From Pain to Purpose: How Tammy Ryder-Harms Is Transforming Teen Lives with Kaleidoscope Teens

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast.
I'm your host, kristen Kurtz,and I'm also the founder of New
Wings Coaching.
I help and empower wildheartedand adventurous women of faith
feeling caged and stuck, unlocktheir true purpose and potential
, break free from limitationsand thrive with confidence,
courage and hope.
If you're curious to learn moreabout coaching with me, head to
newwingscoachingnet and be sureto explore the show notes for

(00:38):
ways to connect with me further.
Get ready to dive in as weuncover empowering keys and
insights in this episode.
So tune in and let's unlockhope together.
Welcome to the Hope Unlockedpodcast.
I'm Kristen Kurtz, your host.
I pray this episode is like aholy ivy of hope for your soul.
Please help me.
Welcome Tammy Ryder-Hirms to theshow.
So excited to have her heretoday.

(00:59):
We are actually new and fastfriends.
Who is a connection throughElisa Rabin-Bell are actually
new and fast friends.
Who is a connection throughElisa Rabin-Bell, who I had the
privilege of also interviewing,and she's episode 143 if you
want to go check her out.
But so, so exciting to meetpeople who are actually local
and happen to live in the townright west of you.

(01:19):
So, tammy, would love for youto just share a little bit about
yourself before we get intoyour story.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
Well, hello, I am so grateful to be here and, yes, we
are fast friends.
I am so grateful that I sawthat you did a podcast with
Elisa and I love the work thatyou're doing with New Wings
Coaching and your podcast, andso I just feel super honored and
blessed to be here with you andjust really blessed to share

(01:50):
where the Lord has led me,because it, you know, I mean
life is a journey and you knowit took, you know it took a
while for me to figure out whatI was meant for.
I mean, I know I was born onpurpose and with a purpose and I

(02:10):
knew that the things that hehad me walking through in my
life was sharpening my sword andpreparing me for something, and
he was teaching me patiencebecause I didn't know exactly
what it was going to be.
So I often liken it to likeputting down puzzle pieces.
And and you don't, the Lordsets down puzzle pieces very

(02:34):
slowly, one at a time, and youdon't really have the whole
picture, like you don't it's?
It's like doing a puzzlewithout having the picture as
the key.
I know it's crazy.

(02:55):
So I'm like, okay, lord, you'reteaching me patience.
So, um, I am from California, Ilive in Minnesota.
I've got two girls are 21 and25, and I've got two bonus
children as well.
One's 25 and one will be 30 inAugust.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
They are.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Anna and Ella and Steven and Alex and my husband
John.
We live in Eden Prairie,minnesota, and, yeah, I can go
into what I do with KaleidoscopeTeens and what led me there, if
you'd like me to.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
I would love to hear and I do want to back up for
just a second when you said youknow the Lord is teaching you
patience.
I don't know if you did what Idid and said you know like
patience is challenging, I wouldsay, for many people, and
sometimes when we ask forsomething like Lord, can you

(03:49):
teach me patience, you get tohave some training ground in
that.
So did you have some examplesof being trained in patience?

Speaker 2 (04:08):
patience.
I mean, yeah, it's like, hurryup, give me patience now.
And I think people fail torealize sometimes that, like, in
order to gain patience, youhave to go through things that
are going to test your patienceyou know, and and some of it's,
some of it's really hard.
Like you know, my, my children,have had really a lot of
difficulty with anxiety anddepression and suicidal ideation

(04:32):
, and I was I mean, luckily theyhad me as an engaged parent who
has good insurance and canafford the co-pays and I'm
actively involved and I'm tryingto find the solutions and I'm
praying to him and I'm tellingthem to pray to him and I'm, you
know, trying to find the rightcounselor or the right program

(04:53):
or the right therapy.
And and and I'm, you know, likewhen someone wants to die, like
like there's no time, like youjust feel like there's no time,
like you just feel like there'sno time, like like I need the
answer and I need it now.
And I would tell my daughterI'm praying for you and she
would say, well, I prayed too,but I feel like, like he didn't

(05:15):
listen, like why would he leaveme in this space if I prayed to
him and asked him?
So that's a whole notherconversation.
You know, I think childrencan't wrap him.
So that's a whole notherconversation.
You know, I think childrencan't wrap their brain around
that, much less adults.
But you know you pray foranswers of why you are where you

(05:39):
are, why your kids?

Speaker 1 (05:40):
are going through what they're going through.
I don't know that.
I mean that must be sochallenging as a parent, and
even you know, I've had asituation with one of my
children that you know he had anaccident and I was praying and
you know the miracle that we'relooking for wasn't, you know,
the culmination.
And you know you can question,like well, why, like, why didn't

(06:01):
you answer my prayer?
Why, like, why didn't youanswer my prayer?
And I think that's one of themost challenging things in this
walk at times is there's oftenan answer that we'll know later,
but you can kind of look backon some of these times and see
where his hand was on it.
You just couldn't see it at thetime when you were walking
through the fire, right,Absolutely and I love.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
Like something that my mom told me too is you know.
She said when you are having adifficult time like I, just you
know.
She put her hands together likeshe was coming and she said I
just envisioned you in Jesus'shands.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
And that didn't.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
So I like it makes me about cry, but I just I loved
that visual and I love the faithand the and the love and the
sentiment behind that and so I'mlike, okay, I get to borrow
that because that's wonderful,like as a parent, because I
think you know, when your kidsare toddlers and young young it

(07:03):
feels overwhelming sometimes andthen it's kind of like bigger
kids and bigger problems.
And then they graduate fromhigh school and you think, oh,
yay, we kept them alive, off tocollege and it's all good.
But they're like no, I'm stillcalling my mom and talking to
her about things that I needsupport with, so we get to be a

(07:24):
parent and love and support andpray for our kids forever and
ever.
And so just I will use thatforever like just holding,
imagining my children being heldby Jesus in his hands and you
know, and I like the visual alsoof, like you know, Jesus, the
footprints, and Jesus walkingdown the beach with you and and

(07:47):
sometimes he's just walkingbehind you and observing and
making sure you're okay,sometimes he walks beside you
and sometimes he's gotta pickyou up and carry you yeah, you
know, one like piggyback rideyes, exactly I'm you've had
piggyback rides too right?

Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yes, for sure, Definitely.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
Well, tell us about a piggyback ride that you've
taken in your journey, just whenI was in the relationship with
the kid's father and I knew thatit wasn't healthy or
sustainable.
I knew that, you know, thereshould not be, you know,

(08:41):
physical and emotional abusetowards myself or towards my
kids.
But I also knew that he wouldget to have a relationship with
his children and if he wastriggered like, I wanted to be
there when they were young sothat I could get in between them

(09:02):
and stand in the way andprotect them.
And when, um, I don't know, atat some point, like my, my
daughter, when she was nineyears old, you know, she would
rock in fetal position and andjust say I, you know, I'm never
going to be happy, and I, I just, I don't want to be alive

(09:25):
anymore.
Like, and, it was so hopelessand at nine years old, that was,
it was devastating.
And then she had said at onepoint too, like I, you know, if
I kill myself, I want to killyou, and and my sister like, and
, and so I was like, ooh, we gotto unpack that one.
So we went to the counselor andand she said I just love you so

(09:50):
much that when I leave, I wantyou to come with me.
And so, um, I knew you knowwhen you're thinking of getting
yourself out of a bad situation.
If you get into your logic mindabout all the what ifs and all

(10:10):
the what you need to do, it canbe so overwhelming that the next
logical steps you need to takeyou can't physically do it
Because you're so overlyconsumed with what needs to
happen and all the what ifs.
So that was a time where I just, you know, I had to jump right

(10:32):
and just and literally, god putme.
I was in the gym, I was next toa woman on a treadmill.
I started talking to her.
I said, you know, she startedtalking to me about how she was
going to move and that her housewas available.
I said, okay, like, has herented it yet?

(10:54):
Nope, you know where does helive?
Can I get his number?
And he happened to live inAustralia, which is where my
brother lives.
So I thought that was a littleangel nudge too.
I mean, that was kind of randomand and and literally just
everything kind of fell intoplace within a matter of a

(11:16):
couple of days and I got to justtake a step in the dark, like
with full faith, like all of mypaycheck got taken, all of the
savings got taken.
I had the, the person who ownedthe home.
Let us move in without a downpayment, without me even paying

(11:36):
rent.
Um, my friend showed up becauseI because all of my money had
been taken by my ex.
I because all of my money hadbeen taken by my ex I couldn't
afford gas in my car to get tomy job.
I had no food for groceries, Imean, and you think about it
when you literally have no money, like I'm, like I can't buy
toilet paper, I can't wash ourclothes.

