May 21, 2025 • 29 mins
Ep. #772 | The basics of kegels, important principles, a workout example, and the ideal (and simplest) overall approach.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
On this episode, let's talk about Kegels, or as I like to
refer to it, route training. Some of the basics, a couple of
important principles, and most importantly, what is really the
simplest and most effective approach to this whole idea.
This is the Holistic Alpha podcast where you unlock your
potential and elevate your life on a foundation of empowered
(00:27):
sacred sexuality. Hey guys, welcome back to the
show. I'm Stephen Mathis or welcome to
the show for the first time. Thanks for being here.
Thanks for including me in your day.
If we have just crossed paths orif you're just checking out the
podcast for the first time, or if you're just not already
subscribed, subscribe so you getfuture episodes of the show.
(00:47):
The best place to do that is Spotify.
You can watch either video or audio, depending on whatever is
working for you in the moment. Let's talk about kegels.
Reverse kegels. I like, as I like to refer to
it, route training. So we're going to cover a few
basics, a couple of very important principles to keep in
mind and then kind of bring it all together into the big
(01:08):
picture, which is really the simplest, most effective
approach to this whole idea of strengthening, relaxing, having
an effective and healthy pelvic floor that serves you not only
in your sexual life, but in yourlife overall.
Because it does serve us in our life overall.
(01:28):
It is a very, very important part of our body.
It's important energetically. One of the things that I've
often talked about when it comesto a root.
And by the way, I really like that term because it is in a lot
of ways you see this tree behindme.
It is in a lot of ways our kind of root that taps into that
something that gives us this energy, excuse me, and this
(01:51):
power. It is in a lot of ways a root.
It's also what really connects us to the earth.
It's kind of what bridges the gap between our upper and lower
body. And if we include from our
pelvic floor on down to our feet, it is in a very physical
kind of way our route to the earth.
So what do you call it? Kegels, Reverse kegels.
We'll talk about the difference there in just a minute.
(02:13):
Or as I like to often call it, aroot squeeze or root push.
Whatever you call it and howeveryou approach it, it matters.
It matters physically in our body.
The structural health of your body is dependent upon a healthy
pelvic floor. Over time, your urinary
healthier. So many things are dependent
(02:34):
upon a healthy pelvic floor. It really, really matters.
So let's talk about a couple of basics again, a couple of kind
of key principles to keep in mind and then bring it all
together. So basics, first of all, Kegel,
reverse Kegel, root squeeze, root push, those are two
different ways, rather four different ways of kind of
(02:55):
referring to the same thing. So on the one side, we have the
squeezing contracting action, which is what is often referred
to as kegels. If you look online in various
places more often you'll hear those talked about when it comes
to women. I have no idea why, because
we're all humans. We all have a pelvic floor.
It is absolutely critical to us as men.
(03:17):
Of course, there are people thattalk about it, but if you just
think about, oh, kegel, what is a kegel?
You squeeze that muscle, just doa bunch of those and you're
going to be good. It's totally not the way that it
works. A lot of guys with the best
intentions end up kind of going down paths that are not that
effective. But first of all, let's clarify
that terminology. So on the squeeze or engaging
(03:39):
kind of side, we have Kegel, or as I often refer to it, and if
you go back in previous episodes, you'll hear me refer
to it. A root squeeze, right?
This is where we're contracting that muscle.
If you were to be urinating and stop that flow, that's the
muscle that you're that you're going to use.
By the way, in terms of how you connect your mind to that
(04:00):
muscle. We're going to dive a little
deeper on that in a much more effective way.
But the basic way to think aboutit is if you're going pee and
you stop midstream, you're goingto have to squeeze your root
muscle. You're going to have to in
essence do a kegel. Or if you have to go pee and you
haven't been able to find your way to the bathroom yet, you're
going to have this kind of automatic squeeze.
A lot of guys also, which again we're going to kind of come back
(04:21):
to when it comes to the health of this area, a lot of guys have
kind of the consistent all the time kind of tension and squeeze
that is in this muscle. And I'm going to call it a
muscle. It is not a single muscle.
It's a bunch of different muscles that really make up our
pelvic floor all the way from your sacrum, which is at the
root of your spine all the way to the base of your penis.
(04:42):
And actually these muscles that wrap around the penis.
There's all these different muscles that make up the pelvic
floor, but for simplicity sake, let's call it the root muscle,
right? So a lot of guys are carrying
tension in that or squeezing it kind of unconsciously very often
that is very detrimental not only to the health of that area
(05:03):
long term, it's also detrimentalto things like your sexual
control, your ability to have stamina and last when you're
having sex or when you're in your edging session.
So that kind of not even thinking about it, automatic
kind of squeeze and tension, nota good thing.
We want to avoid that. However, we do want to build up
strength on that squeeze side. So kegel, root squeeze on the
(05:27):
other side, we have reverse kegel or root push, two
different ways of referring to the same thing, which is again,
that root muscle, for simplicity's sake, a root push
or a reverse kegel is the opposite, right?
So if you were like peeing outside, you're in the
mountains. I love peeing outside.
By the way. If you're peeing outside and
you're trying to like pee farther and kind of like push
(05:51):
that out, or if you're trying topush out a far or something like
that, there's a couple differentways to think about that.
Those are two good ways if you're brand new to this idea to
help you kind of tune into it. But it's the opposite, right?
On the one side, we have the squeeze and the contraction.
On the other side we have the push.
And on the push side, it's not really as important to develop a
significant amount of strength on that side.
(06:12):
What is important is the abilityto consistently, reliably and
actually is kind of an automaticthing, be a little bit on that
side of things where we're relaxed, we're right in the
middle or we have that ability to easily go to kind of that
push side of things because that's where we have better
control. That's where we can find a place
(06:32):
of relaxation as we come back toit throughout the day, which
we'll talk about more in a minute.
So those are the two sides, right?
That's the kind of terminology to be aware of.
Now there's a couple of principles that we need to talk
about that are very, very important.
First is let's clarify strength and training and squeezing and
making this thing stronger versus relaxation.
(06:53):
Both are important. Like is it important to be
strong or flexible? Both, right?
If you're going to just think about your body overall, would
you want to be really, really strong but incredibly tight and
inflexible? No.
Would you want to be really, really flexible, like the
world's bendiest dude, like Gumby or something and not have
any strength at all? No, you wouldn't want that
(07:14):
either. What helps us feel the best and
brings us the best health in ourlife is a balance of the two.
Having strength, having relaxation and flexibility.
That's what we want to have in our pelvic floor, in our root.
We want to have that balance of strength as well as relaxation.
