April 25, 2024 • 36 mins
This episode recounts the powerful true story of Amber’s parents' transition from a life of substance abuse in a hippie commune to finding faith in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It covers their early life filled with drugs and searching for meaning, encounters with pivotal figures that sparked a desire for a better life, and the series of spiritual and personal transformations that led them to a devout Christian life. Their journey showcases the impact of sincere faith, the power of change, and the belief that Christ reaches out to all, regardless of past choices, offering hope and redemption. The narrative is interspersed with personal reflections on the nature of addiction, divine love, and the testimonies that brought them closer to God, culminating in a life devoted to serving others and sharing their faith.
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Go Here to learn more about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and request a free copy of The Book of Mormon.
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00:00 Introduction: A Sensitive Journey of Transformation
00:49 Sponsor Spotlight: Thrive Life's Impact
01:28 From LSD to LDS: A Family's Radical Change
03:38 A Hippie Commune Encounter: The Beginning of a New Path
09:57 The Spiritual Awakening: From Hallucinogens to Holiness
18:20 A New Direction: Embracing Faith and Leaving the Past Behind
28:11 A Life Transformed: The Power of Faith and Service
33:09 Reflections and Lessons: The Reach of Christ
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Amber (00:00):
A little warning before we start this episode of the
(00:03):
podcast, this story containsmentions of drug use and may be
a sensitive subject for some.
I'll be sharing a story of myparents experience in leaving a
life of substance abuse behindand finding Christ.
Their journey is unique to them,and I understand that everyone's
(00:24):
story and views may not be thesame.
No one person or story is betterthan the other, but just
different.
I have a feeling you'll bewanting to see some pictures of
some of the cool things that Imention in this story.
So check out the show notes fora link to where you can view
(00:44):
those pictures.
Shall we move on?
I am so grateful to be able tohave the time and means to
produce this podcast, but itwouldn't be possible without
Thrive Life.
Thrive Life is the best freezedried food that you can possibly
find with a 25 year shelf life,high quality food, and a
(01:08):
delicious taste.
You cannot put a price tag onpeace of mind and preparedness.
So go to amber.
thrivelife.
com and set up a delivery to get15 percent off retail price and
free shipping on any orders overa hundred dollars.
(01:35):
You are listening to episodethree of the Hope Smiling
Brightly podcast, from LSD toLDS, how my parents found Christ
in the middle of a hippiecommune.
President Russell M.
Nelson said.
"As you think celestial, youwill find yourself avoiding
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anything that robs you ofagency.
Any addiction, be it gaming,gambling, debt, drugs, alcohol,
anger, pornography, sex, or evenfood, offends god.
Why?
Because your obsession becomesyour God.
(02:20):
You look to it rather than tohim for solace.
If you struggle with anaddiction, seek the spiritual
and professional help you need.
Please do not let an obsessionrob you of your freedom to
follow God's fabulous plan closequote this quote made me think
(02:45):
of Lyrics from a hymn I love tosing where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace when othersources cease to make me whole?
He answers privately reaches myreaching.
(03:08):
This is a story of two of God'schildren who were seeking
solace, but did not know whereto find it.
A story that teaches that nomatter your circumstances or
choices, Christ is reaching.
Whether you can barely think toreach.
(03:29):
Or you are reaching with all ofyour might.
His hand is stretched out still.
The nicest mode oftransportation in the hippie
commune was my dad's dump truck.
So, my mom knew something wasodd when a beautiful black sedan
(03:50):
came up the drive and parked infront of their free form hippie
home.
Others in the commune stoppedand watched, but only for a
moment.
Because when two men in blacksuits got out of a car, everyone
scattered in fear, sure it wasthe FBI coming for a drug bust.
(04:12):
Two people stayed in place.
My mom and my dad.
My mom didn't move because shewas curious why my dad was
smiling and had no fear thatothers displayed.
My dad didn't move because heknew exactly who these men were.
(04:36):
There was no mistaking the lightin their countenance, the smile
in their eyes.
He knew they were members of theChurch of Jesus Christ of Latter
day Saints, not the FBI.
My father's parents believed inGod.
His mother went from church tochurch to church trying to find
(04:58):
some place that felt like homewithout much success.
It wasn't until they decided totake a road trip across the
country that they learned abouta faith that would change their
lives.
They had decided that they weretired of living in a cloudy
state and wanted to find a statewith more sunshine.
(05:21):
So they were visiting differentplaces across the United States.
To try and figure out where theywanted to live and in their
travels ended up in Salt LakeCity, Utah, my dad's father
immediately crossed Utah off hislist when he realized it was
(05:41):
harder to find a nice cold beerto drink than normal.
And he was completely aghastwhen he went to a cafe to get
his morning cup of coffee andall they served was Postum.
Definitely not for him.
But before they left, my dad'smother really wanted to visit
(06:02):
the historic Temple Square.
She knew nothing of the Churchof Jesus Christ of Latter day
Saints, but she was curious whatthis place was all about.
They agreed to join a tour beingled by a kind, middle aged man.
During the tour, they learnedthat their tour guide was a
(06:25):
heart surgeon and he volunteeredone day a week, giving tours at
temple square that astounded mygrandmother, that someone that
held a occupation as prestigiousas heart surgeon would give up
that money to serve in such away every single week it
(06:50):
impressed her so much that shewanted to learn more.
What was it about this faiththat would cause this man to
make such a sacrifice?
It took a few years, but theywere able to learn more.
They decided to move to thesunny state of New Mexico, and
one day, my dad heard a knock onthe door.
(07:12):
It was two sister missionaries,asking him if they could tell
him something, to which heresponded, You too can tell me
anything you want.
He welcomed these two cute youngladies in and they taught him
and the whole family, thegospel.
My grandmother was incrediblyreceptive because of the
experience that she had and theyall were quickly baptized.
