February 18, 2025 • 27 mins
What if showing love every day could transform your life in profound ways? Join me on Holly's Highlights as we embark on a heartfelt journey to make love an integral part of our daily lives. We'll unpack the benefits of showing love, some of the challenges we face in doing so, and dive deep into fourteen ways we can show love to others around us.
This episode is sure to enrich your life by enhancing your emotional well-being, strengthening relationships, fostering personal growth, and even boosting your physical health. Together, we'll explore the power of understanding and accepting others' experiences, even amid disagreements. Discover how vulnerability and safe spaces for genuine conversations can deepen connections. We'll discuss why loving oneself is crucial for loving others, and how celebrating joy and achievements can fortify our bonds.
Finally, we tackle the languages of love, inviting you to explore different expressions to deepen your connections.
Join the 30-day How to Show Love challenge.
https://mailchi.mp/b023f8b5d757/how-to-show-love
Visit www.hollycurby.com for more information and to sign up for the monthly Holly's Happenings e-newsletter. Holly's Highlights podcast and the opinions and ideas shared within it are for entertainment purposes only. The advice should be confirmed with a qualified professional.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, friend, welcome to Holly's Highlights, a podcast
designed to encourage, inspireand equip you to intentionally
live your life full of purpose.
I'm your host, holly Kirby,motivational speaker, leadership
cultivator, marketingstrategist and personal
cheerleader.
Let's check out today'shighlights.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Oprah Winfrey said, when you make loving others the
story of your life, there'snever a final chapter because
the legacy continues.
You lend your light to oneperson and he or she shines it
on to another, and another, andanother.
I welcome you to join the 30day challenge on showing love to
others.
Not sure where to start?
Simply click on the link in theshow notes to join the
(00:42):
challenge and receive the 30 daychallenge challenge how to Show
Loved Others Printable PDF, orfind the link in today's episode
on wwwhollykirbycom underpodcast.
Join the challenge today andlet's start showing the love
that we hope to see in thisworld.
I hope you had a wonderfulValentine's Day last week.
(01:03):
I know I sure enjoy loving onmy munchkins and my family and
even my team at work.
It's just such a fun day.
Something I strive to do everyday, but especially for
Valentine's Day, is alwaysdecorate the house for my kiddos
inside and out and do somethingtheme oriented.
So I've done before where I'veshared with you one of my
(01:25):
favorites, which is where Ibought them each a star and then
had it named something in theirhonor and decorated their
bedroom doors with star cutouts,listing attributes that shine
in each of them and putting theglow in the dark stars all over
their bedroom ceilings, and then, that night, set up outside for
us to go look out for that startheir star through the
(01:48):
telescope.
So I just love loving on mychildren.
Now, today, though, we're goingto look at showing love not
just on a certain day of theyear, but in our everyday life.
When I graduated with mymaster's in leadership and
management, people kept askingwhat are you going to do with
your new degree?
Well, the only response I hadwas I just wanted to love on
(02:09):
people, however I may.
Showing love to others has manybenefits to all involved, but
especially five.
First one it helps ouremotional well-being.
So love brings warmth andcomfort and security.
It can reduce stress andpromote happiness and even help
with mental health.
Feeling loved and loving otherscreates a sense of belonging
(02:32):
and even a sense of purpose.
Second one is it buildsstronger relationships.
Now, whether it be romantic orfamily relationships or
friendships, love deepens theseconnections and strengthens
those bonds.
People are more likely to feelvalued and supported when love
is expressed to them.
A third way is encouraginggrowth.
(02:54):
Love can motivate personalgrowth and change.
It inspires people to be theirbest selves and to reach higher,
both for themselves and forothers selves, and to reach
higher both for themselves andfor others.
A fourth way that helps ispromoting compassion.
When you show love, it oftenencourages a cycle of kindness
and compassion.
In a world where there's somuch negativity and hardship,
(03:16):
love sure can become a way ofcounteracting that can't it and
just creating more harmony.
And then, finally, it improvesphysical health.
Studies show that positiverelationships and showing
affection can actually havephysical health benefits, such
as lowering blood pressure andimproving immune function.
(03:37):
Now there are many attributes oflove, as we see in 1
Corinthians 13, 4 through 8,that love is patient and kind,
love does not envy or boast, itis not arrogant or rude, it does
not insist on its own way, it'snot irritable or resentful, and
it does not rejoice atwrongdoing but rejoices with the
truth.
But how do we show love?
(03:59):
And not just on Valentine's Dayor during the month of February
, but genuinely show love everyday in our life?
Well, in honor of February 14thbeing the day of love, we're
going to look at 14 meaningfulways that you could show love to
others in your life, whetherthat be in the workplace, in
your home, with your friends atchurch, school or simply
(04:22):
day-to-day tasks such aschecking out at the grocery
store or returning a book at thelibrary.
The first one is practice activelistening.
This matters because we're ableto show love often if it starts
with truly hearing someone.
Active listening means beingfully present and engaged when
someone is speaking, withoutdistractions but also without
(04:46):
judgment.
And how we can apply this isputting away our phone,
maintaining eye contact, givethat undivided attention,
respond with empathy and askfollow up questions to show that
you're really engaged inprocessing what they've shared.
One way I try to exhibit thisto my children is to physically
stop what I'm doing when theyenter a room to talk to me.
(05:06):
Then I make eye contact andeven turn my body language to
point toward them as they talk,and then engage with affirming
sounds or words such as oh,uh-huh, or even asking
clarifying questions.
A second way is to be presentand asking clarifying questions.
