From Firefighter to Advocate: Scott Gieselhardt's Journey Through PTSD, Addiction, and Hope

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Discover the compelling journey of Scott Gieselhardt, a retired firefighter who turned his struggle with PTSD and addiction into a powerful mission to aid mental health awareness among first responders. Scott's 24-year tenure with the Frazee Fire Department in Minnesota exposed him to the emotional complexities and unique pressures faced by first responders, especially in tight-knit communities where emergencies often hit close to home. He joins us on the Hometown Hero Outdoors Podcast to share his transformative story, offering hope and invaluable insights into recognizing and confronting mental health challenges.

Scott's experiences underline the critical role of peer support and innovative therapies like EMDR in recovery, illustrating the profound impact of having a compassionate network. Through heartfelt personal anecdotes, he reveals the emotional toll of invincibility and vulnerability that can lead to substance addiction and mental health struggles. By recounting a life-altering moment of reaching out for help, Scott showcases how human connection can change lives, emphasizing the importance of being present for others in similar crises.

We also explore Scott's influential outreach program "Seeing in Color," which tackles mental health issues among high school students through storytelling and visual transformation. Additionally, Scott shares insights from his work at the First Responder Bridge Retreat, highlighting the vital support offered to first responders and their families. As he continues his advocacy, Scott’s message of resilience and hope serves as a beacon for those navigating their paths to recovery, demonstrating the power of shared experiences in healing and community well-being.

www.seeingincoloragain.com

Produced by Phil Ewert Productions

Theme Music: Hero's Journey
Joel Loopez Tunepocket.com
Licensed by: Phil Ewert Productions

hometownherooutdoors.org

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
In the land of 10,000 lakes, a remarkable movement
was born.
Welcome to Hometown HeroOutdoors.
We are dedicated to honoringour military service members,
veterans and first responders byproviding them with
unforgettable outdoorrecreational opportunities.
We believe those who haveserved and sacrificed so much

(00:24):
for our country and communitiesdeserve a chance to reclaim
their spirit and find healing inthe great outdoors.
This is Hometown Hero Outdoors.
Welcome to the Hometown HeroOutdoors Podcast.

(00:50):
Here is your host.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Chris Tatro.
Hello listeners, welcome backto the Hometown Hero Outdoors
podcast.
This week we have a specialguest named Scott Gieselhardt.
Did I say that right?

Speaker 3 (01:10):
Gieselhardt.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
Gieselhardt.
I'm sorry, I'm so bad withnames.
It's okay.
Scott is with us this week andwe have a pretty good show here.
It's a unique one.
Scott is a former firefighterand a lot of various things,
does a lot of public speaking.
A former firefighter and a lotof various things, does a lot of
public speaking, and I'm justgoing to go through his bio here
to introduce him and then we'lldive into his life and his
career and the different thingsthat he's been through to share
with everyone and we've had acouple of firefighters on, but

(01:34):
I'm pretty excited about havingScott here.
So Scott is a 24-year retiredfirefighter and former assistant
chief from the Frazee FireDepartment here in Minnesota.
He's a mental healthpractitioner and certified peer
support specialist who hasreceived crisis intervention
training, suicide preventiontraining and critical incident
stress management training.
He worked in mental healthcrisis stabilization, helping

(01:56):
individuals get back on theirfeet after mental health crisis
situations.
Scott is a PTSD addiction andsuicide attempt survivor.
He is now a national speakerwho shares his message of
healing and redemption withthousands of first responders
and other professionals.
Scott is a member of the stateof North Dakota CIS team and on
the state of Minnesota SuicidePrevention Task Force.

(02:19):
He has spoken in front ofthousands of first responders
and other professionals as akeynote speaker at many
conferences and events aroundthe country, such as the State
Fire Chiefs and FirefightersConferences, international
Association of Fire Chiefs andNational Volunteer Fire Council
Conferences, emdria Conference,the First Responders Bridge

(02:40):
Retreat, first Responders BridgeRetreat.
He has many articles that arepublished, including Fire Rescue
1, fire Engineering, nvfc, helpLetter, articles by the
Associated Press, and he is alsoa co-author of the IAFC's
Yellow Ribbon Report.
Under the Helmet, performing anInternal Size Up, he also
speaks at churches, high schools, colleges, mental health

(03:01):
conferences and other communityevents.
So Scott's program is titledSeeing in Color Again a
Firefighter's Post-TraumaticSuccess Story.
It is the story of afirefighter's journey of
survival and message of hope forthose who have PTSD, addiction
and suicidal thoughts.
Scott is a pioneer and talkedabout the topic when it was
being swept under the rug andbefore it was acceptable to talk

(03:23):
about.
Topic when it was being sweptunder the rug and before it was
acceptable to talk about.
He is speaking out of hislife-changing, about his
life-changing story, in hopes ofhelping others recognize PTSD
symptoms and help prevent themfrom going down the same path
that he did.
His presentation has beencredited with turning many
people's lives around and savinglives.
So, scott, you've done a lotand you've been through a lot,
and I feel like you have a verygood story to tell.

(03:45):
So thank you for being on theshow.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
You know, being that you have a 24 year um career in
firefighting.
You know, one of the biggestthings that we talk about here
at hometown, here outdoors is,you know, our outdoor adventures
.
But mental health is the goal.
So I know you've been to acouple of our events.
It sounds like up in Eagle Bend, is that accurate?

Speaker 3 (04:08):
Yes, yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
And that's our annual barbecue that we host up there
called Barbecue Boot Camp, andthat's where you got connected
with us.
Do you want to talk?

Speaker 3 (04:19):
about how you got connected with the organization
and how you attended that.
Yeah, I met Steve and I'm noteven going to try to pronounce
his last name, but he's fromEagle Bend, he's a firefighter
and he's heard me speak and heasked if I'd come and speak at
their barbecue and I did notknow what to expect.
But wow, that is an event thatit's absolutely amazing.
I mean to have the professionalcookers come in and share their

(04:43):
secrets and share their trickson how to cook brisket and
chicken and pork butt and allthe steaks, and it's just really
cool to have that one-on-oneconversation with those guys.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
It is.
Yeah, no, it's a phenomenalevent.
People are always excited to goto it.
I think we've had some repeatmembers go to it that just
absolutely look forward to it,and I think it's great that you
were able to go there and speakto everyone.
You know, and a couple of yearsback, our mission did not
include firefighters, but weexpanded that and that was our
intent from the beginning.
We just wanted to make surethat we understood what we're
doing before we went there, andI think it's great that the