And most importantly, this is kind of the second real
(07:35):
principle is that it is very important that the relaxation is
the resting point. That's what we come back to.
So yes, it is valuable to practice that squeeze and
contraction side. It is valuable to have strength
in that, right. One of the basic reasons is
strong muscle leads to more blood flow, stronger root,
(07:59):
stronger pelvic floor leads to more blood flow in that entire
area, which as you can imagine leads to good things in both
your sexual life and in your life overall.
We're going to talk about a couple of different aspects of
that, by the way, in kind of in terms of kind of how to
incorporate this as well as the benefits that it brings to our
overall life, not just our sexual life.
So do we want to have a strong route?
(08:19):
Yes. Do we want to have a relaxed
route? Yes.
That's the first principle to beaware of.
This is not a squeeze, squeeze, squeeze more and more and more.
And that's going to be the magical solution to everything.
No, it is let's train the squeeze side.
Let's have the strength and let's also have the relaxation.
And then the second key principle is the relaxation is
the place you come back to. The relaxation is the thing you
(08:41):
remind yourself of. The relaxation is the
foundation, the grounded thing that you rest in moment to
moment when you're not actively and for a very good reason
engaging that squeeze side. One thing that we want to avoid
with our root muscle is these unconscious kind of squeezes.
This is a big thing when it comes to stamina and having
(09:02):
control. If you tune into this,
especially if you maybe you justfound the show or you're not
really familiar with any of these ideas at all, or you're
kind of earlier on in the journey.
One thing that you may be very well aware of if you start to
pay attention is that often throughout the day, you're
squeezing this route without thinking about it at all.
It might just happen throughout the day no matter what's going
(09:24):
on. It might happen anytime you have
sort of a sexual thought or somekind of thought that arouses
you. That might be the automatic
reaction, right? Whatever the reason, if your
route is squeezing when you're not specifically directing it to
and intending it to with that mind body connection, if it's
just kind of doing it on its own, that is a huge red flag to
(09:46):
you to develop better control ofthat muscle.
It's like doing its own thing. It's like a wild stallion that
that doesn't really serve you because it's just right.
You got to rain that thing in. So as it relates to that, The
thing is to be aware of it, to just start to be aware of when
is it squeezing Automatically you think about your partner,
(10:07):
your girlfriend, the woman you're talking to on an app, the
woman you're going to go on a date with, or you're just
walking around everyday life. You start to notice, oh, that's
like squeezing. I'm not thinking about it.
Why do I need to squeeze that right now?
There's no good reason for me tobe doing that.
In fact, there's a very good reason to avoid those
unconscious automatic kind of squeezes.
And really the way to do that isjust be aware of it.
(10:28):
And when you're aware of it thatit's like, oh, I'm holding
tension there, it's squeezing automatically.
You just come back to a place ofintentional relaxation.
So we've got some basics. We've got a little bit of a
foundation. We've got a couple of key
principles to keep in mind before we bring it to kind of
the simplest, most big picture and actually most effective way
to approach this. Let's first talk about training
(10:50):
and routines and workouts because this is something that
comes up. It's something that I've kind of
talked about here and there in various ways.
Something that comes up in a lotof guys minds is, OK, I want to
train my root muscle. Give me a program, right?
Give me a exact plan to follow when it comes to route training.
We can do that. We can absolutely do that.
We can go into exact numbers androutines, right?
(11:12):
Let's do a very, very basic version of that here.
The first thing is if you're going to have let's a session,
let's say you're driving, that'sa good place to do it,
especially once you get familiarwith it.
You don't have to really think about it.
It can kind of be this sort of under the, you know, under the
surface kind of awareness. You're driving, you're sitting
in your office, you're sitting at home.
(11:32):
You can do it while you're walking.
It's a little trickier to do it while you're walking.
You might find, you will likely find in fact, that sitting is
going to is going to be where you are most able to connect
your mind and your awareness andyour control with those muscles.
There's something about kind of that pressure of sitting where
it helps you be more aware of itbecause it's like being pressed
on, right? So whenever it is, whatever
(11:56):
circumstances you're having a workout, you want to do a Kegel
workout, right? First thing is you want to train
both sides. You want to train the squeeze,
you want to train the push, right?
So don't do a kegel workout where you just squeeze, squeeze,
squeeze, squeeze, and that's it.And you go about your day.
That's not going to help you. It's going to get things out of
balance, in fact, and it may actually be detrimental to
things like your control and your stamina, right?
(12:18):
So the first thing, if you're going to program a workout or
think about a workout for yourself, a very specific one is
you want to do both sides, right?
This is kind of like if you werethinking about your arms and
your upper body, right? I know a lot of you guys are
training, maybe lifting weights,doing something like that.
Hopefully you are doing some kind of physical training.
If we think about our upper body, one way we can divide that
and think about it is push and pull.
(12:41):
We don't want to do all push or all pull.
We're going to get really, really out of balance.
We want to do both. Same thing with your root muscle
is you got to do both. The other thing, by the way,
I'll give you like some specificnumbers here in just a minute
and timing and things like that that you can experiment with if
you would like that. The other thing when you're
programming a workout per SE, we're going to move beyond that
(13:03):
by the way, to a much better, simpler level that's in some
ways more advanced, in some waysmore simple.
But you may have a desire to kind of very specifically think
about it. I know for a lot of guys that
kind of works better, right? So the first thing is you want
to do both and I would have an equal amount of both on the
squeeze side, on the push side or the relaxation side.
If you feel like you're out of balance to one side where you
(13:27):
really have very, very little strength, for example, like it's
very hard for you to even feel any strength in your root
muscle. You, you know, your erections,
your libido is a challenge. You feel it feels weak.
You may want to do actually moreon the, the squeeze side, the
engagement side. If you struggle with stamina and
control, you may want to actually do more on the push
(13:48):
side. So maybe like a 2 to 1.
So if lasting longer is a big concern for you when you're
doing a specific routine like this, you might want to do a 2
to one ratio of the push or the relaxation side versus the
squeeze side. So first do both sides.
Second, think about how much you're doing on both sides.
(14:09):
The next thing is timing. We want to train different
lengths of holes or different lengths of kind of engagement.
So what I mean by that is if we think about the squeeze side,
the kegel side, you want to train very quick, like a one
second on, one second off, one second on, one second off.
We want to train that kind of a squeeze.
You want to train the in the middle, let's say 5 to 10
(14:30):
seconds, and then you want to train the long hold as long as
you can, right? Effectively.
So on both sides, that's the next thing.
In terms of programming a specific workout is training
different lengths of holds, short, medium, long.
So that's kind of the framework,right?
