A Course in Miracles Deep Dive - Chapter 2, Section XI, Paragraph 6, Sentence 2 through Paragraph 8, Sentence 5: Birth Trauma or Separation Trauma - Hope Johnson's Wisdom Dialogues

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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Yay, aloha, everyone, thank you for joining.
This is our ACIM Deep Dive.
Today we're going into Chapter2, section 11, starting with
Paragraph 6, and we did Sentence1 last time and we're going to
start on Sentence two.

(00:24):
So let's just have a moment ofbreath and prayer before we
begin.
Ah, thank you, thank you, thankyou, thank you to everyone

(00:52):
who's joining.
Thank you, jesus, for joiningwith us and showing us what you
mean by these words, helping usto dive deeply beyond them,
beyond what the words are, andto what the words are pointing
toward Past, our egos,defensiveness, past fear, past

(01:15):
worry, past doubt, so we can seethe deep meaning of these words
and know ourselves truly.
Thank you for your patience,your enduring patience through
all the loops that we go through, where we seem to know and then

(01:35):
doubt again, and seem to knowand then doubt again, knowing
that we're always on the pathlike a river flowing through the
ocean.
Thank you for showing us that.
Thank you for being with us.
Thank you to all of ourbrothers and sisters, everyone
for their willingness, howeversmall.

(01:55):
Thank you to the Holy Spiritfor always holding the light for
us and thank you, god, forcreating us perfect and holy.
Yay, let's begin.
Yay, thank you.
Thank you for joining.
I love you.
I'm so excited.
This is such a fun deep divefor me.

(02:19):
You know I deep dive ahead ofyou guys, so I'm prepared.
So last week and oh, let me justtell you where we are for those
of you who want to follow alongwith the text so this is the
complete and annotated editionof A Course in Miracles, and
this was published in June 2021.

(02:42):
And we are beginning.
Let's see what page this ispage 96.
And again, this is chapter two,section 11, paragraph six, and
I'm just going to revisitsentence one, paragraph six, and
I'm just going to revisitsentence one, which we did last

(03:05):
week.
It's just shortly, briefly,okay.
So Jesus affirmed Freud's termpre-conscious for the
superficial.
This is a superficialunconscious.
This is a layer where repressedthoughts, fantasies and

(03:29):
judgments live right beneathawareness and they can be easily
brought to light for healingand forgiveness.
Here's the sentence Freud wasright in calling this level
pre-conscious and emphasizingthat there is a fairly easy
interchange betweenpre-conscious and conscious
material.
That's what we went over last,in our last session, and now

(03:55):
we're starting with sentence two.
He Freud again was also rightin regarding the sensor as an
agent for the protection ofconsciousness from fear.
And there's a footnote here.
In Freudian thought, the censorthat's what we're looking at now
.
The censor, in order to protectthe ego, blocks unconscious

(04:19):
wishes from consciousness duringthe day and during the night
transforms these wishes intodisguised forms that appear in
dreams.
So this is in Freudian thoughtand this is what Jesus is
talking about right now.
So he's saying he was alsoright in regarding the censor as

(04:40):
an agent for the protection ofconsciousness from fear.
So let's break it down.
Okay.
So Jesus is continuing toacknowledge Freud's insights.
There's no blank.
He's not putting a blanket ofrejection over Freud's framework
.
Instead, he's affirming what'saccurate before he's correcting

(05:02):
what's incomplete.
Okay, and he's really gentleabout it.
So sweet.
So this models this, what Jesusis doing here.
This also also models how theHoly Spirit uses what's already
in the mind as a starting pointfor healing.
So it's like Jesus and the HolySpirit, they'll use whatever it
is that's in alignment andstart from there.

(05:24):
Okay, so he was also right inregarding the sensor.
So here the sensor is referringto a mental mechanism that
functions like a filter or agatekeeper between what's
conscious and what's justbeneath the awareness, what
Freud is calling thepre-conscious.

(05:46):
So that's like a sensor.
Okay, it's a mechanism that'slike a filter between what's
conscious and what's justbeneath awareness.
This is like a filter area.
That's what the sensor is.
And then it goes.
The sentence goes on.
It says he was also right inregarding the sensor as an agent

(06:07):
for the protection.
So this part as an agent forthe protection.
Freud saw the sensor asactively working on behalf of
the conscious mind's stability.
That's how he saw this sensor,what he's calling the
pre-conscious.
It's agent in maintaining orderand shielding the ego's

(06:31):
constructed self-image.
So it's protecting thisconstructed self-image.
That's what this sensor is allabout.
And the sentence goes on.
Last part of the sentence.
I'll read it all together.
He was also right in regardingthe censor as an agent for the
protection of consciousness fromfear.

(06:53):
So this protection isspecifically from fear-based
content Guilt, shame, rage, anythought that threatens the ego's
sense of self.
So in ACIM terms, what this ismeaning the ego's strategy.
The ego doesn't want to removefear.

(07:15):
The ego wants to hide fear, notremove it.
The sensor is part of thathiding system.
So what Freud is calling thepre-conscious that's why Jesus
is saying he's right about thisthere's this sensor that
protects the ego, kind of keepsthe fear hidden so it doesn't
have to come up to the consciouslevel.

(07:36):
Right, blocking certainthoughts from reaching conscious
awareness.
That way they stay in theunconscious.
Remember, earlier we weretalking about how unconscious
equals unwatched.
So this is what's keeping thosethoughts unwatched.
This sensor, all right.
So it's preventing them fromreaching awareness because the

(08:02):
ego is fragile.
It wants to keep its identitysafe, it wants to feel safe.
Okay, the safety is actuallydeception.
It's more like keeping arattlesnake in the basement, so
you don't have to look at it,right, rather than just removing
it.
So this is the ego strategy tokeep us feeling, you know,

(08:25):
comfortable.
So we don't need to look at thefear that's in the unconscious.
That's what this sensor is allabout.
So it's got a temporaryfunction.
Jesus is acknowledging thefunction Freud describes it is a
real experience within thesplit mind.
He's saying this is a realexperience within the split mind

(08:47):
.
He's saying this is a realexperience, but from the Course
in Miracles perspective, thesensor's purpose is ultimately
illusory because it preservesseparation.
That's the purpose of it topreserve separation.
So he was also right inregarding the sensor.
This is what he's calling thepreconscious as an agent for the

(09:07):
protection of consciousnessfrom fear.
So what it's relevant for isrecognizing that the sensor
helps us understand why certainfears are unaccessible to us at
first.
Fears are unaccessible to us atfirst.

(09:28):
So it's like down the road, aswe open up to recognizing our
fear, they become moreaccessible, and it's because of
this sensor.
So we want to get past thissensor.
So, in miracle mindedness, it'snot like we're trying to
dismantle the sensor by force.
We're just inviting the HolySpirit to help us bring these
hidden fears to the surface in agentle, non-traumatic way.

(09:49):
So it's like the sensor'suseful at first because we don't
want to see these things sofast that we get even more
fearful.
Just let the Holy Spirit bringthem through in a gentle way.
Okay, so the key insight withthis sentence is that there's a
mental mechanism that seems toprotect us from fear by keeping

(10:10):
it out of awareness.
Jesus's deeper teaching is whatFreud called protection is
actually the ego's way ofmaintaining fear, since fear
can't be healed if it's neverseen.
So if anyone has any questionsabout that, let me know.
Yay, thank you for joining.

(10:34):
I love you, okay.
Next sentence His major error,talking about Freud, still his
major error lay in hisinsistence that the preconscious
is necessary at all in thepsychic structure.

(10:54):
So his major error, basicallyJesus isn't dismissing Freud's
entire framework, but he'spointing to the key flaw in this
model.
He starts with appreciation forwhat's accurate and then he
pinpoints where the theory holdsback healing.

(11:15):
So his major error is laying inhis insistence.
So he's saying his error isaccidental, this is insistence.
It's foundational to histhinking.
This is why it wasn't able tobe miracle mindedness, because
this was foundational to histhinking.
He built his whole approacharound the belief that this

(11:38):
mental layer must exist, like itneeds to persist, like it
necessary for for us to have inany experience.
So lay in his insistence thatthe pre-conscious is necessary.
That's that sensor, again, thepre-conscious.
Freud saw the pre-conscious, theaccessible layer of hidden

(12:01):
thoughts, as a structuralrequirement of the psyche, part
of what keeps the mindfunctioning.
So you see how, once you laythat down as your foundation,
you're never going to see pastit, because the mind is so
powerful.
Not never, I mean eventually,maybe not in that lifetime, but

(12:24):
eventually everyone's going tosee past it.
That has to be set aside though, that foundational thought, and
you know that's why bodies arebeing recycled.
So it's like there's anotheropportunity to look again,
because people get so set intheir ways.
Like you know, freud was justset in this way of looking at

(12:46):
things and a stubbornness setsin.
So you know, one of the thingsthat we're asking, you know,
jesus, let us see past our ownstubbornness as far as any
concepts that are preventing usfrom undoing this dream.
Right?
We're seeing that by theseexamples what goes on in the
psyche?

(13:07):
So his major error lay in hisinsistence that the
pre-conscious is next necessaryat all, so now at all.
He's.
Jesus is rejecting this.
Absolutely no qualifier, no, no, sometimes, from a healed
perspective, there's no need fora layer of hidden fear in the

(13:30):
mind, from a healed perspective,right, and that's what we're
aspiring to, that's what we'rebeing led to by A Course in
Miracles, this healedperspective, led to by A Course
in Miracles, this healedperspective.
So his major error lay in hisinsistence that the
pre-conscious is necessary atall in the psychic structure.

(13:54):
This refers to Freud's model ofthe mind, with his conscious,
pre-conscious and unconsciouscompartments.
That's how he set it up.
Jesus is saying.
In reality, the mind does notneed compartments to be safe.
He's saying it needsintegration.
That's what A Course inMiracles helps with.