(05:28):
A second way is to be present.
It matters because showing lovemeans being there emotionally
and physically.
When we're present, we validatethe other person's experiences
and show them that they matter.
We often see this when going toour children's games.
You see often that people willbe on their phones and even
though we're there, our kidsknow we're not there, so it's
putting away the phone, lookingup and giving them our undivided
(05:50):
attention so that they can seethat we're engaged and a part of
what they're going through,what they're experiencing.
So just like that.
How do we apply it?
Put away the distractions whenspending time with others,
whether it be with friends,family members or even
colleagues, much like the act oflistening we just discussed.
Give them your full attentionand show that you value the time
(06:12):
together.
Number three express gratitude.
It matters because gratitude isa beautiful way to show love
and appreciation for the peoplein your life.
When you express thanks, itdeepens the connection and it
makes the other person feelvalued.
How we can apply it is simplyby taking a moment to thank
someone for their help, thankingthem for being present with us
(06:35):
or even thanking them for theirinfluence in our life, whether
it's through a heartfelt thankyou note, a text or in person.
Acknowledging their impactmakes them feel special.
Number four offer emotionalsupport.
Why it matters is showing lovemeans being there for someone,
but especially in tough times,offering a listening ear, a
(06:58):
comforting word or even a quietpresence can be incredibly
healing for those who need it.
Simple ways to apply this is,when someone is going through a
difficult time, simply beingthere to listen without judgment
, and showing profound love.
Offer the empathy and let themknow that they're not alone,
whether by providing advice orjust offering your presence
(07:22):
alone I know when my mom passedaway or just offering your
presence alone.
I know when my mom passed away.
This is one that a friend did.
That really stood out to me isI just needed to look through my
closet for something to wear tothe funeral and I think she
grabbed food to come over.
I really don't remember much ofthat day, but I do remember her
just hopping up on my bed andjust being present as she just
(07:42):
watched me pull out all thesedifferent things from my closet.
It didn't matter if she broughtfood or not, it didn't matter
if I found the perfect thing towear.
What mattered is she wasoffering that emotional support
of just being there.
Number five be understanding andpatient.
Why does it matter?
Well, love thrives inenvironments of patience and
(08:04):
understanding.
No one is perfect, and showinglove means accepting others'
flaws and offering grace,because, you know, that's what
we'd want to receive as well andhow we can apply it is when a
loved one is struggling or makesa mistake, respond with
compassion rather than criticism.
Give people the space to bethemselves and don't expect
(08:26):
perfection.
One thing I like to say isallow people to fail forward,
knowing that you're going to bethere.
You're going to be there tocatch them, you're going to be
there to help, pick them back up, or simply use one of the
previous of just being there,offering that support,
emotionally or physicallypresence, but just being
(08:47):
understanding and patient in theprocess.
Number six forgive and let go.
Why does this matter?
Well, love doesn't hold grudgesand it's easy to harbor
resentment, but letting go ofpast hurts is essential for
healthy relationships.
Forgiveness opens the door forhealing and even reconnection.
(09:09):
It doesn't mean there's alwaysgoing to be a reconnection, but
at least it opens the door forhealing and that's important for
both parties.
How we can apply it is ifsomeone has wronged, you choose
to forgive, not for their sakeit's not saying that what they
did was okay or justifying it,or excusing it or allowing it
(09:29):
but it's for your own peace ofmind.
So let go of negative emotionsthat just might prevent you from
fully loving others.
Number seven support theirdreams and goals.
Why it matters is becausesupporting someone's aspirations
shows love and encourages themto be their best selves.
(09:50):
When you champion their dreams,it shows you care about their
personal growth and happiness.
How can we apply this?
Well, whether it's offeringencouragement or practical help,
support others in pursuingtheir dreams, help them
celebrate their achievements andbe there to cheer them on
through their challenges.
I always want to be thosearound me, their biggest
(10:11):
advocate, their biggestcheerleader, because I love,
whether it be at work, seeingpeople rise up even more or
higher than I am.
I want to see them excel, but,of course, with my own family
and especially my children, Iwant to see them soar.
So don't worry about blowingout someone else's candles to
(10:32):
make your shine even brighter.
That's not how it works.
Support others' dreams andgoals because you want what's
best for them.
That's love.
Number eight create a safe,nonjudgmental space Now, we've
mentioned this a few timeswithout criticism in different
aspects.
Why does it matter?
(10:53):
People show their love bycreating safe spaces where
others feel comfortable, beingvulnerable and authentic.
A nonjudgmental space is wherepeople can express themselves
without fear of criticism.
We want people to be genuinelywho they are and to be able to
relax.
I love for people to come overto my home and just feel a safe
(11:15):
space.
My kids have had friends allthroughout their lifetime that
have come over here and seen ourhome as their safety net, and
I'm so thankful for that,because that's where we're able
to have some deep conversations.
That's also where healing canbegin, is where people feel safe
.
So how do you apply it?
Be open and accepting ofothers' feelings, of whatever
(11:37):
they've experienced and even oftheir opinions.
We're not always going to agreeon things, and you know what?
I'm, quite frankly glad that wedon't.
I enjoy hearing other people'sopinions and learning from their
perspectives.
It doesn't mean that it's goingto change my mind, but it also
helps my mind grow and evensometimes help me to hold a
(11:59):
stronger belief, even morestrongly because of what I've
learned seeing through someoneelse's eyes.
But I want them to be able tofeel like they can come over and
have a safe space where theycan share those feelings and
experiences and opinions with me, even if I'm going to differ.