(05:17):
firefighter community isinvolved, because you guys do go
through stuff as well.
You know, I think all firstresponders have their own
dynamic of different things thatthey engage with and can be
affected differently, and youknow the recent stats that I saw
regarding firefighters andhaving suicidal thoughts is high
, and attempts made or a planfor attempts is also high, and

(05:41):
that can't be overlooked.
And I think it's great thatyou're here and um, you know
that you are continued to shareyour story with others and help
turn people's experience around.
But let's start with yourcareer.
Let's talk about who Scott is,where you came from, how you got
into firefighting, where youlive, um, start from there.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Uh well, I.
I grew up in Detroit lakes,Minnesota, and from there I
became a mechanic and moved toFrazee, minnesota, which is just
10 miles down the road, andwhen I moved there, one of the
firefighters that worked at thedealership that I worked at
approached me and asked me if Iwanted to be a firefighter.
I never thought of it and nextthing, you know, I filled the

(06:23):
application out and I became afirefighter.
And it's a small town, 1,300population, so we're a volunteer
firefighter, fire departmentand, yeah, wow, fire department
became like a second family tome and it was amazing the things
I learned and the camaraderieit was.
It was absolutely amazing justto get to know everybody in town

(06:43):
through the fire department.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah's, the communities are close in it,
especially in those smallercommunities.
I mean the large cities too,but those small communities,
especially in the fire world,even law enforcement, um, they,
they are very close in it and,uh, they become family for sure.
Like what you just said andthat's something that's been
said several times on thispodcast is how, even with the

(07:06):
military world or anyone that weserve, you know, they they do
become family and integrate withyourself and they are a support
system for you.
And so what is your journeythrough the fire department?
Look like, what are some of thethings that you encountered, or
things that you had to gothrough, or some of the
struggles, the ups and downs,like what are the things that
stand out to you that you'd liketo speak about?

Speaker 3 (07:26):
Well, as a mechanic by trade, I was really focused
in on auto extrication the jobsof life.
We had a lot of mechanics onthe fire department and we got
pretty good at doing autoextrication because we knew the
vehicles and that kind of got mein a position where I was

(07:46):
seeing a lot of fatalities.
So yeah, I mean, over the yearsI went from I moved up the
ranks pretty quick to captain toassistant chief, doing a lot of
the extrication trainings, andI loved it.
It was fun and yeah, it camewith some side effects, though
you know I thought I wasbulletproof and I was this

(08:07):
firefighter and new things werebothering me.
But suck it up attitude in asmall community.
We're recognizing the people inthe cars, but you know there
was so much other stuff on theother side of it that the
pancake feeds and the fun stuffthat we're doing with the
community and and the uh, theschool, you know, having the

(08:27):
kids down to the fire station,let them.
Let them, you know, spray thehose and be in trucks.
And the fire prevention wasawesome.
It was just I got a high fromit giving back to the community.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah, you know, and those small town relationships
like you just talked about too.
You know, yeah, and those smalltown relationships like you
just talked about too, you knowthose can be very difficult to
handle because you do show up tocalls with people that you do

(09:00):
know and can stick with you forquite a while and in times it
even sticks with you when youdon't know what it's going to.
You know it can come up laterdown the road, down the road.
So you're talking about some ofyour, the community involvement
that you had the highs, thelows, being able to engage with
the fun times but also some ofthe other complications that
came with that.
You know you thought you'rebulletproof.
So what did?
What did that look like?
What was Scott beingbulletproof?
What were the complications orissues that kind of arose over

(09:22):
time?

Speaker 3 (09:24):
Well, you know, when you've taken cuts of a body out
of a car and you recognize them,or out of a fire or something,
and you're walking down thestreet the next few days or a
week, two weeks later, and youknow you're face-to-face with
their loved ones and you justit's difficult.
You know you have everythingtogether one second and then all

(09:46):
of a sudden you can't speak andyou get embarrassed and you
feel guilty.
And sometimes I'd have to walkacross the street and I was
avoiding people, avoidingbusinesses that were owned by,
you know, family members orsomething like that.
And yeah, I felt bulletproof,like that.
And yeah, I felt bulletproof.
But at the same time, you know,there was, there was a part of

(10:11):
me that felt like I was failingpeople, like I was weak, like I
was defective, and that keptgrowing and growing.
And the bad part about it was,as first responders, we're
helpers, we're always out therehelping the community and we
don't do too well of a jobhelping ourselves.
And I fell into that.
You know, who am I supposed togo ask for help?
You know I'm a firefighter, I'mhelping everybody else, so I

(10:32):
can't call 911.
I mean, I don't know what'sgoing on with my life with, all
of a sudden, the nightmares andthe flashbacks and the crosses
alongside the road.
It's like I'm supposed to bebetter than this.
You know I'm supposed to beable to handle this.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
So I sucked it up and , uh, it just kept growing like
an infection inside me, and youknow it's a lot of people go
through that.
A lot more than that thereneeds to be, you know, and not
saying there's any shame in thatat all, cause there isn't.
The same time, it's what you dowith it which is important.
I think that you know, as yousaid in your bio earlier, you
know you started talking aboutthese things prior to them being

(11:12):
more common, um, and I think itis becoming more prevalent
where people are discussing someof these mental health issues
that they do encounter in theirfirst responder military career.
And, uh, you know it does leadto things like avoidance and
I've experienced that myself.
I once lost a, and you know itdoes lead to things like
avoidance and I've experiencedthat myself.
I once lost a close friend.
You know that was up in theMille Lacs area, one of the
first ones on that call, andwatched him pass away, you know.

(11:35):
And then I was very close tothis family and a lot of
avoidance did happen there, youknow where, you know I he used
to own a local store and Iwouldn't go in there.
You know I was very close withhis wife and his children and
the avoidance does happen, um,and, and that's a sign that we
need to recognize in order tomove forward and to begin to

(11:55):
heal a bit.
But you know, as we wentthrough your bio too, you know
you talked about not only theavoidance piece, but you know
some of the mental health issuesand addictions.
Do you want to speak about that?

Speaker 3 (12:07):
Yeah, I my shop.
I built a shop in Frazee, butbefore that I rented a place
that was right across from thebar and it made it way too
convenient for me to go acrossthe street after work and it got
to the point where I wasshutting down the bar.
I was staying down there, youknow, after I got done working
all night long and I'd go homeand I had two sons at home and a

(12:28):
girlfriend and I startedisolating from them.
Something took over.
You know I'd rather be aroundmy friends shooting pool than
around my family.
That wasn't right.
It was, you know, the isolationat the shop.
Trying to work harder, workmore, you know, to keep my mind
busy.
So I went home and sat andwatched TV.
That's when things would catchup to me, even around my kids.

