Beyond the Body: Finding True Ecstasy Within | Wisdom Dialogues @ Ajijic Mexico | July 28, 2025 - Hope Johnson's Wisdom Dialogues

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Yeah, aloha, and welcome to Wisdom Dialogues with
Hope Johnson coming to you livefrom Ajijic, mexico.
Yay, it's a beautiful day.

(00:31):
It's always a beautiful day.
It's always a beautiful daywhen you know who's walking with
you.
You know we're never alone.
The Spirit is always with us.
The Holy Spirit is alwayswalking in the dream, with us
and ready to reinterpreteverything we made.
That's the beauty of it.

(00:52):
You know, the world we made andthe life we made is terrifying.
It's like everything andeveryone is passing, it's all
passing away.
Nothing here is set in eternity, it's all set on a timeline.

(01:14):
So it's terrifying and you know, without the holy spirit it's a
nightmare, with the Holy Spiritreinterpreting everything for
you, bringing everything to thetruth, everything is
reinterpreted into eternity.
So any kind of pain, any kindof sense of loss, any sense of

(01:38):
trouble or question, a problemsomething you need tech support
for, for instance, with the HolySpirit's guidance, it's all
brought to the truth and it'sall reinterpreted as something
that brings sanity to your mind.
You know, the dream we made isjust insane, even all of the

(02:10):
relationships look at everyrelationship is only for seeing
that there is no relationshipexcept the relationship with God
.
So all these bodies and allthese relationships.
There's this hope that it'llgive you something that you want
, and it's set up exactly to notgive you what you want.
It's fucking great, they're alllike that.
So extending love has to dowith seeing that what you made

(02:35):
of everyone is only an illusion.
Whatever you made is just anillusion.
No one's showing up to give youwhat you want.
That's an illusory dream.
You know, while you think thatpeople can satisfy you in that
way, you're in suffering.
It's like hope and doubt.

(02:56):
Hope and doubt it's the wrongkind of hope, right?
It's the wrong use of hope tobe hoping that your
relationships are going to workout Someday.
Someone's going to give yousomething that you want.
The reason they're set up tonot give you what you want is
because this is an illusion.
Everything's passing away andit's so that you can see that

(03:20):
you cast it outside of yourself.
You cast this whole worldoutside of yourself.
It's not meant to be pleasantfor you.
It's never going to be pleasantfor you until you see what it's
for.
When you see what it's for,it's totally pleasant.
When you recognize what it'sfor, it's totally pleasant.
Then you don't go deep into theego with people.

(03:42):
Right, going deep with peopleis just like going deep into the
ego.
Uh, you know, the therelationships in the happy dream
the relationships are are verysurface in a way, in that
there's no going into this, uh,this sense of neediness, this

(04:04):
sense of attachment to, tobodies, right, there's no going
into, uh, wishing that theywould do something different or
come around a certain way, oranything like that.
That's how the time is gettingcollapsed.
That's how it's actuallygetting collapsed.
There's only one of us.
There's only one of us.

(04:26):
So, look, when you get attachedto a person, it's like
rejecting everyone else andthat's basically rejecting
yourself.
That's basically putting yourmind on notice that you're
rejected now and it sets you upfor trouble.
That's why every singlerelationship, it ends up being

(04:47):
troubling for you unless you seeit, truly and truly don't mind
what anyone does or how theyshow up.
This is something that reallycame to my awareness last week
when we were doing the acim deepdive and discovering the

(05:08):
difference between circularmiracles and the kind that
actually collapsed time.
And you know, I've been, I'vebeen having my eye on a couple
relationships with two men to,of course, amazing, awesome men.
I mean, everyone is like that.

(05:29):
Everyone's really me indisguise, but there is a sense
that neither of them gave mewhat I want, neither of them was
giving me what I want, and indifferent ways, in different
ways.
They were not providing indifferent ways, in different
ways they were not providing indifferent ways.
So it came clear to me,actually just this weekend, that

(05:56):
it was this inner masculineenergy.
You know, basically there's acouple of energies going on
within ourselves.
Basically, there's a couple ofenergies going on within
ourselves.
This whole false universe, thiswhole illusion, is based on
sacred geometry, basicallytriangles.
It's basically, it's based ontriangles.

(06:17):
Maybe you've seen some sacredgeometry drawings before.
So there's a X axis masculine,y axis feminine, and they form a
certain triangle.
Right, the.
The masculine is projection,it's a, it's the container.
Uh, the feminine is likeimplosion, receptivity.

(06:41):
So what I noticed was mymasculine aspect has been
hypervigilant ever since I was achild.
It's been it's, it's just been,uh, I guess under, let's say,
under pressure to perform, nottrusting that everything is

(07:02):
leading exactly where I want itto go, that everything is
leading exactly where I want itto go.
Right, Everything here isleading to perfection.
It's leading to perfect love.
It's just that the perfect loveisn't here, it's not on the
timeline, no one's going to giveit to you, right?
So this sense of trying to holdit all together, the inner

(07:26):
masculine, the X axis, trying tohold everything together, it's
always projecting.
It's always projecting thesemen in my life that are just not
quite it, not quite that Sarahraises her hand, she's like me

(07:48):
too.
Who else is getting that?
And that's because there's asense like I have to do it all

(08:09):
alone.
And you know, I've seen that sooften.
I've basically everyonedefinitely see it in my mom.
It's like there's this, uh,this hyper vigilance, like on
alert to make sure it doesn'tfall apart.
The first time I noticed that Iwas, I was working in a law firm
and I was standing in line atthe at the clerk's office in the

(08:31):
court, in the courthouse, andall of a sudden there is this
sense like major anxiety.
And then I noticed my mind gowhat, what's wrong?
What do I need to?
What do I need to guard rightnow?
What do I need to protect rightnow?
What's about ready to collapsethat I need to take care of?
And it was like whoa, and Iexpressed something like that to

(08:55):
my boss how, how, at work.
I just felt on edge, like therewas always something about
ready to go wrong, like I had tobe on it and my boss loved it.
He thought that was great, hethought I was the best employee
because of that, like it wastotally encouraged.

(09:15):
He's like that's why you're sogood at it, that's why you're
not sleeping at the wheel.
I'm like, oh, this is how I'msupposed to be, that's why I
make the big bucks.
Okay, so, noticing in, noticingthat it's coming from me, that's
how I was able to finally workthe miracle, the kind of miracle

(09:39):
that collapses time, ratherthan just getting a little bit
of relief.
You know, it's the.
It's normal Uh, it's naturalfor us to use the miracle to get
relief.
There's nothing wrong with it,you know, just noticing oh, okay
, this is not really, this isnot a reality.
I can have relief now, ah, andkeep on getting relief.

(10:00):
But it was when I saw that it'smy own masculine projection
that's anxious, that's evenmaking it as if these men need
anything from me.
You know, they both seem toseem to need something from me,
right, and when I recognize theydon't need anything from me, I

(10:22):
don't have to show up.
I don't have to show up forthem all of a sudden.
And then it's not like you know, and it may sound like oh,
don't you want to show up forpeople?
Yes, in a way that's whole, notin a way that's seeking See.
So, as long as it seems likethere's some kind of threat,

(10:43):
that's the whole thing about.
You know, the whole foundationof A Course in Miracles is
there's no threat, is real,nothing real can be threatened
and nothing unreal exists.
That's the peace of God, right?
So it was my idea that somehowthese guys were threatened in

(11:03):
some way.
One of them threatened in someway.
One of them threatened in someway.
It seemed like he needed me forhis sense of peace, sense of
calm.
And then it occurred to me Idon't need to show up for that,
that's not necessary, there's nothreat here.
You know, I kept on showing upfor this guy in a loop.

(11:25):
It would be like this, thissense of hope that he's finally
going to see.
He's finally going to see thatwe're meant to be together and
he's going to stop loopingaround and he needs me again.
And then when I realized, oh,my goodness, he doesn't need me,
it was like no, no, no need, noneed for him to have any access

(11:51):
to me.
I'm not.
I'm not getting the sense likeI'm.
I'm inspired to do that Once Irecognize there's no threat.
And the other one it's like Iwas holding his life together
with the finances and all thisother stuff, and it's like once
I realized there's no threat,it's like I don't need to do
that either and then we can justmeet as two whole beings.

(12:17):
If we do meet at all, it's notnecessary.
I'm getting the sense that it'snot really necessary to go deep
in this way.
This kind of depth, this kindof ego depth where you get
entangled with one another.
Let's keep all of therelationships light, comical, on

(12:38):
the surface.
That's that's to me.
That to me is, uh, more likethe happy dream.
It's not necessary that it goesforward at all.
It's not necessary to get, uh,sexually entangled.

(13:02):
That's not a necessary thing.
You know, I've been, I've beenwriting about recently, man, I
am not even sexually attractedto guys that aren't provider,
providers like, want to provide.
You know, I'm not sexuallyattracted to them.
And then what I realized afterthat is I don't need that at all

(13:24):
, that is not even necessary.
That's one aspect of going deepthat I don't need, it's not
necessary at all.
What was shown to me?
You know and I've had my eye onthis for a while, I've talked
about it for a while that youknow this idea that sex is even
pleasurable, that is somethingthat we've programmed ourselves

(13:46):
with, this idea that it'spleasurable.
Bodies don't really join, theydon't even meet, they don't
actually touch actually.
So we're making up the ideathat we're even having any
sexual pleasure at all.
We're just making that up.
Nothing's happening here.

(14:07):
So so then?
So then we make it meaningful,as if now it means this or this
or this or this, and then it'spain.
It occurred to me the other day.
I was just like walking downthe street and all of a sudden
the sexual fantasy comes into mymind, right, and then the next

(14:28):
thing, you know, there's a tearin my eye.
I'm like, oh, okay, it's theego's way and making it, making
it like this, uh, thispleasurable thing is desirable.
But when you recognize, I'veprojected it.
And then I was in a meditationlater on I was practicing yoga,

(14:53):
nidra, and the whole body scanpart ended and I was just laying
there and I noticed a pulsewithin right and I recognize
that the sexual fantasy and eventhe uh, the sexual act of sex
itself is actually uh, it's likea substitute for that inner

(15:17):
pulse.
That inner pulsing is theconstant ecstasy.
So this world is a substitutefor reality, really, and so when
you look deeper, that which ispulsing within is truly the
ecstasy that we want, but we'reprojecting it outward and making

(15:41):
a substitute as something elsein the field.
It's amazing how all of thisstuff just leads back to what's
actually true.
Now, when the inner masculineand feminine are met perfectly
and it makes a perfect triangle.
Basically, this is an illusionbased on geometry.

