July 17, 2023 • 10 mins
Hijack My Life Podcast: Selfishness vs Selflessness with Dr. Gene A. White Jr.
Introduction
In this episode, Dr. Gene A. White Jr. explores the topic of selfishness versus selflessness, two extremes of human behavior that significantly influence personal growth. He discusses the advantages and disadvantages of both, and emphasizes the importance of finding a balance between the two for substantial personal growth.
Key Discussion Points
Selfishness [00:01:00]
- Selfishness, often associated with prioritizing one's own needs over others, can be a form of self-preservation and self-care.
- Positive aspects: Allows for better self-care, personal growth, and establishing personal boundaries.
- Negative aspects: Can lead to strained relationships, lack of social support, and a lack of empathy for others.
Selflessness [00:03:00]
- Selflessness involves prioritizing others' needs over one's own and is often seen as a virtue.
- Positive aspects: Strengthens relationships, fosters a supportive social network, and leads to feelings of fulfillment and happiness.
- Negative aspects: Can lead to neglect of personal needs, burnout, stress, and feelings of being taken advantage of.
Key Takeaways
- Both selfishness and selflessness have their positives and negatives. The key to personal growth is finding a balance between the two.
- This balance allows for the prioritization of personal needs and self-care, while also considering and respecting the needs and feelings of others.
- The balance can lead to improved relationships, increased empathy, and more substantial personal growth.
Resources
Conclusion [00:09:00]
Dr. Gene A. White Jr. concludes the episode by encouraging listeners to embrace selflessness by assisting others in achieving their aspirations. He emphasizes that doing so can foster relationships, develop empathy, expand perspectives, and create a positive ripple effect. He also reminds listeners of the importance of striking a balance between selflessness and self-care for sustainable personal growth.
Contact
For more personalized guidance, listeners are encouraged to book a one-hour discovery session with Dr. Gene A. White Jr. through the Hijack My Life website.
Please note that the timestamps are approximate and may vary slightly in the actual podcast episode.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dr. Gene A. White Jr. (00:00):
Hey, good morning.
Good evening.
Greetings and salutations to all mygood people who have tuned into this
episode of the Hijack My Life podcast.
Now, my name is Dr.
Gene White Jr.
And I help busy professionalsfind balance, handle stress,
and reach their goals.
Today I wanna talk briefly about the topicof being selfish versus being selfless.
(00:24):
You see, selfishness and selflessnessrepresent two extremes of human behavior.
Now they both have their own advantages.
Um, they have their own disadvantages,and they can significantly
influence personal growth.
Now, it's important to note thatthese aren't black and white
categories, but they ratherexist on a spectrum of behavior.
(00:45):
Where most people fall is somewherein between those two extremes.
So let's start with selfishness.
Now this term carries a negativeconnotation generally and
is often associated with theprioritization of one's own needs,
desires, and well over others.
However, when you view it from a differentangle, selfishness can be a form of
(01:07):
self-preservation and also self-care.
Depending on your background, your moralsand your values, you could be operating
under the assumption that being selfish isnot okay, and that you need to make sure
that you're always being considerate ofothers and considerate of their feelings.
But I ask this question, so to whatextent now I submit that sometimes you
(01:31):
have to be selfish just to save yourself.
But let's look at these terms, bothpositive and negative, and we'll
look at the perspectives of each.
Now, for positive aspects of selfishness,selfishness can allow individuals
to prioritize their own needs,which can lead to better self-care.
Now this can include focusingon one's own physical and mental
(01:52):
health, um, also pursuing personalinterests and developing new skills.
By focusing on personalgrowth and self-improvement,
individuals can be more competent.
They can become more independent.
Being selfish can sometimesalso be necessary to
establish personal boundaries.
This can prevent others from takingadvantage of you, um, abusing your
(02:16):
time, your energy, and your resources.
Now, selfishness can alsohave negative consequences.
Excessive selfishness can lead tostrained relationships as it can
cause others to feel unappreciated.
Um, they can also feel neglected.
And when you are operating excessivelyin selfish selfishness, uh, it can
(02:38):
hinder your personal growth and it canlead to a lack of social support and
it can potentially create conflict.
Selfishness also can result ina lack of empathy for others.
Right.
When you experience this, you inhibityour personal growth by preventing
the development of importantsocial skills and understanding.
(03:00):
Now, if we're taking a look at theother end of the spectrum, selflessness
is often associated with altruismand it's generally seen as a virtue.
Now it involves prioritizing yourown needs and desires over somebody
else's and positively selflessness.
It can include, um, getting, havingmore strength relationships, and
(03:25):
it demonstrates that you havecare and consideration for others.