Especially when I'm going todiffer, we could also encourage
(12:19):
vulnerability and create anenvironment where people feel
safe to be themselves.
They shouldn't have to put on afacade to be around us.
I don't want that.
I want someone to be genuinearound me and vulnerable, and be
able to have conversations thatare down to the core, but
knowing that we still haverespect and care for one another
(12:40):
.
Number nine be kind to yourself.
Oh, this one matters for manyreasons.
Loving others starts withloving ourself.
Self-compassion is vital forbuilding resilience and healthy
relationships.
When you treat yourself withkindness, you're better equipped
to show love to others.
(13:01):
Now we can apply this by takingtime for self-care, practice
self-acceptance and allow ourself-grace when we make mistakes
.
Your own well-being matters,and loving yourself creates a
foundation for loving othersauthentically.
Number 10, practice empathy.
Why does it matter?
(13:21):
Well, love is rooted in empathy, the ability to understand and
share the feelings of another.
It allows you to connect withothers on a deeper level and
offer support that's meaningfulto them.
We can apply this throughsimply putting yourself in
someone else's shoes and try tounderstand their perspective
before reacting.
(13:42):
Offer support and validation byacknowledging their feelings,
even if you don't fullyunderstand or even agree with
them.
Number 11, celebrate and sharethe joy.
It matters, because love isn'tjust about being there in tough
times.
It's about celebrating the goodmoments too.
Sharing in someone's joys helpsdeepen your bond and shows you
(14:05):
care about their happiness.
How can you apply it?
Celebrate those milestones andachievements and happy moments
with others, whether that'sbirthdays, a promotion or just a
win in your personal life.
Acknowledging and sharing theirjoy is a beautiful way to show
love.
As we've expanded our herd,that is something I think has
(14:26):
caught some of our additions ona little off guard is our family
loves to celebrate each otherand we love to celebrate
together.
So, whether that be a promotion, we want to go celebrate that A
hard decision that was made, welove to celebrate together.
So, whether that be a promotion, we want to go celebrate that A
hard decision that was made.
We want to go celebrate that Atest that was aced or just
passed, because we knew howgrueling that person was having
(14:47):
to deal with that test or what aproblematic situation might
have been that they've overcome.
We want to celebrate that.
We want to cheer them on.
We love to celebrate each otherand we love to celebrate
whether it be through the toughtimes, overcoming or celebrating
and sharing the joys that we gothrough in those milestones.
(15:10):
So celebrate and share the joy.
Number 12, spread love throughyour actions.
Why it matters is love isn'tjust about words, it's about
what you do.
You often hear that, where well, actions speak louder than
words, so we'll see if thatperson follows through.
Your actions do speak louderthan anything you can say.
(15:32):
So how we can apply this isshow love in practical ways.
You say something matters toyou, volunteer your time, donate
to a cause you care about orhelp others in need.
Love, when shared with theworld, has such a ripple effect.
And our final two are two of myfavorites and, I feel, most
(15:53):
important.
That is number 13,.
Pray for others.
Why does it matter?
James 5.16 tells us that prayeris powerful and effective.
Praying for others puts theirneeds above our own.
It's praying for their good andthe outcome of whatever they're
going through.
(16:13):
It's praying to help encourageand lift them up.
And because you have a deepcare that you want to do so,
your heart is showing theempathy and taking time to go
before the Lord on their behalf.
And we can apply it simply byreaching out by text, a phone
(16:35):
call or simply asking people inconversation how may I pray for
you today or this week and then,in your quiet time, pray for
them Now we're not praying for avery pointed pray that they
come to their senses.
We're not necessarily prayingthat they'll understand our way
(16:55):
or perspective.
No, we're praying for them, forGod to meet them where they're
at, to meet each need, toprovide where he would, to help
provide discernment and wisdomand guidance, to bless them, to
love them, to forgive them, toencourage them.
There are so many things thatwe can pray for for others Now.
Bonus points for following upwith them, perhaps the next week
(17:16):
, or even following somethingthey've asked you to pray for
and then asking how it went orhow they're doing.
A simple, any update.
Oh, the power in praying forothers.
I am so thankful for those inmy life who have loved me enough
to genuinely go before thethrone of God and pray for me.
(17:40):
Number 14, learn, share andexpress love languages.
Now to really unpack this, youcan check out Holly's Highlights
, season 3, episode 3.
And, in fact, not only there.
We do cover a deep dive intolove languages based on author
Gary Chapman's the Five LoveLanguages, but also, if you just
(18:03):
look back through many of theseasons and episodes here on
Holly's Highlights, you're goingto find different episodes that
take you deeper on whether itbe being present.
There's one around Christmastime, I think, the second year,
on the gift of being present, ormany that are around November
of each year on expressinggratitude.
(18:25):
So feel free to check back onsome of those dreams and goals.
Many of these are pertinent.
They're expressing empathy.
But especially here in thisepisode of season three, episode
three, we go through the lovelanguages and why they're so
important for us to learn whatours are but then also learn
what those are around us so thatwe can best show them love.
(18:49):
Because it's one thing to say Iwant to express love, but it's
another to do so in a way.
People actually receive it asthat.
But in a nutshell, these fivelove languages are gifts, and
that matters because thoughtfulsurprises show that you're
thinking about someone and careabout their happiness.
It's not about the grandgestures, necessarily, but about
(19:10):
finding ways to make their dayspecial.
It can be something even simple.
How we apply it is surprisingyour partner with their favorite
coffee, or write a handwrittennote to a friend, send a text,
just check in and see howsomeone's day is going.
