April 30, 2024 • 32 mins
Hood Chatter is Audio Therapy for the Everyday Person looking for truth, laughs and sarcasm, wrapped in common sense. FACTS: Friendly Advice, Culture, Truth and Sarcasm.
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Speaker 2 (00:00):
Yeah what up?
Ain't nobody got?
Speaker 1 (00:01):
time for that.
Hatch kids, hatch wife.
Yo, you good, yo, you are sucha liar.
Liar.
It's lit, let's go, and that'son Pivotal.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Hood Chatter.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Hey everybody and welcome to the premiere episode
of Hood Chatter.
I'm your host, doc J, and Iwant to thank you for sharing in
this experience.
This has really been a longtime in the making, so I'm
excited to take this journeytogether.
I really am.
Hood Chatter is audio therapyfor the everyday person, looking
(00:38):
for an outlet for truth, laughsand sarcasm wrapped in a little
bit of common sense.
So here you're going to getstraight facts, friendly advice,
culture, truth and sarcasm.
We're going to talk about someof the things that you think
about but you don't say out loud.
So throughout this season,we'll speak with guests from
various walks of life, ageranges and ethnic backgrounds.
(01:01):
Right, this podcast is going todiscuss life experiences and
situations with the comedictwist, and listeners will have
the opportunity to be a part ofthought-provoking questions and
comments related to a wide rangeof topics.
Okay, so again, my name is DocJ and PS, I do have a doctorate
degree from St John FisherUniversity, so who gonna check
(01:23):
me though?
All right, let's get into it.
I'm sorry.
So the first segment of today'sshow is something I like to call
, in my Shoes, right byprofession, I'm a life coach, so
some of my clients andconsultants have graciously
accepted my request for them toshare their stories with the
world in an effort to shed lighton different topics and bring
(01:44):
awareness to situations, inhopes that their experiences can
help someone else.
Right, you know what I'm sayingwhen you know better, you do
better.
So if you're interested insharing your story and receiving
some free advice, submit yourstories to thehoodchatter at
gmailcom Again, that'sthehoodchatter at gmailcom or
(02:04):
you can DM me at thehoodchatter.
All your submissions will begiven fictitious names to
protect anonymity, so you don'thave to worry about it.
Everything will be completelyconfidential.
So feel free to submit yourstories and I will try to share
them based on the topics thatwe're going to give for each
episode.
Ok, so with that, I did have aclient.
Her name is Sheila, and Sheilashared her story and I'm so
(02:27):
thankful that she did.
I decided to choose Sheila'sstory for today because it
really, you know, it's reallybeneficial, I do believe, and it
also kind of resonates with thetopic that we're going to go
into for the second segment.
So Sheila is a 50-year-oldbiracial woman from the Bronx
and this is her story.
I'm sorry, shout out to Law andOrder.
I couldn't help that.
(02:48):
I couldn't help that, I reallycouldn't.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Well, I had been married to my husband for 10
years now.
When we got together I was 27and he was 32.
Living the life of a hustler.
My man was making money, hetook EMF money and life was good
.
Hair, nails, trips, clothes,parties, you name it.
I had it.
(03:16):
Not only did I love theextravagant lifestyle, but I
also loved my man.
He made me laugh.
We had heart-to-heartconversations and I knew that he
loved me special, and hetreated his mother like gold, so
I knew he was a keeper.
Know what I'm saying.
After some breakups, off and onagain during my 30s, he proposed
to me in june of 2012.
I was 38 years old and I was sohappy words cannot describe
(03:36):
okay.
However, three months after usgetting engaged, he got arrested
for distribution and sentencedto 12 to 15 years in prison, but
I decided to marry him while hewas incarcerated in 2014.
I loved him and I wanted tohold him down.
I had that Rada Dab, bonnieClive mentality and I was fully
(03:58):
committed.
When we got married, he was ina facility that was two and a
half hours away from the Bronx.
I would spend my weekendstraveling up to see him, and so
we were able to get conjugalvisits and have a stated weekend
when we would play house okay.
But when we got married, I wasfinishing my bachelor's degree
and working at a fairly decentjob in a hospital, and my
(04:21):
husband and I we talked everyday.
I saw him two or three weekendsout of the month and his
friends and family still threwmoney my way on his behalf.
So I was good.
I went on to complete mymaster's degree and, most
recently, my doctorate degree.
Thank you very much.
And in the last few years, mydesire to be married is fleeting
(04:42):
.
I no longer feel the same way Idid in my 30s.
I'm 50 years old now and I needsomeone to spend my life with.
That is present.
I feel like I'm losing out onlife, but it breaks my heart
that I no longer want to bemarried to my husband.
However, not having someonearound to share my life with has
(05:02):
become problematic.
I broke the news to him lastweek that I wanted a divorce and
he was devastated, but he saidhe understood why I felt the way
I felt and he said he wants meto be happy.
So I don't think I'm doing thewrong thing, but we definitely
don't feel good about what I'mdoing.
I feel like I'm abandoning himand it breaks my heart because
(05:25):
you want him to be alone, butI'm definitely not happy in this
so-called marriage.
I'm scheduled to officially filefor divorce this week, so we'll
see.
But in the time he's been injail, he has gotten in trouble a
few times, but he has done well.
At this rate, his earliestpossible date for parole would
(05:47):
be 2025.
And I know that's only a yearaway.
But I haven't been happy for along time and I feel like if I
wait for him now to come home,I'm going to possibly resent him
for his restrictions withparole and how that affects the
relationship, and I'm reallyjust not the same person I was
when we got together.
So, dr J, can you tell me, am Idoing the right thing?
(06:11):
Like, should I have handledthis differently and do you
think I should try to maintain afriendship with him?
Like I still love him, but I nolonger want to be married to
him?
Please help, thank you.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Okay, sheila.
So I would first like to thankyou for taking the time to share
your story, right?
I appreciate the courage thatit took for you to be open and
completely honest and share yourstory right, because I know
that expressing yourself is notalways the easiest thing to do.
So let me start with.
Let me start with that, right?
(06:46):
Um, but to be honest with you,sheila, I can't tell you that
you're right, but I also can'ttell you that you're wrong
either.
You know what I'm saying.
Let me say this If you're notgood to you, you can't be good
to anyone, right?
And there's nothing wrong withchoosing you, and let me stop
and say that to everybody.
There is nothing wrong withchoosing you.
(07:08):
Everybody wants to be happy.
You know what I'm saying.
People grow and evolve andrelationships grow and evolve,
but that happens together.
So I can understand yourfrustration, right?
