July 23, 2025 • 14 mins
Ep. #776 | Questions hold tremendous power to bring new, expansive possibilities into our being—and our sex life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
One of my favorite tools for expansion, for healing, for
transforming ourselves, or any situation, for showing up any
particular situation or any moment, is questions.
Language is so powerful. Questions are incredibly
powerful because a question is like a door, right?
When we ask a question, we're opening a door and behind that
(00:23):
door, all these possibilities and the questions that we ask
determine the doors that we openand thus the possibilities that
we expose ourselves to and that we can potentially benefit from.
There is one question that when it comes to our sexual life, our
well-being, how we show up in and experience that part of our
life. There's one question that you
(00:44):
can count on over and over and over again, 100% of the time you
can count on this to to guide you, right?
Let's talk about that question. Some examples how you can very
simply really put it into practice in your life.
All right, so optimizing our sexual well-being as men has all
(01:05):
these different layers, all these different situations,
right? It's everything from how do you
interact with the desire or lustor energy that comes up within
you? How do you interact with the
various sexual things out in theworld, right, like the online
things. How do you interact with the
people that you interact with ina sexual way?
There's all these different layers and potentialities and
(01:27):
really limitless things, right? So many different unique
circumstances. There's one question that you
can ask over and over again. And if you get in the habit of
asking this question and you kind of program it in so that it
becomes a little more automatic,it will guide you.
It will guide you in every single one of those situations.
(01:47):
And that question is, what is this moment asking of me?
What is this moment asking of me?
Let's talk about why it's so powerful.
A few examples. The first part about why this is
a really powerful question is itgives you a little bit of
distance, right? When you ask what is this moment
asking of me? You're separating yourself from
(02:09):
the moment momentarily so that you can view it and and witness
it and be aware of it instead ofbeing swept up in it.
If you practice meditation, you know that as a a concept and a
practice. And if you don't, you've
probably experienced how when you're real swept up in
something, it's really hard to get perspective on it.
(02:30):
It's really hard to actually show up to that situation in the
best way. What helps is actually to get a
little bit of distance so that we can observe it right?
And when we ask what is this moment asking of me, we're
defining this moment as a thing,right?
And the moment, it is everything.
It's all-encompassing. This moment is all-encompassing.
(02:51):
It's not just me, it's not just you, it's not just whoever
you're interacting with, it's everything, right?
So you're asking what is this moment in its entirety asking of
me as a being, asking of me as aman.
And when you ask yourself this question, especially when you
ask it as a habit, right, so that it gets kind of automatic,
(03:12):
it starts to pop up. Because like with a lot of these
things, it's not something that's going to really benefit
you very much, at least if you don't ever really think about
it. But then you hope that in some
real important situation, you'regoing to be able to suddenly
come up with, oh, yeah, that wasthe question I was supposed to
ask. That's not how it works.
How it works is when we do it asa habit and we start to ask
(03:33):
ourselves this question in all kinds of situations, in other
situations that are not sexual at all, in minor situations, in
potentially meaningless situation.
I mean, there's no meaningless moment.
Every moment is full of limitless possibilities and
beauty and joy. But these kind of, you know,
everyday moments, we can ask ourselves this question, what is
this moment asking me? We can ask ourselves this
(03:54):
question in those kind of moments too.
And when we make this a habit, it'll start to automatically pop
up so that when something is happening, if that's the
question that kind of pops up inyour mind, right?
Because we do have kind of automatic questions, right?
Have you ever felt that or experienced that where something
happens in life and it's like you feel this question kind of
(04:15):
pop up in your mind and maybe you even recognize that it's not
a a positive question or it's not a question that's going to
help you. Or maybe you recognize that it's
a question that always seems to pop up over and over again in
particular situations. And it might be something kind
of negative that that really drags you down.
Oh, why am I? Why am I so weak?
You know, like something happensin life and you just find
(04:37):
yourself over and over again kind of that question running
through your mind. Why am I so weak?