Simple things can be done, butthese small surprises can make
(19:31):
someone feel so deeply cared for.
Another love language is qualitytime.
Why it matters is because oneof the most precious gifts that
you can give is your time.
So many people vie for our time.
It is a gift.
It shows that you value theperson and are willing to invest
in your relationship with them.
(19:52):
My dad used to always be soannoyed when someone would take
a phone call when they're intheir loved one's presence, or
even in his presence, whether itbe a meeting or just out
golfing or at a game orsomething because he'd say what
you do matters with a phone callcoming in shows who's most
important to you, who you valuewhere you value the person that
(20:13):
you're with or the personcalling in on the phone.
So he's actually one that'staught me that if my phone is
ringing and I'm with my children, my focus is on them.
They are the most importantwith me at that moment.
And just recently my son and Iwent to Disneyland and I went to
go grab my phone to take apicture and it rang as I pulled
it up and of course I swiped outlike no, I'm with my son and he
(20:36):
looked at me and he said thanksfor not taking that call, mom.
So they see, spend that qualitytime.
Other ways on how to apply thisis just setting aside time for
meaningful activities with lovedones, whether that's going for
a walk, having a deepconversation or simply hanging
out.
Quality time shows love in avery tangible way.
(20:59):
Third, love language is words ofaffirmation.
Now, why it matters iscompliments are a simple yet
powerful way to show love andappreciation.
When you compliment someone,you affirm their value and you
boost their confidence.
This is easy to apply.
You can be specific and sincere.
Of course, no one wants just acompliment when it's not really
(21:22):
genuine right.
We tend to know when those areand we know people who are known
for such comments Instead of ageneric compliment are known for
such comments Instead of ageneric compliment like you look
great, try something moremeaningful, such as your energy
today is contagious and I lovehow you made everyone feel
welcome.
Things like that just go a bitdeeper for those who really
(21:42):
value that words of affirmationBe very specific to them.
I know for me, my love languageis words of affirmation, and if
I'm in a room and someone says,oh, you guys did great on that
project, well done on that, I donot hear a single word of that
toward me and my love languageis words of affirmation.
The reason being is because Ialways want my team to feel
(22:05):
loved, so I'm going to be theircheerleader of yeah, you guys
did great.
Even if I'm a part of that, Iactually need the very specific.
Holly, I really appreciated howyou did this and the outcome
was this and that affected thisand that was great.
I need it to be very specificand not just a generic
compliment.
Otherwise, even though it iswords of affirmation, it'll fall
(22:29):
on deaf ears.
So be very careful that it isgenuine, it's authentic and it's
personalized.
The fourth love language is actsof service.
Now, why it matters is becausekindness is one of the most
tangible forms of love.
Little actions, like helping afriend with a task, offering a
(22:49):
thoughtful gesture or even asmile, can have a big impact.
Now, for those of us who don'thave acts of service as their
main love language, we kind ofscoff at that a little bit,
right, and we think that's alittle too simple.
But for those who have acts ofservice as their love language,
those things go so far inreaching them and showing them
(23:12):
love and that they're seen andvalued and appreciated.
So how we can apply these forthose who need the acts of
service to feel the love is holdthe door open for someone,
leave a kind note for acolleague, or surprise a loved
one with their favorite snack ora thoughtful message.
These small gestures add up andthey truly brighten someone's
(23:36):
day.
The fifth one is physical touch.
Why does it matter?
Well, according topsychologytodaycom, touch can
actually calm the nervous systemand slow down our heartbeat.
It can lower blood pressure aswell as cortisol.
A study at Berkeley revealedthe importance of physical touch
in early development, improvingcommunication, building
(24:00):
personal relationships and evenfighting diseases.
There can be so much power,security and feeling of
well-being in touch.
So how can you apply it?
Well, this does depend on therelationship and what would be
appropriate.
I had a coworker years agowhose love language was physical
touch and he literally neededme just to pat him on the back
(24:23):
or give him a high five now andthen.
That was appropriate.
I could do that and it waseffective, whereas my son's
physical touch love language isin need of me hugging him or
snuggling on the couch to watcha movie together.
Again, depends on therelationship and what would be
appropriate within that contextas to what that looks like for
physical touch.
(24:44):
So which of these ways ofshowing love resonates most with
you, or is there a particularaspect you want to focus on in
your relationships or even inyour leadership?
Sometimes it's taking thatfirst step in showing love that
can be the hardestMisperceptions that to show love
is a weakness or fear of beingvulnerable.
(25:04):
Even past experiences that canmake it challenging to express.
Well, as Francine Rivers saidin the movie Redeeming Love, one
of my all-time favorite movies,for some of us, one mile can be
more to walk than 30.
So this week, go ahead andstart with baby steps by trying
(25:25):
to show love in at least twodifferent ways, whether that's a
compliment, a kind gesture ortruly listening to someone.
Then share your experience withus over on today's episode's
post on Facebook at Holly'sHighlights, or on Instagram at
Holly Kirby.
That's H-O-L-L-Y-C-U-R-B-Y.
(25:45):
Showing love in life is aboutcultivating genuine connections.
It's about demonstrating careand embracing kindness in both
big and small ways, Whether it'sthrough actions, words or one
of the 14 ways mentioned earlier.
Love has the power to createand elevate deep and meaningful
relationships, to create trust,to foster a sense of belonging,
(26:10):
as it makes people feel seen andheard, valued and appreciated.
It offers kindness andauthentically connects people,
all while bringing a little morejoy into the world.
Similar to what Gandhi has saidinstead of waiting for others
to do it, go ahead and show thelove you want to see in this
world.