(16:02):
It's triangles, it's a bunch oftriangles.
I think some people see thatwhen they go on ayahuasca or
something like that.
Where it's?
You look behind it and it'slike, oh, my goodness, it's a
bunch of shapes.
When the inner masculine andfeminine are meeting, masculine
and feminine are meeting, that'swhere you have that ecstasy.

(16:23):
That's what I noticed.
So, as I realized that my innermasculine was hypervigilant and
then it was allowed to relax,it was just allowed to relax.
When it's relaxing, it'sholding a perfect container for
the feminine and that's wherethe inner lovemaking occurs.

(16:46):
That's what that ecstasy is.
So when I noticed oh, I've justbeen projecting that outward
and as a substitute.
And to project it outward as asubstitute, in the first place
it took a collapse of thistriangle.
It had to be.
It had to be different, it hadto be, it had to be.
I don't know which way to say it, because I've never been good

(17:09):
at geometry before, but I'mseeing it.
It's like a misshapen or oneway to say.
It is incoherent.
So it's a projection ofincoherence, actually, no matter
how beautiful it looks, nomatter how sacred it seems.

(17:29):
Whatever the case and you know,some of my friends tell me,
some of my friends tell meyou've been against sex.
And I'm like, no, I'm notagainst sex.
Like I said, opening this thingup, like I said, opening this
thing up, opening up this wisdomdialogue session, the Holy
Spirit uses everything as ameans to awakening.

(17:51):
So that is not the same asbeing against sex.
That's just putting sex intothe proper category.
You might say, seeing it in aproper way, seeing it in a true
way.
It's not making it wrong, it'snot saying don't do it by all

(18:12):
means.
Do it as much as you do it,bring it to the truth, don't
hide it.
Watch what's going on, watchhow it keeps on leading to pain.
Some of you guys don't believeme.
You say it doesn't lead to pain.
I'm having great sex, I'mhaving a great time and I'm
saying just wait, you know howthey say it's not over till the

(18:36):
fat lady sings.
You know you could go happilyalong this road for years and
years and years.
And you know you could gohappily along this road for
years and years and years.
And you know, some of you,that's what you want to do.
That's okay, there's nothingwrong with it.
Have fun with it.
That's what I'm saying.
Have fun with it while it'spresenting itself.

(18:58):
What I'm saying is the wholepurpose of everything that you
seem to do in this illusion isactually for undoing the
illusion.
So at a point in time it'sgoing to come to your awareness
that none of it means anything,that none of it's actually doing
anything.
You know, I've had some funnyperceptions because I've had,

(19:20):
you know, this past week.
I'm like man, I'm getting thesense like I am not even.
I'm not even interested inanyone, you know, being
romantically involved or havingsex.
I'm not feeling attracted toanyone unless they're providing
and I haven't actually seenanyone actually providing either

(19:41):
.
It's just like an imaginarything, Like, if they show up
providing, then I'm going to beattracted to them.
And then I realized, oh, it'smy inner masculine that's not
providing.
That's why I feel unfulfilledin the first place.
And when the when the innermasculine is providing, when

(20:01):
it's not hyper vigilant, it'snaturally providing.
You could say he's naturallyproviding this, the only he
there is yeah, okay, so Sarah'ssaying, Sarah's telling me, but
you provide a lot for yourself.
That's what she's seen on theexternal, that I do a really
good job being really goodmasculine provider.

(20:23):
So it's the hypervigilancethat's making it as if this
masculine has to do everything.
Okay, so.
So this masculine within myselfis feeling taxed, it's feeling
pressured.
Okay, so it's, it's all it's.
It's like it's feelingvictimized.
So that's why the projection inthe field is masculine, who

(20:48):
can't contain, they can't holdthe container, they can't hold a
container for the feminineimage, this image, right, it's
all images.
When you recognize it's alljust one and it's all images,
then don't need an outermasculine at all.
There's not, it's not necessaryand that's the thing you know.

(21:11):
Like it, like like it.
It strikes me like, uh, like inin religions, in a lot of
religions, like the, the peopleat the top of the religions,
whatever, whatever you call them, I don't fucking know.
They're celibate, right, butit's not.

(21:32):
But it's, it's symbolic.
It's like they're making thembe celibate when they're not
ready Most of the time.
That's why they keep onmolesting little boys.
A lot of the time they're notready for that.
But the thing is, the reasonthat the celibacy comes about,
you know, just naturally, isrecognizing that there's nothing
to get out of it.
There's actually nothing to getout of, uh, sexual interaction.

(21:52):
There's no such thing as sexualunion.
It's an outer projection of theinner masculine and feminine
that's not being met.
So it's a substitute, it'sbeing projected as a substitute.
Again, I'm not sayingsomething's wrong.
So when I was going through theprocess, this process of

(22:15):
unfolding, you know my mind justkeeps on going into different
scenarios, just so I can seemore.
And that's the same for allminds.
We're only just going intothese scenarios so we could see
that we actually don't want thisworld anymore.
When we're when we're sure,when we're totally sure that we
don't want this world anymore,the veil is going to be lifted,

(22:36):
right.
So it occurred to me that noway I'm not even interested in a
relationship where themasculine isn't providing.
So I was voicing that.
So I get a couple peoplethinking I'm basically a
prostitute now, like I've gonefrom someone who was against sex

(22:59):
, you know, because before I gotthe sense, like, yeah, it's not
really that important to me, Idon't really feel like I need it
, anything like that.
And then all of a suddensomething else shows up and it's
like whoo, now, oh yeah, whoo,this is fun.
And you know what the thing is.
I needed to go around in it, Ineeded to practice it, I needed
to go around in it so I couldsee, that's all.

(23:22):
But a couple of my friendsreflected back to me.
You know, now I'm basically aprostitute.
One of my friends asked me howmuch it's going to take.
He was ready to pay Right, anduh, and I told him that isn't
happening.
He's like, he's like well, youknow what are you saying?
That there's something wrongwith it.
And I'm like no, I'm not sayinganything's wrong with it, I'm

(23:44):
just not called to it.
I'm not called to, uh, do itwith you.
No amount of money is gonnamake me want to.
And you know, if I needed to goaround like that, I would have,
and I wouldn't have had ajudgment about it Because, like
I said earlier, the Holy Spirituses all of our dreams to bring

(24:10):
us to the truth.
And look, this might not be verypopular to you guys, I might
not have a huge audience aboutthis, it's okay, I don't mind,
because my goal is not to have ahuge audience.
My goal is actually to liftthis veil.
My goal is actually to bereleased from dreaming once and

(24:31):
for all.
Now, if I have to go around inmore sexual relationships,
that's fine too.
I'm not saying I'm against it.
I'm saying I'm seeing that it'sa substitute, I'm recognizing
that it's a substitute.
I'm recognizing that it's asubstitute.
So, in the event that I do Imean before I thought that I'm

(24:51):
definitely going to do it againin this lifetime I'm definitely
going to meet someone I'mdefinitely going to do it again
in this lifetime.
Now I'm not so sure.
Now I'm not so sure because,because it comes down to is it

(25:13):
necessary?
Do I need it?
Do I need to go around more?
Right, and I'm telling you guys, that feels like freedom to me,
just recognizing that I don'tneed that.
Uh, you know, this is the firsttime in about 31 years maybe,
maybe a little bit longer thanthat, that I've been without a

(25:34):
sexual partner.
That's a long time in theillusion of time, right?
This is the first time.
And you know, at first it waskind of like, ooh, this is
interesting, I wonder what'sgoing to pop up.
Well, it's guy after guy afterguy after guy, just like coming
through.
You know, my husband's watchingme, um, posting about all these

(25:56):
different interactions I'mhaving with different guys, and
he's like wow, it's like you'vehad like seven different
different.
I'm like it's been a lot morethan that.
Like it's just, you know, evenevery time I get in, almost
every time I get in an Uber, forone thing, uh, you know, and
and sometimes they don't evenspeak English at all, we're on
the, we're on the translator appand they're telling me they

(26:18):
want to spank my ass and they'regiving me, they're giving me
signals, give me signals.
You know, I just take it likeit's fun for me, I enjoy it.
I just start laughing, you know, I just really, I just start
laughing.
The other day, I got my ass.

(26:38):
I got my ass burned, basically,I got this hot laser treatment
to my ass and I got in an Uberand I could barely sit there.
My ass is, my ass was basicallybleeding Okay, the cheeks, not
the inside and I'm barelysitting there in the Uber seat

(27:01):
and the guy tells me on thetranslator app he's saying
something in Spanish.
So I get the translator app outand he tells me basically he
wants to spank my ass.
And he's making the sign likehe wants to spank my ass and and
so I tell him on the, on thetranslator app, you're going to
have to wait a couple of weeks.
And you know, I'm laughing thewhole time.

(27:26):
I just, I just like the, I just,I just like the play.
I think it's pretty funny.
And then he asked me if I'mafraid of him and I'm like no,
I'm not afraid of you.
You know, this is all thetranslator app, we don't speak
the same language, apparently.
And I'm like no, I'm not afraidof you, I see your innocence, I
see, I see your gentleness.
I'm like no, I'm not afraid ofyou, I see your innocence, I see
, I see your gentleness, I'm notafraid of you at all.

(27:46):
You know, I'm just, I'm justsmiling and laughing at him.
He's kind of like okay, good,you know, uh, there's nothing,
uh, there's nothing dangerous.
That's what I see.
Like there's no threat to me,the no threat is real at all.
I can just play with anything.
No threat is real at all.
I could just play with anythingand in the event that that's

(28:07):
necessary, that me having anykind of sexual interactions is
necessary, it's fine.
It's also fine if that neveroccurs again.
It really is.
It's only because it wouldoccur, only because it's a means
to awakening.
And I got my eye on it.
Now I could tell it's projectedout in the field as a

(28:29):
substitute, because I canexperience, um, the real thing,
the real union of the masculineand feminine.
That's in my mind, you know,and really perceive it as a
visceral sense.
That's way more satisfying thanthe illusory thing and it

(28:53):
doesn't need any kind ofstimulation at all.
This is something I glimpsed wayback when I was maybe only 21
years old.
It was shown to me that I don'tneed a partner.
It's funny that it's shown tome that I don't need a partner
and then, shortly after that,I've got a partner.
That's pretty much like alifetime partner, like that just

(29:17):
shows up and it was weird,because there was a lot of what
I was sensing within seemed tobe occurring without in this
partner.
He seemed to be that energy.
He seemed to be mirroring thatkind of energy and that was why
I was just kind of like oh okay,let's see where this goes.

(29:38):
And where it went was to a lotof lessons, and that's really
what all the relationships arefor.
And where it went was to a lotof lessons, and that's really
what all the relationships arefor To go to bring you to
lessons.
They're not to give you, let'ssay, they're not to be the happy
dream for you.
The relationships that you getinto.