Well, is that a door you want toopen?
You do you want to open the doorto find out all the
possibilities for why you can beweak?
No, right. We have these automatic
questions. When we can reprogram our
automatic questions with intentional questions, it's a
game changer. It's a game changer.
(04:58):
Let's talk about a few situations when it comes to the
sexual piece and asking this question.
So it might be that you're goingabout your day, you're sitting
at work or whatever, and you feel some kind of lust come up,
right? Maybe it's a very kind of
habitual energy pattern where you feel a stress come up and
your stress response is that youwant to release that through
(05:19):
sexuality. Or maybe it's something very
sexually specific. It's some kind of desire.
You see something, you have thatmoment of desire or energy come
up, right? You can ask yourself, what is
this moment asking of me? And immediately it gives you a
little bit of space and it puts you in a place of intention.
That's the other big thing that that question does right?
(05:40):
It separates you so you can observe and be aware and then it
automatically because of the door that you opened behind that
door is intention. What is this moment asking of
me? You're like wonder what is this
asking of me to show up? How am I supposed to show up in
this particular situation? How is the highest vibration
(06:01):
version of me going to show up in this situation?
You don't even need to get into those sort of specifics, just
simply asking, what is this moment asking of me?
You're all of a sudden you're going to start responding in
different ways. You're going to start having
different thoughts and emotions come up.
Because behind that door of any question is potential real world
(06:22):
solutions. It's potential communication.
It's it's words that might come up or ideas or perspectives.
It's emotions. It's, it's all the things behind
the door, right? So you open that door and all
those possibilities come up. So when you ask that question,
you get some space and then you set that place of intention.
Now you're acting from a place of intention, which is a place
(06:43):
of power. That's the place of a flow of
presence. That's where you are your best
self. So maybe that's the situation
that comes up and you feel that lust, you feel that desire and
you ask yourself, what is this moment asking me?
Maybe you're in an interaction with your spouse or your
partner, and maybe it's a non sexual interaction.
Let's start with that, right? Because if you're in a
(07:04):
relationship, first of all, by the way, every moment, every
moment is a sexual moment. In reality, actually as a human
being, every moment is a, is a sexual moment in some ways,
because that's our, our creativeforce, That's our life force,
right? But especially if you're in a
relationship, sex is not just about what happens when you're
like actually having sex. It's everything.
It's every moment. So you have some kind of
(07:26):
interaction happen and you ask that question because you've
programmed it in through habit, through repetition, that
question comes up, what is this moment asking me?
And now you've kind of maybe it's maybe it's a situation
that's kind of emotional in someway.
Now you get a little bit of distance from that emotion.
Now you're going to automatically show up with a
little more intention, a little bit higher vibration version of
(07:47):
yourself. And by the way, that little bit
is enough. You don't have to.
None of this is about these likegiant leaps instantly in how we
show up. It like a little bit more often
asking this question a little bit more often, showing up with
intention a little bit more often, getting a little bit of
space and connecting in a highervibration way.
(08:08):
Sex, specifically, you're havingsex with your partner and maybe
it's a a moment when you're likereally into it and you had a
really good day and you're really fired up and your beetle
is really high and your partner not so much, right?
Maybe you've experienced that. How are you going to show up in
that moment? Are you going to be disappointed
(08:31):
and it's going to kind of bum you out?
Or maybe you're going to be kindof frustrated, even you have a
little bit of kind of anger thatthat that shows up because your
partner's not in the same place that you're in, right?
Or maybe you're going to get kind of sad or maybe you're
going to kind of force you to push your way through that and
not really pay attention. None of those are ideal
outcomes, right? The ideal outcome from that
(08:52):
situation will come from in thatmoment, as soon as you have that
awareness. Oh, OK.
She's totally not in the same space that I'm in, in this
moment. And you ask yourself that
question. What is this moment asking of
me? You're going to respond in a
much better way. So it is simple.
