.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
The first one was him like rebuilding his marriage
and her becoming attracted tohim again because of the ultra
violence right then.
The second one was just herhaving to continue to accept him
.
Now for the ultra violence.
And look, there was a scene inthe first one where he couldn't
kill a family who was trying toprotect their baby and, uh, he
(36:50):
started punching a wall.
Like you weren't supposed togrow out of that shit long time
like you couldn't murder.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
So you have to physically like you still have
to do something to breaksomething how about you talk to
a fucking counselor?
Speaker 2 (37:05):
like, how about you and your wife fucking
communicate, talk?
And even in the second one theyrefused to talk yeah,
communication is the biggestvillain in this movie, really
it's not.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Wyatt it's communication.
It's the absent fathercommunication oh my god.
And then like her, thenparticipating in the violence
and yeah that luke was gettingat it, where it's like, okay,
we're gonna learn a lesson.
Right, we learned a lesson, sowe're gonna learn a lesson now,
like the ultraviolence isn'tactually good, we need to solve
(37:38):
the problem.
No, he just keeps doing it.
And then the family's like,okay, and even the son.
I don't know if he kills thatdude or beats the shit out of
that dude, but he comes up andhe's like your father would be
proud.
Cool, yeah, it wasn't.
At first his father was like no, don't fight, fight.
Now it's like your father wouldbe proud that you just murked
this dude.
Like cool it was that he didn'tmurk him yeah, he left him alive
(38:01):
, and it's like I would hope so,though like the bare minimum,
don't kill other humans.
But I just yeah, it was it thenlike pushing to just be like,
yeah, this should be okay withyou?
Why is everyone not, yeah, likehe's, this should be.
This is normal supportive yeah,shoot some guys with your
(38:23):
husband.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
It's very good uh-huh , what the fuck was wrong with
you.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
You were attracted to this in the beginning, remember
, you knew he was dangerous, andjust you knew he was dangerous
the, the fact that I feel likethey also tried to almost make
it seem like the children didn'tknow what the fuck was going on
with their father at that point.
They all know that he's intosome weird shit and I feel like
when she's leaving the cabin,leaves the children by
(38:50):
themselves.
She's like I'm gonna go for awalk and I was just like why are
you still trying to like hidethis fact, like what is
happening?
They're well aware there'sassassins coming.
That line felt so cheesy, soshitty just because it didn't
fit in that moment, oh God.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
Just a plot.
They were just pushing for noreason.
They had to go so out of theway to out sociopath, our
protagonist, sociopath that wehave, sharon stone, carrie
fisher, I don't fucking knowshe's cackling, cackling like a
(39:31):
witch out of her fucking mindand.
But then they like frothing atthe mouth, but then they like
bizarro world.
Girl powered it where, likethis is what happens when you
let girl power run wild.
They murder casinos of peopleand they dance weird and it's
(39:53):
just all around all aroundinappropriate dance, weird.
Well, inappropriate that'sweird.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
Well, I feel like that was like them trying to go
for the Joker, kind of likegoing down the stairs like
dancing and being crazy.
So bizarre Again, why, what ishappening?
Why is she like this?
Like what the fuck?
Well, the director I think thisis a good time to bring it up
the director Timo Ch chayanto, Ithink, was his name yeah, yeah,
(40:21):
he cannot direct a fucking, uh,general thought, like he's on
for so many sequels to thingsthat he didn't direct the first
one of, and he's making a trainto new york which is like a
ripoff of train to basan, whichis a korean zombie movie he's
not associated with train tobasan at all at all do
Speaker 2 (40:41):
that take you to the big four.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
So this guy does.
This guy doesn't have anyfucking original thoughts, and
so I think we really see that inthis movie.
Um, multiple regurgitatedthings, kind of like that again,
but like not fitting togetherin a cohesive puzzle.
They tried to teach a lessonabout how violence is bad, as he
(41:06):
continues to.
Do you remember?
Do you remember?
Like three quarters of the waythrough the movie he's like man,
violence is real bad and nobodyshould be doing this.
And he's like fucking, stabbedthis guy in the head 50 times.
Violence is bad and nobodyshould be doing this.
And he's like fucking, stabthis guy in the head 50 times.
Violence is bad, nobody shouldbe doing it.
It's like oh, this is so stupid?
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Do you remember Yui Bull, the dude Bull?
Yes, the dude who made thoseBlood Rain movies and the House
of the.
Dead and things like that.
And like not an originalthought in his fucking head, but
they were all really creepy injust the treatment of women and
off-putting, very off-putting,like you could tell, like this
(41:47):
dude is kind of fucked yeah, andthis really had that.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
This really this really had that shit and the and
the violence, uh porn, kind oflike the obsession with violence
, but also in a ridiculous way.