(11:57):
I can't go buy laundry detergent, you know, and I mean, and I
literally didn't even take a bedfor myself you know, so I have
no bed, no money, like no food,no gas, and I'm like huh, you
know, and and I'm afraid, like Iwas, I was genuinely afraid of

(12:22):
what, what happened to us, andso that I mean that I mean that
was definitely a time.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
How many years ago was this?

Speaker 2 (12:38):
Oh, you're going to make me do math.
Yes, no, my daughter's 25 andshe was nine at the time.
So 14, 14 years ago.
So yeah, so my daughters weresix years old and nine years old
at the time.
So it was amazing just to seepeople show up in my life, my

(12:59):
friends and um, put gas in mytank, get food for us, get our
necessities for us and literallylike help carry us.
And, and then that was thepiggyback ride.
I'm like, okay, geez, likelet's go, and you know.
And so I mean I had my momentswhere I'm like, how am I going

(13:21):
to do this?
How are we going to survive?
Like I don't, even I didn'tknow any of the things, right,
and so you know, I would get, Iwould be crying and kind of like
, oh gosh, I don't know what'sgoing to happen here, and I
would get on my elliptical and Iwould pray and I would just go,
go, go, pray, pray, pray.
And then by the time I was done, I was like, okay, I got this.

(13:44):
Like I really don't know how Igot this, but that's the beauty
of faith is that, like you don'tget to get it, like there's no
crystal ball, you don't know howit's going to work out.
But you get to believe thatit's going to work out, that he
is carrying you and that it isall going to be okay, and we

(14:04):
also don't get to define whatokay is Like you know, yeah,
like youknow we, you know I mean I have
been through a lot with you knowa sexual assault when I was
younger, alcoholic father,divorced parents.
You know going through thatwith my own relationship and

(14:27):
what it put my kids through andand so on and so forth.
But I mean what I realized isthat and so I have total peace
with it and that's what I wishfor people.
So much is that, even though Iwent through all those things
and it was super hard in themoment, like it was all for a

(14:47):
purpose right, like it was likeI could not do the work I do
with teens that are strugglingor with parents who have teens
or kids that are struggling, ifI hadn't been through it myself.
It gives me this wholedifferent level of empathy and
wisdom and caring.
Um, and then I get to do.

(15:10):
I always talk about my littledirect downloads from from the
lord, like I don't have thegreat.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
So I have to go back for a second, because 25 minus 9
is actually 16, so I had to fixmy math okay okay, just in case
somebody's listening andthey're like, yeah, yes, yes, I
did, yeah, I had, yeah, becausewe don't edit or audit this
podcast, so I went back and wejust rewind it a little bit.

(15:48):
I love, I love what you saidabout you.
Know how do you not walkedthrough this?
You, you can't.
You can't fully empathize orfully understand what people are
walking through unless you'vewalked through it.
Right, and I would love for you, like you, you mentioned you
work with teens and the, theparents of teens.

(16:09):
So there's a, there was amoment that brought you into
that um realm of helping peoplein this way.
So what, what was that storylike?
What is is the testimony behindthat.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
Well, I think it's all that.
You know I went through with mydaughters and you know kind of
the trauma and the PTSD and allof the things that they
experienced you know kind of ledinto, you know, anxiety and

(16:45):
depression and some suicidalideation and they were super shy
.
They were super smart kids andsuper loving and super sweet and
amazing friends and stuff, butthey were terribly shy and they
were carrying all this trauma inthem and you know what I
realized?

(17:05):
You know, I think there's thistime when they hit, like middle
school and high school, earlyhigh school, where all of that
just kind of hits and it, youknow, it's a difficult,
challenging time for kids.
Their brains are not fullydeveloped and they're, you know,
either dealing with socialmedia, they're dealing with kids

(17:27):
at school and and all.
We'll talk more later about allthe things that kids are
dealing with.
But I just my, my daughter wasfeeling suicidal and so I was
trying to get her into a DBTprogram to teach her coping
skills and to give her extrasupport.
And with those programs you canget together with your parents

(17:50):
and then the parent getscounseling, the kid gets
counseling and then you gotogether and learn like coping
skills and stuff.
So it's quite a good program,but they had a 10 month waiting
period and she was suicidal then, like I'm like 10 months from
now, like you know, and then youknow.
And then during the pandemic, Iknow every single hospital bed

(18:17):
in the entire state of Minnesotawas full with teens that wanted
to die.
It was unbelievable.
So, and I have kids that werestruggling, some that were
alumni, that were in college,and it was particularly hard
also on kids that were new intocollege and completely isolated

(18:38):
in their dorm rooms and they hadlines of chairs in the hallways
of the hospitals and kids hadto wait up to five days to
actually get a room.
So they were lined up onfolding chairs in the hallways
so that they were protected andsafe and they were not in an

(18:58):
environment where they couldchoose to hurt themselves.
So all of those sorts of thingslike my seeing the pain of my
friends.
And the interesting thing istoo, is that it made me sad that
like I didn't know that one ofmy very best friend's daughter
was really struggling until Ibumped into her at Prairie Care,

(19:20):
which is another resource thatexists, and I thought this is so
sad that we as parents feel Idon't know if it's shames the
right word but like we hold itclose to our vest and we don't
want anybody to know that we'restruggling or our kids are

(19:42):
struggling.
We're putting on the mask andwe're trying to look like
everything's perfect and in themeantime we're struggling or our
kids are struggling.
We're putting on the mask andwe're trying to look like
everything's perfect and in themeantime we're breaking inside,
and so it's not a good thing forour kids, because if we feel
like we have to look perfect andcan't admit that we have some
hurt and pain that we need todeal with and pray about and
communicate about and getsupport on, if we're not willing

(20:05):
to do that, then our kids thinkthat they have to put the mask
on and pretend like everything'sokay.
In the meantime they'reimploding inside.
So I just thought you know allthese things.
I'm like gosh, if your kid'shurting, you're hurting first of
all and second of all, likesomeone's got to help these kids

(20:25):
.
And it can't be like I had badinsurance when I did the DVT
program, ultimately, 10 monthslater with my daughter, and I
think it costs like $8,000.
Like it was crazy.
So you look at like thedisparity between who can afford
to get the help and who can'tthat's an issue.
You look at when someone'shurting and like the wait time

(20:47):
to actually get the help.
So I was like someone's got tohelp these kids and it's got to
be like now, it's got to be free, it's got to be immediate, like
no wait lists.
Like you know, I found peopleon social media and the Eden
Prairie Moms group that havekids that were struggling and
then they're struggling and Imean two hours later they're in

(21:11):
our Tuesday night program, likemeeting with friends and doing
support group and learningcoping skills and having fun and
just having a break from likeschool and home and all the
stresses that all those thingscan bring.
So that was, I mean, it wasjust the desire, the need for my

(21:33):
own kids to get support andthen seeing other kids that I
knew in the community strugglingand then looking at statistics
too.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
Yeah, so can I.
Can I go back a little bit?
Were you working a job at thistime when things started, you
know I was.

Speaker 2 (21:54):
I mean, you know I was a single mom.
So I mean I was a single momwith no child support, doing it
on my own support, doing it onmy own.
And then, to make it eveneasier and more fun, it took six
and a half years to get divorcepaper signed, even when I was
crying and begging with thejudge to get it done, and it was

(22:15):
.
So that's a whole differentthing, but, yeah, so that was
when I needed patience too.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
Like seriously.
I mean 10 months, months intothe program, six and a half
years for the.
You know worse to be final befinal, like you've definitely
seen these situations thatyou've literally walked through.
That took, honestly, more timethan and it should right right
for sure, and definitely so.

(22:43):
Then you're getting this.
You know like, hey, somebodyneeds to help these kids.
Did you immediately think Ineed to help the kids, or was it
was there?
Was there a little bit ofresistance for you to step into
it?
I'm just kind of curious onthat because I know sometimes we
we look at things in this worldand we think, gosh, somebody

(23:05):
needs to help in this XYZsituation and God will say, well
, it's you.
Was that kind of your situation, or was there like, what did
that look like for you?

