Limitless Courage: Matias Ferreira's Journey of Resilience

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
In the land of 10,000 lakes, a remarkable movement
was born.
Welcome to Hometown HeroOutdoors.
We are dedicated to honoringour military service members,
veterans and first responders byproviding them with
unforgettable outdoorrecreational opportunities.
We believe those who haveserved and sacrificed so much

(00:24):
for our country and communitiesdeserve a chance to reclaim
their spirit and find healing inthe great outdoors.
This is Hometown Hero Outdoors.
Welcome to the Hometown HeroOutdoors Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Here is your host, chris Tatro.
Hello everyone, welcome back tothe Hometown Hero Outdoors
podcast here with Matias Herrera.
I am excited to have him today.
Him and I have had a lot ofback and forth regarding getting
him on the podcast and I'mhonored to have you here today,

(01:14):
and I'm just going to giveeveryone a little rundown of
your background here.
So Matias, an immigrant fromMontevideo, uruguay, moved to
Atlanta, georgia, with his mom,dad and two brothers in 1996 in
pursuit of the American dream.
In 9-11, 2001, matias wassitting in 7th grade science
class as he watched the TwinTowers collapse on TV, not
realizing that his goal tobecome a United States Marine

(01:37):
was going to become a reality alot sooner than he thought.
Upon graduating from MorrowSenior High School in 2007,
matias joined the United StatesMarine Corps as a machine gunner
assigned to the 1st Battalion8th Marines 2nd Marine Division,
stationed at Camp Lejeune,north Carolina.
During a combat tour, anoperation enduring freedom, to
the Helmet Province, afghanistanin 2010, matias stepped on an

(02:00):
IED, an improvised explosivedevice, causing him to lose both
of his legs below the knees,amongst other injuries.
Matias has been awarded thePurple Heart Combat Action
Ribbon, a Navy Unit Citation,amongst other military awards
During a year and a half ofrehabilitation at Walter Reed
Army Medical Center, matiascompleted in numerous races to

(02:24):
include the Navy 5-Miler Army,10-miler Marine Corps Marathon,
detroit Marathon, new York CityMarathon, disney Marathon,
several others.
Man Matias is also part of theWounded Warrior Amputee Softball
Team that competes all yeararound against the military,
first responders and celebrityteams, spreading the message
that with life without limbs islimitless.

(02:44):
Matthias enjoys volunteeringwith numerous non-profits
organizations that focus onrehabilitation, empowering new
normals and renewing your faith.
Most of these non-profitorganizations are involved with
adaptive sports, militaryveterans, children and physical
disabilities and law enforcementofficers.
Matthias ferreira is currentlyan active police officer with

(03:06):
the Suffolk.
Did I say that right?

Speaker 3 (03:08):
Yeah, Suffolk.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
Suffolk County Police Department in Suffolk.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Yeah, suffolk New York, suffolk County New York.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
There you go, making the first double amputee
patrolman in the country.
That's amazing.
Matias worked in the firstprecinct town of Babylon on day
tours and midnight tours onpatrol for several years and he
was asked to transfer to thecommunity relations bureau to
assist in bettering therelationship between communities
and the police.
After spending some time inthat unit, matias transferred to

(03:38):
the police academy recruittraining section and as an
instructor, instructing drilland ceremonies and teaching
numerous topics.
Thank you, sir.
Thanks for being here.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
No thanks for having me, man.
I love that video you got goingon.
It got me all motivated.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
Yeah, we got a good production crew that's done some
pretty good stuff and actuallythe editor of our podcast, our
production guy Phil, he does thevoiceover for that.
But more about you.
So Marine Corps, marine corps,now, you know, with an amputee
being a police officer andyou're very involved in the
community and you're a familyman at that.
So I appreciate you being onthe podcast, taking time to be

(04:14):
here and telling your story Iappreciate you having me.

Speaker 3 (04:17):
Man, without the uh, without the platform, you know
you can't get the stories across.
So, uh, I'm glad you're doingthis it's great.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
And so you, straight from the get go.
In your bio you said that youmigrated here or an immigrant,
and you came from Uruguay.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
Yeah, yeah, my family , my family was all born there.
You know, my mom, my dad, mytwo brothers and my mom's
brother lived in the UnitedStates Atlanta, georgia and they
used to visit back and forth togo see her parents.
You know her brother and andtheir family and and just about
the years they were like, whydon't you guys move here to
pursue the American dream?

(04:52):
Now, mind you, this is beforeyou know 9-11.
So it was very easy to get, youknow, a student visa, to get a
working visa and whatnot.
So we did, we picked upeverything and just moved to the
United States.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Do you remember that experience?
Quite a bit then.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yeah, you know, I was pretty young, I was like seven,
eight years old and I rememberjust getting on a plane for the
first time and you'd neverexperienced that.
It's not like here, where youpick up your kids and you go to
Disney for the week or travelwhatever.
For us this was like wow, we'regetting on a, a plane which I
don't think I've even seen aplane for the first time until I
got on one.
Um, and I just remember beingso excited when the when the

(05:32):
plane took off.
You know, when you go back intoyour seat it's a ride um, so
everything was brand new.
You know, we didn't have much,uh, growing up.
So moving to the united statesand having that opportunity to
have our own bedroom and haveour own clothes and have to
share everything was justincredible.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
Oh, that's cool.
No, that's a.
That's a big move, especially abig decision for parents with
young children.
That's a.
I'm sure having some familyhere probably helped that
decision though, but even evenfor your relatives that were
here too, I mean, that's a bigdecision for them to make.
Were they the first that hadmoved to the country then?

Speaker 3 (06:02):
Yeah, yeah, you know, my uncle had been living here
since he was a teenager and somy mom used to come up and visit
my dad and they saw thelifestyle here.
It was like, wow, you know,you're able to walk in the
street, go to school, work andnot have to worry about violence
, not have to worry aboutgetting mugged or, you know,
your house burglarized or robbedon the street.
You know, and the kids, a lotof the, you know, the youth,

(06:24):
unfortunately end up going intodrugs and gangs and whatever
else, and of course we have thathere.
But when it's such a smallercountry and such a smaller
amount of people, you know, it'slike, I don't know, it's like
one to three million people inUruguay, I mean.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
I live on Long.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
Island.
There's like five millionpeople on Long Island just by
themselves.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
So it's a very different perspective.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
People on Long Island just by themselves, so it's a
very different perspective.
But, yeah, I mean my parents tomake that decision, to give us
a better life and give us theopportunity to live.
The way we live now is justsomething that you know.
I look back and I thank themevery day for.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
No, that's an amazing story and you know you don't
hear that story as much as you.
I mean, there are still a lotof immigrants and immigration
that does occur here, you know,and but you just it's not as
frequent where you get to meet afamily that you know kind of
started their life off here inthe most recent decades anyway.
Well, that's pretty exciting.
And then so you got into theschool system.
How was that transition like?

(07:16):
What did that feel like?
Was that just kind of a mindblowing thing?

Speaker 3 (07:21):
they say that it's it's easier to learn when you're
younger.
So I think that, looking backnow, I remember going into, like
, I know I think the classes arecalled something different now,
but it used to be esol.
You know, and used to sit inthis class.
They teach you how to write, toread, to speak english and, um,
you know, we're going to schooland and pretty much learning
how to do all these things, andin the midst of all this, we're

(07:42):
also getting involved in sports,uh, getting involved in other
activities.
So obviously the languagebarrier is a little easier to
get past.
And then, before you know it,it's just a lifestyle.
You know, just typical kidsgoing to school, you know,
playing sports, coming home,doing homework and before you
know, you're 35 years old, yourown kids no, and it goes so fast

(08:02):
and the kids grow up too.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
So the next thing you know you'll be a grandfather
and I'm probably not that well,hopefully a little further away
from that.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
But yeah, yeah, my daughter's already 10 years old.
So I I look at some people youknow having children in their
late teens or early 20s and I'mlike, oh my god, that's right
around the corner.
So I don't think of that no,it's.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
That's mean I absolutely love my kids and I'll
look forward to beinggrandparents someday, but, dang,
it's going to come too fast.
That's the only thing.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
That's all right.
It's part of life.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
It is.
It is so now we're going to goforward to the 9-11.
I mean, obviously, that was ahuge and tragic moment in the
United States.
You know, and you obviouslyexperienced that and it did
something you know to your coreas well.
You know where were you livingat the time when that happened.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
So I was living in Atlanta, georgia, you know, I
was like seventh, eighth gradeand it's funny because now I
live in New York.
So it's a different perspective.
When I speak to all my friends,my colleagues and now some of
the recruits that go through theprogram, they don't, they
weren't even alive.
So that's kind of mind blowingin itself.
I wanted to be in the militaryever since I was a little kid.
So for me, you know, I knowit's not the same anymore.

(09:16):
But growing up, you know, kidswanted to be cops, lawyers,
firemen, fighter jet pilots, youknow stuff like that.
And now obviously people wantto do different things.
But, um, I just had like areally cool experience when I
was younger with a military uhman in uniform during the
olympics in 96 and I justcouldn't get that gentleman out
of my head.
You know he's wearing his dressblues, he's all decked out in
medals and I was like I'm gonnabe that one day.

(09:37):
And after 9-11 it just seemedright that, um, I kind of knew I
wanted to go in the military.
And what better reason to gothan for fight for our freedom?
And a lot of people,unfortunately, we take that, I
take it for granted at times,you know you travel the world,
even when it's to the mostbeautiful places in the world,
and you realize like, wow, wereally have it good here.
You know, my wife and I justcame back from Greece.

(09:57):
One of my friends got marriedthere and it was beautiful.
But when we went into Athens,we went to Athens, mykonos and
Santorini.
The lifestyle is just different.
It's a lot slower-paced.
Just something that I rememberlaughing at myself was you have
to wipe your bum and then youput the toilet paper in a little
baggie and throw it in thetrash.
Oh wow, rather than throw it inthe toilet.

(10:18):
It's just little things likethat that you're like what you
got to put the what and where,like what you got to put the wet
and wear, and uh, and it justmakes you realize, like, how
blessed we are to have, uh, goodplumbing and water and you know
lifestyle, I think, necessities, like even water bottles.
You know it's like you, youcan't get water like you do here
.
You go into a hotel and youhave two in the fridge and
whatever else there you have togo looking for these things.

