May 13, 2025 • 17 mins
Ep. #768 | Instantly improve sexual flow and control with the incredible power of your awareness.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
On this episode, possibly the single most important part of
our body when it comes to our sexuality and maybe the most
important point to place our awareness on.
So let's talk about it. This is the Holistic Alpha Male
(00:22):
Optimization podcast where we help you unleash your true power
as a man. You guys, welcome back to the
show. I'm Stephen Mathis.
Thanks for being here with me, being part of the tribe.
For those of you guys who are listening on audio, you're going
to have no idea what I'm talkingabout, but it's very, very
windy. You're going to see my beard
(00:44):
blown around like crazy. If you're watching video, thanks
to the magic of microphones and audio editing, hopefully you
won't hear much of the wind. Let's talk about what I believe
all of these years into the journey which is ongoing, the
journey of my own sexuality, of my own exploring all this stuff,
(01:05):
working on all this stuff because that's real for me, you
know, and the journey of thousands of calls with you
guys, hundreds of guys that I'veworked with.
I believe there is one point in our body that is most important
to place our awareness on, to think about, to be aware of how
(01:29):
it functions. It's so critical.
Here's what I'm talking about. First of all, it's lay a little
bit of a foundation. There is, there's a couple of
things. Let's pull from Taoist
teachings. There's a couple of things in
Daoist teachings to be aware of.1 is the microcosmic orbit.
So something I've talked about many times, there is this
(01:52):
circulation of of energy, of chi, of sexual energy, life
force energy that goes through our being.
And in terms of our physical body, it makes this, you know,
this orbit. It's not a circle, certainly
it's not even really an Oval because there are sort of inlets
and there's ways that we can express energy out of that.
(02:16):
But there's this flow of energy.Couple of other things to be
aware of, something that's also talked about in Dao's teachings
is something called the lower Don Tien man.
This is an energy center of the body is where sexual energy is
both cultivated and ultimately where can be stored.
(02:38):
But it can really only be storedthere if it's circulating
through the body. But there's this thing called
the lower Don Tien, right? And I know some of you guys are
more familiar with that than others.
There's another energy center from Dao's teaching.
It's called the Ming men. This is the the second center
that really matters as far as this discussion.
(03:00):
And here's where it comes to this point.
Because along this orbit, this flow of energy, it moves through
different places in the body, right?
So sexual energy is moving through our body.
It's in our cock, it's in your spine, it's moving through head,
it's in your limbs, it's in all these places in the body.
(03:22):
If it's moving through multiple places in the body, that's going
to move through certain centers and it moves through both of
those energy centers. And what lies between those
energy centers is actually the really important, the really
important thing here. Another thing that I've talked
about before is that there is inessence kind of a valve, right?
(03:42):
So we've got this, this center in the lower part of our body or
sexual energy will boob up. And while it can be stored there
long term, only a certain amountof energy can be held there
moment to moment. So in this sort of lowest center
of our body, if we exceed the amount of energy that can be
(04:05):
stored in that particular place or that particular center, it's
going to be released, right? And it's going to be released
one of two different directions,or maybe a combination of both.
One of the directions that it's going to be released is through
ejaculation, right? So if the energy builds up in
(04:25):
that center beyond what it can hold moment to moment, it's
going to be released through ejaculation.
The other way that it can be released is up into the rest of
our body, right? Again, something I've talked
about many times before in many different ways is moving energy
from that sexual center up into the rest of our body, into the
rest of our being so it can transmute into other forms of
(04:49):
energy, so it can serve us in somany ways.
Here's where this point comes into the picture.
And before I tell you exactly where this is and exactly how to
think about it, it's so simple. It's like so simple.
You're going to love how simple it is.
Here's the other amazing thing that it does.
When you place your awareness onthis point, it will instantly
(05:15):
give you better control. Instantly, literally instantly.
I guarantee that I will give youa full refund on the price of
$0.00 that you've paid for this episode.
If it doesn't, it will instantlydo that.
You know not. It might not take you from 2
seconds to four hours stamina wise, but it will instantly
(05:37):
improve it because we're focus goes, energy flows where focus
goes, energy flows where awareness goes, energy flows.
