#240 - Hong Kong Love, Cairo Wedding, Russian Twist

Host Mohammed Magdi flies to Egypt to emcee his friends' wedding; before he flew, he had another emceeing gig at the new Shangri-La hotel in Shenzhen, ending less than 2 hours before his flight to Cairo via Dubai. He's set to land in Cairo about 3 hours before the wedding starts. Sounds like a lot? These are just the highlights.

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
So I reiterate here, the bill isdead.
The story of this great city is about the years before this
night. Hey everybody, it's a new

(00:23):
episode of Hong Kong. I'm sitting here with my body.
Hey everybody, it's me. You did not.
Go to Italy. What?
What is going on? Not Italy, man.
This is actually little Bangladeshi that went to Italy
for one summer. Yeah.
You sound like a Simpsons character.

(00:44):
Which? One.
Yeah, Abubario. I was like, what's an Italian
name? I'm like, yeah, Abuliani.
I don't know, Abuliani. Yeah, he opens.
What do they call it? A bodega.
Oh yeah, yeah, that like quickiepasta.
Quickie pasta, Yeah. Yeah, man, I'm so excited.

(01:05):
Like just for regular shows, thelike the, the, the podcast shows
that is to be back. Yeah, yeah.
Just like it's such a cool part of of my week, like my routine
to just come in and like shoot the shit with you.
Yeah. And yeah, we've had many
positive messages. Once we put the rephrase that
sentence, we are simply just very light heartedly letting

(01:27):
stuff go into the air, not shooting the shit should anyone
take it out of context. Yes, Yeah.
OK. Yeah, we've got to be careful.
With AI nowadays, they might be able to, like, replicate us
saying the word shoot, Yeah. And then, like, shit, yeah,
yeah, yeah. And like, they'll say somehow,
like, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot.
That's so many versions of it. Yeah, I'll be trouble.
Man, now we're just flicking thepoop.

(01:47):
Yes, we're. Flicking the hell where we're
we're letting. We're releasing the feces, Yeah.
Yeah, now it sounds like we're recording on the toilet.
Yeah, yeah, we're physically, we're physically moving the
stool you're. Moving the stool.
Stool particles. Yeah, exactly.
We're here to move the stool, but everybody is stool.
That's yeah, that's the name of the other show.

(02:08):
Move the stool, cut the cheese and just and just talk the
stuff. I yeah, we, we have, we've had a
lot of positive messages after like people were genuinely like.
You're happy that we're back? You're happy that we're back?
I got a couple of people going like I thought you guys went
offline. I'm like, we're here.
Yeah, exactly. We're here now.
Yeah, Blame your headphones, man.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

(02:28):
Just gaslight people. Like no, there are episodes.
Yeah. Why are you a navigator?
Yeah, Oh, that's why, man. Yeah, Navigator block to the
last two episodes, man. Yeah.
We moved to Apple Plus. Yeah, I did not.
Know that, you know, so that's why hey, with if you, if you use
the code Ho Ho Hong Kong, you can go to Hong Kong broadband
for the yeah, cheaper discount, you know, some stupid shit like

(02:49):
that. Yeah, just yeah.
Make sure. Yeah.
Make them think that we are. Yeah, We're we never stopped.
Yeah, yeah. But no, we, we did stop.
And now we're back and the reason we stopped, like you
mentioned, we we talked about last week, you had a crazy trip
and I also had a crazy trip and mine started like I think we
were away around similar time. That's why we're not here.
But we went to different routes.You went to Canada and the Uki

(03:12):
went to Shenzhen and Egypt. Yeah, exactly.
Now who? Who did it better?
Who travelled best? Well, yeah, actually after this
one, you guys can judge and let us know who had more adventures.
You had quite a bit of an adventure, especially with the
visa thing that was. Called the ETA if you didn't
check it out, check out the lastepisode.
Tell my homie I almost got a heart attack now again.
So there you go. That's a good comparison.
Like which trip would you like to experience?

(03:34):
Have you had to choose one? I mean, I'm going to be, I'm
going to tell you by the end of this, people are definitely what
Will wanted to experience mine because I've actually done like
really fun stuff. You were basically working.
I was on holiday. I pretty much whenever I
travelled it's pretty much 99% of the time like it's for work.
No, same. But this time I was like, you
know, like I actually took took some time off and did some a

(03:56):
couple of cool things. But before I did the cool
things, I had a gig also in Shenzhen.
And that gig was quite interesting because So the back
story to this whole trip is 2 folds 1 is my friend is getting
married in Egypt and he wanted me to be the MC of his wedding.
Alright, what's what's your name?
What's your friends name? Samer.
Samer. Yeah.
OK, I love it. I was like Sam.

(04:17):
No, it's not good enough. Samer.
Samer. He's more Sam than you.
Are the back story to Samer and his wedding is also really
interesting because Samer is Egyptian but I met him here.
So he met Samer the Egyptian in Hong Kong.
I've actually we realized when we were at the wedding that was
the first time both of us meet each other outside of Hong Kong,
even though he's Egyptian. Where did 2 Egyptians meet in
Hong Kong? Right.

(04:38):
That's, that's a great question.We met at the open mic at the
aftermath. Oh, man, I was hoping that was
actually tip top point of the peak where it's like the top
portion of the pyramid of the peak.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, Mojan.
Our yeah, yeah, our, our little yeah, pyramid replica.
We're just doing pilgrimage. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So even though different religions, he's Christian.
It doesn't matter, man. God is God, everybody.

(04:58):
Yeah, well, theirs is not real. Anyway.
Well anyway, so. So you're an open mic?
Yeah, I'm an open mic. I had just moved to Hong Kong.
This is 2019. I had just moved to Hong Kong
summer 2019, and I'm doing the open mic.
And at the time I had a Russian girlfriend and I had a joke
about how I had dated her hopingto upgrade my passport.

(05:20):
So you were dating a Russian doing basically Russian roulette
passport. Correct.
I was doing a Russian with my password upgrade.
Turns out we're both looking foran upgrade.
Basically right? See 22.
Two wrongs don't make a right inthis situation.
Yes, yeah, Two wrongs make a terrible relationship.
Yeah. So I had, I was making that joke
on stage and I look in the audience and this guy looks, he

(05:44):
looks like the Pharaohs, like people think, like I don't look
Egyptian. You know, like when you watch
movies and you know, they have those scenes when they see that
the pretty girl comes in, there's music in the background.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you saw this guy, did he
go? Yeah, I thought of more like the
the what's the Michael Jackson thriller?

(06:05):
No, it's smooth criminal. No, it's not.
I think which one had the whole the whole video clip is actually
ancient Egypt and it's Eddie Murphy and.
Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So there is a whole yeah, he basically looks like one of the
extras. Not Eddie Murphy is not that
dark. Was the wind blowing his hair?

(06:27):
You know, he has almost no hair,but he just, he just looked like
I didn't know the guy, but for some reason it just, it was just
a lock. I'm like, you're Egyptian.
And I said I looked next to him.I'm like, is this your Russian
upgrade? Yeah, didn't, didn't know either
of them. And he said yes.
Oh, he's doing the same thing asyou.
Yeah, exactly. It was just like it was just a
perfect. You guys went to the same

(06:48):
agency, the same like you want to get out of Egypt.
Here's the plan. No.
We both basically ordered from the same website.
Russian mail, Russian mail orderbride.
Russianbride.com something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, except.
That his one wasn't expired, he continued and married her.
Oh. Yeah, that's that's the same.
That's a bride from the wedding.You got to ask him, what did he

(07:09):
do right? Which box did you take?
Yeah, exactly. Man, I mean expired the
stronger. I don't want to.
I don't mean that offensively. I mean expired doesn't like.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So he got his order. Yeah, yeah, right.
It was fulfilled exactly it was.Fulfilled.
I don't want to be offensive to the other woman.
Yeah, yeah. And the other woman?
Who that one? Who did not?

