October 27, 2024 • 62 mins
What does it mean to find hope and resilience amid life's darkest moments? Journey with us as I sit down with Cecily Relucio, whose story of overcoming adversity is both gut-wrenching and inspiring. Cecily opens up about her parents' immigration from the Philippines to a predominantly white, rural town in Illinois during the mid-1960s, facing cultural alienation and the harsh realities of living in a Sundown Town. She also shares her personal experiences with gender-based violence and the trauma of witnessing her mother's abuse, all while maintaining an unyielding pursuit of safety, love, and community.
Cecily's powerful narrative doesn't stop at personal hardship. She delves into the broader implications of structural violence, gaslighting, and the pervasive influence of colonial and imperial systems carried through her bloodline in the US. Her journey of recognizing her own agency amid adversity is a testament to the transformative power of self-love and community. We explore the critical role of reclaiming indigenous knowledge and fostering connections to land and life as sacred, linking personal empowerment to collective resistance against systemic oppression.
In this episode, Cecily also reveals the significance of reclaiming ancestral wisdom for liberation. She discusses her work of founding Umuwi and the crucial role of ethnic studies in developing critical consciousness. We talk about the necessity for BIPOC educators to practice decolonized, re-indigenized ways of knowing and the importance of creating spaces of safety, connection, and wholeness. Lastly, we reflect on the value of divine guidance, community support, and self-mastery in the healing process, drawing inspiration from the historical solidarity between Black and Brown communities. Join us for a profound conversation about resilience, agency, and the power of collective care and storytelling.
F.L.Y. L.I.B.R.E. a guide for healing and liberation can be purchased here: amzn.to/4iCzAAM
Get Dr. McBride's book "Becoming Changemakers" to explore more stories of resilience and community transformation. Connect with the Become Center at becomecenter.org or email dmcbride@becomecenter.org.
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Episode Transcript
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Jose Rico (00:00):
Buenas familia, soy Jose, Rico or Rico, if you know
me from the hood.
Thank you so much for yourattention today.
It means everything to me and Iwant to welcome you to Hope
Dealer, which is a podcast aboutour journey towards hope,
resilience and joy through thestories that we carry about our
(00:22):
return home, and my intentionfor our time together is to
remind us that we carry powerfulmedicine within us that is our
guide to our transformation.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
I am so grateful to be able tointroduce you to incredible
people, incredible spirits thatwill share their journeys with
(00:46):
us.
All right, everyone.
Welcome again to anotherepisode.
This is actually the secondepisode of Hope Dealer and this
(01:10):
is a podcast about the journeytowards hope, resilience and joy
through our stories ofreturning home.
And, as you got a sense from thefirst podcast where you heard a
little bit about my story, gota sense from the first podcast
where you heard a little bitabout my story, my intention is
really to be able to provide aspace with listeners and guests
(01:31):
to connect with themselves andallow for their story or
spiritual transformation.
Come through and hopefullyyou'll hear it in the voice that
they're sharing this out ofdeep generosity and love.
Today, we are coming bybeautiful trees, obviously, the
(02:06):
lake animals everywhere and justa beautiful sound of cicadas
that you cannot hear.
But many of you in the Midwestare very familiar by now and
just want to be able to shareour surroundings with you, and
(02:27):
one of the reasons why I wantedto do this podcast was because I
wanted to have heart-to-heartconversations with people that I
love, with people that I admireand with people that I've
learned a great deal from, andso I was very excited.
I am very excited that thefirst person that you're going
(02:50):
to listen to is my compañera andguest, Cecily Emperio de Lucio,
who I'm just so glad to be ableto be collaborating with her
today.
I want to be able to becollaborating with her today.
I want to be able to just sharewhat I have been able to learn
(03:11):
from her, but for her to be ableto share that with you.
So welcome, Amor.
Cecily Relucio (03:17):
Thanks for having me.
Jose Rico (03:20):
You know I want to start real quick just for you to
tell your story and, as part ofthe background right, I've
actually had the privilege toknowing your story as a witness
both your personal and yourprofessional transformation over
the past few years, from youknow your childhood story where
(03:49):
you grew up in Coast City, allthe way to right now creating
this incredible organization,mui, and creating that community
.
So if you can, just by way ofintroduction, you know, tell us
a little bit about your story,where you grew up, you know who
your family was and what do youthink is important for people to
know about you to actually geta sense, for them to know who
you are?
Cecily Relucio (04:12):
Thank you for the opportunity.
So I am the daughter of Perlitaand Gerio and Wendo and Sil.
They are immigrants from thePhilippines.
They immigrated in themid-1960s and the borders were
(04:34):
opened up to many people of theAsian diaspora.
My father was who attendedmedical school and um was able
to come to the US on a visa tocomplete a training that
(04:56):
actually was part of the programof extracting labor from our
motherland was to train ourpeople to live and serve in the
diaspora.
So my parents immigrated toChicago.
My father came first and thenmy mother followed a couple
(05:19):
years later and my older sisterwas born in Chicago and then I
was born in Chicago and then,when I was two years old, my
parents went to a little town innorthern Illinois called Bay
City, illinois, again part ofthis sort of workforce program
(05:42):
where foreign medical graduateswould be placed in various towns
and cities across the US.
I don't know the full story ofhow we ended up there, so a
little bit of context.
Full City is a rural,predominantly white town.
(06:03):
There were a handful of mexicanimmigrant families, one other
biracial, korean and whitefamily, no black family, which
was the early 1970s, and Ialways just had the sense that
(06:23):
we did not belong, the messaging, the way that people would talk
to me, the way that peoplewould talk about my family were
that we were foreigners, that myparents had funny accents and
just everything about how thatwas so forward of who we were,
(06:49):
our culture, our language, ourways of being were alien.
I learned much later as anadult that the town where I grew
up is on the Sundown TownRegistry.
Town where I grew up is on theSundown Town Registry.
(07:09):
If you are not familiar withSundown Towns, they are towns
that enacted anti-Black violenceand lynching against Black
people.
So boom, porn listing.
And so when I learned that muchlater as an adult, it just made
a lot of what I experienced inmy and was still carrying and
(07:30):
holding in my body and in mypsyche um make a whole lot of
sense, um about the context inwhich I um.
So a lot of my experience inthat community was just about
survival, and part of how Ilearned how to survive was to
stay small, to be silenced, tobe invisible.
(07:54):
For the most part, although Ican look back on myself as a
young people, young person, andalso understand that I I had a
really strong will to be and tofeel safe, uh, to be and to feel
(08:15):
loved, to feel connection, tofeel belonging.
Um, even in a landscape likethe one that I just described, I
am so.
Not only would the environmentin which I raised really confuse
and are really alienating,disorienting and sometimes
(08:36):
hostile, I also experienced alot of that in my home life.
So I'm a survivor ofgender-based violence.
I am a survivor of vicarioustrauma, growing up witnessing my
(08:58):
mother be physically,emotionally, mentally abused by
my father and also witnessingthat and sometimes intervening
in it when my sister isunaccompanied.
(09:27):
Yeah, I'm just pausing becauseI'm learning how to practice,
not just bypassing the weight ofmy own experiences.
I'm sharing, sharing you, yeah,and to just honor all those
(09:47):
younger versions of myself thatlearned how to survive, and not
just to survive, to heal and tobe enjoying pleasure, feel
embodied and full.
A lot of my experience, of myhealing journey, my spiritual
(10:10):
journey, has been about healingall of those other selves who
had to survive Really reallychallenging circumstances and
learn how to transform all ofthat suffering into purpose,
into love, into milk.
(10:35):
It's an understanding of thenature of my own healing journey
and what I can offer to othersas I accompany, you know, as we
accompany each other in ourhealing journeys.