Speaker 2 (23:18):
I mean I think it was like.
I mean I was able to witness inother communities a framework
of something that seemed to behelping kids.
So I thought, okay, how about Itake that framework and then we
create something in ourcommunity, because there was not
anything in our community atthe time, in our community at

(23:40):
the time and I don't know, I,just I, there's just a knowing,
a piece, um, um, I I don't, Idon't even know.
Like I just was all in, I justthought someone needs to help
these kids and I'm going to doit, like I'm going to raise my
hand.
But, that being said, like Ialso could not have done it to

(24:02):
the level that I've done it if Ihadn't met my husband and we.
He was my best friend fromcollege's brother, who's four
years older, and when I leftCalifornia to go to South Dakota
for college he was leavingSouth Dakota to go to get his
master's at UCLA in California.
So we had not met until later inlife when we both were divorced

(24:27):
.
So but we really aligned.
I called it the voice fordating because we just talked
and talked and talked aboutspecifically supporting his
sister in a situation she was in.
But but, like, I got to knowhis heart for the Lord and I got
to know his heart for hisfamily and I got to know, like

(24:49):
you know, his, his commitment tohealth and wellness and his
desire to explore the world andother cultures and other lands
and other people, and and so wejust so connected at that core
and and and if it hadn't startedwith that faith piece, it would
not have even gone beyond that.
But, um, and, and I didn't evenknow what he looked like there,

(25:11):
he wasn't really on socialmedia and he said, well, come
out to California.
I live a half hour from yourmom.
I'm like, well, there's asafety net there, like I can
Like.
I'm like well, there's a safetynet there.
Like I get like a close mom,you know.
So I'm like Julie, I go.
How tall is this guy?
I go.
Can I bring my heels?
Like he goes, what if I waslike 5'2" I go, I don't know,

(25:33):
I'm just kidding, I wasn't sure.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
No, just kidding, you know these things right.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
Yeah, exactly, I'm like can I bring my heels, you
know?
So I'm like, luckily six footone or two or something like
that, but anyways, um, I gettalking on all my stories and
then I lose track of what thequestion even is.
I'm not gonna lie it's okay.

Speaker 1 (25:56):
Well, I think like.
So you went out there oh, so Ijust I went out there yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
I went out to California and I met him.
So I guess the point of thatwhole like meeting my husband
and him being so committed tothe Lord and committed to
serving when I went to him andsaid I would like to do this
thing, like my kids need it younow are having experience with

(26:23):
that that you didn't previouslyhave.
You're seeing the need that'sout there, you know, and I and
so we're a partnership in thisand I tell him I joke around and
I say he's earned his wingsbecause he's the force backing
my ability to do this, because Iwas able, and supported by him,

(26:44):
to leave my full-timesix-figure job to do this work.
And this fall I will start myninth year of doing this work.
So I'm forever, eternallygrateful.
Because you know the Lordthrough us, like we are the
vessel.
So I won't say we've saved lives, the Lord has saved lives

(27:06):
through us.
You know being able to workwith families and with parents
and with teens, Because, again,if the teens are hurting or the
kids are hurting, the parentsare struggling too.
Because you love your kids.
I mean, those of us who havekids know what the love is like
for your kids.
There's a love like no other.

(27:28):
So, and then there's thishelplessness too, Like when you
feel like, oh, they'restruggling and I don't know what
to do, you know.
So I'm very grateful for hissupport and our ability to start
this thing and to see what itcan involved into.
And now, like I, really I holdit very loosely because I want

(27:52):
the Lord to be in charge and Ithere are a lot of different
things that we do to help peopleand there's a lot of ways that
this can grow and expand andreach more people.
And I don't know, I'm waitingfor that puzzle piece, I guess.
You know, I'm like I just keepdoing what I'm doing, and I
think you and I have talkedabout this too that a lot of

(28:15):
times, like, we just get to showup, like, and when I show up
and I'm like, okay, lord, here Iam, what's what, what's next?
Or like, okay, you had me go tothis meeting, like who am I
going to be sitting by?
Oh, it's the principal of thearts high school that I've been
wanting to meet.
Wow, like I can't make that up,you know.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
so, oh, my gosh, yeah , I love how you like, just even
with your husband too.
You know, I was just remindedof the song wind beneath my
wings.
You know, it's just like thatcurrent to have somebody in your
life who truly supports you.
Um, not everybody has that.
So I guess I would say, youknow, to those who are listening

(29:01):
, who have been given this sendfrom the lord, who maybe don't
have somebody in their cornerwho's supporting them, like what
would you say to them?

Speaker 2 (29:12):
I would say that, um, you get to create that.
I would say the lord is alwaysthere, being the wind beneath
your wings, and I you, soleaning into your faith, leaning
into the word, but then alsofinding community, like you have
been led to create communitythrough your New Wings, coaching

(29:33):
and bring people togetherthrough the podcast.
You know there are so manypeople out in the world who will
lift you up and help youfulfill the purpose that God's
put in your life.
But you have to have thestrength to look beyond.
It's kind of like when peoplesay you can choose your family.

(29:56):
You get the family you get, butyou get to choose who gets to
be your family or who you createa family with, and you have to.
I like the whole.
I use the microphone analogy alot.
I talk about how you,especially with the teens and

(30:18):
even the parents, but who like?
Who are you going to turn themic up on and who are you going
to mute the mic?
So, you get to be in control,like if someone's not speaking
life and love and possibilityinto your life, you get to mute
that mic, like you don't have tolisten to that person, like you

(30:39):
get to choose to turn their micdown or mute their mic.
And the people that arespeaking that into your life,
that are lifting you up to be, Imean, use all the gifts that
you have.
Because you know, I see overand over again like we are all
uniquely and wonderfully madeand I, you know, I have to tell

(31:02):
these kids because you go intothese school and these high
performing communities andthere's a, this is the way the
world tells you life is supposedto go.
You know, yeah, you know, workhard, you get the good grades,
you get in the.
You know, you get in the sports.
You're on and da-da-da-da-da.
And the DECA kids or thehigh-performing kids are like,

(31:24):
listen, we're struggling too,but we're not allowed to show
the struggle, like we have toput the mask on while we're
crumbling inside because one APclass isn't enough and 4.0 isn't
good enough and being on thefootball team isn't good enough.
You have to be a starter or astar and, like, the football
team isn't good enough, you haveto be a starter or star.
And like this college isn'tgood enough and you know like

(31:46):
they're always struggling withthat.
Not enough, like the world andtheir parents and everybody are
telling them that's not enough,you're not enough.
Or like trying to shove thesquare peg in the round hole.
Like you know you should go getthe good grades.
Do the classes, go to college,get the good job, save your
money, get your.
You know you should go get thegood grades.
Do the classes, go to college,get the good job, save your
money, get your.
You know like so that you canretire.

(32:08):
And francis chan has an amazingeverybody google it.
I love his video, his ropeanalogy with the red end.
And he's like this is the whitepart of like miles of rope is
eternity and the little part onthe end is red and that's your
life on earth.
And then you take like okay,like you're supposed to work

(32:30):
hard, work hard, make all thesechoices so that at the very end
you can have, you know, you canjust self-indulge and have fun
with yourself and your life.
And so he said that people lookat him when he makes decisions
and thinks he's crazy becausehe's making decisions based on
eternity, while the world ismaking decisions based on that

(32:54):
one inch piece of red, whichwhat do we get to do when we
retire, or how much money are wegoing to save or have for our
kids?

Speaker 1 (33:01):
So it's yeah, I love, I love that.
I think when we, when we firsttalked the first time,
definitely a very key likealignment with me as well where
it's it's so like we need toflip the system here.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
Yeah, wouldn't you say A hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
Like and I see it not only with kids, but even, you
know, women in their forties,fifties and sixties, and they're
like wait a second, I canactually be who God created me
to be.
Exactly You're like them beforethey like go that far.

Speaker 2 (33:36):
Yeah, and you know what's so interesting is that
part of like the work that I'vedone in my life, like I've
worked with him for prisonministries, with the Shakopee
Women's Prison, and gettingmentorship into their lives like
a team approach to mentorshipand the difference that that can

(33:58):
make in the lives of thosewomen.
And we lost a friend, steveRumler, to opioid addiction.
So there's the Steve RumlerHope Network and so we got a law
passed in the state ofMinnesota, the Don't Run Call
911 law.
It's like Steve's law.
So basically if you're withsomeone that's overdosing, you

(34:22):
can call for help so that theycan stay alive.
Because what was happening isif people were doing drugs
together and someone startedoverdosing, the other person
would run because they wereafraid of getting arrested and
leave the other person to die.
So now there's a law where theycan actually get.
You know like the other personwon't be held liable for

(34:44):
whatever drugs they were doingif they call for help to save
the person's life.
And then they do a ton ofdistribution of Narcan.
And then I worked withtrafficking justice.
So I've done all this work.
That was when I was trying toput my puzzle pieces down and
I'm like where am I supposed tobe?
What am I supposed to be?
What's, what am I supposed tobe working on?
And my daughter, my oldestdaughter, um, said to me mom,

(35:11):
don't you get it Like.
You got to help the kids.
Like, why are you waiting untilthey're like, until they've
been trafficked and then they'redoing drugs, and then they get
in the system, in the prisonsystem, and then they come out
and they have nowhere else to gobut to the person that was
selling them the drugs and whothen, traffics them and they get
in this whole thing and andshe's like you got to help the