(30:05):
They're not to be the happydream, they're the means to
knowing it, they're the means torevealing it.
So the happy dream involves notthese deep relationships where
we have entanglements with oneanother, where we have
expectations of one another.

(30:26):
That's always leading to painand you know, it seems like when
we get entangled, especiallythrough sexual interaction, we
seem to automatically developthose expectations, develop

(30:48):
those expectations.
It seems to be like this, thiskind of this kind of vibe, where
it's like it hits you.
It's somewhere, somewherementally, where all of a sudden
now the relationship has changed.
And you know, I've seen that somany times.
It's like when that doesn't getinvolved, then the relationship
can be a lot cleaner.

(31:09):
Not always there's plenty offriendships that are delusional
too, and that's where the peopleend up using each other to puff
up their ego, to satisfy theirego.
It's like, oh, I'm going deep,don't go there.
No need to do that.
Unless you do, then you bringthe Holy Spirit with you, that's

(31:31):
all.
And you know you might ask canyou just have casual sex then?
Can you just casually have sexwith people and then just not

(31:53):
get attached like that?
Well, I don't know, try it andsee how it is.
This is what I noticed frompeople who have casual sex.
They tell me that they thinkabout sex all the time.
Now, that seems like it's benign, but it's not.
It's actually something thatkeeps on projecting time,

(32:16):
projecting bodies, projectingdeath.
When your mind goes into sexualfantasy, it's going into
harming itself.
It seems like it's not aproblem.
You know, it seems like it'stotally, it's totally benign.
But what's going on is you'reprojecting a use for bodies that

(32:38):
they're not meant to be usedfor.
They're meant to be used for.
They're meant to be used forawakening your mind, not for
pleasuring yourself.
It's kind of like.
It's kind of like a form ofmasturbation, and that's not
saying it's wrong.
Again, what happens for me andwhat occurred this weekend, when
I had a sense of a sexualfantasy.

(32:59):
Oh my goodness, it justprojects so strongly.
It's like, oh, it feels good.
And then I asked the HolySpirit to be with me on this.
Be with me, show me how to usethis, show me how you would use
it instead of just letting itrun wild in my mind right.

(33:22):
And a few minutes later, whatwas shown to me was the sorrow,
how, on the other side of it,it's sorrow.
And so I took that and I gowhoa, do I want that ever again?
Do I even want that ever again?

(33:46):
Do I even want that ever again?
And it made it look like well,what is this whole thing for If
it's not leading to that, ifit's not giving us that?
And I'm seeing the underpinningof the ego is to project like I
want this, I want this, give methis.
This is what it is, this iswhat will make me feel complete.

(34:09):
That's the underpinning.
That's what's going onunderneath all of this.
It's to try to get this thing,and I've seen that since I was a
child, just a little kid.
I could see that it's likethere's this underlying trying
to get and it comes down to thatand I would.

(34:32):
I would, I would say I wouldsay things about it.
You know, I would say what noone was saying, what I could see
, but no one was saying Likeit's like.
It's like we're all.
We're all just here to usebodies.
We're all just here, underneathall of these smiley, shiny,

(34:59):
innocent looking faces, to tryto use bodies to get what we
want.
It's funny.
I just lost a lot of people whoare listening on here right now.

(35:19):
I love it.
Lost a lot of people who arelistening on here right now.
I love it.
I love it.
When that happens that'shappened at different points.
Wherever I have a realization,that's really like showing that
this dream, what this dream is Ilose people, they disappear.
That's good.
I'm happy about that.
Once again, I'm not here forpopularity at all.

(35:39):
I've seen this happen atdifferent points in my wisdom
dialogues career.
I've seen it happen in personbefore, where it's been like 25
people in person the next week,only five show up.
I go, these are the five thatare cruising with me and it's
the same thing right here, rightnow.
Here right now, several of themjust dropped off.

(36:09):
That's perfect.
They're not ready to hear this.
Most of the world isn't readyto have the veil lifted like
this.
Most of the world isn't readyto see how malicious the ego is
in using bodies.
And you know, this is this iswhy it keeps on looping around.

(36:33):
This is why it keeps on loopingaround, because people don't
want to see this.
They want there to be somethingto get in the world.
They want there to be somethinghere, something that's
satisfying.
You know, I have friends,definitely.
You know, kicking back on mewhen I say something like.

(36:56):
You know, sex is leading to pain.
People will go.
I don't think it's leading topain.
I think it's actually lettingus touch on the divine.
You know, people have fantasiesof Jesus having sex with Mary
Magdalene.
That's a thing.
Sarah's laughing, that's athing.

(37:20):
Though you know, some kind ofdivine sex, right, it's a
fantasy.
That's a fantasy.
That's what I'm saying.
And people think that they'redoing it.
They think they're having somekind of divine sex.
Well, what Jesus says in ACourse in Miracles is that the
sexual impulse is actually amisguided miracle impulse.

(37:42):
It's a misguided miracleimpulse.
It's an attempt to join bodieswhich cannot join.
This is where I lose people, Iknow, and it's good.
What I'm saying is.
It's good.
You know I'm not in it for this.
I'm not.
And it's good that what I'msaying is it's good.
You know, I'm not in it forthis.
I'm not in it for what peoplethink.

(38:04):
It's not.
It's not.
Uh, hope Johnson is trying toget popular or something like
that.
Right, maybe she is, but that'snot me.
I mean, if I, if you gave me achoice right now and said you
know, you can get popular if yousay the right things and tell

(38:27):
people that having sex is sacred, let's say, saying that they
could touch the divine throughhaving sex, as if more than
another illusion.
Right, all illusions are thesame, they're all the same.

(38:48):
There's really and I've saidthis before there's really no
difference between having sexand, let's say, eating a
sandwich.
Really, right, it's an illusion, it's just an illusion.
It's actually the meaning thatwe put onto it that makes it
seem like it's something else,the taste that we get from
eating a sandwich.
You might eat a sandwich and gomm, this is a good fucking

(39:10):
sandwich, right?
You projected the taste, youprojected everything onto it.
Same thing with sex.
It's the same thing.
Only thing is with sex, thedifference is you're using a
body, it's like and a body is asymbol for the son of God.

(39:32):
Basically, you're usingyourself right.
You're using yourself in a waythat you get pleasure apparently
get pleasure from it, but youcannot get pleasure from it at
all and these bodies areprojected into the field.
You're projecting them into thefield.

(39:54):
They're actually the son of Godand you're projecting them as
an image that you don'trecognize and thinking you can
use it to get pleasure, even toget provision, to get anything.
So that's why it leads to pain,because it's a misuse.

(40:19):
Now, if you use, if you go intoit with the Holy Spirit, look,
you don't have a choice inwhether you have sex or not.
You really don't have a choicein it.
You only have a choice in howyou would see it If you would
find yourself in either afantasy in your mind without a
body or with a body, and bringit to the Holy Spirit and ask

(40:41):
the Holy Spirit to look on itwith you.
The reason you don't do thathere's the reason you don't do
that because you know it'll end.
Your desire for it will end.
You don't want it to end.
You want to keep on usingbodies like that.
That's why it's a scary thing.
You want to keep on usingbodies like that.
That's why it's a scary thing.
It's scary to not use bodies foryour pleasure, for your benefit

(41:04):
, like that, because it meansthe illusion is being undone.
It's hard.
I know Durga is saying I relatewith what you're saying.
My husband loves sex.
I am not opposed.
So I asked spirit, okay, Iimagine the penis as an
umbilical cord reconnecting tomy horror.

(41:25):
I enjoy, but don't have toInteresting.
Yeah, it's just.
It's just a matter of seeing itdifferently.
It doesn't mean you have tostop doing it, you can't.
You don't really have a choicein it.
It's actually just you're goingto see it differently.

(41:46):
You're going to see it assomething that's used in service
to spirit.
And when you see it assomething that's used in service
to spirit, then it becomes adifferent thing.
And again, what makes youafraid of looking at it like

(42:06):
that is knowing that it's goingto go away.
It's going to becomeuninteresting to use bodies like
that.
It's like when you attain acertain level of purification,

(42:26):
let's say you're not going to beinterested in that.
You know, when I tune in and askJesus about that Jesus, were
you having sex with MaryMagdalene?
The answer is.
Why would I need to?
Why would I need to?
I'm already in ecstasy.

(42:49):
Why would I need a substitutefor the eternal?
Why would I need to project asubstitute?
See, that's an effect of notknowing what the world is for.
People are going to do it aslong as they don't know what the
world is for.
It's an effect of that.
It's like this Everyone whodoesn't know what the world is

(43:21):
for is a fucking perv.
That's just how it is Undoingthe world.
That's all you could say.
It's the means for eliminatingitself, right?
It's the only thing it's foritself, right, it's the only

(43:47):
thing it's for.
So to project a substitute.
You know even everything.
Nothing here needs to be wasted.
It's like if you find yourselfprojecting any substitute sex
being one of them, use it.
Let the Holy Spirit in into thefantasy, into the act.
Let the Holy Spirit in into thefantasy, into the act.
Let the Holy Spirit into it.
There's no need to wasteanything.

(44:10):
There's no need to waste, let'ssay, eating a meal.
There's no need to wasteanything.
It's projected.
All enjoyment of everythingcomes from using it for the Holy
Spirit's purposes.
There's a difference betweenpleasure and true enjoyment.
Pleasure always leads to pain.

(44:33):
You can look at it like thisEating food for personal
pleasure always leads tosomething like indigestion,
feeling fat, disease.
Same thing with drinkingalcohol, same thing with

(44:57):
anything Using it for the HolySpirit's purposes.
It's totally clean, durga issaying.
She projects onto food.
She's seeing daily behaviorsdifferent.
Good, that's the point To seethese behaviors differently.
What are you using them for?
What are you trying to get outof it?

(45:17):
See, when we stop wasting anyof our actions, then there's no
pain, there's no suffering,there's no cause for anxiety,
nothing.
But it's using these things in away that's basically wasting
time.
There's wasting money, wasting,uh, wasting your energy,

(45:38):
wasting your energy, wastingbodies using them.
You know, we see on the worldstage.
What do we have?
Sex trafficking now, right Onthe world stage.
This is a reflection of themind.
The mind is basically beenturned, obsessed with sex and

(45:59):
food.
That's what I notice.
There's this obsession withthem, there's this training to
see things this way and when werecognize, oh my goodness, all
the pleasure just leads to pain,you start to use things

(46:20):
differently.
You start to use it for theHoly Spirit's purposes.
Now, if you're still with me andyou want to lean in this
direction, it's just a matter ofnoticing that you can bring the
Holy Spirit into whatever youseem to be doing.
It's a matter of noticingwhenever you use the body for

(46:44):
something other than awakeningthe mind, it's going to lead to
suffering.
You know, look for one thing,for one thing, look at this
Everyone who ever has sex, iftheir body doesn't pass away
beforehand, they end up impotent.