(10:40):
So, um, it just seemed like itwas appropriate.
You know, to go fight in a warwhere I thought it was going to
make a difference.
You know, in our country's life.
What year did you enlist?
Then I went in 2008 when I didall of the MEP stuff and I
processed to go to bootcamp in2009.
And that was Camp Lejeune.
Camp Lejeune, north Carolina.
I went through, uh, parisIsland for boot camp and then I

(11:03):
was stationed in Lejeune.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
Okay, cool, yeah.
And then how did you come aboutpicking your military career?
Like what exactly?
I mean, you wanted to end upgoing into the infantry right
away, is that?

Speaker 3 (11:13):
what it was.
So the funny thing is I talkedto all my Marines all the time
and we all laugh about how ourASVAB score was so low.
You know, and for the peoplethat don't know what an ASVAB is
, it's just an exam that prepsyou to go into the military and
based on what you score is kindof the opportunities you have
for the workforce, right.
So if you have like a ninety,nine or one hundred, you can be
pretty much anything you want tobe in, any branch of the

(11:36):
services.
If you have, I think 30 ispassing.
I think I scored like a thirtytwo, you know not me too man.
Yeah, it's like, all right,great, you know, I'm going
infantry.
So lucky for me.
That's kind of what I wanted todo from the get go.
But when you sign up, typicallythey tell you all the jobs you
can do and I said, hey, I wantto go 0300, which in the Marine
Corps is infantry.

(11:56):
And then once you graduate bootcamp they send you to SOI, you
know, school infantry and thenyou kind of go off your
different branches of machinegunner, mortar men, assault men
or basic riflemen and, um, Iguess at the time there was a
lot of openings for machinegunner and I was a buck 60 and I
was 160 pounds, uh, six footone.
They were like you machinegunner.

(12:17):
I was like, oh my god, how am Isupposed to carry this thing?
I mean the whole machine gun.
My deuce, you know, m250 Cal iswith a 30 to 45 pound tripod by
itself.
Then the receiver is likeanother 35 pounds and you got
the barrel, which is likewhatever, 20.
And I might be exaggeratingthis number.
Has been a long time since I'vecarried it, but altogether
you're looking at carrying a 75pound system when you break it

(12:38):
down and you have to move fromone place to another when you
don't have vehicles, because Iwas in a line platoon, which
means that we were carrying allof our equipment with us.
You know we didn't have thetrucks to mount any of this
stuff, and not to mention theammo, you know.
So now you're carrying allthese systems and I'm like dude,
I'm a buck 60, like six one,what am I?
Where's the 200 plus peoplethat can carry this stuff?
And you know, not many peoplein the military that are big

(13:00):
boys like we are now, you know.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
Right, yeah, and I feel you on the ASVAB.
I was a tanker, so my, my, myscore was like, yeah, you can
drive a tank and I was like Ididn't have to carry around all
that stuff, though I got todrive it.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
There you go.
That's a blessing in disguise,right there.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
You know now, everyone, everyone has a very
key role in what they do.

Speaker 3 (13:23):
Absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
So then you ended up going through that.
At that point in time, were youstill living in the Georgia
area?

Speaker 3 (13:32):
I was.
I was active duty, so I wasstationed in Lejeune and I was
living in North Carolina andJacksonville and after getting
there, maybe like three monthslater, the guys that were
serving in my unit in one eight8they were in I believe it was
ramadi iraq and they were.
We missed that deployment fight, I don't know a couple weeks.
So by the time they came backwe'd already gotten kind of
comfortable.

(13:52):
We're like not really doingmuch, you know, maybe cleaning
around the barracks and no realmissions, classroom stuff,
whatever.
And when these guys get backthey're a little salty and
they're like where are my bootsat?
Where are my boots?
You know they got you doing allthe stuff, um, but you know we
were told as soon as they gotback, guys, you got like nine
months and then you're gonna bedeploying afghanistan.
So we were like nine months,how the hell am I gonna learn

(14:13):
how to do my job in nine monthsto get deployed into a combat
war zone as a you know, punk ass, 19 year old?

Speaker 2 (14:19):
you know right, yeah, you get thrown right into it
right away.
Oh yeah, that's crazy.
So then you did your deployment, and then you ended up going to
Afghanistan.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
Yeah, I mean, I'm in Afghanistan and it's crazy
because I tell my friends I'mlike man when, when I 11
happened, we were in high schoolyou know, middle school going
to high school and we werewishing we could be there to
fight the bad guys and fight theTaliban and ISIS and this and
that.
And when I got to Afghanistanit was September of 2010.
So I remember it was likeSeptember 4th and then all of a

(14:48):
sudden, a couple of days passedby and we're looking at each
other.
I'm like it's 9-11.
Dude, like not even 10 yearsago we had talked about being
here and here we are, likewalking.
It was such a surreal feeling,you know, to be in Afghanistan,
just not that much time later.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
Wow, yeah, that's kind of surreal, that's for sure
, you know.
I think that that, well,obviously there's a very
significant time in the historyof the United States, but also
for a lot of our journey, as thepeople who did join.
You know and I just got theopportunity to go to the where
the plane crashed inPennsylvaniasylvania and flight

(15:26):
97, you know and um, being ableto look at some of that stuff
and uh, and be able to stand upthe memories of the individuals
who did give their lives on thethings that happened in 9-11 and
really looking back at ourlives when, when 9-11 did happen
, and seeing where we did andwhat we sacrificed and what they
sacrificed, really brings afull circle, you know, and I

(15:48):
imagine you being in new yorknow and being able to go to the
9-11 memorial was pretty, prettymoving for you yeah, I went um,
they were doing the marathonsand whatever else is.

Speaker 3 (15:57):
so I went back, I don't know, like eight years ago
for the first time and whenthey were building, um, the new
freedom tower, I remember theyhad let a group of wounded
warriors go up to one of thefloors and I remember I was just
kind of like sitting there withmy head down, like just praying
and thinking about you know,that day and whatever.
Whatever had happened and um,and somebody took a picture of

(16:19):
me, you know, with my head downand I was wearing like a yankee
fitted hat, and I just justlooked back and I go, what were
Americans thinking that day?
You know like what, justregular, everyday people are
just walking down the streetlooking around and all of a
sudden, bam, you know, planesgoing into towers.
I can't even imagine what thosepeople felt like.
You know, and I've heard somepeople, I've met some pretty

(16:40):
incredible people after myinjury because of you know the
way things work and volunteerwork and this and that, and you
hear their stories and it's likethey didn't really sign up for
that.
You know, they were just goingto work, they were going to
visit, they were going on a joyride.
You know, I signed up for that.
I signed up to go overseas andI kind of knew what I was
signing up for.
These people were just livingtheir life, you know.

(17:02):
So I can't imagine just everysingle day you go home and you
go to work and I talk about thisin my mental health podcast,
about autopilot, how we're anautopilot.
How many people do you thinkwere looking down at their phone
or maybe reading a magazine, orgetting in a car or whatever
and just driving and they werelike like did a second look?
You know, like what?
What was that?
You know, I remember getting introuble when I was in school

(17:28):
because I thought it was a sickjoke.
Not being from new york, beingin atlanta and watching these
planes hit the towers, you'rejust like what is that?
You know, what kind of sickjoke is that?

Speaker 2 (17:32):
so, um, right, you know it's, it's definitely, uh,
it's definitely surreal, youknow absolutely yeah, and I mean
, and you think about theculmination of everything that
happened too, and then all of asudden you're in afghanistan and
then you encounter a lifealtering situation yourself.
Want to talk about that?

Speaker 3 (17:49):
Yeah.
So you know my, my whole goalin Afghanistan as you probably
know are a lot of veterans thatlisten to the show was operating
in modern freedom, right.
So our goal was to go there andclear the Taliban forces, win
the hearts and minds of peopleand just help out.
And clear the Taliban forces,win the hearts and minds of the
people and just help out.
Now for the veterans that arelistening, you know, a lot of us

(18:10):
have kind of understood thatour goal in a war zone was
really just to followinstructions.
You know, follow orders, dowhat we're told.
And it was just a job.
You know, it's like going towork at Taco Bell, it's like
going to work at a school, likeit's nothing different.
Of course we take it a littlebit more personable, a little
bit more prideful because we'redoing a job that not many people
want to go, and at that time Idon't think any of us really
wanted if we knew the severityof it and we knew what was going

(18:32):
on, how we really wanted to gofor the amount of money that we
were making.
You know a lot of people thatwere there were there because
they had some kind of passion intheir heart to give back back
to their country.
Not the mission, not what wewere doing in Afghanistan, you
know.
So my purpose was, as a machinegunner, is just to set over
watch for our guys.
We'd clear the streets, wewould clear IEDs, we would help

(18:54):
people that would build schoolsand wells, and of course, the
Taliban would come and bloweverything up.
So there were times where you'dbe sitting there at night going
, what the are we doing?
You know, what are we doinghere?
What is our goal?
What is our mission?
What's the purpose?
You definitely ask why.
A lot, some people that go backand back and back and back from

(19:16):
deployment to deployment todeployment.
I think it becomes more of alifestyle.
It's kind of like your boys areout there.
It's kind of what you know howto do, you're good at it.
I know I know a lot of, atleast in the Marine Corps.
You know you got one or twoship bags here and there, but
for the most part everybodythere is pretty squared away,
you know, and ready to go.
So we were clearing thiscompound.
One day, you know, we'd beentold that Taliban were lacing

(19:38):
IEDs in this area and so wepicked up all our stuff again on
a foot patrol.
We went down across a wadi ofuh, which is like a open land of
water, but there's no water,it's all dried up, desert.
And we get to the compound.
We have three elements an entryteam, an overwatch team and a
capture team.
And so, of course, the guyskicked down the door, clear,
clear, clear, you know.
They're clearing the wholecompound with detectors and a

(20:00):
dog and uh, so I took my teamyou you know which was, you know
a couple of different, a coupleof guys can't remember how many
guys there was, but we were ateam and they said the captain
was like you guys are gonna goon the roof.
So we watched for the night andthe morning, when I wake up and
start, you know, doing patrols,he said 10, four, you know.
We started putting the tripodsup and putting the machine guns
up and guys were taking theirbags off and getting a little