Yeah, I'm, even through allthat you know, even through all
(11:02):
of those forces and Godsituations that you know, even
through all of those forces andsituations and circumstances
that shaped me.
Something I can realize now islove has always been present in
(11:22):
some form.
Right, whether it was, love hasalways been present in some
form, whether it was the love ofmy mother or my sisters or
extended family cousins, thelove of a handful of teachers
who really did love me, you knowwhite women who extended care,
(11:50):
who extended safety and refuge,who could see something in me
even when I couldn't see it inmyself or those aspects and
dimensions of myself weren'tbeing affirmed.
And I think that had a lot todo with my decision to become a
(12:13):
teacher, to become an educator,because of the loving care that
I was able to receive and be thebeneficiary and be the
beneficiary.
Yeah, I think I am 53, justturned 53.
(12:40):
It's been a beautiful and verycomplicated and sometimes very
isolating and very lonely andscary journey.
Very complicated and sometimesvery isolating and very lonely
and scary journey.
But I can reflect back on a lotof that now from the place
where I'm at and see myself asalways being connected in some
way to what our nervous systemsare called to do.
(13:01):
Our nervous systems are wiredfor connection, for belonging,
for safety, for love, and I cansee all of my younger selves and
look back at them now with loveand compassion and deep, deep
gratitude for the ways that theyhave always been seeking and
(13:25):
never stop seeking, but all thethings that we need in order to
survive and to thrive.
That's human being, and Ireally think that my connection
to my own vitality and my ownlife force has been the constant
(13:49):
in terms of what has providedlike, what has been the driving
force, Seeking meaning andpurpose from all of these
experiences.
Jose Rico (14:08):
Thank you for sharing such personal and painful parts
of your history, but also beingable to read the resistance and
the love that comes with that,and from that you know I
resistance and the love thatcomes with that, and from that
you know I.
To hear you say that you haveshrunk yourself, that you are
(14:33):
quiet, that you're demure.
It's almost a polar opposite ofhow I know you as as strong, as
loving, as always being a voicefor injustice.
So you know it's good for us toknow that that happens and that
(14:55):
that is a transformation.
So I really appreciate yousharing where you are and where
you are now.
I think that's important for usto understand and I think one
of the things that I you know.
What I want to go a little bitdeeper in is that you know my
(15:15):
researching of you.
This transformation obviouslyhappened in different parts of
your life and there weredifferent people or different
circumstances.
Whether it was your first gradeteacher saw you in a classroom,
or whether it was a moment inyour workplace where you had to
(15:40):
stand up for yourself.
What could you share with usabout any one of those moments
and what that transformationsaid about you that you knew was
always there, but at thatmoment you claimed it.
So what are those moments toyou as you really reflect right
(16:01):
now?
What do those moments mean toyou that you really lack right
now?
Cecily Relucio (16:06):
what do those moments mean to you One?
You know, when I talk about andI share my story, I think it's
really important to talk aboutsurvivorhood.
I think it's really importantfor me as a woman, as a woman of
color, as a P of color, as aPinay, as a member of the
(16:29):
Filipino diaspora, because whatI've found is what in me,
talking about that and talkingabout how that all had shaped me
, I realized that it offersothers permission to share
things that they don't talkabout, things that we don't talk
(16:52):
about, that we then shamefosters guilt, it fosters the
abandonment of our woundedhearts.
(17:14):
And so I found that every timeI talk about it, what it opens
up and what it allows space forin the conversation are other
women's stories of the violencethey have experienced.
And I think I'm pretty surethat I don't know a single woman
(17:39):
of color who doesn't have astory of violence that they've
experienced, oftentimes in theirfamily of origin, oftentimes
that they, you know, perpetratedby a male family member, and
(18:00):
also oftentimes in intimatepartner situations.
You know, so I think, for a lotof folks, young folks who do
justice and liberation work,oftentimes they'll have stories
about.
You know, I got into organizing, like on my campus or as a
(18:23):
young person, you know,organizing around issues that
were impacting my community.
And for me, I think my journeyand my understanding of justice
and healing and liberationreally began in my family origin
.
My mother transitioned tohaving me claim to the ancestral
(18:46):
plane the day after my 24thbirthday and I have a younger
sister and she was 14 at thetime and before my mother, the
(19:24):
week when she was about 16 or 17years old, I was in therapy for
the first time, talking with atherapist very matter-of-factly
about the violence, the abusethat was present in my childhood
(19:52):
home.
And the therapist stopped meand she said, she asked me and
I'm kind of bowing do youunderstand that that's not
normal or entropy?
And I was the first time I hadever heard that or even
considered that something elsewas possible.
(20:17):
It was so normalized from whatI had experienced.
And then the second question,in a line of conversation that I
remember her posing, was askingme about my younger sister and
whether or not she was beingabused.
(20:37):
And did I understand that I wasan adult and I could intervene?
All of that was completely.
It was so much dissonance anadult and I couldn't intervene.
All of that was completely somuch dissonance and so much like
it woke me up because I had notrecognized that as a 26 or 27
(21:00):
year old that I actually hadagency to confront my father and
to intervene and to stop fullcycle of abuse in the family.
And so sometime shortly afterthat conversation the universe
is wise in terms of the messagesthat it gives us my father
(21:27):
called me.
It was probably 9 o'clock atnight and he told me to come to
the house it's our home city, Iwas living in Chicago To come
get my sister, because if Ididn't he might kill me.
And so I did.
(21:47):
I scared the shit out of me.
I didn't know what I was doing.
I just knew that that was whatwas needed, something at the
time.
So I made the drive with mypartner at the time and we
(22:10):
picked her up and we brought herback to the city.
Um, and I knew that that wouldnot be enough.
And so over the course of thenext few days I talked to a
(22:32):
bunch of people and again theuniverse is wide my sister, my
younger sister's boyfriend atthe time.
His mother was a guardian, acourt guardian for known people,
and she talked with me throughthe process, and so I reported
(22:58):
him.
I went to the school, the schoolthat I attended high school, at
the school that I'm sure peopleviewed as the model family you
know, all these doctors,children successful by a lot of
measures and I went to thepeople who were running the
(23:21):
school, many of whom were myhigh school teachers, and I told
them what was happening, and Itold them that they needed to
report him to DTF child services.
Wow, and so I, you know yeah,there's so much more I could say
(23:46):
about that time but I thinkthat for me, was this moment
where, as an adult, I not onlyrecognized right, the injustice
and the violence, but I was ableto tap into my agency and I was
able to be surrounded by theright people at the right time
(24:10):
who could support me throughreally unfamiliar territory to
get our family to a better place.
One of my high school teachersagreed to take my student so
that she wouldn't have to goback, and so we were really able
(24:31):
to just change the trajectoryof my sister's life and of our
family's life in a very real way, and I think that for me, you
know, it's in my, you know, mid,late 20s when I recognized,
(24:53):
like I began to fully step intomy courage when I was like
change and some you know changeof being, hence I interact back
once in a while.
Jose Rico (25:07):
So those and you know change of being would have
changed Iraq back in 2009 sothose like you, like you were
mentioning those, the momentswhen you decided and you were
called upon to take theseactions and you had the universe
and other people theresupporting you.
(25:31):
You know, I think oftentimeswhen we talk about our own
awakening or consciousness, wetalk about it from an external
political perspective andoftentimes we don't see how that
relates to our own personal andfamilial circumstances and,
(25:56):
like you mentioned earlier, theneed to be able to obviously see
the parallels but also learnthose lessons.
And I think that it's veryinstructive, right, because you
know, oftentimes in ourconversations, when we talk
(26:16):
about the political world andwhat's happening at this moment,
you know these moments, thelast five certain years I always
see that you have not just apolitical understanding of
things but a relationalunderstanding.