Also, as we get older, ourpriorities and what matters to
us changes, so I can empathizewith what you're going through,
right?
However, I have some questionsfor you to digest, in hopes that
(07:32):
they might help shed light onsome of the things that you're
feeling, as it is related to youtransitioning into the next
phase of your life right Withthat.
I will ask you are youcurrently dating and did this
play a part in your decision toget divorced, like you know?
Is this someone that'scurrently piquing your interest?
(07:53):
Or, you know, are you alreadyseeing somebody?
Because if you're already doingyou, then this dialogue is
unnecessary because you'vealready moved on right.
However, if this is reallycoming from a place of emotional
growth and maturity, then Iapplaud your courage to admit
the fact that you're ready toleave right, because it's not
(08:15):
easy to walk away and a lot ofpeople end up staying together
because it's so hard to saygoodbye.
Essentially right.
So kudos to you for doing that,because not speaking, your
truth could end up manifestingitself in different ways and you
know you end up becomingdepressed, you have anxiety and
all that, all those kinds ofthings.
(08:35):
So kudos for you to beinghonest, to the fact that you
know it's time to exit stageleft.
As far as being friends isconcerned, I can't really answer
that for you.
You know you would first haveto see if he would even be okay
with considering being friendswith you.
You know.
After that, in addition, youwould have to see whether or not
(08:57):
you're dating now or whether ornot you plan on dating and how
that will work in conjunctionwith your new relationship,
because I can't imagine that anew mate might really want to be
okay with the fact that youstill have a friendship or an
open relationship with yoursoon-to-be ex-husband.
You know what I mean.
Based on your submission, itdoesn't seem like you guys have
(09:19):
any kids, which would really bethe only reason to justify you
still maintaining a relationshipwith him after you guys have
gotten a divorce.
So, um, it might not be thebest move for a successful
relationship in the future witha new partner for you to
maintain a friendship with yourex-husband, but that's also
something that you would have totease out between you.
(09:41):
Know the two of you Further, Iwould say, if you decided to
ride it out and stay married,you know, and give it a fair
shot, do you feel like you guyseven have anything in common
anymore?
You know, not only has timepassed and life has changed
(10:02):
drastically in the last 10 years, you know, with technological
advances, if nothing else, butyou also have obtained some
degrees since your marriagebegan.
So, mentally, you no longerthink the same and the things
that piqued your interest before, I would imagine, are a lot
different than they were in thepast.
(10:23):
So, sheila, I hope some of thishas helped you.
I wish you all the best in yourfuture endeavors and I pray
that you get everything thatyou're looking for in your life
and in your future relationships.
But I will say this goingforward take time to check in
with yourself and assess what itis that you need from yourself
and for yourself right Now.
(10:44):
Let me stop there, because thisis a PSA for my young girls.
Fellas, take heed to this too,because women get locked up too,
but this is also something thatusually happens to women.
So, specifically for my younggirls, this is a PSA, right?
Young girl, think carefullybefore you agree to do a bid
with a man, right?
Even though you might have thebest intentions at heart, it
(11:09):
might be better for both of youto weigh out the pros and cons
and see exactly how this isgoing to play out.
Making such a big decision andlet me tell you something do not
be pressured into doingsomething that you're not sure
about.
Okay, don't get caught up inthe.
If you love me, you'll staywith me, or how could you do
(11:29):
this to me?
You got to hold me down.
Don't let nobody guilt trip youinto doing anything that you're
not a hundred percent sureabout.
You have to really weigh outthe pros and cons on what that
looks like for you Right Now.
There are some women that havethe capacity to hold a man down
through his bid and be just finewith that, and if that's for
(11:49):
you, that's just fine, right.
But for the vast majority ofpeople that find themselves in
that type of situation, eventhough they have the best
intentions, they don't reallyunderstand what it means to put
your life completely on hold forsomebody else.
Right and I know fellas thateither have been to jail and
(12:11):
been through this situation, orsomebody that might be listening
on his way to do a bid might besaying, oh well, she knew
exactly what she was gettinginto when she signed up for this
shit.
Yeah, I can agree with that too.
However, we change our mindsabout 10 times while we're at
the drive-thru at Burger King,so you can't really necessarily
(12:33):
say that you're surprised thatthis woman is in a different
phase of her life.
Before you make that commitment, you have to really see what
that looks like for you, right,because we have one life and we
got to live it.
Everybody wants to be happy andyou have to figure out what
happiness looks like for you andthen make that informed
decision Right.
The worst thing that you coulddo is settle for less than you
(12:56):
deserve, and let me say that toeverybody here that the worst
thing you can do is settle forless than you deserve.
Ok, know your worth and thenlive in that space.
So, don't settle for less thanyou deserve.
Know your worth and live inthat space.
Here's a message from mysponsor.
We'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
When we come on the talk to need someone to listen,
looking for clarity and strategy, reach out to the Turnaround
Project.
Our life coaches are here tohelp you on your journey to
getting better, doing better andbeing better.
(13:39):
Turnaround Project Helpingindividuals learn to help
themselves.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
All right, that was the Turnaround Project.
They can be reached atwwwlivetaporg that's
wwwlivetaporg.
Or on all social media, atlivetap underscore org.
That's livetap underscore org.
Yeah, we on to the next one, weon to the next one.
(14:07):
So this brings us to today'stopic, which is cheating 101,
right?
So here's some questions andthoughts that I have that I want
to leave with you, and I'mgoing to post these questions
online.
So feel free to write yourresponses in the comments and
then I'll try to recap them,some of them when we come back
next time.
Right, dependent on whichquestions get the most responses
, then I'll try to recap them,some of them when we come back
next time.
Right, dependent on whichquestions get the most responses
(14:30):
, then I'll go ahead and try torecap some of them when I come
back.
Right Now, these questions andsome of these things that I'm
going to tease out to you, Ibring them up in my various
group coaching sessions.
So, trust me, I test thesequestions out in front of
various groups before I decideto bring them live to you guys
and, believe me, they will wakeup a room.
(14:53):
These are questions that aregeared towards personal growth,
self-growth, and questions thatare geared towards relationship
growth and intimacy growth withyour partner.
So, just as an addendum to whatwe just heard from Sheila, let
me ask you this Do you thinkthat it should be a deal breaker
(15:16):
if you cheat on your partner,if they're incarcerated?
Now, if you're married,cheating is cheating and that
just is what it is right.
But, based on what we were justtalking about in the last
segment, a woman has to berealistic when she's made that
(15:37):
decision that, yes, yourintentions are to hold him down
and stay with him, but doesstaying with him mean that you
don't have a physicalrelationship with someone else
or other people?
