#238 - Shenzhen's Fancy Resort and Vietnam's Road Trip

Vivek goes to Shenzhen for the first time since 2017, and Mohammed goes on holiday to Vietnam. They come back loaded with tales of bad crossings, motorbike adventures, and renewed love for Banh Mi.

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
So I reiterate here, the bill isdead.
The story of this great city is about the years before this
night. Hey everyone, this is Ho Ho Hong

(00:23):
Kong with me, Vivek Mabu, Bani and the other host who is.
Clearing his throat, Mohammed. Magdi.
Exactly. Mohammed Magdi.
Now we're back on the air still.Back from overseas.
Back from overseas, actually. Yeah, you recently, I just got
in the tree like two hours ago. I was actually up in Shenzhen
for an event just right yesterday and that was already
an adventure in. Overlands, not overseas.

(00:44):
That's true, yeah. Overlands.
Well, no, technically. I mean, when you can, you cross
the border, you're actually overlike a river, I think.
And the river probably gets the water from the sea, you know.
So from a technical point of view, because you actually go
over this bridge. This is two people who live in
Hong. Kong, yeah.
On Hong Kong Island. Yeah.
Well, I took for me to go towards that place, I have to go
over the sea of Hong Kong Islandtoo.
Yeah. So, OK, that that's fair.

(01:04):
That, yeah, but not air. How did you go?
A train? No, wait, I was going, oh, is
it? I was actually going to guess
like maybe knowing how cheap youare.
Yeah, that now that you probablywent by like on foot.
Oh, just walked there. You.
Actually took the train. That's the most expensive way to
go. No, but the low, yeah, yeah,
yeah. But however, like, because for
me is like, I can go straight from Hamilton, straight up.
I can sit down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(01:27):
I mean, yeah, I mean, the bus isalright, but getting up and off,
off and on the bus, that was like shit down those stairs.
In normal circumstances, I don'timagine you taking the train to.
To to lower. Yeah.
I mean, so I that's what would be my default way because I do
like the train number one, especially now with Admiralty
going straight up. I'm like dude, this is great.
It is actually. It's very confusing.
Before it's annoying with the Hong Hong and I'm like, Oh my

(01:47):
God, you know? But now it's just like this.
Damn good. I I mean, even from the yeah,
from the West, West, yeah. With the fast track, yeah, the
fast train that's like. You're talking about like the
MTR. Yeah, the light blue one.
I like the the the West Kowloon,the.
Oh, you like that high speed train?
Oh, it's 15. Minutes 1512 Shenzhen to to
downtown Shenzhen. Really.

(02:09):
Yeah, dude, I, I saw that online.
Yeah. And I was like, there's
something wrong with it. This is not the right place,
man. It's it's actually 15 to like
what is the one with the boat inthe middle?
I have no idea what. Whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two or three.
Like main. Oh damn. 15.
Wow. I used to.
Before COVID, I used to live in TST.
Yeah. Like for the first like 6 months
when we're building the riff, I would just go and do spots and I

(02:31):
would walk from my place in TST,Yeah, to the Austin.
Station just go straight. Up like, you know, 2025 minute.
You set at 8:00 PM. You leave your house at 7:00.
I am basically leaving the houseat like 6:30 and I'm there
before the show. Starts.
Yeah, yeah. And I'm just like, so and then
so when I get off, actually the gig was close to the MTR
station. So I would get off the train,

(02:52):
get take the MTR on the Shenzhenside, go to the gig, come back
the same way, and then walk home.
I'm like home by like 11. It's crazy.
It's basically as if I'm just going to central.
And your your passport got chopped and everything.
What the hell? Yeah, Yeah.
I have so many stamps from that like 6 months, like the late
2019 Shenzhen, I remember opening for Joe Wong there and

(03:14):
he had like a Hilton gig or whatever on top of the Hilton.
And I remember very clearly, let's just like going there,
showing up after the gig start. I'm the opening act.
Yeah, yeah. And it's showing up and it's
like, oh, there's, there's showson already.
Did that be something like, yeah, one day you leave a
notebook over there, you come out to Hong Kong like, ah, shit,
let me go back. I'll be there in 20 minutes,
man. Yeah, like, you're coming back
from Hong Kong. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(03:34):
I'm just going through immigration like.
You know what's what's crazier? Back then, actually, you had at
least as a foreigner, you had topick up the actual physical
ticket for the for the Gautier, for the fast, for the high speed
rail. Yeah.
So which means it was actually extra step that you need to go
to the machine and as a foreigner is.
Also complicated on the. China side especially like when

(03:55):
you're dealing with the China anything related to that area.
And now it's even faster. You don't need to do that at
all. Your passport is actually now
the ticket. Oh, so now it could have been
even faster if I had that, like,because I went recently.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I I was actually thinking I
need to pick up the ticket and you're like, oh, you don't need
to do that. So now the passport is the whole

(04:16):
thing. Wow.
Which is even crazier. That's crazy, man.
Yeah. Yeah, well now I know something
new as well. I mean honestly this is like one
off thing anyway. So I was like, I just do the
this is the way I know and whatever.
So now you, you need to apply. So you first of all, you're we
realized you booked a gig in Chenzhen and you realize you
need a visa to go to China, which is hilarious.
So the gig was booked way back, OK.
It was booked in I believe, maybe March way, way early,

(04:39):
right? And I was like Chenzhen,
whatever. And I knew about this foreigner
pass card thing that Hong Kong residents, whatever can get
right? And I'll say I won't get it so
early because I'm not going to go there until September anyway.
I'm sorry, October. I'll get it sometime in August
because I checked it's 20 working days.
Right, but it also is valid for five years.
Yeah, but how cheap are you thatyou don't want to like?
Three months, I don't know because I was, I was applying,

(05:01):
you know, comfortably, obviously.
Bit you in the ass now you knowing what everything you
know. Yeah, now the problem is this,
because I was going to apply in August.
Of course August is when I injured my feet and everything
and I'm lying in bed going like,oh man, shit, you know, and I
need 20 working days. I'm like, I'll worry about end
of August, you know, I'll feel better.
I can maybe be more mobile. And so the long so the quick
version is that at the end of August I was like, you know, I

(05:22):
should apply for this thing. So I go online like you got to
do an online application thing, they will check the thing, then
you have to go in person to submit the.
It's not through the immigration, Hong Kong
immigration. No, no, China, China one, yeah,
yeah. So you have to first of all,
tell the Hong Kong immigration to give permission to that China
integration people to check yourstuff.
Okay, sure, sure. So you have to apply that thing
online. Whatever now, then at the same

(05:44):
time, once you've applied for the immigration thing, you had
to apply for a slot in there. Wait.
Wait, this is the return home card.
Yeah, yeah, the equivalent. But I thought the return home is
for actual Chinese people. So this is like equivalent idea
of the return home card non for for non Chinese.
Ethnically Chinese people. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
It's highly racist but like whatever you know, but the same.

(06:06):
What does the card say? So I believe the card, it's
called something for non Chineseresidents of Hong Kong and
Macau. Yeah, I.
Love the Super long. Yeah, it's always.
Have you seen the airports in mainland?
Because they don't want to say Hong Kong and Macau are like
international? Yeah, yeah.
So every departure building, every departure terminal all
over China, Yeah, says international Hong Kong, Cow and

(06:30):
Taiwan. Oh, Long Yeah.
It's like, yeah, because they need to cover like, oh, we
include these as well as ourselves.
Because according to the airlines, yeah, you're
internationals. Put it to China.
You're not. Yeah, Yeah, you're not.
Yeah, Don't wait a second. So we.
Have to put, yeah. And you can't put it in the
domestic because that's just nothow.
It's not domestic flying. Works.
Yeah, yeah. They're like, shit, We didn't

(06:51):
think that's really exactly. Yeah, yeah, this.
Didn't even have an acronym for like this should have like.
HKMT. O.
Yeah, HKMOTW TW Yeah, yeah, you know, it's like, yeah, one of
the things, but what's what's a hakamotoi?
Hakamotoi. And hey, that that's the Chinese
knock off of Hoktwa girl. Yeah, Hakamotoi.
Hank International and. Hoktwa.