Same thing, two different ways of saying it, right?
So where we place our awareness is where energy will go.
(05:58):
So if we're talking about and thinking about and working on
the flow of, of energy, of sexual energy in our body, where
our awareness is, is a very, very important thing.
It's a very, very impactful thing.
So something that you might havetried or maybe heard about or
you know, I don't know, seen themovie or who knows, is when
(06:20):
you're trying to have better control, you're getting to sort
of, you know, your arousal is getting higher and you're, and
you're wanting to kind of back off and ease and have better
control. As you move through that moment,
you might have thought about theidea of like, oh, think about
something else, think about baseball or whatever, right?
Well, where your focus goes, your energy flows.
(06:42):
How you going to send energy to baseball while you're having
sex? I, I don't know why would you
want to do that? I had no idea.
Instead, let's place our awareness in that moment,
especially also in our edging practice, also throughout the
day in various ways. Let's place it on the best place
(07:03):
to actually put that focus wherewe want to send the energy,
which brings me to that point. So we have the lower Don TN,
which is kind of it's like if you go a couple inches below
your navel from Daoist teachings, if you go a couple
inches below your belly button, sort of into the center of your
body, that's where the lower dantian is.
And then there's this other center called the Ming men and
(07:26):
that's actually in your spine. It's like at the base of your
spine. So in essence, these two centers
1 is kind of in the, the tissue of our body, the lower dantian.
And then this Ming men is actually in our spine.
It's kind of sits really more inthe bone structure of our body.
And in between there's somethingthat's truly, truly magic,
(07:48):
magical, and that is the sacrum.So the sacrum is this bone, it's
kind of shaped like a triangle. It sits at the the end of the
lumbar spine. And one of the reasons that the
sacrum is really, really magicalis it's really the structural
bone connection between our skeleton and the soft tissue of
(08:12):
our sexual body. So connecting to the sacrum,
there's a few muscles that actually are the core of the
pelvic floor. In fact, there's one muscle that
in essence kind of connects almost from the sacrum all the
way to the base of the penis andwraps around the base of the
penis. So there's a few muscles to be
(08:32):
aware of, one of the pubococcygeus, another is the
iliococcigius, and then the third is the bulbospongiosis.
So the bulbospongiosis actually wraps around the base of the
penis. And these three muscles, just
those 3, go all the way from thebase of the penis to the to the
sacrum, and they actually connect to the sacrum.
(08:55):
So there's this connection pointwhere muscle connects to bone,
and it's also this gateway that sits between these two energy
centers. And in a lot of ways, the sacrum
is really the gateway between that lower sexual center that
has a limited moment to moment capacity and the rest of our
(09:17):
being, the rest of our body. In between those two is the
sacrum. That's really the connection
point. So what I'd like you to try,
well, I would suggest that you try because it will, will do
very, very good things is place your awareness on that area.
Now it's hone in a little bit more.
(09:37):
If you feel the, the points of your hips on your lower back,
right, the the Crest of your hipbones and you go right in the
middle between those two things,there's kind of a flat Bony
area, right? That's your sacrum.
So when you're edging, are you having sex or both?
(09:59):
If you and when you place your awareness on your sacrum, where
where focus goes, energy flows, where focus goes, energy flows.
So if you place your awareness, your focus on your sacrum,
what's going to happen to energy?
It's going to flow to that spot.Well, what is that spot?
That spot is the gateway betweenour limited moment to moment,
(10:24):
very limited in so many ways, sexual center.
Yes, our sexual energy can be stored there moment to moment.
It has a limited kind of capacity.
The gateway between that and ourfull limitless being that can
hold and benefit from and feel pleasure through and transmute
(10:45):
unlimited amounts of energy. The gateway between that
limitless being that we are and the limited sexual center, the
gateway is the sacrum really. Once energy moves through that
point, it moves through the sacrum.
It goes into that second energy center from Daoist teachings, at
(11:06):
least second of these two, the Ming men, that lies in the
spine, right? So moves from soft tissue into
the spine in essence. And when we talk about things
like energy, you know, it can seem like kind of a, a woo woo
out there kind of concept. In some ways it is.