(14:16):
So the pre-conscious is not adivinely created part of the
mind.
It's a construct of the ego andit's meant to keep the ego safe
.
That's what it's for.
We're not trying to just blowit out immediately, because the
Holy Spirit can still usewhatever it is we made to bring

(14:37):
this fearful aspect of our mindgently to our consciousness.
So we can't handle seeing itall at once.
Similarly, we can't handlefeeling all the pain that's
projected onto our bodies.
Right, that fear is projectingpain.
We discover that in blocktherapy.
When we're using a block andwe're bringing up pain slowly,

(15:01):
with a calm, relaxed breath,right, because we don't want to
feel it all at once, we'd bescreaming in pain and never want
to look at it again, just keepon burying it.
So the very existence of thepreconscious implies that some
fear must remain hidden for usto function, which keeps the

(15:24):
separation belief intact.
So it's recognizing that wedon't need that for us to
function.
You know, we don't need that,maybe temporarily, but not to
function as a son of God.
True healing removes the needfor a pre-conscious altogether

(15:47):
because there is no longeranything to hide.
So the practical implication ofthis is if we believe fear must
be managed or contained.
We will never let it be undone.

(16:08):
The goal of the Course inMiracles is total transparency
of our mind, where all thoughtsare either extended in love or
quickly given to the Holy Spiritfor correction.
So this is reminding us.
Anything we keep in the psychicstorage, so to speak, behind

(16:28):
this sensor is something we'reactually postponing our own
healing.
That's what's going on.
So freud thought the mindneeded a hidden layer to protect
itself.
Like it's like as if lifecannot be without this hidden
layer.
And Jesus is saying the need isthe ego's invention.

(16:48):
And in truth, a healed mindneeds no compartments.
It's only open, unifiedawareness with God.
So so much of what's going onhere is hiding.

(17:20):
And if you notice, you look inyour own, you know in your own
life, in your own psyche, noticewhat you try to do in your life
and think alone, like withoutthe Holy Spirit.
And you know regular religiongives us a lot of this guilty
thing like God is watching usand is going to punish us.
So we try to do things withoutawareness, which means like
without Jesus or without theHoly Spirit.
I like to say just bring Jesusinto everything, let him look,

(17:40):
let the Holy Spirit look oneverything that you seem to be
doing, because none of it'sguilty, it's just a matter of
the looking is allowing you toreinterpret everything.
So you're not apparently doingthese things while generating
more fear and hiding, basicallyhiding from yourself.
Right Sentence three If thepsyche contains fearful levels

(18:13):
from which it cannot escapewithout splitting, its
integration is permanentlythreatened.
So if the psyche containsfearful levels, this means if
there are parts of the mindholding fear, guilt or attack
thoughts, these are not justpassing thoughts, but they're
sustained pockets of unhealedbelief.

(18:36):
That's what we're doing.
We're sustaining pockets ofunhealed belief in order to even
project this thing wherethere's mortal bodies everywhere
, in order to even project thisthing where there's mortal
bodies everywhere, whereeverything seems to be on a
lifespan so from which it cannotescape.
If the psyche contains fearfullevels from which it cannot
escape, that means the mindfeels trapped by these levels.

(19:03):
The mind feels like it has nopathway to bring him into
awareness for healing.
This is the condition Freudassumed was inevitable.
You know, he had to be having ahard time with that belief
structure.
I mean, it seems like we'rejust destitute.
We just have to do this.
This is part of life, you knowlike we have to have these

(19:31):
fearful pockets and we can'tescape them.
They're going to constantlykeep on bringing fearful things
to the surface and we're goingto be protected from knowing
that they're there.
So they keep on manifesting.
This is the ego's protection,totally.
Freud assumed it was inevitable.
Hidden fear we can't safelyface.
That was his idea that we can'tsafely face, and this is

(19:56):
basically what modern psychologyis based on these kinds of
beliefs.
It's fun, and apparently thathasn't been changed.
So if the psyche containsfearful levels from which it
cannot escape without splitting?
So splitting is referring topsychological fragmentation,

(20:22):
mentally dividing parts of theself to avoid direct
confrontation with fear.
That's what the splitting is.
So in ego terms, this is adefense mechanism for
maintaining functioning bykeeping opposing beliefs or
feelings separate.
There's always this oppositionin the mind.

(20:44):
So if the psyche containsfearful levels from which it
cannot escape without splitting,its integration is permanently
threatened.
So as long as any part of themind is uh is like,
compartmentalized it's keptseparate by fear full unity is

(21:04):
impossible.
The self remains in a fragile,defended state, always
vulnerable to collapse.
When the hidden fear leaks out,it always leaks out into the
conscious mind, right, it'llgive us something to be afraid
of.
Anytime we're afraid ofanything.

(21:25):
Anytime we get a fear, likewhat, if that person's ripping
me off, for instance?
Right, that's the same thing.
It's bubbling up from thesubconscious mind and what the
ego wants to do is keep usprotected from knowing the fear
that it's actually coming from.

(21:46):
You know, in our last lesson,jesus was saying it's the source
of fright.
You're afraid of it becauseit's the source of fright.
The unconscious mind, unwatchedmind.
So that sentence again.
If the psyche contains fearfullevels from which it cannot
escape without splitting this isFreud's idea Its integration is

(22:10):
permanently threatened, andthat's what modern psychology is
based on.
So a split mind is the centralproblem.
Acim addresses One part thatchooses the ego.
This is the split One part thatchooses the ego and one part
that remembers God.
If fear is locked away toprotect us, the split remains

(22:37):
and peace can never be sustained.
That's the idea modernpsychology is based on.
The holy spirit's work is to endthe need for splitting it all
by making it safe to face thefear in the light of the truth.
It's like we're bringing thelight into this darkened

(22:57):
unconscious mind so the mind canbe completely integrated again.
Basically, what jesus is sayinghere is an unintegrated mind.
So the belief.
I can't handle seeing this.
That's the ego's anchor.

(23:18):
In miracle mindedness we realizethere's no thought too fearful
to bring to the Holy Spirit andthe reason is because it's not
defining you.
This is not part of youridentity.
The fear is as if it's part ofthe identity.
That's why there's fear to lookon it.
So truly, integration, which iswhat we're going here for here,

(23:47):
is restored not by managing thefear.
It's allowing it to be undoneand it's got to be looked at for
that to happen.
So fear remains in a hiddencompartment, the mind remains
divided.
That's the ego's goal to keepthe mind divided.
Healing means facing all fearwith the Holy Spirit.

(24:10):
And look, these fearfulthoughts are bubbling up all day
long Worry, concern.
What if this happens?
What does that person think ofme?
What if I don't have enoughmoney?
Any of those things?
This is so common.
I don't have enough money, anyof those things.
This is so common.
So this will end the need forsplitting and it will restore

(24:33):
the mind to its naturalwholeness, recognizing that we
can handle seeing whatever's inthere.
We can expect that it's goingto be fearful, and we can also
expect that the Holy Spirit willbring it to us slowly, in
whatever way we can handle it,but it's believing that
whatever's there is too much ortoo fearful to look on.

(24:55):
That's what keeps us in a splitstate of mind.
We want to.
You know, we end up identifyingwith the ego and wanting to be
comfortable and not look at theshadows.
Darkness, basically, murderousthoughts, is another way of
saying it.

(25:15):
All right, let's see whatsentence are we on now?
Sentence five Look at us.
It is essential not to controlthe fearful, but to eliminate it

(25:36):
.
So it is essential.
That means it's not optional.
Jesus is stating anon-negotiable principle for
healing the mind it is essentialnot to control the fearful.
The ego's approach is to managefear, suppress it,

(26:00):
compartmentalize it, redirect it, channel it into acceptable
outlets.
This is what most psychologicalmethods aim to do Lessen fear's
impact without addressing itscause.
That's why you know, if you hada question question why does

(26:25):
the world seem the way it does?
Why does everything seem to beoperating off of fear?
This is why, because these arethe principles being used.
Even when people go for help,they go to psychologists.
And this is what they get.
They're redirecting it,channeling it, making it

(26:48):
acceptable, but still keeping ithidden.
So it is essential not tocontrol the fearful but to
eliminate it.
So the goal of A Course inMiracles is total removal of
fear, total removal of itthrough forgiveness.

(27:08):
That's why forgiveness is ourfunction.
As the light of the world.
Forgiveness is our function.
It's not by force or repression, it's seeing it as unreal,
totally, whatever is there allof the fearful thoughts?
They're going to be there inthe unconscious.
We can see the effects of it.

(27:30):
We can perceive the effects ofit in this world.
We're going to see it as unrealin the light of truth.
That's our goal and we'reguaranteed that we're going to
succeed.
So elimination here, he'ssaying, but to eliminate it.
It is essential not to controlthe fearful but to eliminate it.

(27:53):
Elimination means undoing thebelief that fear has any power
or meaning.
So fear isn't part of the mindof god at all.
It only exists as an egomiscreation.
So because of that that meansit can be completely undone,

(28:17):
because the ego isn't even real.
Controlling fear is what keepsit in place, because control
assumes fear is real anddangerous.
It's assuming this is dangerous.
Like, let's say, someone,someone has murderous thoughts.

(28:37):
It's like, okay, well, you know, we'll just redirect that,
we'll just channel that intosomething else, right, instead
of oh, that's, oh you, oh, you,oh, you can see that there's a
murderous thought.
Oh great, let's go into it.
Now I've seen that in my mind.
Wow, wild.
Most people don't talk aboutthis, right, if they do see it,

(29:00):
they'll cover it up.
I never had the intuition or thecall to go to any kind of
psychoanalyst about it oranything like that.
I was actually practicing ACourse in Miracles at the time
and I had these murderousthoughts where I'm killing my
own kid in my mind and I'm going.

(29:23):
Oh, you know, fortunately forme, I was already practicing A
Course in Miracles and I wasasked the Holy Spirit to look at
it with me.
It was very fearful, it wasinteresting because it was so
intense, but it went fast.
It went really fast because Iwas willing to look at it.

(29:43):
So it took, you know, thecourse of one night just
watching these thoughts ariseand watching with the Holy
Spirit and having them beresolved, because you're looking
at them and looking.
These aren't helpful.
There's nothing helpful aboutthis stuff, and you know, when

(30:06):
I'm looking at it I'm like, oh,it's not really fearful because
it's unreal.
It's not true.
It's not true that it would beof any benefit to be killing
someone.
See, it's like, underneath inthe unconscious mind is as if it
would be a benefit if someonewas killed.
So I could look on thosethoughts with calmness and see
that, no, these thoughts don'tbenefit me at all.

(30:29):
How ridiculous are thesethoughts.
And you may have had, you knowthis, this kind of fearful,
murderous thoughts bubbling upin your own mind, just in a
passing thought that you know itwould be better if that person
wasn't on the earth, any person,right, this is, this is how it
comes up.
It would be better if they werejust eliminated from my life.

