September 5, 2024 • 11 mins
Ep. #691 | How to begin an edging session in a more intentional way, to significantly deepen and improve the experience... both immediately and bigger picture.
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⚡️ Work with me — https://www.holisticalpha.com/coaching
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
On this episode, how to begin your edging practice to deepen
the experience and deepen your connection.
This is the holistic Alpha Male Optimization podcast where we
help you unleash your true poweras a man.
(00:22):
Hey guys, welcome back to the show.
I'm Steven Mathis. Thank you for being a part of
this tribe. Let's talk about how to begin
our edging practice in a better way and more intentional way and
more powerful way. I know based on so many
conversations that I've had thateven guys who have a regular
edging practice rarely think about how they begin that
(00:45):
practice. Very, very few guys have thought
about this, which is unfortunatebecause it can have a huge
impact on how the experience itself unfolds.
And then bigger picture what we're actually getting out of
it. Now, very briefly, anytime I
talk about edging, as a reminder, I'm talking about
mindful sacred edging, meaning masturbation.
(01:07):
Yes, it's OK to say that word. It's OK to do it.
It's especially OK to do it whenit's in a positive way that up
uplifts you and empowers you, which it absolutely can do.
And it will do that when it's mindful, when it's sacred.
And when I talk about that, whatI mean is, number one, no
screens of any kind, meaning of course, no porn, no
distractions. The primary focus is on
(01:29):
connecting within ourselves, connecting with source, within
us, connecting with our own spirit, with our own soul, with
our own body, with the energy that's moving through US.
I'm also talking about, of course, having it be edging.
Meaning most of the time we're not releasing at the end.
It's not never by any means, butit's intentional.
(01:51):
We're releasing according to theright timing for us, for our
body in that season, in that time.
That will almost never mean releasing every time, right?
Most of the time, whatever that most means for you, most of the
time we ought to be edging and not releasing because it's a
huge drain of energy. So anytime I talk about edging,
(02:11):
I'm talking about mindful sacrededging briefly described that
way. So when we begin our edging
practice, most guys, every conversation I've ever had about
this particular nuance, all of us start masturbation in this
very compulsive way, right? So there's no thought, there's
(02:34):
no pausing, there's this like excitement.
There's this boom. We just dive into it at the
moment that you can or at the moment that you feel called to
it or you feel some kind of thing that arouses you or
whatever it is. And in essence, almost every guy
almost all the time just kind ofabruptly dives in.
That is not the most powerful way to approach it.
(02:58):
That leads us down a path that is still kind of driven by
compulsion. It also leads us down a path
that doesn't have the same kind of deep connection or doesn't
really have have the opportunityfor the same kind of deep
connection. Because when we approach it that
way, and by the way, I know again, a lot of guys even who
have had edging practices for a long time will kind of overlook
(03:22):
how important it really can be to look at how we actually begin
that practice when it's that abrupt, just boom diving in.
And maybe that means diving in at the moment that we feel sort
of an urge, or maybe it even just means diving in at the
moment that we're doing it by intention.
We're not necessarily feeling a big urge in that moment, but
(03:45):
we're we have the habit or we'vescheduled it, or we decided to
or whatever. And still we'll just kind of
dive right in. But we can go so much deeper
than that. We can get deeper in a way that
allows us to connect with ourselves in a much more
powerful way in that moment where the experience itself
becomes better, the experience itself becomes better, and then
(04:08):
bigger picture, it really allowsus to connect a little more
deeply. One of the questions that has
come up on a couple of recent coaching calls that I've had
with guys, which by the way, if you'd like to schedule a
coaching session with me, you can do that at
holisticalpha.com. Look for the link in the show
notes. One of the things that's come up
a couple of times very recently and many times overall is
(04:31):
connecting spirituality with sexuality.
And of course it comes up because it's one of the things I
talked about. It's one of the things I'm very
passionate about. It's one of the things that I
know based on experiential evidence in my own life and
working with so many guys. When we connect our spirituality
with our sexuality, it has tremendous potential to
(04:52):
dramatically impact our life, tochange our being, to change the
way that we embody ourselves andthe way we connect with other
people and so much of us. And if we really have that
desire to connect our spirituality and our sexuality,
looking at how we begin our edging practice is a very
important thing to do because itsets the tone, right?
(05:13):
So when we're diving into our edging practice, that is one of
the fundamental things. It's not the only thing, you
know, we have perspectives, we have other, you know, you have
sex with a partner, you have other aspects of life that kind
of can bridge these two or sexuality and our spirituality
and our our thought processes and our emotional patterns are
certainly part of this. But when it comes to our actual
(05:34):
edging practice, of course, that's a key time when we're
when we have the potential to link those two.
