April 29, 2025 • 18 mins
Have you ever wished for someone to guide you through life's challenges, or wondered if you could be that guiding light for someone else? Mentorship might be the missing piece in your journey.
In this heartfelt exploration of mentorship, we unpack what it truly means to guide and be guided. Far more than just giving advice, mentorship creates a relationship of intentional growth, encouragement, and accountability.
The benefits speak volumes – professionally, mentored employees are five times more likely to be promoted and report greater satisfaction. Spiritually, mentorship embodies Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." We share practical steps for finding a mentor (pray, look around, start small, be consistent) and becoming a mentor (you don't need to have it all together, just be a step ahead and available).
Most importantly, we challenge the notion that you need to be perfect to mentor others. As one mentor wisely stated, "The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves." Whether you're guiding or being guided, mentorship offers mutual growth and the chance to make a lasting impact.
Ready to take that first step? Finding or becoming a mentor doesn't require a program or perfect timing – just a willingness to show up, listen well, and walk alongside another person in their journey. Share this episode with someone who might need this encouragement, and subscribe for more conversations that equip you to live with purpose.
Visit www.hollycurby.com for more information and to sign up for the monthly Holly's Happenings e-newsletter. Holly's Highlights podcast and the opinions and ideas shared within it are for entertainment purposes only. The advice should be confirmed with a qualified professional.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, friend, welcome to Holly's Highlights, a podcast
designed to encourage, inspireand equip you to intentionally
live your life full of purpose.
I'm your host, holly Kirby,motivational speaker, leadership
cultivator, marketingstrategist and personal
cheerleader.
Let's check out today'shighlights.
In a world of job changes,limited staffing and the ongoing
(00:25):
demands of time management,leaders of all levels are facing
the challenges of change.
Hiring a leadership coach hasbeen proven an effective
strategy at improvingperformance.
It can help your leaders tackleworkplace challenges, improve
team culture and even help theirleaders continue to grow and
fine-tune their leadershipstyles.
I currently have a few openingsto coach you or your leadership
(00:47):
team.
Whether it be scheduling two 30minute sessions a month or one
one hour session.
We'll work together to overcomechallenges of providing
difficult feedback, growing inself-awareness as a leader, and
implement successful tacticsthat becoming a leader Others
want to follow.
Connect with me online at hollykirbycom or email me at contact
(01:08):
at hollykirbycom.
That's H-O-L-L-Y-C-U-R-B-Y.
In the words of physician andanthropologist and former
president of the World Bank, jimYong Kim, one of the most
important things aboutleadership is that you have to
have the kind of humility thatwill allow you to be coached.
Hi, friends, today's episode isabout something powerful
(01:32):
mentorship, what it is, why itmatters and how it can be used
to shape our purpose and evenstretch our faith.
Now, whether you're hoping tofind a mentor, thinking about
becoming one, or if you're evenjust feeling stuck in between,
this conversation is going togive you tools and truth and
encouragement to take that nextstep.
So, first things first.
(01:52):
What is mentorship?
Well, let's start with thebasics.
A mentor is someone who offersguidance, knowledge and support,
usually from a place ofexperience, to someone less
experienced, or often called amentee or protege.
But mentorship isn't just aboutgiving advice.
It's about listening,challenging, helping someone
grow into their potential.
(02:13):
It's a relationship ofintentional guidance,
encouragement and accountability.
But it's rooted in experienceand yet it's motivated by love.
Experience and yet it'smotivated by love.
In the Bible we see clearexamples of mentorship Moses and
Joshua.
Moses trained and encouragedJoshua to lead courageously.
(02:35):
This is found in Deuteronomy 31, 7 and 8.
Elijah and Elijah A powerfulpicture of calling, legacy and
spiritual anointing.
Paul and Timothy.
To Timothy, my true son in thefaith, 1 Timothy 1-2 tells us
Paul mentored Timothy not justin ministry but in godly
character.
And then, of course, jesus andthe disciples, the greatest
(02:55):
mentoring relationship of alltime teaching, correcting,
equipping and commissioning.
Former United StatesRepresentative John C Crosby
said that mentoring is a brainto pick, an ear to listen and a
push in the right direction.