(26:37):
I think that, I think, isreally important whenever we try
to analyze what's going on,whenever we try to analyze
what's going on and I reallyenjoyed our conversations about
what would happen if, because alot of it is based on your
understanding of the relationaldynamics of power and violence
(27:03):
right, given that, I want toactually move towards that in a
broader context right, in termsof what you've learned, have you
stepped into, uh, into yourpower.
Uh, you know, if you could shareyour thoughts about the moments
that we're living in right nowand how the structural violence
(27:30):
and the gaslighting andeverything that we're facing as
folks, that I mean you know theway I look at this is that I
mean, you know the way I look atthis is that this colonial
project is still hell bent oneradicating us and we're still
(27:54):
hell bent on not allowing thatto happen.
Right, so we're still inconflict.
From your perspective, from thework that you do, from the
community of people you're inrelationship with, how do you
see this moment and what is itthat you think you and the
(28:14):
community you represent arecalled to do at this moment?
Cecily Relucio (28:19):
Yeah, I'm still kind of working through this
understanding that's come to mein recent weeks, and it's not a
new understanding.
I feel like I'm just movinginto a different relationship
with you.
(28:40):
Know, all of these systems ofdomination, beginning with
imperialism, right globalconquest, various forms of
colonialism, settler colonialism, zionism as a form of settler
colonialism, us settlercolonialism all the different
(29:02):
types, capitalism, racialcapitalism, neoliberalism all of
these systems that are drivenby and rooted in a logic and a
practice of domination, violence, extraction, subjugation, are
(29:29):
all about the desire toeradicate the indigenous, what
is indigenous to us and all ofus are indigenous, all of us,
even white people, can traceback their indigeneity, their
(29:49):
indigenous ways of knowing theirrelationship to land and life
as sacred.
All of us can trace that back.
But all of these systems ofdomination have to erase and
(30:09):
eradicate and devalue andsubjugate what is indigenous and
what's our indigenousknowledges and what is the being
, in order to continue and inorder to get us to buy into it,
get people to to continue and inorder to get us to buy into it,
(30:30):
get people to buy into it.
And so I'm really thinkingabout the way in which that
connects to what is happeningright now in Gaza in now, in
Gaza, in Sudan, in Congo, inHaiti, all of it is about trying
(31:00):
to sever us from our ancestry,from our culture, from the land,
from each other, fromrelational ways of being and an
understanding of the sacredworth of all life.
And so that's, you know, that'swhat the Zionist project is,
(31:30):
and so I'm really thinking aboutthe ways in which Palestine is
freeing me by helping me be in adifferent relationship and not
expanded in a deep relationshipto my understanding.
And so, for me, the work ofethnic studies, which is what my
(31:53):
organization, uluwi, ethnicStudies Uluwi means to return
home and to follow, which is oneof my mother tones.
Yes, the history, the historyof the social movement, the
recentering of our first-personnarratives, building our
(32:16):
critical consciousness aroundhow these systems of domination
operate and how we have resistedthem for centuries.
I think all of that isimportant, and what we need to
be practicing all day, every day, is an indigenously centered
(32:38):
way of being in relationshipwith ourselves, being in
relationship with each other,having those relationships in
our families, not just out inthe world.
Right, because thatcontradiction, that
contradiction, thatdisconnection, you know, we can
(33:03):
be in struggles for justice, butif we are still treating each
other in extractive, competitiveways that are about separation
and binaries, right, we're stillnot moving in a way that we did
.
What I believe is the antidoteand the way forward through all
(33:26):
of it is the return to ourindigenous and you know that
understanding has been informedby a lot of people, it's been
informed by you, it's beeninformed through study and
through practice.
And you know that's where Iwant have realized, that's where
I want to need and being calledto spend my time.
(33:49):
You know, I think studies arethe pathway for reclaiming and
recentering and practicingdecolonized, re-indigenizing
ways of being in relationshipwith each other, in relationship
with the man and with our ownselves.
(34:15):
You know, sometimes, you know,I think, it can be some of the
hardest work.
Jose Rico (34:22):
So you called, you called Uma Wee, your toddler,
your toddler that sometimesyou're behind and chasing, and
for me it's been great seeing apassion project turn into
something real and can affect somany people.
(34:45):
And I've seen it as you makinga call to action and right away
you've already.
You wanted to create this as ahome place for educators.
Tell us what is the call toaction that you are, that you're
(35:07):
making for BIPOC educators andwhy do we need it?
Yeah, yeah.
Cecily Relucio (35:13):
So I've been sitting for several months with
just a question in my spirit ofwhat is the name of the new
organization going to be.
And then I was listening to apodcast or a talk, a recorded
(35:40):
talk between Sonia Renee Taylorand Adrienne Marie Brown, and
they opened the conversation bytalking about home and the
relationship to home.
And then that's when Iremembered, right, how important
returning home and creatinghome has been, like, you know, a
(36:04):
call and a theme in my life.
And so I did a bunch ofGoogling, because I lost my
mother tongue to try tounderstand different ways to you
know, words that have home asmeaning, and I came across holy
and I loved that it was a verb,that it was about.
(36:27):
You know that it's constantlyemotional.
It's a practice, right ofreturning home.
And then I found Dr LennyMendoza Strobel's writings on
decolonization.
She has an exact quote on whatit means to return home, and she
(36:47):
has an exact quote on what itmeans to return home.
And so returning home isreturning, you know,
intellectually, emotionally,spiritually, to our ancestors,
to our motherlands, to ourdecolonized and indigenized ways
of knowing before we werecolonized.
(37:08):
It's a return to that state,and even if we cannot fully
return home.
It's the work of seeking touncover and to reclaim who we
really are, our truest, mosthighest essence and form, who we
would be if we hadn't arrivedhere on Turtle Island, you know,
(37:34):
whether that was by force or bychoice.
So, and then we, you know, kindof, one of our sayings is that
ethnic studies is a home placeand the understanding of home
place comes from the writing ofVal Hooks.
It comes from a Black feministradical tradition.
(37:56):
That is about what Black womenunder you know, chattel slavery
in the US.
Us and many, many colonizedpeoples have done, which, again,
is what our nervous systems arewired to do, which is create
safety, create connection,create wholeness together, even
(38:20):
if it's temporary, even if wecan be displaced from those home
places, even if that making ofhome place comes at a price.
Right that we understand thatthat is our, you know, we have a
.
It's our right, it's our divineright to have those things and
(38:42):
to you know and to see that actof resistance, and you know, an
act of resistance and love andjoy, even within extremely
oppressive conditions.
So you know, school, usschooling, is a site and
(39:06):
structure of a lot of violence.
It's a colonial project.
Lots of people have studiedthis and written about it.
It was never made for folks thatthe US Empire wants to
(39:28):
subjugate, right, it's aninstrument of our subjugation,
and so I think that the call forcritically conscious,
justice-centered educators is toheed that call to return home,
(39:50):
a call that I believe that ourancestors keep trying to follow
back and to help us to rememberand to reclaim our power.
You know, I think that the callis to resist and to refuse what
the us human project wants us todo, which is to police yellow,
(40:16):
black and brown bodies to police, to surveil, to contain, uh, to
assimilate uh, yellow, blackpeople, um, into their you
people, into the place that wewere meant to hold in US society
, and to infuse all of that,oftentimes in a subversive way,
(40:43):
by creating something elseentirely, which are spaces of
love and collective care andtruth-telling and the practice
of collective values.
You know, I think of ethnicstudies as decolonizing studies,
(41:03):
solidarity studies and, as youknow, an inherently insurgent
project, and so it's figuringout who's down to do that and
then us swatting up and havingeach other's back and engaging
(41:27):
in study and care and fasting,so that we can sustain these
commitments in the face ofempire which does not want us to
engage in.