(47:06):
They can't do it.
Something happens Women end upnot being able to open up, the
men end up being not able tokeep it up, and then what
they're suffering over that.
But there's actually whatyou're looking for, that

(47:31):
pleasure.
It's actually a pulse withinyour own body's energy field.
And I've, you know someone.
Someone asked the master, don'tyou wish, don't you miss having
sex?
Like, how do you do it?
How do you do it without sex?
And he said I'm just constantlyin ecstasy, I don't need it, I

(47:52):
don't need to project that.
I mean, notice what it's.
You know you can kind of feelinto this.
Notice what it's like to notneed a substitute.
And I know this is the reasonwhy sexual fantasy even comes to

(48:13):
my mind.
So I can see that I don't needa substitute.
You know it's because the egois constantly talking to me.
It's like, oh, wouldn't that begreat.
Oh, if you could just do thatagain.
Oh, if you could do that again,it would be with someone who
was mature and they can handleyou and they would stay with you

(48:34):
, and all of that that onlycomes from within, that sense of
holding, that sense of staying.
That's where there's thatperfect geometry within, where
the masculine and feminine meetand they're making love.

(48:57):
It's the inner lovemaking.
It doesn't end, it's completelysustainable.
The projection, the substitute,it ends, even if it's long.
I thought it was great.
I was having sex for like threehours, five hours.
That's nothing.

(49:19):
That's still not sustainable.
It's the misuse of bodies, it'sfantasy.
So now I could use, still usebodies, but in the way the Holy

(49:44):
Spirit wants them to be used,and that's for truth, that's to
bring everything to the truth.
There's no fantasy on what thisbody can do for me.
This even occurs in friendships.
Look at how you use bodies.

(50:05):
What would they do for me?
What benefit is it to me tointeract, let's say interact
with this person?
We can't hear the holy spirit'svoice at all when it's an idea
that we can use bodies forsomething.
What we want to do is wake upfrom the dream, and it's a
mutual benefit.

(50:26):
What's that?
What do you think is the?
What really is a mutual benefit?
There's no benefit in the dream.
There's no benefit, uh, mutualor otherwise, there's just no
benefit in the dream.
There's a.
There's only the only benefitof bodies is for awakening from

(50:46):
the dream, see, so?
So Sarah's asking what ifthere's mutual benefit?
So what this looks like is two,uh, using each other's bodies
mutually, and you know that'swhat you're asking for too.
In a relationship like, let'ssay, a marriage, right, you want
to use each other's bodiesmutually, right?
And so then it looks like oh,it's coherent, we're each using

(51:10):
our, using each other's bodies.
But that always breaks down.
It always leads to pain becausethis using in the field.
You know, if you let the HolySpirit just use everything, you
know it might even look likeit's an uneven thing, and it's

(51:31):
still good, because you'reletting the Holy Spirit use
everything for awakening, right?
It doesn't have to be any kindof mutual benefit, it's just
automatically.
Holy Spirit, what should I do?
Who should I speak to?
Where should I go?
What should I say?
And then you're forgetting aboutany kind of benefit a body can
be for you in the field, so youdon't have to look at things

(51:54):
that way.
The universe is reciprocal, butit's not reciprocal in the way
the ego makes it out.
Where you're extending love,you're receiving love, it
doesn't necessarily mean it'scoming from a body that you seem
to have given some kind ofmaterial benefit to.
Material benefits may seem tocome and go and stuff like that,

(52:20):
but it's a matter of how areyou using it?
No one needs sex.
One friend asked me many yearsago.
He said sex is a need, isn't it?
And I go.
Well, if the need is, for, ifthe only need is awakening from
this dream, do you think youcouldn't do it?

(52:42):
If your dick was cut off, likeif you didn't have a dick, you
think you couldn't do it?
You think you need that to doit?
That person ended up becoming acelibate mom.
You know, it's like you justrecognize.
Oh, I don't need anything inthe field.

(53:06):
Okay, durga's commenting this isgreat, because I'm imagining my
spiritual practice infused inmy other daily habits.
I see how I kept my work withACIM separate.
It was meant to transform themundane daily stuff.
Yeah, yes, that's right, it'smeant to transform the mundane
daily stuff.
Yes, that's right.
It's meant to transformeverything, all of the things
that you seem to do.

(53:27):
The Holy Spirit is notcondemning any of your actions.
Let's get back to that.
The Holy Spirit is notcondemning sex.
That is not what I'm doing here.
I'm bringing it into the light.
I'm saying that if I need to doit, I'll find myself doing it.
If I need that, because it'sthe, because it's the means for

(53:53):
awakening my mind.
Look you guys, I went into realestate for a year, right, and
when I was on Wisdom Dialogues Iwas telling you guys, man, I do
not feel like I'm in alignmentwith this at all.
It seems like I'm only doing itbecause I seem to need money

(54:13):
and there's fear and that's whyI am even being a realtor at all
Because there's fear of nothaving enough money.
Right, I knew I was projectingit into the field.
For that reason, and because oflooking at it that way, it was
able to be used by the HolySpirit very quickly.
The whole career lasted oneyear and then it was back to

(54:39):
wisdom, dialogues with you guysand even deeper spiritual study
and spiritual practice.
That fear was cleared and itkeeps on going deeper.
That's what it's for.
That's what sex is for.
That's what everything is for.
Cora's saying sex from the HolySpirit is a reflection of the

(55:02):
desire for truth.
Sex from the Holy Spirit is areflection of the desire for
truth, complete connection,oneness.
Yes, it's a substitute for that.
It's a projected substitute.
There's total freedom here.
This is not saying not to havesex.
This is not saying not to havesex.

(55:24):
It's saying that once your mindis purified to a certain degree
, you're not going to want it,you're not going to need it,
you're not going to think youneed it.
You never need it.
Well, let's say, if you'redoing it, you need it, because
whatever perception you'regetting, you need that
perception.
That takes all guilt away fromit.

(55:45):
Durga says I feel freedom, notcondemnation.
Thanks for the nudge.
Yeah, this is definitely meantto free your mind, not to
condemn anything at all, and Iknow how it is.
People feel condemned when Italk like this about sex,
because people love theirillusion that somehow having sex

(56:07):
is letting them touch thedivine through the act itself.
To that it's just going tocircle.
It's going to circle aroundlike that.
The only way that it actuallyleads to the truth is where you
have the Holy Spirit.
Reinterpret it for you.
Remember that it's a substitute.

(56:30):
It's only projected as asubstitute.
This is not what bodies aremeant to be used for.
They're meant to be used forjoining your, your minds.
This has nothing to do withjoining your body.
It has nothing to do withtouching, petting even light
touching.
One of my friends is into lighttouching.
Um, I told him he set it up, itwas a strategy.

(56:54):
He set it up to get people totouch him because they, he
thinks they don't touch himenough.
Right, it's just a strategy.
Because they, he thinks theydon't touch him enough.
Right, it's just a strategy.
Um, and you know, and you knowthere's a, there's a subtle, was
a subtle condemnation of sex inin putting this light touch as
if it's better than sex, if it'sbetter for us.
No, it's all the same.

(57:15):
There's no touching.
No one ever touches each other.
There's no touching.
No one ever touches each other.
Even in the physical realm, inscience, when they talk about
the space, the space that thesebodies are, if you reduce it
down, it's really just likesomething.
You can't even see the amountof matter that makes up a body.

(57:38):
If you reduce it down, take outall the space, the matter is
reduced down to something youcan't even see with the naked
eye.
Okay, and when they seem totouch, they don't really touch.
There's actually space betweenthem.
That's in the manifestationitself.
They don't even touch.

(58:01):
So we think we want this touch,we think we're missing this
touch.
We're not really.
This is what keeps us hankeringfor something in the field.
That's not what's going on.
This sense of missing something.
It's missing our own spirit,it's missing our oneness with
God.
It's what causes us to look inthe field, look for people.

(58:27):
And you know I've beenprojecting this all over the
place just so that I could havethis experience.
You know, with people I walkdown the street.
You know I get like cat callsfrom people, getting people
making advances at me and stufflike that, and I was sharing

(58:47):
that with a friend of mine anduh, and he goes I bet you just
get that all the time and I go.
Well, yeah, I'm projecting it.
That's why, cause I havesomething to learn from it.
There's something there's,there's something that I need to
see from it.
That's why it doesn't haveanything to do with anything
like the way I look or the way Iwalk or anything physical.

(59:11):
It's not anything like that.
I'm only getting it.
It's only coming up becausethere's something I need to see
about it.
Right, there's this subtlesense.
There's been this subtle senseof missing sex, so it needs to
roll around like that so that Icould see it.

(59:33):
Cora says sex is meaningless,just like everything else.
That's here.
What I meant is that it speaksto the desire for oneness.
Yes, that's right, it does.
So what it's saying whenever itseems like I want touch and
this is what's going on, I meanthis is a great topic, because

(59:53):
this is what's going on withpeople.
This is what's going on forthem.
If they don't have it, theywant it.
If they have it, they don'twant to lose it.
It seems like it's reallyimportant.
It seems like it's what makeslife worth living.
There's people going aroundacting all depressed because

(01:00:14):
they don't have it.
They don't have someone totouch them.
They don't have someone tocuddle with.
Right, there's cuddle partiesso people could cuddle with each
other.
You know, I've offered tocuddle with people before
because they seem so sad thatthey don't have cuddles.
I was like let's cuddle it up,right.

(01:00:34):
And a friend told me the otherday she goes, she goes.
Your energy just seems so clean, she goes, she goes.
Your energy just seems so cleanand I go yeah, well, that's
because I don't want anythingfrom you, right, I'm aware that
I don't want anything from you,so that's why it's like I can
give people a kiss, I could givepeople a hug, and it's not like

(01:00:55):
I'm trying to get get, unless Iam and I have been in that
situation where I thought Iwanted it from a brother and it
was like, zoom, come here, giveit to me.
And you know, because I havethe Holy Spirit looking on it

(01:01:20):
with me, it can't last.
That's another thing I'm reallygrateful for.
It can't last.
You know, it's like the ego'sgoing oh, can I just, can we
just do this for a little bit?
It feels so good.
Can we just have this for alittle while?
But the thing is, I've got myeye on awakening from the world

(01:01:43):
so much that it can't do that.
It can't keep going like that.
It only leads to sickness.
You know, all these things, allthese manifestations of
sickness, loss the sense ofusing.