Mentorship is also discipleshipin action, though Life-on-life
learning.
It's where wisdom gets passeddown.
(03:17):
It's designed for generationalwisdom and community growth.
The biggest mentor influence inmy life was my mother.
She was intentional.
Each and every day she pouredinto teaching me and she was my
main source of learning andgrowing and then even
implementing what I learned fromher, whether professional
attributes or personal.
(03:38):
I could go to her with anythingand everything and I knew she'd
be honest and real and raw andeverything.
And I knew she'd be honest andreal and raw.
She'd listen, she'd help me,process and even offer her wise
counsel, whether from her ownexperiences or pointing me to
biblically sound principles.
Now, why should mentorshipmatter?
Well, there are both practicaland spiritual benefits to
(03:59):
mentorship.
Practical a survey of Forbesshows that 71% of Fortune 500
companies have mentoringprograms.
Ours is one of those withChick-fil-A.
According to Harvard BusinessReview, mentored employees are
five times more likely to bepromoted, and those with mentors
often report greater careersatisfaction, confidence and
(04:20):
personal development.
Now, on the flip side of that,those who mentor others often
excel in their leadership, growin empathy and compassion, and
they build patience and overalllife awareness.
The spiritual benefits tomentorship are shown in Proverbs
27, 17,.
As iron sharpens iron, so oneperson sharpens another.
Or in Titus 2, where it callsolder men and women to teach and
(04:45):
encourage the younger.
Passing down godliness andmentorship is part of the Great
Commission.
Teaching others to obey allJesus commanded in Matthew 28,
19 through 20.
American philosopher andpsychologist William James said
the greatest use of a life is tospend it for something that
will outlast it.
Mentorship is kingdom work.
(05:06):
You never know how a word ofencouragement or consistent
presence impacts others, and itcan even create that rippling
effect.
When I was a teenager, I had amentor who invested time with me
each week through a programcalled Act Teens.
Now this program helped melearn how to have a deeper care
about others and encourage themand even pray for them, although
(05:26):
I'd probably never even meetthem.
But little did she or I knowthat.
Her mentorship in my lifedeveloped a passion for missions
within me, although missions isoften termed for someone who is
sharing the gospel and makingdisciples of all nations.
You often hear the wordmissionary.
My passion became praying forand supporting, how I may, those
(05:46):
who would be going out, whetherthat be through finances and or
resources needed.
We've had many a missionaryhere on Holly's Highlights
podcast sharing about theirministry or nonprofit, which
we've then been invited to takepart in in one way or another,
and throughout the years, thiswoman has continued to send me
cards to connect, offered afriendly smile as we passed each
(06:07):
other at church, or even timegoing out for lunch.
The look of the mentorship haschanged, yes, but her impact on
my life has not.
So how do you find a mentor orhow do you be a mentor?
Well, let's talk about whatthis can look like practically.
Mentorship can happen in a lotof forms.
Formal's talk about what thiscan look like practically.
Mentorship can happen in a lotof forms formal mentoring,
programs at work or school,informal relationships offered
(06:31):
through coffee chats or Zoomcalls peer mentoring yes, people
at your level can offer a hugevalue too.
Or even reverse mentoring,where younger or less
traditional professionals mentorsenior leaders, often around
tech or diversity or newperspectives.
At its best, mentorship is atwo-way relationship where both
(06:51):
people grow.
Now, recently, I spent anentire year where I would ask
one person each month to havelunch with me my treat and I
would ask questions.
I would listen to them and justabsorb what I could in learning
from them in our time together.
This year I was asked to takepart in a leadership development
group where we gather businessprofessionals together one day
(07:12):
each month and we go out tolearn together about different
industries medical, government,entertainment, transportation,
you name it.
So in finding your mentor, Iwould suggest four things.
First of all, pray.
First, ask God to show you whohe's already placed in your life
.
Think about people you admireinside or outside your field.
(07:33):
Second, look around.
Look around your church, yourworkplace, your school, your
community or your networking andprofessional groups.
You may already have potentialmentors already in your daily
circle.
Third, start small.
Reach out to someone you admireand just simply say hey, could
we grab coffee?
I love your perspective onsomething I'm walking through,
(07:54):
or maybe I admire.