Jose Rico (41:47):
So that's a big call to action, but I think what you
know, what caught my attentionis when you refer to the call to
action being informed by ourancestors.
Right, and one thing I'velearned in my practice in order
(42:13):
to be aligned and to listen andto hear what they say, you have
to be able to be still enoughand open enough and have to get
your ego out of the way as muchas possible.
So one of the areas that I dowant to go in a little bit is
(42:43):
what are those ways and thosepractices and knowings that you
have that allow you to be ableto listen to your ancestors, but
also for you to manifest thethings that you want to manifest
in your life?
(43:03):
In your life?
What are those practices thatgive you hope and that allow you
to make this assertion aboutwhat you think is necessary for
our liberation?
Cecily Relucio (43:25):
I think for me, yeah, it really has evolved a
lot over time, you know, and I Ithink that the constant have
been well, I think that I am areflective person and think that
(43:52):
I, at many points in my journey, that I've engaged in some
critical self-reflection and Ifeel that is what has led me to
therapy.
I've done talk therapy for plus20 years in general forms, you
(44:15):
know.
I feel like it has led me tothe things that I've read and
conversations that I've had withpeople.
It has been my desire tounderstand, to make new loans
and to confront the traditionsof my life when I felt out of my
(44:40):
mind, felt dissatisfaction,felt no, it's to like really to
understand what is that about?
What is the sense ofsatisfaction that I feel?
That you know why am I goingthrough this period of
(45:03):
depression, that I don't want tomedicate and not work with them
.
So I think for me that has beenone of the things and it's led
me to, you know, a lot ofdifferent practices, my current
(45:24):
practice that I've been engagedin last three or so years and I
work with a holistic healthpractitioner who engages a lot
of different practices and youknow I came upon that we'll get
(45:44):
into a lot of differentpractices that we need, and you
know I came upon that and thatpractice found meaning during
one of the most overwhelminglydifficult times in my life.
That's why during the pandemic,about a year into it, when my
(46:08):
daughter was experiencingmultiple mental health crises
and hospital elevation, you knowthat I can't even say that I
fully understand.
But you look at the conditionsof wildlife during that time and
one year in the middle of apandemic and shit was scary and
(46:34):
young people were cut off fromtheir friends, from their social
circles, from just all.
You know anything thatresembled their life prior to.
You know anything thatresembled the life prior to.
You know the field war shutsdown in the period of isolation.
(46:56):
It was also a few years into theseparation and divorce Her
father and I, and it was middleschool and early adolescence.
I didn't understand it at thetime, but the woman that I
(47:18):
worked with and continued towork with would tell me you need
to work on yourself.
There are things that you needto work on yourself.
There are things that you needto work on.
See learning within yourselfand I promise you don't abandon
yourself, right, even though themotherly instinct and you know,
(47:39):
what we're told is like I'msupposed to pivot my entire life
to try to help my child be incrisis.
And, saul, she checked in to me.
There is a relationship betweenthe healing work that you need
to do and the healing work thatshe needs to do.
(48:00):
And so, yes, support her, showup for her, do all of those
things and don't neglectyourself and don't bypass the
work that you need.
And so you know, again, goingback to you know celestial
(48:22):
beings in the universe showingup for us in ways that we may
not even recognize, but we need.
I do remember logging into theZoom for the first time and you
know tearing up because therewas a recognition like I'm
(48:42):
supposed to be here.
I don't understand why I don't,you know, I can't see all of
the reasons why, but I know myspirit knows that this is the
support and the help that isgoing to get us through this
crisis and beyond.
(49:03):
And so you know, we meet everyweek and it just so reminders me
that there's always work.
There's always mirror work,spirit work, there's always.
We need to be constantlyinvolved.
So even, you know, when we gotthrough the crisis period and
(49:25):
was like, oh, maybe I don't haveto working with her anymore.
And then, you know, myancestors would tap her on the
shoulder and be like, tell herthis thing, this message, give
her this message.
And then it would be like, okay, let me sit my ass back down.
And then I get over myselfthinking that I don't have to be
(49:48):
in practice, right, that I onlyhave to be in practice when I'm
in crisis, you know, when thefamily won't fight you.
Uh, and so, yeah, we.
I think what the work that wehave done together is about
(50:08):
creating a more open channelbetween myself and my guides and
my angels and my ancestors.
It has been about, you know,clearing and releasing things
that I've been holding in myenergetic body and my emotional
body and my physical body.
It has been about just learninghow to love myself and show up
(50:39):
for myself in the same way thatI do that for other people, and
to recognize my soul and my bodyand my spiritual body as sacred
and worthy of my own attention.
And a lot of the practice isjust about redirecting me back
(51:04):
to pour into my soul and to keepdoing my work to feel, to
evolve, and I do believe that alot of that work is what can
create the conditions for myorganization to take off.
(51:25):
You know that toddler um togrow up real fast, you know, and
and take off in ways that I hada lot of doubt.
Jose Rico (51:37):
You know, and whatnot you know had to really work on
my practice and where needswould fade, we need to, like,
say yeah and just to, to, tolisten and to trust and to not
try to intellectually let's allmind things in the way that I
(52:02):
past selves, past meetings,would have done, and
over-reliant on my intellect, onmy productivity, on all of
those ways that I've learned toget far, you know definitely to
(52:28):
get far, yeah, and I've seen how, like you said, that work on
yourself has really manifestedin the relationships that you
have with others, andparticularly in bringing
together an incredible group ofpeople to support umui and the
(52:49):
work that we I mean these aresome of the most incredible
folks in the area that I've thatshow up whenever you call them
that uh are willing to put inthe work, both intellectual, but
also their time and their loveand their care, and so I mean I
(53:14):
think you could.
The evidence that you have,that you're pouring into
yourself, has actually showed upin the relationship with others
, is there.
That is a testament to you.
But also in the belief that youcan show up for yourself does
(53:38):
not mean that you are neglectingother relationships and
anything else.
The last question I have for youis the last question I have for
(54:01):
you is you have been veryintentional about sharing this
healing journey.
May be you know in a similarsituation like you, who were
either educators or survivors orfolks that want to pursue their
dreams and start somethingdifferent.
(54:22):
What would you share with themin terms of what they should pay
attention to in their spiritualjourney to be able to take
these, these, these next stepsor this upcoming uh phases in
their life?
What would you share that youthink is relevant from your
(54:45):
spiritual journey, that you wantto share with people who might
be wanting to venture there butmay not know?
Cecily Relucio (54:55):
one that I do believe, that we are all
surrounded by divine beings wholove us, who see us even when we
don't see ourselves.
That if we become still enoughand suspend a very human you
(55:26):
know human-centric ways of being, we can play back to the ways
that, even in moments of ourdeepest, darkest pain and
suffering, we're not alone.
Two, I think, surroundingourselves in human form with
(55:47):
divine beings and we are alldivine beings surrounding
ourselves with the love and thecare and the support that we
need and that we deserve tobecome self-actualized and to be
able to really be in rightrelationship you know,
reciprocal relationship,relationships that aren't
(56:13):
extractive, right and aren'trooted in an ethic of domination
.
To surround ourselves withknowing people who love us and
who truly want the best for us,because we can't do this alone.
(56:35):
And then three, to just keepdoing our work, whatever that
work is, and that work isdifferent for everybody, and I
see this a lot I.
I experience this in youngerselves, I see it in justice
(56:55):
oriented people that I know andlove very deeply, and we're not
always engaging in our work, andsometimes we engage in quote
unquote the work of justice, um,so that we can escape having to
examine and heal the parts ofourselves that are most in need.
Well, our love and our attentionand need to be welcomed under
(57:20):
the roots of our belonging inorder to, in order for us to be
fully integrated, and thatthere's.
You know, I had to unlearn alot of shame and I had to
unlearn a Western.
