Unlock the potential of one-on-one meetings to transform your workplace communication and culture. Picture this: a story of mismatched expectations between a boss and an employee becomes a lesson in the power of clear communication and regular, personalized interactions. This episode promises to reveal how these meetings not only boost productivity and motivation but also become a cornerstone of trust and respect within your team. By investing in these interactions, you not only enhance employee retention but also shield your brand from negative PR or legal setbacks.
Guided by insights from leadership experts like Ben Horowitz, we break down effective strategies for conducting one-on-one meetings. It's all about giving undivided attention, minimizing distractions, and embracing a balanced approach that nurtures both employees and managers. Discover practical techniques like "bookends" and "mirroring" to enhance communication, the importance of public praise versus private discipline, and why understanding love languages and learning styles can be game-changers in appreciation and retention efforts.
As we explore leadership challenges and opportunities in these meetings, we'll highlight the role of emotional intelligence and vulnerability in cultivating genuine connections. Embrace the awkwardness of difficult conversations and understand the critical role of feedback in shaping company culture and procedures. With a focus on consistency and commitment, you'll leave this episode ready to harness the full potential of one-on-ones, fostering a positive environment that encourages growth and mutual respect.
Thank you to our Sponsor: Murdock Financial
This is sponsored in part by Murdock Financial. Your future deserves planning. For more information visit www.murdockfinancial.com. Equitable Advisors, LLC, a member of FINRA and SIPC.
Visit www.hollycurby.com for more information and to sign up for the monthly Holly's Happenings e-newsletter. Holly's Highlights podcast and the opinions and ideas shared within it are for entertainment purposes only. The advice should be confirmed with a qualified professional.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, friend, welcome to Holly's Highlights, a podcast
designed to encourage, inspireand equip you to intentionally
live your life full of purpose.
I'm your host, holly Kirby,motivational speaker, leadership
cultivator, marketingstrategist and personal
cheerleader.
Let's check out today'shighlights.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
This program is sponsored in part by Murdoch
Financial.
Your future deserves planning.
For more information, visitwwwmurdochfinancialcom.
Equitable Advisors LLC.
Member of FINRA and SIPC.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Hello, my friends, today we are talking about the
value of one-on-one meetings.
Now, I was recently watching avideo where there was a clip in
there of a female boss and amale employee and they were
getting ready to meet for theirone-on-one meeting and they were
coming from two completelydifferent perspectives.
The female boss was going intothis thinking, oh, this is going
(01:05):
to be a horrible meeting.
I'm dreading this.
I'm going to have to let thisperson go.
They haven't taken the feedbackI've been providing for them.
They haven't improved in theirperformance throughout this past
amount of time, and I'm reallyjust dreading this meeting.
Whereas then you look at theemployee and he is pumped.
He is so excited going intothis and he's telling a friend
(01:25):
of his that you know, I'veworked so hard and I've been
taking outside educationalclasses to help me in this area.
I really hope that they see theimprovements I've made.
I really think I'm going to getthat promotion that I've been
up for, that I'm hoping to get,and this is a perfect timing
because my wife just lost herjob, and so this will be good
for us.
This will be good for us, andso, as you're sitting there
(01:47):
watching this clip, you can justsee the train wreck about to
happen right, completelycontradictory to each other of
what is going to be theanticipation of the outcome of
this meeting.
And that can so often be how we,as team members or as leaders,
feel in our roles the unknown ofexpectations or misalignments.
(02:13):
And that is really the purposethat goes into the value of
needing to have these one-on-onemeetings between staff members
and levels of leadership.
These are often held bydepartments and they actually
are rated the most usefulmeeting, according to workers.
In tech, another term maysimply be a check-in.
So if the words one-on-ones arethrowing you off of what that
(02:37):
is, you're used to differenttype of meetings.
Think of this as just acheck-in.
But what a one-on-one is not isit's not just a typical work
meeting, it's not just a staffmeeting of sorts.
It really is focusing onmentoring an employee.
But keep in mind, it's also anopportunity for that employee to
provide feedback to you as theleader.
Now Simon Sinek encourages usto be the leader that you wish
(03:01):
that you had.
So the question lies how can we,as leaders, have healthy and
productive one-on-one meetingswith those entrusted to our care
?
Well, to determine that, we'refirst going to need to look at
the benefits of one-on-ones, andthere's four I want to point
out to you.
First of all is retention,because in one-on-ones you're
providing that opencommunication and regular
(03:22):
feedback that can help avoidunnecessary turnover.
The second one's going to bebuilding the business.
Those one-on-ones help improveproductivity.
Even motivation and quality ofa team member's work goes up and
they can create a loyalty or abuy-in because of the
opportunity to have that teammember share back with you.
They're buying into thatbusiness and they can also offer
(03:48):
that personal growth to yourteam and work on problem solving
instead of just problemidentifying, as well as they can
help increase the sales andtransaction counts which every
business is looking for, right.
The third one is they helpcultivate the culture.
So having that one-on-onetaking that time as a leader to
sit down with those that youoversee builds a trust in your
(04:08):
leadership.
It can help boost morale anddevelop that teamwork mentality.
It also shows a respect to theteam because you are taking time
to sit down and hear them out,but it also is going to gain
their respect towards you andalso credibility to you as a
leader.
And then the fourth one is itprotects the brand and the
(04:30):
business.
So sitting down and havingthose one-on-one meetings can
help avoid some of that negativePR, depending on what age group
you work with.
If you're working withteenagers or those younger, it
can also kind of negate the overparental involvement, because
the teen knows exactly wherethey lie.
Or even, let's face it somespouses tend to get a little
(04:53):
involved, so it can help easethat as well.
And then, of course, protectingfrom legal issues, because
you're already aware ofsituations.
You're already having thosecommunications and those
conversations, so all of thatcan help protect the brand.
So all four of those theretention, building the business
, helping cultivate the cultureand protecting your brand and
your business are all benefitsto why it's so important to sit
(05:16):
down and have these one-on-onemeetings with your team.
Now, all of these things we areresponsible for as leaders, and
as leaders we're entrusted withthose we lead.
It's not a right, nor is itjust an obligation, but it truly
is something we've beenentrusted with as a leader.
When you look at it that way,it really does take a different
approach on things that our goalas a leader is to coach, it's
(05:41):
to train, it's to develop andhelp build the bench in our
businesses.
It's to help invest and mentorand grow and, of course, that
retention right.
Going back to Simon Sinek,another thing he has said before
is that leadership is not aboutbeing in charge, it's about
taking care of those in yourcharge.
(06:01):
So that's exactly what you'redoing with one-on-one meetings
is showing that care to thosethat have been entrusted to you
and your leadership.
So that brings us to questionnumber two how can we set up
one-on-ones for success?
Well, we can look at threesteps again here.
The first one's going to be allin our approach.
(06:21):
There's so much that can gointo the approach of a
one-on-one.
One thing you can look at isthe timing.
Never send a text when angry orhungry or emotional.
We talk about that in my book,facelift.