Now, it could contribute to personalgrowth by fostering and a supportive
social network, and you could, it'llprovide opportunities for collaboration.
Now, another positive aspect aboutselflessness is that, Helping others
(03:46):
can lead to feelings of fulfillmentand happiness, and it can also promote.
Personal growth by developingempathy and understanding.
But if we are looking again fromthat different perspective, excessive
selflessness can lead to theneglect of your own personal needs.
It can hinder your own personal growth.
You can have burnout, stress, andpotentially you can have a decrease in
(04:11):
your physical and your mental health.
So these are negative aspectsof being overly selfless.
Also being overly selfless.
It can sometimes lead to youfeeling like you're being taken
care, uh, taken advantage of byothers, which can cause resentment.
Um, and it also may inhibit yourown personal growth as well.
(04:31):
Both selfishness and selflessness.
They have their own positivesand their negatives, right?
So when we're talking aboutpersonal growth, there's you,
you have to find a balance.
Now this balance, it allows forthe prioritization of your personal
needs and self-care, while alsoconsidering and respecting the
(04:51):
needs and the feelings of others.
This balance can lead to improvedrelationships, increased empathy.
Ultimately, you get more substantialpersonal growth by finding this balance.
I have more to come.
But I'm curious, what are yourthoughts on today's topic?
Now, I myself, I've been wrestlingwith this topic for a few years
(05:13):
now, and I'm finding more andmore ways to kind of deal with it.
And I'm finding out more aboutmyself as I grow each and every day.
Now, I recently heard somethingabout Myron Golden that was
talking about wealth, and hesaid that money is not wealth.
And I thought, okay, so.
He said that wealth is equal tothe value that you can create
(05:34):
for someone else other than you.
Now, I was thinking aboutthis and it was a great video.
I'll put the link down into theshow notes and also the link
down at the bottom of this video.
Now, after hearing this, Iimmediately thought about this
quote that I heard once before, andactually, I mean multiple times.
It's a quote by Zig Ziglar that saysthat you can have everything in life
(05:55):
that you want if you would just helpother people get what they want.
And this aligns with the conceptof selflessness from this topic
and its potential positiveimpact on personal growth.
Now, this quote suggests that byprioritizing the needs and the desires
of others, individuals can ultimatelyachieve their own goals and desires.
(06:17):
It highlights the interconnected natureof human relationships and the idea that
by assisting others in achieving theiraspirations, then we as individuals
can also create an environmentof reciprocity and also support.
So when we think about this from apersonal growth perspective, this quote
(06:37):
emphasizes the importance of empathy.
Um, it also emphasizes collaborationand building strong relationships.
So, I want to talk about howthis quote relates to the topic
of selfishness versus, uh,selflessness and personal growth.
Number one, it fosters relationships byhelping others to get what they want.
(07:00):
Then individuals are investingin meaningful connections.
Now, this can contribute topersonal growth by creating a
supportive network that can provideopportunities, that can provide
guidance, and also emotional support.
Number two.
Developing empathy, so to effectivelyhelp others achieve their goals,
(07:20):
individuals must understand that whenthey emphasize with their needs and
desires, they are creating empathy.
They're, they're displaying empathy.
And cultivating empathy is an essentialaspect of personal growth as it
enhances emotional intelligence and itpromotes better understanding of others.
Number three, expanding perspectives.
(07:42):
Now helping others exposesindividuals to different perspectives,
challenges, and experiences.
Now this exposure can broaden one'shorizons and also facilitate personal
growth by encouraging openness,adaptability, and the acquisition
of new knowledge and skills.
Number four, creating apositive ripple effect.
(08:04):
Now when individuals assist othersin achieving their goals, it often
causes a positive effect, ripple.
And this can inspire guidance,reciprocation, a sense of purpose, and
all of these that contribute to personalgrowth and overall life satisfaction.
Now, it's important to note thatthis quote should be interpreted
with a balanced framework.
(08:26):
Now while helping others is valuable, it'salso crucial to ensure that personal needs
and boundaries should still be respected.
So striking a balance betweenselflessness and self-care allows for
us to have sustainable personal growth,and it prevents potential negative
consequences of neglecting yourself.
So what am I saying now?
(08:47):
Zig Ziglar's quote encouragesin individuals to embrace
selflessness by assisting othersin achieving their aspirations.
Now, by doing so, peoplecan foster relationships.
They can develop empathy, and theycan expand their perspectives.
They can create a positive ripple effect.
Now, this aligns with the positive aspectsof selflessness that we, um, discussed
(09:10):
earlier, and it also demonstrateshow prioritizing the needs of others
can contribute to personal growth.
Now, as I mentioned earlier, I'm ona mission to help busy professionals.
Find balance, handle stress,and reach their goals.
