August 22, 2025 • 50 mins
What if the darkest moments of your life were actually preparing you for your greatest transformation?
In this week’s episode of Hope Comes to Visit, I sit down with Valerie Rowekamp, whose story is a breathtaking testament to resilience, audacity, and the power of refusing to give up on hope.
Valerie’s journey began in crisis: at just 22 weeks pregnant, her water broke, and doctors offered little optimism for her son, Rex, who was also facing multiple heart defects. Against all medical odds, Valerie carried him for nine more weeks. She remembers telling doctors, “We don’t have time for realistic here. This is my child.”
That fierce audacity carried her through five heart surgeries for Rex — who today is thriving, a living embodiment of what Valerie calls “hope personified.”
But Valerie’s transformation didn’t stop there. At 42, she turned the same tenacity inward, reinventing her life in remarkable ways. She lost 70 pounds, became a fashion model walking runways, and embraced a bold new identity as Vivi Chantal — a woman who radiates self-belief and possibility.
Her philosophy is simple yet profound: “Dress the part first. Romanticize your life. Stop waiting to be complete — evolution is the work of living.”
This episode is a reminder that:
- Hope whispers even when logic shouts.
- Reinvention is always possible — at any age, in any circumstance.
- Audacity — the refusal to tell yourself no — may just be the key to transformation.
Valerie’s story will inspire you to dream bigger, live bolder, and trust your own inner knowing.
Listen to the full episode here
And Connect with Valerie Here:
Thank you for listening to Hope Comes to Visit. If this episode resonated with you, please follow, rate, and share the show — it helps others find their way to these conversations.
New episodes drop every Monday and Friday, so you can begin and end your week with a little light and a lot of hope.
For more stories, reflections, and ways to connect, visit www.DanielleElliottSmith.com or follow along on Instagram @daniellesmithtv and @HopeComestoVisit
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, that was the scariest thing, because I always
want to be able to hand aproblem to a professional and
say fix it.
When those professionals lookat you and they say this is you
know, there's no chance, andthey don't want to sell you hope
at all.
And I didn't.
I felt like they were on myteam but at the same time they
were trying to be very realisticand I was like we don't have
(00:23):
time for realistic here.
This is my child.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
When we speak the truth of what we've lived, we
offer others a way through.
I'm Danielle Elliott Smith, andthis is Hope Comes to Visit.
I'm so thrilled you're herewith us today.
Today's guest is a longtimefriend of mine and someone who,
most assuredly, is going toconvince you that the rest of
your life is most definitely thebest of your life.
(00:57):
Valerie Rokamp, also known asVivi Chantal, is a model content
creator and founder of a luxurylifestyle brand that celebrates
beauty, boldness andreinvention.
Based in Denver, Valerie is amother of three and a vibrant
force in the world of fashion,wellness and digital influence.
From walking runways to walkingthrough life's most sacred
(01:19):
challenges, her story is one ofresilience, radiant
self-expression andtransformation.
Through her platforms onInstagram and YouTube, she's
redefining modern femininity,reminding women that it's never
too late to become the mostmagnetic version of themselves.
Let's take a quick moment tothank the people that support
(01:40):
and sponsor the podcast.
When life takes an unexpectedturn, you deserve someone who
will stand beside you.
St Louis attorney Chris Dulleyoffers experienced one-on-one
legal defense.
Call 314-384-4000 or314-DUI-HELP, or you can visit
DulleyLawFirmcom that'sD-U-L-L-E lawfirmcom for a free
(02:03):
consultation.
Valerie, friend, it is so goodto see your face For lovely
friends who are joining us inthis podcast universe.
Valerie and I go way back intothe blogging world more than
probably a dozen years, and it'syeah, we're OGs, so it's been a
(02:25):
while since I've seen you, andwhat is so extraordinary about
this experience for me gettingto see you is I know so many
iterations of you and thereinventions and have have
witnessed some of these, thesechallenges, and getting to see
where you are right now is it'sbeautiful.
(02:47):
Thank you, Thanks, I'm so gladyou're here.
So let's, let's talk a littlebit about one of the things that
you have, you and I have incommon the mom blogging world.
Right?
So I want to start withmotherhood, because one of your
most transformationalexperiences was within the realm
(03:09):
of motherhood.
So let's, let's start there.
Let's talk about your, yourrole as a mom.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yes, okay, so my role as a mom, I honestly feel like,
for me, motherhood my childrenhave needed three different
mothers.
Like you know, I feel like I'mnot just what was it, it's
basically, yeah, I feel likethrough each birth of my, each
birth of my child brought fortha different version of me that
(03:38):
needed to come forward and like,honestly, I feel like one of my
children who is the most hardto deal with child, he is the
most like me and I feel like hehealed parts of me that needed
to be healed at the time.
And then there was also Rex,who was born and he has had five
heart surgeries and he is justa little ray of sunshine and he
(04:01):
brought out other parts in methat that are very sacred.
And then also there was just alot of trauma there and stuff.
And so, yeah, I feel like withmotherhood, that has been its
own journey on its own.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah, so, rex, going through the surgeries with Rex,
because I know, at one point,when you and I were first
talking because this, thispodcast, has been in the making
for quite some time and when Iwas first talking about doing
this, that was when you firstsaid to me I'd love to tell my
(04:38):
story.
And there's been so many otherreasons for you to want to share
hope, in addition to Rex, sincethen.
But, having had that experiencewith him, tell us a little bit
about your journey with him.
What was his birth like?
(04:59):
What was his initially?
You think you're having ahealthy pregnancy?
Yes, and then you have anultrasound that is not quite
what you expected.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Right, yes, exactly.
First I found out I waspregnant with him and I was so
excited this was my third.
And so like, yeah, I've donethis before, it's going to be
easy and fun and I'll make newmom friends in Colorado.
And then, um, at a 17 weekultrasound I got the news that
(05:34):
just something was wrong.
That's all they could tell.
Something was wrong with hisheart.
And so we're like okay.
And we then get very scaredbecause they don't even know if
he's going to survive, like thepregnant.
They can't tell me anything,basically.
So then I go to children's andI go to the cardiologist and
they tell us like yes, he, justhe.
(05:54):
He has transmission of thegreat arteries, he has pulmonary
stenosis, ventricular septaldefect, atrial septal defect,
and is there a fifth one, maybepulmonary stenosis?
I don't know, but they tell usall that stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
You're rattling all these off as though this is like
you're a heart expert now, andthis all had to be language that
meant next to nothing to youinitially.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Right.
It was terrifying and I mostlywanted to know is he going to
survive or not?
Basically was kind of what,what was going on?
And so then, as soon as I'mable to wrap my head around his
diagnosis and the fact that he'sgoing to need surgery and he's
going to be in the hospital fora long time after he's born, I
start to feel comfortable aboutthat.
(06:41):
And then I wake up at like 3 amone morning and this was a
couple of weeks after.
So I was 22 weeks when my waterbroke, and normally, and it
happened at night.
It was very traumatic andwhenever I went to the ER the
nurse was telling me likethere's no way.
Nobody breaks their water thatearly, I promise you.
(07:03):
You probably just wet yourself,but no.
And so then after that thingsjust got super dicey, because
most women give birth withinlike 72 hours and I managed to
make it, for I want to say itwas like nine weeks.
So that happened at 22 weeksand then at 31 weeks, and three
days was whenever I actuallywent into labor.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
How in the world?
I don't know that I've everheard.
I didn't know that it waspossible to have your water
broken.
And then I mean clearly I'm nota doctor, but I didn't know
that it was possible to haveyour water broken and then
continue to be pregnant forweeks.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I, yeah, yeah, and I didn't either.
And they told me I mean, theytold me multiple times like your
other kids need you and if youwant us to, I mean, and you
don't need to continue thepregnancy, you're, it's, this
isn't going to end well, hecould be deformed, like they
gave us a very small percentageof 1%, especially because of the
(08:03):
heart thing.
So he, in addition to being apreemie and not knowing how, if
his lungs developed or anythinglike that, then he also needed
to be like a certain weight sothat he could have heart surgery
, because they couldn't even doheart surgery unless he was a
certain weight.
So he had to be over.
What was it?
(08:23):
It was supposed to be over 32weeks before they would
resuscitate him.
But I was 31 weeks and threedays and while I was in labor,
they were asking me do you wantus to take him to the NICU?
Do you guys want to say goodbye?
That kind of thing?
And so and I said, please, justdo whatever you can.
And so they did.
(08:44):
And then yeah, and he ended uphaving like two surgeries like
this could be a whole podcastabout him.
But he had to have what was itto?
One was planned, one wasunplanned.
He had three surgeries totalbut two were open heart
surgeries before he was able tocome home.
And then it was, honestly, itwas just such a huge ordeal for
(09:05):
that first, like six months,because we had two planned heart
surgeries, two unplanned,because the first two just
needed a little extra help.
So there was that.
Then he had another onewhenever he was six.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
He's a little miracle boy, he is.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
And he lives like it too, like he lives life to his
fullest.
I feel like he's met all of hisangels and so he knows he's
good and he is just like such aray of sunshine and just lives.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
What makes you say that?
What makes you say you?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
feel like he's met all of his angels and he's good
because he, he lives like that,like he lives like someone who
knows that he is supported byforces that are unseen.
You know, like he, yeah, heabsolutely lives like that, and
then he just always knows like,the right thing to say and he's
just like, just the happiest,the happiest little boy.
(09:58):
I didn't know it was possibleto be so happy and that's what
everyone tells us, um, all ofhis teachers.
He meets random strangers onthe streets, like every he
doesn't know an enemy, exceptfor, maybe, like his middle
brother, but yeah is he the onethat's the most like you yes,
yes or wait.