(35:34):
kids, like help them before theyget to those situations and I
was like, oh my gosh, thank you,lord, for like the wisdom of
babes Right.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
Exactly.
Oh my gosh, and I mean it's sotrue because, um, and just the
fact that she, kind of fullcircle, was able to, to infuse
that wisdom into you and justgive you that puzzle piece that
you were looking for, and yet itwas through your own daughter
that you were looking for andyet it was through your own
daughter.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
Yeah, yeah, it's so cool.
And now she I mean this is.
The other thing that I love isthat and we were in in our
community we, the Eden PrairieCommunity Foundation, does a
quarterly luncheon for nonprofitleaders, and so we were talking
about volunteerism and like howdo you get people to volunteer
and stay committed and staymotivated and not get burned out

(36:27):
and all that kind of stuff?
And I got to tell how, rightnow, like initially we had just
this core set of volunteers thatvolunteered for six years.
Like that is unheard of like inthe land of nonprofits and
volunteers to have volunteersstick around for that long.
And now, like the first classof kids that I had that were

(36:51):
seniors in high school when Istarted the program have now
graduated from college, and nowthey have all I would say 80% of
my volunteers or alumni havegone away, graduated from
college, come back, and nowthey're mentoring other young
people.
They're helping spread the wordto businesses and to other

(37:12):
individuals about what we'redoing.
One of them's a social worker,so she's on my advisory board
and I call her.
You know, like, oh, what do Ido about this situation, you
know.
And so they come and theyvolunteer and they work with the
kids.
So I think that's a testamentto the value that they felt in
the program.
And then their heart is to giveback too.

(37:35):
And one of the kids, like Elvishis name is Elvis and he was
from Kenya.
He is from Kenya and heliterally just two weeks ago got
his US citizenship.
So I'm so excited for him forthat.
But he graduated, he went tothe University of Minnesota and
was in the business school andhe's worked for a ministry, like

(37:56):
he did ministry on the campusof the U of M.
And he got recognized.
At the U of M they give twoawards per class for students
that made a difference in theircommunity and he got one of
those awards and invited me tocome.
He had a couple of people hecould invite, invited me to come

(38:16):
with him while he got thataward from the president of the
U of M.
So it's so neat to watch themthen get a heart for ministry or
a heart for making a differencein young people and then go out
in the world and go do that.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
I mean just the impact.
You know, I like to say, likewe, we have a choice right, and
what we're doing, and so much ofwhat we do, and especially the
work that you're doing, like hasgenerational legacy, like it
has generational impact, right.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
Yeah, it absolutely does.
And I, you know I mean not onlyyou know is the program and
what the Lord's doing through it, saving the lives of kids who
did not want to be here, likefor my daughter when she got
into this program, like she,like her graduating from high

(39:14):
school was not an expectedoutcome, more because of her
mental health and her beingalive, to graduate from high
school was not an expectedoutcome.
And so some of the kids come toour program, you know, in that
same, you know way of being, andso, um, you know the mere fact

(39:37):
that they're alive.
But then we've it's.
It's so amazing to me.
We worked with kids from 18different countries.
So the cultural impact and, andyou know, when we, at the time
when George Floyd was murdered,we had kids from 13 different

(39:57):
countries in our group, and so,um, we started a program called
love your neighbor and I askedthem, I said, would you please
like get up in front of the room?
And I gave him a littlePowerPoint template, like
outline for them to use to, um,just talk about their culture,

(40:19):
because I believe, like, fearbreeds hate and hate, you know,
hate breeds violence and it's,you know, we've.
So it's like oh no, sorry, Iskipped one, sorry.
Ignorance, ignorance breeds fear, fear breeds hate and hate

(40:41):
breeds violence.
I knew there was four, but itstarts with ignorance.
So when we don't know abouteach other and what our ways of
being and what our culturalvalues are and what are you know
, all the different things thatcreate who we are in the
background, the lens that welook through life at, like it's
you know, then that can breedfear and animosity and stuff.

(41:03):
So, giving all these kids theopportunity to share about their
culture and family values andtheir faith and all that, and
then also having them you know,then getting raw and real about
it and talking about how does itfeel to be you here?
Like how does it feel Like?

(41:24):
What's your experience in theworld here?
And so, because there's stuffthat people do to hurt each
other that they don't intend to,and the new language for that
is like microaggressions.
You know, sometimes it's justignorance, like I don't know
that touching your.
You know one thing like a.

(41:45):
One thing I use as an exampleis that you know if a girl has
really pretty braids, kind oflike when someone comes up to a
pregnant woman and they want itlike and they want to touch your
stomach, you know and they'relike some people are down with
it and some people are like Idon't even know who you are like
why are you?
touching me.
No, exactly, I know it's likekind of a boundary, and so if

(42:09):
you touch a girl who has prettybraids, like if you go, oh,
those are really pretty braids,sometimes your instinct is like
people want to touch the braidsand that is, that is offensive,
you know.
But there's things that if youdon't know, you don't know and
stuff.
And then there's also verydirect, hateful, hurtful things
that go on.
So I mean it just.

(42:30):
You know, jesus did not hangout with the jews and the
pharisees, jesus hung outRagamuffin.

Speaker 1 (42:42):
What's up?
He liked the ragamuffins.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
Mm-hmm.
Different races and culturesand you know, those that others
would not hang around and stuff.
So anyway, so it's just, it'sbeen so fun to like you know
just yeah, I love that program.

(43:07):
They'll love your name.
And then I counted.
You know that we have 18cultures now, or 18 countries
that we've served.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
It's just amazing to me yeah, I mean I have a
question to go back a little bit, but I'm I'm guessing that
somebody is wondering, like,what is the name of her
nonprofit?

Speaker 2 (43:23):
I know we haven't even done that.
Okay, it's Kaleidoscope Teens.
I'm so sorry.
Yes, no, it's okay.

Speaker 1 (43:32):
You really got into this.
I can just imagine somebody'son the edge of their seat there,
like what is the name of it,and I would love for you to
share.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
like what is the meaning behind the name and how
did you come up with it?
You know the name.
Actually, one of the parents ofone of the kids that we were
serving came up with the nameKaleidoscope and I thought of it
.
And the way I thought of it islike, okay, like I look at it,
like like I stick all my littlefingers out and I, you know, a

(44:10):
kaleidoscope has well, part ofit is kaleidoscope has a bunch
of broken pieces.
That together makes a beautifulpicture, right, and we all have
a bunch of broken pieces, butwe are all beautiful and what we
have to offer the world isamazing, right.
So I have the three differentlittle circles, so I stick all
my fingers together and Iintertwine them and that's all

(44:31):
the little broken pieces.
And so I say a community iscreated of all these different
pieces and it's a beautifulthing together when all the
pieces are present.
Like we have differentsocioeconomic levels, we have
different education levels, wehave different cultures.
You know we have, you know.
So it's like there's so muchdiversity in our communities.

(44:55):
So I kind of feel like, youknow, if we're working together
in love and in unity, it createsa beautiful picture, right, and
then you go to a family unit isthe next one, and the right
hand is the parents and the lefthand is the kids, and that

(45:16):
family unit is created by, youknow kind of the lens that the
parents are looking through, howthey were raised, what they
were.
You know kind of the lens thatthe parents are looking through
how they were raised, what theywere, you know what their
culture is, what theirsocioeconomic level is, how they
were parented, how they thinkkids should be parented, whether
they have faith or not and whatthat faith is, and so, and then

(45:36):
the kids bring to the tablewhat they bring to the table.
But half of what's going on,like kids have limited, they
have limited power, you know, inthe situation, because you know
they're kids and so they didn'tchoose what family they were
born into, they didn't choosethe color of their skin, they

(45:59):
didn't choose the socioeconomiclevel.
So I mean there's all thosedifferent pieces that create the
family unit.
And then the kids themselves,like when they're young, I mean
there's things that impact theirlives and who they are, and
some of them they have controlover and some of them they don't
.
So there's all those componentsthat create who they are and

(46:23):
who they're being and how lifeis going for them.
You know.

Speaker 1 (46:29):
So I love what you're doing and I know you mentioned
you have like mentors that helpout.
Like how many people have comealongside you, because I know
like you can't carry this alone,right Like?

Speaker 2 (46:41):
you can't carry this alone, right, right, yeah, I
mean I've, I, you know, I meanI've got mentors at my church.
I have, um, specifically, Ithink it's so cute because
George, like George, is one ofmy mentors and George was in a
networking group with me and heis from the East coast, so he's

(47:02):
like he's very typical, he'sfrom california.
So I love straight june eastcoast people right like just
call, like see it see it like itis, and whatever.

Speaker 1 (47:15):
We're an anomaly here in minnesota, aren't we?