If you're going to do a specifictraining session, you do both
(14:52):
the squeeze side and the push side or the relaxation side.
You different lengths of holds, short, medium, long.
There's a couple different ways to do this in terms of whether
you go squeeze and then you alternate to push.
For example, you do all the setsof short squeeze and then you do
all the sets of short push and then so on.
Or you do all the squeeze stuff and all the push stuff.
(15:15):
There's no right answer. Do whatever feels right to you.
Experiment with both test F round and find out that kind of
thing, right? So for example, if you are
beginning this kind of idea, youmight be something like the
following. If you think about let's say 7
to 10 reps of each one on each side.
So you do 7 to 10 short squeezeswhere you squeeze that muscle,
(15:37):
intentionally relax it, squeeze it, intentionally relax it,
squeeze it, intentionally relax it.
You use 7 to 10 short ones, thenyou do 7 to 10 medium length
ones, then you do a smaller number of longer ones, let's say
3 or 4, right? So that would be a very simple
effective routine that you couldthink about.
If you're going to do kind of a one to one where you're going to
balance the squeeze side and you're going to balance the push
(15:58):
side where they're kind of even and you don't feel like you need
to accentuate one side or the other.
You might do something like one set 7 to 10 reps of quick
squeeze, relax, quick squeeze, relax, and then seven to 10
medium length, 5 to 10 seconds. Hold on the squeeze, relax for
five to 10 seconds, Hold on the squeeze for five to 10 seconds,
(16:19):
relax. And then so on with the longer
ones, right? So that's a very, very basic
routine. Now, if you're more advanced, if
you have a stronger root muscle,you're going to want to do more
than that. It's probably not going to be
enough to really move the needlefor you.
But let's talk about what is really the best way to approach
this whole idea, and that is to move beyond the idea of a
(16:42):
specific sort of training session, like, oh, I'm going to
do kegels in this moment, right?Sure, you can do that.
You can. You can have those individual
periods of the day where you very specifically focus on it.
But the best approach is to justhave an awareness of it
throughout the day and to engageit throughout the day
(17:03):
effectively, right? So there's going to be
sometimes, for example, when you're working out, I had a
recent episode talking about engaging your root muscle when
you're training very specifically.
I'll link that down below, maybea few other episodes about this
kind of topic as well. So the best way is to engage it
throughout the day. So when you're training, you're
engaging that squeeze when you're in the exertion part of
(17:25):
an exercise and then you're intentionally relaxing it.
Couple different ways to approach that.
Again, you can check the check out that episode for more
details. But not just your workout.
When you're going throughout everyday life, you're at work,
you're driving, you're walking, you're at home in your home
life, whatever it is, want to have kind of this baseline
awareness of what is going on with your route.
The same way you might have about your posture.
(17:47):
Think about if you were going toapproach your posture where
you're like, OK, I'm going to really commit to being aware of
my posture throughout the day. I'm going to, if I find myself
having poor posture, I'm going to remind myself and I'm going
to get back in better posture that that's really the approach
to posture. By the way, you can do strength,
any exercises and things like that.
Ultimately it comes down to being consistent moment to
(18:09):
moment throughout the day and day-to-day in that better
posture. Same thing with your root
muscle. You can do those individual
training sessions, but ultimately what is most
effective is to have that awareness throughout the day and
to be training it throughout theday, day-to-day, right?
So if you have that awareness and you also have the intention
and the awareness to focus on strength and build that
(18:31):
strength, what is that going to look like?
Well, it's going to look like throughout the day, you're going
to kind of be aware of that. You're going to realize, oh, am
I kind of holding some tension there?
That's going to be a very, very common thing for most of you
guys. For most of us, that's kind of
the default. We need to get out of that
automatic tension place and comeback to a place of relaxation.
So it's going to look like throughout the day, you're going
to kind of be aware, oh, am I squeezing it?
Am I relaxing it? And then also throughout the
(18:53):
day, when you have the opportunity, you're going to
train that squeeze side, you're going to train the very
intentional relaxation side, train that kind of slight push.
A couple last notes on this before we wrap up this episode 1
on the relaxation side. Massage and massage guns can be
very, very beneficial here. In fact, I would highly, highly
(19:18):
recommend that you incorporate one or both of those things if
you are at all familiar with physical training, working out
in the gym, you're familiar withthe idea that recovery is key,
especially if you're getting older, right?
If you're like 18 years old, you're recovery.
Well, I don't need to recover. Seem to be like, go to
McDonald's and eat a bunch of core paddles.
I'll be fine, right? That doesn't work.
As you get older, As you get older, recovery becomes more and
(19:39):
more important. Recovery when it comes to your
root, your pelvic floor, very, very important.
Rest is one of those things, right?
So you do want to take rest daysjust like you wouldn't want to
do heavy, you know, deadlifts every single day.
You don't want to do heavy squeeze training on your root
every single day without any rest whatsoever.
You want to take some rest days from that kind of stuff.
(19:59):
The other thing? Again, is massage and massage
gun. So this is not an area of our
body that we can stretch out like how you going to stretch
your pelvic floor. You can do things like an
ancestral squat where you're in a very deep squat that will
actually kind of stretch out your pelvic floor to some
degree, but not completely. Ultimately, the best way to
actually get in there and relieve that tension is with
(20:21):
massage. So either manual massages with
your hands or with a massage gun.
I freaking love massage guns. It is become probably my most
important recovery tool, not only for this area of my body,
but for my entire body. Obviously with a massage gun,
you're going to want to be gentle.
There's no need, whether it's manual massage or the massage
(20:41):
gun, there's no need to overdo that kind of stuff.
You can overdo that. It's like you can overdo the
training side, right? But either one of those manual
massage with your hands or massage gun, it will allow you
to really explore and get into and release a lot of that
tension that has built up. And if you have a lot of these
kind of automatic squeezes all the time or if you just know
(21:03):
that you carry some tension, a lot of guys are very well aware
of the fact that they carry excess tension their pelvic
floor. Sometimes it may even be
painful. If that is true for you, massage
those areas, it will help so much.
Make massage a regular practice.So the basic version of that,
use your fingers, use your hands, go on the front kind of
(21:24):
the front of your pubic bone. Like if you think about going
from your lower abdominals in the center as well as out to
your hip bones, go from there down towards your cock and those
areas. And then you want to kind of
think about the other side as well, of course, right?
So your perineum area, all thoseareas kind of around the anus
like where your your hamstring connects up really, really deep,
(21:45):
where your glute connects up really, really deep, those very
deep kind of areas on the underside, very important areas
to do this kind of massage with as well.