Which one, rocco or Rex?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
you said that.
No, the one that's challenging.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Oh, yes, yes, yes, rocco.
Rocco is the one who is themost like me.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Yes, because I was going to say Rex is the sweet
little ray of sunshine and hismiddle brother is the one that
gives him a run.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yep, yep, yep, rocco's spicy.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yeah, it's like he's Hope personified.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Oh my gosh, he is, and that was one of the things
that got me through thatpregnancy.
Okay, because for me, with thatpregnancy, I had to live every
moment, like, okay, he is aliveright now, like that was the
only I could just cling to, eachmoment, like it's right now.
That's the only time thatmatters he's still here.
And I felt like whenever I wassitting in my living room and I
(11:09):
was pregnant and I had, like allof my family members in the
same room, I was like this mightbe the only time.
And the tagline for one of thegroups that was very supportive
to me they, their tagline waswhere there's a heartbeat,
there's hope, and that's what Ijust clung to and, honestly,
that helped me through the restof my life.
As far as my mindset goes, it'slike right now we are okay and
we don't need to worry and so,and it ended up working out.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
But, yeah, you sound so spirited about it.
Do you worry about him or doyou feel as though he is
protected?
Speaker 1 (11:38):
No, I do feel like he is very protected and I don't
like it.
I feel like I went through somuch trauma with that, like I I
honestly feel like I could doanything after that because I'm
like, if he just lived, we'regood, like, and we just and I
also had a moment where um, whatwas it?
(11:59):
I started bleeding in the timeand I overnight I had to sign
papers that like, if I'm asleepand I just start hemorrhaging,
you guys can do a bloodtransfusion and that sort of
thing, and then they justimmediately have to end the
pregnancy and stuff.
And so having to live throughthat night just made me feel
(12:19):
like I can get through all of myworst days.
Like I hope this is my worstday, but also, even if it's not,
I know that things my worstdays.
Like I A, I hope this is myworst day, but also, even if
it's not, I know that thingswill be okay.
And Casey, one of Casey's quotesyou know Mooshin and D Casey
Mullins Okay, her quote, yes,her quote everything will be
okay in the end and if it's notokay, it's not the end that gets
me through.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
So many things too, she is going to love that you
quoted her.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
She is close.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
She's one of my close friends.
She is going to love that youquoted her.
Uh, you know, she is such a agood, such a good soul, right,
and she's, you know, like somany of us, has been through a
lot and has continued topersevere.
What is it that continued toget you through, as you were
(13:10):
trying to talk yourself throughthis minute, this hour, this day
?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yeah, oh, my goodness , what did get me through?
Cause I really feel like Iwhite knuckled that whole thing,
honestly.
Um, I was so scared and then Iguess, oh, I feel like I had to
be very, I had to be verydetached from him.
That was one of my copingmechanisms.
I was scared of him when he wasa preemie.
(13:39):
I was very scared of himbecause I was afraid, like I was
like we have done this much andwe have gotten this far, and if
I touch him and get like germson him, he could get some kind
of infection and die.
So after that I was very afraidto hold on to him.
And so I feel like, yes, a lotof detachment and just being
very more like internallyfocused helped a lot.
(14:02):
And then I just had to have alot of trust in the medical team
, because you know like Godcan't like really send angels to
you or anything like that, butyou have all of these people who
are on your team and they justyeah, so that whole beautiful
network just had me have totrust and have faith.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
And so yeah, sounds as though you were surrounded by
angels on every level.
Yes, for sure.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
So then you take that experience and you're raising
him now.
How, how is he health wise now?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
He is great.
The only time we have issue iswhenever he is actually in,
whenever he actually has asurgery.
So like whenever he was firstborn, we were at the he was very
high risk and we were at thehospital, I want to say weekly,
and then we got weaned likeevery few months and now it is
just one cardiology visit, butlike whenever he had to have
(15:03):
surgery he had more visits andthen he um, I feel like he
wasn't himself and he was in alot of pain kind of sort of for
maybe 10 days, which for me wasvery beautiful and healing to
see, because I was afraid thathe had like lingering medical
trauma and stuff like that.
But really it was like hewhipped back and recovered so
(15:28):
fast and we had hard nightsbecause it was hard to sleep at
night, when he couldn't reallymove and his chest hurt and
stuff.
But other than that he justlives a completely like normal
life.
He keeps up with his brothers,he, yeah, and I also feel like
he's raising me in a lot of ways.
You know, just as the thirdchild, he I I definitely feel
(15:52):
like he's raising me in a lot ofways.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Is there, and I've always believed that my kids are
my greatest teachers, and Ithink that Rex is taking you to
a new level of that entirely.
But are there medically?
Are there other scheduledsurgeries that the doctors have
said when he's 17, he may haveto have this, or is it just he's
(16:16):
good as far as we know?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Yeah, he well.
No, the thing is is, hopefullythe next surgeries that he has
will be in the cath lab.
So they gave him this.
He has a bovine conduit in hisheart and they tried to give him
a large one so that he willhopefully grow to adulthood and
then in the future they can justhandle it in a cath lab where
they go through his ankle andthey're able to dilate it and
(16:40):
make it bigger.
But honestly, I have trust inwhatever has to happen.
Oh, you get that Okay, andwhatever has to happen, um, as
far as he is concerned.
And also, I feel like our kidsare put on this planet to
sometimes stretch us, toadvocate for them in ways that
we didn't advocate for ourselves, and I keep learning that over
(17:03):
and over again.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
And it is beautiful to be able to be this person's
superhero and the person who,like, is the reason why they're
on this earth, you know, and soyou just kind of work together
through all of that, but yeah,so then, let's talk about that,
because you've been hissuperhero and there is an
element of you getting to beyour own advocate, your own
(17:27):
superhero, now as you step intothe rest of your life, the best
of your life, right and I gotchills when you first said that
before we started to talk, andthen I built it into the
beginning of the show, right,because it's yeah, it's the
versions that you and I get tolive now, having gone through
(17:49):
things, we get to choose thebest of our lives.
Exactly what does that looklike for you now and what are
you stepping into?
Tell us about this version ofyou right now that's sitting in
Aspen.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
I know, oh my gosh, it is so surreal.
Okay, so uh, as far as the restof my life being the best of my
life.
So, basically, on the, it wasJanuary, it was new years of
2024.
So from 2023 to 2024, that NewYear's I was in bad shape.
(18:27):
I did not like the way my lifelooked and I wrote down my
biggest dreams of what I wanted.
I wanted to model, I wanted toget back into blogging, I wanted
love Like I wanted all of itbut I was also very afraid to
ask for it, but also I didn'tfeel like it was my place to
tell myself no, and so I decidedto.
(18:49):
What is it?
I found the best modelingagency in Colorado and I
submitted photos to them andthings, and they ended up
looking through all of my onlineportfolio.
They looked through all myYouTube videos and things, and
so whenever I went into thatinterview, I thought that I
(19:11):
needed to impress them.
But really, when I sat down,they were trying to convince me
to join and they were telling meall the good things about the
agency and stuff, and so Isigned with them.
And then that, and then afterthat also, my ex.
He had like a three pack classto a three pack spin class thing
and he wasn't using it and Iwas.
(19:32):
I was very bored and so Idecided to do that one 6am
morning and I got addicted to it, okay, and then I it like it
healed a lot of things in me fora lot of different ways in a
lot of different ways.
But, um, I ended up I had aspin class addiction and from
then to now I released 70 poundsand I just have a much
(19:55):
healthier relationship, I feellike, with food, with my body.
I just always want to be reallystrong and I'm always striving
and I never in a million yearsthought that at 42, I was going
to be modeling, I was going tobe advancing in modeling, and
then also I didn't know that Iwas going to be in the best
shape of my life and then tryingto get better.
(20:16):
You know like it's.
It's really cool, and it's alsoreally cool to see like my kids
be so proud and then they'realso very influenced to live
like a very healthy life justbecause they see me and that,
and so, yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
I love this.
What was the tipping point, doyou think, from?
I don't know that, the tippingpoint from?
I'm unhappy, I don't like mylife to.
Can I ask for somethingdifferent?
Am I allowed to?
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Right, right, it's so , it was so hard, it was, I mean
, a.
It was that mindset of just I'mnot going to tell myself, no,
I'm going to live my best life.
I had to develop a lot ofaudacity, like, honestly, that
is a lot of it.
You know how people say likeyou're Delulu, make it Trellulu.
Like that has been me thiswhole time, and I am always the
(21:12):
most shocked person to be like,wait, that worked out, that
happened and so that's yes,that's totally been.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Yes, you said you're getting ready to walk fashion
week right?
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Yes, yes, I'm getting ready to walk in Aspen fashion
week.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I am so proud of you.
I'm so excited for you.
What has been in in the pastyear let's say what has been the
most surreal.
I actually had the audacity towish for it.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
I actually had the audacity to wish for it.
And here it is yeah, yes, okay,one of them was shooting a
commercial with Peyton Manningand I mean even that also.
The thing was funny was lessthan like 24 hours before I shot
the commercial, I had hadsurgery.
So I had like a labroscopicsurgery to get my tubes tied,
but I didn't tell anybodybecause I was like you know what
(22:05):
I'm going to, I'm going to bean extra, I'm going to be fine,
and I was and but yeah, that wasone of those surreal kind of
moments of yeah, and then I'vejust done so many cool
commercials and photo shoots andlike it's, it's been a lot than
(22:26):
photo shoots and like it's it'sbeen a lot.
And now I'm just really excited, honestly, to integrate that
with what I want to build online.
And you know this VB Chantalthat is debuting, so it's cool.
Tell us about VB.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Chantal.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
All right, vb, chantal, it is for me, a lot of
it is.