So if you identify as a person whofalls into this spectrum and then you
would like to dig a little deeper intohow we can get better together, then
(09:31):
come find me@hijackmylife.com and thenclick on the one-on-one coaching tab.
Now.
From there, you'll have the opportunityto book a one hour discovery session with
me, and we can take that deep dive intowhat will help you to achieve your goals.
The call is, Complimentary.
Um, and I'm looking forward toworking with you, but for now, I
(09:53):
just want to thank you for tuninginto this episode of the show,
and I hope it was valuable to you.
Now, if you indeed did find value, then Iwant you to go ahead and please share this
show with somebody this week, and thenalso help us to grow this community now.
As I've always said in past episodes,remember that in this life, we cannot
(10:14):
progress unless we process the personthat we are and implement the knowledge,
skills, and abilities that transformus into the person that we want to be.
I want to thank you for taking yourtime to spend a little time with me
and I truly appreciate it and I hope tospeak to you again on the next episode
of The Hijack My Life Podcast peace.
Hey, good morning.
Good evening.
Greetings and salutations to all mygood people who have tuned into this
episode of the Hijack My Life podcast.
Now, my name is Dr.
Gene White Jr.
And I help busy professionalsfind balance, handle stress,
and reach their goals.
Today I wanna talk briefly about the topicof being selfish versus being selfless.
(00:24):
You see, selfishness and selflessnessrepresent two extremes of human behavior.
Now they both have their own advantages.
Um, they have their own disadvantages,and they can significantly
influence personal growth.
Now, it's important to note thatthese aren't black and white
categories, but they ratherexist on a spectrum of behavior.
(00:45):
Where most people fall is somewherein between those two extremes.
So let's start with selfishness.
Now this term carries a negativeconnotation generally and
is often associated with theprioritization of one's own needs,
desires, and well over others.
However, when you view it from a differentangle, selfishness can be a form of
(01:07):
self-preservation and also self-care.
Depending on your background, your moralsand your values, you could be operating
under the assumption that being selfish isnot okay, and that you need to make sure
that you're always being considerate ofothers and considerate of their feelings.
But I ask this question, so to whatextent now I submit that sometimes you
(01:31):
have to be selfish just to save yourself.
But let's look at these terms, bothpositive and negative, and we'll
look at the perspectives of each.
Now, for positive aspects of selfishness,selfishness can allow individuals
to prioritize their own needs,which can lead to better self-care.
Now this can include focusingon one's own physical and mental
(01:52):
health, um, also pursuing personalinterests and developing new skills.
By focusing on personalgrowth and self-improvement,
individuals can be more competent.
They can become more independent.
Being selfish can sometimesalso be necessary to
establish personal boundaries.
This can prevent others from takingadvantage of you, um, abusing your
(02:16):
time, your energy, and your resources.
Now, selfishness can alsohave negative consequences.
Excessive selfishness can lead tostrained relationships as it can
cause others to feel unappreciated.
Um, they can also feel neglected.
And when you are operating excessivelyin selfish selfishness, uh, it can
(02:38):
hinder your personal growth and it canlead to a lack of social support and
it can potentially create conflict.
Selfishness also can result ina lack of empathy for others.
Right.
When you experience this, you inhibityour personal growth by preventing
the development of importantsocial skills and understanding.
(03:00):
Now, if we're taking a look at theother end of the spectrum, selflessness
is often associated with altruismand it's generally seen as a virtue.
Now it involves prioritizing yourown needs and desires over somebody
else's and positively selflessness.
It can include, um, getting, havingmore strength relationships, and
(03:25):
it demonstrates that you havecare and consideration for others.
Now, it could contribute to personalgrowth by fostering and a supportive
social network, and you could, it'llprovide opportunities for collaboration.
Now, another positive aspect aboutselflessness is that, Helping others
(03:46):
can lead to feelings of fulfillmentand happiness, and it can also promote.
Personal growth by developingempathy and understanding.
But if we are looking again fromthat different perspective, excessive
selflessness can lead to theneglect of your own personal needs.
It can hinder your own personal growth.
You can have burnout, stress, andpotentially you can have a decrease in
(04:11):
your physical and your mental health.
So these are negative aspectsof being overly selfless.
Also being overly selfless.
It can sometimes lead to youfeeling like you're being taken
care, uh, taken advantage of byothers, which can cause resentment.
Um, and it also may inhibit yourown personal growth as well.
(04:31):
Both selfishness and selflessness.
They have their own positivesand their negatives, right?
So when we're talking aboutpersonal growth, there's you,
you have to find a balance.
Now this balance, it allows forthe prioritization of your personal
needs and self-care, while alsoconsidering and respecting the
(04:51):
needs and the feelings of others.