(07:29):
Married. So yeah.
Yeah, fair enough. Yeah.
Anyway, so, but based on that, I'm like, is this your upgrade?
Got a huge laugh in the room blah blah blah and then we met
outside after the gig and we just like, I'm like Oh my God, I
can't believe Egyptian Russian. This is basically us, me and the
girlfriend. We're joking blah blah blah.
So that was 2019 and then Fast forward to last month when they

(07:52):
got married in Egypt. But between that time.
Oh, so this summer guy married the Russian lady and you went to
Egypt? Yes, for the wedding.
Turns out actually later after we made all made friends, they
continue dating but turns out that was their second date.
The night for. The aftermath was their second
date. So I actually take credit for,

(08:12):
like, making this. And I said that when I was at
the wedding. I'm seeing the wedding.
Got a huge applause. I'm like, you're all here
because of me. Yeah.
I told that story. Yeah.
Yeah. You go on stage.
Little did you know that I am Cupid.
Everyone exactly I am Cupid yeahyeah, so that but their
relationship they both listen tothis so hopefully they don't get

(08:33):
too mad Their relationship also went through like a lot of.
Yeah, yeah, that's with anything, man.
You know, like. No, but not that like, so he's
also an artist. He he does, he does a data
analyst or whatever for some bank, but he's also an artist, a
really good musician. He's a pianist and he's a jazz
player. And during COVID, he's one of
these people who was like reallyannoyed about how Hong Kong is

(08:54):
handling it to the point that hewanted to leave.
So they're together at that point for like 3 years or
whatever. She's Russian, she wants to stay
here. She also has a boring job and
she wants to get PR. So she's like, I'm not, I'm not
leaving. I'm staying until PR And PR for
her was like 2 more years and hewas like I'm not, I'm not going
to. Stay so this is COVID time he's
getting fed. Up COVID time, I'm staying for

(09:14):
the year I'm staying, yes. And he was like well I'm leaving
I'm just going to look for jobs elsewhere.
So about 3 years ago now, like two or three years into COVID
thing, he actually finds a job in Paris and just moves to
Paris. OK, so now he's gonna go to
Paris. OK, Got it.
Yeah, he left and moved to Parisand they are still together.
Yeah. So we as their friends were

(09:35):
like, yeah, that relationship isover.
There's no way. So.
So Miss Borsch is still in Hong Kong?
Yes. Miss Borsch is.
Still in Oh my God. Yeah, OK, yeah.
What was and Mr. Date? Isn't dates like Egyptian like?
Yes, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mr. Date, Mr. Date is over
there. OK, got it.
OK. Is it Mr. Falafel?
Yeah. Oh yeah, Falafel, I think you
get that. So he moves to Paris and just

(09:56):
continue like just they do long distance and as long distance
people, cynical people were like, yeah, that's eventually
going they're going to get bored, whatever.
But like to their credit, it waslike the strongest relationship
I. Know, I think it's probably
because, like they probably had really bad Wi-Fi and every time
they were trying to break up, wewere just cutting.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, what do you?
Think they will? Absolutely.
I hate you. Like you said.

(10:17):
What You. You want me.
You. What?
What? What?
Is that I love you in French. Yeah, yeah.
That you have me. Yeah, sure.
OK. And it's like next time I guess.
Whatever you know, and you come by the next time the Yeah.
Yeah, So, yeah, they continue the relationship.
Like they meet, like he comes here sometimes.
Also one of the running jokes with him is that he has French
holidays. He basically never works.

(10:38):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, these people, like he's always
travelling either within Europe or he just keeps going back to
Egypt because Egypt from Paris, carried from Paris is 4 hours.
It's quite a short flight. Yeah.
So he just keeps going to Egypt.He comes here like 3 * a year
and just hangs out. Yeah.
And we're like, dude, you have no job.
Yeah. So whatever.
So they continue the relationship, which is amazing,

(10:58):
until the point that they're getting married.
OK, so he's doing the longest relationship going to Egypt all
the time yeah comes to Hong Konglike 3 * a your age yes, but he
does visit Miss Miss was a. Yeah, she lives here.
So she lives just. She still lives.
Here. So my point is that the
relationship. So whenever he comes to Hong
Kong, he stays with her then yeah, it's pretty smart.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK so they got their space and
stuff. Yeah, yeah.

(11:19):
OK. Yeah, of course.
But wait a second. So now they get married.
They no longer live distance. Well, this is actually one of
the funniest things about it. They got married in Egypt
because it's kind of like, I suppose the middle ground, like
the, you know, they want people like from everywhere to go.
Egypt is obviously like a beautiful destination, people,
it's fun to visit, whatever. So the wedding had like 150

(11:42):
people. I would say I wrote 50 from Hong
Kong different like like Hong Kong local, like older friends,
super cool, which is also amazing to me, like being in
like a nice venue in Egypt surrounded by old, like a lot of
my Hong Kong friends are there. It's very surreal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But to answer your question
about their long distance thing after.
So they got married, had the wedding in Egypt when they went

(12:02):
to Africa for a honeymoon. Were they already in Africa?
He went to a real Africa. He would like the animals and
shit. Oh shit.
Yeah. And actually this is a tangent,
but while they were in Africa, they were going to Zanzibar and
Tanzania. OK.
And as soon as he landed in Tanzania, the whole country went
up in flames. Like actually they had like
crazy riots, Internet down and they had to like escape.

(12:25):
All Egyptians do that. You arrive in Hong Kong, shit
going down the flames. Another fucking one of those God
damn dude and they literally like disappeared like offline
for a couple of days and we're all freaking out messaging them
and then they like escaped to Zanzibar.
Imagine escaping to Zanzibar. That's the safe haven.
Oh God. But anyway, after this whole

(12:48):
thing, he she is back now here in Hong Kong and he's back to
Paris. The only difference is that
they're now married, but they have no real long term plan.
Yeah, we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out.
That's like, why did you get married?
Yeah, what's the point? Then what's the point?
So that was. That's the couple.
This is the back story for the. Couple hold on.
By now she should have gotten her PR.
She has her PR. Now.

(13:08):
So why she's still here then? I don't think she likes him very
much. Yeah, I think she's like.
OK, it's quite late, so the other option is Paris.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. No, the other option is living
with him full time, which I don't think she's on board with.
No, no, no. We get married, sure, but like
we keep our distance. I guess I saw what?
Wait does she live in Sainpu andshe's like I'm already?

(13:29):
No, she lives in one try. Yeah, I tell you, the Paris is
like the the, the the stripper called Paris.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that that's the couple and
they have decided to get married.
Like obviously a few months ago they gave me the date and I'm
like, OK, fine. Like, I'll come, it's in Egypt,
I'll visit my family. Did you get an actual invitation
the card? No, they're too cheap to do.
That like they have an. Ecos or what's?

(13:50):
No, it was only WhatsApp. WhatsApp.
There was an image at least. Nope, not even they say hey.
PS Hey, hey, hey, Bo. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yo, what's up? Yo, what's up?
Yeah. It was like.
You know, if you're free on this.
What's up announcement? And not even to you, it's just a
copy paste. There's a copy.
So there's a double afford Ford?Yeah, forwarded.
Forward. Forwarded forward.
Yeah, of course you have it. It's.
Like all these like arrows. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(14:12):
It's like when you like spam your family group chat so that I
don't know when they decided thedate.
I think it was like sometime in summer.
So I'm like, OK, I'll come. Like that's fine.
I come back home to Egypt, visitmy family, whatever.
And then like about a month later, I get an inquiry for a
gig for a hedge fund that is in around the same weekend.