(20:22):
comfortable for the night.
And it's crazy because I justremember, you know, and I've
told the story a million timesnow and it's like the more I
tell it, the more I remembersome details, but I just
remember us going up into thislittle, this little roof, you
know, because that's how we weregoing to get to see over the
walls and we all went up thesame way.
I came down, except that when Iwent up we all kind of walked

(20:43):
up and when I jumped off theroof being about 160 plus the
vest, the helmet, the gun, thethis that I must have been like
you know, whatever 200 poundslet's call it I jumped off and I
landed on a 30 pound IED.
That was already in the groundand the pressure plate was kind
of dug in a little deeperbecause it rained a couple of
days before.
So all I remember is just kindof being upside down on my back

(21:06):
and everything just ringing.
I mean, the movie's got itpretty good.
It's like that pin drop.
The pin drop is, like you know,pretty much my ears going off
with tinnitus and I just seethese little lights flickering
back and forth and I have guystell me like, hey, man, stay put
, we're going to take care ofyou and honestly, I didn't
really know the extent of myinjury at the time.
So all you hear is thenine-line medevac being called

(21:28):
out.
You know, bravo, mike Foxtrot.
7229-er.
You know, da-da-da.
And all of a sudden, withinwhat seemed like a couple
minutes, a helicopter was comingin and they're putting me in
the litter, carrying me on tothe helicopter and you know the.
The rest is history.
Um, when I got to germanybecause we go from the combat

(21:49):
zone to bargram, which is alocal hospital, and then from
there they take you to germanywhere there's more stabilized
hospital facility, good doctorsand you know whatever else, a
little bit more sanitary oh,they started doing surgery and I
woke up and I remember lookingdown and I was like you know,
both my legs are gone and, uh,you know I had my broken pelvis,
shattered femur, it was just alot.
The bomb had really, you know,took a hit, especially as I was

(22:10):
on a rooftop, um, but I honestlyI was just it's crazy because,
looking back now, like mybiggest thing has always been
faith you know religion and Iknow we question it a lot and
whatever but I just kept lookingup, going like god, if you out
of here, like, I'll do whateverit is that you want me to do.
You know I was like I get to gohome and that was really a
pivotal point for me to go.

(22:30):
Hey, you know I got work to donow.

Speaker 2 (22:33):
Were you fairly religious before you joined the
military?

Speaker 3 (22:36):
I've always been, you know, church goer.
You know, not like religiouslygoing to church every single
Sunday, but we did.
I prayed, I read the Bible, Italked about faith, you know,
but not like I do now.
I definitely was already set upfor success, you know.
I believe that.
You know Jesus was my Lord andSavior.

(22:57):
I knew who God was and myfamily always kind of talked
about it.
So for me I felt like I was alittle bit more prepared than
most, because I think religion,unfortunately, is dying in
today's society because weforced, or we were forced, as
children to go to church and nowas adults, a lot of people kind
of go I don't have time, youknow, I don't have time.

(23:19):
I have sports, I have this, Ihave that, and then we don't
pick up a Bible anymore becausenobody goes to the bookstore
anymore, nobody reads books.
That's what it appears.
Of course I know people readbooks.
I'm just talking about from ablanket statement back then.
But I remember that when you'redeployed you don't have much
else to think about or talkabout.
So I used to sit on post withmy buddy Kelsey and we used to

(23:40):
talk about the Bible, you know.
We used to talk about God andwhat's going to happen, and we
used to talk about the Bible.
You know, we used to talk aboutGod and what's going to happen.
God forbid.
Because you know you're 18, 19,20 years old and you're seeing
your buddies die or get hurt.
So all you do is you hope thatit doesn't happen to you.
You know you just pray, likeplease God, like get me through
this, give me the strength.

(24:07):
You know, whatever I mean, I'dlost a lot of guys to.
You know know lighter IEDs, 10pounds, 5 pounds, and losing
eyes and arms and everythingelse.
To me, I stepped on a 20 poundbomb and all I lost is like my
shins down.
You know that's I know to otherpeople who are like only your
shins down, yeah, but to me, aguy who knows people have lost
everything up to the hips andstuff with a 10 pound bomb, like
I'm very fortunate, I'm veryblessed to be alive no, well,
I'm glad you're still here, man,be able to tell and share your
story.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
And you know, looking back at that day when that
happened, you know, and you'retalking about the sensations,
the, the different things youexperience.
You know, the explosion, theringing, the, the lights, you
know.
Do you really recall feelingmuch else beyond that, like was
there a shearing pain or?

Speaker 3 (24:43):
it wasn't until later on where I started feeling the
pain in my pelvis, like I, thelegs they hurt, and you know it
was kind of like a pain of likeif you drop the 50 pound
dumbbell on your leg, like youknow, you have some throbbing
pain.
What people kind of are confusedabout is phantom pain and nerve
damage.
So the phantom pain is in thebeginning, right when you feel
like your legs are still there,so you still got an itch or you

(25:05):
still get like a cramp orwhatever, and throughout time
it's more nerve damage, rightwhere your nerves are kind of
like firing off but they don'thave anything to respond.
So throughout time the the morepain that I felt was in my
midsection, on my pelvis and mypelvis separated, so they had to
put x-fix to put the pelvisback together because I was
non-weight bearing so I couldn'teven stand up.

(25:27):
When they gave me prosthetics Ihad to wait like three, four
months for this bone to heal andthen that's when I was starting
to, you know, do physicaltherapy and get back into it so
they transport you out of iraqand typically they go to germany
and then from there to walterreed.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
You know and've I've had a handful of friends that
have been in the Walter Reedbefore and everyone has a little
bit of a different experience,you know.
So talk left for the averagelistener who is, you know,
obviously does not know somebodywho has been through Walter
Reed, you know what was yourexperience there and what
exactly like what was their.
Obviously know what theirpurpose is is to get you better,
but what did that experienceseem like for you?

(26:04):
Or that journey?
I mean, that's a long road.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
It is a long road, but I'll tell you this and,
especially looking back now, Iquestion so many things that
happen in life and the older Iget, obviously they say, the
more wisdom you get.
Looking back, I've always had apretty positive outlook on life
and I'm optimistic about thingsthat happen, that you're just
like you know you want to beupset at the world and God and
your family and whoever.

(26:28):
But looking back, like I wastreated like like a God.
You know I was treated likewith so much respect and like oh
my God, thank you for yourservice and stuff.
Like look, let's be honest, youknow I'm not trying to say that
I have imposter syndrome, butyou feel like what the hell did
I really do?
You know I survived.
Okay, great, You're a survivor,let's call you that, but I'm no
hero.
Like heroes are people likeKyle Carpenter that knew what

(26:50):
the hell they were doing.
They jump on top of a grenadeto save people's lives.
You have, you know, dakotaMyers.
These guys have theseincredible stories of things
that they did, that they pursued, you know, danger for safety of
others.
So for me, I'm very blessedthat I'm alive and I'm very
grateful that people look up tomy story and whatever happened.

(27:11):
But I know that that was meantfor me.
You know what happened wasmeant for me and I'm using it,
you know, for positivity forothers who are going through
difficult times in a physicalaspect, because there's so much
more than a physical injury thatgoes on in military service
members.
You know there's guys who Ilove dearly, that are, you know,
not amputees, that don't haveanything physically wrong with

(27:33):
them, but are dealing with a lotof anxiety, depression, ptsd,
alcoholism.
You know they depend on drugsand I've had I'm sure you've had
as well numerous suicides,overdoses, and you get one, like
every year or every other yearor a couple of year and you go.
What the hell is going on, youknow.
And for me, like I've had thesupport where people see my

(27:54):
injury, you know, and they godude thanks for your service and
like a part of my subconsciousis like almost affirming that,
wow, what I did was worth it.
But imagine our brothers andsisters who get deployed or do,
let's say, time in service,never deployed.
It still takes a toll on you,on your body, on your life,

(28:14):
monetarily, physically,emotionally, spiritually.
So I kind of struggled withthat for a long time in the more
recent years because myexperience, again for the
physical aspect, people werethere to fix the boo-boo.
I have no legs, so what do theydo?
They let me heal and they giveme prosthetics.
Then other people inspire me towalk, to run and to be involved

(28:36):
with so many differentorganizations playing softball,
skydiving, teaching kids.
That gives somebody like me apurpose.
But what about the people thatwent through what I went through
, like you were saying, andmaybe didn't have a physical
injury and going through WaltReed as a wounded warrior
battalion in the Marine Corpsand are dealing with PTSD or
dealing with other things?

(28:57):
Listen, these injuries,physical or emotionally, are not
life threatening.
Ending right Like people withPTSD recover.
People with anxiety recover.
People with depression recover.
People with suicidal thoughts,ideologies, who have been on the
brink of jumping off the bridgerecover.
Those are triggering things forme.

(29:17):
You know I don't know if youput something in your podcast.
I tried to let people know thatsome of these topics can be
triggering.
But you know, having intrusivethoughts is something that
people don't even know untilthey're older.
You know, the last couple ofyears I got deep into it because
I was like what is going on?
Why am I having such negativethoughts or so many negative
moments in my life where it'slike, well, I have a child, I'm

(29:40):
married, I have a car, I have ahome.
I'm grateful for all thesethings.
But why do I feel like thisdeep emotion?
It's because in the military,we shove everything down, we
shove these nasty, but nobodywants to feel sad.
This happens to everybody,though.
This happens to regular,everyday people.
It doesn't have to be justcombat veterans, it doesn't have
to be firemen, police officers,and that's what I kind of talk

(30:01):
about in my podcast with mentalhealth is that when you have
somebody going through somethingand you're able to see it, it's
almost easier to treat.
But when you have something youcan't explain, it's almost
impossible.
And if the person doesn't sharethat information, it's a double
whammy, because they don't knowhow to explain it to you or
they're not willing to try toarticulate what they're feeling

(30:22):
or what they're thinking or whatthey're going through, and then
it becomes difficult.
So when you had people likethat at Walter Reed we're
walking you through these thingsI think that's kind of was.
My culprit of success is that Ihad people to show me the way.
I had people like hey, we'regoing to give you prosthetics.
You're going to learn to walk,then you're going to learn to
run and then we're going to helpyou go up and downstairs, cause
that's difficult.
You're learning to relive yourlife, you know, but again, I

(30:46):
wouldn't have been able to dothe things that I did or do now
if it wasn't for people who haddone it before me.
So, um, honestly, I have theoutmost respect for my OTs, you
know, my occupational therapist,my PTs, my doctors, my nurses,
the people who helped me, thenonprofit organizations that are
out there helping veterans likeyou and I kind of get back into

(31:08):
the rhythm of things, whetherit's financial help or whatever.
You know that's what we're allhere doing.
There's no competition.
We're just all trying to get asmany resources as possible for
for people out there who aregoing through it.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
No, yeah, totally.
And to piggyback on some ofwhat you said you know just
because you went through thatsituation doesn't mean your
story's over.
It doesn't mean that you can'tovercome that and you cannot
move forward.
And you decided not to let thatovercome you and you did decide
to move forward.
You know, you're a veteranwho's a double amputee and now
being the first double amputeepolice officer in the United

(31:42):
States.
That's absolutely phenomenaland that is not an easy feat.
So there's been a lot of mentalchallenges that have come along
with that too.
Do you want to talk about alittle bit of those?