So that recovery will make a huge difference in how well this
whole thing goes for you in terms of training this part of
your body, improving it. And especially if you have any
(22:06):
kind of pain or tension down there, you want to focus on the
relaxation side, you want to focus on massage.
Make it a regular thing, just like if you had a really tight
bicep or whatever, you can release that tension, but it's
not going to happen instantly. You're not going to massage for
three minutes and you're going to be like, oh, all the tension
in my pelvic floor is gone. No, what you're going to do
(22:27):
ideally is you're going to incorporate massage into your
daily practice. My favorite way to do that is to
do it when you have your edging practice.
So if you have a mindful edging practice, incorporate massage
into that, right? Because that's when you'll have
the opportunity to do it. So if you're driving, for
example, and you're kind of doing some of this root
training, you're probably not going to be able to like massage
(22:49):
in that moment. That probably wouldn't be safe.
Or if you're doing it in other circumstances, you may just not
be able to do that. If you're having a mindful
edging practice, that is a time when you're going to be able to
get in there and massage that area.
I would also encourage you to doit any other time you think
about it, it's like you're laying there at night before you
go to bed, give it a few minutesof massage.
You'll be amazed at what consistency will do when it
(23:12):
comes to the relaxation, the massage, all that kind of stuff.
You cannot, you can't do some huge amount of work in releasing
tension in one day. What you can do is really just a
small amount, 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, something
like that. A massage of intentionally
releasing that tension. You do that consistently and
you're going to find a whole different level of relaxation.
(23:33):
You're going to find a whole different level of performance
and how that area of your body shows up for you.
You're going to find a whole different level of health.
I can promise you that. Just focusing on, oh, I'm going
to squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze all the time.
That will lead to major issues not only in your sexuality, but
in your overall health. The relaxation is absolutely
key. So let's sum this up right.
(23:55):
The big idea is, I promise you, I have had much experience in my
own life with clients, with friends, doing very, very
intentional training, right using the app.
I've talked about an app before.There's an app called Stamina
St. AM Ena.
If you're on iOS, if you want tofollow an app and have some
timing, you can do that. I've done that.
(24:16):
I've, I've done that a lot. Actually, I use that app a lot.
I've done a lot of intentional training sessions.
I still do at times, but ultimately the next level and it
it's not only the next level, but it's actually the simplest
thing to do. So instead of overcomplicating
it and thinking about, oh, I gotto do this amount and this
amount and figuring out these exact numbers.
(24:37):
Like if that feels good to you and you really want to write
that down and do that, go for it.
But ultimately, if you actually just practice over and over
again, coming back to having a consciousness and an awareness
of what is happening in this part of your body throughout the
day and engaging it in a very intentional way throughout the
day. So any moment, whether it's a
workout or anything else, any moment that you want to tune
(24:59):
into your greatest strength, your greatest kind of like
energetic power, engaging a squeeze, a root squeeze, a kegel
in that area will help you in the moment tune into your
greatest energetic force, right?So if you're doing something
like a deadlift, you're going tofind you're actually going to
have. And if you're doing any other
(25:19):
kind of workout, you're in the exertion part, you're going to
find that you have more strength, more stability in your
whole body if you're engaging that pelvic floor.
In fact, there's things like Pilates especially, there's
other disciplines as well, but Pilates in particular, a huge
part of the most basic Pilates training is actually an engaging
the pelvic floor. It's engaged pretty much all the
(25:40):
time if you're doing a Pilates exercise.
And by the way, side note, I'm not going to go into details.
Pilates is freaking awesome. It was invented by a guy, Joseph
Pilates, 4 men specifically, even though there's a lot of
women that do Pilates kind of gets lumped in with yoga is
actually invented by like a strong man dude for other men.
So Pilates is freaking awesome. So whether you're doing that,
(26:00):
you're going throughout your day, engage that area of your
body in a squeeze kind of actionwhen you want to carry that
strength. Otherwise, come back to over and
over and over again, a place of relaxation, a place of letting
go, letting go of the tension, massaging it, all of those
things, right? I hope that this has helped
bring this idea to some points of clarity for you because it is
(26:22):
a very, very important thing. You might be thinking about any
other aspect of your sexual health and in in fact, other
aspects of just your energetic health.
Your pelvic floor is a key, key part of that.
So training it, having a healthypelvic floor, a healthy root
that is both strong and relaxed,that is under your control, that
you squeeze when you want, that you relax when you want, that
(26:44):
comes back to a place of defaultrelaxation when you're not
intentionally squeezing it. Putting these different pieces
together is a huge, huge win in your life.
I promise you that when you havea stronger route, you will feel
stronger. You will just feel more
energetic when you have a stronger and more relaxed route
(27:04):
and a route that is within your control.
You're going to have much bettersex.
You're going to have better control.
And again, last note before we wrap up, if you are especially
focused on stamina and having control, do not underestimate
the importance of practicing notthe squeeze side, but the other
side, the push, the relaxation and reminder.
(27:25):
I mentioned this earlier, but reminder on the push side,
there's no need to like push really, really hard.
What we really want to do on that side is we want to get very
good at getting into a slight kind of push to come back across
that midpoint of relaxation a little bit to the push side,
because that actually is what helps us come back to the the
place of relaxation. Ultimately we got to kind of,
(27:46):
it's like a tug of rope or righttug, tug of war.
Sometimes words are such an interesting thing.
Brains are an interesting thing the human experiences.
It's like a tug of war, right? So we got to bring things back a
little bit on that push side. That's what we really want to
focus on is actually the controlwhere in any individual moment,
whether it's a random moment in the day, it's a moment you're
(28:07):
particularly aroused because of something that you see or think
about, or you're having sex, you're in your edging practice
or whatever it is. We want to get to the place
where not only is the relaxationkind of our baseline that we
come back to, but we can instantly relax and come back to
that place of relaxation. It will be a total game changer
in your control when you can do that.
So if you want to have better stamina, I would do like a 2 to
(28:30):
one on kind of the push side so you can develop more of that
mind body connection on the pushside.
That's what it really comes downto.
It's not about strength. Again, on the relaxation, it's
really connecting your mind and your body on a regular and
consistent enough basis so that it rests in that place of
relaxation because you've trained it to do so.
And so you can come back to thatplace of relaxation at any
(28:53):
moment that you choose. I would love to hear your
questions, your thoughts, your feedback.
Leave a comment below. If you're on Spotify, Facebook,
wherever you're seeing this, leave a comment.
I would love to hear from you. And again, if you're not already
subscribed to the show, go to Spotify.
That's the best place. Thanks for sharing a few minutes
of your day. Sending you guys all my best.
Have an amazing rest of your day.