I like to live my life like I'mon vacation.
I feel like you should have alife that you don't need to take
a vacation from, basically.
And so and I know, like youknow, we've got kids and all the
things, but at the same time,you can still be fabulous.
(22:59):
Like, honestly, and one of thethings that motivates me to go
to the gym for I think up to nowit's probably like 350 spin
classes One of the things thatmotivates me is like I get to
wear a really cool outfit.
You know, like I get to wearthis like aloe set or whatever,
and then if I decide to go on aweighted vest walk later I can
(23:19):
wear another cool outfit andthen I can also take my little
selfies and stuff my mirrorselfies and like that is
honestly one of the things thatmotivates me.
But honestly it's it's reallythe hill climbs and that's
whenever I channel my Rex energyis whenever we're doing like
the really hard hill climbs, orlike I'm in Aspen right now and
I had to like walk like almostjust straight up for a hike, and
(23:43):
I always, I always tell myselfyou can do anything Like, even
if I don't necessarily, I'm justalways like you can do this,
you can do anything, you can dothis, you can do anything.
And then I also just use likethe kindest voice I can to
myself and that is one of thesuperpowers that I have learned
in all this time Because, as awoman, when you are so outwardly
focused, you don't feel likeyour world is yours.
(24:06):
You know you don't feel likethe main character in your own
story and I know like for me, Ihad to wait 40 years before I
knew I was important, likehonestly.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
You know it's funny that you said that main
character sentence, because forthe longest time I said that I
had a starring role in someoneelse's story and it was really
hard for me to take ownership ofthe fact that I had allowed
that to happen and unwittingly,I mean, it wasn't as though I
(24:44):
was marching along and thinkingI'd love to be your main
character rather than my own.
It was just that I had allowedit to happen and found myself
walking up and down the stairsin my house thinking how did I
get here?
This is not part of the planand this is someone else's story
(25:07):
.
This is someone else's timeline.
This is not what I had plannedand there have been different
pathways that I've had to takein order to get to where I am
now, but this is the truestversion of me that I am.
(25:28):
And as I'm listening to you.
This is one of the thingsthat's so beautifully inspiring
to me about this podcast is that, while I am hoping that it will
meet people where they are, itcontinues to meet me where I am.
(25:49):
Ooh, yes, and I hear you and Ithink for the longest time, I
just wanted somebody to saysomething that inspired me to
want to move and to exercise,and never in my life have I
thought, gosh, I'd really liketo move and you've just said
sentences that made me want tofeel stronger, and that's never
(26:12):
happened before.
So I mean, I'm 10 years olderthan you, right?
So I'm 52.
I'm not in bad shape.
I've just never been superexcited.
I love to feel fabulous, don'tget me wrong, so I can meet you
on that one, but I know that I'mat an age now where I have to
(26:35):
work harder at it.
Oh, yes, and I need to takebetter care of myself.
And hosted a retreat this pastweekend, uh, and we went on a
hike and I did it and I wasproud of myself for doing it,
and one of the women I was withsaid love to move my body, and
(26:58):
I'm always loving to be outsideand I'm thinking I I never say
these things, I never just.
But then I'm listening to youand I'm thinking, okay, I need,
I need more of this type ofenergy in my life.
So it inspires me to find thatin me and I love that, because
(27:23):
we should want to feel like thebest versions of ourselves and
part of what hope comes to.
You're allowed to own it.
Go for it.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
So thank you oh my gosh, you're so welcome.
Yes, and I also I was at apoint in my life where I was
tired of going to therapy.
I was tired of treating myselflike a project that was never
going to be fixed.
Okay, and I still feel like Ido that, but I treat it as
evolutions and I treat it aslevels, you know, and I am
(28:13):
totally happy with jumping toone level before I'm ready and
then just like dealing withmaking it come together.
Basically, but I I came to apoint to where I was very tired
of going to therapy.
I was tired of overthinkingthings and have processing them.
And then then came myconnection with my body, and
(28:34):
whenever you're moving your bodylike that and you're having to
push yourself and you're havingto be present all the time, it
is very easy to work throughlike your stuff is going to come
to the surface and so and thatis the way to deal with it and
that is what I tell people nowalso is I'm like that is my
addiction, like I have a fitnessaddiction and it, and a lot of
it, is because that just is mygo-to stress reliever and it
(28:56):
helps rebalance my nervoussystem and yeah, what would you
say is the most important lessonyou've learned about yourself
in the last couple of years?
Oh, ok, one of the mostimportant things I've learned
about myself is, honestly, Ipart of me feels like it feels
(29:19):
very there's.
It's a different kind of trauma.
I wouldn't say it's, butsometimes, a lot of times, I get
very overwhelmed whenever Ihave hit certain goals and
milestones that maybe I didn'treally think I was going to.
And I'm also surprised all thetime at how, in the toilet, my
self-worth was, honestly, youknow, and when I look in the
(29:39):
mirror right now, I'm just likebaby carl, like you are, so like
it, just yeah, it's been, it'sbeen cool to witness and it's
very surreal, like if it wasn'tmy own life.
I don't know that I wouldnecessarily believe that all of
it was possible, but I'm glad itwas.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Um, yeah, it still is yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Right, exactly, and I'm right now like it is hard
for me to think, like what iflife does get better, you know?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
so pretend, do me a favor and okay, talk to my
listeners like they are yourfriends and you're encouraging
(30:31):
them to have the audacity toassume life is getting better
than yours is right now.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Yeah, okay, my main thing, honestly, would be dress
the part first.
First of all, dress the part,because whenever I look at that
cause I did today whenever Ilooked at that picture of myself
from on February 22nd uh, 2024,and like I was much heavier and
(31:04):
I like at certain angles,whenever you see me, you would
be like, um, what was it?
I don't know.
Whenever I look back at thosepictures, like I see the version
of me that is me, that is rightnow me that I identify with.
And she had her fingers up andshe was just all happy and
pumped and excited for herself.
(31:25):
And I was dressing the part,like I had on this cute like
midriff tank top kind of thingwith my little biker shorts, and
you could not have told me Iwasn't the hottest thing in the
room.
And then, whenever I get likesix months into the fitness
journey, I was like, oh my gosh,I think I might be the hottest
thing in the room, you know, andthen it just kept building on
(31:47):
from there and it's honestly adress the part kind of situation
, like if, like, just put on abeautiful dress and clean your
house and, you know, just reallystart to romanticize your life.
Cause I don't only romanticizemy life and that is a lot saying
being midlife and having dealtwith divorce and having dealt
with, um, just various liketraumatic issues and stuff like
(32:12):
that.
Have after having dealt withthat and then it's yes, there is
you.
I romanticize like everythingthat I can about my life.
I will romanticize it and soand that especially happens with
fitness too.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
So yeah, I love how you have put a romantic spin on
so many things in your life tocontinue to encourage you to
move forward and and dream,dream and and hope and wish.
(32:46):
How do you define hope?
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Ooh, ooh, how do I define hope?
Ugh, I I feel like hope is oneof those things that whispers,
and it's one of those thingsthat it is the thing that you
can't even say out loud becausepeople will think that you're
crazy for believing that hardLike that's.
(33:11):
One of the things that Rex didfor me was because I was
offended when they told me hisdiagnosis and the fact that he
had a prognosis while he wasstill in my stomach.
That really bothered me a lot,and so I feel like that just
having having all of that happenstarted a very deep love affair
(33:34):
with myself, and that has beenwhat it's been, because I spent
at least three and a half yearsnot dating and I was only
focused on myself and my family,but really more myself, and
that's been so healing for me.
So it's like when nobody elseis going to show up for you.
Even if you don't want to sayout loud like I want to be a top
(33:55):
model and I'm, you know, like42 years old, it is, yeah, it's,
it's the self-love will carryyou through every single time.
Like you don't have to tell allyour friends, you don't have to
post to the internet, but justlike put it out there, dress the
part, walk into the room likeyou own the place, get yourself
some main character energy andgo for it Because, honestly, it
(34:17):
is your world.
You know, like you are thecenter of the world, as you know
, you are the only Danielle,you're the only.
I'm the only, I'm the onlychance Valerie has to see this
whole earth, and I want to seeall of that.
And in the past I would havebeen kind of like, oh, I don't
know if I should say that outloud, but it's like no baby girl
, like we can do this, and soand I have been and yeah, yeah,
(34:40):
I'm honestly very excited andI've gotten to a point to where
I'm done grieving.
I'm done grieving the past.
I'm done grieving the divorceand what I thought my life was
going to be, and I am veryexcited about the unknown and I
just love being in that kind ofspace.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
How much of your experience with Rex and you
being offended by the doctorshaving the audacity to tell you
that he might not be okay, doyou think, informs the fact that
you said no, no, no, no, I willnot stand for what you tell me.
I'm going to stand for what Iknow.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Yeah, oh, that was the scariest thing, because I
always want to be the.
I always want to be able tohand a problem to a professional
and say fix it.
When those professionals lookat you and they say this is you
know, there's no chance, andthey're they don't want to sell
you hope at all, and I I didn't.
(35:50):
I felt like they were on myteam but at the same time they
were trying to be very realisticand I was like we don't have
time for realistic here.
This is my child on the lineand so, and I was just willing
to hang with him.
I was like little guy on theline and so, and I was just
willing to hang with him.
I was like little guy you know,like, and I would talk to him
like this, like if and at firstI thought he was a girl too,
(36:12):
because they originally thoughthe was a girl, and at first
that's where I pulled mystrength from.
I was like I got to show herwhat women are like.
But anyway, aside from that, um, yeah, yeah, having to then
just completely go out into theunknown and never know for
however many like nine weeks andthen even longer after that if
he was going to survive.
Yeah, that is that.