Because, in all actuality, ifyou're really real with yourself
, everybody has needs anddesires and that has to be
manifested in some way, shape orform.
(15:58):
Now, I know the man that'sincarcerated.
He has the best hopes as well,but in the back of his mind he
has to be realistic to the factas well that she might be doing
her from time to time, becausein a duration of a bid, life
happens and people have wantsand needs.
And you know, in this day andage, with social media and
(16:19):
people going to the club and youknow, little alcohol to set the
third, little alcohol to setthe third.
So chew on that.
Do you think that if you cheaton somebody while they're
incarcerated, should that be ayou know, be all end all for
your relationship?
My next question would be and Iknow that this is going to be
(16:42):
one of the questions that getsgood comments, so I can
definitely guarantee that thiswill be one of the questions
that gets good comments, so Ican definitely guarantee that
this will be one of the onesthat we recap on our next time
together.
So, do you feel it's okay to gothrough your significant other's
cell phone without permission?
Exactly that look on your face.
Exactly Do you think it's okayto go through your significant
(17:04):
other's cell phone withoutpermission?
Now, this is my take on it,right?
Do you pay the bill?
That's my first question.
Do you pay the bill?
Because, if you don't pay thebill, explain to me what it is
that you're doing going throughmy phone.
(17:25):
That's like you taking mywallet and then going through my
wallet For what?
Explain to me what you're doingthis for if you're not paying
the bill.
That's the first thing.
The second thing becomes do youreally want to know?
Because if you feel like youhave to grab somebody's phone
and start going through theirtexts and their DMs and
(17:47):
Snapchats or what have you, thenthat means that you already
know something, or you think youknow something, in which case
you're wasting your time.
There is no reason that youshould be dealing with somebody.
If you feel like you have to gothrough that phone, right,
that's the next thing.
Then what if somebody did thatto you?
(18:09):
Like when you pick upsomebody's phone and decide that
you want to start tamperingwith it, the flip coin is what
if they were doing that to you?
Nine times out of 10, theperson's in the bathroom or they
sleep.
So if somebody did that to you,you would be absolutely furious
.
Now I know there's somebodylistening to this right now like
(18:29):
, fuck that I'm going throughhis come on, come on, be real
with it, Because if somebodyelse did that to you, it would
be a certified problem.
So answer that honestly andtruthfully.
Put it in the comments.
Let's see what we come up withNow.
Do you consider flirting whilein a relationship cheating?
(18:50):
Right Now, for me, this becomesare you a friendly person or a
flirtatious person?
Because there are some peoplethat are genuinely friendly
people and their friendliness ortheir kindness can be
misconstrued as flirtatious,right?
However, are you going out withsomebody on a date and every
(19:15):
time you go out you notice thatthey're giving somebody the side
eye or the extra smile orsomething like that?
Because if that's the case,then that means that you're in a
relationship and they're not.
You might want to reevaluatewhat's going on there.
Now, don't get me wrong.
I'm not talking about theblanket Fellas.
(19:36):
Go out with their boys.
They're going to spend a coupleof dollars buying some girls
some drinks, maybe get a littletwerk session.
I didn't say take her home.
I said get a little twerksession.
Ladies, it's the same thing.
You want to feel cute?
Get your hair, did nails, dideverything, did go out.
Let some dudes buy you somedrinks.
After a couple of drinks youmight be the one giving the
twerk session.
I didn't say going home, but Isaid the twerk session.
(20:00):
But I'm not talking about thatkind of flirting.
I'm talking about date nightflirting, where you're sitting
down at the dinner table, you'regoing out with your man or your
girl and somebody always gotthe side eye or the extra smile
or something like that.
Do you consider that cheatingMe?
Personally I do.
There's no reason in the worldthat you should be with someone
(20:20):
and they're not present.
So if flirting is your thing,you might want to really know
who it is that you're dealingwith, because that can get real
messy real fast.
So that leads me to my nextquestion, and this is the other
question that I can almostguarantee that is going to get
the most comments, because whenthis came up in my most recent
(20:44):
group um group this went on forabout good 30, 45 minutes, right
?
The question is is it okay towatch porn while you're in a
relationship?
Again, is it okay to watch pornwhile you're in a relationship?
Now, let me say this Mostpeople I'm not going to say most
people, some people are goingto say no, and that's because,
(21:09):
as individuals, even when we'rein a relationship, we tend to be
very shy and skittish aboutwhat we tell our partner that we
like sexually, about what wetell our partner that we like
sexually, because we're afraidof being judged based on
whatever their meter is of whatthey think is normal or what
they think is freaky and outsideof the box, right.
However, for me personally,I'll say that I don't have a
(21:32):
problem with it at all.
I think that it definitelydepends on your partner and it
depends on what you're into.
You know, that might not besomething that you do in the
beginning of the relationship orin the beginning of dating, but
once you start to learn theperson that you're involved with
, it can be very beneficial anda good additive to your bedroom
(21:53):
and your late night escapades.
You know what I'm saying.
Some relationships end becausethings get stagnant, things get
dry and you don't know how tonecessarily reinvent the wheel.
And that might be a way for youto, you know, recreate your
bedroom and develop some thingsabout yourself or learn some
things about yourself that youmight not have known or expected
(22:15):
and, you know, ultimately spiceup your relationship.
So what I will say is that Iwouldn't just 100 right at all,
but I will say, oh, your partner, okay, because if you are
messing with a basic or youmessing with a basic, then that
means that you should bewatching together basic porn.
(22:35):
If you interested in gettingchoked out on some borderline bd
, then you might want to savethat for your own time, because
you put on the wrong thing infront of the right or the wrong
person and that could be a dealbreaker for the night or for the
whole relationship.
So know your partner, let mesay that.
(22:57):
But I will say don't write itoff, because it could definitely
make a difference With that.
This is very.
The next question is veryindividual and you have to
internalize this.
This is not necessarilysomething that you know.
You could talk about it withyour friends, but this is not
necessarily a group question.
This is something more that'sinternalized for
self-development.
(23:18):
So how has your parents'relationship or do you feel that
your parents' relationship oryour family dynamic growing up
impacted your love life or theway that you deal with or seek
out the relationships thatyou're in?
Do you find that you attract,you know, your mother or your
father?
Or, you know, do you find anysimilarities on how you interact
(23:39):
with your relationships or thepeople that you're looking to
date now, in conjunction to whatyou saw growing up?
And the reason that I bring thisup is because we don't always
realize how things affect us inthe future.
You know, we always say growingup, I'm not going to be
anything like my parents or I'mnot going to do this, and then
we find that we get older,unconsciously, we start saying
(24:02):
things that they said and wehave gestures and mannerisms
that they had, and we're tryingto figure out.