(12:52):
You know, there was times whenwe were at the playground and
the kids, you know, screaming,having fun at the playground,
also sounded like the kids thatwere screaming in the car
accidents or the parents thatwere screaming in the car
accidents.
There got to be a lot oftriggers.
Yeah, yeah, I just changed andin the addiction I started doing

(13:16):
a little meth with some friends.
That's something I neverbelieved in.
I never believed in drugs doingdrugs.
But here were some of myfriends not firefighters, but
some of my friends from the areaand I got into doing some meth.
And after a while I found outhey, you know, this isn't that
bad, I'm not going to getaddicted to this if I just use
it once or twice a month.
But as it went on I started touse it to work more hours, to

(13:41):
stay awake from my nightmares,and it caught up with me.
It got to the point where I wasat the end.
I was doing a line an hour.
I had to have the math.
It owned me, it took me over.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
That's a lot of math and sorry to hear that you know.
I think it's great that yourecognize that and move forward,
but I'm sure it was not easy.
You know what did that journeylook like?
Oh man.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
It got to the point where every time I closed my
eyes I was seeing my kidsfalling out of the sky on fire,
or they were trapped in a carand I couldn't get the jaws of
life going and I was replacingmy kids with the people that I
pulled out of the vehicles andit got very personal and the
nightmares and night terrors,night, you know, night was not
my friend.
Sleeping was definitely not anot a good thing for me and

(14:31):
that's not a good place to live.
Sleep deprivation was gettingto me when I used the meth to
stay awake.
That was the turning point.
After a while my fiancée, mygirlfriend she left me.
I had no reason to go homeanymore.
That's when I started doing alot of meth.
Trying to kill myself with themeth I figured I'd have a stroke

(14:52):
and being locked up in my shopall the time.
They'd never get to me in timewow, yeah, um, that's difficult.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
Those are probably some really dark times and that
that does consume people andsome people don't make it back
from that.
What?
What was the moment when youwere like something's got to
change.
What are the things that I needto do to make myself better and
be in a better place for myselfand my family?
Like, what was that moment?

Speaker 3 (15:23):
Well, unfortunate for me, it it went really downhill.
I went I mean, it was abasement, a basement, a rock
bottom.
It was after an argument I gotinto with my girlfriend it
wasn't really an argument, itwas all one-sided I just started
yelling at him and yelling atmy kids.
I mean, the anger was out ofcontrol.
And that was even before themeth, the PTSD.

(15:44):
I didn't know what PTSD was,but the anger of taking it out
on my loved ones.
And one day I was at theapartment her apartment and I
yelled at him.
And as I was driving down to theshop after that and I
threatened suicide like Iusually did, I was driving down
to the shop and I was sittingthere thinking about my hit list

(16:05):
.
I had a hit list.
I had a list of people I wasgoing to take out before I was
going to take an end to my life.
I mean, I was at that point andI told myself on the way down
to the shop I said this isstupid, I've turned into a
monster and I've got to stopmyself Because I'm going to put
this city on the map in a verybad way and my kids are going to

(16:26):
have to live with that.
So it was kind of weird that Ihad kind of a sense of clarity
that I had to do something.
Unfortunately, I took the wrongpath and I sat down in my shop
and I tried to end my life witha revolver.
And, man, I tell you what, whenthat hammer came down, that
thing was supposed to do its joband the hammer came down and
never touched a primer, but itclicked.

(16:47):
And that's when I did a Googlesearch clicked.
And that's when, uh, that'swhen I did a google search, I my
, my fingers danced across thekeyboard and anger, flashbacks,
nightmares and and and drugs,and I hit enter and ptsd filled
the screen.
I'm like, wait a minute, Ican't have ptsd.
I've never been in the military, you know.
So I, I did some research on itand that was the turning point

(17:10):
when I seen PTSD and yes, firstresponders are high risk for
PTSD and I'm like this explainseverything.
And that's when things turnedaround, and you know, having to
get to that point where I pulledthe trigger, that it sucks that
I had to go that far and I'm sograteful that I'm here and I

(17:32):
just hope that other peoplereach out before they get to
that point, because, man, I Ican't imagine what my family
would have been like without me,what the last 10 years would
have been like without me here,because, man, it's awesome.
Life is so much different sinceI reached out and got the help
I needed.
You said that was 10 years ago.
That was on July 22nd, actually, of 2014.

(17:55):
So I'm coming up on my 10-yearanniversary, but I'm not
celebrating a suicide attempt.
I'm celebrating the day that Ifound out I had PTSD and the day
I reached out for help and mylife turned around.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
No, it's great.
I'm glad you are here and Ithink you have a very story that
could probably resonate with alot of people, and I'm sure
you've seen that through youradditional career after that and
your recovery and yeah, that'sa lot.
I can only imagine what kind ofuphill climb it was after that.

(18:33):
You know the recovery piece andthe treatment and whatever
journey you had beyond that andbeing able to move forward also
was likely not easy, right, yeah?

Speaker 3 (18:46):
However, for me, I started making phone calls and
unfortunately, back in 2014, Ididn't get much.
The suicide hotline I calleddidn't answer and some other
phone numbers didn't work.
But finally I got a hold of afirefighter through a hotline
out on the East Coast and hestopped everything and was there

(19:07):
for me and he gave me contactsfor other people, other
firefighters that understoodPTSD and understood addiction,
and they stopped everything justto talk with me.
I mean, they were willing tojump on a plane to come meet me
because I was very suicidal.
But they, they helped meunderstand what therapies were
out there for me.
They actually gave me a phonenumber, so I I got an

(19:27):
appointment for the very nextmorning to start therapy.
They bent over backwards for meand if it wouldn't have been
for them, I would have nevermade it.
And the thing is, since thenI've seen this happen, not just
with helplines, but with justanybody, just being there for
you, because coming and sittingand being present with them and
saying, hey, you know, I don'twant you to go, I want to be

(19:48):
here for you, you're importantand you matter.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
We need you in this world.
Yeah, that means peer supportnetworks are significant and, uh
, you know, like us at HHO, noneof us are mental health
providers.
We are people that care and, uh, we have some training to
assist you, but we're not goingto treat you from start to
finish.
You know we are here as friendsand peers to stand you up, and
that's exactly what youexperienced.
It sounds like Yep.