(14:35):
And I'm like, check the date quickly.
Their date is on. Their wedding is on October
25th. And then the hedge fund thing is
on October 24th. Yeah.
And I'm like, sweet, that's the day before.
It's in Hong Kong. Happy days.
Like nothing will happen. Fine, whatever.
And I hadn't booked my Egypt flight at that time, which is
lucky because I just was, I think I got distracted,

(14:55):
whatever. And then, but the hedge fund
thing is actually in Shenzhen. When do you know Shenzhen?
They told me like a week after. No, I didn't know.
The inquiry came, We talked about the details.
They actually didn't tell me it was in Shenzhen.
Yeah, they figured it's the samething.
It's the same thing. Exactly.
And turns out there's in Shenzhen, like that's a big
difference flight wise. So I'm like, OK, that's the

(15:17):
night before. Obviously it's like a private
gig for a hedge fund. It's it's very decent pay.
So I'm like, I'm not like I haveto do this.
But at the same time, these people are also counting me.
No, if I'm just a guest, I stillwant to really want to go
because I like these guys. But they're also at that point I
had committed to the MC role. Of course I can cancel and be
like, hey, I can come later, whatever.

(15:37):
But I actually wanted to do a Cape.
Married an hour later, people. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, like, what's the difference?
You would have been passed, dude.
Like what's the brush? Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, you can wait. I was really hoping.
I'm like, oh, can you guys do itlike the next week?
Yeah. It was literally the same sort
of Shenzhen gig Friday, but it gets much crazier from there.
The wedding in Egypt on Saturday.
And because it's a Christian wedding, they're both Christian,

(15:58):
it actually starts Egypt. Weddings in general start quite
late. Yeah.
Like literally 9:00 PM onwards. This fucking wedding starts at,
like, 3:00 PM Oh, Lord. So I'm looking at flights.
I'm trying to do the math on theflights and I I find an Emirates
flight that is so my gig in Shenzhen, suppose it start at
8:00 PM to 10:00. That's like my engagements 8 to
10 at the Shangri-La Shenzhen Nanshan which is a new

(16:21):
Shangri-La. So they have an old one in Fu
Tien that is not good and that that the new one in Nan China is
amazing. Is is, Oh yeah, the Shengwen
near the train station, right the the low Woo when you get
out, No. No, no, no, Nan, China is like.
No, but the other one, the old. One, that's the old one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not that great.
I've been there once. It's like whatever that one is
like I think it's a year old because I asked the staff.

(16:42):
I'm like, this is this looks shiny.
They're like, yeah, we just opened last year so the gig is
there and my engagements like 8 to 10.
The flight that I have 1155. Wow, Yeah, that's.
It man, So what? What's What's the travel
distance from the hotel to the airport?
Yeah. So without traffic, it's about
25 minutes. Oh, OK, OK, OK.
Yeah, at night, Friday night, I mean, still tricky with Friday

(17:05):
night, but I'm like, yeah, like if you check in and stuff, I
mean, we'll get to all of this. Yeah, you get one hour before.
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
OK. So the gig in Shenzhen is very
involved because I'm the MC, butas you, you have done these
things a million times, like yougot to like be across all the
program and also like have opinions about like, you know.
This way instead. Do this way and the client had a

(17:25):
really big budget. They had like, you know, a crazy
laser show. So the whole thing is like very
Shenzhen tech themed. So they want it to be very high
level technologically. So one of the elements which was
actually like a lot of back and forth is I might I have a Co
host who's AAI. So he's on the screen and he's
actually programmed in the voiceof the boss, right?

(17:48):
But I am basically feeding him the script.
So that was like, to be honest, I told him as well, like a lot
of the, you know, the the hours going into working with this is
that particular part because it's just a lot of like, you
know, figuring out his timing and him on the screen and like
also making sure I'm not programming him.
But like, we need to make sure that people understand that some

(18:08):
jokes are just because he's the boss, not just like a random
Chinese looking robot who's an AI.
So that was like taking months of preparation, like a lot of
back and forth. There's a production company in
the middle. So I'm dealing with them, but I
also have to go meet the client,blah, blah, blah.
The client have a has an office here and it's basically they're
like they're yeah, annual party for the employees coming in from

(18:30):
mostly like Singapore, Philippines, Middle East.
They flew all of them in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They also took over like half the hotel.
It was crazy. So there's like a lot of rooms
are just for this client and then the production people.
So I had asked closer to the date I had asked the the
production to book me a room at and lunch and hotel from the
night before because of the whole travel craziness.

(18:51):
Yeah. Yeah, I get my stuff there.
Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I'm going to get there
from Thursday. They're like, no problem.
Yeah, So get to closer to the date.
The gig is on Friday, you get Thursday, wedding's on Saturday.
Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So now I have the ticket that I mentioned, which is it's also
going through Dubai. It's not a direct flight.
Yeah. So I have now the gig from 8:00
to 10:00. I'm going to Shenzhen on

(19:12):
Thursday, finish the gig. I somehow have to make it before
11:55 to to Shenzhen airport andthen make it and then not have
another delay in Dubai and land.And the plan was this is on
paper is to land in Egypt. My family picks me up.
They live in a place called New Cairo.
It's close to the airport. It's quite far from actual

(19:32):
Cairo. And they pick me up, I go home,
literally shower and change, go back out right away because they
need me at the end of the churchservice to like get on the bus.
The wedding is at the venue at the pyramid side.
Only people are are familiar with the city would know from
that like new character pyramids.
It's you're talking about two hours of travel with some

(19:55):
traffic. It's crazy.
And they have it's a lot of foreign guests.
So there's many buses and each bus has like 1 assigned token
Egyptian and I am one of them. So they really need me to make
the bus as well. Yeah, man.
Yeah. Like, you, you, you know what,
Like, I can already see the whole, like, motion picture
version of this. Yeah.
Where you're, like, rushing the bus and the roads are all

(20:17):
congested. Yeah.
But your bus is on the across the desert.
And you're like, just you you jump out of whatever car you're
in. Yeah.
Yeah. You get onto the desert and you
just go in front of this guy with a camel.
Yeah. He just throws.
Some money, like give me the camel.
Yeah. And you're up there.
Yeah. Yeah.
You're riding the camel, like onthe horse.
Yeah, like that all the time. And this is wide shot of just

(20:39):
you alone, the whole desert. Yeah.
I was like, is that guy crazy? Yeah.
Will he actually make it? Yeah, you're like.
I'm with my TIE flying back, yeah.
I think it's going to the top ofthe, the, the, the, the desert,
right, You know, and then you'recoming downwards the the camels
falling down. You trick all over, right?
And you're like walking on the same.
I'm getting there, getting there, getting to the bus.

(21:00):
And from the distance you see people getting on the bus, like,
I don't know, like is he gonna make A and then still you gonna.
Wait for man, wait for. Man, you don't know which way to
go. And then cuts back to the bus
again. They're like, I don't know, I
guess we're gonna have to go by ourselves.
Yeah. I mean, is anyone, is anyone
have any Egyptian blood in there?
You have an Egyptian ancestor and you're like I, I have.
Coming. I have coming.

(21:22):
Yeah, finally. Still holding my passport.
Yeah, yeah, you're. Running over there.
The bus is just about to leave. You jump on.
You cling onto the back of the bus.
You're clawing onto you. You open the door.
Yeah, like it's the other way. It's the other.
Everyone starts clapping like thank you, Oh my God, we've been
on our way to the slaughterhouse.

(21:42):
He's about to take them to one of the boutique shops where they
scam foreigners. Yeah, yeah.
It's like, you want to buy papyrus?
And he's like, no, don't do thatto the foreigner.
Exactly that, you know, Is that where I paid?
Give the money for the wedding? Shit.
Yeah. You know, yeah.
You're over there and you kick off, you kick the bus driver
down and get the fuck out of here.
Yeah. I will take my.
Foreign. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
They turned into like the movie speed.