(26:30):
After all, 1 Corinthiansreminds us and now these three
remain faith, hope and love, butthe greatest of these is love.
Thank you for joining me onthis journey of life.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I hope that today's highlight has been encouraging,
inspiring and equipping so youcan go out and live your life
full of purpose.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
I'd be honored if you'd take a moment to leave a
review or, better yet, subscribe.
We can also stay in touch byjoining my email list at
hollykirbycom, that's H-O-L-L-Y,c-u-r-b-y dot com.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Until next time, make it a great day for a great day.
Hi, friend, welcome to Holly's Highlights, a podcast
designed to encourage, inspireand equip you to intentionally
live your life full of purpose.
I'm your host, holly Kirby,motivational speaker, leadership
cultivator, marketingstrategist and personal
cheerleader.
Let's check out today'shighlights.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Oprah Winfrey said, when you make loving others the
story of your life, there'snever a final chapter because
the legacy continues.
You lend your light to oneperson and he or she shines it
on to another, and another, andanother.
I welcome you to join the 30day challenge on showing love to
others.
Not sure where to start?
Simply click on the link in theshow notes to join the
(00:42):
challenge and receive the 30 daychallenge challenge how to Show
Loved Others Printable PDF, orfind the link in today's episode
on wwwhollykirbycom underpodcast.
Join the challenge today andlet's start showing the love
that we hope to see in thisworld.
I hope you had a wonderfulValentine's Day last week.
(01:03):
I know I sure enjoy loving onmy munchkins and my family and
even my team at work.
It's just such a fun day.
Something I strive to do everyday, but especially for
Valentine's Day, is alwaysdecorate the house for my kiddos
inside and out and do somethingtheme oriented.
So I've done before where I'veshared with you one of my
(01:25):
favorites, which is where Ibought them each a star and then
had it named something in theirhonor and decorated their
bedroom doors with star cutouts,listing attributes that shine
in each of them and putting theglow in the dark stars all over
their bedroom ceilings, and then, that night, set up outside for
us to go look out for that startheir star through the
(01:48):
telescope.
So I just love loving on mychildren.
Now, today, though, we're goingto look at showing love not
just on a certain day of theyear, but in our everyday life.
When I graduated with mymaster's in leadership and
management, people kept askingwhat are you going to do with
your new degree?
Well, the only response I hadwas I just wanted to love on
(02:09):
people, however I may.
Showing love to others has manybenefits to all involved, but
especially five.
First one it helps ouremotional well-being.
So love brings warmth andcomfort and security.
It can reduce stress andpromote happiness and even help
with mental health.
Feeling loved and loving otherscreates a sense of belonging
(02:32):
and even a sense of purpose.
Second one is it buildsstronger relationships.
Now, whether it be romantic orfamily relationships or
friendships, love deepens theseconnections and strengthens
those bonds.
People are more likely to feelvalued and supported when love
is expressed to them.
A third way is encouraginggrowth.
(02:54):
Love can motivate personalgrowth and change.
It inspires people to be theirbest selves and to reach higher,
both for themselves and forothers selves, and to reach
higher both for themselves andfor others.
A fourth way that helps ispromoting compassion.
When you show love, it oftenencourages a cycle of kindness
and compassion.
In a world where there's somuch negativity and hardship,
(03:16):
love sure can become a way ofcounteracting that can't it and
just creating more harmony.
And then, finally, it improvesphysical health.
Studies show that positiverelationships and showing
affection can actually havephysical health benefits, such
as lowering blood pressure andimproving immune function.
(03:37):
Now there are many attributes oflove, as we see in 1
Corinthians 13, 4 through 8,that love is patient and kind,
love does not envy or boast, itis not arrogant or rude, it does
not insist on its own way, it'snot irritable or resentful, and
it does not rejoice atwrongdoing but rejoices with the
truth.
But how do we show love?
(03:59):
And not just on Valentine's Dayor during the month of February
, but genuinely show love everyday in our life?
Well, in honor of February 14thbeing the day of love, we're
going to look at 14 meaningfulways that you could show love to
others in your life, whetherthat be in the workplace, in
your home, with your friends atchurch, school or simply
(04:22):
day-to-day tasks such aschecking out at the grocery
store or returning a book at thelibrary.
The first one is practice activelistening.
This matters because we're ableto show love often if it starts
with truly hearing someone.
Active listening means beingfully present and engaged when
someone is speaking, withoutdistractions but also without
(04:46):
judgment.
And how we can apply this isputting away our phone,
maintaining eye contact, givethat undivided attention,
respond with empathy and askfollow up questions to show that
you're really engaged inprocessing what they've shared.
One way I try to exhibit thisto my children is to physically
stop what I'm doing when theyenter a room to talk to me.
(05:06):
Then I make eye contact andeven turn my body language to
point toward them as they talk,and then engage with affirming
sounds or words such as oh,uh-huh, or even asking
clarifying questions.
A second way is to be presentand asking clarifying questions.
(05:28):
A second way is to be present.
It matters because showing lovemeans being there emotionally
and physically.
When we're present, we validatethe other person's experiences
and show them that they matter.
We often see this when going toour children's games.
You see often that people willbe on their phones and even
though we're there, our kidsknow we're not there, so it's
putting away the phone, lookingup and giving them our undivided
(05:50):
attention so that they can seethat we're engaged and a part of
what they're going through,what they're experiencing.
So just like that.
How do we apply it?
Put away the distractions whenspending time with others,
whether it be with friends,family members or even
colleagues, much like the act oflistening we just discussed.