Fill in the blank yourparenting, your leadership, your
life, your walk with the Lord.
You name it and then ask themif they'd be open to meeting and
sharing their wisdom.
Don't go in asking will you bemy mentor?
That's a little overwhelming,right.
A lot of time commitment, butstart with a conversation.
Ask for advice or insight onsomething specific.
(08:15):
And fourth, be consistent.
Follow up.
Ask intentional questions,apply what you hear Now.
Don't demand commitment rightaway, as I mentioned, but just
let your relationship grownaturally and be appreciative
for the time that they caninvest in you.
I'm not sure who said it, butit is said to find a good mentor
is one who sees more talent andability within you than you see
(08:38):
in yourself, and then they helpbring it out of you.
They're a valuable source ofguidance, support and
inspiration, helping you growand achieve in your potential.
Someone who really believes inyou.
Now, as far as becoming a mentor, same thing, four tips I'd
offer.
First off, you don't have tohave it all together or be an
(08:59):
expert Phew.
You just need to be a stepahead and available, meaning I'm
not going to go to someonewithout kids for parenting
mentorship.
I'm not going to go to someonewho is horribly in debt for
financial wisdom.
As a mentor, the life you'velived, what you've experienced,
is what you have to offeranother who is coming behind you
(09:20):
, so to speak.
If you've got experience,someone else doesn't, you've got
value to share.
Second, invite someone in, talkto someone about hey, if you
ever want to process anything ortalk through this or that in
life, I'm here.
Or simply asking how can Isupport you?
Or even, what are you workingon right now that you could use
(09:42):
another perspective on.
Third, you don't need to haveall the answers.
Show up, listen well and simplybe there for them.
Before I meet with someone I'mmentoring, I always ask God to
bless our time together, to giveme wisdom and discernment in
what to and even what not to say, and that His will would be
(10:04):
done in that person.
My dad has always taught uskids that we are to listen more
than we speak.
Great mentors ask greatquestions, but then they listen.
And fourth, set boundaries.
Mentorship is a relationship,not a rescue mission.
Set and protect thoseboundaries.
(10:25):
When I was young, I found aDalmatian dog running around our
neighborhood.
I took it home, gave it water,and it didn't have a tag name on
it for me to be able toidentify the owner, so I was
just going to take care of ituntil we could find the owner.
Well, my dad came home thatnight and he saw the dog and
said we needed to let it go.
Now his response to me is onethat still resonates today Holly
(10:46):
, you can't bring home all thestrays.
Now that sounds a little rough,I get it, but translated to
today, I still have a temptationto want to help everyone, to
bring everyone home right, tofix their problems, to provide
solutions, to save them.
Well, mentorship is arelationship, not a rescue
mission.
I have had to remind myselfmore times than not.
(11:08):
God's got them, so I've stillgot to set my boundaries and
then give it to God.
Mentorship doesn't have to be aprogram.
It can simply start with coffeeand a conversation through you
being present.
As Steven Spielberg has said,the delicate balance of
(11:29):
mentoring someone is notcreating them in your own image,
but giving them the opportunityto create themselves.
When I've thought of the wordmentor, I've never felt
qualified.
Even though I've gone throughcoaching certification and been
a life coach, a leadership coach, I still don't feel qualified
when it comes to the word mentor.
Yet when I reflect upon myyears, I see where I've had the
(11:52):
honor of mentoring so manypeople, whether it be youth, as
a youth director for a decade,co-workers, as I've walked
alongside them as a leader fordecades.
My own children and nephews inlife lived.
Just this past week, I had afriend reach out and asked to
meet me up for coffee just tohave some wise counsel on a
situation she's going through, adecision she has to make Again.
(12:14):
You don't need to knoweverything, you just need to be
obedient with what you do know.
So show up Now.
I'd encourage you with fivetakeaways to reflect on or put
into practice this week.
First off, god uses people toshape people, so don't isolate
yourself.
Growth happens in community.
Reach out.
(12:35):
Second, mentorship is mutual.
Whether you're guiding oryou're being guided, god uses
both roles to refine us.
Third, don't wait for theperfect mentor or the perfect
moment.
Don't wait for the perfectmentor or the perfect moment.