(01:02:04):
You know, I get the sense thatI want this.
I want, I want this sexual.
Well, first, there's a sex thatseems like it's really sacred
sex.
Oh, it's really deep and lovingand oh my gosh, it's so
wonderful.
I just want to keep this.
Can we just keep doing thislonger?
Can we keep going with thislonger?

(01:02:26):
So then the perception I get isthe guy is a fucking, complete,
immature dickhead.
You know, he goes from oneextreme to the other.
Why am I manifesting it likethis?
Because I want to wake up.
I want to wake up from dreaming.

(01:02:46):
Does the happy dream include sex?
You know what Doesn't look likeit that's what's coming to me
Does not look like it actually,like it actually.
It looks like it's just a clean, uh, uh brotherhood where we

(01:03:08):
don't use each other's bodiesfor pleasure at all.
We just don't use each other'sbodies for pleasure.
And you know, I know that'sgoing to spark a lot of
disagreement.
I understand A lot of peopleare probably going to stop
listening to me right now.

(01:03:29):
Friends that were friends areprobably going to stop talking
to me right now, and that's onlybecause the mind is dinged.
The mind is dinged with thisidea that we need sex.

(01:03:52):
What if we're all just friends,like kids that don't know about
using each other's genitalslike this?
You know, I've got a waydifferent experience than most
people.
I was raised very sexual.
The first time I hadintercourse with a little boy I
was about six years old.
I was taught in the Christianmissionary group that I was

(01:04:17):
raised in.
Okay, the leader of theChristian missionary group, he
thought, where it said God islove, he thought that meant
you're supposed to have sex witheveryone.
You know, that was just.
He was just allowing that.
Basically that perv aspect thatI've always seen since I was a
kid.

(01:04:37):
I've always seen that sinceI've been trained to see it.
Really he just allowed that torule the whole Christian cult
that he was leading.
You know, he could have heactually had a lot of really
awesome teachings but this sexthing became the main focus

(01:05:00):
because he was a horny, freakingdude in the, in the perception,
and he allowed that to run him.
That's what's going on, that'swhat's you know, it's like the
whole, uh, the whole world,let's say the government, the
media, all of that.
It's being allowed to runeverything.
This horny sex drive.
All of that.
It's being allowed to runeverything, this horny sex drive

(01:05:22):
.
Where am I going to get thenext fix?
How can I use the next body?
I mean, good, good Lord.
I mean, look, we've got sextrafficking now and it's very
prevalent.
Apparently, people aredisappearing.
I've been over to Guadalajara.
Uh, over here it's maybe like45 minutes from where I am, you
know, there's posters all overthe place of missing people, all

(01:05:43):
over the place.
It's like this many people aremissing.
What in the world is going on?
And then you hear these storiesof sex trafficking.
This is reflecting a mind thatis hyper-focused on sex.
So I've seen it in myselfincluded, since I've been young,

(01:06:04):
since I've been trained towardssex.
We had comics when I was a kidshowing us kids how to have sex
with each other.
My parents, my dad and mystepmom actually had sex with
each other while us kids watched.
And it's funny because peoplethat are still in that group
they hate it.
When I say something like that,they're like oh my God, don't

(01:06:26):
say anything like that, thisruins our group or whatever.
Well, you know, keeping thingshidden is what lets them
proliferate, like this, over andover again.
I mean this is actually likewhy I know what I know and I'm
glad.
I don't think any of it iswrong per se, because it shows

(01:06:47):
me things, it teaches the mind.
It's everything given to theHoly Spirit as a means for
awakening becomes a blessing.
So it's a blessing that I wasraised this way.
It's a blessing that I've seenthese things and I've been
practicing sex since I've beenabout six years old, in fact.
I was taught so much about sex Iwas able to seduce little boys

(01:07:10):
when I was a little girl.
Um, I, I would be like, hey,you guys hear about sex and, and
I loved it, I thought it wasgreat.
I, you know, I, I loved the wayit felt and you know, it was
really fun and I, I loved, Iloved, uh, hooking people up.
You know like, hey, have youguys heard about this?

(01:07:30):
Come on over here and try thisout over here.
I loved it.
Um, it was a fun experience forme.
So I see it in everyone.
I would see, I would recognizeit in everyone.
I would recognize that, oh yeah, like, the underlying thought

(01:07:52):
is where am I going to get?
When am I?
When is the next time I'm goingto get some?
When is the next time I'm goingto get some?
When is the next time I'm goingto score?
When is the next time I'm goingto be able to use a body for my
purposes?
That's the ego.
That's what the ego does.
So it was training my ego from avery young age to see it, to

(01:08:17):
see it this way, to see how touse bodies for my own pleasure.
And that's what I was doingfrom a very young age.
I didn't have that kind ofinnocent childhood.
And, you know, maybe, maybe youguys are saying, oh, I didn't
either.
But, um, you know, typically achildhood is more innocent where
, um, you, where you, you know,you make friends with people and

(01:08:43):
you don't, you're not usingyour body, each other's bodies,
for something like that, andthat's not saying that it's not
innocent.
I know some of my friends arelike, uh, oh, my gosh, I got so
shamed when I got caught with mypants down with my friend.
My parents shamed me.
They said how dare you do that?
And stuff like that.
That's the other extreme.

(01:09:03):
It's not like that.
You know, you may, early on,have seen oh, I could use this
friend of mine to get pleasurelike this.
It's still the ego, you'restill innocent.

(01:09:26):
No matter what the ego does, theego seeks to use bodies.
You know, I want to fuck is thesame thing as I want to die.
That's what I've seen and youknow the voice in my mind and
there's one mind, there's onemind.

(01:09:47):
So it's not like hope.
You're weird.
I don't believe that there'sone mind.
And this is what's going on.
It's trying to get something.
It's very and you know, it'svery much trying to use bodies.
It may come around in differentways, it may come around in

(01:10:08):
different ways in yourconsciousness, but what I'm
saying is underneath it.
It's this wanting to use bodiesfor the ego's purposes.
Durga has a question here whatplace does pleasure of any kind
have in a spirit striving towake up?

(01:10:31):
Well, see, let's look at thedistinction between enjoyment
and pleasure.
Look at the distinction betweenenjoyment and pleasure.
So the way I'm, you know, wordsreally have whatever meaning we
assign to them.
So I'm just using them here forpointing Okay, true enjoyment
is where you're using everythingin your perception for the Holy

(01:10:53):
Spirit's purposes.
Remember, the Holy Spirit'spurpose is awakening your mind
from the stream.
Using every perception, doesn'tmatter what it is.
Using every perception forawakening your mind from the
stream, that's true enjoyment.
That could also be with sex,true enjoyment.

(01:11:14):
You're using it for awakeningfrom the dream.
What does that look like?
You're recognizing that youcan't get any pleasure from the
act.
Pleasure is where you believeyou can get pleasure from the
act, that always leads to pain.

(01:11:35):
So it's not like sex itselfleads to pain.
It's the way you're using it.
It's the way you're looking atit, believing that you can get
any pleasure from the act, thesense that you need it, that
you're craving it, letting theHoly Spirit come in and

(01:11:57):
reinterpret that craving for you.
It's not wrong.
That's the thing.
If you make it out to be wrong,then that's resistance.
That's different from what I'msaying.
It's not wrong.
Look, I'm giving you an exampleof how it occurs for me.
I happen to get plenty of sexualfantasies and let me say,

(01:12:19):
everyone who knows what sex isand has experienced it before
get sexual fantasies and a lotof you feel so guilty about it.
You cover it up so quick.
You would say, no, I don't, Inever, I never do that.
You would say, nope, I'd neverdo that.
Well, that's because you coverit up really quickly.

(01:12:41):
That's, it's the underpinningof this freaking illusion.
Sex and murder Okay, andthey're basically the same thing
.
They're basically the samething.
They're both using bodies forthe ego's purposes.
So I'm walking down the streethere in Mexico, apparently,

(01:13:01):
there's no street and no walking, really, there's just a mind
making things up.
All of a sudden I'm hit with asexual fantasy.
I could hear the voice of apast lover.
I get the words that he'ssaying, the sense, the body
sense.
It's like I'm there, I'm, I'mapparently walking down the

(01:13:24):
street, but I'm not present towalking down the street.
All of a sudden I'm in a sexualfantasy.
It's like whoa, it just hits melike that.
All I'm doing is gently askingthe Holy Spirit to help me see
this correctly.
That's it.
You know.
The reason why we don't ask isbecause we want to keep it.

(01:13:45):
I asked the Holy Spirit to helpme see it correctly.
Next thing, you know, I'mentering a coffee shop
Apparently.
I order my drink, I go and sitdown.
I order my drink, I go and sitdown.
I open up a book on my Kindleon my phone.
I'm reading on my Kindle on myphone.
It's a book about Jesus.
I forgot what it's calledSomething Love.

(01:14:11):
It's someone's account of theirexperience with Jesus and in
the book she says how she neverfelt diminished in the presence
of Jesus.
All of a sudden, this hugesadness comes over me and I

(01:14:35):
can't even pay attention to thebook anymore, because now I'm
feeling so sad over the ideathat the person who I'm having
the sexual fantasy about,apparently I felt diminished in
their presence and it was justshown to me right away.
In that instant I was like, oh,thank goodness.
I asked the spirit to be withme.
A little tear comes in my eye.
I asked the spirit to show meand I get to see right away

(01:14:59):
pleasure, pain, right away.
But you know why I get to seeit fast like that?
Because I want to, because Iwant to wake up.
You know why you guys aren'tseeing it fast like that.
If you're not, some of you guys, some of you guys will come in.
You'll hear this and go hope.
But my sexual relationship withmy partner, gosh, it's not like

(01:15:21):
that at all.
It's just pleasure, pleasure,pleasure, pleasure, pleasure,
with no pain.
You know why?
Because you don't want to seeit.
It's okay.
You can have it go on and onand on.
You can have it go on for years, you can have it go on for
decades, it's okay, there'snothing wrong with it.
You're not ready.
You're not ready to see it,that's all you know.

(01:15:43):
It's fun because my apparentsexual partner, too, told me if
I was 10 years older or 10 yearsyounger, or if he was 10 years
older in a dream, he would havemarried me.
And you know he was glad thatthat wasn't the case, because he
too and this is the reason whywe're the ones that seem to be

(01:16:05):
having sex with each other toohe wants to wake up too.
He was glad that I wasn't 10years younger in the dream and
he was glad that it wasprojected like that, so he
wouldn't run away with me and wewouldn't go into this cycle
where we're just like, oh, oh,all this pleasure for years and

(01:16:27):
years and years.
Isn't this so great?
Because it's a distraction,because what we really want is
to see through the dream.
We don't want more of dreaming.
We don't want to waste time indreaming.
This is not what it means towalk with each other in
awakening.