Speaker 3 (20:15):
It's good.
And it's kind of had a rippleeffect, because now I've been
able to be there for others.
And you know, in that time theyreach out to me and a lot of
times it's like hey, here, my,you're my last call, you're all
I've got.
And it's like, hey, here are my, here are my last call, you're
all I've got.
And it's like well, I'm gladyou called because we're going
to get through this together too, just like that guy told me,

(20:36):
we're going to get through thistogether, we've gotcha, and that
that's exactly the same words Iuse for them, because I'm not
going to let them go.
I'll be there for them.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
Yeah, yeah, and that's a common thing that we
need to increase.
Doing more is being there andbeing there together, and we
have it happen in theorganization quite frequently
and unfortunately.
But I'm glad people arereaching out and asking.
It's the ones that don't thatwe're trying to help change and

(21:08):
get that mentality where.
We are there for them and we domean it.
And you had good friends thatcircled around you and stood you
up and started to move youforward.
That's good.
So when you came to the factwhere you got this help, you
started that therapy appointment.
What did that journey look like?

Speaker 3 (21:27):
That was interesting.
They told me about somethingcalled EMDR Eye Movement Descent
Station Reprocessing and it'ssomething I'd never heard of
before and they told me thatit's helped a lot of their
firefighters and this guy wasfrom the East Coast the one that
helped that answered that phonecall.
But he also connected me with aNew York firefighter and a

(21:49):
police chief from Chicago so Icould call him any time and and
they dropped everything just tobe there for me, even if it was
just 10 minutes or sometimes itwas an hour.
And they told me about the EMDR, they told me about the results
that other firefighters andfirst responders have had and
and I tell you what I I I kindof made a mistake at Google in

(22:09):
it, because I was a Google freak.
I Googled PTSD, I Googled EMDRand man, I was looking at this
stuff.
I was like, well, this stufflooks like witchcraft, this
looks like voodoo.
I don't know about this stuff.
They're going to hypnotize meand have me clucking like a
chicken and I don't know aboutthis, but I started the process
and after the very first EMDRtherapy, when I started talking

(22:31):
about the car accidents see, wenever debriefed, we didn't have
any debriefings.
After these bad calls, we wenthome, back to our families, back
to work or whatever, or to thebar, you know, we didn't talk
about it.
So finally, I was doing thesedebriefings years after these
things happened, years after allthis torment you know they
tormented me, the demons werejust eating me up.

(22:52):
Years after that I was finallyletting it out and it was
awesome.
I mean I that that firstsession I felt like I was a
hundred pounds lighter anddriving home from that session
is where my the title of myprogram came in seen in color
again, because it was in Augustof 2014.
I was driving on highway 10 byFargo and there was a sunflower

(23:16):
field and I stopped my car andhad to walk out into the
sunflower field because Icouldn't believe what I was
seeing.
I was seeing colors again.
I didn't realize how dark andgray and full of shadows my
world had become until, all of asudden, all the colors came
back and it was like neon signs.
I mean, I could tell you whatcolor something was, but it was

(23:38):
just amazing the colors and thehouses that appeared, that were
there for you know five, tenyears, but I had blinders on.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
So your brain was able to kind of refocus a bit
and be able to see the vibranceand everything that was going on
around you versus, you know,when it was suppressed.
Is that accurate?

Speaker 3 (23:56):
yeah, I mean, I processed the stuff that my
brain never processed, and a lotof that had to do with the ptsd
and then the meth on top ofthat, not sleeping, so I never
got into the REM mode of sleep,and that affected me too,
because you go into the REM modeof sleep is when your brain is
processing things and putting itaway the way it's supposed to
be, and I never gave my brain anopportunity to do that.

(24:19):
And that's where thedebriefings are so important
that when you debrief, you talkabout it and you get it out and
you hear other people talk aboutit and it helps you process
them.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
No, it makes sense.
You know, I think they're a lotmore common now.
You know, back in the day theywere not, you know, I think back
into my early career even.
You know, some of ourdebriefings never happened, like
that friend I talked about.
No, I never really had a formaldebriefing about that, and then
another situation at that.
After that, I never had adebriefing, but they are
important.
You know, it's being able to, um, recognize the different things

(24:52):
that you witnessed and wentthrough and, um, it does do
something in your brain.
You know, and you talked aboutemdr, and I've done that as well
, and it's, it's, uh, I, I feelyou, though, like when you're
talking about witchcraft.
You know, you hear about thedifferent things, the eye
movements or the paddles, um,that vibrate in your hands.
You know it is different, um,but I, you know it is different,
but I think you know, embracingit and understanding that you

(25:15):
know it's an attempt to begin toprocess all the things that
you've been through and youobserve does begins to segment
things in a way that you canprocess them and navigate those
situations better, and it's veryinteresting.
It's the science behind it isincredibly interesting, and
being able to read about how thebrain reacts to different

(25:38):
things like the eye movement andthe vibrations, and it's more
common now and I know they'restill doing more research on how
to develop it even further.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
So that's pretty interesting that you said that
you went through it too, becauseI literally just did it and, uh
, it's, it's pretty cool yeah,back in 2016, they invited me
down to minneapolis for theirinternational association of
embr, their their conference,and, uh, they just invited me
down there and I chatted withthe board of directors.
Next thing, you know, hey,you're getting up on stage and

(26:09):
you can tell your story.
I'm like, wow, so I was theonly one in the room that didn't
have a bachelor's degree andthere was 800 therapists in
there and it was live fed to Idon't know how many other
countries, but it's just likeyou know.
Yeah, I'll do that.
I mean, I'm not afraid to talkand tell my story because I
don't want anybody to go where Iwas and if my story can help

(26:34):
others reach out and you know,see that there's light at the
end of the tunnel, there is away out that PTSD is not a life
or death sentence.
There's ways out of this and,yeah, it's post-traumatic
success.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
No, and that is that kind of the kickoff to more of
your career beyond that, when itcame to being more involved
with speaking publicly andgetting involved with different
organizations or groups toengage in discussing some of the
things that you went through aswell as you know what others
can do to help themselves.

Speaker 3 (27:04):
Yeah, I, when I went through this, as soon as I
started going through therapyand I got better and I walked
away from the meth all by myselfafter that first session, I
just I didn't want that lifeanymore and I never, ever
thought I'd be free of meth.
I never thought I'd be free ofthe nightmares and the demons.
But when I got free of that Icouldn't shut up about it.
I told I started with theneighborhood, I started with my

(27:26):
fire department and then itmoved to the fire departments
around me.
And the next thing, you know,people were wanting me to come
in and speak because, you know,nobody was talking about it.
We were sweeping it under therug and it was the elephant in
the room that you can't sweepunder the rug.
And when I started talkingnationally well, even locally,
the look on people's faces and Iknew I wasn't the only one and

(27:51):
the phone calls that people werereaching out and talking and
wanting to meet with me and talkabout what they went through.
Because trust was there andeverything I do is confidential
when I meet with people and Idon't charge.
I've been blessed enough to.
You know I can't hop on a plane, but you know I've been blessed
enough that I can travel alittle bit.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
I take my speaker fees and stuff like that and use
it towards helping one-on-onesso you're really doing some good
work over there, you know, withbeing a resource to other
individuals who need that, andit does happen quite often where
you, when you start sharingyour story and giving everyone a

(28:33):
deep dive into your life andwhere you've been, that it does
resonate with people, andsometimes you're surprised by
the people that do reach out,and that's good, though.
I mean, that's the point ofsharing your journey, right.