It wasn't like saying anythingabout violence, it was just like
the desire for the act of itand that's what I felt a lot in
this movie they acted like theywere criticizing it at some
(42:13):
points and then they didn't,they didn't do it no, no, no,
the lesson wound up being thatand like this.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Might not have been the lesson, but, as we have
determined many times on thisshow that when you know we walk
away with this lesson, that'seither you had something to say
or you're bad at your job.
So which is it?
And I walked away with this.
And the only person in thiswhole like the main character,
(42:40):
the guy I don't saw, goodman, uh, didn't learn a fucking thing,
right, he just got to keep beinghim.
The only person who learnedanything was his wife, and it
was to accept the sociopath.
You married and and fuckingdeal with it.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Yeah, and also become him a little bit yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Kill people with him.
If you want a vibrant sex life,you got to be prepared to take
a life.
I always think.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
Something that always bothers me In movies like this
Is where it's like someone whois not Been around this life and
they just come out and take alife and it's like nothing who
is not been around this life andthey just come out and take a
life and it's like nothing forthem it's such a bizarre because
, like, genuinely, there's mostpeople that that happens to.
They're gonna throw up like it'slike a crazy concept, crazy
(43:30):
thing to do the idea to killsomeone yeah, and just you know,
they did it in this one too andlike I just like I'm like she's
just like ha ha, yeah, ha, cooboo, yeah, everybody's just able
to kill people and get on withit.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
What?
Speaker 1 (43:42):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (43:44):
That's not a normal behavior.
As long as goodness based onsome arbitrary thought pattern
is met, you'll succeed.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yes, a very arbitrary and convoluted thought pattern
that is saying to its audiencethis is relatable, right, that's
the biggest part of this.
That makes it disgusting is tobe like this is relatable.
That's the whole point of themovie is, by calling it, nobody
Like this is relatable and sopeople leave and they're like
(44:14):
okay, this is relatable and it'slike no, motherfucker this is
not relatable any way shape orform.
No, it's gross.
If, if it's telling you it'srelatable, that's gross.
This is this needs to be aparody of that.
That's kind of what I felt likeit was so on the cusp of.
Are you trying to like leaninto?
Is this like a satire?
Is this like like?
(44:34):
Is it really?
It's like genius, actually likeyou're really leading into just
horrible.
I don't think we got a StarshipTroopers on our hands.
No, no, no no, that's why when Iquickly, as soon as the movie
finished, I went to see whodirected it, because I was like
okay who we got here.
Did someone try to tell us themessage and I was like, no, not
this guy.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
He's not this guy, he's not this fucking guy.
Well, I remember when it cameout and it was like this is how
fucked up I think Westernculture has gotten.
It was the antithesis to JohnWick, where John Wick was like
this is senseless, this iscompletely senseless.
John Wick is he's not trying toteach you a lesson.
(45:18):
There is no lesson here.
There is no lesson.
He is just killing people.
He is simply killing peopledon't be rude to people yeah,
don't get.
Don't break into a house andkill a dog.
Don't kill the dog beconsiderate.
Basically, he probably wouldhave let you go with the car.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Just don't kill dogs solid, the only message, yeah,
solid message.
Everyone remembers about themovie solid message but also
action done really well and theyknew what they was.
Just yeah, yeah, a cool actionfilm that was a dumb action
movie.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
That's fun.
It's fun.
This, however, was like theantithesis.
What if I'm just a normal guywho can't satisfy his wife,
doesn't know how to communicateand has these deep-seated?
Urges that I've never been ableto let out on a minority he
(46:15):
just wants to do the violence.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
Everyone always feels violence bubbling inside them,
right?
I also find it hilarious thatevery one of these jobs was
somehow in his local area.
He was able to be in home.
Like it was late home, but he'dbe home.
He wasn't there to get in, butwhat?
And leave early.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Just what the fuck is that it would be like hey,
here's your next job, here's theper diem.
You get $200 a night, you'regoing to be away from home for
two weeks.
We don't need you to clear outlower Cincinnati.
We have jobs all over the world, so that was nonsensical.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
What the fuck is this ?
How does he have this manypeople to kill in this small?
Where does he live?
Where does he live If Trumpwere to be able to leave DC or
any liberal city?
Speaker 2 (47:10):
really, oh God, this thing was nonsense.
Top Watches your own peril.
I think it is time now toinsert ourselves into this film.
We've reached that point.
We have publicly executed oneof the worst pieces of shit that
has come on this podcast, andit is now time to put ourselves
(47:32):
into it.
How do we change it?
What happens next?
I'll go first, if you guys areokay with that.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Okay, yeah, please, please, I'll go first, if you
guys are okay with that.