And the best way that we can bring those two together in our
edging practice is to set a toneof spirituality to begin our
practice with even a very brief connection with that place.
(05:54):
What does that actually look like?
So let's say you have a 10 minute edging practice.
OK. And by the way, some guys have
hour to hour edging practices. Some guys have 5 minute edging
practices. Let's not get hung up on the
specifics. Let's say you have a 10 minute
edging practice. Typically what I would suggest
is that you take maybe 30 seconds or a minute as you begin
(06:17):
that practice or add an additional minute on to the
start where you connect with yourself in a couple of key
ways. 1 is that you very intentionally slow down.
Slow down as a general principle, slow down in your
edging practice. Overall, it's one of the best
(06:37):
things you can do. Slow your mind.
I've talked a little bit recently about how incredibly
impactful it can be to just slowour mind and slow ourselves as
we move through life. But as you enter your edging
practice, slow down. Because if you think back to the
habitual ways, to the way that you started masturbating as a
teenager, there was nothing slowabout it, right?
(07:00):
It's the complete opposite. It's boom, I'm going to dive
right into this. I'm going to get to this place
as fast as I can. Slow down.
And the other thing is during that 30 seconds or a minute that
you're slowing down, get into a little bit of a meditative
place. Now, let's not get hung up on
the word meditative. There's nothing fancy or
complicated about it. Close your eyes, take some deep
(07:23):
breaths, maybe put your hands onyour body it wherever they feel
comfortable. So maybe you put that on your
cock, you put it on your balls, you cup that part of your body
with one hand. Maybe you put one hand in your
chest. Whatever feels good.
You put your hands on your body,you close your eyes, you take a
few deep breaths and you just allow yourself to connect with
(07:46):
yourself. Because if you're going through
life and you're just like going through your day and OK, now I
get to edge and you go in, go into wherever you do that and
you sit down and then you just dive right in.
You're we're scattered for a lotof our life.
We're not deeply and truly connected with ourselves.
So if we just will take a minuteor proportionately, so let's say
(08:10):
you have an hour edging session.If you edge for 30 minutes or 45
minutes, maybe you take actuallya couple minutes in this kind of
part of the process. Maybe you take 5 minutes in this
part of the process. Maybe if you're in the beginning
stages of reawakening your libido and your sexual drive,
and so edging doesn't necessarily come really easily
to you and maybe you're not really getting hard very easily.
(08:31):
You take longer, you take longerin this part of the process to
connect with yourself. Very few of us ever actually
take any time to do that in a ina sexual way, in a connected way
where we're linking up our soul and our sexuality.
Before we just dive right in, I would love to hear your thoughts
on what I've just shared with you as well as how you might
(08:53):
start your edging ractice. Now, there's of course many
other things that we can bring into this.
We can talk about intention and setting an intention for your
edging ractice with which can beincredibly powerful, right?
We can talk about a setting, a physical setting and setting
yourself up and how you begin your edging practice that way,
and many other little nuances and techniques that we can bring
(09:15):
into how we begin our edging practice.
But as a fundamental practice, as a baseline foundation, it's
two things. Slow down and take a minute, 2
minutes, 30 seconds, 5 minutes, whatever it is to get inside
yourself, to close your eyes, breathe deeply, get into a
little bit of a meditative space.
(09:37):
Again, don't get hung up on thatword.
I know that that's a word that for a lot of people brings up a
lot of kind of preconceived notions and all of these things.
Close your eyes, connect with yourself a little bit, breathe
deeply a little bit, maybe placeyour hands on your body and slow
down. The simple, simple, I mean, that
(09:57):
is incredibly simple, right? Everybody can do that.
If you can edge, you can do that.
That simple practice of beginning your edging practice
in a more mindful way. You will have better
experiences. You'll be far more connected.
Your mind won't be so scattered.You'll start to bridge that gap
between your spirituality and your sexuality.
(10:17):
You will have better experiencesoverall on an acute basis, a day
by day basis, and you will absolutely start to deepen your
connection from an overall big picture standpoint with your
sexuality, with your edging practice.
It's one of those things that it's like a small lever that
moves a big door, a small lever of taking a little bit of time
(10:40):
to begin your edging practice ina different way.
It'll move, it'll open big doorswhen it comes to your sexuality,
your edging, connecting it with your soul, all of that stuff.
I'd love to hear your feedback. Leave a comment below.
If you're on Spotify, you can dothat directly.
If you want to e-mail me, text me.
You can do those things again. If you'd like to schedule a
coaching session with me, you can do that by the link in the
(11:00):
show notes. Go keep stacking little bricks
in your life. Los adrios Pequenos, SE con
Vierten and grandes castillos, which means little bricks turn
into big castles. Keep stacking.