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My father was 16 at the time, sograduated soon after, joined the
army straight out of highschool, and church was no longer
on his mind.
He began drinking and smoking inthe army, and thankfully was
sent to Germany instead ofVietnam.
After his service, he moved backto New Mexico, but decided to
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live in a commune in northernNew Mexico.
But the locals didn't like thehippies squatting on their land,
so they got pushed out.
My dad decided that he wouldtake an inheritance he got from
his grandfather and purchasesome land right outside
Albuquerque, New Mexico.
That became the hippie commune.
(08:22):
At first, it just consisted of acamper, some tents, and friends,
many of whom were felons.
He spent his time building afree form artistic home with his
best friend.
To earn money, he purchased adump truck and hauled trash and
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cut and sold firewood.
One day, he was deliveringfirewood to a family that he
recognized from when he joinedthe church.
But that family didn't recognizehim, with his long hair and long
beard.
But he also recognized the joyand the love that was in that
home and it sparked a seed ofdesire.
(09:07):
He wanted that kind of lifesomehow, but he just did not
know how to find it.
Little did he know his life wasabout to change.
He was driving home and passedhis best friend in a car.
They both slowed down and hebacked up his dump truck, leaned
out the window.
(09:29):
And asked, got a match?
What he couldn't see is thatthere was a woman sitting in the
back of that car watching andwhen she saw my dad lean outta
that dump truck in an instant,she knew that would be the man
she would spend the rest of herlife with.
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That woman was my mom, mymother.
was raised by a mother who wasagnostic.
She always said, when I die,I'll keep my eyes open, but
religion was not a part of herlife.
Her father was a well educatedand well known pediatrician, a
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good man, but also an atheist.
Religion was never a part of herupbringing.
She vaguely remembers gettingdressed up to go to an Easter
service one time.
What is interesting is that eventhough she was never taught
about God, she often foundherself talking to God.
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She felt a surprising personalcloseness, especially when
making a mistake, because shewas always so upset with him for
not stopping her from makingthat mistake.
She spent her high school yearsat a boarding school and was a
really good girl as a teenager.
Still, the only things she knewabout Christ was a few things a
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Catholic boyfriend told her.
Besides that, she didn't knowmuch.
After high school, she went tocollege on the East Coast to
major in art, and there wasintroduced to drugs.
She had a more powerfulexperience when she took drugs
than was typical of her friends.
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As she tried different drugs,she found that hallucinogens
were her favorite.
And in some ways was moreaddicted to the hallucinations
than she was to the drug.
She went to study abroad programin Denmark and tried even
heavier drugs there.
When she came back to theStates, she did all the typical
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hippie things.
Yes, she went to Woodstock andremembers having to park 13
miles away and walk to getthere.
She remembers feeling the groundvibrate the closer she got from
the massive amount of people andthe sound.
Beyond that, she doesn'tremember much.
And if anyone else who has beento Woodstock claims to remember
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more, they're probably lying.
Because most people were justhigh the whole time.
My mom at some point decided toquit college and move to New
York City, where she did most ofher drug use.
She would dance down the streetsof New York City and play her
castanets.
No, she wasn't high when she didthat.
(12:29):
She just did it for fun, butspent most of her time tripping
in Central Park and wasincredibly grateful that she was
somehow able to avoid anythingterrible happening to her as a
beautiful young 20 year oldwoman hanging out alone in
Central Park.
Her Best friend and roommatedecided to move from New York
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City to New Mexico, and so shedecided to go along with her.
It was while she was looking fora place to live that she saw my
dad leaning out of that dumptruck.
And when the living situation inNew Mexico didn't pan out, She
decided to join the hippiecommune with my dad.
(13:12):
By that time, the Freeform househad taken shape, so people could
either stay in tents or stay inone of the rooms in the Freeform
house that was literally madeout of scraps from a lumber
yard, she became good friendswith my dad at that point
because he was in arelationship.
My mom began to realize trulyhow miserable she was taking
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hallucinogens had made her moreparanoid and anxious.
She didn't understand why shewas here.
She didn't understand what herpurpose was.
And so she decided to ask God.
And this is where the reachingstarted.
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Even though she wasn't living agreat life, she reached to God
and asked, why am I here?
And she was surprised at theanswer.
The words came, You are here tolearn charity.
Oh great, she thought.
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I give my stuff away all thetime.
That's charity, right?
But she didn't understand thecharity he was talking about.
God continued reaching to her inunique and personal ways,
whether she was able to see across within the shape of a
landscape or hear words fromscripture that she had never
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read.
She recognized that he wastrying to teach her about him.
Being so miserable in thecommune, she decided to use an
inheritance from her grandfatherto hitchhike across Europe by
herself, much to her parentsworry.
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Over three months, she foundboyfriends, stayed in hostels,
met people who were heading inthe same direction and
hitchhiked with them, got lice,and hiked a lot.
It wasn't until the end of herjourney, where she ended up in
Ireland, that she reached to Godagain.
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After seven days of meditating,asking the question, What do you
want me to do?
She received an answer.
Walk in the path ofrighteousness, for my name's
sake.
Again, she didn't completelyunderstand what that meant.
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And she didn't even know untilyears later that those very
words were from the 23rd Psalm.
Because she had never read theBible.
My mother decided to return backto the States and moved back to
Oklahoma where her parents wereliving but decided to stay in a
church that literally preachedmarijuana.
(16:08):
One day when she went to visither parents, her mother said, a
man called for you.
My mother asked, well, what didhe say?
He left a message and it was, wewant you back.
My mom immediately flew to NewMexico.
And the first thing she askedher friend that picked her up at
the airport was if this man wasstill in a relationship.
(16:34):
And he was not funny enough.
My mother read people'sfortunes, she read face cards
and tarot cards, and one of thefirst nights that she was back,
she decided to read my father'scards, his fortune, and she
said, Robert, You're going to goinsane, you're going to get
married, and then you're goingto have happiness.