You know pathology that made methink that my father's, the way
(57:46):
that my father acted out histrauma, was because he was an
individual, you know,pathological, broken, rather
than looking at the systems thathad contributed to how he had
learned how to survive.
And so, you know, we can createspaces where we not shame
(58:07):
ourselves for having shame right, can tend to that shame, can
release it, can notice it andrelease it so that we can do our
work, to be whole and and toreturn home to ourselves that's
life all over and we all have itand to understand that that
(58:36):
self-mastery in community withothers is our pathway to our
spiritual evolution.
Jose Rico (58:48):
Great.
Well, I am so blessed andgrateful that I am taking this
pathway and evolution with me.
So thank you so much for yourwords of wisdom and I continue
to look forward to being thenumber one volunteer at a new
(59:10):
week.
Thank you, your history booksgot it all wrong, so I come to
you with a song.
In 1810, black and brownfighting together On a day I'll
(59:36):
always remember.
Buenas familia, soy Jose, Rico or Rico, if you know
me from the hood.
Thank you so much for yourattention today.
It means everything to me and Iwant to welcome you to Hope
Dealer, which is a podcast aboutour journey towards hope,
resilience and joy through thestories that we carry about our
(00:22):
return home, and my intentionfor our time together is to
remind us that we carry powerfulmedicine within us that is our
guide to our transformation.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
I am so grateful to be able tointroduce you to incredible
people, incredible spirits thatwill share their journeys with
(00:46):
us.
All right, everyone.
Welcome again to anotherepisode.
This is actually the secondepisode of Hope Dealer and this
(01:10):
is a podcast about the journeytowards hope, resilience and joy
through our stories ofreturning home.
And, as you got a sense from thefirst podcast where you heard a
little bit about my story, gota sense from the first podcast
where you heard a little bitabout my story, my intention is
really to be able to provide aspace with listeners and guests
(01:31):
to connect with themselves andallow for their story or
spiritual transformation.
Come through and hopefullyyou'll hear it in the voice that
they're sharing this out ofdeep generosity and love.
Today, we are coming bybeautiful trees, obviously, the
(02:06):
lake animals everywhere and justa beautiful sound of cicadas
that you cannot hear.
But many of you in the Midwestare very familiar by now and
just want to be able to shareour surroundings with you, and
(02:27):
one of the reasons why I wantedto do this podcast was because I
wanted to have heart-to-heartconversations with people that I
love, with people that I admireand with people that I've
learned a great deal from, andso I was very excited.
I am very excited that thefirst person that you're going
(02:50):
to listen to is my compañera andguest, Cecily Emperio de Lucio,
who I'm just so glad to be ableto be collaborating with her
today.
I want to be able to becollaborating with her today.
I want to be able to just sharewhat I have been able to learn
(03:11):
from her, but for her to be ableto share that with you.
So welcome, Amor.
Cecily Relucio (03:17):
Thanks for having me.
Jose Rico (03:20):
You know I want to start real quick just for you to
tell your story and, as part ofthe background right, I've
actually had the privilege toknowing your story as a witness
both your personal and yourprofessional transformation over
the past few years, from youknow your childhood story where
(03:49):
you grew up in Coast City, allthe way to right now creating
this incredible organization,mui, and creating that community
.
So if you can, just by way ofintroduction, you know, tell us
a little bit about your story,where you grew up, you know who
your family was and what do youthink is important for people to
know about you to actually geta sense, for them to know who
you are?
Cecily Relucio (04:12):
Thank you for the opportunity.
So I am the daughter of Perlitaand Gerio and Wendo and Sil.
They are immigrants from thePhilippines.
They immigrated in themid-1960s and the borders were
(04:34):
opened up to many people of theAsian diaspora.
My father was who attendedmedical school and um was able
to come to the US on a visa tocomplete a training that
(04:56):
actually was part of the programof extracting labor from our
motherland was to train ourpeople to live and serve in the
diaspora.
So my parents immigrated toChicago.
My father came first and thenmy mother followed a couple
(05:19):
years later and my older sisterwas born in Chicago and then I
was born in Chicago and then,when I was two years old, my
parents went to a little town innorthern Illinois called Bay
City, illinois, again part ofthis sort of workforce program
(05:42):
where foreign medical graduateswould be placed in various towns
and cities across the US.
I don't know the full story ofhow we ended up there, so a
little bit of context.
Full City is a rural,predominantly white town.
(06:03):
There were a handful of mexicanimmigrant families, one other
biracial, korean and whitefamily, no black family, which
was the early 1970s, and Ialways just had the sense that
(06:23):
we did not belong, the messaging, the way that people would talk
to me, the way that peoplewould talk about my family were
that we were foreigners, that myparents had funny accents and
just everything about how thatwas so forward of who we were,
(06:49):
our culture, our language, ourways of being were alien.
I learned much later as anadult that the town where I grew
up is on the Sundown TownRegistry.
Town where I grew up is on theSundown Town Registry.
(07:09):
If you are not familiar withSundown Towns, they are towns
that enacted anti-Black violenceand lynching against Black
people.
So boom, porn listing.
And so when I learned that muchlater as an adult, it just made
a lot of what I experienced inmy and was still carrying and
(07:30):
holding in my body and in mypsyche um make a whole lot of
sense, um about the context inwhich I um.
So a lot of my experience inthat community was just about
survival, and part of how Ilearned how to survive was to
stay small, to be silenced, tobe invisible.
(07:54):
For the most part, although Ican look back on myself as a
young people, young person, andalso understand that I I had a
really strong will to be and tofeel safe, uh, to be and to feel
(08:15):
loved, to feel connection, tofeel belonging.
Um, even in a landscape likethe one that I just described, I
am so.
Not only would the environmentin which I raised really confuse
and are really alienating,disorienting and sometimes
(08:36):
hostile, I also experienced alot of that in my home life.
So I'm a survivor ofgender-based violence.
I am a survivor of vicarioustrauma, growing up witnessing my
(08:58):
mother be physically,emotionally, mentally abused by
my father and also witnessingthat and sometimes intervening
in it when my sister isunaccompanied.
(09:27):
Yeah, I'm just pausing becauseI'm learning how to practice,
not just bypassing the weight ofmy own experiences.
I'm sharing, sharing you, yeah,and to just honor all those
(09:47):
younger versions of myself thatlearned how to survive, and not
just to survive, to heal and tobe enjoying pleasure, feel
embodied and full.
A lot of my experience, of myhealing journey, my spiritual
(10:10):
journey, has been about healingall of those other selves who
had to survive Really reallychallenging circumstances and
learn how to transform all ofthat suffering into purpose,
into love, into milk.
(10:35):
It's an understanding of thenature of my own healing journey
and what I can offer to othersas I accompany, you know, as we
accompany each other in ourhealing journeys.
Yeah, I'm, even through allthat you know, even through all
(11:02):
of those forces and Godsituations that you know, even
through all of those forces andsituations and circumstances
that shaped me.
Something I can realize now islove has always been present in
(11:22):
some form.
Right, whether it was, love hasalways been present in some
form, whether it was the love ofmy mother or my sisters or
extended family cousins, thelove of a handful of teachers
who really did love me, you knowwhite women who extended care,
(11:50):
who extended safety and refuge,who could see something in me
even when I couldn't see it inmyself or those aspects and
dimensions of myself weren'tbeing affirmed.
And I think that had a lot todo with my decision to become a
(12:13):
teacher, to become an educator,because of the loving care that
I was able to receive and be thebeneficiary and be the
beneficiary.
Yeah, I think I am 53, justturned 53.
(12:40):
It's been a beautiful and verycomplicated and sometimes very
isolating and very lonely andscary journey.
Very complicated and sometimesvery isolating and very lonely
and scary journey.