It is incredibly powerful and itapplies to every single
(09:14):
situation. So it might be you're going
about your day, you're driving from, you know, you're on your
lunch break, you like you left work and you're driving to lunch
and you have this little reminder, oh, I haven't done
kegels. I haven't done root training.
Man, I got to get back on that. What is this moment asking me?
Well, maybe it's asking that while you drive, you knock out
(09:35):
some reps of that, right? Asking yourself this question
will continually take you from wherever the moment is to a door
that has positive possibilities.There are no negative
possibilities behind that door. There are shades of positive
(09:55):
possibilities because they're all shades of showing up with
intention and they're all shadesof getting a little bit of
distance from the situation and trusting your awareness and
being a little more objective and kind of looped into that
question automatically. What is this moment asking of
me? Well, you're not going to think,
(10:15):
what is this moment asking of mymost toxic self, right?
You're going to automatically kind of, there's that little
part of you, not even the conscious part.
It's not the like the words are not going to go through your
brain, but what's going to be automatically part of that
question is what is this moment asking of my highest vibration
self? That's like automatically going
(10:37):
to be part of that. And I'll leave you with that.
By the way, thank you for sharing a few minutes with me.
What I have found to be invariably true is that the
simplest things when it comes toare being are what really make
the difference, right? It's not, it's not big giant
(10:59):
gestures or big declarations within ourselves.
It's like the little things overand over again, you know, and
it's like a little bit crack that door open to a new
possibility. And eventually, because really
what we're doing in life is moment to moment, we're
continually making our way from door to door, opening one door,
(11:20):
opening the next door and certain possibilities behind
each door and behind each door lies more doors, right?
We're continually making our wayfrom door to door.
And if we'll just like pause forbrief moment to ask ourself a
good question, to ask ourselves a powerful question like what is
(11:40):
this moment asking of me? You're automatically going to
start choosing better doors. It's automatic.
That's the most beautiful thing.It's like you don't have to try
harder if you just program this in so that it's part of your
thought process. You don't have to try harder to
show up better in that situationwhen you're like desperately
(12:01):
wanting to connect with your wife and your erection just like
fails and you're, you have shameand guilt and frustration and
sadness and all these other things.
You don't have to try hard in that moment to fix it or figure
it out. If you just are in the habit of
asking yourself a really positive question, like what is
(12:23):
this moment asking me? Because then that's going to
happen. That potential frustrating,
frustrating, you know, derailingkind of thing is going to
happen. And then you're going to ask
yourself in that moment, what isthis moment asking of me?
And maybe you get an answer like, oh, well, it's asking for
me to find ways to connect with my partner in a little different
(12:43):
way, right? They don't have to penetrate to
have this deep connection. Maybe in this moment, if I shift
to the priority being not a specific expectation, but rather
the priority being feeling a certain way and connecting in
the deepest possible way. Now you've opened your door to
(13:07):
you've opened that door to new possibilities, right?
Because in that moment, if your expectation and your only door
that you're open to, your only possibility that you're open to
is I want to have that penetrative sex, I want to be
inside of my partner, right? It's valid.
It's a beautiful and powerful thing.
But if that's your only possibility and then that's not
working, where does that leave you, right.
(13:28):
If you ask yourself a question now, you open the door, you have
new possibilities. You're going to probably find
some ways to connect in that moment.
Maybe you're going to find ways of dealing with that moment in a
little better way where you don't get so upset about it,
where you realize that you're going to wake up tomorrow and
you're going to have a new chance to to try things and F
around and find out and expand and improve and fix that
(13:50):
situation and address those things.
And you're going to have opportunities to connect with
your partner in deeper, varied ways that maybe you wouldn't
have ever found your way to if that situation didn't happen.
What a beautiful thing it is to grow and expand.
Thanks for including me and partof your journey here on this
earth. Sending you all my best vibes.