Well, the same thing applieshere for having a one-on-one is
we need to make sure that we'renot sitting down to having these
(06:41):
meetings when we are needing tohave that meal, you know, going
into lunchtime, or we've justcome out of something very
emotional, or we're angry aboutsomething, or whatever it might
be, or even tired, even tiredright.
Avoid them, then at all costs.
Try to set it up for successwith that team member in a
different frame of mind.
Avoid the distractions as well.
I try to turn my phone over soit doesn't light up and maybe
(07:05):
it's not going to distract me,but it could distract even the
person I'm with, which signalsoh, something else is vying for
my attention.
And so even removing some ofthose distractions or avoiding
the distractions by simplyturning your phone over so that
you know that person you're with, they are aware they are what's
most important right now.
I think that's so important.
(07:26):
My dad used to always tell usthat the person that's most
important should be the personthat you're sitting with right
now.
Not that phone call unless it'san emergency or not, that text
you need to send real quick, butthe person that you're
presently with.
Of course, with that timingalso is allotting enough time,
not just, oh, I have a quick 10minutes before we're end of day
(07:46):
or five minutes before my nextmeeting, but making sure you
allot enough time, because, justas we shared, this is just as
much for you as it is for them,and so you need to allow them
enough time to be able to sharewhat they need to with you.
So you might be able to get allyour stuff out in five minutes.
Okay, but does that allow themenough time to respond to things
that you need to share withthem, or for them to bring forth
(08:07):
to you items that might be ontheir list to talk to you about?
Another thing we can look aboutin our approach is to praise
publicly and disciplineprivately.
We should never speak negativein front of others, right, so
cautious on that.
I know that for some they donot hold this mindset, but I
believe it's tried and true.
(08:28):
It's something I will alwayslive by is praising publicly,
but always discipline privately.
Another thing with our approachis avoiding assumptions.
So when we do sit down in thoseone-on-one meetings and instead
of just off the wall, thismanager said that you need to
work on this, but I really don'tknow why.
Said that you need to work onthis, but I really don't know
(08:48):
why.
Just you need to work on it.
That's not going to work, right, that's not going to be
effective.
So have examples of whatcritiques that you need to share
with that team member, of howthey can improve their
performance, maybe a situationthat took place or a project
that didn't go well, or a timelapse that they had on something
that was due.
Don't just throw it out thereas a blanket statement.
(09:11):
Make sure you have somethingconcrete to be able to provide
for them so that they canimprove Along with those
assumptions.
Making sure that we don't assumethat they know the expectation.
We sometimes forget, especiallywhen we've been at a company
for a long amount of time, theamount of time someone else has
been there right, and what hasbeen said or done, or
expectations or rules that havecome and gone.
(09:31):
And so, instead of assumingthat they know the expectations,
go for them again with them,help them out, give them the
benefit of the doubt and don'talways assume that they've been
shown the right way to dosomething either.
As we have, people move in andout of leadership roles, things
can be taught a littledifferently, and so it's never
(09:52):
harmful to gently show them theright way to do something, even
if it's showing them again.
We can also show that care andcompassion Everyone has
different learning styles andabilities and talents and making
sure that we're never sittingdown in a one-on-one to come
from a judgmental place, butsetting that tone where we show
(10:12):
the care and compassion to them.
One way to set that tone is towatch the you usage right.
That can create a defensiveness.
So, for example, instead of Iwant to sit down with you and
talk about your behavior, youcan instead change that.
Soften it to hey, I'd love tosit down with you and talk about
your behavior.
You can instead change that.
Soften it to you know, hey, I'dlove to sit down and connect.
We just wanted to help withsome areas for some personal
(10:33):
growth here in the company, andit's a softer way where they're
going to be more open andreceptive to hearing what you
have to say.
Make sure that you focus on thetopic at hand.
So, just as we talked aboutmaking sure we have examples,
make sure that we stick to whatwe're sitting down to talk with
them about.
There are some times that wecan get a little heated or
frustrated, and so we startbringing up stuff that doesn't
(10:54):
really help deal with the issue.
It's called chasing a squirrelis what I often refer to it and
it can just add fuel to the fire.
So, stay on topic and, at theend of the day, remember we're
all on the same team, so weshould have our leaders backs
right, those who are our seniorleaders, above us, as well as
those who might be, on thesimilar roles that we fulfill
(11:18):
being able to support them.
But it also is very much a sameteam concept with our employees
that we're working with ourteam members.
Whomever we are having theseone-on-ones with, we need to
come together collectively thatwe're on, at the end of the day,
we're on the same team, so workas a way to, as I always like
to say, that everyone leaveswith their dignity and our
(11:40):
approach is going to helpaccomplish the actual content
and the outcome which we'regoing to get to here in a moment
Now.
Technology entrepreneur BenHorowitz says the key to a good
one-on-one meeting is theunderstanding that it's the
employee's meeting, rather thanthe manager's meeting, that can
take a different look on thesemeetings.
That, as we go into that stepnumber two of how to set up the
(12:04):
one-on-ones for success is ourattitude Realizing that this
meeting, this one-on-one, thischeck-in, is just as much for us
as it is for them.
What do I not do?
Well, what do I need to hearthat I probably don't want to
hear?
These are things we should beopen to, to, where we can learn
(12:24):
and grow as we step away fromthat meeting too, and as we're
having our attitude with ourteam members and those we've
been entrusted to lead, we'realso entrusted with that person
and their information.
So things that they share withus we at times should be a vault
.
Now, I completely understandthat if things are illegal or
(12:46):
something that could cause themharm, we need to speak out and
get help and seek those whowould be able to advise us and
provide wisdom or evenexperience into something like
this.
But what our team members sharewith us is not the next gossip
to go share around the nextstaff meeting with the senior
leadership.
It's to be vaulted that all ofour team members, all of our
(13:09):
employees, should be able totrust us and, as well with that,
the trust that we can takeaction, or even take action in
following up with them about anyideas or questions that they
have that we need to research orinquire about with our
superiors, or if we just need tobe a sounding board with them.
The lack of action, of justbeing able to sit there and
(13:30):
listen and let them be able toshare with us what they need to
get off and vent or askquestions about.
We're truly there to mentorright and help build them up in
their growth, their role andagain learn from them as well.
Our attitude should be ofcomplete humility.
(13:51):
Let the wise person show up,not the foolish.
That's something I've had tolive by often when I get into
meetings that have my faceturning red or my blood boiling
is let the wise person show up,not the foolish, and so often
humility goes into that.
At the end of the day, it isokay to not be okay, it is okay
(14:13):
to not win every war right, andit is okay to have not
compromised who we are, but makecompromises that are in the
best interest of the businessand even of the people that
we're interested to serve.
So adding our attitude ofhumility.
Last aspect of our attitudewould be listen more than you
(14:33):
speak.
My dad always taught me that wehave one mouth and two ears for
a reason.
Now, growing up, I talked a lot.
I never understood that, butnow, as a leader, I get it To
listen more than we speak inthese one-on-ones and be able to
truly hear what our teammembers are telling us, what our
employees are saying, and allowthem the opportunity to have
(14:56):
that safe space with us to beable to share.