But I can reflect back on a lotof that now from the place
where I'm at and see myself asalways being connected in some
way to what our nervous systemsare called to do.
(13:01):
Our nervous systems are wiredfor connection, for belonging,
for safety, for love, and I cansee all of my younger selves and
look back at them now with loveand compassion and deep, deep
gratitude for the ways that theyhave always been seeking and
(13:25):
never stop seeking, but all thethings that we need in order to
survive and to thrive.
That's human being, and Ireally think that my connection
to my own vitality and my ownlife force has been the constant
(13:49):
in terms of what has providedlike, what has been the driving
force, Seeking meaning andpurpose from all of these
experiences.
Jose Rico (14:08):
Thank you for sharing such personal and painful parts
of your history, but also beingable to read the resistance and
the love that comes with that,and from that you know I
resistance and the love thatcomes with that, and from that
you know I.
To hear you say that you haveshrunk yourself, that you are
(14:33):
quiet, that you're demure.
It's almost a polar opposite ofhow I know you as as strong, as
loving, as always being a voicefor injustice.
So you know it's good for us toknow that that happens and that
(14:55):
that is a transformation.
So I really appreciate yousharing where you are and where
you are now.
I think that's important for usto understand and I think one
of the things that I you know.
What I want to go a little bitdeeper in is that you know my
(15:15):
researching of you.
This transformation obviouslyhappened in different parts of
your life and there weredifferent people or different
circumstances.
Whether it was your first gradeteacher saw you in a classroom,
or whether it was a moment inyour workplace where you had to
(15:40):
stand up for yourself.
What could you share with usabout any one of those moments
and what that transformationsaid about you that you knew was
always there, but at thatmoment you claimed it.
So what are those moments toyou as you really reflect right
(16:01):
now?
What do those moments mean toyou that you really lack right
now?
Cecily Relucio (16:06):
what do those moments mean to you One?
You know, when I talk about andI share my story, I think it's
really important to talk aboutsurvivorhood.
I think it's really importantfor me as a woman, as a woman of
color, as a P of color, as aPinay, as a member of the
(16:29):
Filipino diaspora, because whatI've found is what in me,
talking about that and talkingabout how that all had shaped me
, I realized that it offersothers permission to share
things that they don't talkabout, things that we don't talk
(16:52):
about, that we then shamefosters guilt, it fosters the
abandonment of our woundedhearts.
(17:14):
And so I found that every timeI talk about it, what it opens
up and what it allows space forin the conversation are other
women's stories of the violencethey have experienced.
And I think I'm pretty surethat I don't know a single woman
(17:39):
of color who doesn't have astory of violence that they've
experienced, oftentimes in theirfamily of origin, oftentimes
that they, you know, perpetratedby a male family member, and
(18:00):
also oftentimes in intimatepartner situations.
You know, so I think, for a lotof folks, young folks who do
justice and liberation work,oftentimes they'll have stories
about.
You know, I got into organizing, like on my campus or as a
(18:23):
young person, you know,organizing around issues that
were impacting my community.
And for me, I think my journeyand my understanding of justice
and healing and liberationreally began in my family origin
.
My mother transitioned tohaving me claim to the ancestral
(18:46):
plane the day after my 24thbirthday and I have a younger
sister and she was 14 at thetime and before my mother, the
(19:24):
week when she was about 16 or 17years old, I was in therapy for
the first time, talking with atherapist very matter-of-factly
about the violence, the abusethat was present in my childhood
(19:52):
home.
And the therapist stopped meand she said, she asked me and
I'm kind of bowing do youunderstand that that's not
normal or entropy?
And I was the first time I hadever heard that or even
considered that something elsewas possible.
(20:17):
It was so normalized from whatI had experienced.
And then the second question,in a line of conversation that I
remember her posing, was askingme about my younger sister and
whether or not she was beingabused.
(20:37):
And did I understand that I wasan adult and I could intervene?
All of that was completely.
It was so much dissonance anadult and I couldn't intervene.
All of that was completely somuch dissonance and so much like
it woke me up because I had notrecognized that as a 26 or 27
(21:00):
year old that I actually hadagency to confront my father and
to intervene and to stop fullcycle of abuse in the family.
And so sometime shortly afterthat conversation the universe
is wise in terms of the messagesthat it gives us my father
(21:27):
called me.
It was probably 9 o'clock atnight and he told me to come to
the house it's our home city, Iwas living in Chicago To come
get my sister, because if Ididn't he might kill me.
And so I did.
(21:47):
I scared the shit out of me.
I didn't know what I was doing.
I just knew that that was whatwas needed, something at the
time.
So I made the drive with mypartner at the time and we
(22:10):
picked her up and we brought herback to the city.
Um, and I knew that that wouldnot be enough.
And so over the course of thenext few days I talked to a
(22:32):
bunch of people and again theuniverse is wide my sister, my
younger sister's boyfriend atthe time.
His mother was a guardian, acourt guardian for known people,
and she talked with me throughthe process, and so I reported
(22:58):
him.
I went to the school, the schoolthat I attended high school, at
the school that I'm sure peopleviewed as the model family you
know, all these doctors,children successful by a lot of
measures and I went to thepeople who were running the
(23:21):
school, many of whom were myhigh school teachers, and I told
them what was happening, and Itold them that they needed to
report him to DTF child services.
Wow, and so I, you know yeah,there's so much more I could say
(23:46):
about that time but I thinkthat for me, was this moment
where, as an adult, I not onlyrecognized right, the injustice
and the violence, but I was ableto tap into my agency and I was
able to be surrounded by theright people at the right time
(24:10):
who could support me throughreally unfamiliar territory to
get our family to a better place.
One of my high school teachersagreed to take my student so
that she wouldn't have to goback, and so we were really able
(24:31):
to just change the trajectoryof my sister's life and of our
family's life in a very real way, and I think that for me, you
know, it's in my, you know, mid,late 20s when I recognized,
(24:53):
like I began to fully step intomy courage when I was like
change and some you know changeof being, hence I interact back
once in a while.
Jose Rico (25:07):
So those and you know change of being would have
changed Iraq back in 2009 sothose like you, like you were
mentioning those, the momentswhen you decided and you were
called upon to take theseactions and you had the universe
and other people theresupporting you.
(25:31):
You know, I think oftentimeswhen we talk about our own
awakening or consciousness, wetalk about it from an external
political perspective andoftentimes we don't see how that
relates to our own personal andfamilial circumstances and,
(25:56):
like you mentioned earlier, theneed to be able to obviously see
the parallels but also learnthose lessons.
And I think that it's veryinstructive, right, because you
know, oftentimes in ourconversations, when we talk
(26:16):
about the political world andwhat's happening at this moment,
you know these moments, thelast five certain years I always
see that you have not just apolitical understanding of
things but a relationalunderstanding.
(26:37):
I think that, I think, isreally important whenever we try
to analyze what's going on,whenever we try to analyze
what's going on and I reallyenjoyed our conversations about
what would happen if, because alot of it is based on your
understanding of the relationaldynamics of power and violence
(27:03):
right, given that, I want toactually move towards that in a
broader context right, in termsof what you've learned, have you
stepped into, uh, into yourpower.
Uh, you know, if you could shareyour thoughts about the moments
that we're living in right nowand how the structural violence
(27:30):
and the gaslighting andeverything that we're facing as
folks, that I mean you know theway I look at this is that I
mean, you know the way I look atthis is that this colonial
project is still hell bent oneradicating us and we're still
(27:54):
hell bent on not allowing thatto happen.
Right, so we're still inconflict.
From your perspective, from thework that you do, from the
community of people you're inrelationship with, how do you
see this moment and what is itthat you think you and the
(28:14):
community you represent arecalled to do at this moment?