(14:12):
As always, have an amazing rest of your day.
We'll talk to you soon.
One of my favorite tools for expansion, for healing, for
transforming ourselves, or any situation, for showing up any
particular situation or any moment, is questions.
Language is so powerful. Questions are incredibly
powerful because a question is like a door, right?
When we ask a question, we're opening a door and behind that
(00:23):
door, all these possibilities and the questions that we ask
determine the doors that we openand thus the possibilities that
we expose ourselves to and that we can potentially benefit from.
There is one question that when it comes to our sexual life, our
well-being, how we show up in and experience that part of our
life. There's one question that you
(00:44):
can count on over and over and over again, 100% of the time you
can count on this to to guide you, right?
Let's talk about that question. Some examples how you can very
simply really put it into practice in your life.
All right, so optimizing our sexual well-being as men has all
(01:05):
these different layers, all these different situations,
right? It's everything from how do you
interact with the desire or lustor energy that comes up within
you? How do you interact with the
various sexual things out in theworld, right, like the online
things. How do you interact with the
people that you interact with ina sexual way?
There's all these different layers and potentialities and
(01:27):
really limitless things, right? So many different unique
circumstances. There's one question that you
can ask over and over again. And if you get in the habit of
asking this question and you kind of program it in so that it
becomes a little more automatic,it will guide you.
It will guide you in every single one of those situations.
(01:47):
And that question is, what is this moment asking of me?
What is this moment asking of me?
Let's talk about why it's so powerful.
A few examples. The first part about why this is
a really powerful question is itgives you a little bit of
distance, right? When you ask what is this moment
asking of me? You're separating yourself from
(02:09):
the moment momentarily so that you can view it and and witness
it and be aware of it instead ofbeing swept up in it.
If you practice meditation, you know that as a a concept and a
practice. And if you don't, you've
probably experienced how when you're real swept up in
something, it's really hard to get perspective on it.
(02:30):
It's really hard to actually show up to that situation in the
best way. What helps is actually to get a
little bit of distance so that we can observe it right?
And when we ask what is this moment asking of me, we're
defining this moment as a thing,right?
And the moment, it is everything.
It's all-encompassing. This moment is all-encompassing.
(02:51):
It's not just me, it's not just you, it's not just whoever
you're interacting with, it's everything, right?
So you're asking what is this moment in its entirety asking of
me as a being, asking of me as aman.
And when you ask yourself this question, especially when you
ask it as a habit, right, so that it gets kind of automatic,
(03:12):
it starts to pop up. Because like with a lot of these
things, it's not something that's going to really benefit
you very much, at least if you don't ever really think about
it. But then you hope that in some
real important situation, you'regoing to be able to suddenly
come up with, oh, yeah, that wasthe question I was supposed to
ask. That's not how it works.
How it works is when we do it asa habit and we start to ask
(03:33):
ourselves this question in all kinds of situations, in other
situations that are not sexual at all, in minor situations, in
potentially meaningless situation.
I mean, there's no meaningless moment.
Every moment is full of limitless possibilities and
beauty and joy. But these kind of, you know,
everyday moments, we can ask ourselves this question, what is
this moment asking me? We can ask ourselves this
(03:54):
question in those kind of moments too.
And when we make this a habit, it'll start to automatically pop
up so that when something is happening, if that's the
question that kind of pops up inyour mind, right?
Because we do have kind of automatic questions, right?
Have you ever felt that or experienced that where something
happens in life and it's like you feel this question kind of
(04:15):
pop up in your mind and maybe you even recognize that it's not
a a positive question or it's not a question that's going to
help you. Or maybe you recognize that it's
a question that always seems to pop up over and over again in
particular situations. And it might be something kind
of negative that that really drags you down.
Oh, why am I? Why am I so weak?
You know, like something happensin life and you just find
(04:37):
yourself over and over again kind of that question running
through your mind. Why am I so weak?
Well, is that a door you want toopen?