Speaker 3 (28:47):
Yeah, and also, you know, explaining the signs and
symptoms without using aPowerPoint, without putting just
words up on a screen.
I mean, what is isolation?
You know I explain isolation by, you know, avoiding my family
and staying down at the shop andthinking I'm working more hours
to make more money.
But actually I'm isolating.
And the nightmares and theflashbacks and the recklessness.

(29:11):
You know that getting up on ahouse fire and jumping up on the
roof, the first guy up thereknowing the damn roof isn't safe
, or going into a house firethat I would never send anybody
in.
But you know, I wanted to die ahero and in the back of my mind
I really didn't value my lifemuch, but I didn't want anybody
else to risk their life comingafter me.
So it was weird how I alwayslooked behind me and looked

(29:32):
around me to say, hey, if I fallthrough this floor, is anybody
going to come after me?

Speaker 2 (29:38):
Because I don't want anybody else to get hurt.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
It's weird, you know, looking back at it, I was
really messed up.
And to be able to come out ofthis and physically be in good
shape, I mean the meth.
I snorted it, so I got on myteeth still and it didn't do any
permanent damage.
I'm just incredibly fortunate.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
That's great.
Do you want to talk about yourprogram Seeing in Color?
Again A little bit more aboutthat.

Speaker 3 (30:07):
Yeah, basically I just I use a very short
PowerPoint, but it's not aPowerPoint like a lot of people
use.
It's just some illustrations ofwhat PTSD looks like through
some artists and I show somebefore and after pictures of
what I looked like and thedarkness in my eyes compared to
the color in my eyes, and I domy presentation.

(30:29):
I'll do it in front of almostanybody.
I've had really good resultswith schools, with high schools.
I want to go upstream.
I want to prevent this.
I want them to understand whatdepression, anxiety, ptsd,
addiction, and if there's a wayout and it's okay to reach out
and talk to somebody.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
Hi, this is Phil podcast producer for the
Hometown Hero Outdoors podcast.
I know your time is valuableand we thank you for listening
to our podcast.
Can I ask you a favor?
On whatever podcast platformyou are listening to us on right
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It is very helpful when growingour podcast and expanding the

(31:11):
message of HHO.
Thank you.
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Speaker 2 (32:52):
I want to talk about being a mental health
practitioner.
Have you received formaleducation?

Speaker 3 (32:58):
on that.
It's interesting because Iworked in mental health crisis
stabilization for four and ahalf years.
I have not went to school formental health or psychiatry or
psychology or whatever.
I haven't done any schoolingfor it.
I got it through experiencethrough the hours.
I haven't done any schoolingfor it.
I got it through experiencethrough the hours.
I had 4,000 hours working withpeople in crisis and that's not
all first responders, by nomeans.

(33:20):
That was just the generalpublic.
They're suicidal or whatever,and we'd help them get back on
their feet and get it back tothe workforce, get housing, get
their appointments all set upand their medications and get
them back out into the society.
And yeah, I kind of fell intothat.

(33:40):
I was asked to work for themand it was a really good fit.
I learned a lot about themental health side of it.
I learned a lot of times theirhands are tied and that's kind
of why I got out of it.
I answered crisis lines and thatwas the toughest thing to do is
have to follow the policiesthat they have in place for
their liabilities.

(34:00):
If I have somebody that'ssuicidal, I go with my heart, I
go with my experience, I go withwhat's the track record of
working and you know I don'thave this license sitting over
my head.
You could say I get to go aboveand beyond.
If somebody wants to go have abeer with me in the evening and

(34:20):
talk about things, I'll go havea beer with them.
I'll meet with them after hoursduring the day, go for coffee,
go for a drive in a car, meetthem out in the middle of
nowhere.
I'll go that extra mile forthem.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
Where your license holders can't.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
Yeah, so I was working under somebody else's
license, so I didn't.
I couldn't put that at risk, soI always had that.
You know I was, I was worriedabout that.
You know like I have to followthese rules and yeah, it was
difficult for me.
Plus, I was speaking so muchthat it was hard to hold down
the job, so I decided to gofull-time speaking.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
And you travel all over for that.
Where are the different placesyour speaking has taken you?

Speaker 3 (35:03):
All over the US East Coast, west Coast, texas,
florida I speak at somethingcalled the First Responder
Bridge Retreat.
I speak at something called theFirst Responder Bridge Retreat.
It's for first responders thatare having difficulties with
their marriage or maybediagnosed with PTSD maybe not
diagnosed with PTSD yet, buthaving issues with mental health

(35:26):
or addiction, suicidal thoughtsand it's a free retreat.
It's down in Columbus, ohio.
All you have to do is pay foryour transportation to get there
and they put you up in abeautiful hotel and they got
some really top notch speakersand information for both them
and their significant others.
They're both invited.

(35:46):
They everything's paid for.
The meals are paid for.
Once you're there, everything'scovered.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
That's cool, that's pretty incredible.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
That's four times a year they do it.
I wish other states would pickup on it and duplicate it, but
they've.
They've been doing this so longthat they have the sponsors
that it would.
It takes a long time to getthat built up to be able to do
something like that, but it'sit's.
It's changed so many lives.
I don't know how many peoplehave, uh, have just walked up to
me and said they're ready totake their life and if it wasn't

(36:13):
for that retreat they wouldhave been gone and the marriages
that were saved, they, theyshow up, the couples show up and
sometimes they're in separaterooms and they get down to the,
to the event and the speakersstart and there's like a wall
between the couple and I'm oneof their opening speakers and

(36:34):
it's amazing, when I'm up onstage, that sometimes a
significant other will look atthe first responder and you just
see it.
It's like why haven't you beentalking about this stuff?
Why don't you share this withme?
And by the end of the first daythey're holding hands and it's
just repairing things andhelping them communicate.

Speaker 2 (36:51):
That's fantastic.
You know, I went through atraining called Breach Point
retired police chief out ofMichigan, and that's a training
that's very well integrated withsomething similar to what you
spoke about with spouses, youknow, and kind of eye opening as
to, you know, maybe some of thesigns they've seen or things
that they haven't heard and why.