Start small and trust God tolead the process.
Fourth, let scripture becentral In spiritual mentorship.
(12:57):
Anchor advice in God's word,not just opinion.
I always avoid this is what Iwould do, but instead, whether
it be in business settings orfaith groups, I approach it all
with a lens of what's God's wordon saying something.
We are imperfect people, somake sure we aren't trying to
write the person's story forthem.
We are not their author.
(13:26):
And fifth, be available.
Not perfect.
People need someone who's real,present and faithful, just show
up.
So who's someone that might beon your heart today to reach out
to for guidance or to be aguide for you?
And what's holding you backfrom reaching out?
What's perhaps one step thatyou can take this week?
(13:47):
Now I want to give a shout outto the mentors in my life, those
who have shaped me, taught meand believed in me.
I'm grateful for grace inaction.
I had a boss years ago who kindof took me under their wing in
showing me the ropes, teachingme some things she knew and then
also having me come alongsideher in doing them.
I was very thankful for that.
(14:09):
I've had a mentor who I am sograteful for, who, as a young
child, simply took me to see thelittle mermaid and then,
throughout the years, hasreached out to pray for me, and
she doesn't even have to knowwhat's going on.
She simply said just send methose prayer emoji hands and
I'll make sure to lift you up.
So my hope is that you'll havethe courage to ask for help,
(14:32):
while also the humility to pourinto others.
So often we can look at askingfor help or looking for someone
to pour into us, to teach us, tomentor us as a weakness that we
don't know it all.
Well, guess what Newsflash?
We don't want to know it all.
Life is a continuation oflearning and growing, and we're
going to be able to learn fromall of those around us if we
(14:55):
just show up with a growthmindset each and every day.
We can learn from those who areexperienced and inexperienced.
We can learn from those who areolder and younger.
We can learn from those whohave the higher education and
those who have no education.
My hope is that our lives willbe used to build others up in
faith and love and wisdom,whether we are in the receiving
(15:17):
end or the giving end.
Now, before we wrap, I want toleave you with some resources
that can help you go deeper,whether you want to grow in your
mentoring relationship orsimply start from scratch.
Two books I would recommend areMentoring 101 by John C Maxwell
.
This is a practical andapproachable guide to the basics
of leadership-based mentoring.
(15:39):
It's great, and John C Maxwellgoes on to even have a podcast
that you can sign up for, where,in your inbox every day, you'll
kind of get those Mentoring 101tips.
I highly recommend it.
You can go to his website formore information on that, I
think it's called Minute withMaxwell.
And then, of course, womenLeading Women by Jay Martin and
(15:59):
Terry Stovall.
This is for women in leadershiproles and it's a helpful guide
for women on mentoring ministryand developing others in faith.
And then podcasts and audioresources.
I would provide one being theEmotionally Healthy Leader
podcast by Pete Cesaro.
It's a soul deep leadershipdevelopment that includes
(16:20):
mentoring and discipleshipprinciples.
And then that Sounds Fun byAnnie F Downs.
She often includes mentoringthemes through storytelling and
interviews with spiritualmentors and leaders.
Of course, websites that Iwould recommend to you, two of
them specificallygrowingleaderscom, that's
focused on mentoring anddeveloping young adults through
(16:40):
leadership and life skills, andthen faithfulworkplaceorg.
It's a mentoring and workplacediscipleship.
Now, if you want to take a nextstep today, here's what you can
do Five things First of all,identify the gaps in your
knowledge or in your career andthen look for someone who's
already navigated them.
Second, don't wait formentorship to happen.
(17:02):
Initiate it, whether you'rereaching out to learn to or help
just start.
Third, be prepared when meetinga mentor or a mentee.
Respect their time and haveclear goals and clear questions.
Fourth, build a network ofmentors.
You don't need just one.
Seek different perspectives fordifferent areas of your life.
(17:25):
Remember, a mentor doesn't haveto be for a lifetime.
It can be for a season and five.
Pay it forward.
My mom used to always say havea mentor and be a mentor.
Well, if someone helped, youhelp someone else.
Mentorship is a cycle, it's nota ladder.
You don't have to have a title,a ministry or a program.