But it is also very, very real literal energy that can be
(11:28):
measured, electrical energy thatcan be measured.
Our ability to measure this kindof complex energy is improving
day by day, year by year. There's incredible things that
are already being done in in measuring the energy flow in the
energy centers of the body in more advanced ways.
(11:49):
So there is a literally energy that is moving along a path and
it's moving along that path fromyour perineum, from your cock,
from your balls, from that wholesexual center kind of area.
It's moving along a path from there up your spine and up into
the rest of your body to your brain, to your heart, to the
rest of your being. Ideally, right, Ideally we move
(12:10):
as much energy along that path as possible.
The gateway to that is the sacrum.
So again, next time when you're in your edging practice, when
you're having sex, bring your awareness to your sacrum.
There's a couple of things that are going to happen when you do
that. And by the way, let's talk about
two aspects of why this is so crucial from a stamina
(12:32):
standpoint, because the energy part is 1 aspect of that, right?
So when you focus on the sacrum,it's going to draw energy out of
that limited center. It's going to draw it through
that gateway into the limitless part of you.
But that's not it. Because those muscles that
connect on the sacrum, when you place your awareness on the
(12:55):
sacrum, it gives you better control.
It gives you better control of those muscles, right?
Because part of this journey andpart of this process of building
better stamina, of getting so much more out of this part of
our body, out of our life is actually a mind body connection.
(13:15):
It's connecting our, our mind and our conscious control and
our awareness to things and in ways that it hasn't really been
connected before in deeper ways and more powerful ways.
So when we place our awareness on the sacrum, that's where all
of those muscles of the pelvic floor kind of come to a point
(13:37):
and they have an attachment point.
Literally they, some of those muscles of the pelvic floor
attach to the sacrum. That's where they connect to the
to the skeleton. So if we're going to control
those muscles, it actually can be incredibly powerful to focus
on that connection point. And that's exactly what I found.
That's it. I think what you'll find as well
(13:58):
is that actually when you're wanting to come to a place of
relaxation or you're thinking about controlling your pelvic
floor, doing Kegel, doing reverse kegel, doing your root
squeeze, doing your root push. However we want to think about
it, if we're wanting to control those muscles, the most
effective point to focus on is the sacrum.
That's the connection point. Try it, try it.
(14:21):
Maybe you'll find this, maybe you won't.
You know, we all get our own unique journey in this human
body. I think you'll find this to be a
very powerful place to focus on.It is truly a gateway.
Just think about it. If we just think in the most
basic terms, where does the softtissue of our sexual body
(14:45):
connect to the skeleton of our human body?
It's the sacrum. It's pretty important point,
right? It wouldn't make sense that it's
a pretty important point. And I think the beautiful thing
about this, the most beautiful thing about this is it so
simple. Just try it next time you're in
your edging practice, bring yourawareness to that point when you
(15:06):
when your arousal climbs and youstart to kind of reach that
point or maybe well before that.But certainly if you're trying
to really kind of rein it in andget better control, instead of
thinking about all consciously trying to relax all these
muscles or any of those other kind of more complex thoughts,
simply very simply bring your awareness to your sacrum.
(15:29):
Try that. I would love to hear from you
how this works for you. I have a feeling it's going to
be awesome. You know, simplicity is such a
wonderful thing. I think one of the biggest
lessons that I've learned is theyears of my life have gone on
and as I've worked on different areas, whether it's
communication, it's relationships, it's being a
(15:51):
podcaster, it's whatever it is, simplicity, boiling complex
things down to simple action items, to simple points of
focus, to simple steps or processes.
There's such magic in that, and I promise you there is magic in
(16:12):
the simplicity of this point. Be aware of it.
Bring your awareness back to it.And I think what very well may
happen, try this in your next edging session, bring your
awareness to that point, and what you very well might find is
that all of a sudden you have better control almost instantly
(16:33):
with no effort whatsoever. No effort.
It didn't require effort. You merely shifted your focus.
And when you shifted your focus,you shifted your energy because
we're focus goes energy flows. And when you take advantage of
that and you use that fact in a,in an intentional way, Oh my
(16:55):
goodness, such beautiful things that can happen.
I'm sending you guys good vibes,vibes of power.