(01:16:47):
This is not.
This is what I'm getting.
This is not what Jesus and MaryMagdalene were doing.
Okay, if they, if they did findthemselves in any kind of
sexual thing, in any kind ofsexual longing or attraction or
anything like that, they wereusing it to see that they don't
want to use bodies for that.

(01:17:09):
They were not trying to worksex magic.
Okay, this is a new age thingtalking about sex magic working
sex magic.
Look it A Course in Miraclestalks about this.
Magic is not the same thing asmiracles.
All right, magic is a perfectword for this.

(01:17:29):
The sex magic.
It's a perfect word.
It's a distraction.
It's meant to distract yourmind.
Okay, cora, I see it like egooffers only pleasure and relief,
yes, and a repeating cycle ofseek and never find pain and
pleasure.
Reality is joy, love, peace.

(01:17:52):
Yes, the healed mind and thehappy dream has us relating as
brother and sister, notincestuous brothers and sisters,
not needing to have these whatyou might call body desires

(01:18:12):
satisfied, not needing to havethat done, not needing to have
any of that done to us.
It's just relating in love, joyand peace.
Believe me, you guys, I knowthis isn't easy.
I know this isn't easy foranyone identified as an ego.
I'm over here speaking it rightnow and I can say it's not easy

(01:18:32):
for me.
Okay, I didn't even know I wasgoing to be talking about this
today.
I had no idea when I come onWisdom Dialogues, I don't know
what I'm going to be sharingwith you guys.
It's not easy for me to saythis.
You think this is easy?
I mean, gosh, I feel like Iwant it.
I feel like I want that, butyou know what I want?

(01:18:56):
More Awakening from the dream.
I feel like I just want to gointo, yeah, someone I can just
have sex with for hours and ah,and just rest here.
Oh, so nice.

(01:19:19):
But what I'm being shown overand over again is that it's a
distraction.
I don't want to be distractedfrom waking up because you know,
look at what we're trading forit.
Look, it's really not thatpleasurable in the first place,
because it can't last, becauseit can't sustain.
What's sustainable is the loveof God, and what's being shown

(01:19:42):
to me is that it's all within.
That's why I'm being shown thissacred geometry right now how
the masculine and feminine areactually within ourselves, how,
on the last ACIM meeting, itcame to real miracles being
worked.
Real miracles are actuallycollapsing time.

(01:20:04):
See, what I was doing when Iwas engaging with these brothers
in this way is still trying touse bodies, even trying to use
bodies for provision.
That's what I was just writingabout and I have something
coming out really soon that youguys are going to see.
It's still good, it still works,because there's different

(01:20:28):
people, different stages ofseeing, and myself included, and
I tend to go back and forth.
I tend to capitulate back andforth.
I'll go into it again and I'llfind some goodies in there.
I'll see.
You know some things that Icould.
I could uh, I could extractsome teachings from it, right,
and I could share thoseteachings with you.

(01:20:49):
It's not anything wrong with it.
You're going to see somethingcoming out on on Substack really
soon.
I'm almost done with it.
It'll probably post tomorrowand it's going to be.
It's going to be geared towarda provision.
You know how the masculinewithin, when it's providing for

(01:21:11):
the feminine, it can onlyreflect as masculine provided
for the feminine without.
Now, this was geared towardssexual relationships.
I'm seeing more now as I goalong, even in wisdom dialogues,
during wisdom dialogues, I'mseeing more and then I find
myself also that's why I say I'mnot opposed to having sex again

(01:21:33):
, I don't know if it's going tooccur, I don't mind if it does
or not, because of what it'sused for.
I'm saying I'm not opposed toit, but every time I find myself
going back to it again.
There's greater awareness Now.
There's the awareness of veryclear awareness.
Will it remain clear?
That remains to be seen, butthere's a very clear awareness

(01:21:57):
in this moment that it's asubstitute for the ecstasy
that's within.
It's only a substitute.
It can't last.
Pleasure always leads to pain.
Enjoyment is using all bodiesand all things for the Holy
Spirit's purposes.

(01:22:17):
I see it like ego offers onlypleasure and relief.
Yes, and a repeating cycle ofseek and never find pain and
pleasure.
Reality is joy, love and peace.
I love that comment.
Thank you, cora.
And then she says, yep, cuteaggression, cute aggression.

(01:22:40):
I love that.
Cute aggression is an examplethat reminds me of ego's love.
Also the song closer by nineinch nails.
I don't know that song.
I'll have to check that up,check that out.
Ungripping brothers yes,ungripping brothers.
Wow, this is wild.

(01:23:05):
You know, it's like I had asense like gosh.
That sucks that the person thatI seem to be in love with you
know.
He's saying I would havemarried you if you were 10 years
younger.
And I'm like gosh, that isfucked up.
That is one fucked up thing tosay.

(01:23:27):
But actually I look at it and Igo.
Thank goodness I get where thatstatement was coming from.
Neither of us want to runaround in illusion anymore.
Thank goodness for that.
This is the reason it was setup like this Because we both are

(01:23:53):
devoted to awakening in thislifetime and that's why we came
into connection with one another.
I can't get sexually attractedreally to anyone without that
kind of devotion.
Anyways, that's what I noticed.
I mean, can I?
I don't know, but it doesn'tseem like it.

(01:24:15):
It's funny, like around here Iget all kinds of propositions.
One guy was telling me when Iwas out at a dinner he goes, he
goes.
You know the.
The ratio of women to men hereis 40 to one, like 40 women to
one man.
And he would.
You know.
Of course everyone's thinkingthat everyone's looking for a
partner.

(01:24:36):
Right, he's like.
So if you came here looking fora partner, you know your
chances aren't very good and Igo.
Well, I've already had a wholeshitload of propositions, so it
must not matter that it's 40 to1.
If I was looking for a partner,I could certainly find one.
That would be easy.

(01:24:57):
Could certainly find one.
That would be easy.
Two people have told me I couldlive with them.
They told me I can come livewith them.
You know the thing about livingwith people.
I charge for that actually,that's actually something on my
website that I charge for.
It's not cheap either.

(01:25:18):
You know why.
It's like man if I come overand live with you.
That's You're getting some.
You're getting some good, somegood action.
Maybe not in the form of sex,probably not in the form of sex,
but you're getting some goodaction in the form of awakening.
It's a service that I actuallyoffer, where I spend a minimum

(01:25:39):
of eight hours a day with you,where I go through your uh, your
life with you, your work, andshow you know, show you reveal,
reveal patterns and stuff likethat.
Right, but these guys wereasking me, you know that, you
know, as if that's somethingthat would be a relationship,

(01:26:03):
some sort of relationship I'vebeen offered.
You know, apparently the storyaround here is that women are
hoping to meet someone and marrysomeone so they can become a
Mexican citizen or something andstay in Mexico.
Yeah, I've been offered thatalready, not because of anything

(01:26:28):
, but not because of any reason,but to help people see through
the illusion and help myself seethrough the illusion.
It's all myself.
It's for teaching and learning.
That's what I use everythingfor.
I've been offered all kinds ofsex.
I've been offered places tostay, all kinds of different

(01:26:49):
things.
It doesn't matter that there'sapparently this many looking for
that?
Who are looking for that?
The thing is, I'm not lookingfor it.
That's the whole draw.
I'm using the illusion for onething to help see through the

(01:27:10):
illusion.
That's my goal.
That's my goal with the HolySpirit.
I still get the same kind ofthoughts that regular, you could
say regular people get, Sexualfantasy being one of them.
I haven't since when was thatYesterday maybe, or the day
before yesterday, I don't knowSometime this weekend Didn't

(01:27:32):
have a sexual fantasy since then, which is unusual actually,
because that's something thatjust like keeps on coming and I
keep on bringing it to the truthand I know it's not personal.
That's the other thing.
That's why you know peoplemight go man, hope you're a perv
.
You're having sexual fantasiesall the time.
No, it's a world thing.

(01:27:53):
I'm open to it.
I'm open to seeing it.
That's why I'm open to it.
I'm open to seeing it.
That's why what goes on ispeople have that idea and cover
it up, and then they wonder whythey're bummed out, why it seems
like they're not happening.
If something's not happeningfor them, they're not getting
what they think they want in theworld.

(01:28:14):
They're not getting.
Even if you think you just wantto cuddle, it's the same thing.
You know they have cuddleparties over in Pahoa, where I'm
from, where I came from beforecoming to Mexico.
Cuddle parties, which I'm notsaying is bad at all, it's not
one bit.
That is not what I'm saying.

(01:28:35):
It's an outlet for this ideathat we need touch and it's
unwillingness to use it for whatit's really for Any pleasure I
get out of this.
I'm projecting.
That's really what's going on.
Okay, so a clip from the lyricsto closer you let me violate you

(01:28:59):
.
You let me desecrate you.
You let me penetrate you.
You let me complicate you.
I broke apart my insides.
Help me, I've got no soul tosell, the only thing that works
for me.
Help me get away from myself.
I want to fuck you like ananimal.
I remember that song.
I remember that song.

(01:29:20):
Yeah, that's it.
You guys, that's going on andthis song is great.
I remember it.
Now I didn't realize that's thename of it, but that's the part
I remember.
I want to fuck you like ananimal.
Yeah, I want to feel you fromthe inside.
I don't know if I got thefucking tune right, but maybe

(01:29:40):
I'll sing that in karaoke nexttime.
My whole existence is flawed.
You get me closer to God.
See, that's the idea too, thatsomehow this gets us closer to
God.
That's the ego, god.
That's the ego.
That's what the ego made,because that keeps, actually

(01:30:03):
keeps us closer to identifyingas an ego.
Small g God.
Yes, exactly, yeah, that's theego, god.
It's all about sex.
It's all about sex and murder.
It came to me.
Sex, it's all about sex andmurder.
It came to me not too long ago.

(01:30:26):
I want to fuck is the same as Iwant to die.
It's like the flip, it's likethe opposite of that, it's like
the flip side.
I want to die, I want to fuck,I want to die, I want to fuck, I
want to die, I want to fuck, Iwant to die Same thing.
So, watching that, I see, I seeI'm giving, now that I, now
that I'm, now that I'm on thisagain, in this way, I get

(01:30:49):
visions of the happy dream andwe're like, truly like children.
Who hasn't, who haven't beencontaminated with this idea that
we could use our bodies forpleasure, that it would be a
good thing to use our bodies forpleasure?
Jesus, in A Course in Miracles,says you've misunderstood what

(01:31:14):
sex is for.
He says sex in the physicalsense Is for making children,
for making babies, so that wecould Bring more bodies into the
world, for forgiveness sake.
He's talking about Sex beingused as a container for that,

(01:31:39):
and maybe there's a part wherehe alludes to sex being used
when two people come together asa container for helping to
awaken the mind.
Maybe I'm not quite sure onthat.
I'll let you know when thatbecomes more clear to me.