(07:14):
So OK, Yeah, sorry. OK.
So, so end of August, I applied for this thing and you have to
go in person to the office now, the Hong Kong branch.
Hong Kong branch is packed untilthe end of September, right?
You can't get a slot over there.The other ones were like in in
Kuifong and Tune Moon and all stuff.
And so the Kowloon E, which is Kowloon Bay, Yeah, you know
what? All right, it's a new, it's in
the office area, so it'll probably have wheelchair
accesses. But whacking us still on the

(07:34):
wheelchair, right? With my two boots on my both
hands, both my feet. And I was like, I booked the
thing. I had to make sure like my mom
is available. I was like, it's Gloria not
working that day. Let's all go together because I
was like, just in case I'm the extra help.
I don't know what to expect. It's my first short trip out of
the house properly, right? So we go there, we get through
the thing. It's a hassle, but we finally
let's find the accessible entrance, which is all the way
at the back of the building. The snack.

(07:55):
You're actually on the wheelchair.
I'm on the wheelchair. Yeah.
So we had to find they had to like call the number to get
access. I thought it was just lift.
No, you have to go all the way, turn all the way to the back of
the building, right. Go to the back door entrance
from the way. Imagine having to do this in
English too. Yeah, right.
Like you're doing it in. Yeah.
And they're really. Struggling.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it was terrible.
But we got to the place, we lineup, we go them, give them papers
and that. Where's your immigration paper?

(08:15):
I was like. You don't line up your wheel.
Yeah, wheel. Yeah, wheel up.
Yeah, I got my wheels there, my rims and shit.
Yeah. So I go there.
Actually, Gloria helped me out to give the papers in and
they're like, where's the immigration paper?
Like this is it? That's the application form.
Where's the confirmation that weare allowed to check your status
through the Hong Kong immigration, Right.
And I was like, what the fuck, right.
Yeah. So apparently three days ago we
had a post postman person whatever come to the house to

(08:38):
give us registered mail, but we just happened to not be in the
flat at the time. Oh, so he left that little room.
And collected. And I didn't realize that that
was probably. That was it.
Yeah. So we were at that place.
We're like, shit, did we know? What is it?
Which one is it? We were like, I called the
building security guard. I'm like, can you check my
mailbox to see if there's any mail?
He's like, no, there's no mail. I'm like, fuck, what the hell,
man? And we were like, look, our

(08:59):
condition is like this. Is it possible you could just
process it? We'll come back tomorrow with
the letter if you get it right? Like, no, without the letter, we
can't do shit right. I was like fuck fine.
So you just like went like wasted the whole, yeah.
Yeah, And it was like a strugglebecause that was my first time
leaving the house, going downstairs.
And I'm like, Oh my God, I can'tgo downstairs.
This is crazy. It was terrible.
Yeah, we did that thing and we left.
We came back home, I did go to the park finally and I was like,

(09:20):
let's just sit in the park for abit and enjoy the view for a
bit. Came back home and everything.
I and then of course. All the years I've been telling
you try to appreciate nature andstuff, you're like forced now.
Yeah, I have to. Let me enjoy this week.
Touch the grass. Yeah, exactly.
You know, So luckily Gloria had that the, the the GPO box pickup
letter. And I was like, I tell you what,

(09:40):
why don't you do this? Why don't you, Since we're
passing by Central, we drop you off at the post office.
Just got the mail. You got the mail?
Get it anyway, just in case it is this thing.
Yeah. And my mom head on home.
Sure, we get home, she picks it up.
She's like, yeah, it's actually the immigration.
I'm like fuck, God damn it that was like that.
Was just the one paper. Yeah, the one paper.
So you the immigration is like authorizing.
Yes, the China, the people to gocheck my passport information.

(10:03):
Sure. And I was like, ah, that was it,
man Yeah, I said whatever, like go home.
However, my mom and go out busy the next few days, so I gotta
wait till they're free. And we booked like an
appointment on Thursday again. So it was a Monday.
We tried to go Thursday, right. So this is the end of August
kind of a deal. And then I was like, oh, but
Thursday is going to be this andhow about.
We 20 working days. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I did the math. I was like, that's fine, end of
September, I'll get it by then, you know, we're good.

(10:24):
And then so finally I had to push it to like, I believe,
yeah, 1st of September, some of that, yeah.
And I still did the math. I'm like, yeah, end of
September, That's 20 working days we did.
Everything's good. It's four weeks basically,
right. And then and I was like, just in
case we have the beginning of October, we're still good.
So we go there, give everything in, it's all good.
And I'm like sitting there waiting for the paper and
everything. He comes to give you the
confirmation paper because you can come and collect it on 10th

(10:46):
of October. Now my gig is January 11th of
October, Nice 10th of October Friday, 11th, October Saturday.
Yeah, even working on Saturday. No, they're not right.
So I tell him I'm like, I thought it was 20 working days
ago. I'm like do do do the math.
Yeah and so he does public holidays.
Yeah, he realizes the 1st of October thing yeah coincides
with also mid autumn festival. Yeah.

(11:07):
So there's that. Whole week is gone.
Right. So that because they're working
on the China on the schedule, Yeah, yes.
So that we can have as well. It's a golden week.
Yeah. So it's.
Delayed by week and I'm like, shit.
And I was like, is there any chance this might be early?
He's like, there's no chance he'll be early.
There's a chance he'll be late. OK.
Yeah. He's like, glad you asked.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It could also be late.
Yeah. Definitely not early.
Yeah. Yeah, I was like, oh shit, OK.

(11:28):
I was like, what about that visa?
Can I apply for visa? And he was like, I don't know,
it might clash with this thing. It might cancel this thing if
you get a visa. Oh, no, I was like, OK, fine.
But can I apply that I? I have no idea.
They're not the visa people. They're technically the same
company. Right, they're not the same,
whatever, but. Visa, I have no idea, right,
Right. Because like for them, like, I
don't know, I don't know. Why would you apply for the visa
after the Because this thing is 270 bucks.

(11:49):
Sure, visa is like almost $1000,right?
And then why would you do that? That's fucking stupid.
That's goofy. I'm like, yeah, this is the
whole point of doing this thing.Yeah.
So anyways, I was like, I fine, I left the next day.
I had to call the visa office people which don't pick up.
Yeah, they never, they never do.And I was like, you know what,
I'll just try the e-mail and send them emails.
Send them an e-mail to ask aboutthe visa.
I checked online visa. I was like, I can get it within
four days. Yeah, I'm like, all right, so I
have time. It's beginning of September.

(12:11):
I have a whole month to go. Worst case scenario, I applied
the visa. All good, right?
Yeah. So I emailed the visa office.
They emailed me back like 3 dayslater like.
Just just for for people's like the for background, you don't
have a Hong Kong password because Hong Kong password you
can access. Yeah, no, I don't have a Hong
Kong password. I have a British password.
So here I am going like fuck. OK, so this card I've applied
for paid 260 bucks for. Yeah, I can't probably get it in

(12:34):
time, so maybe I. Probably won't use again.
Exactly. Yeah, Which is stupid because.
For the one. Gig, you know, So then I find
whatever, and then I'll e-mail the visa people.
They've replied me within three or four days.
Yeah, they said, yeah, you can apply for the visa.
I'm like, all right, fuck it, I'm just going to apply, OK.
And I was like, you know what I'm going to do?
Give it a week just in case the the guy said 20 working days,
but turns out to do it in 10. Whatever.
Right. Yeah.

(12:55):
Oh, you're hoping that? Would they give it to you so
much earlier? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I was like, you know what they probably buffer in in
case. Yeah, but then you're delayed.
You're causing another delay. You're like stressing yourself
out again. So I took a week.
I was like, let me just see justin case, right?
Every day I check in processing and processing for the card.
I'm like, I and I was like by the middle of September, I'm
like, you know what? Screw this, let me get this
done. So I go on the visa website and

(13:15):
I see what the process is. Now this time is different.
You have to submit all your documentation, everything
online. Yeah, they will process that
when they approve it. Then you come in person to apply
for it. Yes.
Then the four days start coming there.
Yeah, I'm like OK, I have like around a week, sorry.
I have like around 3 weeks time.I'm good.
So I sent that in and a week later I got no e-mail.