How the hell did we even end uphere?
So just chew on that and see ifyour family dynamic had any
play on how you deal with yourrelationships now and see if
maybe there's something that youcan identify along the way
where you can see well, this iswhere I'm going right and maybe
(24:25):
this is where I need to dosomething a little different.
And maybe this is how you canidentify how you keep ending up
in repetitive things, or youknow the same cycles over and
over again, and you can figureout how to make the necessary
changes changes and, like I said, see where you're going right
and see where you might be.
Uh, might need some room forimprovement.
(24:48):
Um, the final question that I'mgoing to leave you with is how
long do you think a coupleshould date before becoming
official?
Most people I talk to saidthree to six months.
It's kind of you know shit orget off the pot.
But then other people you knowit kind of depends on the age
(25:09):
range, your culture, what you'reaccustomed to.
So throw that around at thetable.
Ladies, this is what I'm goingto tell you when you at you know
dinner or brunch with yourgirlfriends and this situation
comes up.
This is what's going to happen.
The question is going to come upand then everybody's going to
start looking around at eachother like this, to see who
gives what answer and seeswhat's socially acceptable,
(25:30):
right?
So, like I said, the most thatI hear is three to six months.
Then I also hear the oh well, Iknow right off the bat whether
or not I'm a developer.
No, keep it 100.
Nobody knows in the first 30days whether or not they want to
be with somebody and developsomething and make it official.
So let's be honest.
(25:51):
Then I do hear the responses iswell, I don't know what's going
on unless we have sex first,because if the sex is not good,
then it's absolutely no way thatI'm developing it into
something else.
So see what this comes up whenyou bring it up.
When I brought this up in frontof the fellas this, some of the
responses I got was yeah, well,I know within the first three
(26:11):
months whether or not I want toinvest time in shorty, and sex
definitely does play a part inwhether or not we're going to
develop anything, and whether ornot we're compatible does play
a part in whether or not we'regoing to develop anything and
whether or not we're compatible.
And this came up and ladiesthis might surprise you, but
this is definitely the case.
Guys treat you according to theway that you treat yourself and
(26:32):
whether or not you thinkthey're paying attention.
They are.
So, whatever energy that you'relooking for, whatever you're
looking for, that might be theenergy that you want to put out,
because a dude is going totreat you how you treat yourself
, carry yourself accordingly,govern yourself accordingly.
Okay, so I'm going to postthese online, put your comments
(26:57):
in there, let's see what we comeup with, and believe me when I
tell you you're going to getsome good responses out of this.
Yeah, we are doing that.
So we on to the next one.
This brings us to our third andfinal segment for today, and
this is something that I like tocall table talk.
Now, the last segment werequestions that were geared
towards self-development,personal growth, relationship
(27:18):
growth, intimacy, growth.
Um, this is just a scenariothat's just sheer fun.
That's really what it is.
It's just sheer fun, and I'mgoing to pose a scenario that I
want you to talk about with yourfriends.
This is another at brunchsituation or your next little
outing.
You know whatever comes up andlet's hear the responses,
(27:38):
because it is going toabsolutely turn the room up
Right Now.
Bear in mind, before I offertoday's question in order for
this to work, you have to keepthis in general terms and be
completely objective.
Let me stick something rightthere, too.
This is a conversation thatfellas you have with your boys,
(28:00):
you have with your boys, ladiesyou have with your girls.
Do not have this conversationwith your significant other.
It is just going to be messyand lead to a bunch of
unnecessary conversations abouta fictitious scenario that you
heard on a podcast and don'tblame me for you having a messy
night.
Do not have this conversationwith your night.
(28:21):
Do not have this conversationwith your man.
Don't have this conversationwith your girl.
If you do, you're on your ownPeriod.
Now.
Make your responses asobjective as possible, okay.
Do not make your responsespersonal.
Do not think of a specificperson.
You have to make your responsesin a general term.
Right.
This definitely is going totake up a good 45 minutes to an
(28:44):
hour of your conversation, soget ready for it.
Right.
Here we go.
Your spouse dies.
Pick up your face, it getsbetter.
Your spouse dies.
Ten years later, you decide toremarry.
Is it okay to marry yoursibling?
Pick up your face, I know, Iknow.
(29:04):
I know.
Don't personalize this, becauseif you do, the first thing
that's going to happen is hell.
No, my brother-in-law, jeffrey,is ugly and oh my God, I can't
think of him like that.
Or, oh hell, no, I ain'tmessing with my sister, my girl
sister.
Don't do that.
This is a general termsquestion.
(29:25):
Let me know what you think.
Right Now, some of theresponses that I got were
absolutely hilarious, right, oneof my girlfriends.
I don't even know how shequeued up her phone so quick.
But the second I finished thequestion, old girl was like she
queued up her phone so quick,but the second.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
I finished the question.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Old girl was like when I tell you I was laughing
so hard it didn't even make anysense, right.
Once we got over the jokes, theconsensus was really hell, no
for most people.
Then other people said well,you know what?
I could understand how somepeople end up falling into the
arms of the person thatcomforted them.
And then the question alsobecomes OK, well, is there a
(30:09):
cultural aspect to that?
Because somebody did offer acultural response and basically
said you know, in his culture itmight be customary for somebody
to take on that sibling, forwhatever reason.
So chew on that, right.
I'm going to add to that andsay does it matter if the person
(30:29):
is a twin?
I know I'm playing myself,right, but does it matter if the
person is a twin?
Now this becomes a real stickysituation if there's children
involved, because then you haveto explain to your kid why uncle
and aunt such and such is nowstep or step um.
So that makes a big differencein how this plays out.
(30:53):
But throw this around, see whatyou come up with.
I'm telling you, it'sabsolutely hilarious to hear the
responses and you would besurprised.
You think that you knowsomebody.
You think that's your man orthat's your girl and you know
them, you would be verysurprised to hear the response
that they give.
Okay.
So, like I said, throw thesearound.
(31:14):
I promise you they're going tobe good, good, good, good, good,
good.
Try these out.
I don't know where you work, soyou might not want to try them
out at work because I don't wantyou to get written up for two
months laughing.
But you know, try this out andsee what you come up with With
that.
That's it for today.
You guys, I had a lot of funand I hope you enjoyed today's
(31:34):
experience.
We will be back every Thursday,so you can find us on any
platform that you listen to yourpodcast and follow us on social
media at the hood chatter, andthat's on Facebook, tiktok and
YouTube.
That's at the hood chatter.