(30:52):
My life would be better if theyweren't here.
So controlling fear keeps it inplace because it assumes it's
real and dangerous.
Right, and that's how peopleend up doing murderous things
because they're repressingmurderous thoughts, they don't

(31:12):
want to look at them, and italways comes up and always acts.
It's like it acts right throughyou.
Not necessarily with murder,everyone's not doing that.
But you know, there's certainpeople who are doing it for
everyone.
They're representing everyoneelse's fear.
There's all kinds of apparentmurders going on in this life.

(31:34):
Right, they're represented.
It's like oh, thanks for doingthat.
For me, the Holy Spirit's methodis to expose fear and
reinterpret it.
It's a miscreation.
You basically look on it and go, oh, it's a miscreation.
Sure did help all myrelationships.
When I saw that as amiscreation.
It was really fast too.

(31:55):
Just willingness to look,dissolving it at its root by
restoring the mind to love.
That's what happens, okay, okay.
So the moment you try to controlfear, you're agreeing with the
ego's premise that fear hassubstance like oh, no, no, no, I

(32:18):
don't want to look at that.
I'm going to have a drink orsomething, right, I'm going to
eat some food instead.
I'm going to do some artinstead.
Whatever it is, it could seemto be productive or unproductive
.
Either way, what you reallywant to do is look at what's in

(32:38):
the unconscious mind.
It's unwatched.
Really, when fear arises, thehealing question is not how do I
manage this?
Am I willing to see thisdifferently?
Is what it is.
Am I willing to see thisdifferently?
Truly, elimination happens bywithdrawing belief from fear,

(32:59):
letting the Holy Spirit show youit has no cause.
In reality, we're justprojecting this thing.
Managing fear is always egomaintenance.
Eliminating fear is miraclemindedness.
So the only way fear disappearsis by recognizing that nothing

(33:20):
real can be threatened andnothing unreal exists.
That's really when we recognizethat If you guys study A Course
in Miracles, that's like themain foundation of A Course in
Miracles.
It's right in the introductionyeah and so and so throughout A
Course in Miracles showing youhow it gets lied over and over

(33:44):
again.
Okay, we got someone who wantsto talk.
All right, unmute yourself.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
Thomas.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
Yay, do you want?

Speaker 2 (33:57):
to go on Tessa Sure, yes, okay.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
That way people can see you.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
Okay, Join us panelists.
Let's see here Okay.

Speaker 1 (34:17):
All right, aloha, aloha.

Speaker 2 (34:22):
So I really appreciate this idea about
hiding fear, and it dawns on methat the Course in Mir miracle
says that sickness is a defenseagainst the truth and hiding
fear would be a defense againstthe truth too.
And you know, there's this,isn't there, isn't there?
Interesting that there's anassumption of survival and

(34:43):
that's it starts with that.
We think we have to survive, sobeing safe and hiding fear is a
way of survival.
But man, none of that's true.
So I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
Yeah, we don't need it at all.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
Yeah, but becoming conscious of it, like you're
doing with this, with thesekinds of discussions, allows us
to not have to hide it and justcatch ourself hiding it.
And why not just say I'm afraid, and let it be out of the bag,
let it be out from under thecarpet and um and deal with it.
It's a human thing right Tohave fear, but not to hide it or

(35:23):
repress it or make it intosomething or blame others for my
fear.
Just own it.
Yeah, just own it.

Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yeah or blame anything in the field, like like
, let's say, you know you getsome kind of sickness symptom
and then you seem to be afraidbecause of the symptom.
That is not the reason you'reafraid.
You know that you're afraidfirst and then you manifest the
symptom.
The symptom is an effect offear.

(35:48):
It's not the other way around.
So when you're looking likethat, you're actually opening up
to see what you're projectingin the unconscious mind and you
know what what it comes down toall of us is murderous slash,
suicidal thoughts is at thebottom of what's going on here.
That's why I feel so blessedthat I got to see that in 2014,

(36:12):
because just seeing that withinmy own mind changed so much for
me.
I was in duality with everyonein my household.
It was hard to live in my housebecause I was completely
feeling victimized by everyone.
I felt like I needed to runaway all the time.
Not only that friends, extendedfamily, whatever.

(36:34):
I was only able to really getalong with people that I never
developed a personalrelationship with because I saw
too much of a reflection ofmyself.
And once I saw those murderousthoughts and I had probably
about 120 days into A Course inMiracles by that time, plus
Vipassana meditation, and I justgo oh, here it is, right away.

(37:00):
When I came on, you know, my sonsaid something to me.
I forgot what it was.
I'm sure it wasn't.
It wouldn't even be perceivedas a big deal by anyone to have
a 12 year old tell you whateverhe told me and and I just went
into complete murderous rage.
But I didn't express it outward,I laid down on my couch and I

(37:21):
told everyone to leave me aloneand it went on all night.
I just stayed awake all nightand watched like play of
murdering this kid and feelingguilty for, as a role of mother
wanting to murder their son,right.
So that guilty feeling ispreventing me, is trying to

(37:42):
prevent me from looking at it atall At all.
Right, Like trying to get thepull was to go for some
marijuana or go for some food orget drunk or something like
that, and try not to look at itbecause it, because it was such
a guilty thing and I'm like noway, no way, I'm going to go
through this, right.
So when I went through it I sawthe thought that said I'd be

(38:04):
better off if he would.

Speaker 2 (38:05):
He was dead when it was just when it was just your
fear.
The whole time it was just yourfear that was causing all that,
and you said something just asecond ago that's really
important.
I'm noticing fear is when itmakes me unaligned with God.

(38:26):
I'm not in alignment.
And when I'm not in alignment,everything goes wrong.
My cellular system goes wrong,my disease is possible.
So just calling it out andlaughing at it like it's just
fear, no problem, and allowingit to move so I can stay aligned
again with truth.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
Well, that's a really important point too is laughing
about it.
You know the ego can't standthat.
This is serious You're.
You know you're having thoughtsof murdering your kid.
You know it's like if you can'tlaugh about it, then it's.
It's really made real right now.
It's important.
But if you can laugh about itit's like oh, how stupid is that

(39:08):
.
You know it first.
It first started, uh, when Ifirst noticed it was when, uh,
when, when he was a little babyand he was crying, and it was
the middle of the night and Igot this sense like I wanted to
throw him out the window.
But he was a little baby.
And you know, at that pointthis is way before A Course in

(39:30):
Miracles all I could do waslaugh at that.
At that point I was like whatin the world, where's that
coming from?
You know, it's like I alwayshad a sense of humor about it,
sort of even before I started ACourse in Miracles, and you know
I also wasn't afraid to expressthat even to people around me.
You know it was like you knowwhat?

(39:50):
I just got a thought that Icould just throw it out the
window, right?
So so if you laugh at it, youtake away all danger.
It's making these thingsserious and real that makes us
feel like we need to repressthem.
Oh, don't tell anyone that.
What are people going to?

Speaker 2 (40:10):
think Right.
One more thing I've beenfollowing you for about 10 years
and the one thing, a theme ofyours that's so powerful is
isn't this fun?
Because I say that now?
Because when my senses are allheightened and I got adrenaline,
I got hot flashes, I go whew,isn't this fun?

(40:30):
I mean my body's reacting.
I must be in something you know, passionate, and I'm just.
It's not, it's me, it's notthem, I'm just having an
experience in my body right now.

Speaker 1 (40:41):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
I love that expression.
I use it all the time.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
Oh, I'm so glad.
Thank you, yeah, all the time.
Oh, I'm so glad, thank you,yeah, that's fun.
Yeah, 10 years, wow, thank you,so fun.
Thanks a lot.
Yeah, this is the guy I'm goingto visit in Sedona, by the way.
That's so fun.
He's very nice and he's supertuned in.
He's a real sweetie.

Speaker 2 (41:06):
Yeah, looking forward to that, making up some fun
things to do.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
Oh, cool, okay yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
I'm looking.
I'm really charged up about it.
So bring your presence here.
Oh yeah, bring your love beinghere to Sedona.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
Yeah Well, you know what I'm going to do.
I'm just going to mute you fornow, but I'll keep you on as an
analyst.
That way, if you want to justcome back on and talk, you'll
already.
Let's see, I'm going to stopyour video.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
Start it back up easily.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
Perfect, thank you.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
Thanks, Thomas.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
Okay, all right, so we're moving on.
Let me just make sure no oneelse has any questions.
Oh, durga, sometimes it's soclear that it is fear.
Sometimes it's like being sodrunk you think you're sober.
How do I become more aware ofunconscious fear?
Okay, so the way to become moreaware of unconscious fear
recognize anytime you feel anykind of fear, and that's

(42:19):
anything from concern all theway down to murderous rage.
Recognize that that is comingfrom the unconscious mind.
It's something that you'rechoosing now.
We're going to get more intothis too, through this session.
We're going to get more intothis.
It's something that you'rechoosing right now.

(42:39):
Just being aware of that.
Whatever it seems you seem to beafraid of, it doesn't matter
what it is.
So I worked with a therapistthat said my personality would
split if I looked at mychildhood.
Okay, yeah, your childhood isalso projected now.
You don't really have to gothat far.
It's not really necessary.

(43:00):
It's all right now.
Your child's good comes upright now.
That's cool, you know, it's allnow.
So, yeah, the split mind iswhat keeps the ego safe.
That's what keeps the ego safe.
So you just take it as it comes.
Any kind of fear that's beingprojected into the field.

(43:22):
It's your recognizing thatthat's coming from your
unconscious mind and that you dowant to see it.
You want to see its origin, youwant to look at it with the
Holy Spirit so that it could beresolved.
Okay, so let me see if I canchange this split screen thing.
Maybe not.
Let me see.
If I put on hold, what doesthat do?

(43:46):
Oh, okay, thomas, I want tomake sure you can still hear me.
I put you on hold so it wasn'ta split screen.
Just send me a little note andmake sure so I can make sure you
can hear me.
If not, I'll take you off holdand put you back to, uh,
attendee.
Oh, yeah, I think I just like Ijust muted him out.