Cecily Relucio (28:19):
Yeah, I'm still kind of working through this
understanding that's come to mein recent weeks, and it's not a
new understanding.
I feel like I'm just movinginto a different relationship
with you.
(28:40):
Know, all of these systems ofdomination, beginning with
imperialism, right globalconquest, various forms of
colonialism, settler colonialism, zionism as a form of settler
colonialism, us settlercolonialism all the different
(29:02):
types, capitalism, racialcapitalism, neoliberalism all of
these systems that are drivenby and rooted in a logic and a
practice of domination, violence, extraction, subjugation, are
(29:29):
all about the desire toeradicate the indigenous, what
is indigenous to us and all ofus are indigenous, all of us,
even white people, can traceback their indigeneity, their
(29:49):
indigenous ways of knowing theirrelationship to land and life
as sacred.
All of us can trace that back.
But all of these systems ofdomination have to erase and
(30:09):
eradicate and devalue andsubjugate what is indigenous and
what's our indigenousknowledges and what is the being
, in order to continue and inorder to get us to buy into it,
get people to to continue and inorder to get us to buy into it,
(30:30):
get people to buy into it.
And so I'm really thinkingabout the way in which that
connects to what is happeningright now in Gaza in now, in
Gaza, in Sudan, in Congo, inHaiti, all of it is about trying
(31:00):
to sever us from our ancestry,from our culture, from the land,
from each other, fromrelational ways of being and an
understanding of the sacredworth of all life.
And so that's, you know, that'swhat the Zionist project is,
(31:30):
and so I'm really thinking aboutthe ways in which Palestine is
freeing me by helping me be in adifferent relationship and not
expanded in a deep relationshipto my understanding.
And so, for me, the work ofethnic studies, which is what my
(31:53):
organization, uluwi, ethnicStudies Uluwi means to return
home and to follow, which is oneof my mother tones.
Yes, the history, the historyof the social movement, the
recentering of our first-personnarratives, building our
(32:16):
critical consciousness aroundhow these systems of domination
operate and how we have resistedthem for centuries.
I think all of that isimportant, and what we need to
be practicing all day, every day, is an indigenously centered
(32:38):
way of being in relationshipwith ourselves, being in
relationship with each other,having those relationships in
our families, not just out inthe world.
Right, because thatcontradiction, that
contradiction, thatdisconnection, you know, we can
(33:03):
be in struggles for justice, butif we are still treating each
other in extractive, competitiveways that are about separation
and binaries, right, we're stillnot moving in a way that we did
.
What I believe is the antidoteand the way forward through all
(33:26):
of it is the return to ourindigenous and you know that
understanding has been informedby a lot of people, it's been
informed by you, it's beeninformed through study and
through practice.
And you know that's where Iwant have realized, that's where
I want to need and being calledto spend my time.
(33:49):
You know, I think studies arethe pathway for reclaiming and
recentering and practicingdecolonized, re-indigenizing
ways of being in relationshipwith each other, in relationship
with the man and with our ownselves.
(34:15):
You know, sometimes, you know,I think, it can be some of the
hardest work.
Jose Rico (34:22):
So you called, you called Uma Wee, your toddler,
your toddler that sometimesyou're behind and chasing, and
for me it's been great seeing apassion project turn into
something real and can affect somany people.
(34:45):
And I've seen it as you makinga call to action and right away
you've already.
You wanted to create this as ahome place for educators.
Tell us what is the call toaction that you are, that you're
(35:07):
making for BIPOC educators andwhy do we need it?
Yeah, yeah.
Cecily Relucio (35:13):
So I've been sitting for several months with
just a question in my spirit ofwhat is the name of the new
organization going to be.
And then I was listening to apodcast or a talk, a recorded
(35:40):
talk between Sonia Renee Taylorand Adrienne Marie Brown, and
they opened the conversation bytalking about home and the
relationship to home.
And then that's when Iremembered, right, how important
returning home and creatinghome has been, like, you know, a
(36:04):
call and a theme in my life.
And so I did a bunch ofGoogling, because I lost my
mother tongue to try tounderstand different ways to you
know, words that have home asmeaning, and I came across holy
and I loved that it was a verb,that it was about.
(36:27):
You know that it's constantlyemotional.
It's a practice, right ofreturning home.
And then I found Dr LennyMendoza Strobel's writings on
decolonization.
She has an exact quote on whatit means to return home, and she
(36:47):
has an exact quote on what itmeans to return home.
And so returning home isreturning, you know,
intellectually, emotionally,spiritually, to our ancestors,
to our motherlands, to ourdecolonized and indigenized ways
of knowing before we werecolonized.
(37:08):
It's a return to that state,and even if we cannot fully
return home.
It's the work of seeking touncover and to reclaim who we
really are, our truest, mosthighest essence and form, who we
would be if we hadn't arrivedhere on Turtle Island, you know,
(37:34):
whether that was by force or bychoice.
So, and then we, you know, kindof, one of our sayings is that
ethnic studies is a home placeand the understanding of home
place comes from the writing ofVal Hooks.
It comes from a Black feministradical tradition.
(37:56):
That is about what Black womenunder you know, chattel slavery
in the US.
Us and many, many colonizedpeoples have done, which, again,
is what our nervous systems arewired to do, which is create
safety, create connection,create wholeness together, even
(38:20):
if it's temporary, even if wecan be displaced from those home
places, even if that making ofhome place comes at a price.
Right that we understand thatthat is our, you know, we have a
.
It's our right, it's our divineright to have those things and
(38:42):
to you know and to see that actof resistance, and you know, an
act of resistance and love andjoy, even within extremely
oppressive conditions.
So you know, school, usschooling, is a site and
(39:06):
structure of a lot of violence.
It's a colonial project.
Lots of people have studiedthis and written about it.
It was never made for folks thatthe US Empire wants to
(39:28):
subjugate, right, it's aninstrument of our subjugation,
and so I think that the call forcritically conscious,
justice-centered educators is toheed that call to return home,
(39:50):
a call that I believe that ourancestors keep trying to follow
back and to help us to rememberand to reclaim our power.
You know, I think that the callis to resist and to refuse what
the us human project wants us todo, which is to police yellow,
(40:16):
black and brown bodies to police, to surveil, to contain, uh, to
assimilate uh, yellow, blackpeople, um, into their you
people, into the place that wewere meant to hold in US society
, and to infuse all of that,oftentimes in a subversive way,
(40:43):
by creating something elseentirely, which are spaces of
love and collective care andtruth-telling and the practice
of collective values.
You know, I think of ethnicstudies as decolonizing studies,
(41:03):
solidarity studies and, as youknow, an inherently insurgent
project, and so it's figuringout who's down to do that and
then us swatting up and havingeach other's back and engaging
(41:27):
in study and care and fasting,so that we can sustain these
commitments in the face ofempire which does not want us to
engage in.
Jose Rico (41:47):
So that's a big call to action, but I think what you
know, what caught my attentionis when you refer to the call to
action being informed by ourancestors.
Right, and one thing I'velearned in my practice in order
(42:13):
to be aligned and to listen andto hear what they say, you have
to be able to be still enoughand open enough and have to get
your ego out of the way as muchas possible.
So one of the areas that I dowant to go in a little bit is
(42:43):
what are those ways and thosepractices and knowings that you
have that allow you to be ableto listen to your ancestors, but
also for you to manifest thethings that you want to manifest
in your life?
(43:03):
In your life?
What are those practices thatgive you hope and that allow you
to make this assertion aboutwhat you think is necessary for
our liberation?
Cecily Relucio (43:25):
I think for me, yeah, it really has evolved a
lot over time, you know, and I Ithink that the constant have
been well, I think that I am areflective person and think that
(43:52):
I, at many points in my journey, that I've engaged in some
critical self-reflection and Ifeel that is what has led me to
therapy.