(36:33):
I feel like that was where Iwas birthed.
Really a big lesson in hope.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
It also sounds to me like you learned to rely on
yourself.
It was something that you knewand our inner knowing.
And if your inner knowing isgoing to guide you, when the
professionals say I'm sorry,valerie, I don't know, I can't
(37:02):
no promises here, and there's apiece of you that says, oh no,
I'm sorry, valerie, I don't know, I can't no promises here, and
there's a piece of you that says, oh no, I know and you're right
.
If you're right about that, youcan be right about all things
about you.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Yes and I that's so powerful and I feel like that's
the kind of thing that, like JoeDispenza tries to tell people
and it's, but it's really harduntil you have to go through it,
you know, until you're at yourlike rock bottom moment and and
like I had so many times, likein marriage, like what was it in
(37:36):
marriage?
Just the quiet when everybody'sasleep and you're on the floor
in the bathroom just like crying, like torrential downpour of
like what happened, that sort ofthing, and then that little
inner knowing just comes throughto help you and give you a
little boost and be gentle withyou.
That was another thing that Ilearned on my journey.
(37:57):
Whenever I was living by myself,I started taking care of myself
like a mother would take careof her children, and I became
fiercely protective of myselfand it has served me so well,
because the world can break yourheart, but you don't break your
own heart Like nope, nope, nope, nope.
And I also get very, I get verytriggered whenever people don't
(38:18):
like advocate for themselvesand things like that, cause I'm
like you're your only hope.
Nobody else is going to do thisexcept for you, and so, yeah,
you can pull a lot of strengthfrom that, but truly, yes, just
don't believe.
You don't have, you don't haveto subscribe and believe to
everything that people tell you.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
No, I I couldn't agree more, because I think that
it's so important that we areour own advocates.
And I love that you saidaudacity earlier, because I
think that we would be wellserved to have more audacity.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Oh yes.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
To have the audacity to believe that we can, To.
When your inner knowing servesyou up a question or makes you
(39:21):
feel imposter-esque, what do yousay to her?
Speaker 1 (39:26):
Oh, my goodness, I'm so glad you brought that up,
cause I do feel imposter-esque alot of the time.
I think we all do right.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Especially when things go well right, when the
when you're in the commercialwith Peyton Manning and you
think am I supposed to be here,right?
Does everybody know how?
old I am Right, and I, I havethose moments too.
I mean, I, I have themregularly and I, you know, I
(39:56):
spoke to a gentleman earlier whowas telling me that he wrote a
book and he showed me the bookand he said you know, this was
my, my 13th book, and when Iwrote it I put it back in the
cabinet and I left it there for12 years.
And I said you put your 13thbook back in the cabinet for 12
years and then when it came out,it was a bestseller.
What?
What about?
(40:17):
Your 13th book made yousuddenly think that you weren't
an author, right?
What is it about?
We can have a tremendous amountof success and then suddenly
find ourselves thinking no,today I'm not an author.
Today I'm not a model.
Today I don't have the abilityto get on camera and speak.
(40:38):
Today I'm a terrible mother.
Whatever it is that we do, well, the doubt creeps in.
What do you say to your loudestvoice of doubt when it starts
to find its way in?
Speaker 1 (41:04):
I was backstage and I was about to walk through Lisa
Marie Couture and I almost had apanic attack because I was like
if the, if your younger selfknew that this was what you were
going to be doing at 42, likeliving this kind of dream.
But I immediately turned itinto those, that nervous feeling
.
I was like this is just youbeing excited and you are going
to enjoy having every single eyeon you and you're going to walk
as slow and as graceful and aspowerfully as possible and it
works.
And then the next fashion week,I ended up modeling three looks
(41:26):
.
I made Denver Fashion Weekhistory because I modeled three
looks in the same show for adesigner and in the fact it
healed so many things in my body.
Because she was like you havethe perfect curves for bridal
wear and I was like, okay, I'mlike a bridal wear.
That that's a little strangejust because of my weird
feelings about marriage, likethe fact that I excel in this.
(41:47):
I was like you know, this isthe best time you get to rock
this kind of dress.
You know, like you wear three,seven thousand dollar gowns.
You didn't have to pay forphotography and makeup and hair
and I was with all of thesebeautiful women everywhere yes,
exactly, and I was justsurrounded by all these other
beautiful bridal models andstuff and so and that was, and
(42:10):
so whenever I am having thoselittle fraud moments, I was like
no, you have worked too hard,sister, for all of this.
And that is also the fact thatthe way that I have worked to
become who I am now, it reallyit really makes it easy to
discern, like, what people youshould be hanging out with,
(42:32):
because if they don't see mywork, then I am like absolutely
not, goodbye, you're blocked,like you're done.
And having that yeah, havingthat honestly, has helped me so
much.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
See, that's extraordinary too, because
that's a place.
So you're, you're there earlierthan I was Right, oh, really.
Oh, that's shocking to me.
Well, because one of the thingsthat my ex-husband used to say
to me and again, jeff and I arevery good friends, but he always
said to me Danielle, yourexpectations of people are too
high, because I would expectpeople to treat me the way I
(43:07):
treated them, and when theydidn't, I was always so
disappointed, and what Irealized in my later years is
that I require friendships thatmatch my energy.
I require and it's funny becauseI wrote a blog post about this
years ago about having friendswho are cheerleaders I require
(43:28):
cheerleading friends.
I require people who are and Ihave raised Delaney to recognize
this as well that you have tohave people in your life who
will be as excited for you asyou are.
So if I can't celebrate you atFashion Week in Aspen later,
(43:57):
because my first reaction is, ohwell, that sounds cool as
compared to oh my God, I can'twait to see the pictures.
Yeah, right, you are going torocket.
Wow, you deserve that.
Even if there was a piece of methat thought, damn, I'd love to
do that.
Those two things can exist atthe same time.
I can remember years ago, yearsago.
(44:19):
So Audrey and I did a lot ofthe same work in the blogging
world.
Right, yeah, yes, before I everdid any type of red carpet work
, audrey was the first one to doit, and both things existed at
the same time.
I thought, damn, I would loveto do something red carpet and
(44:40):
God, I'm so excited for her.
And those two emotionsgenuinely existed at the same
time.
Yes, not, I can't believe theywould pick her and not me.
Really and truly, there wasnone of that from me, because I
want people to succeed, becauseher getting to do it meant that
(45:01):
that actually existed as anopportunity, exactly.
Yeah, that's what that means tome.
You being in Fashion Week inyour 40s means that there are
opportunities for otherbeautiful women to do this.
It means that they're not onlylooking for 20 year olds.
This should be an amazing,extraordinary thing for other
(45:23):
people, and so I hope thatyou're surrounding yourself by
other people who are celebratingthat for you.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
Yes, I am, and I honestly feel like.
I feel like jealousy to me isan opportunity for me to examine
that dream for myself, because,honestly, I saw another mom at
my kid's school who she had beena pageant queen and she had a
different trajectory, but weworked for the same um, what our
(45:53):
kids go to the same school.
And then we also worked for thesame modeling agency and I was
like you know what?
I can go walk down a red carpettoo.
All I have to do is apply andso, and now we are the biggest
cheerleaders for each otheronline, and it was.
It was one of those things,instead of letting jealousy be a
block and being like, oh no,only Lauren can do that because
she was Miss Columbia, no, I cando that too, and I tell myself
(46:18):
and I just go along.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Yes, exactly, that is fantastic.
What is your next big dream?
What can we hope for for you?
Speaker 1 (46:27):
Oh, my goodness, my next big dream.
It's hard for me to decide, butI'm realizing now, also talking
to you, that I don't necessarilyhave to decide because I really
want to just like rebirth myonline, like as Vivi Chantal, as
(46:49):
the person I'm stepping into.
Like I had to give her a newname, even one that I'm not all
the way comfortable with, but Ilove it.
But I had to give it a new namebecause it helps me to detach
more from, like Valerie Rowecamp, you know, and so, um, yes,
my next hope for myself is thatI get just even further, just
(47:12):
blow the water off of whateveris possible for me as far as
modeling goes, like I am readyto receive that and the same
thing with love, and then also,yeah, with modeling and
especially with influencer stuff, because that's where my heart
is, like I have said in the past, like I want to start a
divorcee.
Sorority is basically the way Ifeel about it, honestly.
(47:36):
But yeah, yeah, that is prettymuch what's going for.
I'm so glad you asked that,because sometimes now I get
afraid to ask myself thosequestions because I know I know
what I'm capable of and I'm like, what if I don't know what I'm
capable of, you know, and so Ijust give myself that much space
and I just let myself just youknow surprise myself.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Well, I have loved having you here shining your
light and and just being such abright, beautiful presence.
Um, I encourage people who arelistening to jump on YouTube and
just see your bright, beautifulpresence as well, because
people can do both they canlisten to the podcast, but they
(48:21):
can also see it on YouTube.
So yeah, and Instagram, I'mprobably more on Instagram, but
I am resurrect.
I'm working on more YouTube too.
I meant just for this podcast,but yes, that is.
Oh okay, yes, oh yes, sorry,find you, yeah, find you, yeah.
Yes, everyone can find me.
I am charmed.
Valerie on.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Instagram, Everyone can find me.
I am charmedvalerie onInstagram and then on YouTube
you can find me.
If you look up Valerie Roe Campor charmedvalerie, you'll find
me there.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
That is amazing.
I'm so excited to see what youdo next.
Thank you for being here withme tonight.
It has been such a delight andso good to see your face again
after so long.
I will be watching along to seewhat you do next.
See your face again after solong.
I will be watching along to seewhat you do next.
And, friends, thank you onceagain for being here for this
(49:11):
episode of Hope Comes to Visit.
