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May 13, 2025 12 mins

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Ever felt the emotional whiplash from breakfast in bed on Mother's Day to Monday morning chaos with dishes piled high and everyone asking what's for dinner? This honest conversation dives into what happens when the flowers fade and we're left wondering if we're making any difference at all.

Drawing from personal experience as both a mother and daughter who's lost her mom, I explore the bittersweet reality behind Mother's Day celebrations and offer practical wisdom for carrying the spirit of motherhood through all 365 days of the year. We unpack the original purpose of Mother's Day—honoring mothers whose sons died in war—reminding us that this holiday has always held both celebration and grief.

Whether you're a biological mother, spiritual mentor, or someone who nurtures others in any capacity, you'll discover three powerful strategies to sustain you beyond the greeting cards: anchoring in your God-given identity, living with intentional faith in small daily actions, and building genuine community to combat isolation. Through vulnerable stories and biblical insights from Psalms 139, Galatians 6:9, and 1 Thessalonians 5:11, we'll confront those nagging questions of worth and impact that visit us in quiet moments.

Your legacy isn't built through grand gestures or perfect performances but through consistent, faithful presence—often in unseen moments that may never receive applause. If you've ever felt invisible, underappreciated, or questioned whether you're enough, this episode offers the gentle reminder that what you do matters, especially when no one's watching. Join me for this heart-to-heart conversation about trading perfection for presence and finding your worth in truth rather than thank-yous.

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Visit www.hollycurby.com for more information and to sign up for the monthly Holly's Happenings e-newsletter. Holly's Highlights podcast and the opinions and ideas shared within it are for entertainment purposes only. The advice should be confirmed with a qualified professional.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, friend, welcome to Holly's Highlights, a podcast
designed to encourage, inspireand equip you to intentionally
live your life full of purpose.
I'm your host, holly Kirby,motivational speaker, leadership
cultivator, marketingstrategist and personal
cheerleader.
Let's check out today'shighlights.
Hi, friends, I'm so glad you'rehere.

(00:23):
Whether you're listening, witha coffee cup in hand, on your
morning commute, folding laundry, or even taking your evening
walk, I want you to know you'reseen, you're valued and you
being in the space isappreciated.
I am so grateful to have beenable to spend Mother's Day with
my family herd yesterday Sundayschool with my ladies to fill me
socially in the morning, churchto fill me spiritually.

(00:44):
Lunch to definitely fill mephysically and, of course, time
together playing mini golf tofill me mentally.
I actually had to juggle sevenpeople playing golf while having
conversations and playing minigolf myself.
It was a little bit of a mentalchallenge, but we did it and no
, I did not win.
I cherish each and every momentwith my people and I'm just so

(01:06):
thankful for the gift of momentslike yesterday.
Let's be honest, though Mother'sDay can be beautiful, you know.
We tend to think of prettyflowers and cute dresses and
dainty tea parties, but it canalso be complicated.
After all, according to timecom, back on May 8th of 1914,
congress passed a law declaringthe second Sunday of May as

(01:26):
Mother's Day, and then the nextday, president Woodrow Wilson
proclaimed it as an officialholiday.
But it was meant to honormothers whose sons had died in
war.
Now, maybe you were celebratedon Mother's Day, or maybe you
felt forgotten or left out.
Maybe, like me, your mama haspassed away, or maybe you're
grieving the mother you neverhad.

(01:46):
Maybe you're grieving the childwho passed away too soon, or
even an estranged child you miss, or even the child you're still
praying for.
Psalms 34, 18 tells us the Lordis close to the brokenhearted
and he saves those who arecrushed in spirit.
But here's the truth Mother'sDay was never meant to be the

(02:07):
only day that we honor women whonurture, lead and love.
It's a moment.
However, the legacy ofmotherhood is lived every day.
Billy Graham said the influenceof a mother upon the lives of
her children cannot be measured.
So let's talk about what itmeans to live that influence
each and every day, whetheryou're a mom, a spiritual mom, a

(02:30):
mentor or just someone doingyour best to love people.
Well, this episode is for youand for being real.
The day after Mother's Day canfeel a little bit off.
Sometimes, you know you go fromflowers and breakfast in bed
and handwritten cards to dishesin the sink, the milk left out,
laundry to be done and familywondering what's for dinner.
Or maybe it's quiet, just tooquiet, and you start

(02:55):
entertaining thoughts in yourhead wondering did I or do I
make a difference?
Your value should not be ratedon the applause or recognition
you get, but rather your impactis built through the consistent,
quiet, perseverance, oftenunseen decisions and actions
that reflect your integrity,your commitment and your purpose
over time.