(44:12):
Okay, I'm moving you back toattendee because I don't know
how to get you without a splitscreen.
Okay, okay, that's better.
All right, we'll get toeverything here.
Okay, so what I'm going to dowith sentence one of paragraph
seven is I'm going to read thefootnote first and we'll get

(44:37):
into.
It is about Otto Rank.
He's another psychoanalyst, Iguess you would call it.
Otto Rank was one of Freud'sclosest colleagues until their
break in 1926.
Rank was the only earlypsychoanalyst to emphasize the

(45:01):
centrality of will in humanpsychology.
In Rank's system we are notmerely determined by unconscious
and biological forces butdetermine ourselves through our
will, artistic creation and thefunction of will in creating
one's individual self asdifferentiated from parental

(45:33):
influence.
He also emphasized willconflicts, a term that Jesus
just used right here in chapter2.
So we went over this.
It was chapter two, part 10.
This is probably two sessionsago.
Such is the conflict betweenthe will to separate and the

(45:56):
will to unite.
So will conflicts.
That's something that Otto Rankintroduced.
So I made notes about thisfootnote.
So it's showing that Rank'scontribution was unique amongst
early psychoanalysts because heplaced the will was about

(46:16):
self-determination,differentiation from parental
influence and navigating willconflicts like the will to

(46:38):
separate versus the will tounite.
So this helps us see why Jesuscalled Rank's concept
particularly good.
This is in the next sentencethat we're getting to.
He's calling it particularlygood.
It already had echoes of ACourse in Miracles' idea that
the will matters but also whyJesus said it needed extending

(47:02):
into union with God's willrather than staying at the level
of individual human creativity.
So here's the sentence,paragraph seven, sentence one.
So Jesus is saying here rank'sconcept of the will was
particularly good, except thathe preferred to ally it only

(47:25):
with humanity's own trulycreative ability but did not
extend it to its proper unionwith God's basically God's will.
So let's break it down.
It says here Rank's concept ofthe will was particularly good.
So Jesus is giving credit toOtto Rank for his understanding

(47:48):
of the will.
Rank saw the will as a positivecreative force in human beings,
a step in the right direction.
So Jesus is saying this is astep in the right direction,
compared to Freud's moredeterministic view, except that
he preferred to ally it withhumanity's own truly creative

(48:11):
ability.
That's what it says in thesentence.
So here, rank's concept of thewill was particularly good,
except that he preferred to allyit with humanity's own truly
creative ability.
Rank limited the scope of thewill to human self-expression.
So here's where he went wrong.
He limited it to humanself-expression and personal

(48:35):
creativity, art, ideas,individuality.
He saw it as an inherent powerof the human psyche rather than
a function of a higher source.
See what Jesus is telling usthat our will is actually a
function of a higher source.
See what Jesus is telling usthat our will is actually a
function of a higher source.
Okay.
So back to the sentence.
Here Rank's concept of the willwas particularly good, except

(49:00):
that he preferred to ally itonly with humanity's own truly
creative ability, but did notextend it to its proper union
with God's.
So this is where Jesus saysrank fell short.
True will is not independent ofhuman power.

(49:20):
It's God's will, expressedthrough us.
Our creative ability is realonly when it's in alignment with
God's creation.
See, you know, it says otherplaces in A Course in Miracles
too, that all we have left ofour creative ability here is the
ability to will with God andforgive our illusions.

(49:42):
We're not creating here, we'remaking shit up, right.
We're not creating here, we'remaking shit up right.
So it's not when it's separatedinto human-centered framework.
So he's still using it.
Otto Rank is still using it fordreaming.
So A Course in Miracles isteaching us that there's only

(50:02):
one will.
It's God's will, the ego's willreally doesn't exist.
It's God's will, the ego's willreally doesn't exist.
What we call our will is eitherin harmony with miracle
mindedness or it's in oppositionto it, which is basically we're
listening to the ego.
So Rank's version of the willwas still ego based, because it

(50:22):
stopped short of acknowledgingthe source of all creativity.
Creativity that's divorced fromGod's will becomes misperception
of acknowledging the source ofall creativity.
Creativity that's divorced fromGod's will becomes
misperception.
Still powerful, but used toreinforce separation instead of
extending love, we want to useit only for extending love.

(50:50):
All right, everyone's doinggood, yay, yay.
So the practical implication ofthis is, when we rely on our
own creative powers apart fromGod, we're going to mix truth
with illusion.
Okay, when we align with God's,will we bring clarity, purpose,

(51:17):
joy, because it restores ourcreations to their rightful
function, which is onlyextending love.
That's what forgiveness does.
It restores all of ourcreations to their rightful
function, which is extendinglove.
Which is extending love?

(51:39):
It's truth.
So a simple self-check Doesthis creative impulse feel like
it comes from joy and peace orfrom striving and
self-definition?
Are we trying to defineourselves?
That's what people are goingthrough.
A friend asked me the other daywhat do you aspire to do when
you're over there in Sedona?
Nothing, I don't aspire to doanything.
I'm just being.

(52:01):
I don't need to do anything.
Anything that I need to do willjust arise spontaneously.
I don't have any.
How are you going to make money?
I'm like I don't need to makemoney.
I'm sustained by the love ofGod Right, I don't have to think
about that anymore, andeveryone's sustained by the love

(52:23):
of God, but for the most part,people don't know it.
So there's all this.
There's this using the creativeimpulse to try to make
ourselves something.
How can I define myself so Ican be important in this world
and people can pay me for onething?
How can I move to define myself?
What I see, since I had thatcome with such clarity that I'm

(52:48):
sustained by the love of Godpretty much last year, that came
with great clarity after goingand becoming a realtor.
Apparently I was thinking Ineed to do something.
And going through all that,what I see is, whatever it is
that seems to make money.

(53:09):
It just arises spontaneously asit needs to and there's no way
I'm going to be needing anythingthat I don't have.
That's just.
It's just really clear.
You know, and I've been lookingin that direction for a really
long time and bringing myillusions to the truth and going
through the pain of it andlooking at the fear and all that

(53:29):
for a while and then eventuallyit just that's just the way it
goes.
It comes to clarity, it justcomes to clarity.
So this self-check.
Does this creative impulse feellike it comes from joy and peace
, being sustained in God andloved by God, or from striving
and self-definition?

(53:49):
Am I trying to get attention?
Am I trying to score anotherbody?
Or, you know, is it needy?
So a creative impulse can pointto union with God's will or to
an ego substitute.
Just notice, it's not a matterof making yourself bad.
You're just getting better atnoticing these things.

(54:12):
So you're seeing, you'rerecognizing your tendencies, so
they can be looked on with theHoly Spirit and resolved.
So back to Otto Rank.
Otto Rank rightly saw will ascreative and powerful, but by
keeping it human-centered, hemissed its true strength Union
with God's will.

(54:32):
He missed its true strengthUnion with God's will.
This is where all creativitybegins and ends, you know.
It reminds me of the verse seekfirst the kingdom of heaven and
all else will be added onto you.
It's like you're just usingthat creative impulse to
constantly do God's will.
Let everything else fall intoplace, it'll all work out.

(54:54):
Let everything else fall intoplace, it'll all work out,
whatever way, you know, nottrying to define ourselves, just
letting ourselves be defined bythis creativity.
This is God's will, and God'swill for us is perfect happiness
.
We certainly don't need to beafraid.

(55:14):
All right, everyone's doinggood.
I love it.
I'm always checking on you, sofeel free to write me if you
need anything or raise your hand, all right.
So we're on to paragraph seven,sentence two, and we got another
footnote.
We're going to start with afootnote.
This is about birth trauma.
Note this is about birth trauma.

(55:35):
So in the trauma of birth thisis from 1924, otto Rank put
forward the idea that the shockof separation from the mother at
birth is the basis of allanxiety and neurosis.
Don't you guys totally see thatin psychology today, even
spiritual stuff, right, right,we're always going back to that.

(55:57):
We're doing rebirthing and allthis kind of stuff, right, so
let's so.
So here Jesus is going to talkabout it, but, but here it is
about this footnote, his theoryof birth trauma.
Auto ranks, their theory ofbirth trauma, proposed that
physical birth is the first andmost significant source of
anxiety.

(56:17):
He described it as a universalhuman experience of being forced
from the safety of the wombinto a world of separation where
we must now breathe and existindependently.
He linked this trauma to laterpsychological struggles,
believing that it set thepattern for anxiety and the

(56:37):
longing to return to an earlierstate of unity or security.
So you know, think of trying togo back to the womb where
you're just completely takencare of in there, right?
I've definitely heard thatconcept before, heard that

(56:58):
concept before.
So he also connected birthtrauma to creativity, suggesting
that artistic expression was,in part, an attempt to overcome
or work through the psychicshock of birth.
So let's see what Jesus has tosay about that.
Okay, so this sentence hisspeaking of Otto, otto Rank, his
birth trauma, another valididea was also too limited in

(57:22):
that it did not refer to theseparation, which was really a
false idea of birth.
See, separation is a false ideaof birth.
We talked about this before.
Actually, it was last week atNamaste.
You know, when God created uswith individual awareness to

(57:43):
have individual awareness, weperceived it as a sort of birth,
like we're separate from thesource.
Now, we didn't view it as thisgreat gift of having individual
awareness in God.
We viewed it as being anindividual, a separate and, yeah
, kicked out Good, I like that.

(58:06):
Yes, kicked out of heaven.
That's what we viewed it as.
But that wasn't what it was.
It was actually a great gift,this individual awareness, and
it is it still.
Is this great gift right?
So he's saying this was a falseidea of birth.
So Otto's birth trauma anothervalid idea.

(58:29):
So we're looking at that partof the sentence now.
He proposed that physical birthitself was a traumatic event for
the psyche, our firstexperience of loss and
separation.
Jesus acknowledges the idea hassome truth.
The sense of being torn from aprior state of unity does cause

(58:50):
fear.
So there's some truth to that.
But he's saying it was also toolimited.
The concept is valid but notcomplete.
Rank stopped at the level ofthe body and did not recognize
the metaphysical root.
And then here's the sentencecontinues In that it did not

(59:11):
refer to the separation.
So his birth trauma anothervalid idea was also too limited
in that it did not refer to theseparation.
So here Jesus is shifting thecause from physical birth to the
mind's belief in separationfrom God.
This is the real birth trauma.

(59:34):
It was not a physical event.
That's not what it is, you guys.
So going back to the physicalevents, you're still.
You're not touching it.
You're not touching what it was.
What's going on here?
What you're making real now?
It was not a physical event butthe original misperception that
we could possibly exist apartfrom our source.