And again, that really has somuch to do with our attitude.
Now, the third benefit we canlook at is our application.
So, again, going back to whatwe just alluded to a little bit
ago, is what we're talking about, the content of that one-on-one
.
We can have openers, sosomething of what's something
(15:20):
you're looking forward to thisweekend or what's one of your
recent accomplishments you'remost proud of here at work or in
your life.
But then, once we get past someof those things, it can be hard
to attack the nitty gritties ofthe meeting that we're really
needing to tackle, right?
Maybe you're having to dealwith a difficult issue, or even
doing a write-up or somethinglike that.
(15:41):
So we can do a tactic that'sreferred to as bookends, where
you provide a compliment, thenyou address the issue and then
you encourage with a complimentand it's not that necessarily
that you're sugarcoatingalthough, let's face it, it kind
of is but it's really allowingthem to first hear what they're
doing well.
(16:01):
But then let them know there isimprovement that can be made
and, let's face it, we all haveimprovements that can be made
but then you're also going tore-encourage them, and that
could be going back to thecompliment, or it could even be
what issue you just addressed.
So maybe you provide acompliment to them and they say
that you know.
One thing that we'd really liketo see you work on is this, and
(16:23):
I fully believe you can getthere.
You know I want to help you, Iwant to support you in doing
that, but I know you can do it.
So again, you've complimentedthem, you've addressed the issue
and then you're encouragingwith a compliment or your belief
in them.
Another tactic for lack ofbetter words that you can use in
the content is mirroring.
So sometimes we're going tohave those one-on-one
conversations where it's likethey're not getting it.
(16:46):
They really are notunderstanding you.
I keep sitting down with themand it's like I just want to
beat my head up against the wall.
Right, they're just not gettingit, and these conversations
tend to be a little bit more Idon't want to say stern, but
they're not as just friendly.
But you're sitting there andyou have to end the conversation
with okay, what I hear yousaying is, and then you repeat
(17:09):
back to them to make sure thatyou're understanding what
they're trying to tell you or,in a different scenario, you
might need to ask it of them hey, can you summarize what we just
talked about, just to make surewe're on the same page, because
otherwise it's just like theexample earlier leading into
this, where the boss and theemployer are going into the
meeting and they have totallytwo different, contradictory
(17:32):
perceptions of what this meetingis going to be.
For we want to make sure thatwe're on the same page, and
mirroring can really help usdepart a meeting and make sure
that we are leaving on the samepage to go tackle whatever needs
to be tackled or addressed.
Sometimes in our one-on-ones,we're also going to have to be
the moderator where somethingmight come up, where they start
(17:53):
complaining about Sally Sue andit's like well, hold on, she's
actually here in the officetoday.
Let's go grab her and let'sbring her in and let's see if we
can address this.
So, making sure that we'reloyal to the absent, but
stepping in as that moderator,bringing someone else in when we
need to so that we can help ourteam deal with conflict and be
(18:14):
able to do so in a healthy way,things that might open up for
maybe an opportunity to remindyour team of the benefits that
your company offers.
If they start talking about I'mreally struggling with this
health issue, maybe sharing withthem oh, did you know that we
(18:34):
offer this gym membership or weoffer service for you to be able
to go see a counselor orwhatever it might be.
But listen for those triggerwords that might allow you the
opportunity to offer them aresource or some sort of support
and that can sometimes comefrom within your own benefits or
perhaps it might alert you to aconflict you may need to
(18:58):
address, such as that might pullinto a moderator role then, or
even an opportunity to retainthem.
So if they start talking abouthow they've been talking with
the company that approached themor whatever that starts letting
you know they have one foot outthe door.
So if they are a employee thatyou want to retain, you might
(19:18):
want to get on the ball.
You might want to see whatneeds to be done in that
retention.
Now, some applications orcontent.
I suggest is getting to knowthat employee's love language,
because that really helps usshow appreciation for them and
it can also help with thatretention too, because sometimes
we're doing all these things,we're giving them these gifts or
whatever, and their lovelanguage was words of
(19:40):
affirmation.
They just needed an attaboy,right.
So making sure we know theirlove language so that we can
best meet them in a way thatthey will be receptive of what
we're trying to express andshare with them.
Another one is to learn theirlearning style.
This helps us know how theybest grasp the information.
So if we sit there and we'retelling them all this
information but they're one thatneeds to see it, that helps us
(20:03):
know.
We need to change how we kindof present things to them.
So adapting to the differentlearning styles for each of our
team members, but overall,ensure the one-on-one has the
vibe of a natural conversation.
We're looking for that, aimed ofgrowth, for personally and
professionally, and evenrelationally.
And so, as you do that withyour team, you want it to be
(20:24):
natural.
You want to be able to get toknow your team and for both of
you to feel comfortable beingable to sit down and have that
time together.
Now, as you conclude, don'thesitate to see how you can grow
.
As we've talked about.
This is just as much for you,so you can ask questions for
their feedback, things like whatis something I need to hear
(20:45):
that maybe I don't want to hear,or what is something we should
be talking about that we aren'ttalking about, or what's a
challenge our team isexperiencing that I might not be
aware of or I need to know, oreven how can I best support you
this week?
Those are all different waysthat we can tap into our own
opportunity for feedback fromour team, which is great for our
(21:07):
own learning and growth anddevelopment.
Now, former US PresidentWoodrow Wilson said the man who
is swimming against the streamknows the strength of it, and
this is a reminder that we needto anticipate the challenges
that come so that we can beprepared within these
one-on-ones.
So question number three whatare the challenges or the growth
(21:29):
opportunities for leadingone-on-ones?
We've gotta be aware of them,right.
So five of them I would sharewith you.
We need to prioritize havingone-on-ones with our team, but
then also prepare for them.
So, whether that be feedbackfor them, content to discuss, be
prepared so it can beproductive.
The second one would be beself-aware.
(21:49):
So as a leader, we must haveemotional intelligence.
You know maturity as a leaderand if you feel you or one of
your leaders could use help inthis area, I would encourage you
to check out season five,episode one here in Holly's
Highlights, where we thoroughlygo over with a professor in
emotional intelligence.
So really good episode there.
Third one is it can be achallenge for you to be
(22:10):
vulnerable, especially with yourteam.
It is so hard for us to justput ourselves out there
sometimes, but Headspace Healthinforms us that being vulnerable
can help us to better knowourselves while cultivating and
strengthening our relationshipswith others.
Let me say that again, beingvulnerable can help us to better
know ourselves whilecultivating and strengthening
(22:34):
our relationships with others,and that's exactly what we're
doing in these one-on-ones, andBrene Brown acknowledges this is
a challenge for many, as sheboldly claims.
To be vulnerable is acourageous act.
So you are a leader.
We have to take courage eachand every day, right?
This is another area to takecourage in to be vulnerable with
your team.
It is okay to say I can relate.
(22:57):
I messed up when I started inthis business too.
This is what I did.
This is what I learned from it.
Whatever might be going on,that you can relate with them or
share with them.
To be relatable, but bevulnerable with your team, and
that's not always a comfortablespot to be in.