(22:02):
You're like rushing to the. Speed versus like a fusion with
the mummy. Yeah, yeah.
Sometimes you're rushing over there.
Yeah. Like, The funny thing is, like,
because you got injured, so while you're on the bus,
someone's like a nurse. And she's like, Oh my God,
you're bleeding everywhere. They start bandaging you.
Yeah. Like a mummy.
You get to the venue, Like, the couple's like, the fuck happened
to you? Yeah.

(22:23):
Do you think I'm in costume? Yeah.
It's like cultural appropriationright over there, right?
They're like, I'm Egyptian. It's OK.
Yeah, exactly. I can't do.
That right And you're over thereand you're like, OK, if anyone
wants to object to this, you better say or hold your piece.
You're like, motherfuckers, you better shut your mouth, man.
Yeah, because I travel all the way.
Yeah, exactly where. Did you come from fucking half
an hour away? So the fuck up.

(22:43):
If you're gonna object now, fuckyou, man.
You know I came all the way fromHong Kong, bitch.
From Shenzhen if anything. Yeah, from Shenzhen.
You better. Allow this wedding to happen.
Yeah, there was, there was no stopping at that point like when
we did the wedding. But that the gig itself back in
Shenzhen was, I mean, it was really cool.
But again, it was very involved.Yeah.
So from Thursday, basically whathappens is I also have to deal

(23:04):
with a dog, right? So Thursday morning or I believe
even Wednesday evening, yeah, I take the dog to Garen and
Cassie's to leave the dog there.And that's like, you know, one
of the last things you do beforeyou leave.
Like, you take her to Kenny Town, leave her there.
She's all settled. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. So I go back home.
I'm. I'm going to Shenzhen the next

(23:24):
day, like in the afternoon, likeI'm going early enough to like
settle down. Yeah, Yeah.
But I have the two big suitcasesbecause I'm going home for like
almost a month and then my family buying stuff for them,
whatever. Yeah.
So I have these two big suitcases.
So from home in Shengwan I take the cab to the the high speed
rail. Right W Calvin straight up,

(23:45):
yeah. Yeah, yeah.
From there, Yeah. You cross.
It was relatively easy, you know, with the suitcase.
It's not. Yeah, Yeah, Super convenient,
but it's fine. Whatever.
Yeah, you get on the train. The train is 14 minutes.
Great. Get off in and then take the DD
there. Like it's so much easier to do
the DD so cheap. Like you get like the DD, like

(24:06):
the equivalent like Uber Black. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's like DD. Half the price, yeah, Yeah.
It's not even half I. Remember like that when I did my
Shenzhen gig, dude. It's so close, Yeah.
And then he had the price difference.
It's so big. It's ridiculous.
I think literally like 1/3 of it.
I went like DD Premium. I was like, you know what?
Let me treat myself a little bitnice.
Yeah. Like that's it for a whole hour.
100 bucks. That's it.
Yeah. Oh my God.
Yeah. And then yeah, yeah.
And also for these nice DDS, like they come in and, like,

(24:29):
carry the suitcases in the back of the car and everything.
So now I'm in the hotel. They basically give me a suite.
It's just stunning. The hotel is just amazing.
Yeah. And I'm there like, finally,
like, OK, I have a moment. But then we had the rehearsal at
the venue that night. So we go down.
The venue is like, you know, it's the ballroom of.
The You came in Thursday, you got to sleep in one night.
Yeah, but the rehearsal is the same night.

(24:51):
That's another reason I had to be there anyway.
Even better than. You.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
So the rehearsal is in the ballroom and they're setting up
all this stuff they have like a sand paint lady.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. They have a traditional Chinese
dance. Yeah, they have a literal, like
a magician who is incorporating some AI elements.
So that's actually so impressive.
The magician is like, there's a big screen and he's like doing

(25:13):
all the shit with his hand, but then he's like taking stuff from
the screen that suddenly becomesin his hand.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a burger.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also there was the whole
bird thing. The bird was also flying on the
screen that just. Comes out.
Bird came out in his hand and then he did this shit like just
clapped his hand and the bird turned into feathers and I'm
like what the fuck did you do tothe bird?

(25:35):
Dude, usually the pigeon comes out the kitchen.
Yeah, that's a Ding, Ding, Ding.Ding Ding, Ding, Ding, it's
already roasted after everyone's.
That would be so. Oh, I did.
I did the silly trick that you taught me about finger.
No, not the finger. The first one with the one
bucket. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They loved it. They loved it.
Yeah. So we had already planted the

(25:56):
stickers thing on the on the bread plates.
Yeah. And they went nuts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I wanted.
No, you didn't. It's the president you left.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So silly.
He's a multi billion dollar hedge fund manager.
Absolutely. And they're all going nuts.
And the stuff that I, they had to give away because they had
big budget was quite cool. It's like a whole like car kit

(26:17):
with like, you know, whatever, like Bluetooth speaker and blah,
blah, blah. So they're like excited for, for
the gifts. But yeah, it's always like,
because I tell them to raise the, the bread plate and I
really hold it for a bit. I'm like, show everybody who has
the sticker under the plate. They're like, yeah, I'm like,
cool, the person next to you should come to me to collect the
price. You get it?

(26:39):
Yeah. Your plates grow smashing.
Yeah, Fuck that shit, man. Yeah, it turns out like $100
supermarket. Like, fuck that, man.
Yeah, I want this shit. Yeah, it's, yeah.
You create like a big commotion right in the beginning.
Yeah. So, I mean, honestly, that whole
gig was really good, but the whole time you're really looking
at the time. Oh, also, I had checked out
before the gig starts and I had all my suitcases right by the

(27:03):
reception. You're sitting over there just
sitting right there and I'm really watching the time, you
know, flight 1155 and you know, you're halfway through the gig
at 9 whatever. And we're really going on
schedule. But like there is no room for
error at all. There is no room for a performer
taking longer. The production knew that as
well. So the production will really on
top of it. So I'm like no one can fuck

(27:25):
around like the the boss cannot take longer time to for this
speech, nothing cannot happen. And I told them there is a cut
off like I attend. I would just leave.
Like it doesn't matter what's happening.
I would just leave. So we're we're going through the
gate. So cool, you're on stage about
like and the winner might drop. Yeah, yeah.

(27:47):
So we're getting closer. One of the things as well is
that one things that was missingin in the details of the
preparation is that they wanted the theme to be Shenzhen chic,
OK. Oh, Shangri-La chic rather.
OK, So actually, so it's like like fancy Chinese, OK, Yeah.
So that was not communicated to me.
That was one of the things that was just like not communicated

(28:08):
to me. It's not my fault, so I didn't
actually have anything to wear. And the boss, who was coming
from Hong Kong on in on Friday, went to Pottinger Street and
just bought me like a traditional Chinese.
Whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that.
Yeah, which is funny. I wore that.
It was super nice, but I ended up wearing it to the airport

(28:28):
because there's no time. To train, look at this tourist.
Exactly. I look like a doofus.
Yeah. God damn, like you have to wear
like a straw hat or something. Yeah, basically fucked up.
I obviously I would have been like just have my teeth out and
just like offensive, I fly to Cairo.

(28:49):
Broccoli, please broccoli. Yeah, what can the shitty walk.
So I ended up wearing that through the airport, but yeah,
yeah, gig is great. I basically we we say like we
finish on time. We actually, in fact, I had like
had a segment in the middle where it's like a lot of
improvisation. That was part of the plan.
And I did tell them, like, if things are going well, I'm just

(29:11):
going to cut it short and yeah, say 5 minutes.
And I did. So we actually finished I think
around 9:50. Improvising with a game or
something that you have to like,get people just.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get people like come up and
like, just play around, Yeah, play around so you can.
Control that time. Yeah, yeah, I can control that
time a bit. I have.
Oh, I had them give me some small gifts to for the improv
game and it was basically like best dressed because it was

(29:32):
Sangre Lashiq. So I had people like, do like
catwalk. And stuff.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
So I had like, you know, there was a white guy who lives in
Dubai who was wearing a traditional, like a Arab, Arab,
like golf thing. And I'm like, that's cultural
appropriation. And I was giving him shit.
So yeah, I was like parading them on stage, making fun of
them. So I cut some time from there.
So we're like wrapping up around9:55.