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Who are you going to marry?
Someone yelled out, you shouldmarry Ruth! Yeah, you should
marry me! And then theconversation ended.
The next day, they were workingon the roof, and she turned to
my dad and said, Robert, who areyou going to marry?
To which he replied, you knowI'm going to marry you.
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They were married in Oklahoma.
Two weeks later, unfortunately,the beginning of their married
relationship was not weddedbliss.
It was very difficult gettingalong with some of the other
hippies living in the communeand it became a big stress on
their marriage.
My dad and his friends would goout and get drunk every single
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Thursday night together.
Harder and harder drugs weremaking their way into the
commune.
There were some Christianfriends that tried to reach out
to them.
They would go picnic in themountains together.
They would talk to my parentsabout Christ and my mom would
talk to them about how awesomeLSD was.
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It wasn't too long, though,before my mom found out she was
pregnant with their first child.
And miraculously, that wasenough motivation for my mom to
completely stop taking drugs.
It was when my oldest brotherwas 18 months old and my mom was
pregnant with her second childthat that fancy black sedan
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drove up their drive.
The story goes that those hometeachers didn't have anyone to
home teach.
The branch president had takenaway their assignment and given
it to someone else because theywere not good at doing their
home teaching.
In remorse, they went to thebranch president and begged him
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to please give them a family toteach.
He agreed and told them he knewjust the family, my parents.
when they showed up at thecommune, my mom was pretty
confused because my dad hadnever spoken about religion.
She had no idea he had ever beenbaptized into any type of faith.
(19:14):
But what she did realize is thatthese men carried the spirit
with them.
Christ had taught her what itfelt like.
And she knew that these men weremen of God.
She loved having them come tovisit and teach.
(19:35):
She was so in tune with thingsof a spiritual nature, that when
my mom and dad would leave to gosomewhere, and the home teachers
would miss them, On their drivehome, my mother would tell my
dad the home teachers have beenhere.
And sure enough, there was anote left behind that they had
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stopped to visit.
She also could sense when theywere coming, and would tell my
dad.
They were good and kind.
They brought her organicgardening books and tried to get
to know what her interests were.
When they taught her about theWord of Wisdom, she decided to
stop drinking coffee, but had noidea what it meant to be a
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member of the church.
My dad observed my mom movingtowards God and understood it
better than she did in someways.
Her desire for God increased hisdesire, and he decided to stop
smoking.
But all he said about these menvisiting and this faith was, I
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don't know, But I think there'ssomething to that Book of
Mormon.
Those home teachers comingaround is what made my parents
realize that change was needed.
They realized that if theystayed in that commune, they
would succumb to those heavierdrugs.
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They knew they needed to leaveto get away from drugs and a
toxic atmosphere.
My mom knew that if they stayed,that there was a good chance
their children would be takenfrom them.
They decided their best optionwas Vale, Oregon.
A small town where half of theresidents were my mother's
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relatives.
And the other half, they soonlearned, were members of the
Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints.
When they moved there, my dadgot his journeyman license to
become an electrician.
And, yes, my dad was anelectrician, and I grew up in a
home with no electricity.
We will talk about that infuture episodes.
(21:56):
He got a job with an electricalcompany and his assistant, sure
enough, was a member of thechurch.
My dad recognized this and everytime they would pass a church,
he would make a little offhanded comment about the church
to get a reaction out of him.
And finally he admitted, Hey,I'm a member of your church.
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As soon as his assistant foundthis out, he invited him to come
back to church.
And so my dad went, and my momwent to the laundromat.
One day when my dad got homefrom church, he said, I loved
hearing those words again.
The moment he said that, thewords"spiritual unity" were
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spoken to my mother's mind, andshe knew that was the key to
strengthening their marriage.
My father continued going tochurch and re read the story of
the first vision, and rememberedthat sweet testimony he had
received as a 16 year old.
Once he went back to church.
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It was an overnight change.
He stopped drinking andMiraculously never needed
outside help to overcome hisaddictions One day, my dad asked
my mom if his friends could cometeach her about the church.
She recalled that when theycame, they were the most humble
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men she had ever met in herlife.
They were so kind that she knewthey were men of God, and it
made her very willing to listen.
After meeting with them for thefirst time, she decided she
would read the Book of Mormon.
She read the Book of Mormon, theDoctrine and Covenants, and the
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Pearl of Great Price in fourdays and says she didn't even
need to kneel down and ask if itwas true.
She knew., It was a full circlemoment for her when she read in
Moroni 7:47, but charity is thepure love of Christ.
(24:12):
She finally understood thosewords that were spoken to her
heart and mind years earlier.
Their friends came to teach herthe gospel every other night.
But as surely as Christ wasreaching, the adversary was
reaching too.
It became clear to her that evilwas real.
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And, if she joined the church,she would be protected from it.
The first time she walked into achapel, she noticed all the
stair step families, and alwayswanting a large family herself,
she felt right at home.
But there was one thing shewasn't sure about.
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As the mission presidentinterviewed her before her
baptism, he asked if shebelieved, that Joseph Smith was
a prophet of God.
She looked at him, smiled, andlied, and said that she did.
The mission president, wise anddiscerning, could tell that she
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didn't have a testimony of thatthing, but promised her that if
she kept her baptismalcovenants, She would know that
he was a prophet.
Just a few weeks after, shereceived a witness that Joseph
Smith was a prophet of God whilereading the Book of Mormon.
And that night, she was wokenthree times by the Spirit
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speaking the words Joseph Smithwas a prophet of God.
After her baptism, both of myparents received their
patriarchal blessings.
And my dad was absolutelythrilled that God wanted him and
had a work for him.
And they were both committed toserving God for the rest of
their lives.
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But soon after, my parents got adevastating call late at night
from New Mexico.