Yeah, please, please whathappens, james, I would enjoy a
lovely day at the water park.
I'd get super high, I'd beriding those slides and then the
(48:01):
next day, after all theseexplosions, I'd come back and
I'd be like what the fuck?
The water park is destroyed.
I have three more days.
What am I going to do?
I'll go to the arcade.
What the fuck?
Speaker 2 (48:19):
They give you a coupon for those hot dogs.
Speaker 1 (48:22):
I'm going to go to the warehouse district and see a
really cool warehouse full ofguns and trucks and buy away
what the fuck it's on fire no, Ilove that this small town had a
warehouse district whereobviously a minority is selling
guns oh, warehouse district wasso funny shit this is the
(48:48):
dumbest fucking movie ever I'dbe on the duck boat.
I'd be high on the duck boat.
Would you be the couple withthe headphones on while they're
fighting in the back?
No, no, I'd be the driver.
I'd be the driver of the duckover here.
We got like fish.
You can see if you look realclose.
(49:08):
Oh shit, it ate someone'sfinger, guys.
Well, this is crazy guys.
They're having their big fightand I'm distracted.
I crash the boat.
They all die.
I marry Connie Nielsen and gether.
I make sure she's satisfied.
(49:31):
I'll be home every night, asyou should.
What a twist.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
And you don't even have to kill anyone.
You just have to perform oralsex once in a while.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
I would do it all the time.
I love it I'll play balder'sgate all day and then and I'll
show up for my son's game tooI'll tell you after the fact you
be like you're doing reallygreat, champ, rip the bong.
I'm gonna go, your mom and Iare gonna go to the back seat of
(50:12):
the car.
We'll be right back.
You're doing great.
No notes, no notes, no notes.
Yeah, no, no, it's fantastic oh, my god, wow.
(50:36):
I just didn't expect that twistthat had some depth to that
story.
That's it.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
I love that.
He's the fucking boat driverand just on one vacation starts
eating out Connie Nielsen.
Well, I comfort her after herhusband's dead.
The tricks, the tricks.
All right, luke, how do youchange this film?
Speaker 1 (50:59):
So I really didn't know how I could change this
movie, but I think I've landedon.
I would like to be a guy whoowns the water park, but I have
nothing to do.
There is no drug there is I'mnot a sheriff, I'm just a stoner
water park owner who just has agreat thing going.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
It's fucking ravishing james actually has the
best time ever.
Speaker 1 (51:25):
It's the best.
The park's way better becausewhen he came I've already
refurbed it.
We we've put in new waterslides.
It's.
It's awesome.
It's got its own volcano, likevolcano bay.
Uh, it's.
The movie's about a really nicewater park and a family
vacation.
If you've seen grown-ups, thewater park scene except the
(51:46):
whole movie- luke sets thisplace up.
Speaker 2 (51:51):
It's very nice and it's a romance comedy between
james and connie nielsen, wherehe just gets high and performs
the most incredible oral sexyeah, and only the first 20
minutes of the movie.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
Uh is dude, I cannot his name bob.
Bob odin kirk, I don't know whyyeah, bob odin kirk is
literally only in the movie forthe first 20 minutes and that's
just to get to the point of theduck boat see where it crashes.
And then his part ends in themovie and it leads into the
romantic comedy of james.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
I like that Nielsen.
Speaker 1 (52:26):
So yeah, that's how I would.
I would not be a sheriff either, I would just let I would
definitely let Colin Hanks justtake that the reins over there,
and I would be a stoner waterpark owner.
Speaker 2 (52:40):
And it would be a phenomenal part Then for me I
think I'm the one who's's gonnasoftball in the pitch for you
guys to have this, because I amgonna be one of the guys in the
van.
When nobody too walks out ofthe door and he encounters a
bunch of dudes who come at himwith melee weapons, I'm gonna
(53:02):
shoot him in the chest and thehead.
Okay, that seems effective inthat scene where there was no
cover and they just decided theyneeded a melee fight.
I'm going to produce my firearmand I'm gonna shoot him and
then I'm gonna get back, thenthat's, that's Scene.
Speaker 1 (53:21):
Yeah, okay, scene.
So she's taken.
Well, that was weird.
And then the romantic comedystarts.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
And so now she's a wife who's mourning her sadistic
husband Right At a water parkrun by fucking Luke that's
fucking on top of its business,fucking luke, that's right,
fucking on top of its business.
And then she learns that lovedoesn't have to be this psycho,
sadistic nightmare when shemeets the stoner duck boat
(53:53):
driver really stable.
Speaker 1 (53:56):
I got a career and you just start.
I pay my employees extremelywell all of my employees are
compensated very fairly I'm theonly employee I got it I got the
whole fucking thing and he's,you know, and he's eating out,
got any nails in it.