On this episode, how to begin your edging practice to deepen
the experience and deepen your connection.
This is the holistic Alpha Male Optimization podcast where we
help you unleash your true poweras a man.
(00:22):
Hey guys, welcome back to the show.
I'm Steven Mathis. Thank you for being a part of
this tribe. Let's talk about how to begin
our edging practice in a better way and more intentional way and
more powerful way. I know based on so many
conversations that I've had thateven guys who have a regular
edging practice rarely think about how they begin that
(00:45):
practice. Very, very few guys have thought
about this, which is unfortunatebecause it can have a huge
impact on how the experience itself unfolds.
And then bigger picture what we're actually getting out of
it. Now, very briefly, anytime I
talk about edging, as a reminder, I'm talking about
mindful sacred edging, meaning masturbation.
(01:07):
Yes, it's OK to say that word. It's OK to do it.
It's especially OK to do it whenit's in a positive way that up
uplifts you and empowers you, which it absolutely can do.
And it will do that when it's mindful, when it's sacred.
And when I talk about that, whatI mean is, number one, no
screens of any kind, meaning of course, no porn, no
distractions. The primary focus is on
(01:29):
connecting within ourselves, connecting with source, within
us, connecting with our own spirit, with our own soul, with
our own body, with the energy that's moving through US.
I'm also talking about, of course, having it be edging.
Meaning most of the time we're not releasing at the end.
It's not never by any means, butit's intentional.
(01:51):
We're releasing according to theright timing for us, for our
body in that season, in that time.
That will almost never mean releasing every time, right?
Most of the time, whatever that most means for you, most of the
time we ought to be edging and not releasing because it's a
huge drain of energy. So anytime I talk about edging,
(02:11):
I'm talking about mindful sacrededging briefly described that
way. So when we begin our edging
practice, most guys, every conversation I've ever had about
this particular nuance, all of us start masturbation in this
very compulsive way, right? So there's no thought, there's
(02:34):
no pausing, there's this like excitement.
There's this boom. We just dive into it at the
moment that you can or at the moment that you feel called to
it or you feel some kind of thing that arouses you or
whatever it is. And in essence, almost every guy
almost all the time just kind ofabruptly dives in.
That is not the most powerful way to approach it.
(02:58):
That leads us down a path that is still kind of driven by
compulsion. It also leads us down a path
that doesn't have the same kind of deep connection or doesn't
really have have the opportunityfor the same kind of deep
connection. Because when we approach it that
way, and by the way, I know again, a lot of guys even who
have had edging practices for a long time will kind of overlook
(03:22):
how important it really can be to look at how we actually begin
that practice when it's that abrupt, just boom diving in.
And maybe that means diving in at the moment that we feel sort
of an urge, or maybe it even just means diving in at the
moment that we're doing it by intention.
We're not necessarily feeling a big urge in that moment, but
(03:45):
we're we have the habit or we'vescheduled it, or we decided to
or whatever. And still we'll just kind of
dive right in. But we can go so much deeper
than that. We can get deeper in a way that
allows us to connect with ourselves in a much more
powerful way in that moment where the experience itself
becomes better, the experience itself becomes better, and then
(04:08):
bigger picture, it really allowsus to connect a little more
deeply. One of the questions that has
come up on a couple of recent coaching calls that I've had
with guys, which by the way, if you'd like to schedule a
coaching session with me, you can do that at
holisticalpha.com. Look for the link in the show
notes. One of the things that's come up
a couple of times very recently and many times overall is
(04:31):
connecting spirituality with sexuality.
And of course it comes up because it's one of the things I
talked about. It's one of the things I'm very
passionate about. It's one of the things that I
know based on experiential evidence in my own life and
working with so many guys. When we connect our spirituality
with our sexuality, it has tremendous potential to
(04:52):
dramatically impact our life, tochange our being, to change the
way that we embody ourselves andthe way we connect with other
people and so much of us. And if we really have that
desire to connect our spirituality and our sexuality,
looking at how we begin our edging practice is a very
important thing to do because itsets the tone, right?
(05:13):
So when we're diving into our edging practice, that is one of
the fundamental things. It's not the only thing, you
know, we have perspectives, we have other, you know, you have
sex with a partner, you have other aspects of life that kind
of can bridge these two or sexuality and our spirituality
and our our thought processes and our emotional patterns are
certainly part of this. But when it comes to our actual
(05:34):
edging practice, of course, that's a key time when we're
when we have the potential to link those two.
And the best way that we can bring those two together in our
edging practice is to set a toneof spirituality to begin our
practice with even a very brief connection with that place.