(37:13):
You know, I think that thoseare very influential in people's
careers and mental health,especially with, like you said,
saving careers and relationshipsand lives.
You know, it's all veryimportant, it's not just one
facet, it's all of them.
With HHO, you know.
Essentially, you know, beingable to get people an outlet to

(37:33):
go and do stuff with like-mindedpeople and or family on our
trips, that helps with thosesituations as well.
On a smaller scale, you know, Ithink when you can directly
attach or address the issues,like you just talked about for
your retreat, those are very,very uh influential and helping
with healing and understanding.

(37:53):
I think that's the big piece isunderstanding why someone may
be a certain I shouldn't say acertain way, but what that kind
of helps them understand whatthey've seen and observed.
And I think that sounds like avery fantastic retreat and
hopefully it's a resource tothose who may be listening and
that sounds like a veryfantastic retreat and hopefully

(38:13):
it's a resource to those who maybe listening and we can share
that on our social media stuffto point people in a direction
if they're looking like theywant to try something like that.
I think that's a very, verycool thing that's happening and
that you're doing.
Yeah, it's.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
It's not my event, I'm just part of it.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
I'm just yeah, no totally yeah, no, and I mean,
even if a small piece, you knowit all makes a difference.
You're there for a reason,right?
Um?

Speaker 3 (38:36):
there was no way.
I I was, I was the, I was thebad side of it, you know, and I
can't take all the credit forthat.
But, um, my relationship issue.
I had a lot of relationshipissues.

(39:02):
I just couldn't love anybodyand it was because of the stuff
that happened in my life and andthe things I saw.
I just couldn't get close toanybody because all I could
focus on was the death.
And once I got my therapy done,it opened up my eyes.
I mean, I was single but I wasout having fun and I was 100%,
totally happy being single andbeing alone and I was happy with

(39:22):
myself.
And then I met a gal and I tellyou what the relationship we
have now and the communicationand she calls me out on my BS.
I mean she'll, if I startacting out, it's like hey, scott
, time to make a phone call.
I've got safety plans, I've gota crisis plans, I've got
support systems, and it's notjust her, but you know she calls

(39:46):
me out on it and say, hey, Ithink we need to date night, we
need to go talk, we you knowwhat's going on and she'll sit
me down and I mean no guy likesto be sat down and have a
conversation Right.

Speaker 2 (39:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:57):
But you know what?
I accept it and it's like, yeah, you're right, I can't let you.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
I got to let you in.
I can't.
You spoke about, I think isthat's cool that you can
recognize that and have thatthere.
You know, I think you knowwhere you've been and where
you've gone and what to do toprevent that in the future.
I recently met a gentleman whohas an entire family that has
suffered from addiction and hehad a suicide attempt himself,
with narcotics as well, and he'srecognized that and he's

(40:34):
changed it.
One of the things is that hesaid that I'm wired a certain
way and I need to recognize thatand what do I do to adapt that?
You know so when you talk abouthaving a safety plan or a
crisis plan, he had somethingsimilar and his issue that he
communicated was idle time.
When he had idle time, thingsgot difficult.
So he showed us his cell phoneand he had probably had about 30

(40:57):
alarms set in his cell phonewhere he had set apart specific
times of the day, all day, everyday, with alarms to be engaged
in a certain activity to keephis mind wired on what was at
hand, versus having that idletime.
I know for some that probably isa very difficult thing, you
know, having that many alarms gooff, but some people recognize

(41:18):
that they need to have that planin place in order to not go
back to a place where they were,and I thought that was pretty
interesting, you know.
I think he figured out whatworked for him, you know, and
he's a very successfulindividual now and like your
plans.
I think that it's very criticalfor people to recognize what
are the things that may triggergoing backwards or being in a

(41:41):
place where they need assistanceagain, and I think that's
awesome.

Speaker 3 (41:48):
And my safety plans have phone numbers on them
contacts and my safety planshave phone numbers on them
contacts and the agreement Imake with the people that I call
is I tell them I want you on mysafety plan.
Will you be able to answer thephone call?
I've got three people, but youknow, if you can't answer it,
can you get back to me as soonas possible?
And they agree to that.
And I say this is how this isgoing to work, though, because I
know from experience and fromtalking to other people that,

(42:10):
because I know from experienceand from talking to other people
, that little green button onyour phone is really difficult
to call somebody when you'rehurting because you think you're
bothering them.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
Right.

Speaker 3 (42:17):
And you don't want to be that person bothering them.
So I make the agreement withthem that if they want to be on
my safety plan, I'm on theirsafety plan.
So if they are ever hurting, Iwant them to call me.
Because I put that on them,because it's like, how would you
like it if I don't call youwhen I'm hurting?
And they said, well, no, youbetter call me.
It's like, exactly that goesback towards you too.
I don't want to hear that youwere having a bad day and you

(42:39):
didn't make a 10 minute phonecall to me and we could have
made things better.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
So I kind of it's a two two way street.

(43:06):
Yeah, it's makes sense.
I mean, I think it gives alittle bit of ownership on both
people, you know, and but alsosupport, you know, and I think
that ownership with that is thesupport and that's fantastic.
Is there anything else you wantto talk about?
The safety plan?
You know people might belistening that want to know more
about a safety plan.
Is and what that looks likeactually supposed to do another
podcast with a state agency froma different state.
They wanted me to talk aboutgun safety, gun security, safe
storage.
We agreed not to do it becauseI didn't share their views.

(43:28):
I do believe in being able tohave protection.
I don't have kids in the house,but they did ask some pretty
good questions about you knowwhat could have been done
different to when you used aweapon.
And it's like, well, if I wentto have a weapon, I would have
probably found a different way,because when you're suicidal,
you're suicidal.
However, I talk to people nowand it's like, if you're going

(43:51):
to have a gun in the house, andyou're going to have a gun in
the house and you're going to beusing it or wherever, and if
you're suicidal, you know whatyou're going to do.
You know what gun you're goingto use most likely.
So here's what I want people todo is put a little safety net.
Get a letter, get somethingfrom your significant other,
from yourself even, or a pictureof your kids.
I want them to lay it on top ofthat gun.

(44:11):
You don't want the gun exposedanyway, so put a picture of your
kids on, put a buffer.
So if you're reaching for thatgun when you're in a really bad
mode, in a really bad place, andyou have a piece of paper on
there saying we need you, welove you, and that might be just
enough to slow you down and getyour brain thinking a little
bit, or a picture of your kids,just something to slow you down.