Give them your full attentionand show that you value the time
(06:12):
together.
Number three express gratitude.
It matters because gratitude isa beautiful way to show love
and appreciation for the peoplein your life.
When you express thanks, itdeepens the connection and it
makes the other person feelvalued.
How we can apply it is simplyby taking a moment to thank
someone for their help, thankingthem for being present with us
(06:35):
or even thanking them for theirinfluence in our life, whether
it's through a heartfelt thankyou note, a text or in person.
Acknowledging their impactmakes them feel special.
Number four offer emotionalsupport.
Why it matters is showing lovemeans being there for someone,
but especially in tough times,offering a listening ear, a
(06:58):
comforting word or even a quietpresence can be incredibly
healing for those who need it.
Simple ways to apply this is,when someone is going through a
difficult time, simply beingthere to listen without judgment
, and showing profound love.
Offer the empathy and let themknow that they're not alone,
whether by providing advice orjust offering your presence
(07:22):
alone I know when my mom passedaway or just offering your
presence alone.
I know when my mom passed away.
This is one that a friend did.
That really stood out to me isI just needed to look through my
closet for something to wear tothe funeral and I think she
grabbed food to come over.
I really don't remember much ofthat day, but I do remember her
just hopping up on my bed andjust being present as she just
(07:42):
watched me pull out all thesedifferent things from my closet.
It didn't matter if she broughtfood or not, it didn't matter
if I found the perfect thing towear.
What mattered is she wasoffering that emotional support
of just being there.
Number five be understanding andpatient.
Why does it matter?
Well, love thrives inenvironments of patience and
(08:04):
understanding.
No one is perfect, and showinglove means accepting others'
flaws and offering grace,because, you know, that's what
we'd want to receive as well andhow we can apply it is when a
loved one is struggling or makesa mistake, respond with
compassion rather than criticism.
Give people the space to bethemselves and don't expect
(08:26):
perfection.
One thing I like to say isallow people to fail forward,
knowing that you're going to bethere.
You're going to be there tocatch them, you're going to be
there to help, pick them back up, or simply use one of the
previous of just being there,offering that support,
emotionally or physicallypresence, but just being
(08:47):
understanding and patient in theprocess.
Number six forgive and let go.
Why does this matter?
Well, love doesn't hold grudgesand it's easy to harbor
resentment, but letting go ofpast hurts is essential for
healthy relationships.
Forgiveness opens the door forhealing and even reconnection.
(09:09):
It doesn't mean there's alwaysgoing to be a reconnection, but
at least it opens the door forhealing and that's important for
both parties.
How we can apply it is ifsomeone has wronged, you choose
to forgive, not for their sakeit's not saying that what they
did was okay or justifying it,or excusing it or allowing it
(09:29):
but it's for your own peace ofmind.
So let go of negative emotionsthat just might prevent you from
fully loving others.
Number seven support theirdreams and goals.
Why it matters is becausesupporting someone's aspirations
shows love and encourages themto be their best selves.
(09:50):
When you champion their dreams,it shows you care about their
personal growth and happiness.
How can we apply this?
Well, whether it's offeringencouragement or practical help,
support others in pursuingtheir dreams, help them
celebrate their achievements andbe there to cheer them on
through their challenges.
I always want to be thosearound me, their biggest
(10:11):
advocate, their biggestcheerleader, because I love,
whether it be at work, seeingpeople rise up even more or
higher than I am.
I want to see them excel, but,of course, with my own family
and especially my children, Iwant to see them soar.
So don't worry about blowingout someone else's candles to
(10:32):
make your shine even brighter.
That's not how it works.
Support others' dreams andgoals because you want what's
best for them.
That's love.
Number eight create a safe,nonjudgmental space Now, we've
mentioned this a few timeswithout criticism in different
aspects.
Why does it matter?
(10:53):
People show their love bycreating safe spaces where
others feel comfortable, beingvulnerable and authentic.
A nonjudgmental space is wherepeople can express themselves
without fear of criticism.
We want people to be genuinelywho they are and to be able to
relax.
I love for people to come overto my home and just feel a safe
(11:15):
space.
My kids have had friends allthroughout their lifetime that
have come over here and seen ourhome as their safety net, and
I'm so thankful for that,because that's where we're able
to have some deep conversations.
That's also where healing canbegin, is where people feel safe
.
So how do you apply it?
Be open and accepting ofothers' feelings, of whatever
(11:37):
they've experienced and even oftheir opinions.
We're not always going to agreeon things, and you know what?
I'm, quite frankly glad that wedon't.
I enjoy hearing other people'sopinions and learning from their
perspectives.
It doesn't mean that it's goingto change my mind, but it also
helps my mind grow and evensometimes help me to hold a
(11:59):
stronger belief, even morestrongly because of what I've
learned seeing through someoneelse's eyes.
But I want them to be able tofeel like they can come over and
have a safe space where theycan share those feelings and
experiences and opinions with me, even if I'm going to differ.
Especially when I'm going todiffer, we could also encourage
(12:19):
vulnerability and create anenvironment where people feel
safe to be themselves.
They shouldn't have to put on afacade to be around us.
I don't want that.
I want someone to be genuinearound me and vulnerable, and be
able to have conversations thatare down to the core, but
knowing that we still haverespect and care for one another
(12:40):
.
Number nine be kind to yourself.
Oh, this one matters for manyreasons.
Loving others starts withloving ourself.
Self-compassion is vital forbuilding resilience and healthy
relationships.
When you treat yourself withkindness, you're better equipped
to show love to others.