You do you want to open the doorto find out all the
possibilities for why you can beweak?
No, right. We have these automatic
questions. When we can reprogram our
automatic questions with intentional questions, it's a
game changer. It's a game changer.
(04:58):
Let's talk about a few situations when it comes to the
sexual piece and asking this question.
So it might be that you're goingabout your day, you're sitting
at work or whatever, and you feel some kind of lust come up,
right? Maybe it's a very kind of
habitual energy pattern where you feel a stress come up and
your stress response is that youwant to release that through
(05:19):
sexuality. Or maybe it's something very
sexually specific. It's some kind of desire.
You see something, you have thatmoment of desire or energy come
up, right? You can ask yourself, what is
this moment asking of me? And immediately it gives you a
little bit of space and it puts you in a place of intention.
That's the other big thing that that question does right?
(05:40):
It separates you so you can observe and be aware and then it
automatically because of the door that you opened behind that
door is intention. What is this moment asking of
me? You're like wonder what is this
asking of me to show up? How am I supposed to show up in
this particular situation? How is the highest vibration
(06:01):
version of me going to show up in this situation?
You don't even need to get into those sort of specifics, just
simply asking, what is this moment asking of me?
You're all of a sudden you're going to start responding in
different ways. You're going to start having
different thoughts and emotions come up.
Because behind that door of any question is potential real world
(06:22):
solutions. It's potential communication.
It's it's words that might come up or ideas or perspectives.
It's emotions. It's, it's all the things behind
the door, right? So you open that door and all
those possibilities come up. So when you ask that question,
you get some space and then you set that place of intention.
Now you're acting from a place of intention, which is a place
(06:43):
of power. That's the place of a flow of
presence. That's where you are your best
self. So maybe that's the situation
that comes up and you feel that lust, you feel that desire and
you ask yourself, what is this moment asking me?
Maybe you're in an interaction with your spouse or your
partner, and maybe it's a non sexual interaction.
Let's start with that, right? Because if you're in a
(07:04):
relationship, first of all, by the way, every moment, every
moment is a sexual moment. In reality, actually as a human
being, every moment is a, is a sexual moment in some ways,
because that's our, our creativeforce, That's our life force,
right? But especially if you're in a
relationship, sex is not just about what happens when you're
like actually having sex. It's everything.
It's every moment. So you have some kind of
(07:26):
interaction happen and you ask that question because you've
programmed it in through habit, through repetition, that
question comes up, what is this moment asking me?
And now you've kind of maybe it's maybe it's a situation
that's kind of emotional in someway.
Now you get a little bit of distance from that emotion.
Now you're going to automatically show up with a
little more intention, a little bit higher vibration version of
(07:47):
yourself. And by the way, that little bit
is enough. You don't have to.
None of this is about these likegiant leaps instantly in how we
show up. It like a little bit more often
asking this question a little bit more often, showing up with
intention a little bit more often, getting a little bit of
space and connecting in a highervibration way.
(08:08):
Sex, specifically, you're havingsex with your partner and maybe
it's a a moment when you're likereally into it and you had a
really good day and you're really fired up and your beetle
is really high and your partner not so much, right?
Maybe you've experienced that. How are you going to show up in
that moment? Are you going to be disappointed
(08:31):
and it's going to kind of bum you out?
Or maybe you're going to be kindof frustrated, even you have a
little bit of kind of anger thatthat that shows up because your
partner's not in the same place that you're in, right?
Or maybe you're going to get kind of sad or maybe you're
going to kind of force you to push your way through that and
not really pay attention. None of those are ideal
outcomes, right? The ideal outcome from that
(08:52):
situation will come from in thatmoment, as soon as you have that
awareness. Oh, OK.
She's totally not in the same space that I'm in, in this
moment. And you ask yourself that
question. What is this moment asking of
me? You're going to respond in a
much better way. So it is simple.
