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June 3, 2025 15 mins

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Standing at the edge of my daughter's high school graduation, I found myself reflecting on eighteen years ago, holding my heart's desire in my arms. Suddenly here she was - cap, gown, and all grown up. This milestone hit differently as a single parent, bringing both overwhelming pride and that bittersweet ache of letting go.

What messages do we send to a time we will never see through our children? What does it mean to provide both roots and wings? Through tears and celebration, I've discovered five powerful life lessons from this graduation threshold that apply to everyone navigating change: your identity isn't what you achieve but who you belong to; you can step forward without having everything figured out; presence matters more than perfection; letting go is a sacred spiritual practice; and your best days aren't behind you - they're ahead.

Whether you're a parent watching your child take flight, a graduate stepping into the unknown, or anyone moving through life's inevitable transitions, this episode offers both comfort and courage for the journey. As Maya Angelou reminded us, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." Join me in exploring how to embrace these breathtaking moments with faith, purpose, and the confidence that you're not lost - you're simply in motion. Share this episode with someone facing a significant life transition who needs to hear they're not alone on their journey.

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Visit www.hollycurby.com for more information and to sign up for the monthly Holly's Happenings e-newsletter. Holly's Highlights podcast and the opinions and ideas shared within it are for entertainment purposes only. The advice should be confirmed with a qualified professional.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi friends, welcome to Holly's Highlights, a podcast
designed to encourage, inspireand equip you to intentionally
live your life full of purpose.
I'm your host, holly Kirby,motivational speaker, leadership
cultivator, marketingstrategist and personal
cheerleader.
Let's check out today'shighlights.
Hey friends, if you've beenlistening in these past couple

(00:24):
of episodes, you're probablyrealizing they're a little
different.
They are very personal and I'mhearing from some of you they
are even emotional, so I guess Ineed to add a caution to if
you're driving and tears startmaking it unsafe to drive,
please pull over.
We've just had so much going onin milestones and moments and,

(00:45):
as I've shared before, I reallystrive to be raw and real and
vulnerable with you in hopes toencourage, inspire and even
equip, as I may in just beinghelpful to everyone in this
space, to be more intentional inliving our life full of purpose
.
You know if I'm being honest.
Today's episode, though, is onethat was hard to record,

(01:06):
because my heart is just so full, and yet I'm confident I'm
going to miss something or wishI had shared this or that which,
in my squirrel brain thoughts,I'll probably overthink and
recall a week or two from now,but this past week has just been
beautiful and full andpurposeful, and I've just been
so grateful.
It has been my daughter'sgraduation week from high school

(01:29):
, and there's so much I couldsay, and yet I just don't know
if words can fully express whatthis moment of her graduation
has meant.
So, whether you're a fellowparent, a graduate or just
someone navigating a season ofchange, I hope this speaks to
you.
You know, maya Angelou, as I'veshared before, has said life is
not measured by the number ofbreaths we take, but by the

(01:51):
moments that take our breathaway.
And 18 years ago I held myheart's desire in my arms, and
she didn't come with a manual,but she sure came with a heart
that instantly became part of myown.
She's grown up now, not justtaller or wiser, but also braver
and more courageous and ever sostrong.
She's made me laugh when I justdidn't think I could and taught

(02:14):
me to trust God in ways I neverimagined that I'd need to.
There were long nights andtears and prayers whispered in
the dark and joy so deep it madethe hard moments worth it.
Being a single parent wasn'twhat I expected.
It's not a road that I wouldhave chosen, but God has
protected and provided andsustained me through it.

(02:34):
And, above all, he's blessed merichly as I've had the honor of
walking alongside my daughterthese 18 years, having shared
more moments that take my breathaway than I can even count.
And as we drew closer tograduation day, we did all the
things.
We picked out the dresses forfinal dances and cheered at
final games, attended finalawards nights, even sent out

(02:57):
announcements.
Of course, some of them didn'tmake them out.
I'm so sorry they'reembarrassingly coming.
We even secured tickets to theafter party, which was in true
fashion for my daughter.
Not a traditional open house,but she wanted to just simply
have our family gather at arodeo, something she really
enjoys doing.