Speaker 2 (47:19):
I know it's like yeah I'm, I'm a Morical, like I see
it whatever.
That's not necessarily normalhere, but he came up to me and
he's like, listen, he goes.
I always say when I talk, likehim, listen.
He's like God doesn't talk tome that much, but he told me I'm
supposed to help you so Ibetter listen, you know, because

(47:41):
he doesn't talk to me thatoften.
So I better listen, you know,cause he doesn't talk to me that
often.
But so I just thought that waskind of a cute story of, like
you know, people.
I mean some people just want tohelp in general.
Some people have kids that havehad difficulty.
Some people that have comealongside are parents of kids
that have benefited from theprogram and, like I said, some
of our like the kids themselvesthat have gone from the program

(48:01):
and, like I said, some of themare like the kids themselves
that have gone through theprogram, graduated and then come
around to come back and supportkids.
I love that.

Speaker 1 (48:13):
Well, I know you said you have a really special event
that's coming up and thisactually is going to be
launching prior to that.
So I'd love for you to share alittle bit about kind of the
heart behind what you're doingand what's coming up.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
Yeah, I'll share about that and then I'll go into
more about like what we do asan organization after that as
well.
But part of like my holdingthings loosely and being nimble
as this is the nonprofit thatI've created is being open to

(48:52):
the opportunities that the Lordpresents and then really having
no fear and asking for things.
And we were part of a grantprogram and we got some
different experiences in thearts doing pottery, making glass
beads, doing mosaic art, andthen we got to record a song, um

(49:14):
, with a producer, and this is aproducer who's produced
everyone from Phil Collins toLizzo Um, and he has done, you
know, movie scores and music forvideo games, and so he's worked
with a lot of people and he isamazing with the teens and we
enjoyed that experience so much.

(49:35):
And I had so many kids thatwere musical in our group.
They could beat box, sing, rap,you know.
I had violinist, bass guitarist, guitarist, all sorts of things
, and so I said, hey, would youever want it?
And I like take that steal thateverybody Like would you ever
want it?

Speaker 1 (49:55):
And I like take that steal that everybody Like don't
be afraid to ask ever for itagain Would you ever want to.

Speaker 2 (49:59):
I'm like hey, would you ever want it?
Like, that's what I'm saying.
I'm like, hey, would you everwant to?
Like record an album with us?
And almost always I get, yes,like almost always, you know.
So he's like yeah, sure, youknow.
And I'm like, oh, you know, butum, I mean, that's not an

(50:19):
expected thing, that's not likea hey, that's what we do as we
make albums in this program.
But but I'm always looking forways, because all of these kids
don't have traditional giftings,and so my goal is to like, let
them see that they are createdon purpose that way, with their

(50:42):
giftings, and that there is aplace in the world for them to
trust that the Lord made nomistakes and that their gifts
are there on purpose and thatthey get to find a way to use
them.
You know, and so you know.
So when we got this opportunity,you know, and then I'd always

(51:03):
take someone come alongside.
So the Bernard group is aprinter here in Eden Prairie and
they came alongside andprovided some funding for us so
that we could pay.
And Bionic is the name, so he'sStephon Bionic.
He goes by Bionic Taylor as theproducer, and so we were able
to pay him to do this album, andso, um, yeah, it's just amazing

(51:28):
.
Like we have seventh gradegirls on violins, we had an
eighth grade boy on a bassguitar and another boy on a
guitar and, like you know, allof these kids are singing.
They wrote every single word ofevery single song and and it's
and one of my alumni who isdoing music right now as well

(51:50):
she's going to perform atPeopleFest.
So sometimes I take a while toget to the point.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
Sorry about that, but I'm on the edge of my seat.
It's so good Like.
This is so good, tammy.

Speaker 2 (52:04):
So like.
So we get to work with thosefamous producer and produce this
music and it's the confidencethat he's giving these kids is
so amazing and so, um, we get toperform.
I've been for seven years onthis people fest committee and
we do this community wide eventcalled people fest and we have

(52:24):
the people fest party.
That kicks off the event thatis happening on July 27th from
four to 8 PM in Eden, in EdenPrairie, minnesota, and it's at
a lake.
I mean, we're the land of10,000 lakes, right, so of
course it's at a lake and theyhave an amphitheater and there's
going to be food trucks andbooths.

(52:46):
So we'll have a booth theretalking about what we do for
teens and parents, and then theyhave a stage and throughout the
day, from four to eight, wehave um groups from different
different groups from differentcultures doing different dance
and music and sorts of things.
So we kick off the event atfour o'clock, so from four to

(53:07):
four 20, we will do four of oursongs.
Then May, who goes musically byMay Doll, and she has an album
that's a faith-based it'sfaith-based songs.
You can find it on Spotify.
I just again like I'll get on adiverted thing here with her

(53:29):
too, but she is an alumni and soshe's going to perform some of
her songs and she has got onesong oh my gosh, like you just
got to look her up me versus methe EP on Spotify.
I mean, she has got some justfaith based like you want to
kick your morning off right,like you can just plug these

(53:50):
songs in and and they will ampyou up for the Lord and for life
, and it's just so.
I am so proud of her.
So she will be there performingas well and, yeah, I'm just
super excited for theopportunity.
So then we'll make our albumavailable on Bandcamp.
So, if you look up, we namedthe album Kaleidoscope for the

(54:12):
same reasons, our name isKaleidoscope and it's on
Bandcamp.
So you can go into Bandcamp,look up Kaleidoscope, and that
will be live as of July 27th andyou can download the songs.
And if you want to make adonation to support the work
that we're doing, please do so.

(54:33):
It's life-transforming andlife-saving work that we're
doing.
Please do so.
It's life transforming and lifesaving work that the Lord is
doing through our group.
So, yeah, we're just superexcited about that opportunity.
And May is a student too.
She was in one of my firstcouple years and she in one of
my first couple years and sheI'm just proud of her.

(54:53):
Like she ended up.
You know she has not had aneasy past.
She ended up getting pregnantwhen she was 16.
Her father kicked her out ofthe house so, through a church
organization that helps findhousing for teenagers, we were
able to place her with a familyand then we were able to place

(55:13):
her with a family and then wewere able to place her in a
school in Chaska that I thinkit's Beyond New Beginnings, but
maybe I shouldn't say, becauseI'm not 100% sure if that's
right, but it's a school inChaska that allows young moms to
go to high school and completehigh school and bring their
babies with them and the firsthour of school is teaching the

(55:36):
kid like the mom with the kid,with the baby, teaching the mom
how to be a good parent.
And it's it's such an amazingresource because it is my
opinion that you know, like ofall of the alumni that I've had
and students that I've had thathave gotten pregnant

(55:57):
unexpectedly, every single oneof them has had the baby.
But they need someone like ourorganization or their church
family or others, because oftentheir own family won't step up
and help them.
Often their own family won'tstep up and help them.
Like we can't expect them tohave these babies successfully
and love and nurture them andprovide for them without

(56:20):
supporting them.
So if we actually show up inlove and not in judgment and
provide help to people that findthemselves in a situation
unexpectedly, then the rightchoice always gets made.
But they need that safety net,like the old.

(56:42):
What would jesus do?
You know, you know, and so she,you know.
So she was graduated from highschool and like her son is like
gonna be in first grade now.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
I can't even believe it wow, that's crazy I mean, I'm
sure you have like so manyexamples of these kids that have
come through with you and I canonly imagine how, like in awe
of god, you are oh, totally likeyou're like bold.

(57:15):
I need to help these kids yeahand also the bold uh, would you
ever wanna?

Speaker 2 (57:24):
yeah, would you ever wanna?
Hey, like.
So my next would you ever wanna?
Is would you ever want to helpme write a book with the kids?
So we have a grant, we got somegrant funding and, um, I have
some somebody kind of in thebackground helping us that I
know that's kind of a coach andhelps people write books.
But I'm because always in theback of my mind.

(57:48):
Number one I want to have themhave real world examples of
using their gifts and seeingthat there's value in the world
for their gifts.
Number two there's value in whothey are and what their story
is.
They get to tell their story ifthey so choose to tell their
story, and I'm also constantlybuilding resumes.

(58:09):
Like we give, like we, the kidsget given to and loved and
supported, so they get to passit forward or pay it forward,
and so we're trying always tolook for different ways.
So if anybody has any volunteeropportunities, let me know.
But we're always trying to findvolunteer opportunities for the
teens, you know, so that theycan give back as well.