Another one, another challengeis in that uncomfortable is
(23:20):
sitting in the awkward,especially if it's a hard
conversation.
You know, dealing with aconflict or accountability is
sitting in the awkward If you'relike me.
If there's any dead space,white space, whatever you want
to call it, I feel like I needto fill it.
I'll keep talking on or ask hima question or maybe just skip
over something.
(23:40):
Now, my friends, as leaders, wehave got to sit back and get a
little comfortable in sitting inthe awkward.
And that's the ironic part is,it's not comfortable not for
many of us but we've got tolearn to sit in it because it
allows the space, allows thetime, allows the silence for the
(24:03):
other person to be able tothink or respond, or even feel
like they need to respond, or,if nothing else, for both of you
just to sit in the awkward.
And lastly, the challenge tofollow through with company
procedures, such as introducingnew or unpopular policies or
documents, or even having tocomplete a negative write up on
(24:26):
that employee.
That can be a challenge.
That can be a hard thing,because not everyone deals with
conflict well, but it's soimportant that if you have
certain company procedures thatyou need to introduce, or a
policy that has to beimplemented and you're the one
having to share it, or a writeup that needs to be done,
anything like that needs to beaccomplished.
(24:46):
It's going to be a challenge.
Sit in the awkward of havingthose moments, even where you
have to press forward in doingsome things, that it doesn't
come with the fun part of beinga leader right Now.
Steve Jobs said that it doesn'tmake sense to hire smart people
and then tell them what to do.
We hire smart people so thatthey can tell us what to do, and
(25:08):
the application here is we needto be listening to our team,
what our team is saying.
Everything that happens withinour company, whether it be
surveys that you do perhaps youdo a survey through, like
SurveyMonkey, if you do ityourself, or maybe you're a part
of a deeper survey, such aswith Gallup Listen to what your
employees are trying to tell you.
(25:29):
Don't just write it off of ohwell, someone was in a bad mood
or whatever, because researchshows that for every one person
who speaks up, another 10 feelthat way or are thinking it.
So really, look at thosecomments and even the analytics
of those results of thosesurveys, to be able to see what
(25:49):
changes might need to be madeand then have a pulse on the
culture of your organization.
Make sure that you are tappinginto being around the water
cooler or taking people to lunchor maybe even attending that
out of work social, so that youcan have a pulse on that culture
of your organization, becausethe culture of our businesses is
(26:12):
so vital to our overall teammember mood and business
reflection, but also theproduction and even that
retention that goes forward intothe sustainability of our
business.
So have a pulse on the cultureof your organization.
Now.
The final question most likelyon your mind right now is how
often should you be havingone-on-ones?
(26:33):
Well, there's no necessarilyright or wrong, but it depends
on your availability.
You know what can you commit toand be consistent with or
follow through on, and also lookat how big your team is and who
all is involved.
If it's just you, can you trainsome of your leaders to help
spread the load, or is the teamdivided by levels?
So do you take senior leaderlevels for one-on-ones and your
(26:55):
senior leaders take leaders andyour leaders take your frontline
?
How does it work?
Again, what can you all beconsistent with and committed to
and then follow through on isso important.
And then, what does yourlogistics look like?
Are there a few shifts, such asday shift, night shift and
graveyard?
Does everyone work in theoffice?
Are they remote?
(27:15):
Are they hybrid?
Do you all work in the samecity or state or spread across
the country or world?
Depending on the nature of yourbusiness, is there a constant
sense of urgency or highturnover, short or long
timeframe projects?
All of these can help youdetermine the frequency of your
one-on-ones Weekly, monthly,quarterly or for some, they do
(27:37):
them even annually.
Now I've worked for companiesthat had annual one-on-ones,
quarterly one-on-ones, monthlyone-on-ones and even no
one-on-ones.
There's not a cookie cutterformula.
It's doing the right thing foryour organization.
Author and educator Peter FDrucker said management is doing
things right.
Leadership is doing the rightthings.
(27:57):
See the difference there.
Management is doing thingsright.
Leadership is doing the rightthings.
So it might.
I highly encourage you to dothe right things in leading your
team through having at least aone-on-one, but do what works
for your team.
It doesn't have to look exactlylike someone else's.
(28:18):
Now, if you're still a littlenervous to implement one-on-ones
with your team, or if you'dlike just to learn more on this
topic and grow in this area, I'drecommend four resources for
you For our readers.
I would recommend Coaching forImproved Work Performance.
My apologies, I forget whowrote it.
Would recommend Coaching forImproved Work Performance.
My apologies, I forget whowrote it, but Coaching for
Improved Work Performance youshould be able to find that on
(28:38):
Amazon or any bookstore.
And then the second one is myall time favorite.
You've heard me mention itbefore.
I think every not only leadershould read this, but I think
every team member at any jobshould read this, and that is
Lessons from the Mouse.
I love, love, love that book,lessons from the Mouse.
Then, second of all, for ourauditory learners, I suggest
(28:59):
many of the episodes right hereon Holly's Highlights podcast.
There are many leadershipepisodes, such as how to be a
leader's others follow, how tobe a leader of character,
emotional intelligence as aleader, what our body language
says about us, what your lovelanguage is, how to have those
tough conversations, how to eventalk to people, nuggets of
wisdom, even one about learningour leadership style.
(29:20):
So there are so, so many thatare available here.
I just highly recommend thatyou just go through and find
what might be relative to you.
And then the third perhaps evenfind a mentor.
So my mom used to teach us havea mentor and then be a mentor,
so someone you can learn fromand then one you can pay it
forward to, in investing andpouring into them.
(29:42):
But look around you in your lifeof who stands out that you want
to learn from, their modelingof their exhibited behaviors and
outcomes.
I'm not going to go to someonewho's in debt if I need
financial advice, right.
So you want to go to someonewho what you want to learn in
(30:04):
and how you want to grow.
You're not going to be a cookiecutter of them.
Right, you are you.
You have your own identity.
You have your own strengths andtalents and purpose in life.
But we can learn from mentorswho have not only gotten it
right, but gotten it wrong andwas able to get back up and keep
moving right.
(30:24):
And so look for mentors in yourlife that you go.
I really want to learn fromthem.
It's not that I want to be likethem.
I want to learn from thembecause I feel like they have a
lot to teach me and they exhibitthe behaviors I want to reflect
as well.
And then the fourth one would behire a good leadership or life
coach.
I just happen to be versed inthis and would be honored to
(30:44):
work with you, but if not me, Ihighly recommend that.
If you're just needing someonethat can kind of come alongside
you and coach you.
This would need to be someonewith wisdom and advice in your
area your niche, I think is veryimportant that can have some
insight in diverse areas.
But to be able to help you growas a leader, be able to
(31:04):
approach things in a perhaps outof the box thinking way that
you haven't looked at, but thenalso challenge you, hold you
accountable and often we don'tlike that accountability.
But a good leadership lifecoach can help push back and get
us out of that comfort zone alittle bit.
So I'd love to connect with you.
Feel free to go on tohollykirbycom and then under
(31:27):
work with me.
You can find all theinformation there.