(59:56):
That is not a possibility.
So the sentence goes on Hisbirth trauma.
Another valid idea was also toolimited in that it did not
refer to the separation, whichwas really a false idea of birth
.
So which was really a falseidea of birth?
So which was really a falseidea of birth?
The separation never actuallyhappened.

(01:00:19):
So this birth into anindependent self was an illusion
from the beginning.
All we're doing, by recreatingthis birth, is just projecting
this idea that we've been kickedout of heaven.
It's the same thing, the samefeeling.
And you get kicked out of thewomb.
You're all nice and warm inthere, right, and then you get

(01:00:41):
kicked out.
You're like what the fuck isthis?
Right, it's just recreatingthat same thing.
It was the ego's invention of afalse beginning.
And imagine starting point of aself that's separate from God.
It's not the starting point ofa self that's separate from God,
it's just the start ofself-awareness in God.

(01:01:04):
That's the reframing of it.
It's a self-awareness in God.
It's where you've been created,as a divine abstraction, a
distinct divine abstraction.
It seems to have a beginning,but there's no end to it.
It's eternal.
It doesn't die.

(01:01:26):
The self that you're created tobe does not die, it's eternal,
does not die, it's eternal.
So to summarize that sentence,physical events, including birth
, can remind us of theseparation they do.

(01:01:47):
They remind us of theseparation, but they are not the
cause of our fear.
Physical birth is not the causeof our fear.
That's what Jesus is sayinghere.
The true trauma is the instantthe mind entertained the idea of
being separate.
That's what Jesus is sayinghere.
The true trauma is the instantthe mind entertained the idea of
being separate.
That's the true trauma.
It was a choice to imagine lifeapart from God, and since the
separation is unreal in itself,its birth is equally unreal, and

(01:02:12):
so it can be completely undone,where we don't have to keep on
recreating these imaginarybirths into a separate world
like this.
Our reality is far morebeautiful and joyful.
It's not separate like this.
So, for healing, for practicalimplication and healing, if we

(01:02:35):
believe our fear comes fromphysical events, which is look
how common that is you guys,everyone's trying to go back and
try to get rid of birth trauma.
Physical birth, though, notseparation from God.
That's the true trauma ourbelief that that happened.
But Jesus is revealing a deepertruth here.
Okay, so we will try to heal atthe level of the body, but it

(01:03:01):
can only bring temporary relief.
That's the ego's plan.
Keep bringing temporary relief.
That's what all psychology isbased on.
Even still, I checked with AI.
I said has that changed sinceJesus said this stuff in the
late 60s?
Has that changed in modernpsychology?

(01:03:22):
No, it hasn't.
It is still based on these samekind of theories.
So, yeah, we're going fortemporary relief for the most
part.
That's why we use A Course inMiracles.
We're doing true psychologyhere.
This is true psychology.

(01:03:42):
So healing requires tracing allfear back to the mind's belief
in separation.
That's all it is.
That's what it requires.
Back to belief in separation.
Oh, this is belief inseparation, this thought about
murdering someone, belief inseparation.
That's all Allowing the HolySpirit to show us that this
birth never even happened, as ingetting kicked out of God.

(01:04:07):
So Rank was right that birthcan feel like trauma, but Jesus
is revealing a deeper truth.
Our only real birth trauma wasbelieving we separated from God
and that's an event that did nothappen.
That's why we trace the fearback to that event.
We get healing for it and overtime which is what time is for

(01:04:32):
we actually eliminate thatbelief that we ever separated
altogether.
That's what we're doing throughforgiveness and being the light
of the world.
Okay, so Thomas made a commenthere your will is God's will.
Yes, he says he, she, uh God,he, she says he, she, uh God

(01:04:58):
apparently wanted to go toMexico for six weeks and it
turned out being three months.
If it promotes unity andoneness, it is God.
Yes, we know we.
We know.
If it feels like separation, wejust go inside to know.
Yeah, we recognize when itfeels like separation.
Yeah, anywhere that I seem togo, it's God's will for

(01:05:21):
spreading unity, extending unityand love and forgiveness.
That's all it ever is.
And I look at everything likethat.
Doesn't matter.
Whatever I seem to do, whateverapparent choices I seem to make
, you know I go with God's willin mind, even if it seems like
it's something terrible, even ifit seems like it has bad

(01:05:45):
results, for me, for instance.
All right, so we're going tothe next sentence.
Thank you, thomas.
The next sentence, paragraphseven, sentence three physical

(01:06:09):
birth is not a trauma in itself.
What a sweet sentence.
Physical birth is not a traumain itself.
So, what a sweet sentence.
Physical birth is not a traumain itself.
So then you look at that andyou go, what the fuck is
everyone doing then Trying toheal that trauma?
That's not even a trauma.
Physical birth is basically thebody's entry into the world.
This is the event that Rankbased his birth trauma theory on

(01:06:34):
Bodies entering into the world.
Physical birth is not.
Jesus completely removes theassumption that the act of being
born into a body is inherentlydamaging.
It's nothing, it's reallynothing, he says, especially an
underwater birth.
Yeah, I mean whatever it couldbe the most traumatic birth.

(01:06:59):
Let's say you know, you got theuh it seems like to me right
Cords wrapped around the neck.
You know, from my perspective,the most traumatic one that I
gave birth with was where theyinduced me.
There just seems to be a lotmore pain going on there.
So let's say you know, whateveryou can imagine is the most
traumatic thing.
Jesus is saying physical birthis not a trauma in itself.

(01:07:24):
So it's not a trauma in itself.
That means there's nothingintrinsically harmful or fearful
about the process of birth.
There really isn't.
That's what I learned by thethird one.
I did this thing called hypnobabies, where I just hypnotize
myself to see the whole thingdifferently, and it was

(01:07:45):
wonderful.
I felt no pain.
It was amazing and I wasn't onanything.
I had no, any kind of nothing,not even marijuana, nothing at
all.
To try to limit pain, I justuse this thing called
hypnobabies and basically thisis very enlightening for me.
This was way before A Course inMiracles.
It was 2008 when my third kidwas born and it just showed me

(01:08:07):
the power of the mind there.
The whole practice of hypnobnobabies was to see the whole
birthing experience as different.
Instead of calling itcontractions, we called it
birthing waves and somethingeaseful and beautiful.
And everything is going rightand I'm opening and I oh yeah, I

(01:08:28):
feel pressure.
Yeah, there's some pressure,downward pressure, a head is
moving through a canal, but itwasn't anything fearful.
We made it that way.
That showed me that and thatjust by by going through that
birthing of my son with adifferent point of view, after
having, you know, a lot of painin birth before, it's a totally
different point of view and youknow, after he, after he popped

(01:08:52):
out, the whole thing took anhour because I was just so calm
and I was just experiencingcompletely different Afterwards.
I was having such a spiritualexperience because I was, like,
so amazed at the power of themind to see things differently.
And, like I said, this is likesix years before I ever opened A

(01:09:17):
Course in Miracles.
I hadn't been involved in verymuch, my guess is you could say,
like more modern spirituality.
I was raised a Christianmissionary.
I didn't really learn about thepower of the mind, I don't feel
throughout that, but it justcame to me through this birthing
that, wow, can I just applythis to everything?
That's what arose in my mindEmotions, can I just apply this

(01:09:39):
to emotions and everything?
That was the question in mymind and I'm sure that's why you
know, all these other thingsstarted coming to me, because
that was the question I had andthat definitely there was hope
that that and faith that thatdefinitely could occur.
So physical birth is not atrauma in itself.

(01:10:00):
There's nothing harmful orfearful about the process of
birth.
Any distress experienced is notcaused by the event giving
birth.
Look at that.
That's another way.
Durga, you were asking abouthow to recognize fear.
Look, we automatically thinkthat birthing is painful and
what Jesus is telling us here isany distress experience is not

(01:10:23):
caused by the event itself.
That's basically what he'ssaying.
He's saying physical birth isnot a trauma in itself.
It's by the meaning our mind isgiving to it.
I saw that firsthand.
It's totally in our own mindgiving meaning to this shit.
So, in A Course in Miracles, thebody's neutral.

(01:10:44):
It does not cause pain ortrauma.
It doesn't cause pain or trauma, only the mind.
This is how we learn to see.
Only the mind, throughinterpretation, can make any
event fearful.
There's no fearful event.
Go into the dentist, forinstance.
Just apply it, recognize it.

(01:11:05):
Any pain you perceive I was justgetting some skin treatments
where they're actually burningme with a laser right, and the
whole time that's what I'm doing.
I'm noticing any pain that I'mexperiencing.
That's just fear, and it's notto try to like eliminate the
pain like that.
It's to recognize what is heldin the subconscious mind.

(01:11:28):
So I'm approaching that withdeep breath and approaching the
whole thing like that.
It's simple.
The practice is really simple.
So, since birth is a physicaloccurrence, it has no power in
itself to create any lastingfear.
See that it has no power tocreate lasting fear in us.

(01:11:51):
The trauma only comes when themind uses the event to reinforce
the belief in separation.
We're using it.
When we're blaming the pain onthe event, we're really using it
to reinforce the fear ofseparation.
The real cause of fear isalways the mind's choice to see

(01:12:11):
itself as separate.
It's not the body's experiences.
There's no experiences that'sright or wrong either.
It's so fun when I get the,when I well, I think I'm done
with all those, those burningso-called skincare treatments.
You know, it always has like adeeper, a deeper layer.
You know something that you'reyou may be going through and

(01:12:33):
seeing and willingness to see.
But you know, as I was goingthrough it, I was like really
aware, like staying awake towhat I'm projecting, that I'm
projecting this pain.
It's like, wow, I'm reallyprojecting some pain, because
even the burning of the skin,like that with a laser, can't
cause any pain.
So it's really just recognizingthat that's fear.

(01:12:55):
All pain is fear, it doesn'tmatter what it is.
So if we attribute our distressto physical events, if we
attribute our distress tophysical events, even something
as primal as birth, we keep thecause of fear outside the mind,
where it can't be healed.
It's as if something can causeus pain.