And remember to tell a friend,to tell a friend and until next
(31:54):
time, learn to accept theapology.
You never get See.
You never get.
See you later, guys.
Yeah what up?
Ain't nobody got?
Speaker 1 (00:01):
time for that.
Hatch kids, hatch wife.
Yo, you good, yo, you are sucha liar.
Liar.
It's lit, let's go, and that'son Pivotal.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Hood Chatter.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Hey everybody and welcome to the premiere episode
of Hood Chatter.
I'm your host, doc J, and Iwant to thank you for sharing in
this experience.
This has really been a longtime in the making, so I'm
excited to take this journeytogether.
I really am.
Hood Chatter is audio therapyfor the everyday person, looking
(00:38):
for an outlet for truth, laughsand sarcasm wrapped in a little
bit of common sense.
So here you're going to getstraight facts, friendly advice,
culture, truth and sarcasm.
We're going to talk about someof the things that you think
about but you don't say out loud.
So throughout this season,we'll speak with guests from
various walks of life, ageranges and ethnic backgrounds.
(01:01):
Right, this podcast is going todiscuss life experiences and
situations with the comedictwist, and listeners will have
the opportunity to be a part ofthought-provoking questions and
comments related to a wide rangeof topics.
Okay, so again, my name is DocJ and PS, I do have a doctorate
degree from St John FisherUniversity, so who gonna check
(01:23):
me though?
All right, let's get into it.
I'm sorry.
So the first segment of today'sshow is something I like to call
, in my Shoes, right byprofession, I'm a life coach, so
some of my clients andconsultants have graciously
accepted my request for them toshare their stories with the
world in an effort to shed lighton different topics and bring
(01:44):
awareness to situations, inhopes that their experiences can
help someone else.
Right, you know what I'm sayingwhen you know better, you do
better.
So if you're interested insharing your story and receiving
some free advice, submit yourstories to thehoodchatter at
gmailcom Again, that'sthehoodchatter at gmailcom or
(02:04):
you can DM me at thehoodchatter.
All your submissions will begiven fictitious names to
protect anonymity, so you don'thave to worry about it.
Everything will be completelyconfidential.
So feel free to submit yourstories and I will try to share
them based on the topics thatwe're going to give for each
episode.
Ok, so with that, I did have aclient.
Her name is Sheila, and Sheilashared her story and I'm so
(02:27):
thankful that she did.
I decided to choose Sheila'sstory for today because it
really, you know, it's reallybeneficial, I do believe, and it
also kind of resonates with thetopic that we're going to go
into for the second segment.
So Sheila is a 50-year-oldbiracial woman from the Bronx
and this is her story.
I'm sorry, shout out to Law andOrder.
I couldn't help that.
(02:48):
I couldn't help that, I reallycouldn't.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Well, I had been married to my husband for 10
years now.
When we got together I was 27and he was 32.
Living the life of a hustler.
My man was making money, hetook EMF money and life was good
.
Hair, nails, trips, clothes,parties, you name it.
I had it.
(03:16):
Not only did I love theextravagant lifestyle, but I
also loved my man.
He made me laugh.
We had heart-to-heartconversations and I knew that he
loved me special, and hetreated his mother like gold, so
I knew he was a keeper.
Know what I'm saying.
After some breakups, off and onagain during my 30s, he proposed
to me in june of 2012.
I was 38 years old and I was sohappy words cannot describe
(03:36):
okay.
However, three months after usgetting engaged, he got arrested
for distribution and sentencedto 12 to 15 years in prison, but
I decided to marry him while hewas incarcerated in 2014.
I loved him and I wanted tohold him down.
I had that Rada Dab, bonnieClive mentality and I was fully
(03:58):
committed.
When we got married, he was ina facility that was two and a
half hours away from the Bronx.
I would spend my weekendstraveling up to see him, and so
we were able to get conjugalvisits and have a stated weekend
when we would play house okay.
But when we got married, I wasfinishing my bachelor's degree
and working at a fairly decentjob in a hospital, and my
(04:21):
husband and I we talked everyday.
I saw him two or three weekendsout of the month and his
friends and family still threwmoney my way on his behalf.
So I was good.
I went on to complete mymaster's degree and, most
recently, my doctorate degree.
Thank you very much.
And in the last few years, mydesire to be married is fleeting
(04:42):
.
I no longer feel the same way Idid in my 30s.
I'm 50 years old now and I needsomeone to spend my life with.
That is present.
I feel like I'm losing out onlife, but it breaks my heart
that I no longer want to bemarried to my husband.
However, not having someonearound to share my life with has
(05:02):
become problematic.
I broke the news to him lastweek that I wanted a divorce and
he was devastated, but he saidhe understood why I felt the way
I felt and he said he wants meto be happy.
So I don't think I'm doing thewrong thing, but we definitely
don't feel good about what I'mdoing.
I feel like I'm abandoning himand it breaks my heart because
(05:25):
you want him to be alone, butI'm definitely not happy in this
so-called marriage.
I'm scheduled to officially filefor divorce this week, so we'll
see.
But in the time he's been injail, he has gotten in trouble a
few times, but he has done well.
At this rate, his earliestpossible date for parole would
(05:47):
be 2025.
And I know that's only a yearaway.
But I haven't been happy for along time and I feel like if I
wait for him now to come home,I'm going to possibly resent him
for his restrictions withparole and how that affects the
relationship, and I'm reallyjust not the same person I was
when we got together.
So, dr J, can you tell me, am Idoing the right thing?
(06:11):
Like, should I have handledthis differently and do you
think I should try to maintain afriendship with him?
Like I still love him, but I nolonger want to be married to
him?
Please help, thank you.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Okay, sheila.
So I would first like to thankyou for taking the time to share
your story, right?
I appreciate the courage thatit took for you to be open and
completely honest and share yourstory right, because I know
that expressing yourself is notalways the easiest thing to do.
So let me start with.
Let me start with that, right?
(06:46):
Um, but to be honest with you,sheila, I can't tell you that
you're right, but I also can'ttell you that you're wrong
either.
You know what I'm saying.
Let me say this If you're notgood to you, you can't be good
to anyone, right?
And there's nothing wrong withchoosing you, and let me stop
and say that to everybody.
There is nothing wrong withchoosing you.
(07:08):
Everybody wants to be happy.
You know what I'm saying.
People grow and evolve andrelationships grow and evolve,
but that happens together.
So I can understand yourfrustration, right?
Also, as we get older, ourpriorities and what matters to
us changes, so I can empathizewith what you're going through,
right?