Keep stacking bricks in your life.
We'll talk to you soon.
On this episode, possibly the single most important part of
our body when it comes to our sexuality and maybe the most
important point to place our awareness on.
So let's talk about it. This is the Holistic Alpha Male
(00:22):
Optimization podcast where we help you unleash your true power
as a man. You guys, welcome back to the
show. I'm Stephen Mathis.
Thanks for being here with me, being part of the tribe.
For those of you guys who are listening on audio, you're going
to have no idea what I'm talkingabout, but it's very, very
windy. You're going to see my beard
(00:44):
blown around like crazy. If you're watching video, thanks
to the magic of microphones and audio editing, hopefully you
won't hear much of the wind. Let's talk about what I believe
all of these years into the journey which is ongoing, the
journey of my own sexuality, of my own exploring all this stuff,
(01:05):
working on all this stuff because that's real for me, you
know, and the journey of thousands of calls with you
guys, hundreds of guys that I'veworked with.
I believe there is one point in our body that is most important
to place our awareness on, to think about, to be aware of how
(01:29):
it functions. It's so critical.
Here's what I'm talking about. First of all, it's lay a little
bit of a foundation. There is, there's a couple of
things. Let's pull from Taoist
teachings. There's a couple of things in
Daoist teachings to be aware of.1 is the microcosmic orbit.
So something I've talked about many times, there is this
(01:52):
circulation of of energy, of chi, of sexual energy, life
force energy that goes through our being.
And in terms of our physical body, it makes this, you know,
this orbit. It's not a circle, certainly
it's not even really an Oval because there are sort of inlets
and there's ways that we can express energy out of that.
(02:16):
But there's this flow of energy.Couple of other things to be
aware of, something that's also talked about in Dao's teachings
is something called the lower Don Tien man.
This is an energy center of the body is where sexual energy is
both cultivated and ultimately where can be stored.
(02:38):
But it can really only be storedthere if it's circulating
through the body. But there's this thing called
the lower Don Tien, right? And I know some of you guys are
more familiar with that than others.
There's another energy center from Dao's teaching.
It's called the Ming men. This is the the second center
that really matters as far as this discussion.
(03:00):
And here's where it comes to this point.
Because along this orbit, this flow of energy, it moves through
different places in the body, right?
So sexual energy is moving through our body.
It's in our cock, it's in your spine, it's moving through head,
it's in your limbs, it's in all these places in the body.
(03:22):
If it's moving through multiple places in the body, that's going
to move through certain centers and it moves through both of
those energy centers. And what lies between those
energy centers is actually the really important, the really
important thing here. Another thing that I've talked
about before is that there is inessence kind of a valve, right?
(03:42):
So we've got this, this center in the lower part of our body or
sexual energy will boob up. And while it can be stored there
long term, only a certain amountof energy can be held there
moment to moment. So in this sort of lowest center
of our body, if we exceed the amount of energy that can be
(04:05):
stored in that particular place or that particular center, it's
going to be released, right? And it's going to be released
one of two different directions,or maybe a combination of both.
One of the directions that it's going to be released is through
ejaculation, right? So if the energy builds up in
(04:25):
that center beyond what it can hold moment to moment, it's
going to be released through ejaculation.
The other way that it can be released is up into the rest of
our body, right? Again, something I've talked
about many times before in many different ways is moving energy
from that sexual center up into the rest of our body, into the
rest of our being so it can transmute into other forms of
(04:49):
energy, so it can serve us in somany ways.
Here's where this point comes into the picture.
And before I tell you exactly where this is and exactly how to
think about it, it's so simple. It's like so simple.
You're going to love how simple it is.
Here's the other amazing thing that it does.
When you place your awareness onthis point, it will instantly
(05:15):
give you better control. Instantly, literally instantly.
I guarantee that I will give youa full refund on the price of
$0.00 that you've paid for this episode.
If it doesn't, it will instantlydo that.
You know not. It might not take you from 2
seconds to four hours stamina wise, but it will instantly
(05:37):
improve it because we're focus goes, energy flows where focus
goes, energy flows where awareness goes, energy flows.
Same thing, two different ways of saying it, right?
So where we place our awareness is where energy will go.