My father's best friends, whohad gone out on their
traditional Thursday night toget drunk, were involved in a
car accident, and everyone inthe car was killed.
(26:24):
My parents knew in that instantthat had they stayed my father
would have been in that car.
It was devastating to them tolose such dear friends and in
search for comfort my dad wantedto return to New Mexico to be
near his family.
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My mom agreed as they bothpromised each other that they
would attend church every singleSunday.
They moved back, but they hadsold their freeform house and so
bought another small house rightacross the ditch from the
commune.
They still had their hippiefriends, but everyone was a bit
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standoffish because they wereworried that my parents had
become narcs.
And honestly, the death ofeveryone's friends had really
rattled the commune and everyonekind of started going their
separate ways.
My parents were immediatelydrawn in by the faithful members
of the local branch of theirchurch, and they never looked
(27:31):
back.
Though the home teachers thathad so faithfully taught them
had moved, so they never knewthe fruits of what they had
done.
Though there is a miraculousstory that happened over 30
years later that I'll have toshare with you sometime.
One year later, my dad receivedthe Melchizedek priesthood and
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started temple prep, and 18months after my mom was baptized
and pregnant with her thirdchild, they were sealed in the
Mesa, Arizona temple for timeand all eternity.
Their fourth child, me, wouldcome two years later.
My parents ended up living abeautiful life devoted to
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Christ.
They had five children andadopted eight more.
My dad always expressed histestimony to me of that first
time returning to church.
He would say, Amber, I knew whatit was like to live life
completely devoid of the spirit.
And when I walked back into thatchurch building, I remembered
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the sweetness of the spirit, howit felt, and I never wanted to
live without that again.
And he didn't.
I love how the good things aboutmy dad's hippie life never left
him.
He never put value in materialthings and was always seeking to
(29:05):
share.
Though we left the commune, ourliving circumstances were always
simple.
Living in a home that had noplumbing for a time, and no
electricity for most of my life.
For how those home teacherschanged his life, he was the
most devoted, diligent hometeacher I have ever witnessed.
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Everyone he home taught, evenfamilies from over 30 years ago,
our family still has a specialbond with because he truly
treated them like his brothersand sisters.
He loved the Book of Mormon forwhat it taught him about Jesus
Christ and how it gave himstrength to change.
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his testimony can especially befound in how he spent the last
years of his life.
He spent his time taking copiesof the Book of Mormon and
covering it with leather andcreating beautiful designs.
He wanted the outside of thisbeautiful book to portray the
(30:15):
beauty that was inside.
And then he would take them andgive them to Anyone and
everyone.
He always said if the end resultis that one out of a thousand
people accept the gospel ofChrist, praise be to our God.
He said, It is my testimony toyou that the key of our
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salvation is in the fine print.
Love each other.
Measure to others what we wishto be measured to us.
How we treat the least ofhumanity is a measure of what we
really are.
God loves all his creation.
Not just you.
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If money and things are ofgreater worth to you than your
neighbor, you are in need ofsome fine tuning Oh yes, and a
side note about that heartsurgeon that gave my dad and his
parents a tour of Temple Square.
Years later, when my dadrealized a heart surgeon was
(31:22):
serving as an apostle for thechurch, he wrote him a letter
and asked him if that would havebeen him who gave his family
that tour, to which he replied,yes, it was him.
And that heart surgeon is nowserving as our current prophet,
President Russell M.
Nelson.
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for my mother.
What she loves about herparticular journey is that she
didn't learn about Christ fromall the differing opinions out
there.
She learned about him throughthe pureness of his diligent
reaching to her.
He taught her who he was beforeshe ever even understood
(32:07):
religion.
Through very personalexperiences with him that she
can't adequately verbalize.
It is very evident that Hebrought her to Him, therefore
she has always had completetrust.
And because that was thefoundation of her knowledge,
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when incredibly difficult trialscame, she knew she could trust.
When questions came that shedidn't understand, she knew
Christ would give understandingsomewhere inside her.
She said to me, I knew Christfirst, and because I knew Him, I
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was able to recognize his gospelwhen I saw it.
His hand was stretched out toher when she wasn't living a
life people would consider holy.
And she knows his hand isstretched out still as she
continues to seek him today.
The most important lesson I'velearned from my parents
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experience is that Christreaches our reaching.
Yes, we have to qualify for agreater portion of the Holy
Spirit to reside in us at alltimes.
And that is an absolutelybeautiful and powerful thing.
But no amount of darkness orevil can resist the power of the
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Holy Spirit.
Nothing can prevent it fromentering the most unholy places.
The power of evil cannot compareto the power of God.
God reaches his children in anycircumstance, in any way
necessary.
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Nothing stronger than his arm.
He is reaching to you, hischild.
Reach back.
We all need rescuing fromsomething.
What is your reaching?
Elder Dieter F.
Uchtdorf said, Because He lovesyou, He will find you.
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While our loving Father desiresthat all of His children return
to Him, He will force no one toheaven.
God will not rescue us againstour will.
So what must we do?
The invitation is simple.
Turn to Me.
Come to Me.
Draw near unto Me, and I willdraw near unto you.
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This is how we show Him that wewant to be rescued.
close quote, as you consistentlylisten to this podcast, you'll
notice.
Two things.
First, I love to offerquestions.
I do it because asking questionsis what has absolutely changed
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my relationship with my savior.
Number two, each episode willalways focus on a characteristic
of Christ.
Why?
Well, I'll repeat what I triedto testify of in my first
episode.
Coming to truly know JesusChrist can do what all other
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self help resources offer, butit can do it even better.
So the question I'd love toshare with you that you can
perhaps ask God, if you feel soinclined, is to ask for eyes to
see how Christ has reached andis currently reaching in your
(35:53):
life.
Ask what you need rescuing fromthat maybe you don't even
recognize.