(13:01):
Now we can apply this by takingtime for self-care, practice
self-acceptance and allow ourself-grace when we make mistakes
.
Your own well-being matters,and loving yourself creates a
foundation for loving othersauthentically.
Number 10, practice empathy.
Why does it matter?
(13:21):
Well, love is rooted in empathy, the ability to understand and
share the feelings of another.
It allows you to connect withothers on a deeper level and
offer support that's meaningfulto them.
We can apply this throughsimply putting yourself in
someone else's shoes and try tounderstand their perspective
before reacting.
(13:42):
Offer support and validation byacknowledging their feelings,
even if you don't fullyunderstand or even agree with
them.
Number 11, celebrate and sharethe joy.
It matters, because love isn'tjust about being there in tough
times.
It's about celebrating the goodmoments too.
Sharing in someone's joys helpsdeepen your bond and shows you
(14:05):
care about their happiness.
How can you apply it?
Celebrate those milestones andachievements and happy moments
with others, whether that'sbirthdays, a promotion or just a
win in your personal life.
Acknowledging and sharing theirjoy is a beautiful way to show
love.
As we've expanded our herd,that is something I think has
(14:26):
caught some of our additions ona little off guard is our family
loves to celebrate each otherand we love to celebrate
together.
So, whether that be a promotion, we want to go celebrate that A
hard decision that was made, welove to celebrate together.
So, whether that be a promotion, we want to go celebrate that A
hard decision that was made.
We want to go celebrate that Atest that was aced or just
passed, because we knew howgrueling that person was having
(14:47):
to deal with that test or what aproblematic situation might
have been that they've overcome.
We want to celebrate that.
We want to cheer them on.
We love to celebrate each otherand we love to celebrate
whether it be through the toughtimes, overcoming or celebrating
and sharing the joys that we gothrough in those milestones.
(15:10):
So celebrate and share the joy.
Number 12, spread love throughyour actions.
Why it matters is love isn'tjust about words, it's about
what you do.
You often hear that, where well, actions speak louder than
words, so we'll see if thatperson follows through.
Your actions do speak louderthan anything you can say.
(15:32):
So how we can apply this isshow love in practical ways.
You say something matters toyou, volunteer your time, donate
to a cause you care about orhelp others in need.
Love, when shared with theworld, has such a ripple effect.
And our final two are two of myfavorites and, I feel, most
(15:53):
important.
That is number 13,.
Pray for others.
Why does it matter?
James 5.16 tells us that prayeris powerful and effective.
Praying for others puts theirneeds above our own.
It's praying for their good andthe outcome of whatever they're
going through.
(16:13):
It's praying to help encourageand lift them up.
And because you have a deepcare that you want to do so,
your heart is showing theempathy and taking time to go
before the Lord on their behalf.
And we can apply it simply byreaching out by text, a phone
(16:35):
call or simply asking people inconversation how may I pray for
you today or this week and then,in your quiet time, pray for
them Now we're not praying for avery pointed pray that they
come to their senses.
We're not necessarily prayingthat they'll understand our way
(16:55):
or perspective.
No, we're praying for them, forGod to meet them where they're
at, to meet each need, toprovide where he would, to help
provide discernment and wisdomand guidance, to bless them, to
love them, to forgive them, toencourage them.
There are so many things thatwe can pray for for others Now.
Bonus points for following upwith them, perhaps the next week
(17:16):
, or even following somethingthey've asked you to pray for
and then asking how it went orhow they're doing.
A simple, any update.
Oh, the power in praying forothers.
I am so thankful for those inmy life who have loved me enough
to genuinely go before thethrone of God and pray for me.
(17:40):
Number 14, learn, share andexpress love languages.
Now to really unpack this, youcan check out Holly's Highlights
, season 3, episode 3.
And, in fact, not only there.
We do cover a deep dive intolove languages based on author
Gary Chapman's the Five LoveLanguages, but also, if you just
(18:03):
look back through many of theseasons and episodes here on
Holly's Highlights, you're goingto find different episodes that
take you deeper on whether itbe being present.
There's one around Christmastime, I think, the second year,
on the gift of being present, ormany that are around November
of each year on expressinggratitude.
(18:25):
So feel free to check back onsome of those dreams and goals.
Many of these are pertinent.
They're expressing empathy.
But especially here in thisepisode of season three, episode
three, we go through the lovelanguages and why they're so
important for us to learn whatours are but then also learn
what those are around us so thatwe can best show them love.
(18:49):
Because it's one thing to say Iwant to express love, but it's
another to do so in a way.
People actually receive it asthat.
But in a nutshell, these fivelove languages are gifts, and
that matters because thoughtfulsurprises show that you're
thinking about someone and careabout their happiness.
It's not about the grandgestures, necessarily, but about
(19:10):
finding ways to make their dayspecial.
It can be something even simple.
How we apply it is surprisingyour partner with their favorite
coffee, or write a handwrittennote to a friend, send a text,
just check in and see howsomeone's day is going.
Simple things can be done, butthese small surprises can make
(19:31):
someone feel so deeply cared for.
Another love language is qualitytime.
Why it matters is because oneof the most precious gifts that
you can give is your time.
So many people vie for our time.
It is a gift.
It shows that you value theperson and are willing to invest
in your relationship with them.
(19:52):
My dad used to always be soannoyed when someone would take
a phone call when they're intheir loved one's presence, or
even in his presence, whether itbe a meeting or just out
golfing or at a game orsomething because he'd say what
you do matters with a phone callcoming in shows who's most
important to you, who you valuewhere you value the person that
(20:13):
you're with or the personcalling in on the phone.