As US Ambassador andRepresentative Pete Coxtra said,
real leadership is leadersrecognizing that they serve the
people that they lead.
So may we all be the bestleaders we can through serving
our team well as we buy into thebenefits of conducting
one-on-ones, having successfulone-on-ones, overcoming the
(31:48):
challenges of one-on-ones andtruly listening to our team in
those one-on-ones and check-ins.
Good luck, my friend.
You've got this.
Thank you for joining me onthis journey of life.
I hope that today's highlighthas been encouraging, inspiring
and equipping so you can go outand live your life full of
(32:10):
purpose.
I'd be honored if you'd take amoment to leave a review or,
better yet, subscribe.
We can also stay in touch byjoining my email list at
hollykirbycom.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
That's H-O-L-L-Y-C-U-R-B-Ycom.
Until next time, make it agreat day for a great day.
Hi, friend, welcome to Holly's Highlights, a podcast
designed to encourage, inspireand equip you to intentionally
live your life full of purpose.
I'm your host, holly Kirby,motivational speaker, leadership
cultivator, marketingstrategist and personal
cheerleader.
Let's check out today'shighlights.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
This program is sponsored in part by Murdoch
Financial.
Your future deserves planning.
For more information, visitwwwmurdochfinancialcom.
Equitable Advisors LLC.
Member of FINRA and SIPC.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Hello, my friends, today we are talking about the
value of one-on-one meetings.
Now, I was recently watching avideo where there was a clip in
there of a female boss and amale employee and they were
getting ready to meet for theirone-on-one meeting and they were
coming from two completelydifferent perspectives.
The female boss was going intothis thinking, oh, this is going
(01:05):
to be a horrible meeting.
I'm dreading this.
I'm going to have to let thisperson go.
They haven't taken the feedbackI've been providing for them.
They haven't improved in theirperformance throughout this past
amount of time, and I'm reallyjust dreading this meeting.
Whereas then you look at theemployee and he is pumped.
He is so excited going intothis and he's telling a friend
(01:25):
of his that you know, I'veworked so hard and I've been
taking outside educationalclasses to help me in this area.
I really hope that they see theimprovements I've made.
I really think I'm going to getthat promotion that I've been
up for, that I'm hoping to get,and this is a perfect timing
because my wife just lost herjob, and so this will be good
for us.
This will be good for us, andso, as you're sitting there
(01:47):
watching this clip, you can justsee the train wreck about to
happen right, completelycontradictory to each other of
what is going to be theanticipation of the outcome of
this meeting.
And that can so often be how we,as team members or as leaders,
feel in our roles the unknown ofexpectations or misalignments.
(02:13):
And that is really the purposethat goes into the value of
needing to have these one-on-onemeetings between staff members
and levels of leadership.
These are often held bydepartments and they actually
are rated the most usefulmeeting, according to workers.
In tech, another term maysimply be a check-in.
So if the words one-on-ones arethrowing you off of what that
(02:37):
is, you're used to differenttype of meetings.
Think of this as just acheck-in.
But what a one-on-one is not isit's not just a typical work
meeting, it's not just a staffmeeting of sorts.
It really is focusing onmentoring an employee.
But keep in mind, it's also anopportunity for that employee to
provide feedback to you as theleader.
Now Simon Sinek encourages usto be the leader that you wish
(03:01):
that you had.
So the question lies how can we,as leaders, have healthy and
productive one-on-one meetingswith those entrusted to our care
?
Well, to determine that, we'refirst going to need to look at
the benefits of one-on-ones, andthere's four I want to point
out to you.
First of all is retention,because in one-on-ones you're
providing that opencommunication and regular
(03:22):
feedback that can help avoidunnecessary turnover.
The second one's going to bebuilding the business.
Those one-on-ones help improveproductivity.
Even motivation and quality ofa team member's work goes up and
they can create a loyalty or abuy-in because of the
opportunity to have that teammember share back with you.
They're buying into thatbusiness and they can also offer
(03:48):
that personal growth to yourteam and work on problem solving
instead of just problemidentifying, as well as they can
help increase the sales andtransaction counts which every
business is looking for, right.
The third one is they helpcultivate the culture.
So having that one-on-onetaking that time as a leader to
sit down with those that youoversee builds a trust in your
(04:08):
leadership.
It can help boost morale anddevelop that teamwork mentality.
It also shows a respect to theteam because you are taking time
to sit down and hear them out,but it also is going to gain
their respect towards you andalso credibility to you as a
leader.
And then the fourth one is itprotects the brand and the
(04:30):
business.
So sitting down and havingthose one-on-one meetings can
help avoid some of that negativePR, depending on what age group
you work with.
If you're working withteenagers or those younger, it
can also kind of negate the overparental involvement, because
the teen knows exactly wherethey lie.
Or even, let's face it somespouses tend to get a little
(04:53):
involved, so it can help easethat as well.
And then, of course, protectingfrom legal issues, because
you're already aware ofsituations.
You're already having thosecommunications and those
conversations, so all of thatcan help protect the brand.
So all four of those theretention, building the business
, helping cultivate the cultureand protecting your brand and
your business are all benefitsto why it's so important to sit
(05:16):
down and have these one-on-onemeetings with your team.
Now, all of these things we areresponsible for as leaders, and
as leaders we're entrusted withthose we lead.
It's not a right, nor is itjust an obligation, but it truly
is something we've beenentrusted with as a leader.
When you look at it that way,it really does take a different
approach on things that our goalas a leader is to coach, it's
(05:41):
to train, it's to develop andhelp build the bench in our
businesses.
It's to help invest and mentorand grow and, of course, that
retention right.
Going back to Simon Sinek,another thing he has said before
is that leadership is not aboutbeing in charge, it's about
taking care of those in yourcharge.
(06:01):
So that's exactly what you'redoing with one-on-one meetings
is showing that care to thosethat have been entrusted to you
and your leadership.
So that brings us to questionnumber two how can we set up
one-on-ones for success?
Well, we can look at threesteps again here.
The first one's going to be allin our approach.
(06:21):
There's so much that can gointo the approach of a
one-on-one.
One thing you can look at isthe timing.
Never send a text when angry orhungry or emotional.
We talk about that in my book,facelift.
Well, the same thing applieshere for having a one-on-one is
we need to make sure that we'renot sitting down to having these
(06:41):
meetings when we are needing tohave that meal, you know, going
into lunchtime, or we've justcome out of something very
emotional, or we're angry aboutsomething, or whatever it might
be, or even tired, even tiredright.
Avoid them, then at all costs.
Try to set it up for successwith that team member in a
different frame of mind.
Avoid the distractions as well.
I try to turn my phone over soit doesn't light up and maybe
(07:05):
it's not going to distract me,but it could distract even the
person I'm with, which signalsoh, something else is vying for
my attention.
And so even removing some ofthose distractions or avoiding
the distractions by simplyturning your phone over so that
you know that person you're with, they are aware they are what's
most important right now.
I think that's so important.
(07:26):
My dad used to always tell usthat the person that's most
important should be the personthat you're sitting with right
now.