I can promise the same wordsthat are spoken in the hymn
Where Can I Turn for Peace.
He answers privately, reaches myreaching, in my Gethsemane,
(36:13):
Savior and friend, gentle thepeace he finds for my
beseeching, constant he is andkind, love without end.
Christ is reaching.
Christ is reaching.
Is hope smiling brightly.
(36:36):
Tune in next week as I sharestories from my unique
upbringing and what they taughtme about Christ.?
A little warning before we start this episode of the
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podcast, this story containsmentions of drug use and may be
a sensitive subject for some.
I'll be sharing a story of myparents experience in leaving a
life of substance abuse behindand finding Christ.
Their journey is unique to them,and I understand that everyone's
(00:24):
story and views may not be thesame.
No one person or story is betterthan the other, but just
different.
I have a feeling you'll bewanting to see some pictures of
some of the cool things that Imention in this story.
So check out the show notes fora link to where you can view
(00:44):
those pictures.
Shall we move on?
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produce this podcast, but itwouldn't be possible without
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(01:08):
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(01:35):
You are listening to episodethree of the Hope Smiling
Brightly podcast, from LSD toLDS, how my parents found Christ
in the middle of a hippiecommune.
President Russell M.
Nelson said.
"As you think celestial, youwill find yourself avoiding
(01:57):
anything that robs you ofagency.
Any addiction, be it gaming,gambling, debt, drugs, alcohol,
anger, pornography, sex, or evenfood, offends god.
Why?
Because your obsession becomesyour God.
(02:20):
You look to it rather than tohim for solace.
If you struggle with anaddiction, seek the spiritual
and professional help you need.
Please do not let an obsessionrob you of your freedom to
follow God's fabulous plan closequote this quote made me think
(02:45):
of Lyrics from a hymn I love tosing where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace when othersources cease to make me whole?
He answers privately reaches myreaching.
(03:08):
This is a story of two of God'schildren who were seeking
solace, but did not know whereto find it.
A story that teaches that nomatter your circumstances or
choices, Christ is reaching.
Whether you can barely think toreach.
(03:29):
Or you are reaching with all ofyour might.
His hand is stretched out still.
The nicest mode oftransportation in the hippie
commune was my dad's dump truck.
So, my mom knew something wasodd when a beautiful black sedan
(03:50):
came up the drive and parked infront of their free form hippie
home.
Others in the commune stoppedand watched, but only for a
moment.
Because when two men in blacksuits got out of a car, everyone
scattered in fear, sure it wasthe FBI coming for a drug bust.
(04:12):
Two people stayed in place.
My mom and my dad.
My mom didn't move because shewas curious why my dad was
smiling and had no fear thatothers displayed.
My dad didn't move because heknew exactly who these men were.
(04:36):
There was no mistaking the lightin their countenance, the smile
in their eyes.
He knew they were members of theChurch of Jesus Christ of Latter
day Saints, not the FBI.
My father's parents believed inGod.
His mother went from church tochurch to church trying to find
(04:58):
some place that felt like homewithout much success.
It wasn't until they decided totake a road trip across the
country that they learned abouta faith that would change their
lives.
They had decided that they weretired of living in a cloudy
state and wanted to find a statewith more sunshine.
(05:21):
So they were visiting differentplaces across the United States.
To try and figure out where theywanted to live and in their
travels ended up in Salt LakeCity, Utah, my dad's father
immediately crossed Utah off hislist when he realized it was
(05:41):
harder to find a nice cold beerto drink than normal.
And he was completely aghastwhen he went to a cafe to get
his morning cup of coffee andall they served was Postum.
Definitely not for him.
But before they left, my dad'smother really wanted to visit
(06:02):
the historic Temple Square.
She knew nothing of the Churchof Jesus Christ of Latter day
Saints, but she was curious whatthis place was all about.
They agreed to join a tour beingled by a kind, middle aged man.
During the tour, they learnedthat their tour guide was a
(06:25):
heart surgeon and he volunteeredone day a week, giving tours at
temple square that astounded mygrandmother, that someone that
held a occupation as prestigiousas heart surgeon would give up
that money to serve in such away every single week it
(06:50):
impressed her so much that shewanted to learn more.
What was it about this faiththat would cause this man to
make such a sacrifice?
It took a few years, but theywere able to learn more.
They decided to move to thesunny state of New Mexico, and
one day, my dad heard a knock onthe door.
(07:12):
It was two sister missionaries,asking him if they could tell
him something, to which heresponded, You too can tell me
anything you want.
He welcomed these two cute youngladies in and they taught him
and the whole family, thegospel.
My grandmother was incrediblyreceptive because of the
experience that she had and theyall were quickly baptized.
(07:39):
My father was 16 at the time, sograduated soon after, joined the
army straight out of highschool, and church was no longer
on his mind.
He began drinking and smoking inthe army, and thankfully was
sent to Germany instead ofVietnam.
After his service, he moved backto New Mexico, but decided to
(08:02):
live in a commune in northernNew Mexico.
But the locals didn't like thehippies squatting on their land,
so they got pushed out.
My dad decided that he wouldtake an inheritance he got from
his grandfather and purchasesome land right outside
Albuquerque, New Mexico.
That became the hippie commune.
(08:22):
At first, it just consisted of acamper, some tents, and friends,
many of whom were felons.
He spent his time building afree form artistic home with his
best friend.
To earn money, he purchased adump truck and hauled trash and
(08:43):
cut and sold firewood.
One day, he was deliveringfirewood to a family that he
recognized from when he joinedthe church.
But that family didn't recognizehim, with his long hair and long
beard.
But he also recognized the joyand the love that was in that
home and it sparked a seed ofdesire.
(09:07):
He wanted that kind of lifesomehow, but he just did not
know how to find it.
Little did he know his life wasabout to change.
He was driving home and passedhis best friend in a car.