(17:47):
You just need a heart that'swilling.
Thanks for tuning in to Holly'sHighlights Podcast.
My friends, if today's episodehas encouraged you, would you
please take a second to share itwith a friend or, better yet,
your mentor.
Have a great day for a greatday.
Thank you for joining me onthis journey of life.
I hope that today's highlighthas been encouraging, inspiring
(18:12):
and equipping so you can go outand live your life full of
purpose.
I'd be honored if you'd take amoment to leave a review or,
better yet, subscribe.
We can also stay in touch byjoining my email list at
hollykirbycom, that'sH-O-L-L-Y-C-U-R-B-Ycom.
Until next time, make it agreat day for a great day.
Hi, friend, welcome to Holly's Highlights, a podcast
designed to encourage, inspireand equip you to intentionally
live your life full of purpose.
I'm your host, holly Kirby,motivational speaker, leadership
cultivator, marketingstrategist and personal
cheerleader.
Let's check out today'shighlights.
In a world of job changes,limited staffing and the ongoing
(00:25):
demands of time management,leaders of all levels are facing
the challenges of change.
Hiring a leadership coach hasbeen proven an effective
strategy at improvingperformance.
It can help your leaders tackleworkplace challenges, improve
team culture and even help theirleaders continue to grow and
fine-tune their leadershipstyles.
I currently have a few openingsto coach you or your leadership
(00:47):
team.
Whether it be scheduling two 30minute sessions a month or one
one hour session.
We'll work together to overcomechallenges of providing
difficult feedback, growing inself-awareness as a leader, and
implement successful tacticsthat becoming a leader Others
want to follow.
Connect with me online at hollykirbycom or email me at contact
(01:08):
at hollykirbycom.
That's H-O-L-L-Y-C-U-R-B-Y.
In the words of physician andanthropologist and former
president of the World Bank, jimYong Kim, one of the most
important things aboutleadership is that you have to
have the kind of humility thatwill allow you to be coached.
Hi, friends, today's episode isabout something powerful
(01:32):
mentorship, what it is, why itmatters and how it can be used
to shape our purpose and evenstretch our faith.
Now, whether you're hoping tofind a mentor, thinking about
becoming one, or if you're evenjust feeling stuck in between,
this conversation is going togive you tools and truth and
encouragement to take that nextstep.
So, first things first.
(01:52):
What is mentorship?
Well, let's start with thebasics.
A mentor is someone who offersguidance, knowledge and support,
usually from a place ofexperience, to someone less
experienced, or often called amentee or protege.
But mentorship isn't just aboutgiving advice.
It's about listening,challenging, helping someone
grow into their potential.
(02:13):
It's a relationship ofintentional guidance,
encouragement and accountability.
But it's rooted in experienceand yet it's motivated by love.
Experience and yet it'smotivated by love.
In the Bible we see clearexamples of mentorship Moses and
Joshua.
Moses trained and encouragedJoshua to lead courageously.
(02:35):
This is found in Deuteronomy 31, 7 and 8.
Elijah and Elijah A powerfulpicture of calling, legacy and
spiritual anointing.
Paul and Timothy.
To Timothy, my true son in thefaith, 1 Timothy 1-2 tells us
Paul mentored Timothy not justin ministry but in godly
character.
And then, of course, jesus andthe disciples, the greatest
(02:55):
mentoring relationship of alltime teaching, correcting,
equipping and commissioning.
Former United StatesRepresentative John C Crosby
said that mentoring is a brainto pick, an ear to listen and a
push in the right direction.
Mentorship is also discipleshipin action, though Life-on-life
learning.
It's where wisdom gets passeddown.
(03:17):
It's designed for generationalwisdom and community growth.
The biggest mentor influence inmy life was my mother.
She was intentional.
Each and every day she pouredinto teaching me and she was my
main source of learning andgrowing and then even
implementing what I learned fromher, whether professional
attributes or personal.
(03:38):
I could go to her with anythingand everything and I knew she'd
be honest and real and raw andeverything.
And I knew she'd be honest andreal and raw.
She'd listen, she'd help me,process and even offer her wise
counsel, whether from her ownexperiences or pointing me to
biblically sound principles.
Now, why should mentorshipmatter?