(58:31):
But, um, I will skip.
Let me like get to the basics,because I got more stories than
you can imagine and I'll tellmore stories.
But like, essentially, likewe're kaleidoscope teens and, um
, we serve teens ages 11 to 19,so that's in our area, like that

(58:53):
can typically be like a middleschool, sixth, seventh, eighth
grade and then high school, youknow, ninth through 12th grade,
and then we also, because wehave so many alumni, and what we
found is that just because youturn 18 and you graduate from
high school doesn't mean youstop needing community or that

(59:14):
you stop needing support formental health.
You still need to learn copingskills.
And then the life skills thatwe teach are even more relevant,
because you're actually havingto buy a car, rent an apartment,
get insurance and do all thosesorts of things that we teach.
Um, and then we work with theparents of teens, because I've,

(59:36):
you know, I've been there, donethat, like I know what it's like
to have struggling teens, andso, um, you know, like the woman
that I talked about, that, likeI, I messaged her message back
to her on Facebook, a Facebookgroup, and her daughter was at
her house two hours laterparticipating in our program and

(59:59):
she gave me a big hug and shegoes.
This is the first time Ihaven't felt alone in longer
than I can remember, because she, like me was a single mom who
left an abusive situation, whowas trying to parent her
daughter, who was struggling.
So it was like looking in amirror it was me from you know,

(01:00:20):
10 years ago, right.
So that's what they often say is, if you choose to help and you
do coaching or helping of others, like you're often, like you
know, helping those who were youyou know, years back and um and
kind of the why of why we do itlike my own personal why.

(01:00:42):
But you know the mental healthstatistics right now like 26.9%
of teenagers ages 12 to 17 havemental, emotional and behavior
problems.
42% of high school studentsreported feeling persistently
sad and hopeless.

(01:01:02):
Suicide rates 700,000.
These are statistics from 2021.
So you know this is from theCDC, so there will be more.
I'm sure there's more recentstatistics as well.
And suicide continues to go upat 700,000 die by suicide every

(01:01:25):
year.
I do a suicide prevention eventthat's five days long in
September, every September,which is Suicide Awareness Month
, and one of the videos that Ihave included in that it said
there's like, think of it aswhen you brush your teeth, like
there's one death every 45seconds.

(01:01:48):
So while you're brushing yourteeth, three people die by
suicide and it's the secondleading cause of death among
teens and young adults ages 10to 34.
22% seriously have consideredsuicide and 10% of teenagers

(01:02:09):
have attempted suicide.
So I don't know it, just so.
And then I did the somesurveying at our high school and
72.5% of teenagers say theyhave anxiety Um 73 or wait.
49% say they have depression,um 30% say they have suicidal

(01:02:35):
ideation and only 10% of thosewho think about suicide would
actually tell someone.
So if you take all the teenagers, you know they're one out of.
You know 30% of them are havingthese thoughts and only you
know 30% of them are havingthese thoughts and only you know

(01:02:55):
one out of every 10 would tella parent or somebody else that
they're having those thoughts.
That's scary to me.
It's very scary, um, becauseyou can't help them if you don't
know what's going on in theirhead Right, and then 53.7% have
they would.
The word now is like it's bodyimage, it's body dysmorphia,

(01:03:19):
like kind of issues with theirbody image.
23.5% have eating disorder, 24%ADHD, 17% say they're
struggling with addictionalready, 18% say that they've
been sexually assaulted and 25%say they're actively being

(01:03:42):
bullied in their life.
So our kids, whether you knowit or not, are struggling, you
know, and some are silentlyimploding and some it's coming
out sideways, whether it's notgoing to school, staying locked
in their rooms.
You know talking just badbehavior, bad choices and stuff

(01:04:07):
like that.
But they have a lot on theirplate right now and I cannot
imagine, you know know, what itwould be like to be a teen with
social media and all the thingsthat are impacting.
You know, I tell it I kind ofjoke.
I'm like you know, if I wantedto know what was going on in the
world when I was their age, Iwould literally have to get

(01:04:30):
myself up off the Davenportcouch and I'd have to walk
myself through the shag carpetand turn the channel on the TV
at five o'clock or six o'clockor 10 o'clock to watch the news,
or I would have to look at thenewspaper.
That might have the top fivestories of things going on more
locally or globally or whatever.

(01:04:52):
You wouldn't even know thatmuch about what's going on
globally.
So even my own mental health,I've recognized, has suffered If
I get on my phone and I'mscrolling and I'm bombarded by
all the negative messaging aboutwhat's going on in this world.
And it's, it's, it's, it'sterrifying, and they're a little

(01:05:14):
.
Their prefrontal cortexes arenot fully developed.
I mean, and you can, you know,and I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:05:23):
I hear you, girl.
I thought about that too.
I'm like I cannot even imaginelike being a teenager growing up
in the way I grew up as welland having the bombardment of
what we see coming through thephone, through just so many, too
many sources.
There's too much, there'sconfusion, um, there's an

(01:05:46):
identity crisis.
I mean, there's just so muchgoing on in this world that if
you don't have safe people toprocess with, share your
feelings with, I can't evenimagine.
So I'm so thankful for whatyou're doing.
I wanted to ask you for thosewho live locally.
Now they have a plugin with you.

(01:06:06):
Let's just say I mean, we'vegot people from all over the
world tuning in here, maybestarting in the US and then
going out.
Is there like a database or awebsite that somebody could go
to that you trust that theycould plug into?
Let's just say they live in NewYork or they're, you know, in
Florida or California.

(01:06:27):
Is there somewhere that theycan go to that they could get
plugged into?
That might be kind of similarto what you do.

Speaker 2 (01:06:35):
Well, one thing that we learned I mean I think there
are good and bad things thatcame out of the pandemic, but
one thing we learned is that wecan make a tremendous difference
in the lives of kids and inparents, remotely.
Like you do coaching, andyou're not just doing coaching
with people that live inBloomington, minnesota, in

(01:06:55):
person, face to face.
So we also do um support groupand I have summits, I do
webinars, um you know, and we'rekicking off our parents group
as well in the fall, um, so Imean, just go to the website or

(01:07:17):
email me or call me or text me,and our, our website is
kaleidoscope teensorg, andthat's a hard I don't know.
Sometimes I wonder I shouldhave picked an easier thing to
spell.
Can you spell it?
Yeah, it's K-A-L-E-I-D-O-S-C-O-P, so K-A-L-E-D-O-S-C-O-P-E and

(01:07:51):
then teens and it's plural, soT-E-E-N-S, so
kaleidoscopeteensorg.
And then my email like my name,it's T for Tammy Ryder Harms,
so R-Y-D-E-R-H-A-R-M-S, so TRyder Harms, at
kaleidoscopeteensorg.

(01:08:13):
And then I'm okay, I'm down Ifyou call me or text me, whatever
.
Nine five, two, five, zero,zero, nine seven, two, three.
You can.
I mean what I found is you canGoogle my name and a lot of the
articles that are in newspapersand stuff that have been written
about what we do Will pop up.
And then check out our website.

(01:08:34):
But, like our mission Is andagain, I should have started
with this, but our mission is tobe the uniting force and
communities empowering parentsand caregivers and schools and
community partners, all workingtogether and supporting teens to
develop coping and life skillspaired with a career and or

(01:08:57):
college pathway that allows themto thrive in today's world and
successfully launch into theirfutures.
So I don't know.
My short one is we save andtransform the lives of teens.
That's much easier to I mean andwe operate off of, like, the
pillars of wellness and faithbeing a core component of that

(01:09:21):
as well.
So there's.
I divide what we do into threedifferent categories, you know.
One is support, and we dosupport groups.
So we teach kids how toidentify their emotions, how to
rate their week, and then wehave them share their highs and
lows with each other and givethem the opportunity to talk

(01:09:42):
about, like, celebrate what wentwell, because our brains are
prehistoric, they're wired tokeep us safe and they they
hardwire negative memories wayquicker than they do positive
memories.
And so and it's really reallyeasy and almost celebrated in
this world in a weird way, tofocus on the negative, but

(01:10:04):
teaching kids how to write likeokay, like we were talking about
our gratitude, kristen, you andI, like you know wrecking, like
having a gratitude journal orsomething, just trying to wire
their neural pathways to thinkin terms of what am I grateful
for?
Like I might, like my week mightbe a two out of a 10, but I got

(01:10:27):
to sit there and come up withsomething I'm grateful for and
something that was a highlightof my week and then they can
talk about.
You know what some, what achallenge is.
So those support groups areamazing and I think of some of
those skills like if every kidwas taught those skills and
brought those qualities andthose skills and teaching them

(01:10:48):
how to support another not togive advice to each other, but
how to empathize and support oneanother that our workplaces
would be transformed, like theworld would be transformed, I
think.
And then we do one-to-onementoring and then we help
people get access to resourceslike food and housing and

(01:11:08):
scholarships, because we'vebegun been able to get free
bikes and free computers and allsorts of things.

Speaker 1 (01:11:14):
So I tell people do not tell me you need something
unless you expect to get it,because I'm gonna figure out how
to get it for you I love thatwe need so many more people like
you in this world.
Seriously right.