They both slowed down and hebacked up his dump truck, leaned
out the window.
(09:29):
And asked, got a match?
What he couldn't see is thatthere was a woman sitting in the
back of that car watching andwhen she saw my dad lean outta
that dump truck in an instant,she knew that would be the man
she would spend the rest of herlife with.
(09:52):
That woman was my mom, mymother.
was raised by a mother who wasagnostic.
She always said, when I die,I'll keep my eyes open, but
religion was not a part of herlife.
Her father was a well educatedand well known pediatrician, a
(10:13):
good man, but also an atheist.
Religion was never a part of herupbringing.
She vaguely remembers gettingdressed up to go to an Easter
service one time.
What is interesting is that eventhough she was never taught
about God, she often foundherself talking to God.
(10:38):
She felt a surprising personalcloseness, especially when
making a mistake, because shewas always so upset with him for
not stopping her from makingthat mistake.
She spent her high school yearsat a boarding school and was a
really good girl as a teenager.
Still, the only things she knewabout Christ was a few things a
(11:01):
Catholic boyfriend told her.
Besides that, she didn't knowmuch.
After high school, she went tocollege on the East Coast to
major in art, and there wasintroduced to drugs.
She had a more powerfulexperience when she took drugs
than was typical of her friends.
(11:23):
As she tried different drugs,she found that hallucinogens
were her favorite.
And in some ways was moreaddicted to the hallucinations
than she was to the drug.
She went to study abroad programin Denmark and tried even
heavier drugs there.
When she came back to theStates, she did all the typical
(11:43):
hippie things.
Yes, she went to Woodstock andremembers having to park 13
miles away and walk to getthere.
She remembers feeling the groundvibrate the closer she got from
the massive amount of people andthe sound.
Beyond that, she doesn'tremember much.
And if anyone else who has beento Woodstock claims to remember
(12:07):
more, they're probably lying.
Because most people were justhigh the whole time.
My mom at some point decided toquit college and move to New
York City, where she did most ofher drug use.
She would dance down the streetsof New York City and play her
castanets.
No, she wasn't high when she didthat.
(12:29):
She just did it for fun, butspent most of her time tripping
in Central Park and wasincredibly grateful that she was
somehow able to avoid anythingterrible happening to her as a
beautiful young 20 year oldwoman hanging out alone in
Central Park.
Her Best friend and roommatedecided to move from New York
(12:52):
City to New Mexico, and so shedecided to go along with her.
It was while she was looking fora place to live that she saw my
dad leaning out of that dumptruck.
And when the living situation inNew Mexico didn't pan out, She
decided to join the hippiecommune with my dad.
(13:12):
By that time, the Freeform househad taken shape, so people could
either stay in tents or stay inone of the rooms in the Freeform
house that was literally madeout of scraps from a lumber
yard, she became good friendswith my dad at that point
because he was in arelationship.
My mom began to realize trulyhow miserable she was taking
(13:39):
hallucinogens had made her moreparanoid and anxious.
She didn't understand why shewas here.
She didn't understand what herpurpose was.
And so she decided to ask God.
And this is where the reachingstarted.
(14:00):
Even though she wasn't living agreat life, she reached to God
and asked, why am I here?
And she was surprised at theanswer.
The words came, You are here tolearn charity.
Oh great, she thought.
(14:20):
I give my stuff away all thetime.
That's charity, right?
But she didn't understand thecharity he was talking about.
God continued reaching to her inunique and personal ways,
whether she was able to see across within the shape of a
landscape or hear words fromscripture that she had never
(14:42):
read.
She recognized that he wastrying to teach her about him.
Being so miserable in thecommune, she decided to use an
inheritance from her grandfatherto hitchhike across Europe by
herself, much to her parentsworry.
(15:02):
Over three months, she foundboyfriends, stayed in hostels,
met people who were heading inthe same direction and
hitchhiked with them, got lice,and hiked a lot.
It wasn't until the end of herjourney, where she ended up in
Ireland, that she reached to Godagain.
(15:25):
After seven days of meditating,asking the question, What do you
want me to do?
She received an answer.
Walk in the path ofrighteousness, for my name's
sake.
Again, she didn't completelyunderstand what that meant.
(15:45):
And she didn't even know untilyears later that those very
words were from the 23rd Psalm.
Because she had never read theBible.
My mother decided to return backto the States and moved back to
Oklahoma where her parents wereliving but decided to stay in a
church that literally preachedmarijuana.
(16:08):
One day when she went to visither parents, her mother said, a
man called for you.
My mother asked, well, what didhe say?
He left a message and it was, wewant you back.
My mom immediately flew to NewMexico.
And the first thing she askedher friend that picked her up at
the airport was if this man wasstill in a relationship.
(16:34):
And he was not funny enough.
My mother read people'sfortunes, she read face cards
and tarot cards, and one of thefirst nights that she was back,
she decided to read my father'scards, his fortune, and she
said, Robert, You're going to goinsane, you're going to get
married, and then you're goingto have happiness.
(16:58):
Who are you going to marry?
Someone yelled out, you shouldmarry Ruth! Yeah, you should
marry me! And then theconversation ended.
The next day, they were workingon the roof, and she turned to
my dad and said, Robert, who areyou going to marry?
To which he replied, you knowI'm going to marry you.
(17:21):
They were married in Oklahoma.
Two weeks later, unfortunately,the beginning of their married
relationship was not weddedbliss.
It was very difficult gettingalong with some of the other
hippies living in the communeand it became a big stress on
their marriage.
My dad and his friends would goout and get drunk every single
(17:45):
Thursday night together.
Harder and harder drugs weremaking their way into the
commune.
There were some Christianfriends that tried to reach out
to them.
They would go picnic in themountains together.
They would talk to my parentsabout Christ and my mom would
talk to them about how awesomeLSD was.