(44:31):
It's not going to hurt becauseI tell you what somebody's in
your house, that little piece ofpaper is not going to get in
the way.
If you need to defend yourself,true, but you know, if you're
going to have the guns around,that's my, you know.
A little safety thing, I guessyou know, to slow you down in an
event of a suicide, just tokind of break your mindset.

(44:52):
And hey, you know God, you'regoing to hurt them.
You know you're not.
It's not just about you.
It's going to hurt peoplearound you and you are needed in
this world Absolutely.
And I mean if I can go fromwhere I was I mean stuck in a
meth addiction like that.
I mean where I had to carrythree, 22 shells around with me
full of meth because I couldn'tgo an hour without meth and if I

(45:22):
could break that cycle andbreak the suicidal thoughts and
the PTSD and come out, you know,being able to help other people
no-transcript.

Speaker 2 (45:40):
That's important.

Speaker 1 (45:41):
This is your financial cop money minute.

Speaker 4 (45:45):
Let me ask you this If I gave you a hundred dollars,
which would you rather have,$20 back or $80 back, 80 back?
So if you take a hundreddollars in interest and you
write that off your taxes, whatyou're saying is I'd rather give
the bank 80 bucks so that Idon't have to give the federal
government 20 in the right.
I'd rather have the $20 go tothe federal government and keep

(46:06):
$80 myself.
So the whole tax write offequation of this just doesn't
compute.
When you dig into the math it'skind of like you'll hear
financial advisors say don't payyour house off, invest in the
market, because your mortgage is3% but you can get 10 in the
market.
Well, that's a play onmarketing words.
If I do the math with theinterest rates, that works.

(46:28):
If I change the equation to thedollar amount, it doesn't
anymore.
Unless you have $300,000 to putin the market.
Because if you make an extraprincipal payment on your house
and that saves you $800 ininterest on the back end of your
loan, but that $1,000 goes inthe market and it makes 10% this
year, what did it make?
It made a hundred bucks.

(46:49):
So same kind of equation.
It's just again.
This is why I studied themarketing aspect just as much as
I did the millionaires, becauseit's just a play on the numbers
to make it look good in thatperspective versus another
perspective.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
This is your financial cop money minute.

Speaker 2 (47:06):
So what are your future plans look like?
Where are you going from here?
What?
What is the big plans of Scottwith sharing your story and
moving forward?

Speaker 3 (47:15):
I'm looking at starting some new trainings,
some suicide preventionawareness trainings, and it's
going to be through not theevidence-based stuff that's out
there, but it's going to be theexperience-based what's worked
for me, because I've seen somuch of this evidence-based
stuff that I'm not sure wherethey get their information from.

(47:36):
But it's way out there andthey're not going upstream far
enough.
I want to go upstream and Iwant to prevent suicides.
I want people to understandthat it's okay to reach out for
help, it's okay to reach out tosomebody else and talk with them
and ask them if they'rethinking about suicide, and I

(47:56):
just want to make sure thatpeople that have had a suicidal
experience some of them can beokay sharing their experience to
help others?

Speaker 2 (48:01):
How do people get a hold of you if they want to
learn more or talk to you?

Speaker 3 (48:09):
My website is seenincoloragaincom.
That's S-E-E-I-N-G in coloragain, and if you just Google my
name you'll find a whole bunchof stuff.
My phone number's out there,email's out there, website and
the website has the differenttrainings and all that on there.
No, it's just got contactinformation and some of the
things I've been doing.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
Okay, and then that's where they can contact you too,
if they want to have you comeout and speak.

Speaker 3 (48:31):
Yeah, right now I'm just basically doing my speaking
engagement, just sharing aone-hour journey, a very short,
short PowerPoint, whichbasically is more about things
that have worked.
It's not like a PowerPoint,like a lot of people come in and
share these stuff you can findon the Internet.
Share these stuff you can findon the internet.

(48:51):
This is a fun, uplifting,informative presentation.
I guess I've had people saythat they don't listen to the
kids when they go into theschools, that they don't keep
their attention for more than 10minutes.
I keep their attention for anhour.
They like it when firefighterscome in and I share my story and
I don't hold anything back.

(49:12):
They like it when firefighterscome in and I share my story and
I don't hold anything back.
Our kids have more experiencein life than we ever did at
least me when I was back inschool.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
Yeah, times have changed.

Speaker 3 (49:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
That's for sure.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
And it's amazing how at one event at the school one
of my first ones at school astudent walked up to me and
asked me a lot of personalquestions about my life and and
later that day I found his dadcalled me and he was a
firefighter.
And he said his son came homeand asked him if he was suicidal
.
He had plans and he was oneweek away from killing himself.

(49:47):
His son saved his life.
So I mean, and he's?
And his dad said, man, it justrocked his world.
He said when my son asked me ifI was suicidal and I keep in
contact with him a little bitand he said that was the turning
point in his life.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
Wow, that's incredible.
Well, sharing your story, youknow that helps everything and I
was going to ask you too, likewhat has done for you.
You know in your healing whateverything.
And I was going to ask you too,like what what has done for you
.

Speaker 3 (50:15):
You know, in your healing, what kind of journey
has that brought you on?
Um, it's, it's been amazing.
I faith is another big part ofmy journey.
Um, I did the therapy but Ialso.
I also had to have my faithback and and as much as I was
blaming everything on on God,you know it all kind of looking
back, it's like it's a journey Ihad to go through to.
You know, get the experience, ifyou want to call it that um, I

(50:39):
had to get drugged through themud to be able to do what I'm
doing now.
Like I can't judge anybodybecause, man, I've done some
stupid things in my life.
But but you know it's, there'salso this side where it's the
ptsd.
It's not you, it's, it's a,it's something that takes over
you and it makes you do somereally bad things.
I wish I could take back thethings I've done to my kids and
the words I've said.

(50:59):
I've never physically abusedthem, but the verbal abuse was
horrible and I wish I could takethose words back.
But my kids are prettyresilient and we talk a lot now
and at one time they wouldn'ttalk to me for a couple of years
.
But set up some boundaries, yep,the relationships built back up
and they see the change.
And my son, after my suicideattempt, um, right before

(51:23):
christmas that same year, I wasin fargo christmas shopping and
I looked at my son and he was 13and I said, man, I'm really
glad that gun didn't go off.
And and he said, dad, the gundid go off, it killed the bad
dad.
And that's when I knew my angerwas under control.
He said that that monster isgone.
And it was just, you know be,it was just that Jekyll and Hyde

(51:45):
I mean that, two differentpeople and you can kick ass on
that, that monster, and that's.
That's a very powerful feelingand I can control my anger.
And people try to get me angry.
There's still people you knowthat that don't like me from my
past that try to trigger me andtry to bring that demon out,
that monster out, and I, it'sweird, I just laugh at them.
It's I mean, I don't mean tolaugh in their face, but I, I

(52:07):
it's like you're not gonna dothis to me, right, and it just
it really turns, turns them intosomebody that I don't want to
see them turn into either.
But they're not going to,they're not going to own my
anger.
I can have control of that now.