(01:13:19):
So that's making the fearseparate from our mind and
really we're compartmentalizingthat fear and keeping it hidden.
So recognizing that physicalbirth is not inherently
traumatic, allows us to stopdefending against it, not
inherently traumatic, allows usto stop defending against it and

(01:13:41):
instead look at the thoughtsystem that uses birth as a
reminder of separation.
You hear all the screaming inthe hospitals if you're in the
birthing ward.
I went there three.
Well, I went there two times.
The third time I was in amidwifery, but two times that I
went there I'd hear peoplescreaming, and both times, you
know.
The second time hear peoplescreaming and both times, you
know.
The second time was a lot morepain, apparently, you know,
because I apparently got induced.
Still, it's my mind evenbringing about the induction so

(01:14:10):
I could have an experience ofmore pain.
It's still not outside of mymind, it's still fear.
At the time I didn't know that,but still, at the time I wasn't
loud about it and I would hearpeople scream.
I'm like, why are they doingthat?
Like how does that helpanything?
Like how is that really helping?
And what I see is thatscreaming is really just
reinforcing the same thing.

(01:14:31):
It's like, ah, this is causingthis to me, even when it seemed
like it was really intense, Iwould just breathe through it
and not knowing that it's justfear.
At that time I didn't know.
Now we're talking about all theway back to 2001, way before I

(01:14:52):
tried A Course in Miracles.
So physical birth is actuallyneutral and any sense of trauma
we're associating with it comesfrom the ego's interpretation,
the ego's interpreting it astrauma, and it's not coming from
the event itself.
This is just something torecognize.
Whenever you get an experienceof pain, you stub your toe,

(01:15:15):
anything.
This applies to physical andemotional pain.
All pain is fear.
All pain is fear.
You know, when I found myself ina really dire situation where
it seemed like the pain was sogreat, like after I apparently
fell off a cliff, the pain in mytailbone was so great it felt

(01:15:37):
like in the thought that came tome, I need to be knocked out by
some kind of drug or likekilled right now because this
pain is so intense.
And you know that was 2022.
So I'd been practicing A Coursein Miracles by that time for
eight years, so it was justsecond nature to me to go into
pain is fear.

(01:15:58):
That's what I went to, right,you know, in my mind with those
thoughts and I even asked mybrother to come and hold my hand
and look into my eyes so we canagree on that together.
And when that happened the painwas just gone.
There was some shaking likeseemed like the body went into a
convulsion and then there wasjust comfort in laying there.

(01:16:19):
It's like, oh, thank goodness.
But it was right at the end ofholding hands and looking in
each other's eyes and sayingpain is fear.
It has no cause aside from fearand just being really adamant
about that.
So if that arises for youheadache anything you know I had

(01:16:45):
a friend I say had because Ihaven't talked to her in a long
time, but she's still my friend.
I have a friend who, quite awhile ago, used to take
pharmaceutical drugs for aheadache.
And I go, you know you can gothrough the headache and
recognize that it's fear.
And so eventually she did that.
She sat through it, recognizingthat the headache is fear.

(01:17:07):
You know she just totallyeliminated the need to take any
pharmaceutical drugs about it.
That's another example.
Just use it like that.
So the bottom line is physical.
Birth is neutral and any senseof trauma we associate with it
comes from the ego'sinterpretation.
It does not come from the event.

(01:17:28):
True healing is rememberingthat nothing in form, including
birth, can separate us from God.
That's truly the miracle,whether you're getting relief
from pain right there or not.
You know, in my case I hadrelief from pain, immediate
relief, I mean.
Still there was the ongoing.

(01:17:49):
It seemed like I had nervedamage and my butt went flat for
about a year.
I had nerve damage and my buttwent flat for about a year.
But you know, there's stillmore unseen, unconscious fear in
my mind.
Obviously, otherwise I wouldnot be projecting a body that I
didn't have complete commandover, right.

(01:18:11):
So hooray to that.
And isn't this that?
And isn't this fun, isn't thisfun?
So let's go to paragraph eight,sentence one, and we have
another footnote to start outwith so we can see what.
What's going on with thissentence.
So footnote 138 in paragraph 8.

(01:18:38):
Ranks this is Otto Rank.
Again Ranks' Will Therapy,originally published as two
works in 1929 and 1931,published in English as Will
Therapy in 1936, emphasizedchoice, responsibility and
action.
He said Thus my concept allowsfor operation of the patient's

(01:18:59):
own will as the mostconstructive force in the
therapeutic process.
He taught that neurosis is dueto poor will organization and
that patients can regain theirauthentic will through analysis
in a process of self-creation.
So key notes about thisfootnote.

(01:19:23):
So his emphasis is choice,responsibility and action is
central to healing.
He saw the patient's own willas the most constructive force
in therapy.
And here's his definition ofneurosis a result of poor will
organization.
His cure was to help patientsregain their authentic will

(01:19:45):
through analysis of a process ofself-creation.
So this is why Jesus wouldaffirm the potential.
The focus on will recognizes themind's power to choose which is
essential to a course inmiracles the power to choose,
the mind's power to choose.
Where it falls short.

(01:20:07):
Rank kept will therapy centeredon human self-determinism and
self-creation rather thanextending will to its true union
with God's will.
God's will is our true will.
That's another teaching of ACourse in Miracles.
From the Course's view,self-creation apart from God is

(01:20:27):
totally impossible.
So that's where he's going awry.
True creation is always withGod.
So let's go to the sentence.
Back to Jesus channeling hereand this is paragraph eight the
idea of quote will therapy waspotentially a very powerful one.

(01:20:47):
But rank did not see its realpotential because he himself
used his mind, partly to createa theory of the mind, also
partly to attack Freud.
This is an interesting topictoo.
So the idea of will therapy waspotentially a very powerful one

(01:21:10):
.
So Jesus is acknowledging thatRank's therapeutic focus on the
will had significant promise.
Since the will is the mind'sdecision-making faculty, working
with it could have led directlyto miracle-mindedness if it was
correctly understood andapplied.
So then he says but Rank didnot see its real potential.

(01:21:34):
The limitation wasn't in theconcept, it was in Rank's
perspective.
His interpretation did notreach the level of aligning the
will with the will of God.
So it didn't align with thewill of the person with the will
of God, the will of the personwith the will of God, because he

(01:22:00):
himself used his mind partly tocreate a theory of the mind.
So this shows that Rank'sapproach was partially
constructive.
He was genuinely trying tounderstand human psychology and
offer a framework for healing.
So Jesus goes on.
Here's the sentence in whole.
The idea of will therapy waspotentially a very powerful one,

(01:22:20):
but Rank did not see its realpotential because he himself
used his mind partly to create atheory of the mind, but also
partly to attack Freud.
So here Jesus is exposing anego motive beneath rank's work.
This is what prevented him fromseeing.
Because he wanted to attackFreud Instead of focusing purely

(01:22:45):
on the truth.
His energy was divided.
Now look at how we tend to dothis.
Just watch this.
Using his intellect both tocreate and to oppose this.
Using his intellect both tocreate and to oppose, this
competitive stance diluted thehealing potential of his
insights, because attack isalways a use of the mind that

(01:23:05):
reinforces separation.
So that's where he fell short.
He was at odds with Freud.
So the will can be used forcreation aligned with love.
It has to be aligned with love,right or miscreation aligned
with attack.
So his divided purpose showshow even a good idea and you

(01:23:32):
know Jesus is saying that thisis a particularly valid idea
loses power when it's mixed withattack thoughts In ACIM terms,
a pure purpose.
This is free of judgment,competition or the need to be
right.
Do you need to be right?
It's always an idea.
This is what allows an idea tobe fully used for the Holy
Spirit If it's free from allthese things.

(01:23:54):
So any attempt to prove anotherperson wrong, like in this
sentence, to attack Freud Jesussays he used it to attack Freud
is a decision for separationthat's blocking the miracle.
So here's the practicalimplication of this sentence.
Even in spiritual orpsychological work, it's easy to

(01:24:15):
mix creative intention with theimpulse to oppose or prove your
own superiority.
Isn't that fun just to watch?
You know, we got to be funabout it, because if we're not,
we're trying to pretend likeit's not happening.
We're trying to pretend likewe're not doing that.
This is just an ego tendency.
Being aware of your tendencieslight and comical about it

(01:24:39):
really helps.
It really helps.
Oh, look at that.
See, the ego's competitivedrive can subtly hijack our most
inspired ideas, making themvehicles for defense instead of
healing.
Okay, here's a helpfulself-check defense instead of
healing.
Okay, here's a helpfulself-check.

(01:24:59):
Am I sharing this insight?
To extend love or to provesomeone else wrong?
I check myself on that all thetime, especially being on social
media, because people will comeon and basically disagree with
me, sometimes in a forceful way,and you know what I'll do.
I'll use that.
I won't be in a rush to answerthem, right.
I'll use that to feel into it.
Okay, where is this coming from?

(01:25:19):
I'll ask Jesus, I'll ask theHoly Spirit to be with me, to be
guiding me.
What would you have me say?
To extend love, to share what'strue and also extend love and
not be opposed, because it's soeasy to be opposed, to be
argumentative, right, and youknow, I know this from

(01:25:41):
experience because I argued formany years.
You know it's like you got togo through it to see it.
I know from experience.
I did it for a long time.
The guidance to go on socialmedia was in 2009, well before
opening A Course in Miracles.
And it took till well afteropening A Course in Miracles

(01:26:02):
before I was able to see oh,that's trying to prove people
wrong.
No wonder it feels so weird.
No wonder it's got this anxiouskind of feeling.
And just touching him with, howdo I feel?
Notice how I feel?
Does this feel peaceful tocommunicate, or do I have this
anxious thing going on?
I'm going to tell them right.
This really hits home for me.

(01:26:23):
I love it.
So the bottom line here withthis sentence is that will
therapy could have been aprofound bridge.
This is Otto Rank's baby here.
Will therapy could have been aprofound bridge to aligning the
mind with God's will.
But Rank divided his intention,creating while also attacking.

(01:26:45):
That's what limited its power.
And for me I can see that'swhat limited my power all those
years to communicate, because Iwas partially.
There was a part of me that wassincere, that wanted to share
the love of God and share thetruth.
And then there was also anotherpart of my mind that was
attacking other points of view.
See, so that's limited my powerto communicate.

(01:27:08):
So, in a course, in miraclesterms, the will's full potential
emerges only when it's unifiedin purpose.
Unified in purpose and free ofattack.
Hooray, all right, everyone'sdoing good.
Thank you for hanging All right.