(01:32:00):
But certainly he's saying we'vemisunderstood it and he's also
saying that no pleasure comesfrom it.
This is a far cry from whatpeople are talking about with
this sex magic thing.

(01:32:23):
There's a reason why in A Coursein Miracles there's a
distinguishing between magic andmiracles, because magic is the
ego's tool.
It gets you closer to the egoGod.
It does not get you closer toGod, as in the eternal God.

(01:32:45):
It gets you closer to the egoGod who wants nothing but to
punish you.
And using bodies in that wayinevitably leads to punishment.
It leads to a sense ofpunishment.
You can't really be punished,but you know you end up

(01:33:10):
suffering.
You end up in suffering and I'mglad that the cycle runs for me
quickly.
I'm glad about that.
I'm, I'm, I'm happy that Idon't get to rest and relax in a
sexual relationship.
Ah, I have such a nice and I'mnot one bit jealous of any of my

(01:33:33):
friends who seem to beexperiencing that.
Oh, I finally found it.
Oh, I'm having such a good,divine sex, magic sexual
relationship.
Everything's just going soright.
You know what.
That's the distraction that youneed for now.

(01:33:56):
That's what you want.
If you're listening to wisdomdialogues, you also want to know
, however dimly you want to knowyou might be pissed at me for
saying this that it's adistraction.
I had what I thought was themost beautiful situation.

(01:34:18):
Everything seemed to beclicking.
That only lasted.
Where everything seemed to beclicking, maybe for a couple of
weeks, and I'm going, you know,for a while.
There I was looping aroundworking what Jesus would call
circular miracles.
I was looping around with myJesus would call circular
miracles.
I was looping around with myfriend.
My friend would go okay, I'mready to commit, I'm ready to

(01:34:45):
really do this.
And then he'd go oh no, I'm not.
So I looped around with it.
These are the circular miraclesthat Jesus would talk about,
where I get a forgivenessopportunity and I'd use it to
basically bring my mind backinto alignment as far as feeling

(01:35:05):
good again.
Okay, all right, all good,we're not, it's not real.
And then?
But then the loop would comeagain.
Because the underlying beliefthat I needed to finally
collapse time to stop loopingaround with this brother right,
so finally stopped loopingaround with him was to see that

(01:35:27):
I don't need him for that, Idon't need him to change.
And when I saw that I don'tneed him for that, then I
recognized there's nothing forus to talk about.
There is nothing for us to eventalk about, because the energy
that he was offering me had todo with ego games.

(01:35:52):
It was part of the loop.
Ego games it was part of theloop.
And you know, certainly he'llsee his way out of it too.
He'll see his way right, if he,if he hasn't already, maybe he
has already.
I don't know, I haven't beenhaving communication with him,

(01:36:15):
but he may seen his way out ofit too, because there was this
sense like I was so drawn to him.
There was a sense ofspecialness, like he was special
in some way, that I was sodrawn to him.
And there was this and therewas this game that was being
played.
Once I saw that I didn't needto use his body for that, that
that wasn't interesting to meanymore.
I could see right through thestrategy he was playing.

(01:36:36):
I was like I see your strategy,I'm not interested.
Before that I was letting himplay a strategy and kept on
looping around with him.
So once the time collapsingmiracle was worked, once I
worked the time collapsingmiracle, which is basically

(01:36:58):
seeing that the underlyingbelief that I need this brother
to be any different Like I, youknow, in in my mind.
Here's what was playing outthat I wasn't recognizing that I
needed him to either decide togo away and stop pursuing me or

(01:37:20):
I needed him to commit.
I either needed him to go awayor I needed him to commit.
So what I saw was I neededneither from him.
And then, once I saw that Icould see the strategy he was
playing so clearly, I justreflected it back to him.
I said here's the strategyyou're playing with me and all
these different ways, and I'mnot here to coddle your ego.

(01:37:46):
And so there was like, oh, inthat case, let's not do that
anymore, right, in that case,let's not do that anymore, right
?
So the only reason that couldhave occurred even you know, in

(01:38:07):
the physical sense, wherethere's this apparent joining
like that for sexual interactionis that both of us have a very
strong devotion toward waking up.
So the even the games that arebeing played, we both have our
eye on it Right, and indifferent ways.

(01:38:31):
It's so interesting.
It's so interesting how both ofus help each other so much.
You know, in some ways it seemslike I'm further advanced than
him, and then in other ways itseems like he's further advanced
than me and really it's justthe perfect combination to see
that we don't want distractionsanymore, that we only want to

(01:38:51):
use these interactions and weonly want to use each other for
awakening the mind.
We don't want to use it foranything else.
We don't want to use theseinteractions and we only want to
use each other for awakeningthe mind.
We don't want to use it foranything else.
We don't want to use it forthese relationships.
We're not going deep into egorelationships, separate
relationships.
I'm to the point now where itseems like I cannot bear
children.
So it seems like there's noreason for me to be involved in

(01:39:15):
any sexual relationships.
So any, it seems to me at thispoint in time, any sexual
relationships that seem to be apull toward me in any way.
I'm just going to see him as adistraction.
There's nothing there.

(01:39:36):
For me, distraction is thegentleness you've asked for.
Thank you, cora.
Yes, that's right.
That's right.
Everything's so gentle.
I mean, we are asking fordistractions.
We are asking for distractions,you know.
We are asking for them just sowe could see through them.

(01:40:02):
The Holy Spirit is notcondemning our dream.
The Holy Spirit is onlyreinterpreting everything toward
truth, and the truth is thatthis dream is only manifesting
so that it could be used forending all dreaming.
It's not so that we can getwhat we think we want Again.

(01:40:28):
The happy dream, the way it'scoming to me, does not involve
sex at all, because once themind is purified of all guilt,
there's no need to make babies.
The only reason for makingbabies is to bring everything to
the truth.
Now, when we don't have that onour mind, when we don't have
that on our mind, we don't wantto use each other for that.

(01:40:49):
We don't want to make eachother special in this way.
There's there's no, there's nocause for any any um harming one
another.
It's, it's this, this sensethat we've harmed one another.
I know for myself, with myhusband, one thing that I felt,
uh, really connected with himand like I just need to stay

(01:41:13):
with him.
How could I, you know, howcould I leave a guy like this?
He never gave me the uh, theimpression that he was ever
looking at another woman.
That made me feel so special.
No wonder I was able to looparound with him for 30 years.
I felt so special.

(01:41:34):
Cora says just wait, they'relike gremlins and make.
They're like gremlins and makemore babies.
Gremlins that's a good one.
Yeah, we don't.
We don't need to make babiesOnce the mind is purified of
guilt.
The only reason we need to makebabies right now is because we

(01:41:57):
need more consciousness to helpus undo this illusion.
That's the whole reason we'remaking babies.
You know, from the ego'sperspective, we're making babies
to kill the son of God more.
It leads to death, and that'swhy everything in the world
always leads to death.
All distractions lead to deathand that's why everything in the
world always leads to death.

(01:42:17):
All distractions lead to death,sex being one of them.
You know this weird attractionto food, and look it.
Here's what I'm saying about aweird attraction to food.
Notice how you think of acertain food, like it's your
reward, a certain food, likeit's your reward.

(01:42:43):
Notice how you think of anykind of activity that you get to
do Like it's your reward.
There's no reward here.
It's not like that.
Anything that you think is yourreward is your distraction.
That's not making it bad orwrong.
That's asking you to look at itas it is.
Only look at it as it is, notmaking it wrong, not forcing
yourself not to do it.

(01:43:04):
Same with sex, same witheverything Cora is saying more
babies, more suffering.
Yes, until we use the theillusion properly, until we
really use the illusion properly, until we really use the
illusion properly.
The thing is, and what Jesus wassaying in the last ACIM deep
dive that we did, was that ourmind is very much unguarded,

(01:43:35):
even those of us who are reallydevoted like the way I see
myself is one of the mostdevoted people in my perception
right, one of the most devotedpeople in my perception and what
I'm noticing is that my mind isoften unguarded, and that's
what Jesus was saying when hewas talking to Helen and Bill in
A Course in Miracles.
He was saying your mind isalmost always unguarded and, who
knows, they were perhaps at adifferent place as far as

(01:43:59):
devotion than I am, because Idon't feel like my mind is
almost always unguarded,especially since I could be
walking down the street,apparently and a sexual fantasy
occurs to my mind and withinseconds, I'm asking the Holy
Spirit to step in.
I'm not letting that thing goright.
That's a sign of devotion To me.

(01:44:20):
That's a sign of devotionbecause I'm not letting things
go.
I'll get a thought, you know,because of this sense of missing
my friend as a sexual partnerwhat a fucking idiot, you know
like a projection toward myfriend.
And immediately it's like waita second, that's a projection.
That's what I mean by guardingthe mind.

(01:44:41):
That's what it is.
It's guarding the mind.
It's going.
That's a projection.
What a fucking jackass, right?
And then I'm noticing, okay,that projection, right, there is
also covering up anotherthought, that I miss him.
And then immediately thatthought is met with no, I don't.
No, I don't miss him, I don'tmiss the pain, I don't miss the

(01:45:06):
cycling around, right?
So this is what I mean byguarding the mind.
If we're not guarding the mind,number one, the first thought,
that's saying what a fuckingidiot, he didn't see that this
is fucking awesome and he shouldstay with it, right, what a
fucking idiot.
If you're not guarding the mindfirst of all, that thought

(01:45:27):
automatically gets believed.
So you don't recognize theunderlying thought, underlying
that that says I miss him.
And then you can't recognizethat you actually don't miss.
You actually don't miss.
That was actually just pain.
It was just cycling around likethat, right, you do not miss.

(01:45:47):
We're not even capable ofmissing my friend, as he is as
the light of God, as the son ofGod, is never left me.
We're one.
I can't miss him.
And if I ever see him again inform, it's completely different
Because that sense that I wantto fuck him is purified Because

(01:46:13):
I could see it.
I could see it coming in.
I could see the thought comingin and say Holy Spirit, look at
this with me.
So, first of all, there's asense I want to fuck and I'm not
getting it and I'm pissed andhe's an idiot.
See that this is what's playingout in the mind.

(01:46:37):
I'm just recognizing it withthe Holy Spirit.
Sometimes people ask me gosh,you really share some personal,
vulnerable stuff.
It's not personal, it'suniversal.
It is not one bit personal andI am the son of God.