(05:58):
So if we're talking about and thinking about and working on
the flow of, of energy, of sexual energy in our body, where
our awareness is, is a very, very important thing.
It's a very, very impactful thing.
So something that you might havetried or maybe heard about or
you know, I don't know, seen themovie or who knows, is when
(06:20):
you're trying to have better control, you're getting to sort
of, you know, your arousal is getting higher and you're, and
you're wanting to kind of back off and ease and have better
control. As you move through that moment,
you might have thought about theidea of like, oh, think about
something else, think about baseball or whatever, right?
Well, where your focus goes, your energy flows.
(06:42):
How you going to send energy to baseball while you're having
sex? I, I don't know why would you
want to do that? I had no idea.
Instead, let's place our awareness in that moment,
especially also in our edging practice, also throughout the
day in various ways. Let's place it on the best place
(07:03):
to actually put that focus wherewe want to send the energy,
which brings me to that point. So we have the lower Don TN,
which is kind of it's like if you go a couple inches below
your navel from Daoist teachings, if you go a couple
inches below your belly button, sort of into the center of your
body, that's where the lower dantian is.
And then there's this other center called the Ming men and
(07:26):
that's actually in your spine. It's like at the base of your
spine. So in essence, these two centers
1 is kind of in the, the tissue of our body, the lower dantian.
And then this Ming men is actually in our spine.
It's kind of sits really more inthe bone structure of our body.
And in between there's somethingthat's truly, truly magic,
(07:48):
magical, and that is the sacrum.So the sacrum is this bone, it's
kind of shaped like a triangle. It sits at the the end of the
lumbar spine. And one of the reasons that the
sacrum is really, really magicalis it's really the structural
bone connection between our skeleton and the soft tissue of
(08:12):
our sexual body. So connecting to the sacrum,
there's a few muscles that actually are the core of the
pelvic floor. In fact, there's one muscle that
in essence kind of connects almost from the sacrum all the
way to the base of the penis andwraps around the base of the
penis. So there's a few muscles to be
(08:32):
aware of, one of the pubococcygeus, another is the
iliococcigius, and then the third is the bulbospongiosis.
So the bulbospongiosis actually wraps around the base of the
penis. And these three muscles, just
those 3, go all the way from thebase of the penis to the to the
sacrum, and they actually connect to the sacrum.
(08:55):
So there's this connection pointwhere muscle connects to bone,
and it's also this gateway that sits between these two energy
centers. And in a lot of ways, the sacrum
is really the gateway between that lower sexual center that
has a limited moment to moment capacity and the rest of our
(09:17):
being, the rest of our body. In between those two is the
sacrum. That's really the connection
point. So what I'd like you to try,
well, I would suggest that you try because it will, will do
very, very good things is place your awareness on that area.
Now it's hone in a little bit more.
(09:37):
If you feel the, the points of your hips on your lower back,
right, the the Crest of your hipbones and you go right in the
middle between those two things,there's kind of a flat Bony
area, right? That's your sacrum.
So when you're edging, are you having sex or both?
(09:59):
If you and when you place your awareness on your sacrum, where
where focus goes, energy flows, where focus goes, energy flows.
So if you place your awareness, your focus on your sacrum,
what's going to happen to energy?
It's going to flow to that spot.Well, what is that spot?
That spot is the gateway betweenour limited moment to moment,
(10:24):
very limited in so many ways, sexual center.
Yes, our sexual energy can be stored there moment to moment.
It has a limited kind of capacity.
The gateway between that and ourfull limitless being that can
hold and benefit from and feel pleasure through and transmute
(10:45):
unlimited amounts of energy. The gateway between that
limitless being that we are and the limited sexual center, the
gateway is the sacrum really. Once energy moves through that
point, it moves through the sacrum.
It goes into that second energy center from Daoist teachings, at
(11:06):
least second of these two, the Ming men, that lies in the
spine, right? So moves from soft tissue into
the spine in essence. And when we talk about things
like energy, you know, it can seem like kind of a, a woo woo
out there kind of concept. In some ways it is.
But it is also very, very real literal energy that can be
(11:28):
measured, electrical energy thatcan be measured.