(03:15):
You know the hugs, the prayers,the midnight feedings, the
verses whispered when no onehears.
But heaven, that's kingdom work, my friends, the legacy of
motherhood.
It's not just in moments, it'sin the ministry of the mundane.
I often have to cling toColossians 3.23.
Whatever you do, work at itwith all your heart as working

(03:36):
for the Lord, not for humanmasters.
So how do we take the heart ofMother's Day and carry it into
the other 364 days of the year?
Well, let's focus on threepractical ways.
First one is to anchor in youridentity.
Don't let a greeting carddefine your worth.
Go to God's word.
Psalm 139 says you arefearfully and wonderfully made,

(03:59):
not because of what you do, butbecause of who made you Might.
I encourage you to write thatdown, psalm 139, and any other
verses that remind you of whoyou are.
Put them where you'll see themin your car, on your mirror as
you get ready in the morning,sticky notes on your laptop,
whatever works for you.
Now I do have to share kind of afunny fact here.

(04:20):
I used to write verses with adry erase marker on the bathroom
mirror, but then my childrengot upset with me saying that
that's not where we're supposedto write on things.
So I stopped as not to confusethem, as I didn't want them to
start graffiting up things andsaying well, my mom taught me
how to do this.
Oh, the things we think aboutas a mama.
Number two live intentionallyFaith-filled.

(04:43):
Motherhood is about stewardship,whether it's your time, your
words or your influence.
Plant seeds today for a harvesttomorrow.
Galatians 6, 9 tells us.
Let us not grow weary in doinggood, for at the proper time we
will reap a harvest if we do notgive up.
So choose one small thing thatyou can do each day that aligns

(05:06):
with the legacy you want toleave.
It might be a prayer you sayfor your children as you drop
them off at school or head in tostart your workday.
I've even prayer walked everyoffice I've worked in.
Or maybe it's a text toencourage another mom.
I try to take a moment beforebed to think is there anyone
from my day who I should followup with, sending a quick text to
encourage them?

(05:26):
Maybe it's simply a moment toslow down and listen.
I've shared before that my dadhas taught us kids that we have
one mouth and two ears.
For a reason Listen more thanwe speak.
But I got some great advicefrom an author, arlene Pelican,
who we've had here on season two, I think believe episode 29,
about parenting and screen timefor kids.

(05:47):
Well, she advised to physicallyturn your body to who you're
listening to and then make eyecontact with them.
I've really tried to adapt thatwith my children.
Remember, consistency isgreater than grand gestures.
Though To go a little deeper onthis one, you may wanna listen
to the episode how Do you WantTo Be Remembered?
On season two, episode 16 hereon Holly's Highlights, number

(06:11):
three build community.
You know the enemy lovesisolation.
So find your people, the oneswho see you and cheer for you
and pray for you, and if youdon't have that yet, ask God,
maybe even take the first stepby reaching out to someone else
who might feel alone themselves.
1 Thessalonians 5.11 reminds us.

(06:32):
Therefore, encourage oneanother and build each other up.
We need one another.
When my former husband walkeddown, I went into isolation, out
of what I felt was trying to berespectful to him, to be able
to return home and not face allthe shame and the embarrassment.
But I got to tell you after ourdivorce, when I stepped back
into community, it was soencouraging and uplifting to

(06:53):
know I had people around me tolove on me and hold me
accountable and care about me.
I personally feel the bestplace for this is church.
I am so grateful for my peoplethrough churches from throughout
my entire life who literallywalk life with me in different
seasons.
But you can also build yourcommunity with neighbors, school
work, the gym, networkinggroups, interest groups, you