(29:13):
I'll talk to you soon, divedeeper@holisticalpha.com.
On this episode, let's talk about Kegels, or as I like to
refer to it, route training. Some of the basics, a couple of
important principles, and most importantly, what is really the
simplest and most effective approach to this whole idea.
This is the Holistic Alpha podcast where you unlock your
potential and elevate your life on a foundation of empowered
(00:27):
sacred sexuality. Hey guys, welcome back to the
show. I'm Stephen Mathis or welcome to
the show for the first time. Thanks for being here.
Thanks for including me in your day.
If we have just crossed paths orif you're just checking out the
podcast for the first time, or if you're just not already
subscribed, subscribe so you getfuture episodes of the show.
(00:47):
The best place to do that is Spotify.
You can watch either video or audio, depending on whatever is
working for you in the moment. Let's talk about kegels.
Reverse kegels. I like, as I like to refer to
it, route training. So we're going to cover a few
basics, a couple of very important principles to keep in
mind and then kind of bring it all together into the big
(01:08):
picture, which is really the simplest, most effective
approach to this whole idea of strengthening, relaxing, having
an effective and healthy pelvic floor that serves you not only
in your sexual life, but in yourlife overall.
Because it does serve us in our life overall.
(01:28):
It is a very, very important part of our body.
It's important energetically. One of the things that I've
often talked about when it comesto a root.
And by the way, I really like that term because it is in a lot
of ways you see this tree behindme.
It is in a lot of ways our kind of root that taps into that
something that gives us this energy, excuse me, and this
(01:51):
power. It is in a lot of ways a root.
It's also what really connects us to the earth.
It's kind of what bridges the gap between our upper and lower
body. And if we include from our
pelvic floor on down to our feet, it is in a very physical
kind of way our route to the earth.
So what do you call it? Kegels, Reverse kegels.
We'll talk about the difference there in just a minute.
(02:13):
Or as I like to often call it, aroot squeeze or root push.
Whatever you call it and howeveryou approach it, it matters.
It matters physically in our body.
The structural health of your body is dependent upon a healthy
pelvic floor. Over time, your urinary
healthier. So many things are dependent
(02:34):
upon a healthy pelvic floor. It really, really matters.
So let's talk about a couple of basics again, a couple of kind
of key principles to keep in mind and then bring it all
together. So basics, first of all, Kegel,
reverse Kegel, root squeeze, root push, those are two
different ways, rather four different ways of kind of
(02:55):
referring to the same thing. So on the one side, we have the
squeezing contracting action, which is what is often referred
to as kegels. If you look online in various
places more often you'll hear those talked about when it comes
to women. I have no idea why, because
we're all humans. We all have a pelvic floor.
It is absolutely critical to us as men.
(03:17):
Of course, there are people thattalk about it, but if you just
think about, oh, kegel, what is a kegel?
You squeeze that muscle, just doa bunch of those and you're
going to be good. It's totally not the way that it
works. A lot of guys with the best
intentions end up kind of going down paths that are not that
effective. But first of all, let's clarify
that terminology. So on the squeeze or engaging
(03:39):
kind of side, we have Kegel, or as I often refer to it, and if
you go back in previous episodes, you'll hear me refer
to it. A root squeeze, right?
This is where we're contracting that muscle.
If you were to be urinating and stop that flow, that's the
muscle that you're that you're going to use.
By the way, in terms of how you connect your mind to that
(04:00):
muscle. We're going to dive a little
deeper on that in a much more effective way.
But the basic way to think aboutit is if you're going pee and
you stop midstream, you're goingto have to squeeze your root
muscle. You're going to have to in
essence do a kegel. Or if you have to go pee and you
haven't been able to find your way to the bathroom yet, you're
going to have this kind of automatic squeeze.
A lot of guys also, which again we're going to kind of come back
(04:21):
to when it comes to the health of this area, a lot of guys have
kind of the consistent all the time kind of tension and squeeze
that is in this muscle. And I'm going to call it a
muscle. It is not a single muscle.
It's a bunch of different muscles that really make up our
pelvic floor all the way from your sacrum, which is at the
root of your spine all the way to the base of your penis.
(04:42):
And actually these muscles that wrap around the penis.
There's all these different muscles that make up the pelvic
floor, but for simplicity sake, let's call it the root muscle,
right? So a lot of guys are carrying
tension in that or squeezing it kind of unconsciously very often
that is very detrimental not only to the health of that area
(05:03):
long term, it's also detrimentalto things like your sexual
control, your ability to have stamina and last when you're
having sex or when you're in your edging session.
So that kind of not even thinking about it, automatic
kind of squeeze and tension, nota good thing.
We want to avoid that. However, we do want to build up
strength on that squeeze side. So kegel, root squeeze on the
(05:27):
other side, we have reverse kegel or root push, two
different ways of referring to the same thing, which is again,
that root muscle, for simplicity's sake, a root push
or a reverse kegel is the opposite, right?
So if you were like peeing outside, you're in the
mountains. I love peeing outside.
By the way. If you're peeing outside and
you're trying to like pee farther and kind of like push
(05:51):
that out, or if you're trying topush out a far or something like
that, there's a couple differentways to think about that.
Those are two good ways if you're brand new to this idea to
help you kind of tune into it. But it's the opposite, right?
On the one side, we have the squeeze and the contraction.
On the other side we have the push.
And on the push side, it's not really as important to develop a
significant amount of strength on that side.
(06:12):
What is important is the abilityto consistently, reliably and
actually is kind of an automaticthing, be a little bit on that
side of things where we're relaxed, we're right in the
middle or we have that ability to easily go to kind of that
push side of things because that's where we have better
control. That's where we can find a place
(06:32):
of relaxation as we come back toit throughout the day, which
we'll talk about more in a minute.
So those are the two sides, right?
That's the kind of terminology to be aware of.
Now there's a couple of principles that we need to talk
about that are very, very important.
First is let's clarify strength and training and squeezing and
making this thing stronger versus relaxation.
(06:53):
Both are important. Like is it important to be
strong or flexible? Both, right?
If you're going to just think about your body overall, would
you want to be really, really strong but incredibly tight and
inflexible? No.
Would you want to be really, really flexible, like the
world's bendiest dude, like Gumby or something and not have
any strength at all? No, you wouldn't want that
(07:14):
either. What helps us feel the best and
brings us the best health in ourlife is a balance of the two.
Having strength, having relaxation and flexibility.
That's what we want to have in our pelvic floor, in our root.
We want to have that balance of strength as well as relaxation.
And most importantly, this is kind of the second real
(07:35):
principle is that it is very important that the relaxation is
the resting point. That's what we come back to.