As always, I so hope we met youwhere you are today and that
this version of love and lightand hope was exactly what you
needed, and I hope that you willfind someplace somewhere to
share this with someone you love, and I hope that it meets them
exactly where they are as welland encourages you guys to have
(49:32):
the audacity you deserve.
Yes, until next time.
Take good care of you and thankyou for being here with us.
Naturally, it's important tothank the people who support and
sponsor the podcast.
This episode is supported byChris Dulley, a trusted criminal
(49:52):
defense attorney and friend ofmine here in St Louis, who
believes in second chances andsolid representation.
Whether you're facing a DWI,felony or traffic issue, chris
handles your case personallywith clarity, compassion and
over 15 years of experience.
When things feel uncertain, ithelps to have someone steady in
your corner.
Call 314-384-4000 or314-DUI-HELP, or you can visit
(50:18):
DulleyLawFirmcom to scheduleyour free consultation.
Oh, that was the scariest thing, because I always
want to be able to hand aproblem to a professional and
say fix it.
When those professionals lookat you and they say this is you
know, there's no chance, andthey don't want to sell you hope
at all.
And I didn't.
I felt like they were on myteam but at the same time they
were trying to be very realisticand I was like we don't have
(00:23):
time for realistic here.
This is my child.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
When we speak the truth of what we've lived, we
offer others a way through.
I'm Danielle Elliott Smith, andthis is Hope Comes to Visit.
I'm so thrilled you're herewith us today.
Today's guest is a longtimefriend of mine and someone who,
most assuredly, is going toconvince you that the rest of
your life is most definitely thebest of your life.
(00:57):
Valerie Rokamp, also known asVivi Chantal, is a model content
creator and founder of a luxurylifestyle brand that celebrates
beauty, boldness andreinvention.
Based in Denver, Valerie is amother of three and a vibrant
force in the world of fashion,wellness and digital influence.
From walking runways to walkingthrough life's most sacred
(01:19):
challenges, her story is one ofresilience, radiant
self-expression andtransformation.
Through her platforms onInstagram and YouTube, she's
redefining modern femininity,reminding women that it's never
too late to become the mostmagnetic version of themselves.
Let's take a quick moment tothank the people that support
(01:40):
and sponsor the podcast.
When life takes an unexpectedturn, you deserve someone who
will stand beside you.
St Louis attorney Chris Dulleyoffers experienced one-on-one
legal defense.
Call 314-384-4000 or314-DUI-HELP, or you can visit
DulleyLawFirmcom that'sD-U-L-L-E lawfirmcom for a free
(02:03):
consultation.
Valerie, friend, it is so goodto see your face For lovely
friends who are joining us inthis podcast universe.
Valerie and I go way back intothe blogging world more than
probably a dozen years, and it'syeah, we're OGs, so it's been a
(02:25):
while since I've seen you, andwhat is so extraordinary about
this experience for me gettingto see you is I know so many
iterations of you and thereinventions and have have
witnessed some of these, thesechallenges, and getting to see
where you are right now is it'sbeautiful.
(02:47):
Thank you, Thanks, I'm so gladyou're here.
So let's, let's talk a littlebit about one of the things that
you have, you and I have incommon the mom blogging world.
Right?
So I want to start withmotherhood, because one of your
most transformationalexperiences was within the realm
(03:09):
of motherhood.
So let's, let's start there.
Let's talk about your, yourrole as a mom.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yes, okay, so my role as a mom, I honestly feel like,
for me, motherhood my childrenhave needed three different
mothers.
Like you know, I feel like I'mnot just what was it, it's
basically, yeah, I feel likethrough each birth of my, each
birth of my child brought fortha different version of me that
(03:38):
needed to come forward and like,honestly, I feel like one of my
children who is the most hardto deal with child, he is the
most like me and I feel like hehealed parts of me that needed
to be healed at the time.
And then there was also Rex,who was born and he has had five
heart surgeries and he is justa little ray of sunshine and he
(04:01):
brought out other parts in methat that are very sacred.
And then also there was just alot of trauma there and stuff.
And so, yeah, I feel like withmotherhood, that has been its
own journey on its own.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah, so, rex, going through the surgeries with Rex,
because I know, at one point,when you and I were first
talking because this, thispodcast, has been in the making
for quite some time and when Iwas first talking about doing
this, that was when you firstsaid to me I'd love to tell my
(04:38):
story.
And there's been so many otherreasons for you to want to share
hope, in addition to Rex, sincethen.
But, having had that experiencewith him, tell us a little bit
about your journey with him.
What was his birth like?
(04:59):
What was his initially?
You think you're having ahealthy pregnancy?
Yes, and then you have anultrasound that is not quite
what you expected.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Right, yes, exactly.
First I found out I waspregnant with him and I was so
excited this was my third.
And so like, yeah, I've donethis before, it's going to be
easy and fun and I'll make newmom friends in Colorado.
And then, um, at a 17 weekultrasound I got the news that
(05:34):
just something was wrong.
That's all they could tell.
Something was wrong with hisheart.
And so we're like okay.
And we then get very scaredbecause they don't even know if
he's going to survive, like thepregnant.
They can't tell me anything,basically.
So then I go to children's andI go to the cardiologist and
they tell us like yes, he, justhe.
(05:54):
He has transmission of thegreat arteries, he has pulmonary
stenosis, ventricular septaldefect, atrial septal defect,
and is there a fifth one, maybepulmonary stenosis?
I don't know, but they tell usall that stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
You're rattling all these off as though this is like
you're a heart expert now, andthis all had to be language that
meant next to nothing to youinitially.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Right.
It was terrifying and I mostlywanted to know is he going to
survive or not?
Basically was kind of what,what was going on?
And so then, as soon as I'mable to wrap my head around his
diagnosis and the fact that he'sgoing to need surgery and he's
going to be in the hospital fora long time after he's born, I
start to feel comfortable aboutthat.
(06:41):
And then I wake up at like 3 amone morning and this was a
couple of weeks after.
So I was 22 weeks when my waterbroke, and normally, and it
happened at night.
It was very traumatic andwhenever I went to the ER the
nurse was telling me likethere's no way.
Nobody breaks their water thatearly, I promise you.
(07:03):
You probably just wet yourself,but no.
And so then after that thingsjust got super dicey, because
most women give birth withinlike 72 hours and I managed to
make it, for I want to say itwas like nine weeks.
So that happened at 22 weeksand then at 31 weeks, and three
days was whenever I actuallywent into labor.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
How in the world?
I don't know that I've everheard.
I didn't know that it waspossible to have your water
broken.
And then I mean clearly I'm nota doctor, but I didn't know
that it was possible to haveyour water broken and then
continue to be pregnant forweeks.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I, yeah, yeah, and I didn't either.
And they told me I mean, theytold me multiple times like your
other kids need you and if youwant us to, I mean, and you
don't need to continue thepregnancy, you're, it's, this
isn't going to end well, hecould be deformed, like they
gave us a very small percentageof 1%, especially because of the
(08:03):
heart thing.
So he, in addition to being apreemie and not knowing how, if
his lungs developed or anythinglike that, then he also needed
to be like a certain weight sothat he could have heart surgery
, because they couldn't even doheart surgery unless he was a
certain weight.
So he had to be over.
What was it?
(08:23):
It was supposed to be over 32weeks before they would
resuscitate him.
But I was 31 weeks and threedays and while I was in labor,
they were asking me do you wantus to take him to the NICU?
Do you guys want to say goodbye?
That kind of thing?
And so and I said, please, justdo whatever you can.
And so they did.
(08:44):
And then yeah, and he ended uphaving like two surgeries like
this could be a whole podcastabout him.
But he had to have what was itto?
One was planned, one wasunplanned.
He had three surgeries totalbut two were open heart
surgeries before he was able tocome home.
And then it was, honestly, itwas just such a huge ordeal for
(09:05):
that first, like six months,because we had two planned heart
surgeries, two unplanned,because the first two just
needed a little extra help.
So there was that.
Then he had another onewhenever he was six.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
He's a little miracle boy, he is.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
And he lives like it too, like he lives life to his
fullest.
I feel like he's met all of hisangels and so he knows he's
good and he is just like such aray of sunshine and just lives.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
What makes you say that?
What makes you say you?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
feel like he's met all of his angels and he's good
because he, he lives like that,like he lives like someone who
knows that he is supported byforces that are unseen.
You know, like he, yeah, heabsolutely lives like that, and
then he just always knows like,the right thing to say and he's
just like, just the happiest,the happiest little boy.
(09:58):
I didn't know it was possibleto be so happy and that's what
everyone tells us, um, all ofhis teachers.
He meets random strangers onthe streets, like every he
doesn't know an enemy, exceptfor, maybe, like his middle
brother, but yeah is he the onethat's the most like you yes,
yes or wait.
Which one, rocco or Rex?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
you said that.
No, the one that's challenging.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Oh, yes, yes, yes, rocco.
Rocco is the one who is themost like me.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Yes, because I was going to say Rex is the sweet
little ray of sunshine and hismiddle brother is the one that
gives him a run.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yep, yep, yep, rocco's spicy.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yeah, it's like he's Hope personified.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Oh my gosh, he is, and that was one of the things
that got me through thatpregnancy.
Okay, because for me, with thatpregnancy, I had to live every
moment, like, okay, he is aliveright now, like that was the
only I could just cling to, eachmoment, like it's right now.
That's the only time thatmatters he's still here.
And I felt like whenever I wassitting in my living room and I
(11:09):
was pregnant and I had, like allof my family members in the
same room, I was like this mightbe the only time.
And the tagline for one of thegroups that was very supportive
to me they, their tagline waswhere there's a heartbeat,
there's hope, and that's what Ijust clung to and, honestly,
that helped me through the restof my life.