(29:53):
I'm like, cool, great. I got to get the fuck out and
yeah, we I just run out, call DDGod bless.
DD shows up right away. You're now on the way to the
airport and it's like clock is kind of ticking and the even
though it's Emirates for some reason, the first the let me
check in only the Dubai to Cairoroute.

(30:14):
Not the Schengen. No, I think it might have
something to do with the China airports being annoying.
OK, whatever. So just not letting me check in.
On the phone you mean on? The phone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe.
You have to show some paperwork.Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
So I'm also not checked in, which is a little annoying.
Yeah. So I get to Shenzhen and
actually like, yeah, it goes. It goes very smoothly from the.

(30:35):
So what time did you get to the airport?
10/20. Okay, okay.
Yeah, I wouldn't have to. Yeah, yeah, an hour and a half
exactly. So it was actually fine to the
point that I, like, went into the toilets and changed from my
freaking offensive. Like, no, but yeah, no, I'm not
gonna fly with that. Yeah, you go to the counter.
Hi. Yeah, how do?
I get back here. So checked in, all fine.

(30:58):
Now flying to Dubai and yeah, get to Dubai, it's like a three
hour layover and you know, get some food, whatever.
And it's like now we're landing in Egypt, everything is on time.
So land in Egypt, that's where the first where the first hiccup
is because you land in Egypt, it's quite quick through the
immigration, but then the the the suitcases carousel in Egypt

(31:19):
is. Notoriously bad, yeah.
Especially so the second leg from from Dubai to Egypt,
because that's a really frequentroute.
Yeah, it's an A380 plane. Oh shit, that's a big one.
It's a big one, even though the big 1 you would think is the
long haul. Yeah.
So the first one was a 777, the second one is an A3. 80 the
first one how long is weight loss much longer.
Yeah, it's, it's 8 1/2 hours. It's a 777.

(31:41):
It's a small, I really wanted the A 382 second plane because
that's actually more space. But no.
But the point is the A380 has about 400 passengers plus and
all these fucking passengers, the the suitcases average of two
pieces each. There's about 800 suitcases.
And on top of that, I don't havean Egyptian SIM card and the
Wi-Fi doesn't work. So I am just waiting and my

(32:03):
family's outside and I'm just disconnected.
And I'm also worried about the wedding.
I have no idea what's happening.So it's getting quite late.
So it's like 12, like I land at 11:50, whatever it is, and now
we're like going to the 1:00 PM territory.
I'm supposed to be at the churchby like 2 something.
Oh man. Yeah.
But given the distances, just like really crazy.
So eventually take the suitcases, run out blah blah

(32:25):
blah, meet my family. We knew an Egypt airport.
When you're looking at the suitcase castle, do you have to
do the whole like, don't, No, don't normally steal my
suitcase, motherfuckers. Oh yeah, you can be there,
right. I mean, for vigilant for that
one, Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, you have to be vigilant,
but also you have to factor in that you might need to leave it
and like, be like, I I lost it. Like, you guys just figured it
out. Oh, shit.
Right. Yeah.
Because like, there's no time. Like if it's really not showing

(32:48):
up, you could just be like, OK, it's.
Lost luggage? Figure it out.
You sent it. You sent it to me later.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, it had my my suit in
it, so I really needed to. Well, luckily.
You have a Chinese suit you can wear instead.
Exactly. Actually, yeah, I could have
done that. Yeah, that wasn't my backpack.
That would have been funny. But eventually came my mom and
my brother waiting for me outside.

(33:08):
They drive me home. It's exactly that scenario of
like 12 minutes at home, exact. Shower, get in the suit, get the
fuck out. And they're not driving me to
the next location, to the church.
It's like really far or whatever.
So I take an Uber now getting tothe church, they're finishing
the service. I am holding the bus now they're
waiting for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(33:28):
So the other buses are waiting for that bus and everybody's
waiting for me. But.
Oh, so you mean you hadn't arrived yet?
No, I hadn't. Arrived oh so they're all
waiting for you before that particular bus that you're
supposed to be on yes could taketake off yes exactly all right
but by that time did you have a SIM card or something or.
Yeah, yeah, I took my mom's SIM card and now I am talking to
them like I'm on the way, blah, blah.
But it's Cairo traffic on a Saturday afternoon.

(33:49):
It's an absolute nightmare. So I get to like about two
blocks behind like from the church and they're like, you
need to walk. So I'm actually doing that
scenario of you. Did you run across the desert?
Get a camel. I I ran across the the streets
of Cairo with no camel but in full suit.
Yeah, after all of this trip. Were you running though?

(34:11):
Were you walking? I was actually running, Yeah,
yeah. Yeah, yeah.
You're doing that. I ran, got on the bus and was
like, yeah, and there people, I'm here.
And then the bus wouldn't move for 45 minutes.
God damn it, dude. I was so annoyed because it's
not because of anything. It's stuck in traffic.
So I just show up like outside of the church and like, yeah,

(34:32):
let's go. And they're like, go where?
Yeah, that's actually why I got off because we got stuck in
traffic. So I'm like, oh, I'm late.
Yeah. But then it turns out the whole
blocker, yeah, everyone is stuck.
I'm like, fuck, I get. A message you and told you be
like oh by the way chill dude. Well, yeah, whatever.
So I get on the bus, finally we're making it to the venue and
the venue's on the other side ofit's basically from Cairo to

(34:52):
Giza, it's the same, They call it Greater Cairo.
It's like 1 big massive metropolis, but it's actually 2
provinces or cities merged together.
So that's, we're going to buy the pyramids basically the whole
other side. So it's like an hour away and
yeah, we get to the wedding. And from there it's like kind of
smooth sailing. You know, everyone is in a good
mood. There is an open bar, people are

(35:14):
drinking, people are having fun.And then from like 6:00 PM
onwards, it's like the actual wedding ceremony.
Yeah. And it's, it's pretty because
like the Russians have, they're both traditional countries in
the sense of like how they do weddings and stuff.
So Russians have something called the Carvai, I think.
And it's basically like the bride and groom eat a piece of

(35:36):
bread. Like, eat from the same bread.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And whoever takes a bigger bite
is like the man of the. Oh shit, OK.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was fun.
Like her parents made the the bread and then they did it and
they were explaining to the Egyptians what the hell is going
on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Also, she used to live in Kuwaitwhen she was much younger.
Her dad was like a military attache to the the Russian

(35:57):
embasser ambassador. So he speaks decent Arabic.
So he did his speech in Arabic. A big Russian man do his speech
in Arabic, which is amazing. And a lot of other speeches,
like, you know, a lot of the like cute stuff, like people
making fun of them or whatever. I got the biggest laugh.
So, you know, of course, yeah, of course.
And got a big applause. So I'm actually the star of that

(36:19):
wedding. And yeah, after that from there,
the wedding thing was. Great.
Did you tell them? Let me just remind you
motherfuckers, 24 hours ago, Yeah, I was emptying a hedge
fund event, getting paid shit tons of money.
Yeah. And now here I am trying to
crack jokes about how you live in Paris.
Yeah, exactly. And killing.
Yeah. And killing, maybe.
Aware. Yeah.
You are lucky to have me today. Yeah, yeah.