Speaker 3 (31:50):
Absolutely so.
I apologize.
My little dog's barking in thebackground.
You're good to go, chloe.
Come here.
Chloe.
This is what I got to deal with.
This is how I learned how tohave patience.
I have a one-year-old goldenretriever.
I got two cats and a Morky whojust turned 11 and she's she's
the psycho of the of thehousehold, um, and she's
actually helped me uh, learn howto deal with with more of my

(32:13):
patients.
I'm very low on patients, asmany uh people uh go through it
in the military.
Um, so for me, the, the, themental aspect of it.
We have so many people inbootcamp and school and
deployments that help us kind ofgo through the physical aspect
of it and at the same time,we're so naive to call it mental

(32:34):
strength, right, like, oh, yougot yelled at and you got
screamed at and you got pushedagainst the wall and you learn
how to have discipline.
But really it was only becausewe were scared as hell of our
platoon leaders or our superiors, and you know, following
instructions and doing whatwe're told If you don't listen
to me, you're going to end upgetting killed, and you know.
So you just kind of follow theinstructions that you're being
given, but then you get out ofthe military and so you're so

(32:56):
used to following a platoonleader, a platoon commander or
whatever it is that you haveleading you, and then you're by
yourself.
You know and these are storiesthat I've kind of dealt with
myself and things that I'veheard from my fellow veterans
and law enforcement officers andwhatever else is that when
you're operating on your own andyou weren't taught these things
at a younger age, you're goingto struggle.

(33:18):
You're going to strugglebecause we get so egotistical,
you know, and cynical that wethink that we're above
everything else.
You know, we're going to combatand we've seen our buddies
getting blown up and goingthrough a lot of trauma and
we're like, ah, that can'thappen to us.
And we walk around likeHercules or Superman, you know,
and we're some of us are prayingGod, please don't let that

(33:39):
happen to me, but you're in acombat zone, so you can't blame
anybody for the worst that'sinevitable to come.
We're just very blessed that wego there and a lot of people do
come back without any physicalinjuries.
But when you start dealing withcertain things like anxiety or
sadness, depression, fear,whatever emotion you want to
talk about and we've neverreally talked about it.

(34:01):
It is very frightful thatyou're going through these
things and you don't want to askfor help.
You don't want to reach outbecause you don't want to like
the crazy person, you don't wantto look like you know you're
losing your mind, or thatveteran with PTSD or whatever
else.
Ptsd stands for post-traumaticstress disorder, right, and they
try to take the D out of it andmake it post-traumatic stress
and whatever else.
But the more I go through life,I meet people who've never gone

(34:24):
to war zones or have notresponded to 911 calls and they
have things that kind of have togo through with Post Traumatic
Stress too.
You know, like you get in a caraccident, all right.
And if you go in this caraccident now, every time you get
in the car you're kind ofscared.
You know you're scared thatyou're going to get in a car
accident again.
Or if something happens withyour kids, you know you're
scared that's going to happenagain, you know.

(34:46):
So the way that we overcomethese things is by doing what
you and I are doing talkingabout it.
Hey, man, lately I have beenable to sleep or I've been
feeling down like have you evergone through that?
And then you're gonna go.
Yeah, man, it happened to mewhen I was 19.
Or what happened to me when Iwas 25.
Or it happened to me when I hadmy first kid.
It came out of nowhere.

(35:06):
This is an emotion.
Look, we push away therapists,right?
I started seeing a therapistand they broke down how the mind
works, how the body works, whatthe fight or flight really
means.
All right, and then I was ableto understand like, oh, is that
that feeling that I have in mygut, or is that why I'm not
sleeping?
Or is that why I'm sweating?
Or is that why my whatever'sgoing on physiologically, my

(35:27):
body and the mental health stuffis scary, because you think
about, you know things happeningto you and you don't want to
talk about it because you don'twant people to go.
Oh god, there's matt, you knowhe's got anxiety, like you know,
and the more we're learning alot about it because, like,
regular people are coming outand talking about their fears,
you know, and a lot of like whatkids are going through.

(35:49):
So when, when these kids aregoing through stuff, like as an
adult, I feel like I owe it tomy daughter, who's 10 years old
and is starting to go to schooland getting bullied or people
are calling her names.
And now she comes home and shelooks in the mirror and she's
like I'm ugly.
And you start like almostgetting in that mindset of
everything is negative.
You know so, when you'reconstantly focusing on the
negative, unfortunately they saythat's what comes to life is

(36:11):
the negative.
But when you constantly focuson the positive, no matter how
difficult things are in themoment, then you're able to kind
of work towards the light,right, you're able to kind of
get through that negativeemotion.
And how do we do that?
What you're doing, what you'repromoting, is the, the whole
outdoors theme getting outdoors,walking, getting a fresh air,
getting sunlight.
You know you can find thisstuff on social media,

(36:33):
everywhere.
You know most people are tryingto promote the right thing.
Am I saying that you know lightis going to fix your depression
?
No, am I saying that going tothe gym is going to fix your
anxiety?
No, but you becoming aware whatthese things are, it kind of
you're helping yourself developbetter, better habits which are
kind of good in the moment,because when they're in the
military you're exercising thesethings without even knowing it.

(36:54):
You're working out, you're in ateam group effort.
You're doing the best you canwith positivity.
You have this brotherhood.
There's a lot of good thingsgoing on, but at the same time,
looking back, you're developingbad things too.
The alcohol, alcohol issurrounding everything in law
enforcement, the military andfirst responders.

(37:16):
Drugs Guys are kind of gettingthe drugs.
Why, in my perspective, it's tokind of drown a lot of those
feelings, drown a lot of thoseemotions and we could talk about
it.
That's what we say in mypodcast.
Talk about it.
You know, why did you startdoing drugs?
Okay, it started out with somemarijuana, great.
Why are you doing cocaine?
And why are you freakinginjection, injecting other

(37:36):
things?
And why are you doing this?
And why are you drinking afreaking liter of vodka on a on
a Tuesday night?
You know cause?
A lot of people don't know howto like.
You know, because a lot ofpeople don't know how to like,
you know, cope with some ofthose, those nasty feelings.
You know.
So the more we talk about it,the easier it gets.

Speaker 2 (37:55):
Yeah, no, it's definitely something.
I've been in therapy too, youknow, and it's nothing to be
ashamed of, you know, andtherapy is a good thing and it
helps you process those thoughtsand feelings and the
experiences you've had and beingable to, like you said, talk
about the things.
It's huge, you know, and I'mglad you guys are doing a
podcast too.
You know, you have a wholedifferent world of perspective
and the things you've beenthrough and the successes and
the failures, and if we don'tshare those, it's not going to
help anyone at all and we haveto, you know it's, it's we have

(38:17):
to look out for our peers andour colleagues that have been
through something same orsimilar.
Nothing's going to be the sameexperience, but if we're not
sharing that information orsharing our experiences with
each other, it's definitelygoing to make life a lot harder
and then, ultimately, some ofthese individuals succumb to
those issues, and that's when wehave the suicide numbers and
those rates got to come down,and the only way we're going to

(38:37):
do that is by sharing.
We got to share, share, share.

Speaker 3 (38:39):
Honestly, I still.
I struggle with that becausetypically what you hear is that
guy was such a good dude, thatguy was a family man, that guy
had kids, he was married, he hada good job, he had a good
career, he was always smiling.
You know and I know it soundsstupid and call it what you want
, but Robin Williams always usedto say somebody who went

(39:00):
through depression andeverything else too you got to
worry about the guys who arepretending to be happy, not sad.
You know, people don't fakesadness, they fake happiness,
right.
I think I got that right.
And I look back and as a kid Inever thought Robin Williams did
drugs.
I never thought Robin Williamsdid, you know, was an alcoholic.
I never thought of those thingsbut the guy was the funniest

(39:22):
SOB that I've ever heard, youknow, and you're like whoa.
Like you know, you don't thinkabout the things that that
person might've gone through intheir life and there's
documentaries about it and youread books about those people
and it makes you feel like, wow,how horrible is it that when
you learn a little bit aboutyourself and what serotonin is
and what these hormones are andwhy people do drugs, can you

(39:44):
imagine being the funniest guyin the room and then, when
you're not in the room, you'renot funny anymore and nobody's
there to laugh at your jokes andnobody's there to, you know,
make you feel like you're on topof the world.
How in the world do you get tothose levels of?
Is it serotonin?
Is that what I think that'swhat it is serotonin, the happy
hormone.
How do you meet thoseexpectations of the drugs and

(40:06):
the people and the crowd youknow think this is what they say
.
I'm not trying to miss spreadinformation.
They said some of the peoplethat kill themselves are the
happy people in the world.
Comedians, right?
Robin williams and other people?
Um, you look at people whosuccumb to addiction, you know,
with drugs and alcohol.
It's like why were theydrinking so much?
Why would?
Because, let's be honest, Ican't.