However, I have some questionsfor you to digest, in hopes that
(07:32):
they might help shed light onsome of the things that you're
feeling, as it is related to youtransitioning into the next
phase of your life right Withthat.
I will ask you are youcurrently dating and did this
play a part in your decision toget divorced, like you know?
Is this someone that'scurrently piquing your interest?
(07:53):
Or, you know, are you alreadyseeing somebody?
Because if you're already doingyou, then this dialogue is
unnecessary because you'vealready moved on right.
However, if this is reallycoming from a place of emotional
growth and maturity, then Iapplaud your courage to admit
the fact that you're ready toleave right, because it's not
(08:15):
easy to walk away and a lot ofpeople end up staying together
because it's so hard to saygoodbye.
Essentially right.
So kudos to you for doing that,because not speaking, your
truth could end up manifestingitself in different ways and you
know you end up becomingdepressed, you have anxiety and
all that, all those kinds ofthings.
(08:35):
So kudos for you to beinghonest, to the fact that you
know it's time to exit stageleft.
As far as being friends isconcerned, I can't really answer
that for you.
You know you would first haveto see if he would even be okay
with considering being friendswith you.
You know.
After that, in addition, youwould have to see whether or not
(08:57):
you're dating now or whether ornot you plan on dating and how
that will work in conjunctionwith your new relationship,
because I can't imagine that anew mate might really want to be
okay with the fact that youstill have a friendship or an
open relationship with yoursoon-to-be ex-husband.
You know what I mean.
Based on your submission, itdoesn't seem like you guys have
(09:19):
any kids, which would really bethe only reason to justify you
still maintaining a relationshipwith him after you guys have
gotten a divorce.
So, um, it might not be thebest move for a successful
relationship in the future witha new partner for you to
maintain a friendship with yourex-husband, but that's also
something that you would have totease out between you.
(09:41):
Know the two of you Further, Iwould say, if you decided to
ride it out and stay married,you know, and give it a fair
shot, do you feel like you guyseven have anything in common
anymore?
You know, not only has timepassed and life has changed
(10:02):
drastically in the last 10 years, you know, with technological
advances, if nothing else, butyou also have obtained some
degrees since your marriagebegan.
So, mentally, you no longerthink the same and the things
that piqued your interest before, I would imagine, are a lot
different than they were in thepast.
(10:23):
So, sheila, I hope some of thishas helped you.
I wish you all the best in yourfuture endeavors and I pray
that you get everything thatyou're looking for in your life
and in your future relationships.
But I will say this goingforward take time to check in
with yourself and assess what itis that you need from yourself
and for yourself right Now.
(10:44):
Let me stop there, because thisis a PSA for my young girls.
Fellas, take heed to this too,because women get locked up too,
but this is also something thatusually happens to women.
So, specifically for my younggirls, this is a PSA, right?
Young girl, think carefullybefore you agree to do a bid
with a man, right?
Even though you might have thebest intentions at heart, it
(11:09):
might be better for both of youto weigh out the pros and cons
and see exactly how this isgoing to play out.
Making such a big decision andlet me tell you something do not
be pressured into doingsomething that you're not sure
about.
Okay, don't get caught up inthe.
If you love me, you'll staywith me, or how could you do
(11:29):
this to me?
You got to hold me down.
Don't let nobody guilt trip youinto doing anything that you're
not a hundred percent sureabout.
You have to really weigh outthe pros and cons on what that
looks like for you Right Now.
There are some women that havethe capacity to hold a man down
through his bid and be just finewith that, and if that's for
(11:49):
you, that's just fine, right.
But for the vast majority ofpeople that find themselves in
that type of situation, eventhough they have the best
intentions, they don't reallyunderstand what it means to put
your life completely on hold forsomebody else.
Right and I know fellas thateither have been to jail and
(12:11):
been through this situation, orsomebody that might be listening
on his way to do a bid might besaying, oh well, she knew
exactly what she was gettinginto when she signed up for this
shit.
Yeah, I can agree with that too.
However, we change our mindsabout 10 times while we're at
the drive-thru at Burger King,so you can't really necessarily
(12:33):
say that you're surprised thatthis woman is in a different
phase of her life.
Before you make that commitment, you have to really see what
that looks like for you, right,because we have one life and we
got to live it.
Everybody wants to be happy andyou have to figure out what
happiness looks like for you andthen make that informed
decision Right.
The worst thing that you coulddo is settle for less than you
(12:56):
deserve, and let me say that toeverybody here that the worst
thing you can do is settle forless than you deserve.
Ok, know your worth and thenlive in that space.
So, don't settle for less thanyou deserve.
Know your worth and live inthat space.
Here's a message from mysponsor.
We'll be right back.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
When we come on the talk to need someone to listen,
looking for clarity and strategy, reach out to the Turnaround
Project.
Our life coaches are here tohelp you on your journey to
getting better, doing better andbeing better.
(13:39):
Turnaround Project Helpingindividuals learn to help
themselves.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
All right, that was the Turnaround Project.
They can be reached atwwwlivetaporg that's
wwwlivetaporg.
Or on all social media, atlivetap underscore org.
That's livetap underscore org.
Yeah, we on to the next one, weon to the next one.
(14:07):
So this brings us to today'stopic, which is cheating 101,
right?
So here's some questions andthoughts that I have that I want
to leave with you, and I'mgoing to post these questions
online.
So feel free to write yourresponses in the comments and
then I'll try to recap them,some of them when we come back
next time.
Right, dependent on whichquestions get the most responses
, then I'll try to recap them,some of them when we come back
next time.
Right, dependent on whichquestions get the most responses
(14:30):
, then I'll go ahead and try torecap some of them when I come
back.
Right Now, these questions andsome of these things that I'm
going to tease out to you, Ibring them up in my various
group coaching sessions.
So, trust me, I test thesequestions out in front of
various groups before I decideto bring them live to you guys
and, believe me, they will wakeup a room.
(14:53):
These are questions that aregeared towards personal growth,
self-growth, and questions thatare geared towards relationship
growth and intimacy growth withyour partner.
So, just as an addendum to whatwe just heard from Sheila, let
me ask you this Do you thinkthat it should be a deal breaker
(15:16):
if you cheat on your partner,if they're incarcerated?
Now, if you're married,cheating is cheating and that
just is what it is right.
But, based on what we were justtalking about in the last
segment, a woman has to berealistic when she's made that
(15:37):
decision that, yes, yourintentions are to hold him down
and stay with him, but doesstaying with him mean that you
don't have a physicalrelationship with someone else
or other people?
Because, in all actuality, ifyou're really real with yourself
, everybody has needs anddesires and that has to be
manifested in some way, shape orform.