(13:37):
So first of when you submit all the documents they don't give
you like. Yeah, disappears into the void.
Yeah yeah you like did they get it?
Did they not you know what I mean and I'm like OK always yeah
yeah and the website super slow yeah so I keep loading website
I'm like how do I even is there an account or anything you.
Log in. There should be an account,
yeah. It's not obvious at all.
You log in, you're like, where do I go?
Where do I go? Right.

(13:57):
So every time I'm on the website, I'm like, I don't know.
And then finally, I think when you log in the account word,
when it finally pops up, you gotto click on that.
Yeah. Wait for it to load a while and
then it will show your status. Yeah.
So a week later, I'm like, you know what, let me just e-mail
these guys. This is my my reference number
and everything. I have got no emails.
Sure. I just want to make sure I type
the draft. I keep it over there.

(14:17):
I got I got to deal with some other stuff as well.
And just when I go back to the draft, I see another e-mail
saying you're we've accepted your application.
Yeah. In person.
I'm like, whoa, OK. Damn.
OK. Shit.
That was, oh, that was timing, man, you know, and OK, sweet.
Let me, let me do the next day. Me.
Sure. So I remember.
So when you go for for the in person, you don't need an
appointment, you just show. Up.

(14:38):
Yeah, you just show up. Yeah, right.
But with your reference, whatever.
But you have to be early becauseit gets busy as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you just show up before
between whatever this time is. Sure.
OK, cool. So I was had to get the time
with my mom and as we got to do with one try, no problems.
I worked out of time with her. We said let's go on Monday,
let's get it done. I was like sweet, no, we don't.
It was some someday I forget it anyway.
And I think we did it Monday andthe pickup was going to be

(14:59):
Friday by the time right? So I had selected the multi
entry, normal speed, whatever. We went there again with the
wheelchair thing. The finding the accessibility,
access and everything is always a hassle.
But the wheelchair doesn't give you a priority.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Damn it. Yeah, it's not that, you know.
And the problem is like so again.
Because on planes you you would get.

(15:19):
Priority, you know, here, they'll give a shit.
Yeah, they're like, well, you will fix yourself, you know?
Yeah, exactly so. It's yeah, I mean, you know, get
better legs or something. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, exactly. You know, refund Taobao, you
complain to God. I don't know.
Is there a problem now? Yeah, but I'll tell you that
that day, I remember we had to like kind of discover how to get
into the building because we hadto find out where it was, all

(15:39):
that shit. And normally it's like you just
walk around, find it. Like, dude, we're not walking
around to find it. Yes, yes, let's make sure we're
there and then go towards that direction.
And let me just say I don't wantto be all like, no, I always use
tough and everything, but I've done enough of these
accessibility challenges and everything to realize it is
tough. But to actually have to do it
like on a daily basis on the wheelchair, it's like, dude, I

(16:00):
just want to say for anyone who's like, oh God, I just don't
want to walk. I'm like first of all, fuck.
You. Yeah, fuck you for having the
option. Yeah, you have the option, and
you're too goddamn lazy to walk right, Right.
You know what? You don't deserve to go
wherever. You want to be right, you don't
deserve your good. Leg.
Yeah, you know what I mean? And I was like, it's fine.
So we get there, submit the stuff, all good.
And they said when you pick up, you can.
You don't have to come in person, someone has to do it.

(16:21):
Yeah, because they have your actual passport.
Yeah, Yeah, You know, like it's a sticker.
Yeah, a little sheet of paper. You come back and when they said
that, I was like, I'm going to go to the counter in the
entrance, the reception and double check.
Yeah, Golf of this guy's an idiot.
It turns out it isn't. Yeah.
I have to get the counties. Yeah, you just have to.
Pay for anyone can anyone to payfor can pick it up a week.
Amazing. Yeah.
So on that Friday or something, I remember like I told my mom

(16:43):
when I was ready to pick up, I'mlike, can you go one of those
days? Right?
Yeah, you better pick it up ASAP, right?
It was, oh, before the typhoon. So she picked up on Monday.
Tuesday, everyone to everything went to hell.
Damn right. Yes.
Yes. Typhoon Tuesday, Wednesday kind
of thing. Yeah, it was fucked up and
everything. Yeah.
And obviously they're closed. Yeah, that's closed.
Yeah. You know, And then, like Friday,
my mom was busy this night and Friday.

(17:04):
Oh, my Friday my mom was flying,right?
You know what I mean? Yeah.
I was like, thank God we did this on that day and that on
Monday. That was basically the only day
pretty. Only day, yeah, holy shit,
finally I had the visa. I was stressful, yeah.
And I was like, OK, I have the visa, I can get it and.
Then the the. Card people, Yeah, on October
9th, Yeah, I get an e-mail from the car people.
Oh, your application has been delayed.
We will inform you when it's ready and I don't give a shit.

(17:25):
So they actually let you know just on their own that. 10th of
October is supposed to pick up so the 9th they're like, oh,
actually we're not done. I'm.
Like, yeah, you do. Yeah.
OK. So you don't even care.
About that, by the time I don't care, I can get into China right
now for my work, Yeah, it doesn't matter, yeah.
And you got the the visas for five years as?
Well, five years, Yeah, ironically.
And the card is. Five years.

(17:45):
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
So, yeah, you know, so I had to go China for that little private
party thing real quick stint andeverything.
I got that done and we were in like this resort ish area of
Shenzhen which I was like wow, this is I've never seen.
This we have actually some listeners in Shenzhen.
What's the resort like it was like?
It was like the that, that golden Bay, whatever it's
called, like it's a long, they'll know.
It's on the on the on the east side.

(18:06):
Yeah, you know, where you have awhole stretch of like resorts
and. And I was like, wow, this is
beautiful, I must say. Yeah.
Like if you if you really close your eyes and like, take a
moment like this is not China. Wow.
This is not the Shenzhen you would think, right, right,
right. However, I must say, like having
to pass that Shenzhen port, the Lowell port, Yeah, God damn,
dude, that place yeah, it's a mess, fucking mess.
Yeah, yeah, it's a my God. I remember we got to Lowell

(18:26):
like, Yep, I remember all this from.
Yours and yours, yeah, like, nothing.
That didn't get better, actually.
Yeah. But I mean Shenzhen itself has
gotten I think from what I remember before covered and then
I went recently and it was like it was, it was significantly
more advanced. I'm sure, yeah, like downtown or
whatever. I mean like before we just go
there for the gig and come back.You'll go for me to come back.

(18:48):
You know, I don't really exploreit much, but that low woo port
place, man, first of all, it's so same old touristy vibe.
Yeah, everything. I'm like, dude, like, are we
still doing this? Yeah, this is still working now.
Yeah. And the I mean you.
Look like. Yeah, just like.
Another guy just want to come and buy some handbags for me and

(19:09):
I was like I told Rory as well. I was like, dude, this this vibe
is giving me a very like here people like they are here just
to get what they want. Yes and not give a shit.
Yeah, right. You could.
Yeah, dude, yeah, we just do step over you if you're fucking.
They're like, I'm here for my shit.
I don't care if you break the. I don't care about this place.
I just want to get my stuff and get out of here.
And I was like, man, I cannot behere for too long.

(19:29):
The vibe was just disgusting. Yeah.
But then so basically we were walking around and that was
another thing when I was like, Ihad to find the toilet and I'm
like, Oh my God, every going downstairs is a hassle for me.
And I was like, Oh my God, dude.Like the number of we couldn't
find the the stairs, we couldn'teven get down there, the toilet.
To Hong Kong Guard, just like goto Shenzhen.
Yeah, actually. But now like a lot of people go
like because it's so much cheaper.

(19:50):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like now I think there is a bit
more positive attitude about it.Sure.
Yeah, I think it is because you haven't been for a while.
Yeah, That is, I feel like that people, I think what's
happening, that people go there and they know this area.
They're like, let's just ignore this area, Yeah, and go to where
we want to go. Yeah, Yeah.
You know, it's like, you know, you know, for example.
Oh yeah. That little rush of the line of
this area is always crowded. We'll get through.
That we find go to show it's crowded with true as we get it.