So yes, it is valuable to practice that squeeze and
contraction side. It is valuable to have strength
in that, right. One of the basic reasons is
strong muscle leads to more blood flow, stronger root,
(07:59):
stronger pelvic floor leads to more blood flow in that entire
area, which as you can imagine leads to good things in both
your sexual life and in your life overall.
We're going to talk about a couple of different aspects of
that, by the way, in kind of in terms of kind of how to
incorporate this as well as the benefits that it brings to our
overall life, not just our sexual life.
So do we want to have a strong route?
(08:19):
Yes. Do we want to have a relaxed
route? Yes.
That's the first principle to beaware of.
This is not a squeeze, squeeze, squeeze more and more and more.
And that's going to be the magical solution to everything.
No, it is let's train the squeeze side.
Let's have the strength and let's also have the relaxation.
And then the second key principle is the relaxation is
the place you come back to. The relaxation is the thing you
(08:41):
remind yourself of. The relaxation is the
foundation, the grounded thing that you rest in moment to
moment when you're not actively and for a very good reason
engaging that squeeze side. One thing that we want to avoid
with our root muscle is these unconscious kind of squeezes.
This is a big thing when it comes to stamina and having
(09:02):
control. If you tune into this,
especially if you maybe you justfound the show or you're not
really familiar with any of these ideas at all, or you're
kind of earlier on in the journey.
One thing that you may be very well aware of if you start to
pay attention is that often throughout the day, you're
squeezing this route without thinking about it at all.
It might just happen throughout the day no matter what's going
(09:24):
on. It might happen anytime you have
sort of a sexual thought or somekind of thought that arouses
you. That might be the automatic
reaction, right? Whatever the reason, if your
route is squeezing when you're not specifically directing it to
and intending it to with that mind body connection, if it's
just kind of doing it on its own, that is a huge red flag to
(09:46):
you to develop better control ofthat muscle.
It's like doing its own thing. It's like a wild stallion that
that doesn't really serve you because it's just right.
You got to rain that thing in. So as it relates to that, The
thing is to be aware of it, to just start to be aware of when
is it squeezing Automatically you think about your partner,
(10:07):
your girlfriend, the woman you're talking to on an app, the
woman you're going to go on a date with, or you're just
walking around everyday life. You start to notice, oh, that's
like squeezing. I'm not thinking about it.
Why do I need to squeeze that right now?
There's no good reason for me tobe doing that.
In fact, there's a very good reason to avoid those
unconscious automatic kind of squeezes.
And really the way to do that isjust be aware of it.
(10:28):
And when you're aware of it thatit's like, oh, I'm holding
tension there, it's squeezing automatically.
You just come back to a place ofintentional relaxation.
So we've got some basics. We've got a little bit of a
foundation. We've got a couple of key
principles to keep in mind before we bring it to kind of
the simplest, most big picture and actually most effective way
to approach this. Let's first talk about training
(10:50):
and routines and workouts because this is something that
comes up. It's something that I've kind of
talked about here and there in various ways.
Something that comes up in a lotof guys minds is, OK, I want to
train my root muscle. Give me a program, right?
Give me a exact plan to follow when it comes to route training.
We can do that. We can absolutely do that.
We can go into exact numbers androutines, right?
(11:12):
Let's do a very, very basic version of that here.
The first thing is if you're going to have let's a session,
let's say you're driving, that'sa good place to do it,
especially once you get familiarwith it.
You don't have to really think about it.
It can kind of be this sort of under the, you know, under the
surface kind of awareness. You're driving, you're sitting
in your office, you're sitting at home.
(11:32):
You can do it while you're walking.
It's a little trickier to do it while you're walking.
You might find, you will likely find in fact, that sitting is
going to is going to be where you are most able to connect
your mind and your awareness andyour control with those muscles.
There's something about kind of that pressure of sitting where
it helps you be more aware of itbecause it's like being pressed
on, right? So whenever it is, whatever
(11:56):
circumstances you're having a workout, you want to do a Kegel
workout, right? First thing is you want to train
both sides. You want to train the squeeze,
you want to train the push, right?
So don't do a kegel workout where you just squeeze, squeeze,
squeeze, squeeze, and that's it.And you go about your day.
That's not going to help you. It's going to get things out of
balance, in fact, and it may actually be detrimental to
things like your control and your stamina, right?
(12:18):
So the first thing, if you're going to program a workout or
think about a workout for yourself, a very specific one is
you want to do both sides, right?
This is kind of like if you werethinking about your arms and
your upper body, right? I know a lot of you guys are
training, maybe lifting weights,doing something like that.
Hopefully you are doing some kind of physical training.
If we think about our upper body, one way we can divide that
and think about it is push and pull.
(12:41):
We don't want to do all push or all pull.
We're going to get really, really out of balance.
We want to do both. Same thing with your root muscle
is you got to do both. The other thing, by the way,
I'll give you like some specificnumbers here in just a minute
and timing and things like that that you can experiment with if
you would like that. The other thing when you're
programming a workout per SE, we're going to move beyond that
(13:03):
by the way, to a much better, simpler level that's in some
ways more advanced, in some waysmore simple.
But you may have a desire to kind of very specifically think
about it. I know for a lot of guys that
kind of works better, right? So the first thing is you want
to do both and I would have an equal amount of both on the
squeeze side, on the push side or the relaxation side.
If you feel like you're out of balance to one side where you
(13:27):
really have very, very little strength, for example, like it's
very hard for you to even feel any strength in your root
muscle. You, you know, your erections,
your libido is a challenge. You feel it feels weak.
You may want to do actually moreon the, the squeeze side, the
engagement side. If you struggle with stamina and
control, you may want to actually do more on the push
(13:48):
side. So maybe like a 2 to 1.
So if lasting longer is a big concern for you when you're
doing a specific routine like this, you might want to do a 2
to one ratio of the push or the relaxation side versus the
squeeze side. So first do both sides.
Second, think about how much you're doing on both sides.
(14:09):
The next thing is timing. We want to train different
lengths of holes or different lengths of kind of engagement.
So what I mean by that is if we think about the squeeze side,
the kegel side, you want to train very quick, like a one
second on, one second off, one second on, one second off.
We want to train that kind of a squeeze.
You want to train the in the middle, let's say 5 to 10
(14:30):
seconds, and then you want to train the long hold as long as
you can, right? Effectively.
So on both sides, that's the next thing.
In terms of programming a specific workout is training
different lengths of holds, short, medium, long.
So that's kind of the framework,right?
If you're going to do a specifictraining session, you do both
(14:52):
the squeeze side and the push side or the relaxation side.