As far as my mindset goes, it'slike right now we are okay and
we don't need to worry and so,and it ended up working out.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
But, yeah, you sound so spirited about it.
Do you worry about him or doyou feel as though he is
protected?
Speaker 1 (11:38):
No, I do feel like he is very protected and I don't
like it.
I feel like I went through somuch trauma with that, like I I
honestly feel like I could doanything after that because I'm
like, if he just lived, we'regood, like, and we just and I
also had a moment where um, whatwas it?
(11:59):
I started bleeding in the timeand I overnight I had to sign
papers that like, if I'm asleepand I just start hemorrhaging,
you guys can do a bloodtransfusion and that sort of
thing, and then they justimmediately have to end the
pregnancy and stuff.
And so having to live throughthat night just made me feel
(12:19):
like I can get through all of myworst days.
Like I hope this is my worstday, but also, even if it's not,
I know that things my worstdays.
Like I A, I hope this is myworst day, but also, even if
it's not, I know that thingswill be okay.
And Casey, one of Casey's quotesyou know Mooshin and D Casey
Mullins Okay, her quote, yes,her quote everything will be
okay in the end and if it's notokay, it's not the end that gets
me through.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
So many things too, she is going to love that you
quoted her.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
She is close.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
She's one of my close friends.
She is going to love that youquoted her.
Uh, you know, she is such a agood, such a good soul, right,
and she's, you know, like somany of us, has been through a
lot and has continued topersevere.
What is it that continued toget you through, as you were
(13:10):
trying to talk yourself throughthis minute, this hour, this day
?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yeah, oh, my goodness , what did get me through?
Cause I really feel like Iwhite knuckled that whole thing,
honestly.
Um, I was so scared and then Iguess, oh, I feel like I had to
be very, I had to be verydetached from him.
That was one of my copingmechanisms.
I was scared of him when he wasa preemie.
(13:39):
I was very scared of himbecause I was afraid, like I was
like we have done this much andwe have gotten this far, and if
I touch him and get like germson him, he could get some kind
of infection and die.
So after that I was very afraidto hold on to him.
And so I feel like, yes, a lotof detachment and just being
very more like internallyfocused helped a lot.
(14:02):
And then I just had to have alot of trust in the medical team
, because you know like Godcan't like really send angels to
you or anything like that, butyou have all of these people who
are on your team and they justyeah, so that whole beautiful
network just had me have totrust and have faith.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
And so yeah, sounds as though you were surrounded by
angels on every level.
Yes, for sure.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
So then you take that experience and you're raising
him now.
How, how is he health wise now?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
He is great.
The only time we have issue iswhenever he is actually in,
whenever he actually has asurgery.
So like whenever he was firstborn, we were at the he was very
high risk and we were at thehospital, I want to say weekly,
and then we got weaned likeevery few months and now it is
just one cardiology visit, butlike whenever he had to have
(15:03):
surgery he had more visits andthen he um, I feel like he
wasn't himself and he was in alot of pain kind of sort of for
maybe 10 days, which for me wasvery beautiful and healing to
see, because I was afraid thathe had like lingering medical
trauma and stuff like that.
But really it was like hewhipped back and recovered so
(15:28):
fast and we had hard nightsbecause it was hard to sleep at
night, when he couldn't reallymove and his chest hurt and
stuff.
But other than that he justlives a completely like normal
life.
He keeps up with his brothers,he, yeah, and I also feel like
he's raising me in a lot of ways.
You know, just as the thirdchild, he I I definitely feel
(15:52):
like he's raising me in a lot ofways.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Is there, and I've always believed that my kids are
my greatest teachers, and Ithink that Rex is taking you to
a new level of that entirely.
But are there medically?
Are there other scheduledsurgeries that the doctors have
said when he's 17, he may haveto have this, or is it just he's
(16:16):
good as far as we know?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Yeah, he well.
No, the thing is is, hopefullythe next surgeries that he has
will be in the cath lab.
So they gave him this.
He has a bovine conduit in hisheart and they tried to give him
a large one so that he willhopefully grow to adulthood and
then in the future they can justhandle it in a cath lab where
they go through his ankle andthey're able to dilate it and
(16:40):
make it bigger.
But honestly, I have trust inwhatever has to happen.
Oh, you get that Okay, andwhatever has to happen, um, as
far as he is concerned.
And also, I feel like our kidsare put on this planet to
sometimes stretch us, toadvocate for them in ways that
we didn't advocate for ourselves, and I keep learning that over
(17:03):
and over again.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
And it is beautiful to be able to be this person's
superhero and the person who,like, is the reason why they're
on this earth, you know, and soyou just kind of work together
through all of that, but yeah,so then, let's talk about that,
because you've been hissuperhero and there is an
element of you getting to beyour own advocate, your own
(17:27):
superhero, now as you step intothe rest of your life, the best
of your life, right and I gotchills when you first said that
before we started to talk, andthen I built it into the
beginning of the show, right,because it's yeah, it's the
versions that you and I get tolive now, having gone through
(17:49):
things, we get to choose thebest of our lives.
Exactly what does that looklike for you now and what are
you stepping into?
Tell us about this version ofyou right now that's sitting in
Aspen.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
I know, oh my gosh, it is so surreal.
Okay, so uh, as far as the restof my life being the best of my
life.
So, basically, on the, it wasJanuary, it was new years of
2024.
So from 2023 to 2024, that NewYear's I was in bad shape.
(18:27):
I did not like the way my lifelooked and I wrote down my
biggest dreams of what I wanted.
I wanted to model, I wanted toget back into blogging, I wanted
love Like I wanted all of itbut I was also very afraid to
ask for it, but also I didn'tfeel like it was my place to
tell myself no, and so I decidedto.
(18:49):
What is it?
I found the best modelingagency in Colorado and I
submitted photos to them andthings, and they ended up
looking through all of my onlineportfolio.
They looked through all myYouTube videos and things, and
so whenever I went into thatinterview, I thought that I
(19:11):
needed to impress them.
But really, when I sat down,they were trying to convince me
to join and they were telling meall the good things about the
agency and stuff, and so Isigned with them.
And then that, and then afterthat also, my ex.
He had like a three pack classto a three pack spin class thing
and he wasn't using it and Iwas.
(19:32):
I was very bored and so Idecided to do that one 6am
morning and I got addicted to it, okay, and then I it like it
healed a lot of things in me fora lot of different ways in a
lot of different ways.
But, um, I ended up I had aspin class addiction and from
then to now I released 70 poundsand I just have a much
(19:55):
healthier relationship, I feellike, with food, with my body.
I just always want to be reallystrong and I'm always striving
and I never in a million yearsthought that at 42, I was going
to be modeling, I was going tobe advancing in modeling, and
then also I didn't know that Iwas going to be in the best
shape of my life and then tryingto get better.
(20:16):
You know like it's.
It's really cool, and it's alsoreally cool to see like my kids
be so proud and then they'realso very influenced to live
like a very healthy life justbecause they see me and that,
and so, yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
I love this.
What was the tipping point, doyou think, from?
I don't know that, the tippingpoint from?
I'm unhappy, I don't like mylife to.
Can I ask for somethingdifferent?
Am I allowed to?
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Right, right, it's so , it was so hard, it was, I mean
, a.
It was that mindset of just I'mnot going to tell myself, no,
I'm going to live my best life.
I had to develop a lot ofaudacity, like, honestly, that
is a lot of it.
You know how people say likeyou're Delulu, make it Trellulu.
Like that has been me thiswhole time, and I am always the
(21:12):
most shocked person to be like,wait, that worked out, that
happened and so that's yes,that's totally been.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Yes, you said you're getting ready to walk fashion
week right?
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Yes, yes, I'm getting ready to walk in Aspen fashion
week.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I am so proud of you.
I'm so excited for you.
What has been in in the pastyear let's say what has been the
most surreal.
I actually had the audacity towish for it.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
I actually had the audacity to wish for it.
And here it is yeah, yes, okay,one of them was shooting a
commercial with Peyton Manningand I mean even that also.
The thing was funny was lessthan like 24 hours before I shot
the commercial, I had hadsurgery.
So I had like a labroscopicsurgery to get my tubes tied,
but I didn't tell anybodybecause I was like you know what
(22:05):
I'm going to, I'm going to bean extra, I'm going to be fine,
and I was and but yeah, that wasone of those surreal kind of
moments of yeah, and then I'vejust done so many cool
commercials and photo shoots andlike it's, it's been a lot than
(22:26):
photo shoots and like it's it'sbeen a lot.
And now I'm just really excited, honestly, to integrate that
with what I want to build online.
And you know this VB Chantalthat is debuting, so it's cool.
Tell us about VB.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Chantal.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
All right, vb, chantal, it is for me, a lot of
it is.
I like to live my life like I'mon vacation.
I feel like you should have alife that you don't need to take
a vacation from, basically.
And so and I know, like youknow, we've got kids and all the
things, but at the same time,you can still be fabulous.
(22:59):
Like, honestly, and one of thethings that motivates me to go
to the gym for I think up to nowit's probably like 350 spin
classes One of the things thatmotivates me is like I get to
wear a really cool outfit.
You know, like I get to wearthis like aloe set or whatever,
and then if I decide to go on aweighted vest walk later I can
(23:19):
wear another cool outfit andthen I can also take my little
selfies and stuff my mirrorselfies and like that is
honestly one of the things thatmotivates me.
But honestly it's it's reallythe hill climbs and that's
whenever I channel my Rex energyis whenever we're doing like
the really hard hill climbs, orlike I'm in Aspen right now and
I had to like walk like almostjust straight up for a hike, and
(23:43):
I always, I always tell myselfyou can do anything Like, even
if I don't necessarily, I'm justalways like you can do this,
you can do anything, you can dothis, you can do anything.