This balance can lead to improvedrelationships, increased empathy.
Ultimately, you get more substantialpersonal growth by finding this balance.
I have more to come.
But I'm curious, what are yourthoughts on today's topic?
Now, I myself, I've been wrestlingwith this topic for a few years
(05:13):
now, and I'm finding more andmore ways to kind of deal with it.
And I'm finding out more aboutmyself as I grow each and every day.
Now, I recently heard somethingabout Myron Golden that was
talking about wealth, and hesaid that money is not wealth.
And I thought, okay, so.
He said that wealth is equal tothe value that you can create
(05:34):
for someone else other than you.
Now, I was thinking aboutthis and it was a great video.
I'll put the link down into theshow notes and also the link
down at the bottom of this video.
Now, after hearing this, Iimmediately thought about this
quote that I heard once before, andactually, I mean multiple times.
It's a quote by Zig Ziglar that saysthat you can have everything in life
(05:55):
that you want if you would just helpother people get what they want.
And this aligns with the conceptof selflessness from this topic
and its potential positiveimpact on personal growth.
Now, this quote suggests that byprioritizing the needs and the desires
of others, individuals can ultimatelyachieve their own goals and desires.
(06:17):
It highlights the interconnected natureof human relationships and the idea that
by assisting others in achieving theiraspirations, then we as individuals
can also create an environmentof reciprocity and also support.
So when we think about this from apersonal growth perspective, this quote
(06:37):
emphasizes the importance of empathy.
Um, it also emphasizes collaborationand building strong relationships.
So, I want to talk about howthis quote relates to the topic
of selfishness versus, uh,selflessness and personal growth.
Number one, it fosters relationships byhelping others to get what they want.
(07:00):
Then individuals are investingin meaningful connections.
Now, this can contribute topersonal growth by creating a
supportive network that can provideopportunities, that can provide
guidance, and also emotional support.
Number two.
Developing empathy, so to effectivelyhelp others achieve their goals,
(07:20):
individuals must understand that whenthey emphasize with their needs and
desires, they are creating empathy.
They're, they're displaying empathy.
And cultivating empathy is an essentialaspect of personal growth as it
enhances emotional intelligence and itpromotes better understanding of others.
Number three, expanding perspectives.
(07:42):
Now helping others exposesindividuals to different perspectives,
challenges, and experiences.
Now this exposure can broaden one'shorizons and also facilitate personal
growth by encouraging openness,adaptability, and the acquisition
of new knowledge and skills.
Number four, creating apositive ripple effect.
(08:04):
Now when individuals assist othersin achieving their goals, it often
causes a positive effect, ripple.
And this can inspire guidance,reciprocation, a sense of purpose, and
all of these that contribute to personalgrowth and overall life satisfaction.
Now, it's important to note thatthis quote should be interpreted
with a balanced framework.
(08:26):
Now while helping others is valuable, it'salso crucial to ensure that personal needs
and boundaries should still be respected.
So striking a balance betweenselflessness and self-care allows for
us to have sustainable personal growth,and it prevents potential negative
consequences of neglecting yourself.
So what am I saying now?
(08:47):
Zig Ziglar's quote encouragesin individuals to embrace
selflessness by assisting othersin achieving their aspirations.
Now, by doing so, peoplecan foster relationships.
They can develop empathy, and theycan expand their perspectives.
They can create a positive ripple effect.
Now, this aligns with the positive aspectsof selflessness that we, um, discussed
(09:10):
earlier, and it also demonstrateshow prioritizing the needs of others
can contribute to personal growth.
Now, as I mentioned earlier, I'm ona mission to help busy professionals.
Find balance, handle stress,and reach their goals.
So if you identify as a person whofalls into this spectrum and then you
would like to dig a little deeper intohow we can get better together, then
(09:31):
come find me@hijackmylife.com and thenclick on the one-on-one coaching tab.
Now.
From there, you'll have the opportunityto book a one hour discovery session with
me, and we can take that deep dive intowhat will help you to achieve your goals.
The call is, Complimentary.
Um, and I'm looking forward toworking with you, but for now, I
(09:53):
just want to thank you for tuninginto this episode of the show,
and I hope it was valuable to you.
Now, if you indeed did find value, then Iwant you to go ahead and please share this
show with somebody this week, and thenalso help us to grow this community now.
As I've always said in past episodes,remember that in this life, we cannot
(10:14):
progress unless we process the personthat we are and implement the knowledge,
skills, and abilities that transformus into the person that we want to be.
I want to thank you for taking yourtime to spend a little time with me
and I truly appreciate it and I hope tospeak to you again on the next episode
of The Hijack My Life Podcast peace.
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