(01:27:28):
Yeah, we got less than a halfhour left, right.
Time goes fast when you'rehaving fun with this stuff.
Huh, I mean, that's what I feel.
I'm like, wow, all right.
So the next sentence, paragrapheight, sentence two His
reactions to Freud stemmed fromhis own unfortunate acceptance

(01:27:49):
of the deprivation fallacy.
This is what his reactions stemfrom his acceptance of this
deprivation fallacy, whichitself arose from the separation
.
So let's get into the sentenceHis reactions to Freud.
This points to Rank's personaland professional response.
After their break, they had abreakup.
They were working together andthen they had a breakup.

(01:28:11):
Rather than being purely aboutideas, his reactions were
influenced by deeper, unhealedbelief.
It says.
Stemmed from His reactions toFreud.
Stemmed from.
This indicates cause.
His stance toward Freud wasn'tjust intellectual, it originated
in a specific thought system.

(01:28:33):
So his reactions to Freudstemmed from his own unfortunate
acceptance of the deprivationfallacy.
Now, the deprivation fallacy isthe belief that something real
can be taken from you.
Isn't it that loss is possible,right, something real can be
threatened, or that another'sgain is your loss.

(01:28:55):
So this is what, why he washaving trouble.
It assumes lack is real andresources whether love,
recognition, creativity arelimited.
Okay, so his reactions to Freudstemmed from his own
unfortunate acceptance of thedeprivation fallacy, which

(01:29:16):
itself arose from the separation.
Okay, these are Jesus's words.
That's the sentence.
This false belief in deprivationcomes from the mind's original
acceptance of the separationfrom God.
Okay, so you know.
You can get confused by thissentence if you're not familiar
with the Course in Miracles,because it says which itself

(01:29:36):
arose from the separation.
Jesus didn't even clarify rightthere that the separation never
happened.
You kind of have to draw thatbased on what the rest of A
Course in Miracles is saying.
There is no separation.
So let's just reaffirm thatright now.
This false belief in deprivationcomes from the mind's original
acceptance of separateness fromGod.
It doesn't come from theseparation, it's acceptance of

(01:30:00):
the separation, because there isno separation.
Believing in separationautomatically brings the
perception of scarcity andcompetition.
That's what he was dealing with.
That's why he felt like he hadto attack Freud In order for his
points to be valid.
He felt like he had toinvalidate Freud.
That's what keeps us locked.

(01:30:21):
So we don't have to focus likethat on what anyone else is
saying.
We don't have to invalidateanything.
Anyone else is saying it's fine, acim perspective, okay.
So in ACIM terms, thedeprivation fallacy is central
to the ego's thought system.
If you're separate, you mustcompete for what you need.

(01:30:42):
Notice that in business right,others can harm you or diminish
you.
That's the idea others can harmyou or diminish you.
This belief is what fuelsrivalry, jealousy and
defensiveness, even inintellectual and creative arenas
I would say especially inintellectual and creative arenas

(01:31:05):
.
All forms of competition arerooted in this error.
That God's love and your truecreative power can be diminished
.
Okay, that God's love and yourtrue creative power can be
diminished, okay.
So here's practically themoment we see another's work,
talent or success as threateningto our own.
That's when we're in thedeprivation fallacy.

(01:31:27):
Nothing is threatening us,we're making it all up.
Healing comes from rememberingthat we share one creative
source.
Nothing real can be lost ortaken away.
Reactions based on deprivationwill always contain some attack
energy.
This is how they did.

(01:31:49):
This is how it was for Rank andFreud, which dilutes the
healing potential of our work.
So rank's rivalry with withfreud was not about ideas alone.
It was rooted in the falsebelief that another's creative
contribution could diminish ourown.
This belief, born of separation, is undone simply by

(01:32:13):
remembering that all creation isshared and cannot be lost.
This is how we truly contributewith our ideas, with our
insights.
This is how we truly contribute, not by competition, by going
against anyone else.
I notice that nowadays, you know, when someone comes on,

(01:32:35):
especially social media, that'sa common thing Someone will come
on with an idea that seems tobe an opposing idea.
I'm able to include.
See people you know going offgetting aha moments where at

(01:32:55):
first they they seem to becoming in an attack energy, but
they seem to get oh oh, now Isee what you actually mean.
Oh, okay, they don't have tonecessarily agree, but then this
attack kind of thing is justresolved and that is that leads
to creativity and healing.
True creative, true creativityis forgiving our illusions, at

(01:33:20):
least in this dream.
So you guys are looking good.
Everyone seems to be uh,everything, everyone seems to be
chilling.
Don't have any questions.
Thank you for hanging with me.
I appreciate you.
We'll go on to the nextsentence.
This is sentence three ofparagraph eight.

(01:33:41):
This led him to believe that hisown mind's creation could stand
only if the creation ofanother's fell.
So this led him to believe thisis auto Rank again, acceptance
of the deprivation fallacy thatbelief naturally produces.
That belief naturally producescompetitive, defensive thinking

(01:34:04):
that his own mind's creation,his theories, insights and
psychological models, hisintellectual and creative work.
So this led him to believe thathis own mind's creation could
stand only if the creation ofanother's fell.
So this is the core ofcompetitive perception.
Again, for one person's work tobe validated, another person's

(01:34:25):
work must be diminished ordisproven.
In ego logic, the success ofanother threatens one's own
ability and worth, of anotherthreatens one's own ability and
worth.
So in the thought system of theego, creativity is seen as a
zero-sum game.
Resources, recognition andtruth itself are limited,
according to the ego.

(01:34:46):
That's why, in truth, creationis unlimited and shared.
The success of anyone's workextends your own.
It extends anyone's success intheir work extends your own.
So you know that idea was likeoh, they're doing so much and
I'm doing.
No, it's all ours, it's all us.
We don't need to do anything.

(01:35:08):
Just let creativity rollthrough you, because all real
creation comes from the samesource, and believing your work
is upheld by another's downfallis a complete inversion of God's
law, like if you get happyabout another person's downfall.
That's where you're justinverting God's law, because all

(01:35:32):
creation strengthens the whole,because all creation
strengthens the whole.
So anytime we feel the need tocritique or dismantle anyone's
contribution before our own canbe valued, look what Jesus is
doing here too.
He's giving a demonstrationhere.
He's pointing out where thesepsychoanalysts went wrong, but

(01:35:58):
he's not diminishing them.
Right, he's not diminishing,he's not attacking them.
In miracle-mindedness, wewelcome all expressions of truth
.
So we look for the expressionsof truth within everything.
Within everything, we're goingto find expressions of truth,
because they affirm our sharedreality.
That's why we want to see itlike that.

(01:36:21):
This is especially relevant inteaching, counseling or any kind
of spiritual work.
The moment we see a colleague'sinsight as competition, we've
stepped out of our own purpose.
Notice, if you're seeinganything as competition, this is
really the teaching here thatJesus is giving about.
You know, in our own mindsstepping out of competition, not

(01:36:45):
allowing that to be the thing.
So Rank's belief that his workcould stand only if Freud's fell
is the ego's formula forsuccess.
That's how the ego divinessuccess.
Look at that like in soapoperas.
That's a good place to look atit, right?
You know how everyone I don'tknow if you guys ever watched
soap operas.
My grandma used to have them onall the time, you know so.

(01:37:09):
I would Someone's cheating yeah.
And they, they're and they'regoing to get really happy when
someone else is has a downfall.
I notice that in familydynamics sometimes you know when
they'll be doing some uh, when,when they'll be doing gossiping
there's this underlying senseof of like, almost this relief,

(01:37:30):
that someone else is sufferingall right, that someone else is
suffering All right, thatsomeone else is going through
financial loss or a breakup orthey broke their arm.
There's some kind of relief ina feeling like someone else is
suffering.
Watch, that that's the ego.
You don't have to shameyourself about it or shame
anyone else about it, justnotice that when I notice that

(01:37:51):
like, I'll notice I don't noticein my mind that occurring, but
you know, when I notice thatkind of energy, I'll notice.
I don't notice in my mind thatoccurring, but you know, when I
notice that kind of energy, I'lljust automatically extend love
through my mind and that'sbasically just recognizing
what's going on and not holdingit against the other person
right, and just recognizingthat's an illusion, bringing it

(01:38:13):
to the truth.
It's not really true, that'snot really helpful.
All right, that thought is nothelpful and it's not true.
And also it has no real power.
The mind is blank when it'sprojecting, something like that.
So whatever's real in thecreation in another's mind,

(01:38:37):
whatever's actually real, canonly reinforce and support the
truth in our own.
So we want to look for what'strue.
All creation is shared.
So durga says yikes, makingsomething or someone bad or

(01:38:57):
wrong to ensure yourrighteousness?
Yeah, it's just tendency.
You know, it's not something tobe afraid of, just noticing the
tendency, it's really helpful.
Okay.
Sentence four of paragrapheight In consequence, his theory

(01:39:20):
emphasized rather thanminimized the two-edged nature
of defenses.
That's back to Jesus channeling.
Again, this is the sentence.
In consequence, his theory.
This is Otto's theory, ottoRank.
His theory emphasized ratherthan minimized the two-edged

(01:39:40):
nature of defenses.
So he says in consequence, thisis flowing directly from the
previous sentence where Rankbelieved his work could stand
only if Freud's fell.
So he's talking about this isthe consequence of that.
His theoretical framework wasinfluenced by competition and
defense.
So, in consequence, his theoryemphasized.

(01:40:04):
That means his published ideasreflected and reinforced his
personal mindset.
Theory and personal belief wereintertwined.
In consequence, his theoryemphasized rather than minimized
.
Instead of reducing the role orimpact of defenses okay, as

(01:40:25):
healing would require right Hisapproach actually gave them more
weight.
He gave defensiveness moreweight by doing this.
In consequence, his theoryemphasized, rather than minimize
so it flowed right to his workthe two-edged nature of defenses
.
Defenses are two-edged becausethey seem to protect but they

(01:40:48):
also harm.
They protect the ego's imagebut block the awareness of truth
.
Right, this is the two-edgednature of defenses.
They shield our imaginary selffrom perceived threats, but they
also keep love out.
In ACIM terms, they defend themind against God, which is the

(01:41:12):
ultimate self-attack.
Okay, so, in consequence, histheory emphasized it ended up
being his theory that he'sproducing out in the world.
Right, that people are doingbased on this theory?
Still, it emphasized, ratherthan minimize, the two-edged
nature of defenses.