(40:28):
I can't remember how old youare.
I am 40.
40 years old, right?
How bad is a freaking hangovernow?
Oh terrible, Absolutely terribleI have three high noons and I'm
out for like two days.
When I was younger, I could havea few drinks and party till
four or five o'clock in themorning, get up at six and go to
work.
You know, now you have kidscrying, you got to go to work

(40:50):
and whatever.
I don't want to drink anymore.
My wife and I rarely drink, youknow.
I much rather have like aCoca-Cola and eat a whole pie,
watch a movie, fall asleep onthe couch, wake up and go to the
gym, and even then that's hard,you know.
So imagine having to drinkyourself to sleep.
Like I don't think that'senjoyable, I think that's kind
of a cry for help sometimes, youknow, not to mention, it's

(41:11):
expensive as hell and it hurtsit's.
If you're, if you're anintelligent human being, you're
going to go.
Hey, alcohol is good to acertain extent, I guess you know
.
Maybe a glass of wine or youknow a drink here and there is
not going to kill you.
But when you're having enoughalcohol to put out a whole

(41:33):
football team, you know I don'tthink that person is doing it
because they enjoy drinking.
Don't get me wrong.
I have a few drinks and I'm alittle bit more, not that I need
any more.
Uh, comfort to be social.
As you can tell I love talkingum I love meeting new people,
you know, and having a fewdrinks does take the edge off,
but people that are doing doingdrugs and alcohol on an everyday
basis, to the point wherethey're going to sleep from it.
It's like, man, we should havedone better.
We should have done better tobe there for them, to ask them

(41:56):
certain questions like hey man,what are you thinking about?
Are you scared of thosethoughts?
Are you scared of somethinghappening to you?
Why are you trying to drown itout?
You're always listening tomusic very loud.
You know you're always havingto be around people.
You're always, you know, orthen the people that are by
themselves all the time I'm like, hey, how are you doing?

(42:16):
Why don't you want to come out?
So it's like a weird concept,but typically you can fill
people out, you know, and you go.
Hey, man, I want you to knowthat the biggest thing I've
heard in the last five years isyou are not alone, and I hate
that saying because I think it'smisconstrued as to what you are
not alone means.
You're not alone doesn't mean,in my opinion, you're by

(42:37):
yourself and nobody's here foryou.
You are not alone to me meanshey, I've been through that, I
know somebody who's been throughthat and you're going to be
okay, and I know it's difficultand I too have had those those
hard days.
And you know who I learned frommy grandma.
Like my grandpa, I've talked toolder people who, when I
explain these things, they startlaughing and I'm like what the

(42:59):
f**k is so funny?
This is scary, like what.
I've had, these thoughts whereI've done this or I've done that
, and, and they go oh, like, andmy grandma's?
You know, we're Spanish, soit's a Spanish thing.
I'm a heat though.
You're like oh, son, you knowshe's having to deal with that
for 86 years.
And you know, you're like whydidn't nobody tell me about this
, right?
You know, why didn't anybodyexplain to me these emotions and

(43:20):
the things that we have as weget older?
It's difficult.

Speaker 1 (43:26):
Hi, this is Phil podcast producer for the
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I know your time is valuableand we thank you for listening
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Speaker 2 (45:52):
Visit them at RelentlessDefendercom what it
actually means, and I thinkthat's a very good point,
especially for the listeners whomay be not able to relate.
You know we do have listenersto the podcast that may have not
served, or you know, but thoughit doesn't take away from the
fact that you may have gonethrough something in your
personal life too, outside ofthe service that says that you
didn't, there's people who getPTSD that do not serve.

Speaker 3 (46:02):
I preach that to everybody.
I heard something incrediblefrom my pastor.
He says comparison is the deathof gratitude, right.
So when you are too busycomparing your life to other
people, you're constantly goingto put yourself down Like why
does my life suck so bad?
Why do I have to go throughthis?
Why, why me, why why?
And it's like hold on a secondDude.

(46:24):
And I talk to my cousin aboutthis all the time.
She was a big, you know,positive light in my eyes when I
started going through a lot ofmy mental struggles, right.
She used to be like, hey, youknow, and I look at her and I go
what the hell could possibly bewrong with her?
She's beautiful, intelligent,smart, has money, like life, is
good, not a veteran, not police.
And she's like oh, every time Isee dogs, I am anxious and I go

(46:46):
into like a, like a ball, and Igo what?
And then I had to talk to mytherapist and I go is it
possible that my fears and herfears, or your fears, are all
the same on the same platform?
So the things that I am scaredof are equal to the things that
you're scared of.
So that that quote comes inhandy when you go.

(47:07):
Comparison is the death ofgratitude.
When you start comparing whatyou're going through and what
that person's going through andyou compare it, you're always
going to be like, oh my god, mylife is so much worse.
Dude, what people are goingthrough in in their life right
now.
I tell them, please don't dumbit down.
I tell my recruits all the timebecause they look at me and I I
love that they say this becauseI know it comes from a good
place, but I'm like I can'tfucking complain.

(47:29):
You have no legs.
So when I think about notrunning, I see you running and
I'm like, no, no, no, don't dothat.
If you have an ankle injury orif you have an knee injury, I'm
very blessed I had legs.
I know how difficult that is togo through Recovery from a knee
injury, a pulled muscle.

(47:49):
Dude, I'm a human being.
Like I get it, it hurts, itsucks, and that means that
that's your worst day and thatis the thing that you have to
worry about and focus on andwhat you're going through.
You know you're havingnightmares.
You're having difficultythrough divorce.
Look, I went through a divorcemyself.
My parents went through adivorce.
My older brother went through adivorce.
I hate that.
It's not a positive thing, but Ican tell you that if there's
anybody listening to this rightnow and they're like my life is

(48:10):
done, I'm going through divorce,I'm going to lose everything,
I'm not going to be able to seemy kids.
Look, it took time, it tookyears before my ex-wife and I
were able to be amicable andgood for our daughter and mature
and grow up and go.
Hey, us fighting over this isnot going to help the situation
and our child needs to have agood, healthy relationship with
us so that she can be healthyand positive herself.

(48:31):
Right, and we're trying thebest that we can with what we
got.
But people are like, oh, I'mgoing through divorce, my life
is ruined, and I'm like, dude,you can't do that.
Look at all the people in lifewho have been through a divorce
and they're okay.
Is it going to take time?
Hell yeah.
Is it going to be hurtful?
Hell yeah.
Are you going to be broke for alittle while?

(48:51):
Hell yeah, you know, butthere's a light at the end of
the tunnel, you know.
So I would just tell the peoplethat are listening surround
yourself with people who loveyou, who care for you and who
genuinely have your back.
You know cause life is toughenough as it is and it happens
to kids a lot.
You know kids.
You know because life is toughenough as it is and it happens
to kids a lot.
You know kids get wrapped up inthe bullying and this and that,

(49:12):
and I'm 35 and you're 40.

Speaker 2 (49:13):
And we still see that shit.

Speaker 3 (49:13):
We still putting us down, people putting other
people down?
I won't, I won't do it.
I'm in a room with somebodytalking shit about somebody else
.
I go, hey man, you should tellthat person that to their face,
and I just walk out because Idon't even want to be a part of
it.
No, I'm not perfect.
I still laugh at jokes that areprobably inappropriate and I
still go, oh yeah, that guy isan asshole, but I don't put into
it.
You know like people aredealing with shit every single

(49:35):
day and again, like RobinWilliams said, you know nobody's
faking sadness.
So if you see somebody down,the last thing they need is you
putting them down when theyalready have a bad circumstance
to begin with Absolutely, andit's one of the things I tell my
kids too is don't ever letanybody tell you that your
feelings aren't valid.

Speaker 2 (49:53):
What you are experiencing and your feelings
that you have are valid.
What you do with your feelingsand the resources that you lean
on and use is the important part.
Make sure that you know thatthey're valid and that's okay as
long as we, as other people andhumans, have compassion and we
know that they're valid andthat's okay as long as we, as
other people and humans, havecompassion and we know that
they're human and we can helpvalidate those.
At the same time, what can wedo to help those others?
You know?
No, it's a very good message.

(50:15):
I appreciate you sharing allthat.
You know.
It's obviously you've been onyour own journey for quite a
while when it comes to thepositivity side of things.
You know, and, and you continueto live that.
You know, and, and you continueto live that you know by
serving as a police officer.
You know not your, your servicecould have been done.
You know, in that capacity withthe military, but transitioning
out of there, you continue toserve.
You know, and what got you intopolice work?

Speaker 3 (50:38):
Just like any other police officer that's probably
listening to this.
I was in the military before.
It's just like the same service, you know, like it's kind of
what we know.
I mean some people might callit stupid, like you don't know
how to do anything else.
It's not that I know I'mintelligent, I know I could do
something else, but just wearingthe uniform, having that pride,
being able to be a part of ateam, those things are important
to me.

(50:58):
They're kind of my foundation,so it's very difficult to veer
off, but that's why I'm involvedin so many different other
things too, besides just policework.
Know, I tell people all the timeI mean, please don't only have
cop friends.
When you're a cop, you knowright, have people that still
humble you, that bring you backdown to earth, that let you
enjoy things outside of themilitary and the police.
Because let's be honest, likethere's a lot of reward in doing
what we do but there's also alot of trauma that comes with it

(51:21):
.
You know, secondary trauma is areal thing and when you're
going to to suicides, homicides,car accidents, babies dying and
suffering.
And we're all EMTs in mydepartment, so we're going to
all the aided stuff too, and soyou see a lot of bad stuff in
life and it almost makes younumb to these things and
eventually people are like whatthe hell is wrong with you?
No, what the hell is wrong withus as a society is that we're

(51:44):
normalizing being able to behealthy and happy, you know,
without doing shit about it.
No, I could tell you what myregime looks like.
I have a support group, I havea therapist, I go to church, I
have a podcast.
I started a nonprofitorganization that helps veterans
and first responders get backinto physical fitness.
I surround myself with thingsthat I know make me feel good.

(52:06):
I started reading for the firsttime in my life, bro, I just
started finishing books that Iactually do on my own.
I started diving into mentalhealth how to be positive and
negative outcomes, how to sit inthis uncomfortable pain.
You know how many times I'veyelled at recruits for five
years get comfortable beinguncomfortable, and then it's
like I don't even know how to dothat at times.