Speaker 2 (52:19):
Well, that's a pretty , that's a very deep and
thoughtful statement from yourson Wow, yeah, that's, but also
very eyeopening, you know, andand also a little bit of
self-reflecting in there as well.
When it comes down to, you knowthat, jacqueline Hyde, you know
that something changed at thatmoment and I'm glad it did.

(52:40):
You know it sounds like, uh,you know, people have their own
way of thinking about the pastand know people can change and
people can move forward and, uh,some can't, and sometimes it's
the other person you know thathas that judgment.
And you know we get, we're allhuman and we have to do better
about being compassionate, and,uh, life experiences are here

(53:04):
for a reason, you know, andcan't change the past, but you
can do better in the future, andI think that's the biggest
message.
But no, it's a very incrediblestory.
So, finally, what message wouldyou like to give to our
listeners, particularly thosewho may be going through some
struggles?
What is your message to them?
To speak?

Speaker 3 (53:22):
to them.
I think you touched on it.
Don't let the past own you.
Tomorrow's a new day.
I did a lot of bad things in mypast.
I'm still not sure if I've 100%forgiven myself for it all, but
I've moved forward and I'musing that to be a better person
and to help other people.

(53:42):
And you know, instead oflooking back at all the bad
things I've done in my life, I'mlooking over the last 10 years
and how incredible those 10years have been.
And those 10 years I never,ever, thought I would have.
And it all became available tome because I reached out to help
get help.
You know, reaching out for helpwas the biggest thing I ever
did in my life and it it wasdifficult.

(54:04):
But the other side of the coinwas it wasn't easy.
Hiding my life I had before andsneaking around the math and
and the nightmares and theflashbacks.
That was hell.
So once I started movingforward and getting the taste of
a good life, oh my gosh, I waslike a kid in a candy store.

Speaker 2 (54:21):
So there's hope?
Oh yeah, that's the big message, is there's hope out there.
You know, just got to find it.

Speaker 3 (54:27):
And I'm not the only one.
I mean I hear this stuff allthe time.
I mean I hear this stuff allthe time.
I mean people that have escapedthe darkness and the depths
that they were in and they sharewith how bad they had it and
it's like wow, you know it isdifferent stories, you know it
might have been abuse orsomething like that, and it's
like, man, you've been through alot and they realize how strong

(54:48):
they are by getting over thatand overcoming the PTSD and the
trauma.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
Yeah, and you know when the PTSD ever goes away.
It's just how you handle it.
It changes.

Speaker 3 (55:00):
Yeah, and if they talk you know I like how they
call it PTSD it's an injury.
You know it's not something youwent and did, you purposely did
.
It's something that happened toyou.
And when I was going throughtherapy I think that's something
that I realized that this wasan injury to my brain.
It was an infection, and untilI took control of that and just

(55:22):
like, if I had a cut on my armand it got infected, I'd go get
some antibiotics, Right, Well,my brain had an infection.
Something was not right with it, so I went and got some help
and therapy was the antibiotics.

Speaker 2 (55:33):
No, it's a very good way of putting it.
I haven't thought of it thatway before, so that's good
perspective.
I haven't heard of PTSI before,so that's something that I like
.
That too.
Thanks for sharing that.

Speaker 3 (55:44):
Yeah, there's PTSI, and then there's something else
called moral injury that'scoming about and that's going to
really start to get theheadlines too.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
So moral injury.

Speaker 3 (55:55):
Yeah, that's hopefully going to get put in
the D, the MSI, or yeah, yeah,the book, the fancy book that
the professionals have Right,and yeah, cause there's a lot
coming about.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
about that too, oh, that's good.
Well, I'm glad that society isprogressing and things are being
talked about and changed andadapted.
You know, and you know in ourcareer fields me being law
enforcement, you being fire, youknow and helping others and
changing some of the thoughtpatterns regarding the stigma

(56:34):
surrounding our own mentalhealth and reaching out for help
.
I think that this is some ofthe steps and you've been on
that journey for a while and Iappreciate that.
But sharing your story has beenfantastic and can you just
remind everyone how to find you?
I know you said Google yourname, but what was your website?
One more time.

Speaker 3 (56:52):
Seen in color again S-E-I-N-G in color again.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
Cool.
Any final comments before weconclude the podcast?

Speaker 3 (57:03):
No, that went great, I think.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
Yeah, absolutely no, it's appreciate you sharing your
story and being here.
You know, unfortunately toomany suicides are successful,
you know, and you being here,being able to share how it was
not changed your life and youare able to thrive and share
that journey with others, Ithink it's very awesome and

(57:28):
being able to go to events likeours at the barbecue, bootcamp
and other events around thecountry and make an impact, and
I've I've felt that sharing mystory with others has helped
others too.
Um, and we're all not perfectand I think that there is help
out there, a lot of help, andyou just got to find the right
people and if they're not theright person, find someone.

(57:49):
That is, um, but thank you verymuch for coming on and being
here and I hope the listenersenjoyed today.
One thing I'd like to end withyou know is 988 is the suicide
prevention and crisis line thatyou can either call or text and,
if you need time of needotherwise, feel free to reach
out to Scott if you have theavailability to do so, or reach

(58:13):
out to Hometown Hero Outdoors.
We do train our volunteers inassist training, which is
applied suicide interventionskills training, which is a form
of crisis intervention thatdoes help other individuals in a
time of need or crisis, and wedo help implement those safe
plans with people.
We are not the mental healthprofessionals and we will help
you find those if needed.
We do have some people that wepartner with who can find you

(58:35):
additional guidance, but Scottis a good resource here that has
been down that road and cangive you uplifting information
and insight to his journey inorder to be in a better place.
So, thank you, scott, Iappreciate you once again and
let's stay in contact and we'llwe'll put up the website with

(58:55):
the podcast and on our socialmedia and just so people can
reach out if they need to speakwith you.
Thank you.
Thanks, scott, you have a greatday.
And all the listeners ofHometown Hero Outdoors podcast.
Thank you for tuning in.
We will see you in a couple ofweeks.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
The Hometown Hero Outdoors podcast is sponsored by
O'Neill Electric, the MinnesotaPolice and Peace Officers
Association and RelentlessDefender Apparel.
Thank you for listening to theHometown Hero Outdoors podcast.
For more information, visit ourwebsite at
hometownherooutdoorsorg.