It's a full service experienceis it just one of you or is it
(54:19):
you playing every employee inthe park?
Oh, that's a great question.
To run between differentstations?
Oh yes, absolutely.
I run quickly from the ticketbooth to the to open the gate
for them and then sometimes evenlike there's different outfits,
(54:40):
but sometimes you mix them up.
You put on the wrong hat andyou just like pop up at the
pencil stand, you have the waterhat.
Then it becomes clearly asatire.
Exactly, and it's funny.
We have a vision for it.
Speaker 2 (54:53):
That's the thing, not just honestly, I think, I think
what we have there is muchhealthier Phil.
Speaker 1 (55:03):
Oh, my gosh With resolution.
Lessons learned.
Head, which is always a goodthing.
Speaker 2 (55:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, james, given top, tier
top and it's important.
Yeah, and she realizes.
Wait, I didn't have to wait forhim to change or change myself.
I can just find an adjustedduck boat ride operator who's
(55:37):
willing to go down on me like afucking epileptic on bath salts
and I'll cook for you.
Speaker 1 (55:45):
I'll cook every night .
Speaker 2 (55:46):
He fucking cooks.
Speaker 1 (55:47):
He talks to my child like a human being my child is
no longer growing up to be asociopath and not a prop, and
the daughter was literally justthere to have a two, two child
family.
There was nothing else writtenfor her character nothing.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
That entire movie, nothing.
Yeah, she was just that 2.5child, that's.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was it.
Speaker 1 (56:11):
She got slapped really well this oh, yeah, oh
I'm sorry, I forgot that was thepurpose so the security guard
could randomly whack a littlegirl in the back of the fucking
head so that what the dad canbeat ass again.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
What the fuck yes, justify yeah by all of this
terrible behavior like hey,we're not treating this daughter
like a person at all, you'llnever see her being a person.
She's a.
She's a prop in yourmasculinity yeah, so you can
beat these dudes ass.
Speaker 1 (56:43):
I was like what the fuck is that?
That was fucking wild she's aprop and an excuse for violence.
Speaker 2 (56:50):
She's a prop in your masculinity, an excuse for
violence.
Meanwhile, james is justfucking going to town on your
wife.
Speaker 1 (56:58):
She's not coming home , she is not she is in the light
and it's cutting the scenes ofme with blueprints of new and
great innovations in mywaterfront, because I just love
this shit, I am passionate aboutthis waterfront.
Speaker 2 (57:19):
Yeah, just me you.
New innovation.
I love this fucking place.
Speaker 1 (57:27):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (57:30):
No, I don't want to run drugs through this small
town.
I want to live in my water park.
Do you understand how muchmoney?
Speaker 1 (57:36):
I'm making with this phenomenal water park.
I'm single-handedly runningtourism in this town.
Go fuck yourself.
Drugs and guns Power.
Speaker 2 (57:49):
This movie is so fucking bad.
Speaker 1 (57:52):
Yeah, but our movie is so fucking good.
Speaker 2 (57:54):
Our movie's good.
I have a bit part.
I just shoot the white guy andget back in my van.
We needed it.
Speaker 1 (58:03):
We needed that though .
Speaker 2 (58:05):
Sometimes you just gotta shoot a white guy, it's
okay this movie tells you it'sokay yeah, sometimes find some
small justification to murderthem.
Sometimes you just gotta shoota white guy, and so well.
I'm just glad that three whitemen finally got their two cents
in on this particular topic.
Our opinions are always.
I'm just glad that three whitemen finally got their two cents
in on this particular topic.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
Our opinions are always valid and necessary and
original.
Speaker 2 (58:36):
Hands down, hands down.
Yeah, if the director BloodRain showed us anything, so well
, there you go I do think it isour job to criticize the
mediocre white man.
Speaker 1 (58:46):
Midlife crisis yeah, 100 women.
Speaker 2 (58:50):
And it is our place to criticize well, I think,
honestly, I think I swear to godwe're not like that.
That's the white man's jobright now is to rip apart the
white men who need to go yeah,this shit sucks.
Yeah, this sucks.
Bob odenkirk, do better yeahyeah I love june saul.
You and zach snyder hook up,make a rebel.
(59:14):
Nobody three.
Nobody moon.
A nobody moon.
Yeah, go and fuck yourselves.
On nobody moon, we're high anddry podcast.
I'm your host, ryan barronnorth, with me, as always, james
crossland luke.
Nobody too sucks.
Speaker 1 (59:34):
Thank you all for listening but give it a watch
and inform an opinion no, that'swhat we're here for.
Speaker 2 (59:42):
You listen to us for an hour.
Don't watch this shit,seriously.
Bye.
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