(36:40):
Basically that's that. My whole thing was like, yeah, I
am. How awesome I am.
How awesome I am exactly. Yeah, exactly.
Because I did that thing. That's why you sit together.
Yeah. Yeah.
I didn't even hit on her. I don't expect, you know, you
know, I was into Russian women, as you could see back then.
Exactly. I didn't even, yeah, I didn't
try to see. I could have easily stolen.
Her easily, Yeah. Come on.
What were you doing yesterday? We had a hedge fund
motherfucking party. Yeah, when they were waiting for

(37:02):
you to. By the way, because she's in the
financial sector, she was like you did.
I told her the name of the client and she was like, blown
away that I even had to work with them.
Yeah. She's like, they're huge.
Yeah. Yeah, I know.
Yeah, like that's what I do. And you know what?
Until I called them to come on stage, they could not get the
fuck up. Yeah, Instead of that, until
Muhammad says you may now come to the stage to give a welcome
stage. So for all you fuckers who want
to take the mic now, let me remind you assholes how much I

(37:24):
get paid to hold the mic correct.
OK, so yeah, after that, the rest of the highlights of the
trip was the wedding was fine. Like we hung out a couple of
times after, like with the guests and everybody like
they're in Egypt. So like we took them around a
bit. It was super cool and I got to
spend some time with my family. But the couple more highlights
of this trip 1 is the Grand Egyptian Museum happened to open

(37:48):
when I was there. Oh, OK.
Yeah, so the Grand Egyptian Museum, they've been building it
for over 20 years. Oh, so this is like it just
opened? It literally opened on the 4th
of November. There was like the big crazy
ceremony with like presidents and everybody.
It's not for public. Yeah.
And they had like, you know, yeah, presidents and like crazy,
like displays of whatever. Like they had the drone show and

(38:10):
all the. So the Grand Egyptian Museum is
by right by the pyramids. The old museum was in Tahrir
Square. It's in the middle of the city,
The Grand Egyptian Museum. It's created all this buzz
because it's basically the biggest museum in the world for
one single civilization. Damn.
It's dedicated to one single civilization, and it's gigantic.
But the star of the museum is the King Tut Collection.

(38:31):
Collection. I thought it'll be you for the
first time. Yes.
Yeah. I find it.
Look, he he goes on tour a lot. I go on tour a lot.
Fair enough. So this time I was at home.
I'm like we both. Chill out tut tut.
Yeah, yeah, he that motherfuckertours all the time, by the way.
Yeah, he's like a actual touring.
He does. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's everywhere and I've never seen him before.

(38:53):
Deadpan comedy. Yeah.
You know, they're very deadpan. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's just like, yeah, yeah, he'sjust giving you the poker face
stares at you. Yeah, he's just staring at.
You. That's just that, yeah, whole
act. Yeah, So we go like we go like
the day after, like the two daysafter the open and like the
second day, it's open for publicbasically.
And because a weekday, my other brother comes from Dubai, so

(39:13):
we're like my two brothers, my mom and we all go and spend the
day there. And it's just like stunning.
It's crazy how it's also new shiny museum, so everything is
like cool and new and looks goodand everything.
But like at the entrance there is the king Gramses, the the
statue that is like, I don't know.
I don't know what feet are. It's like 100. 80m maybe?

(39:35):
It's super tall. It's like it's impressive right
from the beginning, but then yougo up and there's like all these
galleries and stuff and yes, the, the, the, the collection of
the King Tut thing is so mind bending that you're like, I
don't even know what the fuck I'm looking at anymore.
Because the, the whole structureof it is shrines.
So he was buried under 3 layers of sarcophagus, whatever you

(39:59):
call it, that big coffany thing,but there is 3 layers of it.
Each of them is pure gold. And he's under that in the his
famous mask and he's wearing allthis jewelry of pure gold, but.
In the shrines are 4 rooms that are also made of gold.
You're basically looking at roomexactly about the same size of

(40:20):
the room we're sitting in, and all the walls are gold plated.
Trump must have been like losingthis shit.
Exactly. And they're just have the whole
thing on display there and all his little jewelry and stuff.
You're looking at it. You're like, I don't even know
what this is. This is just insane.
Like you're look and you know, people, it's so offensive to

(40:41):
compare something like this. Someone wrote that's like this
is the Mona Lisa of Egypt's. Like this is so offensive to
what these people did to call itto compared to Mona Lisa.
Mona Lisa is actual garbage nextto it.
It's like Mona Lisa is 180 year old.
Yeah. It's a painting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a painting that I don't
even think I would be impressed by seeing at all, having seen

(41:04):
this. And you know me, I'm not that
like, oh, Egypt is whatever. Like you see something like this
and it's like there is nothing like this at all, even in
current history, Like not even made from before.
Yeah, there is not. No one can make this.
This is. You were more impressed because
like, let's say what the detailsof the walls and this and that
was, it was like all gold and yeah, like what?
What was so special about that, that room?

(41:25):
It was like what There was like detailed carvings and stuff like
that. Detailed carvings everywhere.
There's so many bright colours on gold, yeah, that you have no
idea how did they even get to that level of detail back then.
With what material there is like, it's basically looks like
it's done with laser. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that stuff is from 3000 years ago.

(41:47):
It's impossible. It's just it's near.
Impossible. Sure dude.
Like that's isn't the whole pyramid thing like half people
think like how do? They are aliens and whatever.
Yeah, I, I think. That's a different thing, I
think, because with the pyramidsit's like some like massive
blocks. It's not beautiful, it's just
impressive. I think what they use, well,
they probably use Shenzhen lasers.
Yes, from yeah, from the gig Exactly.

(42:07):
Yeah, I will. I will.
I will. I mean, I would put a couple of
things on on social media. I was actually waiting to
release the episode first so I can I can put the stuff on.
You did. Yeah.
Yeah. But like I didn't put any
pictures from the museum. But like very quickly I'll show
you. Yeah.
Yeah, this is actually you're getting here to.
Let me try this collection of OK, yeah, you got you got the

(42:28):
the Pharaoh coffin thing full gold, obviously.
That's that's, yeah. Obviously, yeah.
So this is one of shit. Yeah, exactly.
Look at this. Wow.
This is one of four rooms that are, Yeah, you're like what
you're looking at. You can describe what.
You're OK so so basically like, you know, like how sometimes you
get like OK, so let me put it this way you go to like some of

(42:49):
the shop you're. Speechless looking at a photo.
Very impressive man. So insane.
Yeah, yeah. This is crazy because like
basically all their walls being full gold and they've carved
like the picture, the typical hieroglyphics and all that stuff
on the walls where you're like, this is like a video game.
Yes, this is like a textual. Video game Jesus.
Oh my God, that's. Yeah, yeah, I was.

(43:11):
And you were allowed to, oh, youknow, oh, it's.
No, you're not walking it. Yeah, yeah, it's in the big.
Glass, but they actually pulled the whole thing out.
He put the whole thing is basically a big room inside a
glass box. Jesus Christ.
No, no, it's actually like I'm looking at it and I'm like, just
like. Mouths open.
Yeah, that's insane. Yeah, so he was.
Imagine him. So like these rooms are inside

(43:31):
each other. It's basically like, what is it
called? The box.
You know the Russian dolls? Kind of the Russian dolls, but I
was thinking of something else when.
We were in kids, you put. The box in box thing to learn
how to whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we had that
anyway. Yeah, yeah.
So that's basically that. And then he's under all of this
under 3 layers of sarcophagus, Yeah.
And then him in the mummy. This is insane man.

(43:52):
Yeah, yeah. So wow, there is a lot.
This. This, I'm sure, like, behind the
scenes is like, pure torture. Yeah.
Like slaves who just, like, theyjust died halfway to it.
This. Is just one of his like new
things yeah yeah, the jewelry thing but look at even
intricacy, man, intricacy, the colors and it's like.
This is why this is where sometimes.