Well, there are both practicaland spiritual benefits to
(03:59):
mentorship.
Practical a survey of Forbesshows that 71% of Fortune 500
companies have mentoringprograms.
Ours is one of those withChick-fil-A.
According to Harvard BusinessReview, mentored employees are
five times more likely to bepromoted, and those with mentors
often report greater careersatisfaction, confidence and
(04:20):
personal development.
Now, on the flip side of that,those who mentor others often
excel in their leadership, growin empathy and compassion, and
they build patience and overalllife awareness.
The spiritual benefits tomentorship are shown in Proverbs
27, 17,.
As iron sharpens iron, so oneperson sharpens another.
Or in Titus 2, where it callsolder men and women to teach and
(04:45):
encourage the younger.
Passing down godliness andmentorship is part of the Great
Commission.
Teaching others to obey allJesus commanded in Matthew 28,
19 through 20.
American philosopher andpsychologist William James said
the greatest use of a life is tospend it for something that
will outlast it.
Mentorship is kingdom work.
(05:06):
You never know how a word ofencouragement or consistent
presence impacts others, and itcan even create that rippling
effect.
When I was a teenager, I had amentor who invested time with me
each week through a programcalled Act Teens.
Now this program helped melearn how to have a deeper care
about others and encourage themand even pray for them, although
(05:26):
I'd probably never even meetthem.
But little did she or I knowthat.
Her mentorship in my lifedeveloped a passion for missions
within me, although missions isoften termed for someone who is
sharing the gospel and makingdisciples of all nations.
You often hear the wordmissionary.
My passion became praying forand supporting, how I may, those
(05:46):
who would be going out, whetherthat be through finances and or
resources needed.
We've had many a missionaryhere on Holly's Highlights
podcast sharing about theirministry or nonprofit, which
we've then been invited to takepart in in one way or another,
and throughout the years, thiswoman has continued to send me
cards to connect, offered afriendly smile as we passed each
(06:07):
other at church, or even timegoing out for lunch.
The look of the mentorship haschanged, yes, but her impact on
my life has not.
So how do you find a mentor orhow do you be a mentor?
Well, let's talk about whatthis can look like practically.
Mentorship can happen in a lotof forms.
Formal's talk about what thiscan look like practically.
Mentorship can happen in a lotof forms formal mentoring,
programs at work or school,informal relationships offered
(06:31):
through coffee chats or Zoomcalls peer mentoring yes, people
at your level can offer a hugevalue too.
Or even reverse mentoring,where younger or less
traditional professionals mentorsenior leaders, often around
tech or diversity or newperspectives.
At its best, mentorship is atwo-way relationship where both
(06:51):
people grow.
Now, recently, I spent anentire year where I would ask
one person each month to havelunch with me my treat and I
would ask questions.
I would listen to them and justabsorb what I could in learning
from them in our time together.
This year I was asked to takepart in a leadership development
group where we gather businessprofessionals together one day
(07:12):
each month and we go out tolearn together about different
industries medical, government,entertainment, transportation,
you name it.
So in finding your mentor, Iwould suggest four things.
First of all, pray.
First, ask God to show you whohe's already placed in your life
.
Think about people you admireinside or outside your field.
(07:33):
Second, look around.
Look around your church, yourworkplace, your school, your
community or your networking andprofessional groups.
You may already have potentialmentors already in your daily
circle.
Third, start small.
Reach out to someone you admireand just simply say hey, could
we grab coffee?
I love your perspective onsomething I'm walking through,
(07:54):
or maybe I admire.
Fill in the blank yourparenting, your leadership, your
life, your walk with the Lord.
You name it and then ask themif they'd be open to meeting and
sharing their wisdom.
Don't go in asking will you bemy mentor?
That's a little overwhelming,right.
A lot of time commitment, butstart with a conversation.
Ask for advice or insight onsomething specific.
(08:15):
And fourth, be consistent.
Follow up.
Ask intentional questions,apply what you hear Now.
Don't demand commitment rightaway, as I mentioned, but just
let your relationship grownaturally and be appreciative
for the time that they caninvest in you.
I'm not sure who said it, butit is said to find a good mentor
is one who sees more talent andability within you than you see
(08:38):
in yourself, and then they helpbring it out of you.