(52:28):
You know, you get anxiety andyou feel like the internal
tremor.
You feel like you wake up withthat pit in your stomach.
You have intrusive thoughts,you start sweating.
You didn't sleep good.
You're like on your phone alldamn day long.
You know swiping, swiping,swiping, because you're trying
to get this like serotonin fixand you're like what is wrong
with me?
There's nothing wrong with you.
Your body's doing what it'ssupposed to do to keep you safe

(52:49):
and keeping you from losing yourdamn mind.
You know.
So when I started doing allthese things is when I was like,
hey, man, you're on the rightpath Doesn't mean I'm there.
I'm far from it and I hope thatI continue to do things that
make me happy and keep mehealthy.
But there's days that I havethat I'm just like I can't do
anything right today I can't doany breathing exercises, I can't

(53:10):
meditate enough, I can't prayenough to feel good, you know,
and I got to stop chasing thatfeel good feeling because that's
not normal.
So that's what we have tonormalize.
We have to normalize.
We are freaking human beings.
We're designed to feel sadness,happiness, you know.
Fear, anything that comes withthe human, you know conditioning
.
We have to normalize that and Ithink that the more we do that,

(53:33):
the better we get.
That's why you keep seeing allthese Instagram videos of these
young what do they call them?
Influencers?
These young influencers aremaking these cute little videos
of, like they're swimming andthen they're at the gym and then
they're reading a book and thenthey're journaling.
Yeah, I got that, you know, andI hope that they genuinely went
through a tough time for them tobe there and they're not just
blowing smoke up people's ass.

(53:54):
You know like, hey, this is whyI read, because it calms me
down.
Hey, this is why I run, becauseit takes my mind off the the
thoughts.
Hey, this is why I meditate,because it brings me closer to
my feeling.
Like, whatever reason you'redoing the things you're doing,
it's kind of what heals you.
It wasn't until I started, likeI said, reading books.
So I was like that's odd.

(54:14):
It's almost like I wrote thisbook.
You know, this completestranger from 1958 is writing
the same things that I'mthinking and feeling or going
through, you know.
So that's where I startedappreciating reading.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
No, it's good and you have chosen the path that does
not let you hold back on thesethings and with being the
amputee and doing the marathonsthat I list.
How many marathons have youdone now?

Speaker 3 (54:40):
I've never done any full running marathons.
The farthest I've run is halfmarathons.
I've done multiple marathons,that's more than I've ran.
Well, still, for me it was partof the recovery process.
You know you wouldn't catch meright now running a half
marathon or a marathon.
Back then I was 160 pounds andI had something to prove.
You know that I wanted to startrunning and want to get back
into that Marine Corps shape.

(55:02):
Now I'm like you know what I'llgo for with the dogs or my wife
.
Nice, beautiful today was herein long island.
It was 75 degrees, sunny, thetrees are orange, yellow, red,
green.
I'm like, oh yeah, this isbeautiful.
You know, like I'd rather dothat than go running, but I
still run from time to time,just the to keep me in the shape
, to to.
You know, at least show thatI'm leading by example, to the

(55:23):
to the younger generation, youknow yeah, no, it's phenomenal,
and I feel you.

Speaker 2 (55:27):
You know, this time of year is amazing getting out
in the fall, seeing all thecolors, getting that crisp, cool
air going in oh yeah, it resetsthe soul.
100, absolutely.
So the police force, though.
So you decided to go to thepolice academy and, uh, were
there any difficulties therethat you went throughout that
entire training?

Speaker 3 (55:46):
oh man I gotta be my department.
I'm not trying to blow up manyblows, theme up their ass or
anything, but they were sosupportive, you know, from the
get go.
I showed up with my prostheticsand they were like, whoa, hey,
you got a like a letter orsomething saying that you're
physically fit to be a policeofficer.
I'm like, yeah, look, the VAgave me this letter saying I'm
good, you know, because all myinjuries were healed, except,
you know, obviously, theprosthetics.

(56:07):
My legs are not going to growback, but they knew that the VA
was going to be paying for myprosthetics, so they didn't give
me any crap about that.
So when I was meeting theexpectations, you know, I was
running the mile and a half in11 minutes.
I was doing my push-ups and mysit-ups, I was doing all the
role plays, I was in theclassroom, I was passing my, my,
my classwork stuff.
They didn't really have much tosay except like, hey, dude,

(56:29):
we're proud of you, you know.
So I went to patrol and thatwas great.
I had a really good time.
The only challenges were notreally challenges, but just
uncomfortable is getting in andout of our some of our old
police cars.
When I started patrol we stillhad the Crown Vicks and we had
some of the Ford whatever thoseare called the cars.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
I know what you're talking about, Whatever those
are the Ford Taurus.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
What is it?
The Taurus Taurus?
Yeah, the Ford Taurus.
They're very low and I'm 6'1"and 230 pounds.
So it's kind of difficult forme to kind of like get so low,
especially when I drive a pickuptruck.
No-transcript difficult, it wasjust a challenge.
That going from my pickup truckto now this car was kind of
like weird Because I am a belowthe knee amputee.

(57:16):
Driving with my prosthetics isnot very difficult.
If you're above the knee it canbe a little bit more
challenging, but I still have myknee so I can still push the
pedals with no problem.
I still run, I still jump overfences, I still would have to do
foot pursuits and whatever else.
I think the mind kind of takesover and you forget that you're
even amputee half the time.
You know, I mean obviously inthe morning.
As an amputee it's a little bitmore difficult in the morning

(57:38):
because your your limbs swell upa little bit, so it takes a
little longer to get in insidethe prosthetics.
But when I'm in I'm prettycomfortable.
I have a good team ofprosthetists that build all my
prosthetics and, um, there is anarticle out on fox news that
when I graduated I didn't evennotice.
I said it, um, but they werelike, hey, what happens if you
break a leg and I go?
Well, I go on the trunk of mycar, I grab a new leg and I'm
back on duty.
You break your leg, you're outfor like six months or a year,

(58:02):
and so it was kind of funny.
You know, trying to shed somelight on the whole amputee thing
, um, but I've been veryfortunate on my prosthetics have
ever broken down on me or if Iever have any issues I go to my
guy and he's got me going in thesame day.
So, yeah, I would say that ifit's something that you want to
pursue, obviously I know everyagency is different, but I know
there's two other amputees thatI know of at least that are

(58:24):
double amputees, on patrol anddoing their thing, and they
actually were on my.
They're on my amputee softballteam now it's called the USA
Patriots and we travel thecountry and a lot of the teams
that we play are law enforcementofficers.
So they're like, dude, you guysare in great shape, why don't
you guys become cops?
And that's kind of a little bitof what inspired me to go into

(58:45):
law enforcement.
And then these guys ended updoing the same thing.
One of them is a cop in FortWorth, texas, and the other one
is upstate New York.
I've met other people throughsocial media that go hey, I'm
also a single below the knee, orI'm an arm amputee or I'm a
this, and I'm like dude, howfreaking awesome is this?
You know that people are eitherA going into the police
department as an amputee or Bthey were injured in the line of
duty on their duty as lawenforcement, and they're going

(59:07):
back to work.
You know.

Speaker 2 (59:10):
I was like mind blown .
You know that's, that'sincredible.
Yeah, no, I got a lot ofadmiration for you and your
drive.
I'll give you that.
You know, I know that I've haddifficult days and I'm very
impressed with your drive andit's inspirational to others.
It's fantastic.
And you know, I actually wasintroduced to you through Aaron
Slater.
It seemed he's a very commonname that comes out of my mouth

(59:30):
on our podcast.
Getting to meet extraordinarypeople.

Speaker 3 (59:32):
There's a relentless defender tattoo man.
I love that guy, aaron.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
I know he is such a good guy.
I actually had him on thepodcast yesterday at the
National Law EnforcementMemorial Fund, which will air
later in the season.
But you know, one of the thingsthat we talked about was Police
Week, and have you had a chanceto go to Police Week?

Speaker 3 (59:56):
I did.
I went with Aaron and Danny,you know, his wife and uh and
his family and we set up thetent and I got the experience
that whole tent city and go tothe Memorial and you know we we
did a gala or, like people inTexas would like to say, gala,
um, you know.
So that was pretty cool.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
You know that was a very good experience.
Yeah, no, he's a.
There are standup people, himand his wife and the
organization, his department notdepartment, but his company as
a whole and what they do forpolice officers and first
responders is very stand up andit's, it's, it's.
I'm very blessed to know them,just because I get to meet
people like you who have a veryinspirational story and the

(01:00:24):
things that you've done in yourcareer.

Speaker 4 (01:00:26):
And this one's scary 66% of Americans would struggle
to pay for a thousand dollaremergency.
We don't keep any money in thesavings accounts, right?
The scary part about that isthat 8 out of 10 of us watching
this right now are going toexperience a $5,000 whoopsie

(01:00:47):
every 10 years.
Something's going to happen.
Kids are going to break a legand there's going to be
out-of-pocket max medical thatyear.
Right, there's going to be ahell storm or a fire or some
kind of a natural disaster thatcauses us to have to write a big
old check for our deductiblefor the roof replacement or the
car.
Right, Something's going tohappen.
And I want you to think back tothe last time you had a
financial emergency.
Was it the event that causedthe stress or was it trying to

(01:01:08):
figure out how to pay for theevent that caused the stress?

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
So what are some of the highs and?

Speaker 3 (01:01:33):
lows that you've experienced throughout your your
police career.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
Honestly, it's like a pretty positive guy and you
find the positivity.

Speaker 3 (01:01:37):
So no, obviously I mean there's a lot of highs.
You know the highs are beingout in the community and when I
was on patrol, like you're ableto kind of connect with the
public a little bit more withwith sympathy and empathy.
And there have been times whereI've met kids in school
especially, like I'll have oneof the SROs, one of the school
resource officers, call me andgo hey man, there's this kid
with prosthetic and I wastelling her about you on patrol

(01:01:59):
and she'd love to meet you andI'd meet, like this girl that is
a double amputee and she'splaying basketball and you're
almost like shedding light oneach other's stories and you're
connecting with the public.
I've also been able to do somesome pretty cool stuff, you know
, with bad circumstances.
You know I've had moments whereI arrested let's call it a gang
member or something, and thenthey find out who I am and they

(01:02:21):
go dude, you got mad respect andstuff, and it's almost like I
just locked this guy up and nowhe's saying thank you for my
service.
That's pretty funny, you know.
But you're able to connect withthe public to a different
atmosphere because they almostsee you like hey man, thank you
for your service and they don'tjust see you as a cop, they see
you as somebody who served thecountry and that kind of came
first and I'm able to just talkto people, like when I go to

(01:02:43):
domestics, you know, and there'sa fight between a husband and a
wife and I go listen, man, I'vebeen through here.
It's tough, it's difficult.
Hang on in there, you know.
Give each other a little space.
Maybe pack a bag, go spend thenight somewhere, let things cool
down, you know.
So I can almost speak a littlebit from experience and that's
very helpful.
You know, some of the lows areunfortunately some of the calls
that we go on.
You know they're tough.