It is incredibly powerful and itapplies to every single
(09:14):
situation. So it might be you're going
about your day, you're driving from, you know, you're on your
lunch break, you like you left work and you're driving to lunch
and you have this little reminder, oh, I haven't done
kegels. I haven't done root training.
Man, I got to get back on that. What is this moment asking me?
Well, maybe it's asking that while you drive, you knock out
(09:35):
some reps of that, right? Asking yourself this question
will continually take you from wherever the moment is to a door
that has positive possibilities.There are no negative
possibilities behind that door. There are shades of positive
(09:55):
possibilities because they're all shades of showing up with
intention and they're all shadesof getting a little bit of
distance from the situation and trusting your awareness and
being a little more objective and kind of looped into that
question automatically. What is this moment asking of
me? Well, you're not going to think,
(10:15):
what is this moment asking of mymost toxic self, right?
You're going to automatically kind of, there's that little
part of you, not even the conscious part.
It's not the like the words are not going to go through your
brain, but what's going to be automatically part of that
question is what is this moment asking of my highest vibration
self? That's like automatically going
(10:37):
to be part of that. And I'll leave you with that.
By the way, thank you for sharing a few minutes with me.
What I have found to be invariably true is that the
simplest things when it comes toare being are what really make
the difference, right? It's not, it's not big giant
(10:59):
gestures or big declarations within ourselves.
It's like the little things overand over again, you know, and
it's like a little bit crack that door open to a new
possibility. And eventually, because really
what we're doing in life is moment to moment, we're
continually making our way from door to door, opening one door,
(11:20):
opening the next door and certain possibilities behind
each door and behind each door lies more doors, right?
We're continually making our wayfrom door to door.
And if we'll just like pause forbrief moment to ask ourself a
good question, to ask ourselves a powerful question like what is
(11:40):
this moment asking of me? You're automatically going to
start choosing better doors. It's automatic.
That's the most beautiful thing.It's like you don't have to try
harder if you just program this in so that it's part of your
thought process. You don't have to try harder to
show up better in that situationwhen you're like desperately
(12:01):
wanting to connect with your wife and your erection just like
fails and you're, you have shameand guilt and frustration and
sadness and all these other things.
You don't have to try hard in that moment to fix it or figure
it out. If you just are in the habit of
asking yourself a really positive question, like what is
(12:23):
this moment asking me? Because then that's going to
happen. That potential frustrating,
frustrating, you know, derailingkind of thing is going to
happen. And then you're going to ask
yourself in that moment, what isthis moment asking of me?
And maybe you get an answer like, oh, well, it's asking for
me to find ways to connect with my partner in a little different
(12:43):
way, right? They don't have to penetrate to
have this deep connection. Maybe in this moment, if I shift
to the priority being not a specific expectation, but rather
the priority being feeling a certain way and connecting in
the deepest possible way. Now you've opened your door to
(13:07):
you've opened that door to new possibilities, right?
Because in that moment, if your expectation and your only door
that you're open to, your only possibility that you're open to
is I want to have that penetrative sex, I want to be
inside of my partner, right? It's valid.
It's a beautiful and powerful thing.
But if that's your only possibility and then that's not
working, where does that leave you, right.
(13:28):
If you ask yourself a question now, you open the door, you have
new possibilities. You're going to probably find
some ways to connect in that moment.
Maybe you're going to find ways of dealing with that moment in a
little better way where you don't get so upset about it,
where you realize that you're going to wake up tomorrow and
you're going to have a new chance to to try things and F
around and find out and expand and improve and fix that
(13:50):
situation and address those things.
And you're going to have opportunities to connect with
your partner in deeper, varied ways that maybe you wouldn't
have ever found your way to if that situation didn't happen.
What a beautiful thing it is to grow and expand.
Thanks for including me and partof your journey here on this
earth. Sending you all my best vibes.
(14:12):
As always, have an amazing rest of your day.
We'll talk to you soon.
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Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.