(20:12):
But what's your patches? Also why next time just take
them fast. That, yeah.
I agree. Now I know.
It's so good. Yeah.
Now I know. Yeah.
And you avoid all of that and it's really clean and
convenient. Yeah, yeah, fair enough, man.
And. Actually like obviously like
you're, you're roaming or whatever works.
Yeah like you don't even feel like you're like going like you.
It's as if you're thinking the MTR yeah, yeah, you're thinking

(20:32):
the MTR. You get out, you go into the.
Border and that's it. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. So both immigration is on this
side. Yeah, yeah, it's all in Hong
Kong. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
On Hong Kong. Obviously the Hong Kong
immigration itself is nothing with the Hong Kong ID.
Yeah, yeah. But China 1 can be a bit
annoying with the stupid departure card.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then that's it, yeah.
And then you're like basically in Shenzhen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, basically.
I know that's what that was a whole big argument before, but I

(20:53):
get why it is that way. Yeah, yeah.
But I mean at least Shenzhen hasplace as you said, like exotic
beach. Yeah, it has that.
So. So I must say I was quite
impressed with that and I finally had to install WeChat
Pay and everything. You had to wait, They paid you
on WeChat. No, no, no, no.
Oh, my God. So funny.
I don't have to spend this kind of money here.

(21:14):
Exactly. Yeah.
No, no, no. Yeah, no, you know, you know
where you can spend it buy handbag.
Hey, yeah, exactly. I gotta buy.
I will pay you on WeChat, but you can only spend it in China.
Exactly. Yeah, you can buy yourself a
goopy. Yeah, Yeah.
Or a RADA. I saw a photo that my favorite
one of all of these fake ones islow cost.

(21:36):
Low cost, low cost, Yeah, Yeah, low cost.
So good, just it's very like I would buy that actually the low
cost one it's. Funny.
Exactly. If you like.
Is this a RIP off? No, dude.
No, no, it's low cost. Yeah, it's a high.
Yeah, it's a low cost. High, high, high handy, high
class handbag. Yeah, exactly.

(21:58):
No, man, But yeah, I'll say. I mean, it was, it was cool.
What was the gig? It was a it was a company event
while I was just helping MC. Oh, yeah.
OK. Yeah, it's one of those yeah,
yeah, yeah. Kind of annual.
But the the like, yeah, it's thevenues in that resort.
Yeah, it was in the resort and everything, so it's nice, I must
say. I, I, I like working with the
company. We've done a few gigs before.
This is my first time going to Shenzhen since God, my 2017.

(22:19):
Yeah, I haven't been there in ages, man.
Damn. Yeah.
So. You have?
Yeah, because I remember trying to book you to go to Wuhan.
Yeah. For, for like I was booking all
these shows in China and you're like, not interested.
Yeah, yeah. Because I remember back then I
was busy. Because I went, yeah, Garen
went. I think Ryan, like a few people
went and they all had a good time.
Yeah, yeah. No, no.
But you were just not. Yeah, I was, because like, first

(22:40):
of all, the travel time, technically at that time I
didn't want to go to mainland China anyway.
And I knew with the with the visa, I was like, oh, that's
another hassle I got to worry about.
Yes, because back then the car thing wasn't happening yet.
Yeah, recently the car thing happened.
The car thing, yeah, but I mean,also the bigger thing here is
that China's like after COVID, like the economy obviously has
not yeah, recovered like, yeah. So well, so the oldest tourists

(23:02):
now are, are are OK to go in basically visa free or super
easy. Yeah.
Because when I was living there,like that was the biggest thing
was the visa for everybody. Yeah.
Like not just the foreigners living there, but like, even if
I have someone who wants to visit, it was just like always a
hassle. Like some from Australia,
America. Oh yeah, yeah, all of that.
And it's like the visa also, youget it for like, the time of
your travel, and you have to submit all these documents.

(23:24):
And now it's like anyone applying like you, it's just
like, oh, here's five years. Yeah, Like it's just like
completely. Now I when I applied I was like,
should I just a single? I'm like, I just do multiple.
Fuck it, you know, just in case I get another gig and I'm like,
the card is not happening. Give me five years.
I'm like what? Yeah, when?
One year was a hassle. They wouldn't even give you one
year. When I applied also just being

(23:45):
cheap like last time from here like 2 years ago and I was going
for the one trip and I didn't care I'm like I just do like the
cheapest one. Yeah yeah same.
They're like no do multiple. I'm like, can I?
They're like, no, just just do multiple.
Yeah. And then I did multiple.
They're like, oh, multiple entry.
And then we'll decide which. How long we'll give you.
Yeah. And then they just give me the
maximum at the time, which was two years.

(24:07):
Yeah, she's like, OK. Yeah, like, I guess we don't
want to hassle this shit. Yeah, yeah, I can imagine.
Yeah, this is paperwork you're wasting time with.
Yeah, but I mean, they're makingmoney every step of the way.
Because if you enter, they stillmake money anyway.
Yeah, of. Course.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'll give you this though, I
have to admit that the convenience of using your phone
to pay for everything, yeah. So what was your WeChat

(24:28):
experience like? It was.
Pretty, I mean like initially I was like, oh, do I top it up?
How does it work? And I connect to my bank
account. I'm like, OK, I got money in
there. This works.
And then then you start getting used to the whole like, yeah,
just whatever, scan the menu with your WeChat app and
everything's done for you. They're like, oh, this is great
and I was like, first of all it gives you the feeling of like I
don't have to worry about not going there like oh shit, do I
have enough cash? Yeah.
Secondly, no worry about oh shitchange.

(24:49):
Do I give you the change, however, it makes it so easy to
spend money, Yes, right. Yeah.
And lucky for us, like we've been in the generation where we
had to have use cash, Yeah. So we know the feeling like
that's a lot of money there. Yeah.
But if you never actually touched cash and given cash out.
You have no idea, just numbers. Numbers.
Are just concept, yeah, you know, and like you won't be like
that's a lot of numbers, like nodude, just press a button.

(25:11):
It feels the same. You know what's even more scary?
Yeah, right now is in Shenzhen and a lot of places in southern
China, they have the machines where you do the palm of your
hand. And actually that is not even
connected to your phone. Wow.
So I have a friend who just wentand filmed herself.

(25:31):
She used the phone just to film,but actually the phone was not
needed for the transaction at all.
She went into a Lawson, which istheir seven.
Yeah, yeah. Picked up a drink and filming
the whole thing went to the guy.He scanned it on his scanner.
Yeah. And then pressed the thing.
It shows the price 7 RB or whatever.
Yeah. And then she put her hand.
That was it. Not, not a fingerprint, just a

(25:54):
palm. Like didn't actually physically
touch the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It just read the palm of her hand.
Yeah. And then you see on the little
screens her photo now. Oh, man, yeah.
Now it's like it's. So it's still WeChat, Yeah.
You like you've approved. I know what you mean.
Like yeah, you that means yes. Basically, yeah, like that.
But WeChat Pay so far is you're supposed to use the phone.

(26:15):
Yeah, Yeah, you don't. Now you don't need that.
They have your database of everything.
That's it, yeah. And also how much money you
have. Yeah, that's very man.
I just like, I really want to doa sketch where like someone like
just cuts off someone's hand andshows up to the yeah, starts
paying. Imagine the the the the thing
from Addams Family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

(26:35):
I got this one. Yeah, it's so funny, but also I
imagine because a lot of the employees really don't want to
get in trouble. Yeah.
So they're like the payments accepted and they just don't
care. They're holding a separate hand.
Yeah, yeah. Bloody drooping everywhere.
They're like, sure, yeah. Transaction.
Is done, you know, dude, I can imagine like, like, you know how
the typical Asian thing of fighting to pay the bill yeah,
they're slapping each other handslapping you slap your hands

(26:58):
away and stuff they're playing like, you know that game when
you have one hand on top, one hand on the bottom yeah, whoever
like moves first yeah. So they're like, no, you're not
paying. No, no.
No, no, that's so funny. We can actually you should make
the restaurant should make like a little table.
That's how you pay now. Yeah, you do.
The table, you put it in the middle and make people play
that. Game.
Yeah, yeah. Whoever lands is then.
Yeah, right. Yeah.
It's like, you know, the card game where you have to slap the

(27:18):
card, That's one. The other one.
I get an idea. You've ever seen those things
where they have like you have like 6-7 butters on the wall?
Yeah. The reaction thing where you
have to slap the button when thelight goes on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Formula One drivers
training. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So the idea is that you want to pay.
Yeah. You know what?
The payment jumps around, whoever just slaps it first get
to pay. Just two or two Asian aunties.