(18:07):
It wasn't too long, though,before my mom found out she was
pregnant with their first child.
And miraculously, that wasenough motivation for my mom to
completely stop taking drugs.
It was when my oldest brotherwas 18 months old and my mom was
pregnant with her second childthat that fancy black sedan
(18:27):
drove up their drive.
The story goes that those hometeachers didn't have anyone to
home teach.
The branch president had takenaway their assignment and given
it to someone else because theywere not good at doing their
home teaching.
In remorse, they went to thebranch president and begged him
(18:48):
to please give them a family toteach.
He agreed and told them he knewjust the family, my parents.
when they showed up at thecommune, my mom was pretty
confused because my dad hadnever spoken about religion.
She had no idea he had ever beenbaptized into any type of faith.
(19:14):
But what she did realize is thatthese men carried the spirit
with them.
Christ had taught her what itfelt like.
And she knew that these men weremen of God.
She loved having them come tovisit and teach.
(19:35):
She was so in tune with thingsof a spiritual nature, that when
my mom and dad would leave to gosomewhere, and the home teachers
would miss them, On their drivehome, my mother would tell my
dad the home teachers have beenhere.
And sure enough, there was anote left behind that they had
(19:57):
stopped to visit.
She also could sense when theywere coming, and would tell my
dad.
They were good and kind.
They brought her organicgardening books and tried to get
to know what her interests were.
When they taught her about theWord of Wisdom, she decided to
stop drinking coffee, but had noidea what it meant to be a
(20:21):
member of the church.
My dad observed my mom movingtowards God and understood it
better than she did in someways.
Her desire for God increased hisdesire, and he decided to stop
smoking.
But all he said about these menvisiting and this faith was, I
(20:46):
don't know, But I think there'ssomething to that Book of
Mormon.
Those home teachers comingaround is what made my parents
realize that change was needed.
They realized that if theystayed in that commune, they
would succumb to those heavierdrugs.
(21:09):
They knew they needed to leaveto get away from drugs and a
toxic atmosphere.
My mom knew that if they stayed,that there was a good chance
their children would be takenfrom them.
They decided their best optionwas Vale, Oregon.
A small town where half of theresidents were my mother's
(21:32):
relatives.
And the other half, they soonlearned, were members of the
Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints.
When they moved there, my dadgot his journeyman license to
become an electrician.
And, yes, my dad was anelectrician, and I grew up in a
home with no electricity.
We will talk about that infuture episodes.
(21:56):
He got a job with an electricalcompany and his assistant, sure
enough, was a member of thechurch.
My dad recognized this and everytime they would pass a church,
he would make a little offhanded comment about the church
to get a reaction out of him.
And finally he admitted, Hey,I'm a member of your church.
(22:22):
As soon as his assistant foundthis out, he invited him to come
back to church.
And so my dad went, and my momwent to the laundromat.
One day when my dad got homefrom church, he said, I loved
hearing those words again.
The moment he said that, thewords"spiritual unity" were
(22:47):
spoken to my mother's mind, andshe knew that was the key to
strengthening their marriage.
My father continued going tochurch and re read the story of
the first vision, and rememberedthat sweet testimony he had
received as a 16 year old.
Once he went back to church.
(23:07):
It was an overnight change.
He stopped drinking andMiraculously never needed
outside help to overcome hisaddictions One day, my dad asked
my mom if his friends could cometeach her about the church.
She recalled that when theycame, they were the most humble
(23:29):
men she had ever met in herlife.
They were so kind that she knewthey were men of God, and it
made her very willing to listen.
After meeting with them for thefirst time, she decided she
would read the Book of Mormon.
She read the Book of Mormon, theDoctrine and Covenants, and the
(23:50):
Pearl of Great Price in fourdays and says she didn't even
need to kneel down and ask if itwas true.
She knew., It was a full circlemoment for her when she read in
Moroni 7:47, but charity is thepure love of Christ.
(24:12):
She finally understood thosewords that were spoken to her
heart and mind years earlier.
Their friends came to teach herthe gospel every other night.
But as surely as Christ wasreaching, the adversary was
reaching too.
It became clear to her that evilwas real.
(24:32):
And, if she joined the church,she would be protected from it.
The first time she walked into achapel, she noticed all the
stair step families, and alwayswanting a large family herself,
she felt right at home.
But there was one thing shewasn't sure about.
(24:56):
As the mission presidentinterviewed her before her
baptism, he asked if shebelieved, that Joseph Smith was
a prophet of God.
She looked at him, smiled, andlied, and said that she did.
The mission president, wise anddiscerning, could tell that she
(25:17):
didn't have a testimony of thatthing, but promised her that if
she kept her baptismalcovenants, She would know that
he was a prophet.
Just a few weeks after, shereceived a witness that Joseph
Smith was a prophet of God whilereading the Book of Mormon.
And that night, she was wokenthree times by the Spirit
(25:40):
speaking the words Joseph Smithwas a prophet of God.
After her baptism, both of myparents received their
patriarchal blessings.
And my dad was absolutelythrilled that God wanted him and
had a work for him.
And they were both committed toserving God for the rest of
their lives.
(26:01):
But soon after, my parents got adevastating call late at night
from New Mexico.
My father's best friends, whohad gone out on their
traditional Thursday night toget drunk, were involved in a
car accident, and everyone inthe car was killed.
(26:24):
My parents knew in that instantthat had they stayed my father
would have been in that car.
It was devastating to them tolose such dear friends and in
search for comfort my dad wantedto return to New Mexico to be
near his family.
(26:46):
My mom agreed as they bothpromised each other that they
would attend church every singleSunday.
They moved back, but they hadsold their freeform house and so
bought another small house rightacross the ditch from the
commune.
They still had their hippiefriends, but everyone was a bit
(27:08):
standoffish because they wereworried that my parents had
become narcs.