(01:46:59):
I am not vulnerable toillusions.
See, the idea that anything isvulnerable.
That's misidentification.
There's no vulnerability hereat all.
That's why I'm able to talkabout it.
I'm not vulnerable one bit toillusions.
I'm able to talk about it.
I'm not vulnerable one bit toillusions.

(01:47:20):
What plays out in my mind isplaying out in a shared mind.
None of these thoughts areprivate.
I don't believe it.
When you guys try to reflect tome that I'm the weird one, give
me a fucking break.
All the thoughts, suicide,everything they're all in one
mind From a natural perspective.

(01:47:40):
Here's a comment from Cora.
Who's really fucking on it.
Thank you, cora, for being withme From a neutral perspective,
thank you.
Idiots are players in the dreamas well, though.
Yes, and you know I've sharedbefore.

(01:48:04):
It's like if I'm saying what afucking idiot, basically I'm
talking about myself.
Right, I'm not.
I'm not talking about anyonebut myself.
There's no, there's no onedoing anything outside of my own
mind.
I cast everything.
If someone seems to be an idiot,that's a thought against myself
, it's a self-attack.
And here's the thing aboutself-attacks, you guys.

(01:48:25):
All of them are physical.
That's why it leads to death.
All self-attacks are physical.
So people suffer pain,emotional turmoil, scarcity, all
these different things becausebelieving attack thoughts have

(01:48:48):
any meaning.
They actually have no meaning.
See, I was glad when I got thisperception, um, when one of my
friends told me I could have.
I could actually.
This reminds me of, like Jesusgetting tempted.
Um, it's in some of the, insome of the Bible passages where

(01:49:09):
Jesus was being tempted.
A friend told me you can haveand my friend was doing me a
great favor, you know, it wasperfect.
You can have, uh, you can keepon having sex with this person
in another realm, in anotherdimension.
You can keep on having sex withthis person.
There's actually a guide thatwants to help you go there, to

(01:49:32):
this other dimension, where youcan have sex with him.
And he's mature and he'sawesome.
He's not acting the way he'sacting in this dimension, and I
recognized it took me two days,though.
First I was like, oh, thatsounds great.
I'm going to try to access thisguide, I want it.

(01:49:54):
It took me two days, though, tosee that that was a huge
distraction, and I know womenwho are suffering over that.
I know them.
They had the sense that thisguy who showed up, they were
perfect for them.
They're their soulmate, they'rethe ones they want.
What do they do?
They spend their time longingfor this Total distraction,

(01:50:20):
totally distraught, all the time, totally looking at other
bodies of other men, looking forthat kind of connection, where
it's going to come to that kindof connection again.
Total waste of time, totaldistraction.
I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
So once I saw that it was adistraction, I was like oh, I'm

(01:50:42):
on this, I'm so happy, Icouldn't, I couldn't be happier.
I just I just keep on gettinghappier and happier as this
thing unfolds.
And it's almost like going backto before this.
Um, before this sexual energyarose with my friend, before it

(01:51:02):
just came in kind of like a, a,a bang or a flood.
It was just like boom, oh, mygoodness, we're of this extreme
joy.
Uh, uh, extreme, and uh, let'ssay extreme may not be the word

(01:51:23):
because it's also very calm.
Um, it might seem extreme to anego, cause the ego is like you
got no reason to be joyful likethis, you don't even have
anything good.
Why are you so joyful?
Right, and I got to this placespiritually, mentally, you might

(01:51:45):
say where I just felt so atease and peaceful and joyful,
and that's when this sexualrelationship thing just came
flooding in and I know that thisis a thing, and now I'm really
watchful for it Because I getthe sense that I got back to
that place from before this camein and at first it just felt so

(01:52:09):
in alignment, it was like, ohyes, and then it showed itself
to be a distraction.
So now that I have thatexperience and I find myself in
that, and that's the thing,that's why I keep on getting
proposition too.
It's a, it's this distraction,energy coming back, I'm like,

(01:52:29):
nope, not appealing to me.
It for one, it doesn't seem tobe coming in exactly the form
where I would accept it.
Right, it doesn't seem to becoming in that kind of form.
Will it come in exactly theform that I can accept it?
I don't know.
And if it does, will I acceptit?
I don't know.

(01:52:50):
That remains to be seen.
All I know is I'm going to usewhatever it is that arises, not
for condemnation of my actions,not for condemnation of my
apparent choices.
I'm going to use it the sameway as I use everything in the
dream, and that's for undoingthe dream with the Holy Spirit's

(01:53:12):
guidance.
Dream with the Holy Spirit'sguidance.
Cora said you got scared of theintegrity of more love.
Sovereignty moment, oh,intensity of more love, yeah,
yeah, it was an escape.
It was like oh, I'll run intothis because the veil was

(01:53:35):
lifting.
Because the veil was liftingright now, and so I'm back to
that.
I'm back to that sense of justlike oh, I'm so stoked.
I'm not projecting onto anyonethat they should be anything for
me, I'm just getting a senselike it's perfect as it is and

(01:53:55):
now, with no apparent sexualpartner, I'm loving it All right
.
Thank you everyone.
Thank you for joining.
So, um, go visit my website Ifyou want more.
Hope Johnson hopejohnsonorg.
I now have on my blog page.
This thing is being updated allthe time.

(01:54:16):
I apparently hired someone tohelp my blog page.
This thing is being updated allthe time.
I apparently hired someone tohelp me and it's being updated
all the time.
There's a donation thing onthere that works.
You guys can donate to me.
I'm a hundred percent off,working off of donations.
Now I don't have any kind ofsource of income, except you can

(01:54:36):
do one-to-ones with me via mywebsite, and that's something
that can be paid for.
Also, I've become a religiousnonprofit now, so your donations
are 100% tax deductible becauseof that.
You can set up recurringdonations if you want.
Now, if you make any donationto me via my website, let me

(01:55:03):
know if you want to.
This is going to start beingautomatic eventually.
But let me know if you want afree, paid subscription to
Substack, because I'm doing paidstuff on Substack.
This is not these wisdomdialogues, those are free, but
I'm doing articles on Substack.
I'll be writing about all thisstuff too, and with the articles

(01:55:24):
I do a voiceover and I also doa bonus audio at the end.
Those things are on a paidsubscription.
So if you donate to my websiteor you just hear me on here, you
don't donate.
It's fine.
If you want to send me amessage anywhere, send me your
email address and tell me youwant a free, lifetime paid

(01:55:44):
subscription to Substack.
I'd rather have you, if youfeel inspired to donate, donate
on my website, because thenyou're not paying a 15% service
charge to Substack.
Okay, and when you pay it toSubstack, that's not a tax
deductible donation.
When you pay it toHopeJohnsonorg, it is because I

(01:56:06):
am officially a religiousnonprofit.
So, hopejohnsonorg, sign up.
When you sign up for mynewsletter now at hopejohnsonorg
, you're automatically going tobe added to the Substack
newsletter.
Basically, my website is beingintegrated with Substack.
When you go to my blog pagesoon to be on my homepage you're

(01:56:30):
going to see all my lateststuff.
It's going to be really easy toaccess all the things that I do
, which is a lot.
Now, uh, because I don't have asource of income, because I did
see through the idea that Ineeded a source of income, um,
outside of this sharing witheveryone.
Um, no more real estate agent,no more miracle botanicals owner

(01:56:55):
manager.
I'm not.
I'm getting, I'm in the processof getting completely
disentangled with MiracleBotanicals, not that I don't
still totally love MiracleBotanicals.
That's the business I founded.
My husband is running it now.
He also is really good atsourcing the best essential oils
in the world.
Totally recommend it.
I Totally recommend it.

(01:57:15):
I totally use it.
In fact, I had him send a boxhere with a bunch of stuff for
me here to Mexico which I didn'tget because something to do
with customs.
We'll see what happens.
I'll be back in the States.
By the way, august 31st I havemy plane ticket bought.
August 31st I'll be going toSedona, arizona, where my lovely

(01:57:37):
friend Thomas is going to behosting me.
He's gone to Wisdom Dialogues alot over in Hawaii where I
started and was doing WisdomDialogues for 11 years, and he
offered to host me in Sedona,arizona.
So we'll see what the spiritguides while I'm over there.

(01:57:57):
But anyone who wants to comeand visit me, you're welcome
here in Mexico until the end ofAugust or over there in Sedona.
The plan is, after Sedona,november 1st, somewhere around
November 1st, for me to go toWashington where I'll be hosted
by some other friends, billy andCasey, in Bellingham,

(01:58:18):
washington, in a beautiful homeon a lake during the winter
months, where that's going to beinteresting, because I'm
getting the sense that I'll gointo a mode where I'll be doing
maybe more extensive writing,like book writing.
But who knows, we'll let thespirit guide it and see what's
happening, having a great time,living in alignment with

(01:58:45):
whatever the spirit wants,because I have no ideas anymore
of anything that I need to getfor myself, not a partner, not
someone to have sex with, notsomeone that I need to provide
for me, not a job, nothing likethat, just listening to the Holy
Spirit and going deep, goingdeep and undoing this dream for

(01:59:06):
myself and for everyone.
All right.
So yes, thank you, I love you.
Thank you, dorga, I appreciateyou.
I'm glad the veil continues tolift for you.
Me too, teaching is learning,giving is receiving.
I love it and, yes, I wouldlove some earrings donation.
Thank you.
I mostly love actually notmostly 100% love to wear feather

(01:59:31):
earrings.
I love feather earrings, see,like this, that are thin and
light.
This is my favorite thing.
Um, if you give me other kindsof earrings, I can't guarantee
that I would really wear them.
Um, but if you feel likesending them to me, go ahead.
That sounds fun.
I don't have an address forthat right now, but I will.
What about expanding miraclebotanicals into Canada?

(01:59:51):
Be the queen, disperse the work.
Well, you know, that's notguided for me.
That's the thing.
Miracle Botanicals has nottruly been guided for me since
2014.
The reason I found myselfcontinuing to do it was that
masculine aspect of myself thatthought it had to hold

(02:00:12):
everything up.
The calling for me is to dothis.
What I'm doing with you rightnow, and also, uh, the the
different writings and thedifferent recordings that I do
100% of the time listening tothe Holy spirit, not running any
kind of business.
Okay, and I'm not saying youcan't run a business while
listening to the Holy spirit.
That's just not the calling forme right now, and I'm also open

(02:00:35):
to that changing if that be thecase.
So, thank you everyone.
I love you Until next time.
I'll be back on Wednesday foranother ACIM Deep Dive, same
time here on Zoom and alsoSubstack.
So I love you.

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Beyond the Body: Finding True Ecstasy Within | Wisdom Dialogues @ Ajijic Mexico | July 28, 2025

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Beyond the Body: Finding True Ecstasy Within | Wisdom Dialogues @ Ajijic Mexico | July 28, 2025