Speaker 2 (01:11:29):
Or resources, right, yeah.
And then the education piece ofwhat we do is that, like, I
don't think people should haveto wait 10 months and pay $1,000
or even less in co-pays orwhatever to get coping skills
training.
We are so busy like loadingexpectations and stress onto our

(01:11:51):
, our young people, and but wedon't teach them how to cope
with it.
We don't fill their toolboxwith with ways to manage our.
You've got to manage your mind.
I talk about that all the timemanage your mind, manage your
mind, you know.
But we don't teach kids how tomanage their minds and how to
you know, just have differentsorts of coping skills for

(01:12:11):
different situations.
So we teach coping skills andthen we teach life skills and we
come together with.
We partner with localbusinesses.
So if you're a local businessand you want to partner with me,
like we teach kids about lifeskills, so we partnered with
Nissan.
How do you buy a car?
How do you do basic carmaintenance?

(01:12:32):
We've partnered with a localbank and talked about what's
your credit score, what is basicfinancial literacy?
We've had a financial managercome in and teach them about
investing their money.
We've had someone come in andtalk about how do you get
insurance.
Like now you're a young adultand you're renting and you've
got to get, like, renter'sinsurance.

(01:12:54):
Like most people, kids don'teven know they need that right.
And then there's this wholeTikTok thing going on right now
where, like, kids are beingspoken into.
This is where mute that mic,mute the mic, mute the mic, mute
the mic.
They're being told they willnever be able to afford to buy a
house.

(01:13:15):
They will never be able toafford this or afford that or do
this or do that.
Like you know what, whateverthey decide about their life,
like was it Ford who said?
Like, whether you say you cando it or you or you can't,
you're going to be right.
So if they believe that, thatthey'll never be able to do it,
then they won't ever do it.
And this is where you come intotransforming generational like.

(01:13:37):
Generational transformation isif we transform their minds into
trusting and believing thatthey can own their own home if
they want to, they can go tocollege if they want to.
But you also have to takeresponsibility and hear.
Like, sometimes the differencebetween those that have and
those don't is access toinformation.

(01:13:58):
Like, if you don't have asomeone who's an example showing
you how to do it.
How are you supposed to knowthat if it's does it seem
impossible?
And how to do it?
So, partnering with businesses,like you know, with mortgage
lenders and realtors, to helpkind of set them up financially.

(01:14:19):
You know, kind of think someDave Ramsey kind of stuff too.
Like I did a little lesson forthe kids.
I called it leggings and lattes.
Like if you keep buying thoseLululemon leggings and those you
know $8 lattes, like add up allthat money and what would you
have had?
Like because if you, if youcontribute I think it was like

(01:14:42):
$200 a month from age 19.
I think it's now I'm going toforget, so don't quote me on
this exactly but 19 to 30 orsomething like that and then you
stopped contributing.
You never save any more money.
You're going to have over $2million when it come time to
retire.

(01:15:02):
But if you start when you're 30and you go 35 years from 30 to
65 and you put that same $200away, you're going to have like
under a million.
Like you're going to have atleast half, as that's the
compounding interestconversation.
So trying to get kids tounderstand, like automatically

(01:15:24):
deposit a piece of your paycheck, always, always, always, that
you do not spend.
You know, starting from yourvery first job, you know, and
then we can talk about how doyou invest it and how do you
save it or what can you do withit.
But they, they can totally be amillionaire if they want to,
but they have to have the rightmindset.
They have to have the educationand the tools and know how to

(01:15:46):
do it.
You know, but it's so fun tosee the light bulbs go off and
go, oh, like TikTok's, not true,you know?

Speaker 1 (01:15:55):
turn down the mic.
I love that.
I love, love, love that.
That is such an easy one toremember.
You have so many mic drops,girl.

Speaker 2 (01:16:04):
Yeah, and then we help them get like, so part of
like.
So you think about a youngperson like you have kids that
are like going into, going toget out of high school or left
to go to college, like they'resuper anxious, like and, and
part of it is like like peopleact like they're supposed to
know what they want to do forthe rest of their life.
And that's a total joke,because there's no way AI is

(01:16:26):
going to eliminate more thanhalf the jobs that exist and by
the time they're our age,there'll be 50% or more new jobs
.
So you can't possibly know that.
So putting that pressure onthem is so unfair and not
correct.
But but they don't know what'snext.
So we have a college and careercounselor that donates their
$200 an hour time to meet viaZoom, so anybody anywhere in the

(01:16:51):
world or anywhere in the US canmeet with this person and get
that free counseling.
And she said I love this abouther.
She said I am more worriedabout the 25 year old you than I
am the 19 year old you, becauseyou may think it'd be cool.
Like this is, this is aprestigious school, or this is a

(01:17:11):
fun school, you know whatever,but like if you get yourself so
far in debt that you're livingin your parents' basement after
college and you can't afford acar or an apartment, like that's
not a very good decision, youknow.
So she helps guide the decision.

(01:17:32):
She helps them with theapplications with the FAFSAs.
We help them get scholarshipsand then now like and then it
comes.
Then I help them withinternships and then we help
with all of our businessconnections to help get them
jobs.
And we also help the teenagersget jobs, help them do their
resumes, help them withinterview skills and um you know

(01:17:55):
, it's just so sweet.
Like and I go in and I advocatefor them, like one kid.
He applied and I I called themup and I said, well, I would
like to.
I would like to understand whyyou have not called this person
for an interview, because here'sthe 10 reasons why I think they
would be an amazing employee.
And they said, okay, we'll havethem come in tomorrow for an
interview.
And I said okay, and he didn'thave it.

(01:18:17):
Wait, I mean transportation.
It doesn't compute in my brainbut it's like we're an affluent
community, but when we surveyedour community, what's the number
one challenge in our community?
It's transportation.
So that's something that in ourworld, like we don't often
realize that keep like ourneighbors are struggling to feed

(01:18:42):
their kids.
They are lacking transportation.
So I know one of our localchurches that's here, near and
far, and there's a lot of moneygoing overseas to help people.
But we need to open our eyes toour neighbors.
Like my program, we've got tolove our neighbor, love your
neighbor, love your neighbor,love your neighbor.

(01:19:03):
Wake up.
And I know it's really hardbecause sometimes we want to
stay in our happy little bubbleand I've got a lot of people I
know like that.
They're like I don't want tohear it, I don't want to know it
exists.
I just kind of want to stay inmy happy bubble.
But like we're not called to dothat, you know, we're called to
like, open our eyes and and andcare, and and, and we're not

(01:19:27):
called to hoard our gifts youknow our financial gifts and you
know, and so forth.
Like we're called to share andto give and lift up others and
do what Jesus would do, you know.
So, um, yeah, so just helpingthem with coping skills and
helping them like, if, if theyknow how to, if they're told how

(01:19:49):
to pay their taxes or that theycan buy a house, or that they
can buy a car here's how yourent an apartment then you've
alleviated some anxiety for them.
If you help them define whattheir next logical step is,
whether it's a trade school or,you know, a college or different
sorts of things, or even acareer or an apprenticeship Some

(01:20:09):
of those things are so good,like because we've got to stop
shoving the square pegs in thewrong holes.
Every kid is not meant to sitin a cubicle.

Speaker 1 (01:20:22):
Say that one again to do?

Speaker 2 (01:20:28):
sit in a cubicle.
Say that one again.
Every kid is not meant to go tocollege.
Sit in a cubicle, you know, andwork on a computer all day,
every day, like, and you knowit's.
They all are so wired sodifferently, and so the the
trades, oh my goodness, there isso much Like if you have a kid
that can't sit down, like I meanI would rather die than go sit

(01:20:52):
in a cubicle by myself.

Speaker 1 (01:20:55):
That's what I thought I had to do.
I escaped, thank God yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:21:02):
Yeah, I'm so glad you did because what you're doing
is so important.
But, like I mean, and somepeople are shy and they're, and
they're really good with numbersand they're- you know, one of
our kids is like a nationalhonor society.
Like he's one of the top 1% inthe nation of how smart he is,
but he is, he's um, like just alittle socially awkward, so I

(01:21:24):
don't know all.
I'm like I'm not gonna diagnoseor unpack what's going on there
, but like our group is the onlything that he did all through
middle school and high schoolwith other kids like and and our
other kids aren't allnecessarily as smart as him, for
sure they are and and they allhave different giftings and

(01:21:44):
stuff.
But like it's so cool to seethese totally dramatically
different kids, you know, and hejust they would make him laugh,
like and he would belly laughbecause the kids are so silly
and ridiculous, you know, andthe other things that we
do to?
Um, you know we do and listen,we do too.
You know we do and listen.
Go to our website,klyscopeteensorg, because I'm

(01:22:08):
not very good at getting to thepoint, but we do a lot of
excursions and activities withthe kids and stuff.
So one is the doing the albumor writing a book, but we also
work with Tickets for Kids.
So huge shout out to Ticketsfor Kids.
It's an organization thatnonprofits that serve kids can
work with and they get donationsfrom like the Timberwolves and

(01:22:30):
from the twins and or fromindividual ticket holders.
They get donations of ticketsthat are going to go unused and
then kids that are in thecommunity that wouldn't
otherwise have these experiencesget to go do those sorts of
things.
So we get to go to the Vikingsand the Twins and we get to go
to the Ordway Theater and seethe Nutcracker Ballet and go to

(01:22:53):
concerts and all sorts of supercool fun stuff.
You know we help them getinternships and jobs.
I talked about that.
So our collective like impact iswe've we've fed now close to
9,000 meals to teens in ourcommunity because when for the
group that gets together inperson, we've, you know, we

(01:23:15):
provide dinner and stuff andthen we provide meals to
families that, like somefamilies, you know, I mean our
kids are worried about what dowe want for Christmas and we're
trying to buy all these presents.
Well, a lot of families one ofmy 12 year olds said I can't
remember the last time I got aChristmas present, you know, and
it's heartbreaking.