(27:41):
Just going kind of fights and chases.
That's so fun, right? And then because like you can
imagine, like them training. So many, so many ideas for
restaurants. People here you.
Know for free exactly I can imagine like this big.
Payment wall. Yeah.
You know, it's like one of thosethings it become, it will soon
become a thing that they take athome.
And they're like, first of all, this is great for reaction
training. You know, dementia is because
you don't use your brain machine.
And this is also good for the arm movement.

(28:03):
It's good for your shoulder toning and stuff like that.
And make it into a whole thing where the.
Yeah, What are you doing? I'm I'm getting fit.
I'm getting fit. I can pay.
For this, out with your arms. Exactly.
Yeah, exactly. I'm going to loosen up the
shoulder muscles and stuff. Like you see these people
outside? They're.
Going to let this bitch breathe,I mean.
Exactly. You have people outside
restaurants doing Thai chi. They're like, what are you
doing? I'm like getting ready.
Yeah, I got to pay tonight. This bitch ain't going to.

(28:25):
Pay getting ready for Yum cha. Exactly.
Yeah, it's so good. They bring the whole thing.
Yeah, they just bring the whole device like pushing it like it's
it's, you know, like one of these holders that they have at
the, you know, the trolleys thatthey have at the hotels.
Yeah, yeah, the bellboy uses yes, they push that out.
That's the reaction thing. And then, like, and then because
the whole thing where you can maybe have a button to pay the

(28:47):
bill. Yeah.
And there's a tip button. Oh, yeah, there's two lights.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's the bill?
Who's the tip? Yeah.
I mean, and so the person payingthe tip, it pays.
Yeah, but less face. Oh no, yeah, you get it.
You walk out with less face. So you didn't.
You only pay the tip. Yeah, you know, so do you use
your hand to try to hit the button when the lights?
Are gonna get bored. Or do you use your hand to block

(29:08):
the other person? Yeah, you get my point.
So. Strategy game.
Strategy, you know, they're looking at you like I'm gonna
block you I'm gonna hit the button which one is it?
You know, yeah. So that becomes the whole thing
and you and eventually it'll stop being in schools.
Yeah. Like, you know.
Yeah, it becomes a subject. Yeah, yeah.
It's kids like, first of all, like, let's say when they're in
primary school, yeah, they'll learn how to, let's say, wash
their hands. Then the next one is how to pay
the bill. I mean the young kids.

(29:30):
Have. To pay the bill.
And then like, it comes to a point that the grandparents,
yeah, bring their grandchildren and they're like, dude, you
better not fucking let me down. I mean, there's no Lysias this
year for Chinese you if you fuckthis up, Yeah.
Exactly not a. Can you disappoint?
Right. And then you're like, have you
seen those memes? And there's pictures where you
have all those kids that have been there legs stretched for
the Olympics. Yeah, you know that stuff where

(29:51):
they crying. You have all these pictures of
these kids go like, I didn't hitthe button in time.
Like grandma throws them out thehouse.
It's not that like in the on thelawn go like fuck, I'm
practicing all day long. Right.
Yeah, like plastic, like fake ones.
Yeah, like. Get back out here, get back in
here when you know how to pay the bill like a ban.
Exactly. And the best thing is they all
these kids grow up and then theyend up going to less of the

(30:12):
states for studying. Yeah.
And they go to like one of thesewhack A mole game stations.
Yeah, I just mocking. Telling it yeah, the fucking
moles haven't even they had the even the systems like we haven't
even generated. You're like Pam, I know it's
going to be there. They have the 6th sense to know
where it's going to light up I. I want to see them also go to
Germany where the the cold culture of paying like paying

(30:33):
the total bill yeah is non existent.
Yeah, I'm shocking. It will be like all these years
of torture. Yeah, does not mean shit.
They like. They like try to pay and the
German person is like, no, I payyou back.
Yeah. Why no?
I know. I suffered all my life for this.
Yeah exactly. And the best thing is like the
German guy tried to pay the backto like why would you hurt your
family this way? The fuck is wrong?

(30:54):
Why? Would you bring shame to Yeah,
you know. Giving like suicide counseling
to them. Like why would you what?
There is this. They are actually like, I saw
some videos of people, like the culture shock of people telling
stories because it's obviously on the surface looks like just
Germans are so cheap and it's just a culture.
Yeah, like there is one that I made me laugh so much.
But like 2, like a girl who wentwith her out with her friend and

(31:17):
then they went to an ice cream place and the foreign person
literally was down like $0.10 orsomething to get an ice cream.
And the German person just kept scolding her why?
She doesn't have the chain. But she don't understand that
she's just asking her to give her like, she's like, oh, so
you're missing $0.10. She goes, she goes, well, too
bad. Yeah, but she goes like, too bad

(31:39):
you don't have the $0.10. But she was like, OK, and then
she goes, so you're not going tohave ice cream.
Yeah, she goes like whoa. Everything is passive
aggressive. And then the German girl goes
and gets ice cream just for herself.
Yeah, it. Comes back.
Oh. This ice cream is really nice.
Too bad you can't. Have it.
Yeah. Yeah.
You can't afford it. There's literally Eddie Murphy.
You can't afford it, you get. Oh my God.

(32:02):
She doesn't see how bad it is. Yeah, Yeah.
It's like, I'm just letting you what it is.
The facts are the facts. Exactly.
Yeah, too bad you don't have $0.10, otherwise you would have
enjoyed this. Yeah, I'd say, whoa, that hurts,
dude. You're like, no, but that's
actually what's happening. You didn't have $0.10.
I'm pointing it out that you didn't have cents.
Exactly. It is in fact very bad that you
don't have 10. Cents and it's also in fact the

(32:23):
fact that this ice cream is very.
Difficult. So what is the problem?
Here what's the problem? Yeah.
And they're like, yeah, but why did you rub your face?
Like because you need to know this information.
Exactly you need to know. Don't you want to know that you
couldn't enjoy the good ice cream because you didn't have
$0.10? Wait, I'm so confused.
Like everywhere else in the world.
Like this guy's a bitch. Yeah, exactly.
They're like, no, I am just telling you what actually is
happening. I'm a commentator of life.
I know those are called comedians.

(32:44):
Like wait, what? Yeah, exactly.
Those are, yeah, more funny thanlike some comedians.
Yeah, Oh my God, dude. Yeah, that was, it was brutal.
Yeah, yeah, dude, that's terrible, dude.
Actually, but I when I just cameback from Vietnam and I didn't
know how cheap it is, like not like Southeast Asia is generally
pretty cheap, but it was my first time in Vietnam.

(33:06):
Next I actually spoke to Garen about it because he goes a lot.
And now I know why, because Garen actually had the best
comment on like, what Vietnam prices are like.
He's like, nothing in Vietnam isexpensive.
It's just different kinds of cheap.
Like. Literally there is nothing that
is like we would consider. Expensive.
I can afford anything. I can afford anything.