(44:14):
Sleep. This is his throne, by the way.
We're looking at like a pure gold throne with so many colors
and look, it looks like it just got painted now, so it looks
like white paint. Yeah, it's so fresh to paint.
So fresh to paint. This is man, yeah, there's some
alien shit going on here, dude. Look at this.
Like, you know, one of the statues is wearing shoes, like,

(44:35):
red. Yeah.
And like the distinction betweenthe shoes and the dress.
Yeah. It's so clear.
Wow, that's that's definitely that's a museum you'd want to go
check out. No, no, honestly, like I'm not.
Again, you guys, everyone listening knows my relationship
with Egypt and how complicated it is.
Like this is something like, no,you go to Egypt, you watch that,
you can leave. Yeah.
And here's the mask. Yeah, just the mask is like,

(44:59):
it's just, yeah, like the colors, you know, and
everything. And there's like, it's crazy
when you look at all the other like small jewelry, the his
small jewelry is like a 500 gramyeah, crazy like bracelet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And stuff like this, you're like
that. That's just.
His dude this is pure like just power trip like some insecure
guy who has power Oh yeah anyonedo everything he.

(45:20):
Wants. He's basically, yeah.
He's like, I don't want to call him Trump.
That's offensive. But this is this is very big
insecurity of like being some pharaoh like you know, like you
must all. Even he was like 13, right?
Yeah, he's a child. Spoiled.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was going into this kind of
stuff. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So honestly, like that's, it's
just, it's so impressive. That's like Macaulay Culkin.

(45:43):
Yeah, that is actually you're right, like someone who was
going crazy with the money. He's going crazy.
Yeah, but I mean, his story, which I can't claim to know too
much of, but his story is like, he was kind of like revered as
like, obviously they did all of this for him, but apparently he
was like, yeah, he just didn't care that much.
He was just like, he's a kid. Yeah.
And then they wouldn't know. Yeah, he wouldn't, Yeah, yeah.

(46:04):
But also there is some parts of like how he died, which is very
controversial. Yeah.
Because like there is like the the mummy, the mummy is not
there. I don't know where the mummy is
actually. You know this guy still kid when
he says mommy. Mommy, he's looking for his
mommy. Yeah, that's what he's doing.
But like there is some some conspiracy about like him

(46:25):
getting whacked from the back. Oh yeah.
So you don't really know how he died, which added to the
mystique of it. Oh I mean let's be honest, most
13 year olds do whack. Whack at the front.
Really. I mean, he was so insecure he
had to whack it back. Yeah, he's quite so bored using
his normal, normal forward motion.
He has to go backward motion. Yeah, that's what.

(46:45):
Yeah, Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Because yeah, maybe, yeah, maybehe had a whack chair, walking
chair. I mean, like, you know, there's
people like, who like get get turned up with asphyxiation and
stuff like that. Yeah.
Yeah. But his thing, man, he was using
gold to whack himself with a guy.
Yeah, he harder. Hit me harder.
Maybe that's actually the real cause of.
Death. Yeah, he's played this in
Britney Smith. Hit me maybe one more time.

(47:05):
Look, it falls down. Yeah.
I mean if that was the the causeof death, would never say that.
They would never admit it. Yeah, that actually, ironically,
the room and all the chairs thatwas made, Yeah, was what killed
it. I mean like, I mean, for all you
know, he probably ate the gold thinking I want to get my
insides gold in, you know? Yeah.
I mean, you know, the process ofthe mummification is also

(47:26):
obviously you take all the soft parts out and back then they
didn't do it surgically to keep the body intact.
They would pull it through your nose and.
Eyes. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, just like you're basicallypulling brains through your
nose. Yeah, not when you're alive.
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
When you did, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
But. Wouldn't it be ironic?
They were like, what if we triedhammering it out of him?

(47:47):
Yeah. And that's why what, they didn't
realize he was asleep. Yeah.
He was dead. He.
Was like God, they're saying stop it.
Yeah, You know, one of those things.
Yeah. So I'm.
I'm pretty sure it's blunt forcetrauma right over there.
Yeah. Yeah, probably, yeah.
That's how we. But yeah, I mean, the the
museum, I can't, I can't describe how amazing this is.
Not just this collection. There is a lot of other stuff.

(48:07):
This is obviously the highlight.Yeah, but it's really big and
beautiful and so many things. But because we're running out of
time, the other thing that I didthat was super cool was because
I had like a planned a longer trip to spend time with my
family, but I also wanted to take a couple of days off and go
to the hub. And the hub is a town by by the

(48:28):
Red Sea. So the bigger, closer city to it
is Shama Sheikh, which is known for like a touristy Red Sea, the
resort. I feel like everyone has an.
Airport sounds like a dance move.
You want to do the hub. You want to do the Shama Sheikh,
The Shama Sheikh? The Hub.
Yeah, the hub actually, ironically means gold.
Yeah, it's actually what they have is in Arabic.

(48:50):
Yeah. But the little town, it's a town
of about 5000 people. That never really changes.
I mean, changes a little bit, but like over the years, it just
looks like a sleepy town on a onthe Red Sea.
And it's so nice. It's known for diving and it's
like that. It usually has the quality
tourists. It's not.
The tourists are going all inclusive.
DL, you go to Sharm El Sheikh for that, which is just an hour

(49:11):
away. So if I flew into Sharm El
Sheikh, the the hub has no airport.
The airport is in Shamashi. And you take a taxi for an hour
to get to the hub. And once you're there, you're
just kind of in the middle of nowhere.
Kind of there's like, you know, people learning how to dive.
There are people just chilling. And there's a lot of like
camping and stuff like this. And it's so nice.
And it's one of my favorite places in the world.
And I actually happened to have a friend who lives in Singapore,

(49:33):
Egyptian guy who was one of my best friends.
He lives in Singapore and he goes, he's a free diver and he
goes to the hub every year and spend like some time, does free
diving and just sits there. Oh, OK.
And works from there. Damn.
OK, that's pretty. Cool.
Yeah, yeah. Which is super cool.
So he happens to be, this is oldcoincidental that he happens to
be spending that month there. So I go join him and and I try
scuba diving for the first time,which was super cool.

(49:55):
So I'm people who know me well enough.
I don't, I'm not a confident swimmer at all.
I know how to swim and I don't like it.
I don't like to be like in the deep water, not too far from a
boat, like I need to like I always want to have this thing
with like I want safety, whatever.
I'm not that like snorkeling in the middle of no, I can't do
that. I know how to I don't, I never

(50:18):
want to do it basically. But I've always kind of known
that diving and, and and swimming are two different
things, but I didn't know to what extent are you going to
need those swimming skills? So my friend's friend actually
lives there is a diving instructor has been there for
they went to school together, their childhood friends and the
diving instructor has works in adiving center and they go diving

(50:39):
together sometimes for fun divesor whatever.
And so I hung out with that guy and I'm like, hey, what if I
want to go diving? And he goes, OK, and I go, do I
need anything? He goes, Nope, you just go with
me. And this is what's called a fun
dive. So it's not diving to certify.
Yeah, cuz I have no certification.
You just go and try. Yeah.

(51:01):
And he's like OK, I will take care of you.
If you hate it, then you never do it again and then that's it.
Done. Yeah, Yeah, Done.
And I loved it so much. We spent one hour underwater,
Jesus, Straight underwater. One hour.
And I didn't want to leave. I was actually trying to, like,
almost run away from him. Yeah, Yeah.
Swim away from him. Yeah.
Because like, for the first time, they mostly kind of hold
on to you. Yeah.

(51:21):
Or they're right next to you. So I was actually got so
confident. I was just, like, trying to swim
away. Yeah.
To spend more time. What you see?
Like what was the what was that your attention?
The corals, the corals, but I beyond the coral.
So the habit is is known for like how beautiful the the Red
Sea in general, but that was so special because those quarrels
and the fish is right. So you can be sitting at a

(51:43):
coffee shop, OK, all the coffee shops are like by the water.
You could, you don't even have to dive.
You can just snorkel, swim literally 50 meters in, 20
meters in and you're above like stunning.
You're just seeing them right there.
And the whole coast is like this.
It's so nice. So obviously once you're diving,
you're even getting like seeing like crazier stuff and it's just

(52:05):
right there and you go back out,you can just go back to your
drink basically. It's insane how how cool it is.
But like, yeah, he taught me like, you know, you learned
obviously, like you know how to deal with the oxygen tank and
you're like you're watching yourdepth and all of these things.
But I beyond like what you're looking at, what I really
enjoyed how is how peaceful it is.