(05:54):
What does that actually look like?
So let's say you have a 10 minute edging practice.
OK. And by the way, some guys have
hour to hour edging practices. Some guys have 5 minute edging
practices. Let's not get hung up on the
specifics. Let's say you have a 10 minute
edging practice. Typically what I would suggest
is that you take maybe 30 seconds or a minute as you begin
(06:17):
that practice or add an additional minute on to the
start where you connect with yourself in a couple of key
ways. 1 is that you very intentionally slow down.
Slow down as a general principle, slow down in your
edging practice. Overall, it's one of the best
(06:37):
things you can do. Slow your mind.
I've talked a little bit recently about how incredibly
impactful it can be to just slowour mind and slow ourselves as
we move through life. But as you enter your edging
practice, slow down. Because if you think back to the
habitual ways, to the way that you started masturbating as a
teenager, there was nothing slowabout it, right?
(07:00):
It's the complete opposite. It's boom, I'm going to dive
right into this. I'm going to get to this place
as fast as I can. Slow down.
And the other thing is during that 30 seconds or a minute that
you're slowing down, get into a little bit of a meditative
place. Now, let's not get hung up on
the word meditative. There's nothing fancy or
complicated about it. Close your eyes, take some deep
(07:23):
breaths, maybe put your hands onyour body it wherever they feel
comfortable. So maybe you put that on your
cock, you put it on your balls, you cup that part of your body
with one hand. Maybe you put one hand in your
chest. Whatever feels good.
You put your hands on your body,you close your eyes, you take a
few deep breaths and you just allow yourself to connect with
(07:46):
yourself. Because if you're going through
life and you're just like going through your day and OK, now I
get to edge and you go in, go into wherever you do that and
you sit down and then you just dive right in.
You're we're scattered for a lotof our life.
We're not deeply and truly connected with ourselves.
So if we just will take a minuteor proportionately, so let's say
(08:10):
you have an hour edging session.If you edge for 30 minutes or 45
minutes, maybe you take actuallya couple minutes in this kind of
part of the process. Maybe you take 5 minutes in this
part of the process. Maybe if you're in the beginning
stages of reawakening your libido and your sexual drive,
and so edging doesn't necessarily come really easily
to you and maybe you're not really getting hard very easily.
(08:31):
You take longer, you take longerin this part of the process to
connect with yourself. Very few of us ever actually
take any time to do that in a ina sexual way, in a connected way
where we're linking up our soul and our sexuality.
Before we just dive right in, I would love to hear your thoughts
on what I've just shared with you as well as how you might
(08:53):
start your edging ractice. Now, there's of course many
other things that we can bring into this.
We can talk about intention and setting an intention for your
edging ractice with which can beincredibly powerful, right?
We can talk about a setting, a physical setting and setting
yourself up and how you begin your edging practice that way,
and many other little nuances and techniques that we can bring
(09:15):
into how we begin our edging practice.
But as a fundamental practice, as a baseline foundation, it's
two things. Slow down and take a minute, 2
minutes, 30 seconds, 5 minutes, whatever it is to get inside
yourself, to close your eyes, breathe deeply, get into a
little bit of a meditative space.
(09:37):
Again, don't get hung up on thatword.
I know that that's a word that for a lot of people brings up a
lot of kind of preconceived notions and all of these things.
Close your eyes, connect with yourself a little bit, breathe
deeply a little bit, maybe placeyour hands on your body and slow
down. The simple, simple, I mean, that
(09:57):
is incredibly simple, right? Everybody can do that.
If you can edge, you can do that.
That simple practice of beginning your edging practice
in a more mindful way. You will have better
experiences. You'll be far more connected.
Your mind won't be so scattered.You'll start to bridge that gap
between your spirituality and your sexuality.
(10:17):
You will have better experiencesoverall on an acute basis, a day
by day basis, and you will absolutely start to deepen your
connection from an overall big picture standpoint with your
sexuality, with your edging practice.
It's one of those things that it's like a small lever that
moves a big door, a small lever of taking a little bit of time
(10:40):
to begin your edging practice ina different way.
It'll move, it'll open big doorswhen it comes to your sexuality,
your edging, connecting it with your soul, all of that stuff.
I'd love to hear your feedback. Leave a comment below.
If you're on Spotify, you can dothat directly.
If you want to e-mail me, text me.
You can do those things again. If you'd like to schedule a
coaching session with me, you can do that by the link in the
(11:00):
show notes. Go keep stacking little bricks
in your life. Los adrios Pequenos, SE con
Vierten and grandes castillos, which means little bricks turn
into big castles. Keep stacking.
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