(33:26):
Do I want to this? Yeah, yeah.
But it's like some things are like more cheap than others.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So some things are on the
expensive side of cheap that which is like it's like like a
super nice meal. Like I went like for the one.
Usually I go on a trip, I have like 1 nice meal and the one
nice meal I would pick like basically literally the best
restaurant in Hoi An yeah and itwas I had like everything I

(33:48):
wanted or whatever and ended up paying 200 Hong Kong dollar.
God, Dandy. And that was like the like, you
know, the restaurant, the crazy,whatever, 200 Hong Kong dollars.
Like what the fuck man? Yeah, dude, like really here,
200 bucks, you get an appetizer and be like, OK, So what do you
like for the main course? You're like, I'm done, dude.
Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, get out, yeah.
Exactly. Yeah.
Oh man, I can imagine. Yeah, but beautiful country you

(34:11):
haven't been. Vietnam, I passed by.
I haven't been there. No, no, no.
I passed by the cruise thing. You landed a couple of times in
Vietnam over there. It doesn't count.
Yeah, it doesn't count. So I've been there.
I passed by. I've had maybe one meal, but
it's one of those like quick meals wherever random places.
Yeah. I haven't really enjoyed it now.
Yeah, I mean it. You know, one of the things I'd
really like Vietnamese food in general, and there is one place

(34:31):
I like in Shanghuang is Anchoi. It's close to the MTR station.
OK, It's like a little. Anchoi, Ann.
ANCHOI okay, yeah it's very niceyeah it's like a little corner
shops and stuff yeah by me it's is it.
By me and noodles or just by me?Both.
Okay, yeah, yeah, it makes both Ban me and and far noodles and

(34:52):
stuff really nice, like a littlecorner shop.
Like very colorful and cute and I go there sometimes.
But then like everything is likebasically like 100 to 150, just
Hong Kong price. Yeah, yeah.
And then I went around the corner from my hotel in, in, in
Danang and there is a place called Banmi and coffee, just
like basically it's like, whatever, I'm just going for

(35:12):
breakfast. And it's like the best mommy
I've ever had in my life. And it was basically three Hong
Kong dollar fuck. And I was just wanted to cry.
Like how is your labor this cheap?
Exactly. Ingredients No.
They actually even started like obsessed over how wide the bum
is. So much better than a regular
baguette. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And turns out, you know why? Why?

(35:33):
Because they add rice flour to when they're making the bread.
Oh, yeah. So they basically took because
obviously the French were there.Yeah.
And they brought their baguette.Baguette.
Yeah. And then the the Vietnamese,
like, why don't we add rice flour to this mix?
And. It made it so much fluffier.
Yeah. And, like, lighter as bread.
And it was, like, so good. Yeah.

(35:53):
Like that's the real. I must say you're right, because
like I the one of my favorite ban me is the whole ban me.
Yeah, I love that stuff. Yeah, yeah, it's really good.
And yeah, I really like the. Bread.
The bread is amazing. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, try it.
Honestly, you might. Yeah, if I go and I had by me
other places in Vietnam and it'slike they all know how to make
it. It's so fresh.
Yeah, they also it's street foodas well.

(36:15):
Is it like the which? Which?
Which one do you have? Do you have it with the the Pate
and everything as well? Well, I can't eat the Pate
because it's pork, so I no. No, the goose Pate or they use
pork Pate. They.
Use pork. That's traditional.
One is usually OK This one is kind of fancy.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
But they actually, I think they know now from tourists that,
like, some tourists just say no Patty and they get it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I even had it without that,
Like I just have chicken. Chicken stuff.

(36:36):
Yeah, yeah. And it's just like, it's crazy
good. And it's like, yeah.
And Vietnam as a country, it seemed like I also brushed up on
like the history. I used to be obsessed with the
Vietnam War when I was like teenager.
Like, I would read and stuff andI kind of forgot most of it.
Luckily, like I think that the Netflix algorithm is now like

(36:58):
almost kind of scary. Yeah.
Yeah. When it comes to like what they
push to you. Because somehow the new I'm
going to Vietnam and they pusheda new documentary that was like
literally a week before I went. Yeah.
And there is a whole like 5-6 series like episode documentary
on Netflix about the Vietnam. War.
Oh shit, Oh damn. Yeah, but it was actually they

(37:18):
did it in a, in a very kind of like a matter of fact why?
It wasn't like sensationalized at all.
Yeah, it was basically the wholedocument is like how the
Americans fucked up. OK, Yeah, it's it's made by
mostly Americans, but there's always all like, yeah, this was
bad. This was Oh yeah, yeah, a lot of
the subjects were also beat the least people.
And I haven't studied enough or learned about it enough, but I

(37:39):
do know that it's like one of the things like, let's just not,
let's just. Know yeah, yeah.
So let's just not took about maybe 15 years to actually
execute. And after all these people died
and whatever, every time they pulled Cambodia into the war and
they just like the cause in accidentally caused the Camille
roots to happen. And then a bunch of people died

(37:59):
in Cambodia and all of that. And then at the end, Vietnam was
communist. So the whole point was to not
make Vietnam communist. And then and then Vietnam became
communist anyway and almost became communist to like spy the
American at some point because even the regular Vietnamese in
the South. So they made it like a civil
war, kind of. And the Saigon side, like the

(38:19):
South, the southern side, at some point, I mean, Americans
fucked it up so bad, they're like, no, no, we're going to
become communist. Fuck off.
Yeah, you go away now. We don't need this shit.
Anymore. But like, you go there and it's
like, OK, it's a communist country, but like, we're
tourists and it doesn't matter. Yeah.
And also if communism is going to keep everything that cheap,

(38:39):
I'm all pro community. Exactly.
Yeah, that's true. That's true.
Yeah. Like it was just like, I mean,
and also you see some things that look like almost like North
Korea in a way, but it's kind offunny.
Like, like for example, a lot ofpeople are dancing in the
squares like they're just like do not like a periodic periodic

(39:00):
dance. It's just like older people just
doing like little activities. Oh yeah, like, like the like the
the aunties in Hong Kong at someof the park.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK.
Yeah. So yeah.
So they actually, are they all doing that same kind of dance?
Yeah, the aunties dance with thescarf.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah, exactly.Yeah.
And you're like, OK, this, I don't see this on a lot of yeah,
but it's like it's fine. Yeah.
I mean, I guess like that, that became the traditional thing.

(39:22):
That's what you do. You know that we're old.
Now, Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's. What we do now, exactly?
Kids are in school, so yeah. Also very clean as really, yeah,
country fair. Actually, I think in Southeast
Asia, I would say the cleanest one, yeah, in comparison to
Thailand, Indonesia, Cambodia for.
Sure, for Southeast Asia? Singapore doesn't count.

(39:42):
No, I mean that for the. For the touristy, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Yeah, for more like that, that
touristy resort. Yes, you're right, Singapore is
Southeast Asia. Yeah, yeah, true.
Anyway, yeah, I get what you mean.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Singapore is an exception.
Like I, you're, you're. It's a big.
Airport. Too well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the whole thing is
just like nice and shiny and yeah.
And whatever. I mean, more from like, yeah,
the the touristy places and stuff.

(40:03):
But then of course, it wouldn't be a story of mine without
something going horribly wrong. Exactly.
So I was originally in Danang, so.
So. Let's go back.
Let's go back. So you you decide I need a
vacation. Yes.
You know, Hey, you looked in themirror one day, like, hey, MO,
MO, MO. The man in the mirror.
Yeah. He deserves the vacation.
Yeah. The man in the mirror.

(40:24):
The man in the mirror also doesn't have a lot of money.
Yeah, so. The man in the mirror wants to
go to Vietnam. Yes, well, the man the.
Mirror is $3. Yes, exactly.
Yeah, it's like one of those with BAMI.
Oh shit, I forgot the gun. The Rose there.
You know the title of the last episode was.
Of what the documentation? No, our last episode of this
podcast, I don't know if you caught it, it was the the

(40:46):
comedians are dumb. The event is right.
Yeah. The man in the mirror.
Yeah, exactly. The Vietnam in the mirror.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can probably still hear the,
yeah, the coughing in my voice. So basically, yes, I went to
Danang first and I knew Danang is like quite big, but I have a
week. So let me add this.
You get on the plane, you're feeling all good, everything's

(41:07):
good. You're like, I'm rock'n'roll
man, dude, the. Hong Kong Express $3.00 an hour
and. Yeah, 20 minutes.
You're like $3 by me, baby. Yeah, I'm gonna eat that shit
up. Yep.
All right. OK, so you land.
You're all like, did you have those moments when you land?
Then you're like, you take it in, you're soaking, like, all
right. Yeah, especially for me, it's
new. Actually it's the first new

(41:27):
country I've been to. I looked at my my little
planner. It's the first new country I've
been to since 2019 when I went to Russia.
Russia was being the newer country. 2019 you What do you
mean new country? Like new country I haven't been
to before. Oh, I said OK, OK, Yeah, yeah.
During the 2019 today, you've been to countries, you've flown,

(41:47):
but you've gone to places that you've been before.
Vietnam is a place you've never been to.
Since 2019. OK, OK, so 2019 I went to Russia
and that was a newer country on my list.
So so basically you got BC and AC before COVID and yes,
exactly. All right, look at Jesus talking
here. All right, OK, go.
On and then after? Yeah.
And then after the COVID, like when I started travelling, it
was like similar countries or whatever.