They're a valuable source ofguidance, support and
inspiration, helping you growand achieve in your potential.
Someone who really believes inyou.
Now, as far as becoming a mentor, same thing, four tips I'd
offer.
First off, you don't have tohave it all together or be an
(08:59):
expert Phew.
You just need to be a stepahead and available, meaning I'm
not going to go to someonewithout kids for parenting
mentorship.
I'm not going to go to someonewho is horribly in debt for
financial wisdom.
As a mentor, the life you'velived, what you've experienced,
is what you have to offeranother who is coming behind you
(09:20):
, so to speak.
If you've got experience,someone else doesn't, you've got
value to share.
Second, invite someone in, talkto someone about hey, if you
ever want to process anything ortalk through this or that in
life, I'm here.
Or simply asking how can Isupport you?
Or even, what are you workingon right now that you could use
(09:42):
another perspective on.
Third, you don't need to haveall the answers.
Show up, listen well and simplybe there for them.
Before I meet with someone I'mmentoring, I always ask God to
bless our time together, to giveme wisdom and discernment in
what to and even what not to say, and that His will would be
(10:04):
done in that person.
My dad has always taught uskids that we are to listen more
than we speak.
Great mentors ask greatquestions, but then they listen.
And fourth, set boundaries.
Mentorship is a relationship,not a rescue mission.
Set and protect thoseboundaries.
(10:25):
When I was young, I found aDalmatian dog running around our
neighborhood.
I took it home, gave it water,and it didn't have a tag name on
it for me to be able toidentify the owner, so I was
just going to take care of ituntil we could find the owner.
Well, my dad came home thatnight and he saw the dog and
said we needed to let it go.
Now his response to me is onethat still resonates today Holly
(10:46):
, you can't bring home all thestrays.
Now that sounds a little rough,I get it, but translated to
today, I still have a temptationto want to help everyone, to
bring everyone home right, tofix their problems, to provide
solutions, to save them.
Well, mentorship is arelationship, not a rescue
mission.
I have had to remind myselfmore times than not.
(11:08):
God's got them, so I've stillgot to set my boundaries and
then give it to God.
Mentorship doesn't have to be aprogram.
It can simply start with coffeeand a conversation through you
being present.
As Steven Spielberg has said,the delicate balance of
(11:29):
mentoring someone is notcreating them in your own image,
but giving them the opportunityto create themselves.
When I've thought of the wordmentor, I've never felt
qualified.
Even though I've gone throughcoaching certification and been
a life coach, a leadership coach, I still don't feel qualified
when it comes to the word mentor.
Yet when I reflect upon myyears, I see where I've had the
(11:52):
honor of mentoring so manypeople, whether it be youth, as
a youth director for a decade,co-workers, as I've walked
alongside them as a leader fordecades.
My own children and nephews inlife lived.
Just this past week, I had afriend reach out and asked to
meet me up for coffee just tohave some wise counsel on a
situation she's going through, adecision she has to make Again.
(12:14):
You don't need to knoweverything, you just need to be
obedient with what you do know.
So show up Now.
I'd encourage you with fivetakeaways to reflect on or put
into practice this week.
First off, god uses people toshape people, so don't isolate
yourself.
Growth happens in community.
Reach out.
(12:35):
Second, mentorship is mutual.
Whether you're guiding oryou're being guided, god uses
both roles to refine us.
Third, don't wait for theperfect mentor or the perfect
moment.
Don't wait for the perfectmentor or the perfect moment.
Start small and trust God tolead the process.
Fourth, let scripture becentral In spiritual mentorship.
(12:57):
Anchor advice in God's word,not just opinion.
I always avoid this is what Iwould do, but instead, whether
it be in business settings orfaith groups, I approach it all
with a lens of what's God's wordon saying something.
We are imperfect people, somake sure we aren't trying to
write the person's story forthem.
We are not their author.
(13:26):
And fifth, be available.
Not perfect.
People need someone who's real,present and faithful, just show
up.
So who's someone that might beon your heart today to reach out
to for guidance or to be aguide for you?
And what's holding you backfrom reaching out?
What's perhaps one step thatyou can take this week?