(52:26):
It's just so, it's so quiet. So it's like you could you only
hear like. Yeah, that's it.
Yeah. You're hearing your own
breathing. You're hearing the bubbles, but
that's it. Obviously fish makes no sound.
Yeah, yeah. But also because I think I have
a level of ADHD that I'm always distracted when we're doing
anything. Yeah.
Yeah. That's actually, I think what I
enjoy the most is that that's something that's so risky that

(52:49):
you have to focus all of your attention.
Yeah, you're basically your attention is on two things,
breathing and looking at stuff. Well, so no, that's just just
buy a really sharp knife stick around the house.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is like, you know, you're, you're you can't think of like
who is annoying you back. Yeah, you can't think of your

(53:10):
fucking. It just doesn't.
Matter you're not think like he got a Russian wife, why don't I?
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. No, it's exactly.
I can think about this outside when you're.
Crying. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. I mean, useless crying in the
ocean. Yeah.
Like, did you really cry? We just never really was there.
Yeah, exactly. I never.
Yeah. So yeah, you're just looking
around and it's like, you know, the guy is next to me and he was

(53:32):
like, he had a GoPro and he's taking photos and videos and
stuff. Yeah.
And he also got like, like he figured out quickly that I got
the hang of it. So he was like making funny
things. Like he, he learns how to do
like circles with a bubble. So he's like trying to make me
laugh underwater, which. Is really funny.
But we're into 8 meters, which for the first time is really be
good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's like 8 meters depth and it's just like looking at stuff

(53:53):
or whatever. But like, yeah, at the end I was
so because it was my last day before I go back to Cairo.
Yeah. And I'm like, fuck, I should
have done it earlier because youcan't dive on the day of flying
because your body gets compressed, depressed or all of
that stuff. So I want to even do one before
my flight's at 6:00 PM. I'm like, can I wake up at 6:00
AM and do 1 is like, I'm not going to wake up for you now.
Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah.

(54:14):
And also, it's 12 hours, so you have to go like at 5.
That's silly. Yeah, so don't.
But turns out there's actually diving certifications here in
Hong Kong, so you can just go and do it properly because I
want to do it more. But people have done it, told me
actually the bride has done it. OK, so the Russian bride, she
has done it here. Yeah.
She. She was also diver.
Yeah. But she was like, Oh, yeah, you

(54:34):
started at such a high, like thehabit, such a.
Fun and everything. Not just that, the water is high
quality. What you're starting with?
One of the best buddies you bought in the world.
Yeah, you think that she's like,exactly.
She's like if you do it in Hong Kong.
It's like this sucks. Apparently the visibility here
is so bad. Yeah.
That like, she's like people whostart here actually good because

(54:56):
you learn how to swim and basically, yeah, shit, so murky
waters that you actually not seeanything.
And then she's like, you should have started here because
that's. But now your body is so high,
yeah, that you're going to be like, what the fuck?
Yeah. Yeah.
But I want to get certified. So if you have, if anyone
listening has a diving experience in Hong Kong, I can
definitely use some tips and like who to go with because

(55:17):
there's like companies that certify you or whatever you go
out inside Kong and they just dothe whole thing with you.
And yeah, after that back home and then like fly back here.
The fly back here was through Beijing, Air China.
OK, because it's separate tickets and because I want to
fly back to Hong Kong, I'm flying from Shenzhen.
So I have to get separate flights and fly back to Beijing.
Like I fly to Beijing And when last funny story is the flight

(55:43):
was generally full, but next to me was an empty seat, which is
fun for like such a long flight.I'm like, you know, the window
and like the two, the two on theside, but it's empty seat, 2
empty seats. No, no, it's just me and the
next to me is empty seat. So I'm super happy.
But then like an hour into like the 10 hour flight from Kara to
Beijing, this fucking flight attendant comes to me follow

(56:04):
like grabbing a guy. She's like, excuse me, his
screen is not working and you heneeds to sit here so you can
watch the screen. And but like, she didn't ask me.
She had him next to me. And I'm like, you should ask me
first. What if I say no?
But she's just like, she gave meno choice.
So he sat next to me. And I did this now in a comedy
bit. So I'm just going to elaborate
on it more. But the real story is that he

(56:27):
sits next to me, it doesn't touch the screen.
Once. Oh that's piece of shit.
That piece of shit. Exactly.
So clearly he had, like, just some excuses, probably sitting
in the middle seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he just wanted an excuse. Oh, my screen's not working.
Yeah. Move me to like, a because now
his seat is an aisle seat. It's much better.
Yeah, Yeah. And I'm now squished in the
fucking window. Yeah.
So I'm so mad. I'm looking at him I'm I'm such

(56:49):
a pussy like I'm so mad, but I actually give him the pillow
because I had the both pillows. I'm like.
Is. Your pillow.
I'm like, so like, I don't know.But inside I'm so mad.
But I'm like in my head I'm like, what the fuck is great?
That's what you're here for? What some shit?
What some shit. Play some shit randomly.
I don't. Yeah, because you are here for
this, right? Otherwise you're full of shit.
But I'm not saying anything. I'm just, you know what I did

(57:10):
for like 5 minutes? I'm just staring at his screen
and looking at him. So I'm basically going watch
without saying anything. And he, he clocked that I'm like
staring at him and I'm not like breaking, I'm like just looking.
And after 5 minutes, he got so awkward, he left.
He went back to see me. I was so happy.
You see, I swear to God, I was so happy.

(57:34):
You have no idea how happy it was.
Yeah, because I'm like, if you don't watch the fucking screen,
you don't get to set to here. Watch all of the movies.
OK? I was so happy.
Wow. And I got my seat back after the
rest of the flight. Damn, dude.
He was just like, he's like, yeah, I can't sit here.
This guy's just going to keep staring me like a psycho.

(57:55):
I don't. Want to watch this screen?
Exactly. So he just left.
Dude that's so cool. Yeah.
That's so good. He's.
So happy it's such a little victory.
But you had to have 7 hours leftto.
Go yeah, yeah, 7 hours left. So I actually to celebrate this,
I asked one of the tricks that Ido, I asked the staff,
especially on long flight, the flight attendants, do you

(58:16):
usually have slippers for first class and business class?
If you ask them for slippers, they're just going to give
because no one asked for them. So, like, excuse me, can you
give me slippers? Then they always, like, sneak
them to you because they don't want the other passengers to
see. So once he did this, I asked for
slippers. I got them, of course, took my
shoes off. And then I just, like, relaxed
for the rest of the flight. It's the best flight ever.
Yeah. Wow.

(58:39):
Yeah. So yeah, dude.
Well, they go Air China, man. Well done.
Yeah, yeah, no, that was, that was super fun.
Thanks everyone. We're running long.
We're not going to break the hour, so thanks.
This was super fun to retell allof this.
First time I'm telling a lot of stories.
But yeah, TuneIn, we're going togo back to a standard regular
scheduled program, as they say. Yeah, I will go on tour, but

(58:59):
that's for next week because we don't want to go too long.
We're about to do the patreonpatreon.com/hotpot.
You can join us on the Patreon where we will talk about some
shit that we can't talk about onthe free episode.
It's going to be a Part 2 of thesaga that I mentioned on the
Patreon that I can't even say what it is, but join us there.
Thanks everybody and we will seeyou on the Patreon live shows or
here next week. Bye bye.