(15:58):
Now, I know the man that'sincarcerated.
He has the best hopes as well,but in the back of his mind he
has to be realistic to the factas well that she might be doing
her from time to time, becausein a duration of a bid, life
happens and people have wantsand needs.
And you know, in this day andage, with social media and
(16:19):
people going to the club and youknow, little alcohol to set the
third, little alcohol to setthe third.
So chew on that.
Do you think that if you cheaton somebody while they're
incarcerated, should that be ayou know, be all end all for
your relationship?
My next question would be and Iknow that this is going to be
(16:42):
one of the questions that getsgood comments, so I can
definitely guarantee that thiswill be one of the questions
that gets good comments, so Ican definitely guarantee that
this will be one of the onesthat we recap on our next time
together.
So, do you feel it's okay to gothrough your significant other's
cell phone without permission?
Exactly that look on your face.
Exactly Do you think it's okayto go through your significant
(17:04):
other's cell phone withoutpermission?
Now, this is my take on it,right?
Do you pay the bill?
That's my first question.
Do you pay the bill?
Because, if you don't pay thebill, explain to me what it is
that you're doing going throughmy phone.
(17:25):
That's like you taking mywallet and then going through my
wallet For what?
Explain to me what you're doingthis for if you're not paying
the bill.
That's the first thing.
The second thing becomes do youreally want to know?
Because if you feel like youhave to grab somebody's phone
and start going through theirtexts and their DMs and
(17:47):
Snapchats or what have you, thenthat means that you already
know something, or you think youknow something, in which case
you're wasting your time.
There is no reason that youshould be dealing with somebody.
If you feel like you have to gothrough that phone, right,
that's the next thing.
Then what if somebody did thatto you?
(18:09):
Like when you pick upsomebody's phone and decide that
you want to start tamperingwith it, the flip coin is what
if they were doing that to you?
Nine times out of 10, theperson's in the bathroom or they
sleep.
So if somebody did that to you,you would be absolutely furious
.
Now I know there's somebodylistening to this right now like
(18:29):
, fuck that I'm going throughhis come on, come on, be real
with it, Because if somebodyelse did that to you, it would
be a certified problem.
So answer that honestly andtruthfully.
Put it in the comments.
Let's see what we come up withNow.
Do you consider flirting whilein a relationship cheating?
(18:50):
Right Now, for me, this becomesare you a friendly person or a
flirtatious person?
Because there are some peoplethat are genuinely friendly
people and their friendliness ortheir kindness can be
misconstrued as flirtatious,right?
However, are you going out withsomebody on a date and every
(19:15):
time you go out you notice thatthey're giving somebody the side
eye or the extra smile orsomething like that?
Because if that's the case,then that means that you're in a
relationship and they're not.
You might want to reevaluatewhat's going on there.
Now, don't get me wrong.
I'm not talking about theblanket Fellas.
(19:36):
Go out with their boys.
They're going to spend a coupleof dollars buying some girls
some drinks, maybe get a littletwerk session.
I didn't say take her home.
I said get a little twerksession.
Ladies, it's the same thing.
You want to feel cute?
Get your hair, did nails, dideverything, did go out.
Let some dudes buy you somedrinks.
After a couple of drinks youmight be the one giving the
twerk session.
I didn't say going home, but Isaid the twerk session.
(20:00):
But I'm not talking about thatkind of flirting.
I'm talking about date nightflirting, where you're sitting
down at the dinner table, you'regoing out with your man or your
girl and somebody always gotthe side eye or the extra smile
or something like that.
Do you consider that cheatingMe?
Personally I do.
There's no reason in the worldthat you should be with someone
(20:20):
and they're not present.
So if flirting is your thing,you might want to really know
who it is that you're dealingwith, because that can get real
messy real fast.
So that leads me to my nextquestion, and this is the other
question that I can almostguarantee that is going to get
the most comments, because whenthis came up in my most recent
(20:44):
group um group this went on forabout good 30, 45 minutes, right
?
The question is is it okay towatch porn while you're in a
relationship?
Again, is it okay to watch pornwhile you're in a relationship?
Now, let me say this Mostpeople I'm not going to say most
people, some people are goingto say no, and that's because,
(21:09):
as individuals, even when we'rein a relationship, we tend to be
very shy and skittish aboutwhat we tell our partner that we
like sexually, about what wetell our partner that we like
sexually, because we're afraidof being judged based on
whatever their meter is of whatthey think is normal or what
they think is freaky and outsideof the box, right.
However, for me personally,I'll say that I don't have a
(21:32):
problem with it at all.
I think that it definitelydepends on your partner and it
depends on what you're into.
You know, that might not besomething that you do in the
beginning of the relationship orin the beginning of dating, but
once you start to learn theperson that you're involved with
, it can be very beneficial anda good additive to your bedroom
(21:53):
and your late night escapades.
You know what I'm saying.
Some relationships end becausethings get stagnant, things get
dry and you don't know how tonecessarily reinvent the wheel.
And that might be a way for youto, you know, recreate your
bedroom and develop some thingsabout yourself or learn some
things about yourself that youmight not have known or expected
(22:15):
and, you know, ultimately spiceup your relationship.
So what I will say is that Iwouldn't just 100 right at all,
but I will say, oh, your partner, okay, because if you are
messing with a basic or youmessing with a basic, then that
means that you should bewatching together basic porn.
(22:35):
If you interested in gettingchoked out on some borderline bd
, then you might want to savethat for your own time, because
you put on the wrong thing infront of the right or the wrong
person and that could be a dealbreaker for the night or for the
whole relationship.
So know your partner, let mesay that.
(22:57):
But I will say don't write itoff, because it could definitely
make a difference With that.
This is very.
The next question is veryindividual and you have to
internalize this.
This is not necessarilysomething that you know.
You could talk about it withyour friends, but this is not
necessarily a group question.
This is something more that'sinternalized for
self-development.
(23:18):
So how has your parents'relationship or do you feel that
your parents' relationship oryour family dynamic growing up
impacted your love life or theway that you deal with or seek
out the relationships thatyou're in?
Do you find that you attract,you know, your mother or your
father?
Or, you know, do you find anysimilarities on how you interact
(23:39):
with your relationships or thepeople that you're looking to
date now, in conjunction to whatyou saw growing up?
And the reason that I bring thisup is because we don't always
realize how things affect us inthe future.
You know, we always say growingup, I'm not going to be
anything like my parents or I'mnot going to do this, and then
we find that we get older,unconsciously, we start saying
(24:02):
things that they said and wehave gestures and mannerisms
that they had, and we're tryingto figure out.