And then I also just use likethe kindest voice I can to
myself and that is one of thesuperpowers that I have learned
in all this time Because, as awoman, when you are so outwardly
focused, you don't feel likeyour world is yours.
(24:06):
You know you don't feel likethe main character in your own
story and I know like for me, Ihad to wait 40 years before I
knew I was important, likehonestly.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
You know it's funny that you said that main
character sentence, because forthe longest time I said that I
had a starring role in someoneelse's story and it was really
hard for me to take ownership ofthe fact that I had allowed
that to happen and unwittingly,I mean, it wasn't as though I
(24:44):
was marching along and thinkingI'd love to be your main
character rather than my own.
It was just that I had allowedit to happen and found myself
walking up and down the stairsin my house thinking how did I
get here?
This is not part of the planand this is someone else's story
(25:07):
.
This is someone else's timeline.
This is not what I had plannedand there have been different
pathways that I've had to takein order to get to where I am
now, but this is the truestversion of me that I am.
(25:28):
And as I'm listening to you.
This is one of the thingsthat's so beautifully inspiring
to me about this podcast is that, while I am hoping that it will
meet people where they are, itcontinues to meet me where I am.
(25:49):
Ooh, yes, and I hear you and Ithink for the longest time, I
just wanted somebody to saysomething that inspired me to
want to move and to exercise,and never in my life have I
thought, gosh, I'd really liketo move and you've just said
sentences that made me want tofeel stronger, and that's never
(26:12):
happened before.
So I mean, I'm 10 years olderthan you, right?
So I'm 52.
I'm not in bad shape.
I've just never been superexcited.
I love to feel fabulous, don'tget me wrong, so I can meet you
on that one, but I know that I'mat an age now where I have to
(26:35):
work harder at it.
Oh, yes, and I need to takebetter care of myself.
And hosted a retreat this pastweekend, uh, and we went on a
hike and I did it and I wasproud of myself for doing it,
and one of the women I was withsaid love to move my body, and
(26:58):
I'm always loving to be outsideand I'm thinking I I never say
these things, I never just.
But then I'm listening to youand I'm thinking, okay, I need,
I need more of this type ofenergy in my life.
So it inspires me to find thatin me and I love that, because
(27:23):
we should want to feel like thebest versions of ourselves and
part of what hope comes to.
You're allowed to own it.
Go for it.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
So thank you oh my gosh, you're so welcome.
Yes, and I also I was at apoint in my life where I was
tired of going to therapy.
I was tired of treating myselflike a project that was never
going to be fixed.
Okay, and I still feel like Ido that, but I treat it as
evolutions and I treat it aslevels, you know, and I am
(28:13):
totally happy with jumping toone level before I'm ready and
then just like dealing withmaking it come together.
Basically, but I I came to apoint to where I was very tired
of going to therapy.
I was tired of overthinkingthings and have processing them.
And then then came myconnection with my body, and
(28:34):
whenever you're moving your bodylike that and you're having to
push yourself and you're havingto be present all the time, it
is very easy to work throughlike your stuff is going to come
to the surface and so and thatis the way to deal with it and
that is what I tell people nowalso is I'm like that is my
addiction, like I have a fitnessaddiction and it, and a lot of
it, is because that just is mygo-to stress reliever and it
(28:56):
helps rebalance my nervoussystem and yeah, what would you
say is the most important lessonyou've learned about yourself
in the last couple of years?
Oh, ok, one of the mostimportant things I've learned
about myself is, honestly, Ipart of me feels like it feels
(29:19):
very there's.
It's a different kind of trauma.
I wouldn't say it's, butsometimes, a lot of times, I get
very overwhelmed whenever Ihave hit certain goals and
milestones that maybe I didn'treally think I was going to.
And I'm also surprised all thetime at how, in the toilet, my
self-worth was, honestly, youknow, and when I look in the
(29:39):
mirror right now, I'm just likebaby carl, like you are, so like
it, just yeah, it's been, it'sbeen cool to witness and it's
very surreal, like if it wasn'tmy own life.
I don't know that I wouldnecessarily believe that all of
it was possible, but I'm glad itwas.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Um, yeah, it still is yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Right, exactly, and I'm right now like it is hard
for me to think, like what iflife does get better, you know?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
so pretend, do me a favor and okay, talk to my
listeners like they are yourfriends and you're encouraging
(30:31):
them to have the audacity toassume life is getting better
than yours is right now.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Yeah, okay, my main thing, honestly, would be dress
the part first.
First of all, dress the part,because whenever I look at that
cause I did today whenever Ilooked at that picture of myself
from on February 22nd uh, 2024,and like I was much heavier and
(31:04):
I like at certain angles,whenever you see me, you would
be like, um, what was it?
I don't know.
Whenever I look back at thosepictures, like I see the version
of me that is me, that is rightnow me that I identify with.
And she had her fingers up andshe was just all happy and
pumped and excited for herself.
(31:25):
And I was dressing the part,like I had on this cute like
midriff tank top kind of thingwith my little biker shorts, and
you could not have told me Iwasn't the hottest thing in the
room.
And then, whenever I get likesix months into the fitness
journey, I was like, oh my gosh,I think I might be the hottest
thing in the room, you know, andthen it just kept building on
(31:47):
from there and it's honestly adress the part kind of situation
, like if, like, just put on abeautiful dress and clean your
house and, you know, just reallystart to romanticize your life.
Cause I don't only romanticizemy life and that is a lot saying
being midlife and having dealtwith divorce and having dealt
with, um, just various liketraumatic issues and stuff like
(32:12):
that.
Have after having dealt withthat and then it's yes, there is
you.
I romanticize like everythingthat I can about my life.
I will romanticize it and soand that especially happens with
fitness too.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
So yeah, I love how you have put a romantic spin on
so many things in your life tocontinue to encourage you to
move forward and and dream,dream and and hope and wish.
(32:46):
How do you define hope?
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Ooh, ooh, how do I define hope?
Ugh, I I feel like hope is oneof those things that whispers,
and it's one of those thingsthat it is the thing that you
can't even say out loud becausepeople will think that you're
crazy for believing that hardLike that's.
(33:11):
One of the things that Rex didfor me was because I was
offended when they told me hisdiagnosis and the fact that he
had a prognosis while he wasstill in my stomach.
That really bothered me a lot,and so I feel like that just
having having all of that happenstarted a very deep love affair
(33:34):
with myself, and that has beenwhat it's been, because I spent
at least three and a half yearsnot dating and I was only
focused on myself and my family,but really more myself, and
that's been so healing for me.
So it's like when nobody elseis going to show up for you.
Even if you don't want to sayout loud like I want to be a top
(33:55):
model and I'm, you know, like42 years old, it is, yeah, it's,
it's the self-love will carryyou through every single time.
Like you don't have to tell allyour friends, you don't have to
post to the internet, but justlike put it out there, dress the
part, walk into the room likeyou own the place, get yourself
some main character energy andgo for it Because, honestly, it
(34:17):
is your world.
You know, like you are thecenter of the world, as you know
, you are the only Danielle,you're the only.
I'm the only, I'm the onlychance Valerie has to see this
whole earth, and I want to seeall of that.
And in the past I would havebeen kind of like, oh, I don't
know if I should say that outloud, but it's like no baby girl
, like we can do this, and soand I have been and yeah, yeah,
(34:40):
I'm honestly very excited andI've gotten to a point to where
I'm done grieving.
I'm done grieving the past.
I'm done grieving the divorceand what I thought my life was
going to be, and I am veryexcited about the unknown and I
just love being in that kind ofspace.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
How much of your experience with Rex and you
being offended by the doctorshaving the audacity to tell you
that he might not be okay, doyou think, informs the fact that
you said no, no, no, no, I willnot stand for what you tell me.
I'm going to stand for what Iknow.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Yeah, oh, that was the scariest thing, because I
always want to be the.
I always want to be able tohand a problem to a professional
and say fix it.
When those professionals lookat you and they say this is you
know, there's no chance, andthey're they don't want to sell
you hope at all, and I I didn't.
(35:50):
I felt like they were on myteam but at the same time they
were trying to be very realisticand I was like we don't have
time for realistic here.
This is my child on the lineand so, and I was just willing
to hang with him.
I was like little guy on theline and so, and I was just
willing to hang with him.
I was like little guy you know,like, and I would talk to him
like this, like if and at firstI thought he was a girl too,
(36:12):
because they originally thoughthe was a girl, and at first
that's where I pulled mystrength from.
I was like I got to show herwhat women are like.
But anyway, aside from that, um, yeah, yeah, having to then
just completely go out into theunknown and never know for
however many like nine weeks andthen even longer after that if
he was going to survive.
Yeah, that is that.
(36:33):
I feel like that was where Iwas birthed.
Really a big lesson in hope.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
It also sounds to me like you learned to rely on
yourself.
It was something that you knewand our inner knowing.
And if your inner knowing isgoing to guide you, when the
professionals say I'm sorry,valerie, I don't know, I can't
(37:02):
no promises here, and there's apiece of you that says, oh no,
I'm sorry, valerie, I don't know, I can't no promises here, and
there's a piece of you that says, oh no, I know and you're right
.
If you're right about that, youcan be right about all things
about you.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Yes and I that's so powerful and I feel like that's
the kind of thing that, like JoeDispenza tries to tell people
and it's, but it's really harduntil you have to go through it,
you know, until you're at yourlike rock bottom moment and and
like I had so many times, likein marriage, like what was it in
(37:36):
marriage?