(07:15):
name it.
I'm grateful for a friend Ihave on Facebook where if I
don't post for a bit, she checksin For another from church who
reaches out to just see howthings are going.
Your community doesn't have tobe large, after all.
As Dr Seuss put it, to theworld you may be one person, but
to one person you may be theworld.
You know, years from now, mykids probably won't remember

(07:38):
what I got for a certainMother's Day, or even what we
did on that particular day, butthey'll remember if, throughout
life, I was consistently present, if I prayed with them, if I
apologized when I messed up, ifI owned my mistakes, if I lived
what I taught.
That's the legacy.
So let's not chase a perfectperformance, but let's pursue a

(08:00):
faithful presence.
Now, if you've been here inthis space for long it has been
six seasons after all, with over125 episodes.
Thank you so much.
But then you know, I like tokeep it real.
I'm an open book, so I sharethis, not for woe is me, but to
be vulnerable with you, in caseyou need to realize you're not
alone.
There have been many, many timesI have felt not enough, unseen,

(08:25):
unappreciated.
And that question posed earlierabout what impact am I making?
Am I making a difference?
Yeah, that's crossed my mindtoo, but I have learned that I
have to take captive those everythoughts and make them obedient
to God.
I have learned that I have totake captive those every
thoughts and make them obedientto God, I've had to remind
myself I too am human and I'mgoing to make mistakes.
But that doesn't define who Iam nor negate all of my efforts,

(08:48):
my track record throughout myentire lifetime.
So I seek to not look for thereturn, so to speak, but to
realize everyone makes their ownchoices and my impact on others
isn't going to equal perfectionin them, nor should it.
But I choose to thank God forthose moments I do get to see or
even hear about the impact, asI take that as an encouragement.

(09:10):
On those other, less than days,you know that moment I come
home from time for myself,getting a pedicure and spending
time at my mother's grave, tofind one of my children had
completed all their chores andeven did extra just to try and
make things a little bit nicerfor me when I came home For that
decision another child makesthat I hear about third hand.
That brings a smile to my faceand pride in my heart for how

(09:33):
well that child has turned out.
Just as we can't place our valueon our applause, we can't place
our impact on others'performances or choices either.
Although I do tell one of mychildren I literally pray for
them to get caught in wrongchoices, that corrective
behavior can happen before thosechoices turn into larger
consequences in life.
But, point being, we allexperience those questions,

(09:55):
those doubts, those insecurities.
You're not alone, friend.
I want to leave you with thisyou matter.
What you do matters Even whenno one's watching, especially
then.
If you're feeling tired, I prayyou find rest.
If you're feeling unseen, Ipray you feel known.
And if you're wondering whetheryou're making a difference,

(10:18):
well, you are right now, rightwhere you are.
So what are we going to do thisweek?
Not chase perfection, butpresence.
Not wait for applause, butanchor your value in truth and
don't walk it alone, but ratherbuild your circle and lean into

(10:39):
your faith.
If this episode encourages you,would you do two things?
First of all, share it with afriend who needs a little
post-Mother's Day boost andsecond, leave a review.
By doing so, it helps morewomen find the space of truth,
encouragement and grace.
Here on Holly's Highlights, andlet me know on Instagram, so
I'll add a third one or even inthe comments what does living a

(11:00):
legacy look like for you thisweek?
I'd love to hear from you.
I'll leave you with this yourworth is not defined by a date
on the calendar, my friends, northe number of thank yous you
receive or how put together youappear.
It's defined by the one whomade you, who sees you in every
unseen moment and who equips youto live out who he's created

(11:21):
you to be.
Until next time, keep showingup, keep shining your light, his
light, and remember you are notalone.
Happy Mother's Day.
Thank you for joining me onthis journey of life.
I hope that today's highlighthas been encouraging, inspiring
and equipping so you can go outand live your life full of

(11:44):
purpose.
I'd be honored if you'd take amoment to leave a review or,
better yet, subscribe.
We can also stay in touch byjoining my email list at
hollykirbycom, that's H-O-L-L-Y,c-u-r-b-y dot com.
Until next time.
Make it a great day for a greatday.
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