Our ability to measure this kindof complex energy is improving
day by day, year by year. There's incredible things that
are already being done in in measuring the energy flow in the
energy centers of the body in more advanced ways.
(11:49):
So there is a literally energy that is moving along a path and
it's moving along that path fromyour perineum, from your cock,
from your balls, from that wholesexual center kind of area.
It's moving along a path from there up your spine and up into
the rest of your body to your brain, to your heart, to the
rest of your being. Ideally, right, Ideally we move
(12:10):
as much energy along that path as possible.
The gateway to that is the sacrum.
So again, next time when you're in your edging practice, when
you're having sex, bring your awareness to your sacrum.
There's a couple of things that are going to happen when you do
that. And by the way, let's talk about
two aspects of why this is so crucial from a stamina
(12:32):
standpoint, because the energy part is 1 aspect of that, right?
So when you focus on the sacrum,it's going to draw energy out of
that limited center. It's going to draw it through
that gateway into the limitless part of you.
But that's not it. Because those muscles that
connect on the sacrum, when you place your awareness on the
(12:55):
sacrum, it gives you better control.
It gives you better control of those muscles, right?
Because part of this journey andpart of this process of building
better stamina, of getting so much more out of this part of
our body, out of our life is actually a mind body connection.
(13:15):
It's connecting our, our mind and our conscious control and
our awareness to things and in ways that it hasn't really been
connected before in deeper ways and more powerful ways.
So when we place our awareness on the sacrum, that's where all
of those muscles of the pelvic floor kind of come to a point
(13:37):
and they have an attachment point.
Literally they, some of those muscles of the pelvic floor
attach to the sacrum. That's where they connect to the
to the skeleton. So if we're going to control
those muscles, it actually can be incredibly powerful to focus
on that connection point. And that's exactly what I found.
That's it. I think what you'll find as well
(13:58):
is that actually when you're wanting to come to a place of
relaxation or you're thinking about controlling your pelvic
floor, doing Kegel, doing reverse kegel, doing your root
squeeze, doing your root push. However we want to think about
it, if we're wanting to control those muscles, the most
effective point to focus on is the sacrum.
That's the connection point. Try it, try it.
(14:21):
Maybe you'll find this, maybe you won't.
You know, we all get our own unique journey in this human
body. I think you'll find this to be a
very powerful place to focus on.It is truly a gateway.
Just think about it. If we just think in the most
basic terms, where does the softtissue of our sexual body
(14:45):
connect to the skeleton of our human body?
It's the sacrum. It's pretty important point,
right? It wouldn't make sense that it's
a pretty important point. And I think the beautiful thing
about this, the most beautiful thing about this is it so
simple. Just try it next time you're in
your edging practice, bring yourawareness to that point when you
(15:06):
when your arousal climbs and youstart to kind of reach that
point or maybe well before that.But certainly if you're trying
to really kind of rein it in andget better control, instead of
thinking about all consciously trying to relax all these
muscles or any of those other kind of more complex thoughts,
simply very simply bring your awareness to your sacrum.
(15:29):
Try that. I would love to hear from you
how this works for you. I have a feeling it's going to
be awesome. You know, simplicity is such a
wonderful thing. I think one of the biggest
lessons that I've learned is theyears of my life have gone on
and as I've worked on different areas, whether it's
communication, it's relationships, it's being a
(15:51):
podcaster, it's whatever it is, simplicity, boiling complex
things down to simple action items, to simple points of
focus, to simple steps or processes.
There's such magic in that, and I promise you there is magic in
(16:12):
the simplicity of this point. Be aware of it.
Bring your awareness back to it.And I think what very well may
happen, try this in your next edging session, bring your
awareness to that point, and what you very well might find is
that all of a sudden you have better control almost instantly
(16:33):
with no effort whatsoever. No effort.
It didn't require effort. You merely shifted your focus.
And when you shifted your focus,you shifted your energy because
we're focus goes energy flows. And when you take advantage of
that and you use that fact in a,in an intentional way, Oh my
(16:55):
goodness, such beautiful things that can happen.
I'm sending you guys good vibes,vibes of power.
Keep stacking bricks in your life.
We'll talk to you soon.
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