(13:47):
Now I want to give a shout outto the mentors in my life, those
who have shaped me, taught meand believed in me.
I'm grateful for grace inaction.
I had a boss years ago who kindof took me under their wing in
showing me the ropes, teachingme some things she knew and then
also having me come alongsideher in doing them.
I was very thankful for that.
(14:09):
I've had a mentor who I am sograteful for, who, as a young
child, simply took me to see thelittle mermaid and then,
throughout the years, hasreached out to pray for me, and
she doesn't even have to knowwhat's going on.
She simply said just send methose prayer emoji hands and
I'll make sure to lift you up.
So my hope is that you'll havethe courage to ask for help,
(14:32):
while also the humility to pourinto others.
So often we can look at askingfor help or looking for someone
to pour into us, to teach us, tomentor us as a weakness that we
don't know it all.
Well, guess what Newsflash?
We don't want to know it all.
Life is a continuation oflearning and growing, and we're
going to be able to learn fromall of those around us if we
(14:55):
just show up with a growthmindset each and every day.
We can learn from those who areexperienced and inexperienced.
We can learn from those who areolder and younger.
We can learn from those whohave the higher education and
those who have no education.
My hope is that our lives willbe used to build others up in
faith and love and wisdom,whether we are in the receiving
(15:17):
end or the giving end.
Now, before we wrap, I want toleave you with some resources
that can help you go deeper,whether you want to grow in your
mentoring relationship orsimply start from scratch.
Two books I would recommend areMentoring 101 by John C Maxwell
.
This is a practical andapproachable guide to the basics
of leadership-based mentoring.
(15:39):
It's great, and John C Maxwellgoes on to even have a podcast
that you can sign up for, where,in your inbox every day, you'll
kind of get those Mentoring 101tips.
I highly recommend it.
You can go to his website formore information on that, I
think it's called Minute withMaxwell.
And then, of course, womenLeading Women by Jay Martin and
(15:59):
Terry Stovall.
This is for women in leadershiproles and it's a helpful guide
for women on mentoring ministryand developing others in faith.
And then podcasts and audioresources.
I would provide one being theEmotionally Healthy Leader
podcast by Pete Cesaro.
It's a soul deep leadershipdevelopment that includes
(16:20):
mentoring and discipleshipprinciples.
And then that Sounds Fun byAnnie F Downs.
She often includes mentoringthemes through storytelling and
interviews with spiritualmentors and leaders.
Of course, websites that Iwould recommend to you, two of
them specificallygrowingleaderscom, that's
focused on mentoring anddeveloping young adults through
(16:40):
leadership and life skills, andthen faithfulworkplaceorg.
It's a mentoring and workplacediscipleship.
Now, if you want to take a nextstep today, here's what you can
do Five things First of all,identify the gaps in your
knowledge or in your career andthen look for someone who's
already navigated them.
Second, don't wait formentorship to happen.
(17:02):
Initiate it, whether you'rereaching out to learn to or help
just start.
Third, be prepared when meetinga mentor or a mentee.
Respect their time and haveclear goals and clear questions.
Fourth, build a network ofmentors.
You don't need just one.
Seek different perspectives fordifferent areas of your life.
(17:25):
Remember, a mentor doesn't haveto be for a lifetime.
It can be for a season and five.
Pay it forward.
My mom used to always say havea mentor and be a mentor.
Well, if someone helped, youhelp someone else.
Mentorship is a cycle, it's nota ladder.
You don't have to have a title,a ministry or a program.
(17:47):
You just need a heart that'swilling.
Thanks for tuning in to Holly'sHighlights Podcast.
My friends, if today's episodehas encouraged you, would you
please take a second to share itwith a friend or, better yet,
your mentor.
Have a great day for a greatday.
Thank you for joining me onthis journey of life.
I hope that today's highlighthas been encouraging, inspiring
(18:12):
and equipping so you can go outand live your life full of
purpose.
I'd be honored if you'd take amoment to leave a review or,
better yet, subscribe.
We can also stay in touch byjoining my email list at
hollykirbycom, that'sH-O-L-L-Y-C-U-R-B-Ycom.
Until next time, make it agreat day for a great day.
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