Not that phone call unless it'san emergency or not, that text
you need to send real quick, butthe person that you're
presently with.
Of course, with that timingalso is allotting enough time,
not just, oh, I have a quick 10minutes before we're end of day
(07:46):
or five minutes before my nextmeeting, but making sure you
allot enough time, because, justas we shared, this is just as
much for you as it is for them,and so you need to allow them
enough time to be able to sharewhat they need to with you.
So you might be able to get allyour stuff out in five minutes.
Okay, but does that allow themenough time to respond to things
that you need to share withthem, or for them to bring forth
(08:07):
to you items that might be ontheir list to talk to you about?
Another thing we can look aboutin our approach is to praise
publicly and disciplineprivately.
We should never speak negativein front of others, right, so
cautious on that.
I know that for some they donot hold this mindset, but I
believe it's tried and true.
(08:28):
It's something I will alwayslive by is praising publicly,
but always discipline privately.
Another thing with our approachis avoiding assumptions.
So when we do sit down in thoseone-on-one meetings and instead
of just off the wall, thismanager said that you need to
work on this, but I really don'tknow why.
Said that you need to work onthis, but I really don't know
(08:48):
why.
Just you need to work on it.
That's not going to work, right, that's not going to be
effective.
So have examples of whatcritiques that you need to share
with that team member, of howthey can improve their
performance, maybe a situationthat took place or a project
that didn't go well, or a timelapse that they had on something
that was due.
Don't just throw it out thereas a blanket statement.
(09:11):
Make sure you have somethingconcrete to be able to provide
for them so that they canimprove Along with those
assumptions.
Making sure that we don't assumethat they know the expectation.
We sometimes forget, especiallywhen we've been at a company
for a long amount of time, theamount of time someone else has
been there right, and what hasbeen said or done, or
expectations or rules that havecome and gone.
(09:31):
And so, instead of assumingthat they know the expectations,
go for them again with them,help them out, give them the
benefit of the doubt and don'talways assume that they've been
shown the right way to dosomething either.
As we have, people move in andout of leadership roles, things
can be taught a littledifferently, and so it's never
(09:52):
harmful to gently show them theright way to do something, even
if it's showing them again.
We can also show that care andcompassion Everyone has
different learning styles andabilities and talents and making
sure that we're never sittingdown in a one-on-one to come
from a judgmental place, butsetting that tone where we show
(10:12):
the care and compassion to them.
One way to set that tone is towatch the you usage right.
That can create a defensiveness.
So, for example, instead of Iwant to sit down with you and
talk about your behavior, youcan instead change that.
Soften it to hey, I'd love tosit down with you and talk about
your behavior.
You can instead change that.
Soften it to you know, hey, I'dlove to sit down and connect.
We just wanted to help withsome areas for some personal
(10:33):
growth here in the company, andit's a softer way where they're
going to be more open andreceptive to hearing what you
have to say.
Make sure that you focus on thetopic at hand.
So, just as we talked aboutmaking sure we have examples,
make sure that we stick to whatwe're sitting down to talk with
them about.
There are some times that wecan get a little heated or
frustrated, and so we startbringing up stuff that doesn't
(10:54):
really help deal with the issue.
It's called chasing a squirrelis what I often refer to it and
it can just add fuel to the fire.
So, stay on topic and, at theend of the day, remember we're
all on the same team, so weshould have our leaders backs
right, those who are our seniorleaders, above us, as well as
those who might be, on thesimilar roles that we fulfill
(11:18):
being able to support them.
But it also is very much a sameteam concept with our employees
that we're working with ourteam members.
Whomever we are having theseone-on-ones with, we need to
come together collectively thatwe're on, at the end of the day,
we're on the same team, so workas a way to, as I always like
to say, that everyone leaveswith their dignity and our
(11:40):
approach is going to helpaccomplish the actual content
and the outcome which we'regoing to get to here in a moment
Now.
Technology entrepreneur BenHorowitz says the key to a good
one-on-one meeting is theunderstanding that it's the
employee's meeting, rather thanthe manager's meeting, that can
take a different look on thesemeetings.
That, as we go into that stepnumber two of how to set up the
(12:04):
one-on-ones for success is ourattitude Realizing that this
meeting, this one-on-one, thischeck-in, is just as much for us
as it is for them.
What do I not do?
Well, what do I need to hearthat I probably don't want to
hear?
These are things we should beopen to, to, where we can learn
(12:24):
and grow as we step away fromthat meeting too, and as we're
having our attitude with ourteam members and those we've
been entrusted to lead, we'realso entrusted with that person
and their information.
So things that they share withus we at times should be a vault
.
Now, I completely understandthat if things are illegal or
(12:46):
something that could cause themharm, we need to speak out and
get help and seek those whowould be able to advise us and
provide wisdom or evenexperience into something like
this.
But what our team members sharewith us is not the next gossip
to go share around the nextstaff meeting with the senior
leadership.
It's to be vaulted that all ofour team members, all of our
(13:09):
employees, should be able totrust us and, as well with that,
the trust that we can takeaction, or even take action in
following up with them about anyideas or questions that they
have that we need to research orinquire about with our
superiors, or if we just need tobe a sounding board with them.
The lack of action, of justbeing able to sit there and
(13:30):
listen and let them be able toshare with us what they need to
get off and vent or askquestions about.
We're truly there to mentorright and help build them up in
their growth, their role andagain learn from them as well.
Our attitude should be ofcomplete humility.
(13:51):
Let the wise person show up,not the foolish.
That's something I've had tolive by often when I get into
meetings that have my faceturning red or my blood boiling
is let the wise person show up,not the foolish, and so often
humility goes into that.
At the end of the day, it isokay to not be okay, it is okay
(14:13):
to not win every war right, andit is okay to have not
compromised who we are, but makecompromises that are in the
best interest of the businessand even of the people that
we're interested to serve.
So adding our attitude ofhumility.
Last aspect of our attitudewould be listen more than you
(14:33):
speak.
My dad always taught me that wehave one mouth and two ears for
a reason.
Now, growing up, I talked a lot.
I never understood that, butnow, as a leader, I get it To
listen more than we speak inthese one-on-ones and be able to
truly hear what our teammembers are telling us, what our
employees are saying, and allowthem the opportunity to have
(14:56):
that safe space with us to beable to share.
And again, that really has somuch to do with our attitude.
Now, the third benefit we canlook at is our application.
So, again, going back to whatwe just alluded to a little bit
ago, is what we're talking about, the content of that one-on-one
.
We can have openers, sosomething of what's something
(15:20):
you're looking forward to thisweekend or what's one of your
recent accomplishments you'remost proud of here at work or in
your life.
But then, once we get past someof those things, it can be hard
to attack the nitty gritties ofthe meeting that we're really
needing to tackle, right?
Maybe you're having to dealwith a difficult issue, or even
doing a write-up or somethinglike that.
(15:41):
So we can do a tactic that'sreferred to as bookends, where
you provide a compliment, thenyou address the issue and then
you encourage with a complimentand it's not that necessarily
that you're sugarcoatingalthough, let's face it, it kind
of is but it's really allowingthem to first hear what they're
doing well.