(42:08):
And then, yeah, that was the newcountry was was Vietnam, all
right. And yeah, like first couple of
days of like $3 Bammy. Yeah, you walk around, you're
like hey, hey, hey, I want me some of that.
Yeah. Hey, here's some money.
Do I get changed? I'm.
Saying you know what I realized as well, I in on Danang, there
is like it's it's beach city, but there is like, you know,
every beach city has like an inside where like cheaper, like

(42:31):
whatever places and all of that stuff.
So I was staying on like a hotelon the on the beach side and
again the hotel was like 200 Hong Kong dollars face.
To face in the ocean. Like right on the ocean.
Your balcony. Yeah, but like it's like a big
window thing. So did you have one of those
Hollywood moments where like you, you, you, you got in there.
You, you put your suitcase down.Your right hand has the bond me.

(42:52):
You pull the the door to the balcony, you walk out and then
you soak it all in. And you the next shot is you
appealing off the bond me and then you you take the bite,
barmy, and you have that one more where you kind of do like
the sly smile, like yeah, you'relike, alright.
Yeah, pretty much. The other hand had had a coconut

(43:13):
coffee in my hand, which is likeliterally, I not exaggerating to
Hong Kong dollars. Yeah.
And it was like the best coffee you've ever.
Had because you have, like, fresh coffee, Yeah.
Fresh Vietnamese coffee iced with fresh coconuts flakes.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like, it's like, what the fuck, man?
Yeah, what are we doing? You're sitting over there,
you're looking out, going like all these motherfuckers out

(43:35):
there, man, and you have no idea, man, but I am happy right
now. I am happy, right?
Now oh shit, there's Mohammed standing over there going like
8. Not a good heartbeat.
Yep, the. Man in the Mirror is happy now.
Yeah, I don't know what did hurtme, but two days later, yeah, I
got very sick. Yeah, but it wasn't even food
poisoned like the food was. I can tell the food is clean,
had nothing to do. And it does not.

(43:57):
It was not a stomach problem. I actually, I do suspect it
might have been shisha because what?
It might have been the shisha because I was the.
Shisha bar. OK, OK.
And that was the one thing that was actually also objectively I
would say considered expensive. Yeah, 30 bucks.
No, it was like 100 bucks. Oh shit.
I know. It was like crazy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Because I wanted the shisha.

(44:17):
Whatever. So when you went to the shisha.
So that day was it planned Shisha bar you just walked by
Ah, you know why let me go therefor a.
Yeah, like there was a shisha bar.
I'm like, oh I will check it outin front.
Of the improv. It was like it was improvable at
the moment. Yes, yeah, yeah.
OK. That's what it was.
That's what it was. So that's the thing like your
your whole plan did not include shisha bar.
No, it did not. So then you decide, ah, you know
what, let's go with the flow. You know life throws lemons that

(44:38):
you make lemonade. You know when you see shisha.
Blueberry flavors. Yeah, You know, you walk like
shisha, more like Shura, you know, something like that.
You go in there, you're all sitting there like a boss.
You're sitting there, you know, maybe like your legs spread out.
Yeah. Over there.
You're, you're, you're, you're tapping your toes with your shoe
shorts on. Yeah.
And like, give me, give me one of those blueberry shisha.
Yeah, hookahs. Yeah.
You want to hookahs? Yeah.

(44:58):
I mean, it comes over there. You're sitting there just like.
Yeah, yeah. Loving my life again.
Shit, so good. I can imagine that man.
You're looking around the room going like.
Dude, it was on the beach too. I was just like blowing like
smoke, like the ocean, the blue sky.
It was at night. It was beautiful.
The sky, the stars, like shining.
You're like, yeah, every now andthen making the random hoops

(45:21):
with the smoke that didn't work out.
Here's we get like, yeah, that night, great time having shisha.
And actually I was planning the next day to go to Hoyan, which
is in a different city, but it'slike an hour away.
And one of my favorite things togo when, wherever I go,
especially in Southeast Asia, isto rent a motorbike.
Yeah. And I like to go on like a
little trip. So I'm like, Ho Yan is another

(45:42):
city that I can access by motorbike.
Yeah, easy to rent a motorbike. And I'm just going to take the
motorbike there. So the next day I take the
motorbike and I'm feeling 100%. Oh, yeah, You.
The winds in your face. Yes.
You're driving away. Did you?
No. No goggles.
Obviously the no helmet. You have a helmet?
Yeah. You know, every now and then,

(46:03):
like, no one's looking like this.
You do. That's it.
Yeah, I'm sure they have the long stretches.
So. You're just zooming through and
like the oceans to your left andjust like going away and like,
Oh yeah. And like a little, little music
in the back of your head. You're like.
I was actually because I need tohear the traffic around me.
I would just like sing to myselfbecause I.
No one knows anyway. No one knows and I can't put in

(46:26):
earphones because I can hear traffic so I'm just singing.
To myself, it was great. Yeah, doing things.
I was singing like Enter Sandman.
And stuff, yeah. Yeah.
And then, yeah, I was singing inArabic.
Whatever. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then Huyen is, is is

(46:46):
basically like an older town. Yeah.
Where it's like really like if you have seen photos from
Vietnam, a lot of it's from there because probably the most
picturesque, like city in Vietnam.
Yeah. It's like there's like a little
Riverside or just like all this like beautiful lights and stuff.
Yeah. All the houses are kind of like
low, like ceiling like one villas, like first or second

(47:06):
floor only. And at night it's just so much
like beautiful lights and stuff.Again, magnificent night.
Like I called my family, I showed them around.
Yeah, it was great. Did you have a moment like when
you were there so you got off the motorbike?
Yeah, you didn't get on the motorbike again.
No, I like checked into the hotel and then I walked to the
to the little little village thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I was like showing my

(47:28):
family around and stuff. OK, OK.
Yeah. So until then everything is
great. And I went to bed that night
like, oh great. Showed my family around.
They were like, oh so cool. Like I'm like, oh, look at all
this crazy stuff. Like there's like a lady dancing
with her freaking holding the stand.
The fruit basket thing was like cute and whatever.

(47:48):
I'm like, look at all these people and they're like quite a
great time. And I showed the fake lab Boo
boos. Someone was selling fake lab Boo
boos. All of that stuff that go to bed
feeling great, wake up feeling like shit.
You're waking like. Yeah, so like in the middle of
the night, you can tell already something's not going well.
I'm like, sometimes like if you had too much shisha, but she
shows from the night before. I'm like, it's not that.

(48:10):
But I also, I can tell it's not food at all.
It's not. Stomach's fine.
Yeah, but like, but like, yeah, it's like you still, like, start
feeling like dizzy. It's like, oh, I'm getting
fever. That's usually the worst sign.
Like fevers, your body's fighting something and then
that's when you realize, oh, that's the flip side of like,
oh, communist country and like, everything is accessible and
cheap. No good medicine.

(48:32):
Oh shit. And it's late at night, like you
don't know. Yeah, yeah, had a light of hell.
Basically a complete. Water, trying everything.
Drinking water, trying everything like can't sleep.
It's I'm in a five star hotel, but they can't help me either.
Just like nothing is working. Yeah, and and I'm like 5.
Star. It's not the number of stars for
communists. Yeah, it has one side I think.
Actually, the Vietnam has only one star.