I've done talk therapy for plus20 years in general forms, you
(44:15):
know.
I feel like it has led me tothe things that I've read and
conversations that I've had withpeople.
It has been my desire tounderstand, to make new loans
and to confront the traditionsof my life when I felt out of my
(44:40):
mind, felt dissatisfaction,felt no, it's to like really to
understand what is that about?
What is the sense ofsatisfaction that I feel?
That you know why am I goingthrough this period of
(45:03):
depression, that I don't want tomedicate and not work with them
.
So I think for me that has beenone of the things and it's led
me to, you know, a lot ofdifferent practices, my current
(45:24):
practice that I've been engagedin last three or so years and I
work with a holistic healthpractitioner who engages a lot
of different practices and youknow I came upon that we'll get
(45:44):
into a lot of differentpractices that we need, and you
know I came upon that and thatpractice found meaning during
one of the most overwhelminglydifficult times in my life.
That's why during the pandemic,about a year into it, when my
(46:08):
daughter was experiencingmultiple mental health crises
and hospital elevation, you knowthat I can't even say that I
fully understand.
But you look at the conditionsof wildlife during that time and
one year in the middle of apandemic and shit was scary and
(46:34):
young people were cut off fromtheir friends, from their social
circles, from just all.
You know anything thatresembled their life prior to.
You know anything thatresembled the life prior to.
You know the field war shutsdown in the period of isolation.
(46:56):
It was also a few years into theseparation and divorce Her
father and I, and it was middleschool and early adolescence.
I didn't understand it at thetime, but the woman that I
(47:18):
worked with and continued towork with would tell me you need
to work on yourself.
There are things that you needto work on yourself.
There are things that you needto work on.
See learning within yourselfand I promise you don't abandon
yourself, right, even though themotherly instinct and you know,
(47:39):
what we're told is like I'msupposed to pivot my entire life
to try to help my child be incrisis.
And, saul, she checked in to me.
There is a relationship betweenthe healing work that you need
to do and the healing work thatshe needs to do.
(48:00):
And so, yes, support her, showup for her, do all of those
things and don't neglectyourself and don't bypass the
work that you need.
And so you know, again, goingback to you know celestial
(48:22):
beings in the universe showingup for us in ways that we may
not even recognize, but we need.
I do remember logging into theZoom for the first time and you
know tearing up because therewas a recognition like I'm
(48:42):
supposed to be here.
I don't understand why I don't,you know, I can't see all of
the reasons why, but I know myspirit knows that this is the
support and the help that isgoing to get us through this
crisis and beyond.
(49:03):
And so you know, we meet everyweek and it just so reminders me
that there's always work.
There's always mirror work,spirit work, there's always.
We need to be constantlyinvolved.
So even, you know, when we gotthrough the crisis period and
(49:25):
was like, oh, maybe I don't haveto working with her anymore.
And then, you know, myancestors would tap her on the
shoulder and be like, tell herthis thing, this message, give
her this message.
And then it would be like, okay, let me sit my ass back down.
And then I get over myselfthinking that I don't have to be
(49:48):
in practice, right, that I onlyhave to be in practice when I'm
in crisis, you know, when thefamily won't fight you.
Uh, and so, yeah, we.
I think what the work that wehave done together is about
(50:08):
creating a more open channelbetween myself and my guides and
my angels and my ancestors.
It has been about, you know,clearing and releasing things
that I've been holding in myenergetic body and my emotional
body and my physical body.
It has been about just learninghow to love myself and show up
(50:39):
for myself in the same way thatI do that for other people, and
to recognize my soul and my bodyand my spiritual body as sacred
and worthy of my own attention.
And a lot of the practice isjust about redirecting me back
(51:04):
to pour into my soul and to keepdoing my work to feel, to
evolve, and I do believe that alot of that work is what can
create the conditions for myorganization to take off.
(51:25):
You know that toddler um togrow up real fast, you know, and
and take off in ways that I hada lot of doubt.
Jose Rico (51:37):
You know, and whatnot you know had to really work on
my practice and where needswould fade, we need to, like,
say yeah and just to, to, tolisten and to trust and to not
try to intellectually let's allmind things in the way that I
(52:02):
past selves, past meetings,would have done, and
over-reliant on my intellect, onmy productivity, on all of
those ways that I've learned toget far, you know definitely to
(52:28):
get far, yeah, and I've seen how, like you said, that work on
yourself has really manifestedin the relationships that you
have with others, andparticularly in bringing
together an incredible group ofpeople to support umui and the
(52:49):
work that we I mean these aresome of the most incredible
folks in the area that I've thatshow up whenever you call them
that uh are willing to put inthe work, both intellectual, but
also their time and their loveand their care, and so I mean I
(53:14):
think you could.
The evidence that you have,that you're pouring into
yourself, has actually showed upin the relationship with others
, is there.
That is a testament to you.
But also in the belief that youcan show up for yourself does
(53:38):
not mean that you are neglectingother relationships and
anything else.
The last question I have for youis the last question I have for
(54:01):
you is you have been veryintentional about sharing this
healing journey.
May be you know in a similarsituation like you, who were
either educators or survivors orfolks that want to pursue their
dreams and start somethingdifferent.
(54:22):
What would you share with themin terms of what they should pay
attention to in their spiritualjourney to be able to take
these, these, these next stepsor this upcoming uh phases in
their life?
What would you share that youthink is relevant from your
(54:45):
spiritual journey, that you wantto share with people who might
be wanting to venture there butmay not know?
Cecily Relucio (54:55):
one that I do believe, that we are all
surrounded by divine beings wholove us, who see us even when we
don't see ourselves.
That if we become still enoughand suspend a very human you
(55:26):
know human-centric ways of being, we can play back to the ways
that, even in moments of ourdeepest, darkest pain and
suffering, we're not alone.
Two, I think, surroundingourselves in human form with
(55:47):
divine beings and we are alldivine beings surrounding
ourselves with the love and thecare and the support that we
need and that we deserve tobecome self-actualized and to be
able to really be in rightrelationship you know,
reciprocal relationship,relationships that aren't
(56:13):
extractive, right and aren'trooted in an ethic of domination
.
To surround ourselves withknowing people who love us and
who truly want the best for us,because we can't do this alone.
(56:35):
And then three, to just keepdoing our work, whatever that
work is, and that work isdifferent for everybody, and I
see this a lot I.
I experience this in youngerselves, I see it in justice
(56:55):
oriented people that I know andlove very deeply, and we're not
always engaging in our work, andsometimes we engage in quote
unquote the work of justice, um,so that we can escape having to
examine and heal the parts ofourselves that are most in need.
Well, our love and our attentionand need to be welcomed under
(57:20):
the roots of our belonging inorder to, in order for us to be
fully integrated, and thatthere's.
You know, I had to unlearn alot of shame and I had to
unlearn a Western.
You know pathology that made methink that my father's, the way
(57:46):
that my father acted out histrauma, was because he was an
individual, you know,pathological, broken, rather
than looking at the systems thathad contributed to how he had
learned how to survive.
And so, you know, we can createspaces where we not shame
(58:07):
ourselves for having shame right, can tend to that shame, can
release it, can notice it andrelease it so that we can do our
work, to be whole and and toreturn home to ourselves that's
life all over and we all have itand to understand that that
(58:36):
self-mastery in community withothers is our pathway to our
spiritual evolution.
Jose Rico (58:48):
Great.
Well, I am so blessed andgrateful that I am taking this
pathway and evolution with me.
So thank you so much for yourwords of wisdom and I continue
to look forward to being thenumber one volunteer at a new
(59:10):
week.
Thank you, your history booksgot it all wrong, so I come to
you with a song.
In 1810, black and brownfighting together On a day I'll
(59:36):
always remember.
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