Just the quiet when everybody'sasleep and you're on the floor
in the bathroom just like crying, like torrential downpour of
like what happened, that sort ofthing, and then that little
inner knowing just comes throughto help you and give you a
little boost and be gentle withyou.
That was another thing that Ilearned on my journey.
(37:57):
Whenever I was living by myself,I started taking care of myself
like a mother would take careof her children, and I became
fiercely protective of myselfand it has served me so well,
because the world can break yourheart, but you don't break your
own heart Like nope, nope, nope, nope.
And I also get very, I get verytriggered whenever people don't
(38:18):
like advocate for themselvesand things like that, cause I'm
like you're your only hope.
Nobody else is going to do thisexcept for you, and so, yeah,
you can pull a lot of strengthfrom that, but truly, yes, just
don't believe.
You don't have, you don't haveto subscribe and believe to
everything that people tell you.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
No, I I couldn't agree more, because I think that
it's so important that we areour own advocates.
And I love that you saidaudacity earlier, because I
think that we would be wellserved to have more audacity.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Oh yes.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
To have the audacity to believe that we can, To.
When your inner knowing servesyou up a question or makes you
(39:21):
feel imposter-esque, what do yousay to her?
Speaker 1 (39:26):
Oh, my goodness, I'm so glad you brought that up,
cause I do feel imposter-esque alot of the time.
I think we all do right.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Especially when things go well right, when the
when you're in the commercialwith Peyton Manning and you
think am I supposed to be here,right?
Does everybody know how?
old I am Right, and I, I havethose moments too.
I mean, I, I have themregularly and I, you know, I
(39:56):
spoke to a gentleman earlier whowas telling me that he wrote a
book and he showed me the bookand he said you know, this was
my, my 13th book, and when Iwrote it I put it back in the
cabinet and I left it there for12 years.
And I said you put your 13thbook back in the cabinet for 12
years and then when it came out,it was a bestseller.
What?
What about?
(40:17):
Your 13th book made yousuddenly think that you weren't
an author, right?
What is it about?
We can have a tremendous amountof success and then suddenly
find ourselves thinking no,today I'm not an author.
Today I'm not a model.
Today I don't have the abilityto get on camera and speak.
(40:38):
Today I'm a terrible mother.
Whatever it is that we do, well, the doubt creeps in.
What do you say to your loudestvoice of doubt when it starts
to find its way in?
Speaker 1 (41:04):
I was backstage and I was about to walk through Lisa
Marie Couture and I almost had apanic attack because I was like
if the, if your younger selfknew that this was what you were
going to be doing at 42, likeliving this kind of dream.
But I immediately turned itinto those, that nervous feeling
.
I was like this is just youbeing excited and you are going
to enjoy having every single eyeon you and you're going to walk
as slow and as graceful and aspowerfully as possible and it
works.
And then the next fashion week,I ended up modeling three looks
(41:26):
.
I made Denver Fashion Weekhistory because I modeled three
looks in the same show for adesigner and in the fact it
healed so many things in my body.
Because she was like you havethe perfect curves for bridal
wear and I was like, okay, I'mlike a bridal wear.
That that's a little strangejust because of my weird
feelings about marriage, likethe fact that I excel in this.
(41:47):
I was like you know, this isthe best time you get to rock
this kind of dress.
You know, like you wear three,seven thousand dollar gowns.
You didn't have to pay forphotography and makeup and hair
and I was with all of thesebeautiful women everywhere yes,
exactly, and I was justsurrounded by all these other
beautiful bridal models andstuff and so and that was, and
(42:10):
so whenever I am having thoselittle fraud moments, I was like
no, you have worked too hard,sister, for all of this.
And that is also the fact thatthe way that I have worked to
become who I am now, it reallyit really makes it easy to
discern, like, what people youshould be hanging out with,
(42:32):
because if they don't see mywork, then I am like absolutely
not, goodbye, you're blocked,like you're done.
And having that yeah, havingthat honestly, has helped me so
much.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
See, that's extraordinary too, because
that's a place.
So you're, you're there earlierthan I was Right, oh, really.
Oh, that's shocking to me.
Well, because one of the thingsthat my ex-husband used to say
to me and again, jeff and I arevery good friends, but he always
said to me Danielle, yourexpectations of people are too
high, because I would expectpeople to treat me the way I
(43:07):
treated them, and when theydidn't, I was always so
disappointed, and what Irealized in my later years is
that I require friendships thatmatch my energy.
I require and it's funny becauseI wrote a blog post about this
years ago about having friendswho are cheerleaders I require
(43:28):
cheerleading friends.
I require people who are and Ihave raised Delaney to recognize
this as well that you have tohave people in your life who
will be as excited for you asyou are.
So if I can't celebrate you atFashion Week in Aspen later,
(43:57):
because my first reaction is, ohwell, that sounds cool as
compared to oh my God, I can'twait to see the pictures.
Yeah, right, you are going torocket.
Wow, you deserve that.
Even if there was a piece of methat thought, damn, I'd love to
do that.
Those two things can exist atthe same time.
I can remember years ago, yearsago.
(44:19):
So Audrey and I did a lot ofthe same work in the blogging
world.
Right, yeah, yes, before I everdid any type of red carpet work
, audrey was the first one to doit, and both things existed at
the same time.
I thought, damn, I would loveto do something red carpet and
(44:40):
God, I'm so excited for her.
And those two emotionsgenuinely existed at the same
time.
Yes, not, I can't believe theywould pick her and not me.
Really and truly, there wasnone of that from me, because I
want people to succeed, becauseher getting to do it meant that
(45:01):
that actually existed as anopportunity, exactly.
Yeah, that's what that means tome.
You being in Fashion Week inyour 40s means that there are
opportunities for otherbeautiful women to do this.
It means that they're not onlylooking for 20 year olds.
This should be an amazing,extraordinary thing for other
(45:23):
people, and so I hope thatyou're surrounding yourself by
other people who are celebratingthat for you.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
Yes, I am, and I honestly feel like.
I feel like jealousy to me isan opportunity for me to examine
that dream for myself, because,honestly, I saw another mom at
my kid's school who she had beena pageant queen and she had a
different trajectory, but weworked for the same um, what our
(45:53):
kids go to the same school.
And then we also worked for thesame modeling agency and I was
like you know what?
I can go walk down a red carpettoo.
All I have to do is apply andso, and now we are the biggest
cheerleaders for each otheronline, and it was.
It was one of those things,instead of letting jealousy be a
block and being like, oh no,only Lauren can do that because
she was Miss Columbia, no, I cando that too, and I tell myself
(46:18):
and I just go along.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Yes, exactly, that is fantastic.
What is your next big dream?
What can we hope for for you?
Speaker 1 (46:27):
Oh, my goodness, my next big dream.
It's hard for me to decide, butI'm realizing now, also talking
to you, that I don't necessarilyhave to decide because I really
want to just like rebirth myonline, like as Vivi Chantal, as
(46:49):
the person I'm stepping into.
Like I had to give her a newname, even one that I'm not all
the way comfortable with, but Ilove it.
But I had to give it a new namebecause it helps me to detach
more from, like Valerie Rowecamp, you know, and so, um, yes,
my next hope for myself is thatI get just even further, just
(47:12):
blow the water off of whateveris possible for me as far as
modeling goes, like I am readyto receive that and the same
thing with love, and then also,yeah, with modeling and
especially with influencer stuff, because that's where my heart
is, like I have said in the past, like I want to start a
divorcee.
Sorority is basically the way Ifeel about it, honestly.
(47:36):
But yeah, yeah, that is prettymuch what's going for.
I'm so glad you asked that,because sometimes now I get
afraid to ask myself thosequestions because I know I know
what I'm capable of and I'm like, what if I don't know what I'm
capable of, you know, and so Ijust give myself that much space
and I just let myself just youknow surprise myself.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Well, I have loved having you here shining your
light and and just being such abright, beautiful presence.
Um, I encourage people who arelistening to jump on YouTube and
just see your bright, beautifulpresence as well, because
people can do both they canlisten to the podcast, but they
(48:21):
can also see it on YouTube.
So yeah, and Instagram, I'mprobably more on Instagram, but
I am resurrect.
I'm working on more YouTube too.
I meant just for this podcast,but yes, that is.
Oh okay, yes, oh yes, sorry,find you, yeah, find you, yeah.
Yes, everyone can find me.
I am charmed.
Valerie on.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Instagram, Everyone can find me.
I am charmedvalerie onInstagram and then on YouTube
you can find me.
If you look up Valerie Roe Campor charmedvalerie, you'll find
me there.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
That is amazing.
I'm so excited to see what youdo next.
Thank you for being here withme tonight.
It has been such a delight andso good to see your face again
after so long.
I will be watching along to seewhat you do next.
See your face again after solong.
I will be watching along to seewhat you do next.
And, friends, thank you onceagain for being here for this
(49:11):
episode of Hope Comes to Visit.
As always, I so hope we met youwhere you are today and that
this version of love and lightand hope was exactly what you
needed, and I hope that you willfind someplace somewhere to
share this with someone you love, and I hope that it meets them
exactly where they are as welland encourages you guys to have
(49:32):
the audacity you deserve.
Yes, until next time.
Take good care of you and thankyou for being here with us.
Naturally, it's important tothank the people who support and
sponsor the podcast.
This episode is supported byChris Dulley, a trusted criminal
(49:52):
defense attorney and friend ofmine here in St Louis, who
believes in second chances andsolid representation.
Whether you're facing a DWI,felony or traffic issue, chris
handles your case personallywith clarity, compassion and
over 15 years of experience.
When things feel uncertain, ithelps to have someone steady in
your corner.
Call 314-384-4000 or314-DUI-HELP, or you can visit
(50:18):
DulleyLawFirmcom to scheduleyour free consultation.
Popular Podcasts
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com