(01:03:04):
I don't think we shed enoughlight on the tremendous work the
law enforcement officers,paramedics, you know EMS,
firefighters they go throughevery day.
You know we go to see some ofthe worst calls in our lives and
then we have to come home andpretend everything's perfect
with our own families andsometimes that's not the case.
I'm trying to normalize it, atleast, you know, with my guys,

(01:03:26):
like, hey, there's going to bedays where it's tough, you know
what, instead of you going homeand blowing up on your family
because you've had such a longday?
How about we learn how to dealwith our emotions?
Hey, honey, I had a tough day.
I'm going to go for a walk, I'mgoing to get a workout.
When I come back I should bereset.
We'll help out.
How do we talk to oursignificant other?
How to let the other personknow I know you're stressed and

(01:03:48):
I'm stressed too.
Can we talk about this later?
There's things that I've had tolearn, unfortunately the hard
way, because I have been througha divorce that going out
drinking with the boys till twoo'clock in the morning after you
had a fight with your wife andyou have a newborn is not the
way to do it.
I've also been in the culpritof screaming and yelling at the
top of my lungs because I'm outof patience.
I'm at the wit's end.

(01:04:09):
I now have to go back to workin three hours and the last
thing I want to do is argueabout what's for dinner.
You know or why I didn't dothis or why I'm not doing that,
or why I haven't kissed yougoodnight in three nights.
You know like I'm trying to doa better job at helping guys go.
Hey, how about we normalize yousaying to your spouse I need a
little bit of help.
I need a little bit of support,instead of ignoring them and

(01:04:30):
then getting upset at them whenthey're upset at us because they
don't understand what the hellwe're upset about.
You know, and this is going tobe a 20 year, 25, 30 year
process with your significantother, because if you don't tell
them now, you're going to getto 20 years of your police
career, which you also beenmarried for 20 years and you
also had kids that are nowleaving high school and going to
college.
And now it's you and yoursignificant other at home and

(01:04:58):
you have no idea how to work outproblems.
So I've been trying tonormalize therapy.
Speaking to a therapist reallydoes help to kind of get your
voice and then understand theother person, because my wife
and I would get in arguments andI'm like you don't listen, you
don't understand, you don't talk, you close off, and these are
things that we need, like athird party, to kind of help us
meditate.
You know, on the good things inyour marriage, right, and
things are rough right now, butthey can get better if you do

(01:05:19):
this, you know.
But a lot of times we're justlike well, if she doesn't want
to listen, or if he doesn't wantto listen, then I'm not
listening, and that's not a wayto fix the marriage.
And that's another thing that Iwish my parents would have kind
of prepared me for a littlebetter.
My parents made it seem liketheir marriage was freaking
Disney, a Disney movie.
And I swear to God, chris, whenI got married I thought that

(01:05:40):
there would never be anyproblems.
All the issues that I had in mymarriage were like well, we're
not married, I want a ring, Iwant a house, I want a kid.
And it's like, when you havethe ring, you have the house,
you have the kids, and there'smore problems.
You know, so you're like whatthe fuck?
I gave you the ring.
We got married.
I don't go out anymore, I don'tdo anything.
You resenting the other personisn't going to make your
marriage better, you know.
And then I'll just again.
I forget who wrote the book.

(01:06:01):
I recommend it to the recruitsa lot.
Five Languages of Love.
You know, I don't know if youever.
It describes how we all loveand receive love differently.
So I was like well, men, wehave two love languages.
Typically they say there's two,right, most men have physical
touch and words of affirmation.
Why?

(01:06:21):
Well, sometimes it goes.
The childhood my mom was veryhands-on, like hugs, kisses,
good night.
You know, I love you, you lookhandsome, I'm proud of you, I
love your haircut.
And then you get married, youget a haircut and your wife
doesn't say shit.
You know, I love you, you lookhandsome, I'm proud of you, I
love your haircut.
And then you get married, youget a haircut and your wife
doesn't say shit, you know?
Or you lose 10 pounds and yourwife doesn't say shit.
So now you're receiving uh,what is it?

(01:06:41):
Um, uh, what's the word I'mlooking for?
Um, you're getting likepositivity from other people,
right, you're getting noticed byother friends or whatever, and
you're like damn, like Chris orJohn or Jessica noticed my
haircut.
Why the hell does my wife do it?

Speaker 2 (01:07:01):
Well, you guys have been talking for three months.

Speaker 3 (01:07:02):
So I'm pretty sure the last thing she wants to do
is tell you you look handsomeafter your stupid haircut.
You know, I think that youlearn about these love languages
.
Like you know, quality timeMost women want quality time and
acts of service.
What does that mean?
If your wife is anything likemine?
Right, she's a nurse and sheworks 13, 15, 16-hour days and
also does have to deal with,unfortunately, death and other

(01:07:25):
rough days for her.
Her love language is for me tomaybe have the house tidied up a
little bit.
You know, take the trash out tothe curb, make sure the dogs are
taken care of, the animals arefed, that my kid is ready to go,
did homework, laundry's done.
You know like these roles haveto be kind of, especially if
both people are working.
It makes it for a betterfunction at home, rather than me

(01:07:46):
coming home and going Nope, Ihad a rough day, I'm not doing
the laundry, I'm not taking shitout.
So now you're sick and makeanother comes home and all these
things are done and now you'rewondering why you're not
intimate or why she's nottelling you she loves you,
because she's upset and doesn'teven know how to tell you
because it's going to start afight, you know.
So when I started reading thatbook through therapy, it was
like, wow, like all right, I canget some work done here in my,

(01:08:08):
in my, in my partnership, youknow.
Yeah, well, my wife now we'reyeah, we still argue, we still
disagree on certain things, butwe have come so much closer, you
know, than we were before forrecognizing that, hey, we're
different people and my wifecould care less if I tell her
she's beautiful or I'm surethere's somewhere in there that
she wants to hear it but sherather have the laundry done and

(01:08:29):
I get that.
I'm like all right, cool, likeit's done, baby, whatever you
need.

Speaker 2 (01:08:34):
Yeah, it's like sometimes I'm not great about
buying groceries for the family,but that does go a long way and
you've got to figure out whatthat happy medium is and
actually consciously take thataction is huge.
But also being self-aware andknowing those things is also
significant and that's going isalso significant and that's
going to be helpful.
I've been divorced too and I'mremarried, so not uncommon

(01:09:02):
ground that we've both been on.
But we both get that.
You know and you learn a lotfrom those mistakes and the
things that you did in yourprevious marriage and you hope
that you learn from them and canstrengthen the next
relationship.
And you know it's, it's, but,but still it's always a learning
process.
When you stop learning, that'swhen things are bad.
But no, very, very, very goodwords of the wise for other
people who are especially peoplewho are young, law enforcement

(01:09:22):
officer, even military, you knowjust first responders, probably
in general too, you know, uh,the jobs are taxing and they
aren't difficult and you knowtaking some things home with you
is okay, but it's what you dowith it again, you know and I've
I've told my wife plenty oftimes where I was in an incident
at work and then I had to go toa birthday party for a family

(01:09:43):
member and I'm not.
I'm physically there, butmentally not, you know.
But understanding that and whatyou do with it and
communication is huge in thataspect too, being able to be
open and talk about those things.
And if you shut down and don'tsay anything, maybe there is a
time and place for that, but yougot to get out of that too,

(01:10:03):
because if you just stay there,it's not going to help anything.

Speaker 3 (01:10:06):
Yeah, I mean, I don't know if you can tell, I'm sure
you can, but when I speak I getvery passionate about the things
that I'm saying because I knowthat they've helped me and I
know they've helped some of myfriends.
And you know, it does lose itsvalue, especially as an
instructor.
I see it in the recruits.
When they first came in thefirst month they were like damn,
that dude's a badass.
Now they just treat me like aregular Joe.
You know, like it, like certainwords unfortunately do not get

(01:10:35):
you going past a certain level.
Like maybe you listen to thispodcast and then you hear me
talk on the next topic andyou're like, oh, here goes Matt
again.
You know, and I see that fromsome of my colleagues and my
friends, and that's why it'simportant to have good friends,
because they will humble you.
You know, I don't act like Iknow everything.
I do struggle with trying tofind some kind of perfection in
who I am and it's not normal foryou to try to be perfect.
Like you said, you'reconstantly going to gain weight,

(01:10:57):
lose weight.
You're constantly going to behappy with who you are and
unhappy with who you are.
You're constantly going to behappy in your marriage, unhappy
in your marriage.
You're constantly going to behappy with your kid and unhappy
with your kid.
My daughter said somethingabout driving in eight years and
she goes daddy, in 10 years I'mgoing to be 20, almost 21.
So maybe we can have a drinktogether, just like that,
casually.
She goes how are they going tobe dad?
I'm like I'm going to be 46years old.

(01:11:18):
Like that's mind blowing tothink that in 10 years I'm going
to be 46 years old.
You know, and you think aboutyour parents, like my dad.
My mom and my dad are both intheir 60s now, but I remember
being her age, thinking my dadand mom were like 30-something
years old.
I'm in that stage now where I'm30-something years old and I'm
thinking about being 46 in 10years.
It's like, oh my God, so I'malways going to have a purpose

(01:11:43):
to be better, do better.
I gained like 10 pounds in thelast two months from traveling,
like I said, to Greece I went toa bachelor party in Asheville,
my wife.
From traveling, like I said, toGreece I went to a bachelor
party in Asheville my wife andher and her parents.
We went to Vegas, you know.
So it was like enjoyment.
Now, thanksgiving's coming, soI'm like trying to get some of
this stuff and it's like, dude,it's okay, it's okay to gain a
few pounds, but just always goback to what you know walking,

(01:12:04):
drinking plenty of water, tryingto get good sleep, going to a
sauna.
If you can Talk to peopleHonestly, I think that makes a
huge difference.
Because when people ask me, howthe hell are you so happy?
You have no legs, you have somany reasons to not be happy, I
go well, number one.
I'm going to say it's God, myreligion thing is like that's
important to me.
I don't really push it onpeople, but I think it's

(01:12:26):
important to know what my reasonis for why I think my life is a
little different than somepeople.
You know, and I also tell usthat don't be upset or don't be
ashamed that maybe you haven'thad to be there.
Some people have never had areason to have God in their life
.
You know, some people went tochurch because they were told
when they were younger and theyleft it.
You know, because they're like,well, I don't really want to go

(01:12:46):
and I don't want to sit thereand talk, but I go to a
community church.
You know, it's anon-denominational Christian
church.
So you know, we believe inJesus, we believe in God.
Unlike the Catholic church, wedon't go to confessions and we
don't go up to the priest toreceive the Eucharist or
whatever, but we still doreceive the body of Christ and
whatever else.
But my church, my pastor, isalso divorced.