(48:53):
Yeah, it's only one star. Yeah.
They work it. They work it backwards, yeah.
Yeah, so I actually found the pharmacy the next day on like
Google map and I literally, I saw their opening hours 7:30 and
they went there from 7 just likebecause I was dying.
Yeah, yeah. Just anything.
Yeah. Yeah.
So I actually saw the girl parking in front and like coming
in. I just attacked her like a

(49:13):
zombie. Just like I'm like help just the
fuck. I'm like, I have all these
things. And then she just gave me like
she looked at me just for a minute and she was yeah, you
have a chest infect. She heard me cough.
She was this is chest infection.That's not a cold you need.
You need like antibiotics. Like right now you need to start
because antibiotics take like 5.Days or whatever.
Yeah, because you need to. She's basically threw the

(49:35):
kitchen sink at me. She goes like, here's 7 things
you need to take. Yeah, yeah.
Here's a thermometer. Give me the thermometer. 39.5.
Wow, dude, I'm burning up. Yeah.
So that for the two days in Haiyan I had like one night,
it's night, the next two nights,dying in the hotel, like dealing
with that. I can imagine.
Yeah, she had to come one time because I'm like, I'm still

(49:58):
sick. And she's like, you need more
medicine. She actually came to the room
and like, give me more medicine.Bless her.
And then. And then by the third day, I'm
starting to feel better, but I have to check out.
I'm flying the next day. Yeah, not just that, I have to
take my beautiful motorbike backand on top of all of this.
So now it's it's this beautiful one way ride.

(50:20):
It's great where it's like the windows in your back.
Yeah, in your. Head going back, it's more like
not just that it's raining like crazy.
Oh shit. And I need to return the
motorbike. So usually I would be like it's
not I don't want to drive in therain like this, but I have no

(50:42):
choice. I need to return the motorbike
and have to fly the next day andI'm sick.
Yeah, yeah. So like taking that, that road
back was like one of the worst experiences of my life.
The same road and like 3 days before I'm like, this is great.
I made it. I did all this work in Hong
Kong. I deserve this holiday Now I'm
like, what am I doing here? Be home.

(51:04):
Not just that, like on places like this, they told me like you
have to be be really careful because the street floods like
they're, they're fine roads. Yeah, yeah.
But when the rain happens, it floods the the the sewage
doesn't work. Well, yeah.
It's just like they're like, oh,you see them on the news
sometimes. They're all just like little
ponds in the middle of a row andon a motorbike.
It's genuinely dangerous. Yeah, yeah, I can imagine.

(51:26):
Like a car can just kind of plowtoo.
On a motorbike, you just fuckingdisappear into it.
And so like, they're like, you have to be careful, like, you
have to go around it and stuff. And yeah, I'm driving back in
the under with the helmet on. I remember I had to stop to buy
a poncho because I'm also drenched now.
Yeah, on top of being sick. Well, the good thing is that,

(51:46):
you know, we can see your tears bothering you later.
They're like, wow, the rain's pretty strong.
I don't know why the rain's hitting his eyes more.
Yeah. Yeah.
So yeah, like the road. Did you have like a moment where
you're just like crying? Like just to go man.
No, I, I like, I know myself. If I get myself in that mode,
yeah, I will be very depressed. So I had to like just kind of

(52:08):
like power through, power through.
But I actually like almost took it as like a not a fun
challenge, but I took it as like, this is just going to be
an experience and a story like driving back and.
You know, I would tell the guys,man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would tell them how I was in
the rain. I was thinking about this like
I'm I'm going to tell this in the podcast.
Fuck you, David Goggin. Listen to this story.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen to this story by being

(52:28):
with the life, you know, military.
Shut up. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was like, oh, I'm like
not fighting for my life, but I'm like, I really need to focus
100% yeah to like not. Yeah, to get there.
To get there I need to return this bike on time.
I need to not slip. And also in a fucking foreign
country. Yeah.
And it's just like all these crazy thoughts, but it it like
gives like a decent challenge. Yeah.

(52:49):
All of a sudden you're like laser like focused.
You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we get this.
Happened. Yeah, exactly.
So it was more like I thought ofyou.
Also when yeah, sometimes I'm like fucking show them.
Fuck you man, I'm gonna get to that fucking play motherfucker
first to bored. Yeah, sit the fuck down.
Watch every. Fuck would be like you have no
idea who I am. Yeah, you don't have no idea,
you tell. Me.
You want chicken or fish and I say fish.

(53:09):
You say no more fish, motherfucker.
Better. Spit.
It's hilarious that you think that that would ever happen
because I was flying Hong Kong Express.
Yeah, literally does not give you water.
That's me you were sitting. I'm like, well, you got them.
Give me you. Better give me for me something
you. Know what?
Yeah, I will sit on this. Got down.
I'll see. I want to.
OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So yeah, no, just get back. And it's like by the luckily by

(53:33):
the last night I started feelingbetter again because all this
medicine, yeah, yeah, yeah, kicked in and yeah, just came
back the next day. But it did feel like, you know,
a very shortened holiday becauseit's like I had like 3 good days
and like 4 sick. Days, I mean, I'll put it this
way man, like luckily it wasn't like on your last day that you
started having like, oh shit, I can't even fly now.
Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And here also like I think after

(53:54):
COVID started doing this like a health like the.
Temperature. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're like God damn dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't even know. Does anyone have experience what
happens if you come in with a fever?
Do they like shoot you or something?
I don't think they'll be able totell us and no longer there.
No one. No one survived that.
Exactly. Yeah.
I really wanted what happens if you go down.

(54:16):
I don't. I don't think anyone will know.
If you do know, you won't. Just get caught with like, yeah,
exactly like a yeah. That's it.
Well, I mean, the good thing is that you made it.
You made it back in one in one piece, still coughing a lot.
Yeah. However, like are you done with
the antibiotics? I have like until tomorrow I.
Think yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

(54:36):
Okay, so so if you had to like conclude like one lesson learned
from this trip. One lesson learned from this
trip is we shouldn't be paying this much money for Ban Me.
Yeah, exactly. So everyone is doing bomb me now
you fucking robbers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is, I mean, yeah, this is, it's, yeah.
It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous.
You know, you're robbing good people blind.

(54:57):
Yes. Yeah.
You know, you should get. You should.
This can. Be good for the same price I pay
for one year I can get about 33.Yeah, much better.
I mean, what you're doing right now, you deserve to for us to
ban you. Yeah, that exactly.
Let's all now come together. And just ban me from eating.

(55:18):
Ban me. And you from charging these
prices? Yeah, right. close that.
Yeah. All right.
Well in that case everyone has before Mohammed dies and I have
no insurance to cover him up. Everyone remember, next time you
eat bond meat, just do know thatyou are actually contributing.
You're enabling someone's greed.And hey, nothing is a bad thing
man. This is a capitalist city over

(55:39):
here, so by all means. People have a sour defect.
Yeah, this is. The real deal.
But yeah, so next time you have a bond meat, just know that.
Ask them, is this money actuallygoing to a Vietnamese family or
not? Yeah, ask them.
Is this really necessary? And most importantly, ask them,
do you have coconut in your coffee?
If you do, don't drink that shit.
Don't drink that shit. Yeah.
Thanks everyone for tuning in. Thanks for listening all the

(56:01):
stories. We're about to do the
patreon.com/our part. So next time when I go
travelling, I can afford medicine.
You can join us on there at $5 amonth and you get the bonus
episode and all of that. Come see us, see us live.
You're going to Canada? Yeah, I'll be in the UK.
To Vancouver and then London formy Cantonese comedy tours.
I'll be back at the end of October.
Hell yeah, yeah, I'm looking forward to that.

(56:23):
It'll be quite a fun trip. I've got my Schedule I.
Mean Oh, by the way, I'm signingup for the comedy.
The Melbourne Comedy Festival Are you?
Doing next year, Yeah, I'm not going.
You're not going. I don't know, I decided.
Well, this is, yeah, this is forour Melbourne friends.
I'll be back next year. Actually, the FMV is closing.
Like I'm just signing up today. They're closing tomorrow, Yeah.
So we'll talk about this anothertime.

(56:43):
But yeah, I'll see you guys in Melbourne.
I'll go on tour early next year to work on the show.
And then yeah, Melbourne obviously like second-half of
April. I'm aiming for the second,
second-half, so I'll see you guys there.
Hopefully second-half of April, but yeah, we'll do it another
time. Thanks everyone, and see you on
the road. See you at the shows, See you on
the Patreon. Bye bye.