(03:17):
But you know, as she prepared towalk across that graduation
stage, I found myselfquestioning a lot.
As John F Kennedy said,children are the living messages
we send to a time we will notsee.
Think about that for a moment.
There's so much I've learnedfrom these 18 years of raising
my baby girl, and yet I keptthinking what else could I have

(03:37):
done to be more positivelyimpacting in her life?
What will be her takeaways andwhat do I hope she remembers
through these years or takesinto that time I don't see?
American philosopher Henry DavidThoreau said go confidently in
the direction of your dreams,live the life you have imagined.
As I sat there watching mydaughter step across that stage,

(04:00):
I saw more than a cap and agown.
I saw courage and resilienceand a future full of promise.
You know, there's so much thatall of us parents, students,
friends we can see and learnfrom the sacred threshold called
graduation.
Well, let me first start withmy daughter, and then you and I

(04:21):
will regroup.
Baby girl, in the words ofWinnie the Pooh, you are braver
than you believe, stronger thanyou seem and smarter than you
think.
You don't need to have all theanswers and life is not a
checklist but, as I've alwaysasked you, what's the most

(04:48):
important part about life?
Having Jesus in your heart.
Deuteronomy 31.8 says the Lordhimself goes before you and will
be with you.
He will never leave you norforsake you.
Do not be afraid, do not bediscouraged.
You know that verse.
That's been on repeat in myheart for weeks, as you and I
have lived it for over a decade,and although I know you're
strong and fiercely independent,you're not stepping out alone.
You're stepping forward withhim.
As I've shared with you before,the best way to be in the

(05:11):
center of God's will tomorrow isto be in the center of God's
will today.
You know you've already made meproud, not because of
achievements, but because ofyour integrity, your character,
your strength.
When no one was watching,you've kept your feet rooted in
the Lord and there is no greaterjoy than to know you walk in
his truth.
So go, fly, but never forgetwhere home is.

(05:35):
You literally are my heart,walking out and about in this
world.
I will always be your biggestfan and God will always be your
firm foundation.
Now for the rest of us.
What can we learn from agraduation?
Well, this moment, this cap andgown, this letting go, it's not

(05:56):
just about a girl walkingacross the stage.
It's about transitions, it'sabout growth, both scary and
sacred, and it's about the wayGod uses seasons to shape all of
us.
So what can we learn and whatactions can we actually apply
from the results of that?
Well, I believe there's fivethat we can look at briefly

(06:17):
together today.
The first one your identityisn't what you achieve, it's who
you belong to.
American screenwriter BoBennett said success is not what
you have, but who you are.
We live in a world that saysyou are what you produce.
On the contrary, scripture saysif we believe in him, then,

(06:38):
according to 1 John 3, 1, youare a child of God.
Our titles may change, ourseasons sure will change, but we
can start each day this weekwith a one minute affirmation or
prayer of simply God remind mewho I am in you.
Second, we can step forwardwithout having it all figured

(07:02):
out.
I am 45 years old and stilltrying to figure things out.
Martin Luther King Jr said faithis taking the first step, even
when you don't see the wholestaircase.
Life isn't just one straightline.
Sometimes it's going to zig,sometimes it's going to zag,
it's even going to detour.
I am living proof of that andyou know what.

(07:23):
That's okay.
Proverbs 3, 5 through 6, myfavorite life verse, tells us to
trust in the Lord with all yourheart.
Lean not to your ownunderstanding In all your ways.
Acknowledge him and he willdirect your path.
So lean not on your ownunderstanding.
If we try to understandeverything in life, we are going

(07:44):
to go crazy.
Step forward in faith, myfriends.
So what's one uncertain area inyour life?
Write it down, commit it toprayer for the next seven days.
Invite God into that space.
Number three presence is morepowerful than perfection.
Some of the most importantmoments in life are the quiet

(08:07):
ones.
You know the car rides, thelate night talks, which my son
is really good at doing, therandom I love you's.
The setting doesn't have to beperfect and you don't have to
look or be perfect either.
And, by George, the timingisn't always going to be perfect
or convenient.
There isn't a single time mydaughter has said want to go

(08:27):
grab food or want to go for adrive that I haven't done it.
Her love language is qualitytime.
So I know that's my opportunityto show my love to her in a way
she receives it.
If you want to find out moreabout love languages, I believe
that's season three, episodethree here on Holly's Highlights
.
But oh, the power of beingpresent.

(08:47):
So pause today, put your phonedown, look someone you love in
the eyes and really see them bewhere your feet are.
Number four letting go is aspiritual practice, whether
you're a parent letting go of achild or someone letting go of
control, dreams, expectations,release is part of faith.