You different lengths of holds, short, medium, long.
There's a couple different ways to do this in terms of whether
you go squeeze and then you alternate to push.
For example, you do all the setsof short squeeze and then you do
all the sets of short push and then so on.
Or you do all the squeeze stuff and all the push stuff.
(15:15):
There's no right answer. Do whatever feels right to you.
Experiment with both test F round and find out that kind of
thing, right? So for example, if you are
beginning this kind of idea, youmight be something like the
following. If you think about let's say 7
to 10 reps of each one on each side.
So you do 7 to 10 short squeezeswhere you squeeze that muscle,
(15:37):
intentionally relax it, squeeze it, intentionally relax it,
squeeze it, intentionally relax it.
You use 7 to 10 short ones, thenyou do 7 to 10 medium length
ones, then you do a smaller number of longer ones, let's say
3 or 4, right? So that would be a very simple
effective routine that you couldthink about.
If you're going to do kind of a one to one where you're going to
balance the squeeze side and you're going to balance the push
(15:58):
side where they're kind of even and you don't feel like you need
to accentuate one side or the other.
You might do something like one set 7 to 10 reps of quick
squeeze, relax, quick squeeze, relax, and then seven to 10
medium length, 5 to 10 seconds. Hold on the squeeze, relax for
five to 10 seconds, Hold on the squeeze for five to 10 seconds,
(16:19):
relax. And then so on with the longer
ones, right? So that's a very, very basic
routine. Now, if you're more advanced, if
you have a stronger root muscle,you're going to want to do more
than that. It's probably not going to be
enough to really move the needlefor you.
But let's talk about what is really the best way to approach
this whole idea, and that is to move beyond the idea of a
(16:42):
specific sort of training session, like, oh, I'm going to
do kegels in this moment, right?Sure, you can do that.
You can. You can have those individual
periods of the day where you very specifically focus on it.
But the best approach is to justhave an awareness of it
throughout the day and to engageit throughout the day
(17:03):
effectively, right? So there's going to be
sometimes, for example, when you're working out, I had a
recent episode talking about engaging your root muscle when
you're training very specifically.
I'll link that down below, maybea few other episodes about this
kind of topic as well. So the best way is to engage it
throughout the day. So when you're training, you're
engaging that squeeze when you're in the exertion part of
(17:25):
an exercise and then you're intentionally relaxing it.
Couple different ways to approach that.
Again, you can check the check out that episode for more
details. But not just your workout.
When you're going throughout everyday life, you're at work,
you're driving, you're walking, you're at home in your home
life, whatever it is, want to have kind of this baseline
awareness of what is going on with your route.
The same way you might have about your posture.
(17:47):
Think about if you were going toapproach your posture where
you're like, OK, I'm going to really commit to being aware of
my posture throughout the day. I'm going to, if I find myself
having poor posture, I'm going to remind myself and I'm going
to get back in better posture that that's really the approach
to posture. By the way, you can do strength,
any exercises and things like that.
Ultimately it comes down to being consistent moment to
(18:09):
moment throughout the day and day-to-day in that better
posture. Same thing with your root
muscle. You can do those individual
training sessions, but ultimately what is most
effective is to have that awareness throughout the day and
to be training it throughout theday, day-to-day, right?
So if you have that awareness and you also have the intention
and the awareness to focus on strength and build that
(18:31):
strength, what is that going to look like?
Well, it's going to look like throughout the day, you're going
to kind of be aware of that. You're going to realize, oh, am
I kind of holding some tension there?
That's going to be a very, very common thing for most of you
guys. For most of us, that's kind of
the default. We need to get out of that
automatic tension place and comeback to a place of relaxation.
So it's going to look like throughout the day, you're going
to kind of be aware, oh, am I squeezing it?
Am I relaxing it? And then also throughout the
(18:53):
day, when you have the opportunity, you're going to
train that squeeze side, you're going to train the very
intentional relaxation side, train that kind of slight push.
A couple last notes on this before we wrap up this episode 1
on the relaxation side. Massage and massage guns can be
very, very beneficial here. In fact, I would highly, highly
(19:18):
recommend that you incorporate one or both of those things if
you are at all familiar with physical training, working out
in the gym, you're familiar withthe idea that recovery is key,
especially if you're getting older, right?
If you're like 18 years old, you're recovery.
Well, I don't need to recover. Seem to be like, go to
McDonald's and eat a bunch of core paddles.
I'll be fine, right? That doesn't work.
As you get older, As you get older, recovery becomes more and
(19:39):
more important. Recovery when it comes to your
root, your pelvic floor, very, very important.
Rest is one of those things, right?
So you do want to take rest daysjust like you wouldn't want to
do heavy, you know, deadlifts every single day.
You don't want to do heavy squeeze training on your root
every single day without any rest whatsoever.
You want to take some rest days from that kind of stuff.
(19:59):
The other thing? Again, is massage and massage
gun. So this is not an area of our
body that we can stretch out like how you going to stretch
your pelvic floor. You can do things like an
ancestral squat where you're in a very deep squat that will
actually kind of stretch out your pelvic floor to some
degree, but not completely. Ultimately, the best way to
actually get in there and relieve that tension is with
(20:21):
massage. So either manual massages with
your hands or with a massage gun.
I freaking love massage guns. It is become probably my most
important recovery tool, not only for this area of my body,
but for my entire body. Obviously with a massage gun,
you're going to want to be gentle.
There's no need, whether it's manual massage or the massage
(20:41):
gun, there's no need to overdo that kind of stuff.
You can overdo that. It's like you can overdo the
training side, right? But either one of those manual
massage with your hands or massage gun, it will allow you
to really explore and get into and release a lot of that
tension that has built up. And if you have a lot of these
kind of automatic squeezes all the time or if you just know
(21:03):
that you carry some tension, a lot of guys are very well aware
of the fact that they carry excess tension their pelvic
floor. Sometimes it may even be
painful. If that is true for you, massage
those areas, it will help so much.
Make massage a regular practice.So the basic version of that,
use your fingers, use your hands, go on the front kind of
(21:24):
the front of your pubic bone. Like if you think about going
from your lower abdominals in the center as well as out to
your hip bones, go from there down towards your cock and those
areas. And then you want to kind of
think about the other side as well, of course, right?
So your perineum area, all thoseareas kind of around the anus
like where your your hamstring connects up really, really deep,
(21:45):
where your glute connects up really, really deep, those very
deep kind of areas on the underside, very important areas
to do this kind of massage with as well.
So that recovery will make a huge difference in how well this
whole thing goes for you in terms of training this part of
your body, improving it. And especially if you have any
(22:06):
kind of pain or tension down there, you want to focus on the
relaxation side, you want to focus on massage.