And honestly, the death ofeveryone's friends had really
rattled the commune and everyonekind of started going their
separate ways.
My parents were immediatelydrawn in by the faithful members
of the local branch of theirchurch, and they never looked
(27:31):
back.
Though the home teachers thathad so faithfully taught them
had moved, so they never knewthe fruits of what they had
done.
Though there is a miraculousstory that happened over 30
years later that I'll have toshare with you sometime.
One year later, my dad receivedthe Melchizedek priesthood and
(27:53):
started temple prep, and 18months after my mom was baptized
and pregnant with her thirdchild, they were sealed in the
Mesa, Arizona temple for timeand all eternity.
Their fourth child, me, wouldcome two years later.
My parents ended up living abeautiful life devoted to
(28:17):
Christ.
They had five children andadopted eight more.
My dad always expressed histestimony to me of that first
time returning to church.
He would say, Amber, I knew whatit was like to live life
completely devoid of the spirit.
And when I walked back into thatchurch building, I remembered
(28:43):
the sweetness of the spirit, howit felt, and I never wanted to
live without that again.
And he didn't.
I love how the good things aboutmy dad's hippie life never left
him.
He never put value in materialthings and was always seeking to
(29:05):
share.
Though we left the commune, ourliving circumstances were always
simple.
Living in a home that had noplumbing for a time, and no
electricity for most of my life.
For how those home teacherschanged his life, he was the
most devoted, diligent hometeacher I have ever witnessed.
(29:29):
Everyone he home taught, evenfamilies from over 30 years ago,
our family still has a specialbond with because he truly
treated them like his brothersand sisters.
He loved the Book of Mormon forwhat it taught him about Jesus
Christ and how it gave himstrength to change.
(29:51):
his testimony can especially befound in how he spent the last
years of his life.
He spent his time taking copiesof the Book of Mormon and
covering it with leather andcreating beautiful designs.
He wanted the outside of thisbeautiful book to portray the
(30:15):
beauty that was inside.
And then he would take them andgive them to Anyone and
everyone.
He always said if the end resultis that one out of a thousand
people accept the gospel ofChrist, praise be to our God.
He said, It is my testimony toyou that the key of our
(30:39):
salvation is in the fine print.
Love each other.
Measure to others what we wishto be measured to us.
How we treat the least ofhumanity is a measure of what we
really are.
God loves all his creation.
Not just you.
(31:00):
If money and things are ofgreater worth to you than your
neighbor, you are in need ofsome fine tuning Oh yes, and a
side note about that heartsurgeon that gave my dad and his
parents a tour of Temple Square.
Years later, when my dadrealized a heart surgeon was
(31:22):
serving as an apostle for thechurch, he wrote him a letter
and asked him if that would havebeen him who gave his family
that tour, to which he replied,yes, it was him.
And that heart surgeon is nowserving as our current prophet,
President Russell M.
Nelson.
(31:45):
for my mother.
What she loves about herparticular journey is that she
didn't learn about Christ fromall the differing opinions out
there.
She learned about him throughthe pureness of his diligent
reaching to her.
He taught her who he was beforeshe ever even understood
(32:07):
religion.
Through very personalexperiences with him that she
can't adequately verbalize.
It is very evident that Hebrought her to Him, therefore
she has always had completetrust.
And because that was thefoundation of her knowledge,
(32:27):
when incredibly difficult trialscame, she knew she could trust.
When questions came that shedidn't understand, she knew
Christ would give understandingsomewhere inside her.
She said to me, I knew Christfirst, and because I knew Him, I
(32:50):
was able to recognize his gospelwhen I saw it.
His hand was stretched out toher when she wasn't living a
life people would consider holy.
And she knows his hand isstretched out still as she
continues to seek him today.
The most important lesson I'velearned from my parents
(33:13):
experience is that Christreaches our reaching.
Yes, we have to qualify for agreater portion of the Holy
Spirit to reside in us at alltimes.
And that is an absolutelybeautiful and powerful thing.
But no amount of darkness orevil can resist the power of the
(33:38):
Holy Spirit.
Nothing can prevent it fromentering the most unholy places.
The power of evil cannot compareto the power of God.
God reaches his children in anycircumstance, in any way
necessary.
(33:58):
Nothing stronger than his arm.
He is reaching to you, hischild.
Reach back.
We all need rescuing fromsomething.
What is your reaching?
Elder Dieter F.
Uchtdorf said, Because He lovesyou, He will find you.
(34:26):
While our loving Father desiresthat all of His children return
to Him, He will force no one toheaven.
God will not rescue us againstour will.
So what must we do?
The invitation is simple.
Turn to Me.
Come to Me.
Draw near unto Me, and I willdraw near unto you.
(34:48):
This is how we show Him that wewant to be rescued.
close quote, as you consistentlylisten to this podcast, you'll
notice.
Two things.
First, I love to offerquestions.
I do it because asking questionsis what has absolutely changed
(35:09):
my relationship with my savior.
Number two, each episode willalways focus on a characteristic
of Christ.
Why?
Well, I'll repeat what I triedto testify of in my first
episode.
Coming to truly know JesusChrist can do what all other
(35:31):
self help resources offer, butit can do it even better.
So the question I'd love toshare with you that you can
perhaps ask God, if you feel soinclined, is to ask for eyes to
see how Christ has reached andis currently reaching in your
(35:53):
life.
Ask what you need rescuing fromthat maybe you don't even
recognize.
I can promise the same wordsthat are spoken in the hymn
Where Can I Turn for Peace.
He answers privately, reaches myreaching, in my Gethsemane,
(36:13):
Savior and friend, gentle thepeace he finds for my
beseeching, constant he is andkind, love without end.
Christ is reaching.
Christ is reaching.
Is hope smiling brightly.
(36:36):
Tune in next week as I sharestories from my unique
upbringing and what they taughtme about Christ.?
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