(01:23:35):
And so I work with localbusinesses to help with that and
get gift cards.
You know, even just you knowChick-fil-A is always a donor
and, um, culver's is always adonor.
And then you know, even justyou know Chick-fil-A is always a
donor and Culver's is always adonor.
And then you know differentother stuff.
Nissan actually did a drive forus as well.
But also the thing to thinkabout is that when families that

(01:23:56):
I mean I have a mom who's had amaster's degree and she's a
teacher and she's also sellingbeauty products from the Dead
Sea as a side hustle and shestill can't afford her rent and
her to feed her, like I mean,she's got a rugby player, she's

(01:24:16):
got two big boys that like eat alot of food.
So some of these families can'tafford to provide food for
their families during schoolbreaks.
So during they're not worriedabout Christmas presents,
they're worried about how am Igoing to feed my kids over the
break, you know.
So we have 100% graduation rate.
We're from high school schooland in our community the last

(01:24:51):
recorded stats that I've seenwas 71 and 72% of Black and
Latino students were graduating.
91 and 92% of Asian andCaucasian students were
graduating.
So there's 30% of the kids thatare Black and Latino that were
not graduating.
Our school is now 50% kids ofcolor, so that's not okay.
So we are getting 100% of thosekids to graduate.

(01:25:12):
We're getting 100% of them onsome kind of a college or career
pathway.
You know we've provided over 350free support groups and you
know we at one time had 38% ofteens had recorded that they
were um, had some suicidalideation, and they've chosen

(01:25:33):
life Like they've, you know, andI, I, I told you like I, like I
asked for that, that directdownload from the Lord for that,
because, like they trust me,and so sometimes with someone
who's feeling super hopeless,you know, there's just a moment
where they're done and if theyhave the means in that moment,

(01:25:56):
then that's a problem.
So if they don't and they have asomeone who they trust that
they can call, you know, and andI mean, think about that for
your kids, like truly thinkabout that.
Like I always was veryintentional about trying to find
another like-minded parent thatI trusted that might, or a
counselor for my kids, justsomebody that I knew if they

(01:26:19):
didn't want to talk to me whichthey probably don't, because
they're not going to listen towhat I say anyways, because I'm
mom Like Kristen you could sayto my kids exactly like what I
would say to my kids, and theywould hear you and they would
not hear me.
This is true, yeah, so I don'tknow.

Speaker 1 (01:26:39):
I just I feel like this is so beautiful, Like I
said, so beautiful what you'redoing.
We could talk forever.
I feel like I need to have youon again at some point.
maybe comes out to share, moreto share more and maybe even
have some of the alumni come onand share as well, if they're
open to it.
Just throwing an idea out thereAgain, if you could just share

(01:27:03):
your just speak out the website,your email, um, your phone
number, and I'll be sure to putthis in the show notes as well.
I want to make sure that peoplecan connect with you.
Um if you could do that again,just as people are listening.

Speaker 2 (01:27:17):
Yeah, absolutely.
Um.
So it's.
My name is Tammy Ryder Harmsand the organization is
Kaleidoscope Teens and ourwebsite is kaleidoscopeteensorg.
So K-A-L-E-I-D-O-S-C-O-P-Eteens, plural T is 952-500-9723.

(01:27:45):
And my email is justtriderharms at kaleidoscopeteens
dot org.
So reach out to me.
I mean, if you have a, I meanyou know we're, we'll be
starting new in the fall onlinesupport groups and the and the
dream um.

(01:28:06):
If we have people that arereally invested in our mission
and the Lord gives the funding.
I mean I would love to empowerother people and provide them
with the curriculum to startgroups in their area so that we
can continue to expand Um.
And I would love, love, love,love um international groups

(01:28:30):
that get together online Um,because I think that it's really
important to see that ourexperience is universal, you
know.
Yes.

Speaker 1 (01:28:41):
Amen, girl.
This is amazing.
So as I do this, I do it forthe one, and I would just love
for you to to get in mind theone who's listening in today.
Do you have anything that you'dlike to speak over them today?
And then would you pray us out?

Speaker 2 (01:28:58):
absolutely, I will do both at the same time.
We'll see if I can do both atthe same time.

Speaker 1 (01:29:05):
Let's see if I can do that.

Speaker 2 (01:29:06):
Heavenly Father, I am just so grateful for the
connections that you create,that Kristen and I were able to
cross paths and that you'vecreated this opportunity this is
for sure divine interventionthat we are here having this
conversation today and I'm goingto pray here for the one like,

(01:29:29):
if you are the one like me, thatI mean you could be a single
parent.
You could not be a singleparent.
You could have teenagersanywhere from you know, 11 to 19
, or 19 to 25 that are reallystruggling.
They don't feel like they fitin.
They're feeling the weight ofanxiety and experiencing

(01:29:52):
depression, and it's coming outsideways.
They don't feel like theybelong, they don't feel like
they fit in.
They might be shy, they mightnot have friends, they're
overwhelmed with the thought ofhaving to decide.
You know what the future bringsfor them.
They're struggling because theyhave, like my kids, experienced

(01:30:15):
some trauma and, you know, havesome real legitimate pain that
they're experiencing, based onthings they're experiencing in
the home or at high school, likeif your kid is struggling, like
I know, you're struggling too,and the Lord sees you and the
Lord sees your teen, and I wantyou to envision your child in

(01:30:39):
the Lord's folded, cupped hands.
He is holding them, he hasgiven them a piggyback ride, but
he's also put people likeKristen on this earth to create
awareness of programs like ours.
That is here.
I have leaned into my faith andit has saved my life, and he

(01:31:02):
has led me to create thisprogram to provide hope and um
possibility and for kids to seetheir gifts and um.
You know, just choose life tooin some cases if your, if your

(01:31:23):
child is struggling withsuicidal ideation.
So I also pray like the albumthat we did and and some of the
work that we're doing is also inloving memory of my sister, who
died by suicide.
Stephanie, my cousin, who diedby suicide.
His name is Chris, ourphotographer and a volunteer.
Her brother, Roger Bloom, diedby suicide.
His name is Chris, ourphotographer and a volunteer.

(01:31:44):
Her brother, roger Bloom, diedby suicide.
And so you know we are here tolove you and support you and
give hope to you and hope toyour struggling teens, and so I
just pray that the Lord watchesover you, that you can do what I

(01:32:05):
did, which is I just had to getto my knee and just say, listen
, I cannot be with my child 24-7to keep them alive.
She is the Lord.
She is not mine and it's not upto me.
I don't.
I'm not her savior, she has asavior.

(01:32:27):
But we also are given tools,we're given the word, we're
giving our faith communities andwe're giving programs like this
to help you as the parent andto help your kids just know that
they were born on purpose andwith a purpose and help them

(01:32:48):
thrive in life.
So, if you are the one, reachout to me please.
I gotcha and the Lord has youtoo.
So I always say that the Lord'sgot you and I gotcha, so
together we'll make it throughthis crazy thing called life.
And so, with that um again, I'mso grateful and blessed to have
this opportunity and we'll prayfor the rest, rest of your

(01:33:12):
summer and the kickoff of yourschool year in jesus name, amen,
amen thank you that was a longprayer no, I love it, I love you
are such a blessing.

Speaker 1 (01:33:27):
So we've got everything covered with your
contact information.
Like I said, I'll be sure toput the information in the show
notes and any other resourcesthat she mentioned, I'll be sure
to add those as well.
So otherwise, I'm going toclose with our anchoring verse
over Hope, unlocked podcast.
It's may the God of hope fillyou with all joy and peace and

(01:33:47):
believing so that, by the powerof the Holy Spirit, you may
abound in hope, and that'sRomans 15, 13.
So thank you, tammy, for beinga brave voice.
Who's setting so many free, andI so appreciate you being here
today.
I will be back with anotherepisode next week.

(01:34:08):
Bye, listeners.

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