039  The biggest barriers to love come from within our own brains. Today we are talking about a very common one:

The wired-in instinct to want to be right. To see ourselves and our way as right, and others ways as wrong. 

Why is this being right thing so tenacious and tempting? Listen in to find out and start to let it go...

Because, though totally normal, this instinct is counterproductive to creating a more loving fulfilling marriag...

 Sex and physical intimacy. They are the prime things that distinguish marriage from a roommate situation.

But, many women, especially us highly sensitive women, often find that we just don't’ feel like being sexual with our partner at the end of a long day--or ever!

If that’s a common experience for you, and you feel like it’s putting a damper on the connection and fulfillment you or your husband is experiencing in your marriage...

As a human being, especially a highly sensitive person, you’re going to have lots of feelings, many of which will be “negative” ones. Especially when it comes to the things we care most about, such as our marriages and relationships.

Does this mean you have to suffer through them, grin and bear it, or resign yourself to having an unhappy life and relationship? Of course not. You can, of course, thrive in life and love. 

But that will...

As highly sensitive people, we feel deeply. So when something happens with our partner that we don’t like, and negative emotions are stirred up, it can lead to reacting strongly. . .

 . . .often in ways that lead to more strife and conflict (think: withdrawing, running out of the room, snapping, criticizing, yelling, crying, ranting, going on and on trying to figure things out and feeling unable to stop talking, and other big displa...

035  We all have a biological imperative to feel worthy, to feel good enough. This need drives us in all aspects of our life. It is part of what pulls us towards love. 

But it is also in love that our sense of not being quite good enough, not being worthy, is most highlighted. 

Having a strong sense of self-worth is a big part of having a marriage that feels like the safest most loving zone possible…

And having low self-worth is the s...

034   What if you consistently felt like you were important, cared for, valued and like you deeply matter to your partner, and to all the people you care about? Like, all the time...no matter what happened?

How would that change your marriage….your life?

In a nutshell, it would free you up to have so much more fun, lightness, connection, love, and passion in your marriage, and simple enjoyment of your partner day in and day out. 

List...

033 Love flourishes when we feel safe. A sense of emotional safety is foundational to having a great - or even decent-- marriage. When both partners feel safe with each other, the real heights of love and connection are available. 

From that zone of love and safety in a marriage, communication is easy, conflict gets resolved quickly, and playful, passionate, tender ways of interacting just naturally effortlessly happen.  We can brin...

032   Many highly sensitive women feel so uncomfortable when their partners get upset, angry, triggered.

Often, they get upset themselves! 

Or else, they may tiptoe around in order to avoid emotional upheaval, feeling like they need to stop doing certain things (like asking for time to themselves), or start doing certain things...or they hold back on bringing up important topics because their husband may not handle it well.

If you do ...

031   Today we are talking about Communication and Authenticity Inhibition (which is one of the biggest things that stops many HSPs from actually having the relationship we want) and their cause: Negative Emotion Aversion.  

 We dive into how this all gets in the way of healthy effective communication (like asking for what we want), makes it hard to be honest and authentic in our relationships, adds a whole lot of unnecessary suffer...

030   Being willing to ask for what you want from your husband, whether it’s help with chores, or time to connect with him, is simply an essential part of feeling supported in your relationship. 

Many women, though, have resistance to asking for what they want, or simply go about it in ways that aren’t very successful, and then end up feeling discouraged, resentful, and unsupported in their marriage.

This episode helps you turn that ...

029  If you’re a sensitive woman who loves connection and wants to feel closer to your partner, this episode is for you.

There is so much connection available to us in our intimate relationships. And yet so many of us aren’t experiencing it --often, tragically, to the point that many women question if their relationship is worth continuing. 

But it’s most often not that connection is unavailable in our relationship, but because we’re...

028  To get what we want in our marriages, many of us HSPs unconsciously fall into using some tactics that...backfire. In this episode, I share what those are and dive deep into 2 of my personal old go-to’s: blame and criticism.

 They were at the heart of my first marriage's demise. From my end. I want to help you to avoid that experience. 

Blame and criticism can be sneaky, and insert themselves into our patterns of behavior jus...

027   Very often, as humans, we go about trying to improve our marriage backward: we're more focused on changing our partner than changing ourselves.

But focusing on him isn’t where you pack the most punch for actual change!

There is a more effective, easier, and more rewarding approach to improving your marriage, where you actually have powerful influence to have the loving, connected, supportive marriage you want with your husb...

026    What allows us big success in one area, and not in another? The answer has to do with not just what WE THINK matters most to us, but what we prioritize with our actions. 

When we truly value something, we put it at the forefront of our lives. Getting clear on this is key to success in our lives and marriages. 

Sometimes, through no fault of our own, we unconsciously undervalue the things that are most important, like our marri...

#025  I am celebrating this 25th episode of the podcast with a very special guest: My hubby! 

We get really open and honest and share what is great and not so great in our marriage-- so you can learn from us and make your marriage more loving and amazing.

We dive right in and discuss:

024   What makes you lovable? Can you make yourself more lovable? Is it your fault if your husband isn’t finding you irresistibly lovable? Do you have to EARN his love? Or are you totally lovable right now? 

Maybe it's not so cut and dry. Come find out in this episode.

If you ever:

#023   In this episode, I talk with Julia McGarey, the Life Coach for Parents of Highly Sensitive Kids, about how we sensitive parents can raise healthy happy kids AND have great marriages at the same time. 

Although it can often feel like a great marriage and happy children are mutually exclusive, they actually can go hand in hand. 

Tune in to learn how to make that the case for you and your family.

We cover:

#022  In this important episode (the last of the 3 part series about experiencing your man as a great partner),  learn exactly what to do to start encouraging your spouse to be and do more of what you’d like him to, while feeling so good about yourself--like you’re being the loving sensitive partner you want to be, too!

With stories to illustrate and inspire you, what I offer you in this episode will allow you to create a culture of...

#021   In the 2nd installment of this 3 part series, you will bring back some of the warmer feelings that form the basis of a truly lasting loving marriage. 

Despite what we’ve been told, lasting juicy love and romance aren’t just a result of the right “chemistry”. They are built on a foundation of friendship, respect and admiration for each other. 

Even in the healthiest of marriages, those are things we actually need to intentional...