So he's actually one that'staught me that if my phone is
ringing and I'm with my children, my focus is on them.
They are the most importantwith me at that moment.
And just recently my son and Iwent to Disneyland and I went to
go grab my phone to take apicture and it rang as I pulled
it up and of course I swiped outlike no, I'm with my son and he
(20:36):
looked at me and he said thanksfor not taking that call, mom.
So they see, spend that qualitytime.
Other ways on how to apply thisis just setting aside time for
meaningful activities with lovedones, whether that's going for
a walk, having a deepconversation or simply hanging
out.
Quality time shows love in avery tangible way.
(20:59):
Third, love language is words ofaffirmation.
Now, why it matters iscompliments are a simple yet
powerful way to show love andappreciation.
When you compliment someone,you affirm their value and you
boost their confidence.
This is easy to apply.
You can be specific and sincere.
Of course, no one wants just acompliment when it's not really
(21:22):
genuine right.
We tend to know when those areand we know people who are known
for such comments Instead of ageneric compliment are known for
such comments Instead of ageneric compliment like you look
great, try something moremeaningful, such as your energy
today is contagious and I lovehow you made everyone feel
welcome.
Things like that just go a bitdeeper for those who really
(21:42):
value that words of affirmationBe very specific to them.
I know for me, my love languageis words of affirmation, and if
I'm in a room and someone says,oh, you guys did great on that
project, well done on that, I donot hear a single word of that
toward me and my love languageis words of affirmation.
The reason being is because Ialways want my team to feel
(22:05):
loved, so I'm going to be theircheerleader of yeah, you guys
did great.
Even if I'm a part of that, Iactually need the very specific.
Holly, I really appreciated howyou did this and the outcome
was this and that affected thisand that was great.
I need it to be very specificand not just a generic
compliment.
Otherwise, even though it iswords of affirmation, it'll fall
(22:29):
on deaf ears.
So be very careful that it isgenuine, it's authentic and it's
personalized.
The fourth love language is actsof service.
Now, why it matters is becausekindness is one of the most
tangible forms of love.
Little actions, like helping afriend with a task, offering a
(22:49):
thoughtful gesture or even asmile, can have a big impact.
Now, for those of us who don'thave acts of service as their
main love language, we kind ofscoff at that a little bit,
right, and we think that's alittle too simple.
But for those who have acts ofservice as their love language,
those things go so far inreaching them and showing them
(23:12):
love and that they're seen andvalued and appreciated.
So how we can apply these forthose who need the acts of
service to feel the love is holdthe door open for someone,
leave a kind note for acolleague, or surprise a loved
one with their favorite snack ora thoughtful message.
These small gestures add up andthey truly brighten someone's
(23:36):
day.
The fifth one is physical touch.
Why does it matter?
Well, according topsychologytodaycom, touch can
actually calm the nervous systemand slow down our heartbeat.
It can lower blood pressure aswell as cortisol.
A study at Berkeley revealedthe importance of physical touch
in early development, improvingcommunication, building
(24:00):
personal relationships and evenfighting diseases.
There can be so much power,security and feeling of
well-being in touch.
So how can you apply it?
Well, this does depend on therelationship and what would be
appropriate.
I had a coworker years agowhose love language was physical
touch and he literally neededme just to pat him on the back
(24:23):
or give him a high five now andthen.
That was appropriate.
I could do that and it waseffective, whereas my son's
physical touch love language isin need of me hugging him or
snuggling on the couch to watcha movie together.
Again, depends on therelationship and what would be
appropriate within that contextas to what that looks like for
physical touch.
(24:44):
So which of these ways ofshowing love resonates most with
you, or is there a particularaspect you want to focus on in
your relationships or even inyour leadership?
Sometimes it's taking thatfirst step in showing love that
can be the hardestMisperceptions that to show love
is a weakness or fear of beingvulnerable.
(25:04):
Even past experiences that canmake it challenging to express.
Well, as Francine Rivers saidin the movie Redeeming Love, one
of my all-time favorite movies,for some of us, one mile can be
more to walk than 30.
So this week, go ahead andstart with baby steps by trying
(25:25):
to show love in at least twodifferent ways, whether that's a
compliment, a kind gesture ortruly listening to someone.
Then share your experience withus over on today's episode's
post on Facebook at Holly'sHighlights, or on Instagram at
Holly Kirby.
That's H-O-L-L-Y-C-U-R-B-Y.
(25:45):
Showing love in life is aboutcultivating genuine connections.
It's about demonstrating careand embracing kindness in both
big and small ways, Whether it'sthrough actions, words or one
of the 14 ways mentioned earlier.
Love has the power to createand elevate deep and meaningful
relationships, to create trust,to foster a sense of belonging,
(26:10):
as it makes people feel seen andheard, valued and appreciated.
It offers kindness andauthentically connects people,
all while bringing a little morejoy into the world.
Similar to what Gandhi has saidinstead of waiting for others
to do it, go ahead and show thelove you want to see in this
world.
(26:30):
After all, 1 Corinthiansreminds us and now these three
remain faith, hope and love, butthe greatest of these is love.
Thank you for joining me onthis journey of life.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I hope that today's highlight has been encouraging,
inspiring and equipping so youcan go out and live your life
full of purpose.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
I'd be honored if you'd take a moment to leave a
review or, better yet, subscribe.
We can also stay in touch byjoining my email list at
hollykirbycom, that's H-O-L-L-Y,c-u-r-b-y dot com.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Until next time, make it a great day for a great day.
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