(01:13:07):
He talks about how ashamed hewas for a long time and how it
took him to recover from that,to become a better pastor.
And when I heard those thingscome from him I'm like I can
relate to this guy, I can relateto the scripture, I can relate
to some of his trials, you know.
And I felt like going to aCatholic church.
As much as I believe inreligion and I believe in the
Catholic church and Christianityand Buddhism or whatever it is

(01:13:30):
you believe in, I respect it.
I couldn't understand a priest.
I couldn't understand that.
How the hell does he know whatit's like to go through issues
of marriage if he's not evenallowed to be married?
How does he know that there'sissues of this and that when
he's a priest he's got God inhis pocket?
And then I realized that we allhave God in our pocket.

(01:13:51):
We all have Jesus Christ, wehave a Bible.
You can go buy a Bible andstart going through the Bible
and everything you're goingthrough right now.
You can highlight pretty muchthe whole Bible.
You're going through trialsabout anxiety.
Anxiety is in there.
You're going through, like youknow, losing a loved one it's in
there.
Grieving, it's in there.
Everything's in there.
So I'm like it's a book that'sbeen around for a very long time

(01:14:12):
and if it was a lie then I'mpretty sure somebody would have
been like you know people don'tkeep retelling lies for
centuries, you know.
So somebody at some point intime would have been like, hey,
that Bible's lie, we're going tothrow this thing out, let's
move on.
You know, it showed.
People talk about science andhistory.
I mean, I just learned this asan adult.

(01:14:32):
There is history, it's known asa fact.
There was a man named Jesus wholooked like what he looked like
and was six foot whatever andwas of the Jewish descent, and
there's no question about that.
What people question is was hethe Messiah, was he the son of
God?
Like that's what people argue,but there is proof.
There was a man in Jesus andall these things happened.

(01:14:53):
So for me, I'm like I getpassionate.
I'm like, yeah, dude, just askpeople, read about it, you know.
So that's what I try to do inmy life.
I know that I come off verypositive, but I have my days
where I need my group too.
You know I need my wife.

Speaker 2 (01:15:21):
I need my friends to kind of like get me out of that
rut of life and whatever else.
And as long as I remember thatI think it really does.
And you know from being, youknow, immigrating to the United
States, joining the Marine Corps, going through the things
you've been through, I meanyou're a true American, my
friend, and I really appreciateyou.

Speaker 3 (01:15:40):
I really appreciate you too, man, and thank you for
what you've done and for yourservice.
And thanks for the platform,man, because if it wasn't for
you, I wouldn't be able to sharemy story.
If it wasn't for people likeyou, other veterans and, you
know, people like us would nothave that outlet, you know.
So what you're doing isimportant, you know again, I'm

(01:16:00):
not trying to put or promotemyself out there, but you know,
if you want to listen to thepodcast, we have a podcast.
You know.
Another cop's mentality isanother guy who was in the Air
Force is the first sergeant.
He actually just got out.
Another cop's a, a policeofficer on a university police
um, and we just we're all threemarried, all three of us have
kids.
We all graduated the policeacademy together and we really
just talked about some of ourstruggles that we went through,

(01:16:22):
just like you and I are doing um.
So a lot of people really hatepodcasts or hated podcasts
because they're boring at times.
It's it's kind of if you're notgoing through things that we're
talking about right now, youhave no reason to be listening
to podcasts.
But this podcast is going to beup, you and I talking for
hopefully a very long time onSpotify, itunes, wherever they
can listen and whenever theyneed it, and they look up

(01:16:45):
anxiety, they look up outdoors,they look up whatever this is
going to be here for them, and Irealized that that's important
that our message might not beimportant right now and it might
not be important to somebodytomorrow or the next day or next
week or next month or next year.
I'm listening to Joe Rogan'sepisodes from like three years
ago just right now, you know.

(01:17:09):
So sometimes it's being patientand knowing that the message
that you're putting out theremight not be important to
somebody right now, you know,but I'm hoping that somebody
listens to this and goes.
I have a little faith, you know.
I gained a little bit of hopeknowing that there's two guys
right there that went throughdivorce, that were in the
military, that went throughtheir trials, and I'm sure that
when I start listening to yourpodcast, you have your story out
there, some of the thingsyou've been through.

Speaker 2 (01:17:25):
Oh yeah, no, it's, it's out there.
There's always more to come too, you know, because life never
stops and it's OK to share it,absolutely, absolutely.
So say again one more time whatyour podcast is Another.

Speaker 3 (01:17:36):
Cops Mentality.
It's on Spotify, apple Music,iheartradio, it's everywhere.
It's new.
We just started it like acouple of months ago, so there's
only like 12 episodes, butright now we're bringing on
first responders, military,their spouses, and we're also
getting a lot of people saying,hey, love your podcast, but not
enough females are putting theirperspective.

(01:17:57):
We'd love to hear that.
I'm like hell, yeah, I wouldlove to hear more females.
But unfortunately every personthat I reach out to is like, ah,
I don't really want to talk, Idon't want to do this.
So then what we did was likekind of forced our wives to come
on and talk.
So the first one was Angel'swife, and she talked about their
struggles like raising threechildren and one of them's in
college.
Now another one's going throughthis.
Then we brought my buddyBrian's wife, kara, who talked

(01:18:19):
about postpartum depression andsome of the things that she went
through with him going into thepolice department and how it
was impacting their marriage andhow they kind of gotten better
at it.
And I have a lot of other womenright now I'm just trying to
work out schedules where theywant to share their experience
from a world of a paramedic or apolice officer or some things

(01:18:39):
that they struggle with.
I have one of my good friends.
She just got done battlingcancer as she was graduating the
academy lost all her hair, andhow did she deal with that.
So these stories are reallyimportant number one because
they're therapeutic to theperson telling them, but they're
very helpful and a source of,you know, inspiration for the
people that are going throughthe same thing.
You know now or have gonethrough that, or can you know,

(01:19:03):
listen to somebody like that.
Talk in the future tense.

Speaker 2 (01:19:06):
I love it.
No, it's awesome.
So, yeah, check out his podcast.
If anyone wants to get a holdof you or talk about things in
the future with you, how canthey do that?

Speaker 3 (01:19:13):
Yeah, so they can reach out through the podcast
Instagram.
It's another hospitality, andmy personal Instagram is public.
I try to post stuff out therethat you know involves my
everyday life.
I don't really take just thegood pictures, you know, I take
some of my bad days too hey, Ihad a bad leg day, or I dealt
with this.
Or I try to post stories ofinspiration and things that I

(01:19:37):
see on social media that arepositive, because it's easy to
see negative stuff on socialmedia and for a long time I got
off of it.
I just kept deleting the appand getting back on it because
it is an addiction.
But I'm like man, there's somuch positive stuff out there
and I'm the one who's in chargeof what I see.
So I try to stop watching allthe negative stuff and start
looking at people's stories thatare, you know, going through
things and makes us better humanbeings.

(01:19:59):
So, um, my personal Instagramis just, uh, indeed, USMC.
So, uh, I'm sure you couldprobably tag it somewhere, but
they can just send us a messageor you know whatever, and I'm
sure at some point I'll postsomething too with our
interaction with your podcastAwesome.

Speaker 2 (01:20:16):
No, yeah, thank you for being here.
Thanks for taking time out ofyour day.
I know we have busy lives and Ireally do appreciate you taking
the time to speak with us andhopefully the listeners can go
and follow your podcast as well,and we look forward to speaking
with you more in the future andhopefully we can do some
follow-up podcasts in the futureand hopefully we can do some
follow podcasts in the future,dude.

Speaker 3 (01:20:33):
Thanks a lot, man.
I really appreciate.
God bless you and I hope thatthis uh this helps your uh, your
organization as well yeah,absolutely so for our listeners.

Speaker 2 (01:20:41):
Uh, again, this is matias ferreira.
He's a usr I'm sorry, a usmarine corps, sorry, almost
messed that up.
All good, a veteran that uh wasblown up while he was in
afghanistan as a police officerout in the New York area, and
very inspirational story.
But you know, as you can hearfrom him, that he has a journey
that he's been through and he'sfigured out what works for him
and also are all human and havedays that don't always work out

(01:21:03):
the way that we want to.
So but I just want to tell ourlisteners too, at the end of
your podcast, we do talk aboutthe fact that, you know, not all
of us are going to havepositive days and if you're
feeling that you're down, thereare many different avenues of
resources out there to get yourmental health assistance.
With our field staff here atHometown Hero Outdoors, we are
trained in Applied SuicideIntervention Skills Training,

(01:21:23):
which is also known as ASIST.
You can reach out to any of uson any of our platforms when it
comes to either being on ourwebsite or social media.
Reach out to us If you'rehaving a dark day, we'll help
you get through it.
We are not mental healthprofessionals, but we are a peer
support group that will helpyou.
However, we do have resourcesavailable to you or you can
reach out to 988-988, which is atext message and or a phone

(01:21:44):
call for the crisis line.
But for that, thank you again,matias, for being here and for
our listeners.
We will see you again next timeon the hometown hero outdoors
podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:21:53):
Thank you the hometown hero outdoors podcast
is sponsored by o'neill electric, the minnesota police and peace
officers association, andrelentless defender apparel.
Thank you for listening to thehometown hero outdoors podcast.
For more information, visit ourwebsite at
hometownherooutdoorsorg.

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