Make it a regular thing, just like if you had a really tight
bicep or whatever, you can release that tension, but it's
not going to happen instantly. You're not going to massage for
three minutes and you're going to be like, oh, all the tension
in my pelvic floor is gone. No, what you're going to do
(22:27):
ideally is you're going to incorporate massage into your
daily practice. My favorite way to do that is to
do it when you have your edging practice.
So if you have a mindful edging practice, incorporate massage
into that, right? Because that's when you'll have
the opportunity to do it. So if you're driving, for
example, and you're kind of doing some of this root
training, you're probably not going to be able to like massage
(22:49):
in that moment. That probably wouldn't be safe.
Or if you're doing it in other circumstances, you may just not
be able to do that. If you're having a mindful
edging practice, that is a time when you're going to be able to
get in there and massage that area.
I would also encourage you to doit any other time you think
about it, it's like you're laying there at night before you
go to bed, give it a few minutesof massage.
You'll be amazed at what consistency will do when it
(23:12):
comes to the relaxation, the massage, all that kind of stuff.
You cannot, you can't do some huge amount of work in releasing
tension in one day. What you can do is really just a
small amount, 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, something
like that. A massage of intentionally
releasing that tension. You do that consistently and
you're going to find a whole different level of relaxation.
(23:33):
You're going to find a whole different level of performance
and how that area of your body shows up for you.
You're going to find a whole different level of health.
I can promise you that. Just focusing on, oh, I'm going
to squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze all the time.
That will lead to major issues not only in your sexuality, but
in your overall health. The relaxation is absolutely
key. So let's sum this up right.
(23:55):
The big idea is, I promise you, I have had much experience in my
own life with clients, with friends, doing very, very
intentional training, right using the app.
I've talked about an app before.There's an app called Stamina
St. AM Ena.
If you're on iOS, if you want tofollow an app and have some
timing, you can do that. I've done that.
(24:16):
I've, I've done that a lot. Actually, I use that app a lot.
I've done a lot of intentional training sessions.
I still do at times, but ultimately the next level and it
it's not only the next level, but it's actually the simplest
thing to do. So instead of overcomplicating
it and thinking about, oh, I gotto do this amount and this
amount and figuring out these exact numbers.
(24:37):
Like if that feels good to you and you really want to write
that down and do that, go for it.
But ultimately, if you actually just practice over and over
again, coming back to having a consciousness and an awareness
of what is happening in this part of your body throughout the
day and engaging it in a very intentional way throughout the
day. So any moment, whether it's a
workout or anything else, any moment that you want to tune
(24:59):
into your greatest strength, your greatest kind of like
energetic power, engaging a squeeze, a root squeeze, a kegel
in that area will help you in the moment tune into your
greatest energetic force, right?So if you're doing something
like a deadlift, you're going tofind you're actually going to
have. And if you're doing any other
(25:19):
kind of workout, you're in the exertion part, you're going to
find that you have more strength, more stability in your
whole body if you're engaging that pelvic floor.
In fact, there's things like Pilates especially, there's
other disciplines as well, but Pilates in particular, a huge
part of the most basic Pilates training is actually an engaging
the pelvic floor. It's engaged pretty much all the
(25:40):
time if you're doing a Pilates exercise.
And by the way, side note, I'm not going to go into details.
Pilates is freaking awesome. It was invented by a guy, Joseph
Pilates, 4 men specifically, even though there's a lot of
women that do Pilates kind of gets lumped in with yoga is
actually invented by like a strong man dude for other men.
So Pilates is freaking awesome. So whether you're doing that,
(26:00):
you're going throughout your day, engage that area of your
body in a squeeze kind of actionwhen you want to carry that
strength. Otherwise, come back to over and
over and over again, a place of relaxation, a place of letting
go, letting go of the tension, massaging it, all of those
things, right? I hope that this has helped
bring this idea to some points of clarity for you because it is
(26:22):
a very, very important thing. You might be thinking about any
other aspect of your sexual health and in in fact, other
aspects of just your energetic health.
Your pelvic floor is a key, key part of that.
So training it, having a healthypelvic floor, a healthy root
that is both strong and relaxed,that is under your control, that
you squeeze when you want, that you relax when you want, that
(26:44):
comes back to a place of defaultrelaxation when you're not
intentionally squeezing it. Putting these different pieces
together is a huge, huge win in your life.
I promise you that when you havea stronger route, you will feel
stronger. You will just feel more
energetic when you have a stronger and more relaxed route
(27:04):
and a route that is within your control.
You're going to have much bettersex.
You're going to have better control.
And again, last note before we wrap up, if you are especially
focused on stamina and having control, do not underestimate
the importance of practicing notthe squeeze side, but the other
side, the push, the relaxation and reminder.
(27:25):
I mentioned this earlier, but reminder on the push side,
there's no need to like push really, really hard.
What we really want to do on that side is we want to get very
good at getting into a slight kind of push to come back across
that midpoint of relaxation a little bit to the push side,
because that actually is what helps us come back to the the
place of relaxation. Ultimately we got to kind of,
(27:46):
it's like a tug of rope or righttug, tug of war.
Sometimes words are such an interesting thing.
Brains are an interesting thing the human experiences.
It's like a tug of war, right? So we got to bring things back a
little bit on that push side. That's what we really want to
focus on is actually the controlwhere in any individual moment,
whether it's a random moment in the day, it's a moment you're
(28:07):
particularly aroused because of something that you see or think
about, or you're having sex, you're in your edging practice
or whatever it is. We want to get to the place
where not only is the relaxationkind of our baseline that we
come back to, but we can instantly relax and come back to
that place of relaxation. It will be a total game changer
in your control when you can do that.
So if you want to have better stamina, I would do like a 2 to
(28:30):
one on kind of the push side so you can develop more of that
mind body connection on the pushside.
That's what it really comes downto.
It's not about strength. Again, on the relaxation, it's
really connecting your mind and your body on a regular and
consistent enough basis so that it rests in that place of
relaxation because you've trained it to do so.
And so you can come back to thatplace of relaxation at any
(28:53):
moment that you choose. I would love to hear your
questions, your thoughts, your feedback.
Leave a comment below. If you're on Spotify, Facebook,
wherever you're seeing this, leave a comment.
I would love to hear from you. And again, if you're not already
subscribed to the show, go to Spotify.
That's the best place. Thanks for sharing a few minutes
of your day. Sending you guys all my best.
Have an amazing rest of your day.
(29:13):
I'll talk to you soon, divedeeper@holisticalpha.com.
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