(09:09):
There are many things, manydreams I've had to let go of.
Former United States AssistantSecretary of State for Public
Affairs, hodding Carter sharedthere are two lasting bequests
we can give our children.
One is roots, the other iswings.
Letting go isn't a loss, it's agift.
It's trusting God with whatwe've nurtured all these years.

(09:32):
Gift it's trusting God withwhat we've nurtured all these
years.
I have prayed nearly everynight at the door of my daughter
that she and I would always beclose, but that she would be
even closer with the Lord.
As parents, this is part ofwhat we've been striving for to
raise children to becomeindependent, hardworking adults
who can not only survive butthrive in this world as they

(09:53):
make a positive impact in it tofly.
So ask God what am I holdingtoo tightly?
Then, in prayer, offer it backto him.
I personally know God has fargreater plans for my daughter
than I could ever put together.
I trust him and I want the bestfor her.

(10:13):
So I know I have to hold herloosely so that God can use her
in ways that are for her goodand for his glory.
Number five the best is notbehind you, it's ahead.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said whatlies behind us and what lies
before us are tiny matterscompared to what lies within us.

(10:36):
You know, graduation isn't anending.
It's a launch.
Whether you're 18 or 80, god'snot finished with your story.
Philippians 1.6 tells us, hewho began a good work in you
will carry it on to completion.
Oh how I am still trying tofigure this one out, because
behind me are priceless memorieswith my mother when she was

(10:57):
still alive, and in the moment Icherish how things are with my
daughter and my son and I underone roof.
And yet I know that God hasgreat things ahead.
He's not finished writing anyof our stories.
So might I encourage you and Iboth to set a faith growth goal.
Read a psalm each morningjournal, join a Bible study.

(11:19):
Just do one small thing to growforward.
May you and I both let go whenwe need to hold on to what
matters and trust that God isstill working, especially in the
unknown.
As we're reminded inEcclesiastes 3.1, to everything

(11:39):
there is a season and a time toevery purpose under the heaven.
The season is sacred, whetheryou're letting go, stepping
forward or simply wondering ifyou're To my daughter, you're
ready, I see you, I believe inyou and, more importantly, god

(12:01):
sees you and he's gone beforeyou.
You've got this and he's gotyou To.
Every parent listening, yourlove has not been in vain.
Your sacrifices are seeds, andthis moment, this is harvest.
If you haven't heard it before,go listen to the song Flowers
by Samantha Ebert.

(12:22):
Of course, make sure to havesome tissues handy.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
To every graduatecongratulations.
Make sure to thank those whowalked beside you on your
journey, ideally in a way thatwill honor their love language.
Your life is not just a blankslate that will honor their love
language.

(12:42):
Your life is not just a blankslate.
It's a divine assignment.
So walk boldly, be intentional,be kind, dream big and trust
him with each and every step andto everyone in transition.
You are not lost.
You are simply in motion.
So keep going.
Don't look down or behind.
Keep your eyes fixated to theauthor and perfecter of your

(13:04):
faith.
Thanks for spending this timewith me.
If this episode touched you,send it to someone stepping into
a new season.
Encourage them, love them, walkwith them.
I am still just flabbergasted.
Okay, my daughter would be alittle embarrassed I used that
word, but regardless, I wassitting at my daughter's
graduation when I got a pictureof her graduating from a

(13:26):
precious friend of mine.
Talk about one who sits in itwith you.
She showed up to watch mydaughter graduate.
The time that she took thedrive.
It was the parking craziness,then all of the mass of people.
I am so touched by herfriendship of encouraging and
loving and walking with me ohthat I might be that to another.

(13:47):
Thank you.
Now, if you'd like to receive afree reflection guide based on
today's episode, make sure tojoin our free monthly email,
holly's Happenings.
Simply go to wwwhollykirbycomthat's H-O-L-L-Y-C-U-R-B-Ycom,
and click on the join the emailbutton.

(14:08):
Congratulations graduates,congratulations parents and
guardians and those who haveloved and walked beside them.
Well, well, this is your newseason.
Step boldly, step confidently,step in faith and go, enjoy your

(14:28):
journey.
Thank you for joining me onthis journey of life.
I hope that today's highlighthas been encouraging, inspiring
and equipping so you can go outand live your life full of
purpose.
I'd be honored if you'd take amoment to leave a review or,
better yet, subscribe.
We can also stay in touch byjoining my email list at
hollykirbycom, that's H-O-L-L-Y,c-u-r-b-y dot com.

(14:54):
Until next time, make it agreat day for a great day.
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