(16:01):
But then let them know there isimprovement that can be made
and, let's face it, we all haveimprovements that can be made
but then you're also going tore-encourage them, and that
could be going back to thecompliment, or it could even be
what issue you just addressed.
So maybe you provide acompliment to them and they say
that you know.
One thing that we'd really liketo see you work on is this, and
(16:23):
I fully believe you can getthere.
You know I want to help you, Iwant to support you in doing
that, but I know you can do it.
So again, you've complimentedthem, you've addressed the issue
and then you're encouragingwith a compliment or your belief
in them.
Another tactic for lack ofbetter words that you can use in
the content is mirroring.
So sometimes we're going tohave those one-on-one
conversations where it's likethey're not getting it.
(16:46):
They really are notunderstanding you.
I keep sitting down with themand it's like I just want to
beat my head up against the wall.
Right, they're just not gettingit, and these conversations
tend to be a little bit more Idon't want to say stern, but
they're not as just friendly.
But you're sitting there andyou have to end the conversation
with okay, what I hear yousaying is, and then you repeat
(17:09):
back to them to make sure thatyou're understanding what
they're trying to tell you or,in a different scenario, you
might need to ask it of them hey, can you summarize what we just
talked about, just to make surewe're on the same page, because
otherwise it's just like theexample earlier leading into
this, where the boss and theemployer are going into the
meeting and they have totallytwo different, contradictory
(17:32):
perceptions of what this meetingis going to be.
For we want to make sure thatwe're on the same page, and
mirroring can really help usdepart a meeting and make sure
that we are leaving on the samepage to go tackle whatever needs
to be tackled or addressed.
Sometimes in our one-on-ones,we're also going to have to be
the moderator where somethingmight come up, where they start
(17:53):
complaining about Sally Sue andit's like well, hold on, she's
actually here in the officetoday.
Let's go grab her and let'sbring her in and let's see if we
can address this.
So, making sure that we'reloyal to the absent, but
stepping in as that moderator,bringing someone else in when we
need to so that we can help ourteam deal with conflict and be
(18:14):
able to do so in a healthy way,things that might open up for
maybe an opportunity to remindyour team of the benefits that
your company offers.
If they start talking about I'mreally struggling with this
health issue, maybe sharing withthem oh, did you know that we
(18:34):
offer this gym membership or weoffer service for you to be able
to go see a counselor orwhatever it might be.
But listen for those triggerwords that might allow you the
opportunity to offer them aresource or some sort of support
and that can sometimes comefrom within your own benefits or
perhaps it might alert you to aconflict you may need to
(18:58):
address, such as that might pullinto a moderator role then, or
even an opportunity to retainthem.
So if they start talking abouthow they've been talking with
the company that approached themor whatever that starts letting
you know they have one foot outthe door.
So if they are a employee thatyou want to retain, you might
(19:18):
want to get on the ball.
You might want to see whatneeds to be done in that
retention.
Now, some applications orcontent.
I suggest is getting to knowthat employee's love language,
because that really helps usshow appreciation for them and
it can also help with thatretention too, because sometimes
we're doing all these things,we're giving them these gifts or
whatever, and their lovelanguage was words of
(19:40):
affirmation.
They just needed an attaboy,right.
So making sure we know theirlove language so that we can
best meet them in a way thatthey will be receptive of what
we're trying to express andshare with them.
Another one is to learn theirlearning style.
This helps us know how theybest grasp the information.
So if we sit there and we'retelling them all this
information but they're one thatneeds to see it, that helps us
(20:03):
know.
We need to change how we kindof present things to them.
So adapting to the differentlearning styles for each of our
team members, but overall,ensure the one-on-one has the
vibe of a natural conversation.
We're looking for that, aimed ofgrowth, for personally and
professionally, and evenrelationally.
And so, as you do that withyour team, you want it to be
(20:24):
natural.
You want to be able to get toknow your team and for both of
you to feel comfortable beingable to sit down and have that
time together.
Now, as you conclude, don'thesitate to see how you can grow
.
As we've talked about.
This is just as much for you,so you can ask questions for
their feedback, things like whatis something I need to hear
(20:45):
that maybe I don't want to hear,or what is something we should
be talking about that we aren'ttalking about, or what's a
challenge our team isexperiencing that I might not be
aware of or I need to know, oreven how can I best support you
this week?
Those are all different waysthat we can tap into our own
opportunity for feedback fromour team, which is great for our
(21:07):
own learning and growth anddevelopment.
Now, former US PresidentWoodrow Wilson said the man who
is swimming against the streamknows the strength of it, and
this is a reminder that we needto anticipate the challenges
that come so that we can beprepared within these
one-on-ones.
So question number three whatare the challenges or the growth
(21:29):
opportunities for leadingone-on-ones?
We've gotta be aware of them,right.
So five of them I would sharewith you.
We need to prioritize havingone-on-ones with our team, but
then also prepare for them.
So, whether that be feedbackfor them, content to discuss, be
prepared so it can beproductive.
The second one would be beself-aware.
(21:49):
So as a leader, we must haveemotional intelligence.
You know maturity as a leaderand if you feel you or one of
your leaders could use help inthis area, I would encourage you
to check out season five,episode one here in Holly's
Highlights, where we thoroughlygo over with a professor in
emotional intelligence.
So really good episode there.
Third one is it can be achallenge for you to be
(22:10):
vulnerable, especially with yourteam.
It is so hard for us to justput ourselves out there
sometimes, but Headspace Healthinforms us that being vulnerable
can help us to better knowourselves while cultivating and
strengthening our relationshipswith others.
Let me say that again, beingvulnerable can help us to better
know ourselves whilecultivating and strengthening
(22:34):
our relationships with others,and that's exactly what we're
doing in these one-on-ones, andBrene Brown acknowledges this is
a challenge for many, as sheboldly claims.
To be vulnerable is acourageous act.
So you are a leader.
We have to take courage eachand every day, right?
This is another area to takecourage in to be vulnerable with
your team.
It is okay to say I can relate.
(22:57):
I messed up when I started inthis business too.
This is what I did.
This is what I learned from it.
Whatever might be going on,that you can relate with them or
share with them.
To be relatable, but bevulnerable with your team, and
that's not always a comfortablespot to be in.
Another one, another challengeis in that uncomfortable is
(23:20):
sitting in the awkward,especially if it's a hard
conversation.
You know, dealing with aconflict or accountability is
sitting in the awkward If you'relike me.
If there's any dead space,white space, whatever you want
to call it, I feel like I needto fill it.
I'll keep talking on or ask hima question or maybe just skip
over something.
(23:40):
Now, my friends, as leaders, wehave got to sit back and get a
little comfortable in sitting inthe awkward.
And that's the ironic part is,it's not comfortable not for
many of us but we've got tolearn to sit in it because it
allows the space, allows thetime, allows the silence for the
(24:03):
other person to be able tothink or respond, or even feel
like they need to respond, or,if nothing else, for both of you
just to sit in the awkward.
And lastly, the challenge tofollow through with company
procedures, such as introducingnew or unpopular policies or
documents, or even having tocomplete a negative write up on
(24:26):
that employee.