How the hell did we even end uphere?
So just chew on that and see ifyour family dynamic had any
play on how you deal with yourrelationships now and see if
maybe there's something that youcan identify along the way
where you can see well, this iswhere I'm going right and maybe
(24:25):
this is where I need to dosomething a little different.
And maybe this is how you canidentify how you keep ending up
in repetitive things, or youknow the same cycles over and
over again, and you can figureout how to make the necessary
changes changes and, like I said, see where you're going right
and see where you might be.
Uh, might need some room forimprovement.
(24:48):
Um, the final question that I'mgoing to leave you with is how
long do you think a coupleshould date before becoming
official?
Most people I talk to saidthree to six months.
It's kind of you know shit orget off the pot.
But then other people you knowit kind of depends on the age
(25:09):
range, your culture, what you'reaccustomed to.
So throw that around at thetable.
Ladies, this is what I'm goingto tell you when you at you know
dinner or brunch with yourgirlfriends and this situation
comes up.
This is what's going to happen.
The question is going to come upand then everybody's going to
start looking around at eachother like this, to see who
gives what answer and seeswhat's socially acceptable,
(25:30):
right?
So, like I said, the most thatI hear is three to six months.
Then I also hear the oh well, Iknow right off the bat whether
or not I'm a developer.
No, keep it 100.
Nobody knows in the first 30days whether or not they want to
be with somebody and developsomething and make it official.
So let's be honest.
(25:51):
Then I do hear the responses iswell, I don't know what's going
on unless we have sex first,because if the sex is not good,
then it's absolutely no way thatI'm developing it into
something else.
So see what this comes up whenyou bring it up.
When I brought this up in frontof the fellas this, some of the
responses I got was yeah, well,I know within the first three
(26:11):
months whether or not I want toinvest time in shorty, and sex
definitely does play a part inwhether or not we're going to
develop anything, and whether ornot we're compatible does play
a part in whether or not we'regoing to develop anything and
whether or not we're compatible.
And this came up and ladiesthis might surprise you, but
this is definitely the case.
Guys treat you according to theway that you treat yourself and
(26:32):
whether or not you thinkthey're paying attention.
They are.
So, whatever energy that you'relooking for, whatever you're
looking for, that might be theenergy that you want to put out,
because a dude is going totreat you how you treat yourself
, carry yourself accordingly,govern yourself accordingly.
Okay, so I'm going to postthese online, put your comments
(26:57):
in there, let's see what we comeup with, and believe me when I
tell you you're going to getsome good responses out of this.
Yeah, we are doing that.
So we on to the next one.
This brings us to our third andfinal segment for today, and
this is something that I like tocall table talk.
Now, the last segment werequestions that were geared
towards self-development,personal growth, relationship
(27:18):
growth, intimacy, growth.
Um, this is just a scenariothat's just sheer fun.
That's really what it is.
It's just sheer fun, and I'mgoing to pose a scenario that I
want you to talk about with yourfriends.
This is another at brunchsituation or your next little
outing.
You know whatever comes up andlet's hear the responses,
(27:38):
because it is going toabsolutely turn the room up
Right Now.
Bear in mind, before I offertoday's question in order for
this to work, you have to keepthis in general terms and be
completely objective.
Let me stick something rightthere, too.
This is a conversation thatfellas you have with your boys,
(28:00):
you have with your boys, ladiesyou have with your girls.
Do not have this conversationwith your significant other.
It is just going to be messyand lead to a bunch of
unnecessary conversations abouta fictitious scenario that you
heard on a podcast and don'tblame me for you having a messy
night.
Do not have this conversationwith your night.
(28:21):
Do not have this conversationwith your man.
Don't have this conversationwith your girl.
If you do, you're on your ownPeriod.
Now.
Make your responses asobjective as possible, okay.
Do not make your responsespersonal.
Do not think of a specificperson.
You have to make your responsesin a general term.
Right.
This definitely is going totake up a good 45 minutes to an
(28:44):
hour of your conversation, soget ready for it.
Right.
Here we go.
Your spouse dies.
Pick up your face, it getsbetter.
Your spouse dies.
Ten years later, you decide toremarry.
Is it okay to marry yoursibling?
Pick up your face, I know, Iknow.
(29:04):
I know.
Don't personalize this, becauseif you do, the first thing
that's going to happen is hell.
No, my brother-in-law, jeffrey,is ugly and oh my God, I can't
think of him like that.
Or, oh hell, no, I ain'tmessing with my sister, my girl
sister.
Don't do that.
This is a general termsquestion.
(29:25):
Let me know what you think.
Right Now, some of theresponses that I got were
absolutely hilarious, right, oneof my girlfriends.
I don't even know how shequeued up her phone so quick.
But the second I finished thequestion, old girl was like she
queued up her phone so quick,but the second.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
I finished the question.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Old girl was like when I tell you I was laughing
so hard it didn't even make anysense, right.
Once we got over the jokes, theconsensus was really hell, no
for most people.
Then other people said well,you know what?
I could understand how somepeople end up falling into the
arms of the person thatcomforted them.
And then the question alsobecomes OK, well, is there a
(30:09):
cultural aspect to that?
Because somebody did offer acultural response and basically
said you know, in his culture itmight be customary for somebody
to take on that sibling, forwhatever reason.
So chew on that, right.
I'm going to add to that andsay does it matter if the person
(30:29):
is a twin?
I know I'm playing myself,right, but does it matter if the
person is a twin?
Now this becomes a real stickysituation if there's children
involved, because then you haveto explain to your kid why uncle
and aunt such and such is nowstep or step um.
So that makes a big differencein how this plays out.
(30:53):
But throw this around, see whatyou come up with.
I'm telling you, it'sabsolutely hilarious to hear the
responses and you would besurprised.
You think that you knowsomebody.
You think that's your man orthat's your girl and you know
them, you would be verysurprised to hear the response
that they give.
Okay.
So, like I said, throw thesearound.
(31:14):
I promise you they're going tobe good, good, good, good, good,
good.
Try these out.
I don't know where you work, soyou might not want to try them
out at work because I don't wantyou to get written up for two
months laughing.
But you know, try this out andsee what you come up with With
that.
That's it for today.
You guys, I had a lot of funand I hope you enjoyed today's
(31:34):
experience.
We will be back every Thursday,so you can find us on any
platform that you listen to yourpodcast and follow us on social
media at the hood chatter, andthat's on Facebook, tiktok and
YouTube.
That's at the hood chatter.
And remember to tell a friend,to tell a friend and until next
(31:54):
time, learn to accept theapology.
You never get See.
You never get.
See you later, guys.
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