(01:41:32):
So any focus on defendinginevitably makes the defense
system seem necessary andimportant, strengthening the
belief that we're vulnerable.
Isn't that what we're goingthrough?
Right, everyone's vulnerable,right, in the Course's view, the
only real safety comes fromwhat, woo?

(01:41:54):
Defenselessness, that's it.
Ding, ding, ding, because onlylove is real and nothing unreal
can threaten us.
So by emphasizing the necessityor complexity of defenses,
which is what his work did,rank's theory inadvertently kept
the mind oriented towardsseparation rather than true

(01:42:16):
release.
That's what modern psychologyis based on and that's why we're
still seeing a bunch of killing, killing, conflict, scarcity,
all that stuff.
Practical implication of thissentence for healing If we study
or analyze our defenses withoutthe intention of undoing them,

(01:42:36):
we're reinforcing the idea thatdefenses are integral to our
survival.
See that and see how commonthat is.
Right, defenses are intact.
We got to be defensive.
If we're going to survive, wegot to go to war.
For instance, if we're going tosurvive, right, how many people
believe that If a wholeshitload of people didn't

(01:42:59):
believe it, it wouldn't behappening.
Right, it's not reallyhappening, but we wouldn't
perceive it's happening.
Okay, so it's just the beliefthat we need defenses to survive
that's even causing anyapparent need for war.
It's causing apparent leadersthat would go to war, that would
say war is the solution to this.

(01:43:22):
You know people, pretty muchany person you ask it's very few
of us at this point in timeright, that would say there's no
.
Plus, war is profitable.
We got that.
Well, of course, you know, ofcourse there's people who can
also profit off of it.
But it's the people, it's theconstituents, right, it's the

(01:43:45):
mind that's going.
Yes, there are instances wherewar is helpful, where killing
people is helpful, okay.
So healing asks that we noticedefenses in order to let them go
it.
Just, you know, even in ourlife, notice defenses.
One of them is insurance.
I'm not saying you shouldn't getinsurance in a physical sense,

(01:44:08):
it's mentally recognizing oh, Idon't need any defenses, what
would I?
You know my mindset my placegot run over by lava in 2018.
I didn't have any insurance.
It's not that I couldn't getinsurance in Hawaii I could but
the idea it just showed me rightaway.
Why would I need insurance?

(01:44:29):
Whatever way it goes, isperfect for me.
How is that going to protect me?
It didn't make any sense to me.
How would that protect meagainst anything?
You know, it just really didn'tmake any sense to me.
And I'm not saying to tempt theego.
If you don't have the faith, Ihave the total faith for it.
I'm like, whatever I need toget, whatever needs to come,
it's going to come one way orthe other way.

(01:44:50):
I put insurance up or not.
Seatbelt law is another thinglike that, right, and you know,
of course I'm not saying likephysically you should try to
tempt the ego, but all thesethings that we're getting a
perception of that we do it'sbecause we believe that defenses
are necessary and that somehowthese things are going to

(01:45:10):
protect us.
They're not All right.
So if we study or analyze ourdefenses without the intention
of undoing them, we'rereinforcing the idea that
defenses are integral to oursurvival.
Healing asks that we noticedefenses in order to let them go
, not to perfect or fortify them.
Notice how the defenses justkeep on getting more perfected

(01:45:34):
as we go along.
Oh, that wasn't defensiveenough.
Let's kick it up enough.
Let's have bars on windows thatare basically on the third
floor.
Someone would have to beSpider-Man to get up to that
window, right?
Because maybe at some pointsomeone actually got in there.
I don't know.
It's a while just to see howmuch more things become

(01:45:57):
fortified against perceivedthreats.
So a self-check-in.
Am I exploring this pattern tobe free of it or to get better
at defending myself?
Am I trying to get better atdefending myself?
How much insurance do you need?
The first leads to the truth.
The second leads to thetwo-edged nature.

(01:46:20):
Okay, one more Paragraph eight,sentence five.
Well, this paragraph goes on.
It goes all the way to seven.
We'll get to five.
So Jesus says this is anoutstanding characteristic of
his concepts, because it wasoutstandingly true of him.

(01:46:43):
So this refers back to theprevious idea, rank's emphasis
on the two-edged nature ofdefenses, okay, is an
outstanding characteristic ofhis concepts.
So this trait wasn't incidental, it was a defining feature of
rank psychological theories.
That's what Jesus is saying byan outstanding characteristic of

(01:47:06):
his concepts.
His focus on defense is asnecessary and double-edged, ran
through his work as a centraltheme.
So this is an outstandingcharacteristic of his concepts
because it was outstandinglytrue of him.
So here Jesus is linking thequality of his theory directly

(01:47:29):
to his own personality and innercondition.
His work mirrored his own innerconflicts.
He was valuing defenses, notrecognizing their harm.
Actually, valuing defensivenessis harmful.
So in A Course in Miraclesmetaphysics, the idea in form
always reflects the state ofmind of their maker.

(01:47:50):
So, whatever it is, it'sreflecting the state of mind.
Do you need to lock your door?
Do you need to do an alarm?
All that kind of stuff.
It's reflecting a state of mindalways.
That doesn't mean we're makingit wrong.
We're not making it wrong.
We're not saying we shouldn'tdo that, not at all, not at all.
We will find eventually that wedon't need any of those things,
right.
But it's not to try to likerush it, it's not to tempt the

(01:48:12):
ego.
For instance, a theory bornfrom a mind still invested in
defenses will inevitably presentdefenses as significant and
necessary.
This is why ACIM stresses thathealing comes from the healed
mind.
You can't teach freedom fromwhat you're still defending.
Rank's personal investment indefense made it a prominent

(01:48:35):
theme in his thought system,just as it was a prominent
dynamic in his own life.
So practical implication ofthis sentence what we teach
through words, theories orexample always broadcasts our
own belief system.
I noticed myself when I was atthe spa, right and I just check

(01:48:56):
in, do I have the faith for this?
So I had my backpack.
My backpack basically has in itmy wallet with cards that let
me get money here in Mexico.
You know we use a lot of ATMsto get money, to get cash, to do
anything around here.
I also had my cell phone in it.
It was like, do I have thefaith for this?

(01:49:16):
No, I find myself running alocker for my wallet and my cell
phone right, not making itguilty or anything like that,
just noticing that thatparticular action is an effect
of a state of mind and I want tosee it clearly.
You see, I'm not trying tomanage my actions and trying to

(01:49:37):
make myself do something thatfeels fearful, which is just
leave my shit around at a spathat's packed, that ends up
getting packed with people,right.
So it's not about trying tomanage whatever you seem to be
doing, but recognizing it'scoming from a state of mind when
does it seem like you have todefend yourself and noticing, oh

(01:50:00):
, I want to see past that, Iactually want to feel that
defenseless, right.
And so again, you're extendingthis willingness, you're asking
the Holy Spirit to look at itwith you, and this just occurs
without, like, any break inactivity or anything like that.
It's not like, oh darn, I'mstill defensive, or something

(01:50:22):
like that.
It's just simple noticing.
So healing requires not justconceptual clarity but
willingness to let our own inneralignment be the foundation for
whatever we share.
So Rank's focus on the two-edgednature of defenses was not just

(01:50:43):
an intellectual position, itwas a personal truth for him.
His theories reflected his owninvestment in defense, showing
that what we hold in mindinevitably shapes what we teach.
So I could feel what it wouldbe like to just go oh, it's not

(01:51:06):
saying that no one's going tosteal my stuff in my dream, but
it's saying if someone steals mystuff, that's an adventure,
right, it was kind of like withthe lava flow.
It's like, oh, if my house getsrun over by lava and there's no
insurance, I felt completelyopen and willing for that
adventure to occur.

(01:51:27):
And, sure enough, lava did flowand did take the place in my
dream and it was a greatadventure.
I loved it.
It was a wonderful adventurebecause I had the faith for it,
right?
So it's not saying to setyourself up for something where
you're just going to be reallyscared.
You know and I got the sense ifI was, if I found myself here
in Mexico with no phone and noway to get to any money, that

(01:51:52):
that would be a sense of greatfear that I wasn't ready for yet
, right?
So it's like, am I game for theadventure?
It's not like putting some kindof hex on it, saying this will
not happen.
But you know, when we havecomplete command over everything
, we just know that nothing likethat would occur anyways,
because we have complete commandover everything, which is where

(01:52:14):
we're going toward.
So thank you for joiningeveryone.
I love you, kai.
Thank you for joining righthere at the end, you know, two
hours earlier next week andyou'll get to hear a lot more.
Thank you Also.
It'll be recorded so you guysare going to be able to find it
on Substack.
It's going to be there once Ipublish it, which will probably

(01:52:36):
be later tonight or sometimetomorrow, and then it'll also be
on YouTube.
Now they're automatically goingover to YouTube.
You could look for Hope JohnsonWisdom Dialogues over there and
I'll be back.
Next time I'll be live will beMonday, where I'll be doing a
wisdom dialogue.
That's like satsang sangha,where I just talk and talk and

(01:52:56):
talk, totally unrehearsed,totally unstudied.
I was studying for this one soI can give you guys more of an
insight.
Aloha Kai.
Thank you too, doriga.
Thank you, glenn, I appreciateyou and thank you for joining me
here live.
I appreciate you joining me inperson, joining me online, so

(01:53:20):
you can go to hopejohnsonorg.
All of this is funded bydonations.
If you want to donate to me,you can donate a one-time
donation or you can set it up ona monthly.
Any amount is totally helpful.
You know you can do like 10bucks a month if you feel like.
You know you want to justdonate to this and keep it going
, or you can do lump sum,whatever you want, or you can

(01:53:44):
book with me.
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(01:54:05):
go through the things thatyou're going through in your
life and keep your mind focusedon miracles.
So hooray everyone.
Thank you for joining.
I love you so much.
Mahalo aloha and a hui hou.

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A Course in Miracles Deep Dive - Chapter 2, Section XI, Paragraph 6, Sentence 2 through Paragraph 8, Sentence 5: Birth Trauma or Separation Trauma

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}A Course in Miracles Deep Dive - Chapter 2, Section XI, Paragraph 6, Sentence 2 through Paragraph 8, Sentence 5: Birth Trauma or Separation Trauma