That can be a challenge.
That can be a hard thing,because not everyone deals with
conflict well, but it's soimportant that if you have
certain company procedures thatyou need to introduce, or a
policy that has to beimplemented and you're the one
having to share it, or a writeup that needs to be done,
anything like that needs to beaccomplished.
(24:46):
It's going to be a challenge.
Sit in the awkward of havingthose moments, even where you
have to press forward in doingsome things, that it doesn't
come with the fun part of beinga leader right Now.
Steve Jobs said that it doesn'tmake sense to hire smart people
and then tell them what to do.
We hire smart people so thatthey can tell us what to do, and
(25:08):
the application here is we needto be listening to our team,
what our team is saying.
Everything that happens withinour company, whether it be
surveys that you do perhaps youdo a survey through, like
SurveyMonkey, if you do ityourself, or maybe you're a part
of a deeper survey, such aswith Gallup Listen to what your
employees are trying to tell you.
(25:29):
Don't just write it off of ohwell, someone was in a bad mood
or whatever, because researchshows that for every one person
who speaks up, another 10 feelthat way or are thinking it.
So really, look at thosecomments and even the analytics
of those results of thosesurveys, to be able to see what
(25:49):
changes might need to be madeand then have a pulse on the
culture of your organization.
Make sure that you are tappinginto being around the water
cooler or taking people to lunchor maybe even attending that
out of work social, so that youcan have a pulse on that culture
of your organization, becausethe culture of our businesses is
(26:12):
so vital to our overall teammember mood and business
reflection, but also theproduction and even that
retention that goes forward intothe sustainability of our
business.
So have a pulse on the cultureof your organization.
Now.
The final question most likelyon your mind right now is how
often should you be havingone-on-ones?
(26:33):
Well, there's no necessarilyright or wrong, but it depends
on your availability.
You know what can you commit toand be consistent with or
follow through on, and also lookat how big your team is and who
all is involved.
If it's just you, can you trainsome of your leaders to help
spread the load, or is the teamdivided by levels?
So do you take senior leaderlevels for one-on-ones and your
(26:55):
senior leaders take leaders andyour leaders take your frontline
?
How does it work?
Again, what can you all beconsistent with and committed to
and then follow through on isso important.
And then, what does yourlogistics look like?
Are there a few shifts, such asday shift, night shift and
graveyard?
Does everyone work in theoffice?
Are they remote?
(27:15):
Are they hybrid?
Do you all work in the samecity or state or spread across
the country or world?
Depending on the nature of yourbusiness, is there a constant
sense of urgency or highturnover, short or long
timeframe projects?
All of these can help youdetermine the frequency of your
one-on-ones Weekly, monthly,quarterly or for some, they do
(27:37):
them even annually.
Now I've worked for companiesthat had annual one-on-ones,
quarterly one-on-ones, monthlyone-on-ones and even no
one-on-ones.
There's not a cookie cutterformula.
It's doing the right thing foryour organization.
Author and educator Peter FDrucker said management is doing
things right.
Leadership is doing the rightthings.
(27:57):
See the difference there.
Management is doing thingsright.
Leadership is doing the rightthings.
So it might.
I highly encourage you to dothe right things in leading your
team through having at least aone-on-one, but do what works
for your team.
It doesn't have to look exactlylike someone else's.
(28:18):
Now, if you're still a littlenervous to implement one-on-ones
with your team, or if you'dlike just to learn more on this
topic and grow in this area, I'drecommend four resources for
you For our readers.
I would recommend Coaching forImproved Work Performance.
My apologies, I forget whowrote it.
Would recommend Coaching forImproved Work Performance.
My apologies, I forget whowrote it, but Coaching for
Improved Work Performance youshould be able to find that on
(28:38):
Amazon or any bookstore.
And then the second one is myall time favorite.
You've heard me mention itbefore.
I think every not only leadershould read this, but I think
every team member at any jobshould read this, and that is
Lessons from the Mouse.
I love, love, love that book,lessons from the Mouse.
Then, second of all, for ourauditory learners, I suggest
(28:59):
many of the episodes right hereon Holly's Highlights podcast.
There are many leadershipepisodes, such as how to be a
leader's others follow, how tobe a leader of character,
emotional intelligence as aleader, what our body language
says about us, what your lovelanguage is, how to have those
tough conversations, how to eventalk to people, nuggets of
wisdom, even one about learningour leadership style.
(29:20):
So there are so, so many thatare available here.
I just highly recommend thatyou just go through and find
what might be relative to you.
And then the third perhaps evenfind a mentor.
So my mom used to teach us havea mentor and then be a mentor,
so someone you can learn fromand then one you can pay it
forward to, in investing andpouring into them.
(29:42):
But look around you in your lifeof who stands out that you want
to learn from, their modelingof their exhibited behaviors and
outcomes.
I'm not going to go to someonewho's in debt if I need
financial advice, right.
So you want to go to someonewho what you want to learn in
(30:04):
and how you want to grow.
You're not going to be a cookiecutter of them.
Right, you are you.
You have your own identity.
You have your own strengths andtalents and purpose in life.
But we can learn from mentorswho have not only gotten it
right, but gotten it wrong andwas able to get back up and keep
moving right.
(30:24):
And so look for mentors in yourlife that you go.
I really want to learn fromthem.
It's not that I want to be likethem.
I want to learn from thembecause I feel like they have a
lot to teach me and they exhibitthe behaviors I want to reflect
as well.
And then the fourth one would behire a good leadership or life
coach.
I just happen to be versed inthis and would be honored to
(30:44):
work with you, but if not me, Ihighly recommend that.
If you're just needing someonethat can kind of come alongside
you and coach you.
This would need to be someonewith wisdom and advice in your
area your niche, I think is veryimportant that can have some
insight in diverse areas.
But to be able to help you growas a leader, be able to
(31:04):
approach things in a perhaps outof the box thinking way that
you haven't looked at, but thenalso challenge you, hold you
accountable and often we don'tlike that accountability.
But a good leadership lifecoach can help push back and get
us out of that comfort zone alittle bit.
So I'd love to connect with you.
Feel free to go on tohollykirbycom and then under
(31:27):
work with me.
You can find all theinformation there.
As US Ambassador andRepresentative Pete Coxtra said,
real leadership is leadersrecognizing that they serve the
people that they lead.
So may we all be the bestleaders we can through serving
our team well as we buy into thebenefits of conducting
one-on-ones, having successfulone-on-ones, overcoming the
(31:48):
challenges of one-on-ones andtruly listening to our team in
those one-on-ones and check-ins.
Good luck, my friend.
You've got this.
Thank you for joining me onthis journey of life.
I hope that today's highlighthas been encouraging, inspiring
and equipping so you can go outand live your life full of
(32:10):
purpose.
I'd be honored if you'd take amoment to leave a review or,
better yet, subscribe.
We can also stay in touch byjoining my email list at
hollykirbycom.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
That's H-O-L-L-Y-C-U-R-B-Ycom.
Until next time, make it agreat day for a great day.
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